1 00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:37,740 Just straight through there and to the left, please. 2 00:03:57,194 --> 00:03:58,455 Okay. 3 00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:08,000 Would you like to... 4 00:04:26,356 --> 00:04:27,823 Who's this? 5 00:04:28,591 --> 00:04:29,615 Pardon me? 6 00:04:30,293 --> 00:04:32,090 That's not my father. 7 00:04:35,031 --> 00:04:37,555 Oh, shit, we've taken the wrong one. 8 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,795 Really sorry about that, sir. We'll go back and get him. 9 00:04:40,869 --> 00:04:42,131 Come on. 10 00:04:49,344 --> 00:04:50,606 Jesus. 11 00:05:16,472 --> 00:05:18,701 They brought the wrong coffin. 12 00:05:19,107 --> 00:05:20,631 You're joking. 13 00:05:22,176 --> 00:05:24,804 Can you believe that? It's a good job I checked. 14 00:05:24,879 --> 00:05:28,007 Could have been having a service for some random member of the public. 15 00:05:28,082 --> 00:05:30,846 What kind of Mickey Mouse business are these people running, anyway? 16 00:05:30,918 --> 00:05:32,078 My God! 17 00:05:32,153 --> 00:05:35,020 There's just so much to worry about, you know. And Mum's in a state. 18 00:05:35,089 --> 00:05:37,751 Robert's clearly not gonna do anything to help, assuming he gets here at all. 19 00:05:37,825 --> 00:05:39,190 Plus, this eulogy's just awful. 20 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,018 - I'm sure it's not awful, Daniel. - Yeah, it is. It is. 21 00:05:43,231 --> 00:05:45,461 Everyone's going to be thinking, "Why isn't Robert doing the eulogy? 22 00:05:45,533 --> 00:05:47,694 "He's such a great writer." Maybe I should just let him do it. 23 00:05:47,768 --> 00:05:50,862 You are every bit as good a writer as your brother, Daniel, if not better. 24 00:05:50,938 --> 00:05:53,839 You've just got to let somebody else read your novel. 25 00:05:53,908 --> 00:05:56,398 Yeah, everything's going to be okay. 26 00:05:56,476 --> 00:05:59,468 Once the funeral's over, we've just got to focus 27 00:05:59,546 --> 00:06:03,209 on moving out of here and starting our own lives properly. 28 00:06:07,287 --> 00:06:10,347 You did call them, didn't you, Daniel? 29 00:06:11,024 --> 00:06:15,620 - You did put the deposit on the flat? - Yeah, I'll sort it out, I promise. 30 00:06:19,599 --> 00:06:23,501 God, I hate funerals. Don't you? Really, they're just so depressing. 31 00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:26,061 I don't know, it's just the death and everything. 32 00:06:26,139 --> 00:06:29,973 Do you know what I mean? Do you agree, Justin? Justin? 33 00:06:30,043 --> 00:06:31,977 Yeah, they're all right. 34 00:06:32,045 --> 00:06:36,378 All right? Sorry, how could you possibly think that they're all right? 35 00:06:36,448 --> 00:06:39,815 Why are you even coming to this? Anyway, you don't even know Daniel. 36 00:06:39,885 --> 00:06:41,318 I do know Daniel. I met him a couple of times. 37 00:06:41,387 --> 00:06:43,321 A couple of times. But he's not a friend, is he? 38 00:06:43,389 --> 00:06:44,686 No, not a friend. 39 00:06:44,757 --> 00:06:46,486 Sorry, if you're going to smoke, 40 00:06:46,559 --> 00:06:47,958 would you please put that out of the window? 41 00:06:48,027 --> 00:06:51,155 I'd really rather not get your cancer, thank you very much. 42 00:06:51,230 --> 00:06:54,222 I've got enough of my own problems to be worrying about. 43 00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:55,699 Yeah? Like what? 44 00:06:55,768 --> 00:07:00,671 Like the discoloration on my wrist that I keep telling you about. Look at it. 45 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,334 It's fucked. I'm fucked. 