1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,381 Can you believe they fit 38 sugar cubes in here? 2 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,551 Hey, how much will you give me 3 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:09,969 if I can put them all in my mouth? 4 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:13,305 Nothing. 5 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,140 You're on. 6 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,061 Hey. Hey. 7 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,647 Hi, honey. 8 00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:22,648 Stop it. 9 00:00:27,486 --> 00:00:28,320 All of them. 10 00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:33,951 So, good news. 11 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,369 You know how we wanted the Central Park birdhouse 12 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,287 for our wedding? Yep. 13 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,372 They had a cancellation. It's ours in two weeks. 14 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,374 Oh, wow, that's good news. 15 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,041 I thought you were planning your wedding in your hometown. 16 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,919 We were, but that's when the boathouse wasn't available. 17 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:46,296 Now, it is. Oh, I love the boathouse. 18 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,923 Such a romantic setting. 19 00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:50,342 You know what else is romantic? 20 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,259 The coatroom in the boathouse. 21 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,806 Don't act like you don't remember that bar mitzvah. 22 00:00:58,017 --> 00:00:59,476 Anyway, all I have to do 23 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:00,811 is call this woman Heidi back to confirm. 24 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,396 Oh, Heidi! 25 00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:04,023 Hope it isn't Heidi-ho. 26 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,441 Oh. (SCOFFS) Here we go. 27 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,985 Who's "Heidi-ho"? 28 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:09,653 This woman that Jeff and I went to college with 29 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,822 who always had a thing for him. 30 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:13,657 Audrey thinks that Heidi and I had a fling 31 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,242 before we started dating, but we didn't. 32 00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,494 I know that's hard to imagine, 33 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:18,537 what, with all of this. 34 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,122 (CHUCKLES) 35 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,791 Well, why are you so sure she did? 36 00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:24,209 Because she would openly flirt with him 37 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,003 right in front of me, touching him, 38 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:28,047 laughing at his jokes. 39 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,006 He's not funny. 40 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,884 So for our wedding, I figured... 41 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,552 AUDREY: You wanna know why? 42 00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,596 Because we see her at a reunion, 43 00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:36,805 she still flirts with him. No, she doesn't, 44 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,473 why are we still talking about this? 45 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,225 Because you won't just admit it! 46 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,602 I'm not gonna take credit for something that isn't true. 47 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,395 Oh, please. 48 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,397 You take credit for inventing the word "supersize." 49 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,775 Hey, I heard a lot of people start using that word 50 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:48,859 right around the same time I did. 51 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,404 So enough about us and our big day. 52 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:53,280 What's up with you guys? 53 00:01:57,993 --> 00:01:59,954 ♪ How many ways to say I love you? 54 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,584 ♪ How many ways to say that I'm not scared? 55 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:12,466 ♪ With you by my side There is no denying 56 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:15,218 ♪ I can't wait for me and you ♪ 57 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,478 Here's your lunch, sir. 58 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,730 Great. 59 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,565 Oh, hey, can you call the manufacturer 60 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,943 of my fancy watch and report a problem? 61 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,987 Oh, um, what problem is that? 62 00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:35,823 Well, it says it's 12:37, 63 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:38,366 but that can't be right because I know my lunch 64 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,785 is supposed to come no later than 12:30. 65 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:46,166 I get it, I'm seven minutes late with your lunch. 66 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:47,334 Perhaps you could've snacked on your self-satisfaction. 67 00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:50,754 So what happened? 68 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:54,133 Did you make some sort of detour? 69 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,343 No, sir, just a long line at the deli today. 70 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,512 Oh, you didn't stop anywhere? 71 00:02:58,637 --> 00:02:59,972 Not even that nerdy bookstore 72 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:00,931 with the vintage books you like? 73 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,809 The one that smells like antique farts? 74 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,023 Um, you know, come to think of it, 75 00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:09,815 I did pop into that shop... 76 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,108 Oh, okay. 77 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,401 But how did you know? 78 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,987 Oh, just... Lucky guess. 79 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:17,405 I suppose so. 80 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,366 Hey, Tim, 81 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,284 in the future, maybe no more lies? 82 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,831 I mean, I don't lie to you. 83 00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,166 I'd expect the same in return. 84 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,376 You do nothing but lie to me. 85 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,504 Oh, boo-hoo, Tim. 86 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,131 Go cry to your friends at the fart store! 87 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,640 So Audrey's still upset with that Heidi girl? 88 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,559 Yeah, you know, Audrey and I have had a lot of fights over the years, 89 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,602 but this is truly one of her favorites 90 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,854 because she knows I can't win. 91 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,315 What? Why can't you win? 92 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,942 'Cause you can't prove a negative. 93 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,903 Sure you can. No, you can't. 94 00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:58,113 It's like if I said "Hey, I heard that, one time at camp, 95 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:58,989 "you touched another dude's wiener." 96 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,324 Well, Kyle's a liar. 97 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:08,707 Wait, what? What, what? 98 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:09,666 Who? 99 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,211 Uh, nothing. 100 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:15,130 Oh. 101 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,965 Well, listen, if you didn't sleep with Heidi, 102 00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:19,051 you should have, because Audrey already thinks you did 103 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,802 which supports my theory: 104 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,222 Never leave untapped that which could be tapped. 105 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:26,683 It was never really an option. 106 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,102 She's just a flirty girl. 107 00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:29,603 I mean, she was that way with everybody. 108 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,563 Well, I believe you because you're trustworthy, 109 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:32,689 and that's an important quality, 110 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,442 one that I like in my best man. 111 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,945 Oh, boy. Oh, no. 112 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,738 Yes, yes, this is a tough decision for me, 113 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:42,532 but you're the two guys who know me the best. 114 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,408 I don't know. Kyle might know a thing or two. 115 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,369 No. 116 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,289 No. It's gotta be you two. 117 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,126 You know, as much as I hate to say this, 118 00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:53,376 I really think Russell's the man for the job. 119 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,295 He's your boss. All right. 120 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,213 He took you under his little wing. 121 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,134 You know, but what I say 122 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:01,802 is that I think it might be Jeff 123 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,054 because he's been to the altar. 124 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:05,513 He's made the same mistake, you know? 125 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,683 Yeah, I, I... I was a... 126 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,893 I was afraid you guys might fight over this. 127 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:11,937 Is that what's happening? 128 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,482 Well, that's why I prepared this: 129 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:18,152 A list of questions to see who knows me best. 130 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:18,944 Now, whoever can answer the most 131 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,113 gets to be my best man. 132 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:21,947 Question one: 133 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,033 What is my middle name? 134 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:25,909 Suckhole. Who gives a crap? 135 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,454 The correct answer is "Shannon." 136 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,375 Um, but Russell's closest with the "s" guess, 137 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,294 so hey, you get the point. 138 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,424 Hey. Hey! 139 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:42,968 Listen, I didn't know if you were hungry, 140 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,052 so I got you a meatball sub. 141 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:45,012 Ate mine on the way home. 142 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:48,598 No, I already had dinner. 143 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:49,474 I was hoping you'd say that. 144 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:54,353 So just for fun, 145 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,231 I decided to check out Heidi-ho's Facebook profile. 146 00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:58,692 You seem happy. (GIGGLES) 147 00:05:58,817 --> 00:05:59,734 How fat is she? 148 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,447 Oh, no. She's not fat. 149 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,365 I am happy because of a certain picture she posted. 150 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,909 Uh-huh, what am I looking at here? 151 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,745 That's you in college without a shirt at a party. 152 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,248 "Where is your shirt?" You may ask. 153 00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,416 Your shirt is on that girl sitting on your lap kissing your cheek. 154 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,918 She's wearing it. 155 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,795 So Heidi's wearing my shirt. 156 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,214 And kissing you! 157 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:22,132 This proves I'm right. No. 158 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,343 It was probably cold, so I gave her my shirt. 159 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,094 All it proves is that I was a gentleman. 