46 00:07:06,946 --> 00:07:08,971 Why are you even coming? 47 00:07:10,316 --> 00:07:12,807 It's because of Martha, isn't it? 48 00:07:15,186 --> 00:07:16,483 Justin. 49 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:22,155 - Are you okay? - Not too bad, thanks, Martha. 50 00:07:23,695 --> 00:07:26,789 - I'm a bit nervous. - About seeing my dad? 51 00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:30,732 I just don't think I've ever been so openly hated by anyone before. 52 00:07:30,802 --> 00:07:33,896 He just hates everyone. You mustn't take it to heart. 53 00:07:33,972 --> 00:07:37,965 - You need to relax with him. - I can't help it. He puts me on edge. 54 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,340 He's going to be more concerned that his sister's husband's just died. 55 00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:42,174 He's not going to be focused on you. 56 00:07:42,247 --> 00:07:46,274 Anyway, I'm sure when I tell him that we're getting married then, you know, 57 00:07:46,351 --> 00:07:48,046 he'll start to learn to accept you. 58 00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:50,383 - You sure about that? - Of course. 59 00:07:50,455 --> 00:07:53,481 I don't really see Victor as the accepting type. 60 00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:01,429 We're on our way to a funeral, you wanker! Don't you have any respect? 61 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,999 Okay. Calm down. It's all right, it's all right. Breathe. 62 00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:09,768 In through your nose, okay? 63 00:08:10,007 --> 00:08:11,634 Deep breaths. You all right? 64 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,972 - Yeah. - Fucking tosser. 65 00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:25,378 Okay, I'm going to go down. 66 00:08:25,455 --> 00:08:27,252 Hopefully they've brought the right coffin this time. 67 00:08:27,324 --> 00:08:29,189 - I'll come with you. - No, it's okay. I can do it. 68 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,921 Oh, no, I know you can. I'm just going to come check on the seating. 69 00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:34,019 Make sure there's enough room for Uncle Alfie. 70 00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:36,724 Oh, shit. Shit! Shit! 71 00:08:38,701 --> 00:08:40,293 Hello? 72 00:08:40,369 --> 00:08:43,304 Hello, mate, how are you? All right? 73 00:08:43,372 --> 00:08:44,805 Yeah. 74 00:08:44,874 --> 00:08:47,843 Of course I remember Uncle Alfie. Yeah. 75 00:08:47,910 --> 00:08:51,346 Absolutely fine. Yeah, yeah. No, not a problem at all. 76 00:08:51,414 --> 00:08:55,316 No. Of course I don't mind. All right. 77 00:08:55,384 --> 00:08:58,353 Yeah, don't worry. All right. No, it's fine, I promise. 78 00:08:58,421 --> 00:09:01,015 All right, we'll see you soon. Okay, bye. 79 00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:02,284 Shit! 80 00:09:18,206 --> 00:09:20,504 So, is this your father, sir? 81 00:09:24,646 --> 00:09:26,238 Yes, it is, yes. 82 00:09:39,461 --> 00:09:41,452 Hey, Mum. You all right? 83 00:09:41,529 --> 00:09:44,225 I just don't know what I'm going to do without him. 84 00:09:44,299 --> 00:09:46,529 - What have I got to live for now? - Mum, don't be silly. 85 00:09:46,601 --> 00:09:50,833 You've got your friends, family. You've got me and Jane and Robert. 86 00:09:50,905 --> 00:09:52,338 Where is Robert? Have you heard from him? 87 00:09:52,407 --> 00:09:55,375 His plane was just landed at 10:00, but he'll be here, don't worry. 