160 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,180 (SCOFFS AND LAUGHS) 161 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,140 All it proves is this fight is over. 162 00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:33,143 I win. No, it's not over. 163 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,519 It's far from over! 164 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,274 My God, my pecs were defined. 165 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,867 Oh, excellent draping, Felipe, 166 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:50,535 and thanks for remembering that I dress to the right. 167 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:53,997 (EXHALES) Well, well, well. 168 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,665 Lookie here. 169 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,709 What are the chances? 170 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,379 Sir, what are you doing here? 171 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,922 I'm not telling you anything until you say, 172 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,924 (BRITISH ACCENT) "I'm a fancy lad with fancy pants." 173 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,300 No. Say it. 174 00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:06,885 I will not. Sing it. 175 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,220 Negative. Think it. 176 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,221 Fine. 177 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,058 (LAUGHS) 178 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,976 For the past few weeks, you seem to know my every move. 179 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,437 The bookstore, the tailor, 180 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,981 how many times I've used the restroom. 181 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,191 Yeah, what's with that? You have a UTI or something? 182 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,778 Fess up, sir. 183 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,114 Did you install something in my phone 184 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,448 so that you could track my whereabouts? 185 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,200 In your phone? 186 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:31,410 Well, that would've been easier. 187 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,579 Easier than what? 188 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,290 Hey, a houndstooth handkerchief. 189 00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:37,124 They still make these? 190 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:40,627 What have you done? 191 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:42,629 Uh, okay. 192 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,924 Remember when I made everyone in the company 193 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:46,967 get a mandatory flu shot? 194 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:51,388 Well, you were the only one that actually got one. 195 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,475 Why would you bring in a nurse 196 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,060 to give only me a flu shot? 197 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,895 Well, 'cause she wasn't exactly a nurse. 198 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:02,232 She was a veterinary assistant I was dating at the time. 199 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,483 No. Did... 200 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,195 Did you implant a tracking chip in me? 201 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,198 I kinda did. 202 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,870 You actually inserted a microchip 203 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:16,788 into my body to track me. 204 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,498 Unbelievable! 205 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,583 You are an animal. 206 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:21,709 I'm not the one with a pet chip in him. 207 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:25,964 Oh, no. 208 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,091 Don't. 209 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,259 Timmy, don't leave. 210 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,594 I'll know where you're going. 211 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,809 Hey. Hey. 212 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,353 How'd the best man quiz go? 213 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:40,228 Oh, they both went 1 for 30. 214 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,439 Aw, that's not very good. 215 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:43,731 I know. Tied for first. 216 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,735 This'll be tougher than I thought. 217 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,279 You know, I don't think I've ever said this to you before, 218 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,158 but maybe you're over-thinking this. 219 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:54,868 I do do that. 220 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:56,536 (LAUGHS) "Doo-doo." 221 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,707 Okay, why don't you ask yourself 222 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:01,624 who's been there for you the most? 223 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,544 Yeah. 224 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:05,420 Yeah, like, who would rescue me 225 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,005 if I was in danger? 226 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,715 That's not what I meant. 227 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,218 When the chips are down, and my life is on the line... 228 00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:13,512 (EXHALES) I don't like where this is headed. 229 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,055 You know, the only way to really know 230 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,556 who should be my best man 231 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,766 is to see who has my back when it counts. 232 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,643 Don't put yourself in danger. 233 00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,896 That's exactly what I'm gonna do. 234 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,064 Hey, thanks again, honey. BOTH: Mmm. 235 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,190 Great idea. 236 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:31,863 Hey, you ready for dinner? 237 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,490 I was thinking maybe we could stay in. 238 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,033 Huh, we don't have any food. 239 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,326 Just have something delivered. 240 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,202 Come on. I wanna go out. 241 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,871 Fine. Let's go out. 242 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:40,914 Let me just take a quick bath. 243 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,043 Bath? What's going on with you? 244 00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:46,253 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 245 00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,128 Aw, forget the bath. 246 00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:48,880 Just get the door. 247 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,177 Audrey! 248 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:57,222 Heidi-ho... My gosh. 249 00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,641 What are you doing here? 250 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,477 Well, Jeff called and asked me to come over. 251 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,564 He did? Yeah, yeah. 252 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,525 He did. 253 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,952 Audrey and I need you to help us settle 254 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,787 a little disagreement that we're having. 255 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,789 All right, okay. This is all Jeff's idea. 256 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,333 Frankly, I'm embarrassed he asked you over here at all. 257 00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,709 Don't let her presence embarrass you. 258 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,379 Let her words do it. 259 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,424 Now, Heidi, could you tell Audrey 260 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,217 the nature of our college relationship 261 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,636 in your own words? 262 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,805 Well, we were friends in college. 263 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,557 Friends. 264 00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,100 So we saw each other socially and nothing more? 265 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:43,643 Is that a fair assessment? 266 00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:48,231 Yeah, I guess that's what friends are. 267 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,775 Interesting, interesting. 268 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,026 Your witness. Jeff. 269 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:55,696 (GASPS) Wait a minute. 270 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,865 Is that what this is all about? 271 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,576 Audrey, did you think Jeff and I had something going on? 272 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,828 Well...no, not when we were dating. 273 00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,080 I just thought, you know, 274 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,748 perhaps, you two were an item 275 00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,834 before we started dating, which is fine. 276 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:11,129 It's not even any of my business. No, no, we never did anything. 277 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,339 And that's not from Facebook. 278 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:15,133 That's from her actual face. 279 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,179 Well, honestly, you had nothing to worry about, Audrey. 280 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:22,599 I mean, Jeff's really not my type. 281 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:24,892 (LAUGHS) Yeah. 282 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,936 He's really not anyone's type, is he? 283 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,104 (BOTH LAUGHING) 284 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,314 (FORCED LAUGH) 285 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:30,524 (LAUGHTER) 286 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,070 (SCOFFS) Damn, voice mail. 287 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,659 Jeff, Jeff, it's Adam. 288 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,537 Look, I was climbing my favorite rock in Central Park, and my foot got stuck, okay? 289 00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:46,498 I need you to come help me right away! Please hurry. 290 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:47,832 I don't want to have to cut this thing off! 291 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:55,465 (CELL PHONE VIBRATES) 292 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:56,757 Agh... 293 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,178 Adam. 294 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:02,472 "Ignore." 295 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:07,726 The race is on, gentlemen. 296 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,317 Timmy, what are you doing here? 297 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:17,028 You're supposed to be at 74th and Broadway. 298 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,948 I was there. 299 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,577 It's my doctor's office where I had the chip removed. 300 00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:25,328 Why? It was such a fun game! 301 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,583 It was like Where's Waldo? But incredibly easy. 302 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,295 Sorry, but the fun is over. 303 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,089 Okay, look... 304 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:38,633 My lunch has been late a few times. 305 00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:40,719 You know how I get when my blood sugar gets low. 306 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,011 I turn into a bit of a micromanager. 307 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,014 Micro! (CHUCKLES) 308 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,224 And I implanted you with a microchip. 309 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,393 That's wonderful. 310 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,230 All right, what's this? 311 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,483 It's my letter of resignation. 312 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,568 Oh, we have a company letterhead? 313 00:12:58,528 --> 00:12:59,571 I didn't know that. That's a good font. 314 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:00,363 Can I get a bunch of these? 315 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,908 I cannot... 316 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,119 As I no longer work for you. 317 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:09,581 Oh, come on. This is the part where I apologize 318 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,626 and tell you to come back, and then you say no, and then you cave in. 319 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,001 We've done this a million times. Can we not do it again? 