88 00:09:55,442 --> 00:09:57,933 Now, if there's anything I can do, Sandra. 89 00:09:58,011 --> 00:10:01,742 Don't put your hand there, dear. You'll leave smudge marks. 90 00:10:17,698 --> 00:10:20,599 All right. No, I'll get them to you this evening. 91 00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:23,636 No, no can do this afternoon. I've got a funeral. 92 00:10:23,704 --> 00:10:26,172 Yeah, my uncle died. Yeah, tragic. 93 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,038 No, I'm telling you, mate, this is really powerful stuff. 94 00:10:29,109 --> 00:10:31,737 Yeah, you really only need to take half. 95 00:10:31,945 --> 00:10:34,378 No, trust me, they're going to blow your fucking head off. 96 00:10:35,615 --> 00:10:38,106 All right, I got to go. Sister's here. I'll take them with me 97 00:10:38,184 --> 00:10:41,642 and drop them by after the funeral. Okay, catch you later. Bye. 98 00:10:55,067 --> 00:10:57,035 Yeah, hang on. 99 00:11:02,809 --> 00:11:04,470 Hi. How's it going? 100 00:11:04,544 --> 00:11:06,171 Troy, you're not ready. Come on, we're gonna be late. 101 00:11:06,245 --> 00:11:09,339 Just need to put on my trousers and I'm done. You guys okay? 102 00:11:09,415 --> 00:11:11,713 Simon's a bit freaked out. We just had some arsehole driver 103 00:11:11,784 --> 00:11:14,013 - almost ram us off the road. - Really? Fucking bastards. 104 00:11:14,085 --> 00:11:17,145 Make yourselves comfy. I'll be two minutes. 105 00:11:17,222 --> 00:11:20,385 - What are these pills all over the place? - Troy's studying to be a pharmacist. 106 00:11:21,693 --> 00:11:24,253 - Are you okay? - I'm a bit shaky. 107 00:11:24,963 --> 00:11:26,897 Not much, just a... 108 00:11:27,399 --> 00:11:28,798 Just a bit. 109 00:11:29,367 --> 00:11:32,097 Here, have one of these. 110 00:11:33,305 --> 00:11:36,206 - It'll calm you down. - Are you sure? 111 00:11:36,274 --> 00:11:40,301 Absolutely. It's just Valium. I used to take them all the time. 112 00:11:40,378 --> 00:11:42,869 It'll make you feel better, honestly. 113 00:11:42,948 --> 00:11:44,711 Come on, open wide. 114 00:11:52,923 --> 00:11:54,185 Ready. 115 00:11:59,296 --> 00:12:00,627 Thank you. 116 00:12:06,670 --> 00:12:07,967 Hello? 117 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,676 - Hello? - Robert? 118 00:12:14,445 --> 00:12:15,742 Robert. 119 00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:18,210 - Hi, Mum. - Oh, darling. 120 00:12:18,282 --> 00:12:20,443 How are you, sweetheart? 121 00:12:23,087 --> 00:12:24,554 - Hey. - Hey. 122 00:12:24,622 --> 00:12:26,852 - Hey, how are you doing? Yeah? - Okay. Okay. I'm okay. 123 00:12:26,924 --> 00:12:29,620 - Okay. Hi. - Hi, Robert. 124 00:12:29,693 --> 00:12:31,284 - How are you? - Good. Good. How are you? 125 00:12:31,361 --> 00:12:33,022 - Great. - How was the flight? 126 00:12:33,096 --> 00:12:35,428 Great. There was a lot of turbulence, which was a bit worrying. 127 00:12:35,498 --> 00:12:37,557 But, I mean, I guess that's the thing about first class. 128 00:12:37,634 --> 00:12:39,295 It doesn't matter how much you pay for the ticket, 129 00:12:39,369 --> 00:12:42,668 if the plane crashes, you're all gonna end up dead. 130 00:12:43,873 --> 00:12:45,135 Sorry. 131 00:12:45,909 --> 00:12:48,207 No, no, I'll... Don't worry. 132 00:12:52,282 --> 00:12:53,579 Oh, shit. 133 00:13:06,496 --> 00:13:08,020 That's him. 134 00:13:08,331 --> 00:13:11,663 Jesus, Howard, you didn't say he was going to be in a fucking wheelchair. 135 00:13:25,147 --> 00:13:29,140 Uncle Alfie. Hello. We're here to take you to the funeral. 