320 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,546 Good-bye, sir. 321 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,886 Well, this is a new wrinkle. 322 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,434 (CHUCKLES) Heidi, I am so glad you came. 323 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,728 Thanks for making it abundantly clear that we never dated. 324 00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:34,021 (LAUGHTER) 325 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,023 Well, it's hilarious that you ever thought we did. 326 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,359 (LAUGHS) I know. A real hoot for all of us. 327 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,278 (SIGHS) 328 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:41,696 Anyway, we will see you at the next reunion. 329 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,573 Yes, I'm looking forward to it. 330 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:44,823 (LAUGHS) I'll walk you out. 331 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,367 Thanks. (LAUGHS) 332 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,869 JEFF: Thanks again for coming. 333 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,664 Oh, happy to help, 334 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,582 and I think she bought it. 335 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,292 Yeah. What did you just say? 336 00:13:57,420 --> 00:14:00,423 I said, "I think she bought that I wasn't interested in you back in college." 337 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,091 I... I mean, you knew I was, right? 338 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:04,761 I did not know that. 339 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,682 (LAUGHS) Oh, my God. 340 00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:11,017 Well, I mean, I saw something was bothering Audrey, 341 00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:14,562 so I played along, but I totally had a thing for you. 342 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,731 Did you now? (GIGGLES) 343 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,609 Yes. I thought it was so obvious. 344 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,653 I was always flirting with you and touching you 345 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,572 and laughing at your jokes. 346 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,948 (LAUGHS) How could you not see that? 347 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:26,949 That's a good question. 348 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,037 As a matter of fact, when you called, 349 00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:32,706 I was kind of hoping that's what this was about. 350 00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:33,832 (LAUGHTER) 351 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,584 How about that? (ELEVATOR DINGS) 352 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,335 There you go. (GIGGLES) 353 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,674 It was really fun seeing you. 354 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:43,842 Fun isn't even the word. 355 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,177 (SIGHS) 356 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,771 All right. Go ahead. 357 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,481 Gloat that you won the 20-year argument. 358 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,108 Yeah. I win. 359 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,194 (CHUCKLES) 360 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,822 You know, after talking to her, I feel pretty dumb 361 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,241 that I ever thought there was anything between you and Heidi. 362 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,034 Yeah, well, there wasn't, so let's just forget the whole thing. 363 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,870 You know, I guess in my mind, 364 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,454 she was skanky because I resented her, 365 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,955 but she's actually really pretty. 366 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,584 I mean, she's way out of your league. 367 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,711 (LAUGHS) 368 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,505 (SIGHS) Right. Movin'...movin' on. 369 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,173 (LAUGHS) 370 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:27,134 Oh, God, she could not have been less interested in you. 371 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,177 Yeah, I was here. 372 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,640 Boy, did we have a good laugh about that one. 373 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,518 Okay. 374 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,562 Okay, you know, I didn't wanna have to tell you this, 375 00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:40,857 but if she's so out of my league, 376 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,360 then why did she just hit on me? 377 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,112 (LAUGHS) That's a good one. 378 00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:49,490 No, she did, right there at the elevator. 379 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,660 Said that she's always wanted some of this, and, you know what? 380 00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:53,578 Still does. 381 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,667 Honey, she just sat there saying the complete opposite. 382 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,294 That was all for your benefit. 383 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,421 Oh, ho, honey. No, don't patronize me. 384 00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:09,510 There's an attractive woman out there who is hot for me. 385 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,221 Okay, sweetheart, you cannot have this both ways, okay? 386 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:15,141 You just spent 20 years trying to convince me she wasn't into you. 387 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:18,269 You finally did! You won! Enjoy it! 388 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:19,896 (CHUCKLES) 389 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,565 (SIGHS) 390 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,819 I can't, I can't. Not like this. 391 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,991 Heidi. Heidi, it's Jeff. Yeah. 392 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:34,452 Could you come on back up here, 393 00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:35,954 and tell Audrey how you've always wanted me and still do? 394 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:39,290 What do you mean? How is that weird? 395 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,131 (SIGHS) Hey. 396 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:50,593 So Adam didn't come home last night. 397 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,136 Oh, you know what? You should think about chipping him. 398 00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,056 He was waiting for you idiots, 399 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,267 and neither of you were any help at all. 400 00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,979 Don't look at me. I didn't get a message. 401 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,772 Well, it didn't work. He was at the park all night. 402 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:03,731 What was he doing in the park? 403 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:04,983 I don't know. He's a dope. 404 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,235 Oh, my God! You're freezing. 405 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,657 No, no, I've never felt more alive. 406 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,535 Why are you looking so happy? 407 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:18,245 I was watching the sunrise or a bum drop a twosie on the jogging path. 408 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,457 I realized something. 409 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,251 I realized you guys weren't coming, 410 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,252 but it wasn't because you didn't care. 411 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:26,963 It wasn't? No. 412 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,050 No, it was because you knew 413 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:32,635 that I had to figure this out for myself. 414 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,345 Mmm. Right? 415 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,806 I mean, I'm an adult now. I'm getting married. 416 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,391 I can't always rely on my friends to bail me out. 417 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,351 No, you cannot. 418 00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:44,022 You guys taught me that lesson. 419 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:47,400 That was the lesson that we were intending to teach. Yeah. 420 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:50,820 Listen, we were talking to Jen about this whole "best man" thing, 421 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,989 and it's not fair that you have to choose between us, 422 00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,949 so what do you think about having co-best men? 423 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:57,744 Seriously? 424 00:17:59,037 --> 00:17:59,913 Seriously? 425 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,001 Bros, you have no idea what this means to me. 426 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:07,503 Hey, I'm gonna buy you guys breakfast... 427 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,672 Right after I thaw out my junk under the hand dryer. 428 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,889 RUSSELL: Hey, Timmy. 429 00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:20,850 Tidying up the old work space. I appreciate that. 430 00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:22,852 It was looking a little Taj Mahal-ian here. 431 00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,312 (CHUCKLES) 432 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,355 Yeah, but I didn't say anything 'cause I'm the cool boss. 433 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:32,987 All right, are you still mad that I chipped you? 434 00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:36,240 Look, I'm sorry, all right? 435 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,992 I'm gonna make it up to you. 436 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,786 Congratulations. You're getting that promotion you asked for. 437 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,081 No, thanks. 438 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:43,957 But it comes with your own office! 439 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:46,626 Pass. 440 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,085 (IMITATING ACCENT) Pass. 441 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,257 All right, listen, a couple weeks ago, I needed you. 442 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,634 Tried to get you on your phone, you weren't answering. 443 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,219 I couldn't find you, and I... 444 00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,262 And what? 445 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,015 You needed someone to blow on your soup? 446 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,935 Apply your ointment? 447 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,105 Help convince some unsuspecting girl 448 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,439 that you're thirtysomething's Peter Horton? 449 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:13,486 No. Truth is, I panicked. 450 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:16,155 And I started thinking, "I don't know what'd I do if you weren't here." 451 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:17,991 You're about to find out. 452 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:20,827 Good-bye, sir. 453 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:22,912 Timmy. 454 00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:26,373 Tim! Come here. 455 00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:29,877 (EXHALES) 456 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,129 Who's gonna help convince chicks 457 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,214 that I'm thirtysomething's Peter Horton? 458 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,473 All right, you guys ready to go to the movies? 459 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,892 Uh, not quite. 460 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,811 Well, it starts pretty soon. 461 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:50,940 Oh, don't worry, you won't miss the show biz celebrity scramble quiz. 462 00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:52,900 This time, if the clue's Indiana Jones, 463 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:53,943 I know it's not Harrison Dorf. 464 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,487 All right, let's get moving. 465 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,197 Fine, let's go. 466 00:19:58,322 --> 00:19:59,490 Let me just take a quick bath. 467 00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,076 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) 468 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,243 Oh, never mind. Get that. 469 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:08,791 Adam. 470 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:10,877 Kyle? 471 00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,089 What are you doing here? 472 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,132 JEFF: I invited him. 473 00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:17,175 Found him on Facebook. 474 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,761 Now, how do you two know each other again?