136 00:13:29,217 --> 00:13:32,050 Where the fuck have you been? You're late. 137 00:13:57,511 --> 00:13:59,604 This is bloody grim, isn't it? 138 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:03,275 - It's not supposed to be fun, Robert. - I know, but Jesus. 139 00:14:04,151 --> 00:14:06,745 I feel like my heart has been 140 00:14:07,188 --> 00:14:10,851 - wrenched out of my ribcage. It's awful. - Well, that's grief for you. 141 00:14:11,092 --> 00:14:13,151 This is why I prefer not to have close relationships with people. 142 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,695 There's too much emotion involved. 143 00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:21,568 Well, I'm just glad that you're gonna be here with Mum. 144 00:14:21,636 --> 00:14:25,231 Well, yeah. Well, not for long, 'cause Jane and I are moving out. 145 00:14:26,540 --> 00:14:30,498 - Well, what about Mum? - I was thinking maybe she'd like to 146 00:14:31,077 --> 00:14:33,739 come to New York with you for a bit. 147 00:14:34,381 --> 00:14:36,178 Well, don't be ridiculous. I can't take her to New York. 148 00:14:36,249 --> 00:14:38,114 What am I gonna do with her, take her to parties? 149 00:14:38,184 --> 00:14:40,709 But we've already decided. We're putting a deposit on a flat. 150 00:14:40,787 --> 00:14:42,152 And I'm gonna need the money. 151 00:14:42,222 --> 00:14:45,453 - What money? - The money for all this, for the funeral. 152 00:14:45,525 --> 00:14:47,220 You agreed to pay for half. 153 00:14:47,293 --> 00:14:48,988 - Did I? - Yeah. 154 00:14:49,729 --> 00:14:51,697 - Oh, right. - Yeah, so... 155 00:14:53,233 --> 00:14:55,224 Yeah, well, I don't have it on me, Daniel. 156 00:14:55,301 --> 00:14:57,792 I can get it to you in a few months. 157 00:14:57,871 --> 00:14:59,930 In a few months? Robert, I need it now. I need the money now. 158 00:15:00,006 --> 00:15:01,940 Yeah, well, that's not gonna happen, is it? 'Cause I'm totally skint. 159 00:15:02,008 --> 00:15:04,101 What do you mean you're skint? 160 00:15:04,177 --> 00:15:06,338 You're a successful novelist. You live in New York. 161 00:15:06,413 --> 00:15:08,404 You've got a penthouse apartment in New York. What do you mean? 162 00:15:08,481 --> 00:15:10,471 Yeah, and do you have any idea how much it costs for the upkeep? 163 00:15:10,549 --> 00:15:13,916 Besides which, I've just had to lay out a fortune for the flight over here. 164 00:15:13,986 --> 00:15:16,750 Do you know how much they're charging for first class nowadays? 165 00:15:16,822 --> 00:15:18,949 It's a fucking disgrace! 166 00:15:21,427 --> 00:15:24,362 - So, poor old Uncle Eddie, eh? - Yeah. 167 00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:25,622 Yes. 168 00:15:25,698 --> 00:15:28,360 Did you ever meet Uncle Eddie, Simon? 169 00:15:28,867 --> 00:15:30,164 Simon? 170 00:15:30,836 --> 00:15:33,327 Was there a dog in here just now? 171 00:15:33,572 --> 00:15:34,869 What? 172 00:15:36,075 --> 00:15:38,703 I'm sure there was a dog in here. 173 00:15:38,911 --> 00:15:41,539 What the hell are you talking about? 174 00:15:59,864 --> 00:16:02,492 There's just nowhere to park. 175 00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:05,260 - This is ridiculous. - How about over there? 176 00:16:05,336 --> 00:16:07,531 That guy's coming out over there. 177 00:16:07,605 --> 00:16:08,765 - Oh, right. - Take it, take it! 178 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,102 All right! 179 00:16:10,174 --> 00:16:11,163 What are you doing? 180 00:16:13,111 --> 00:16:15,045 Are you mental? 181 00:16:18,850 --> 00:16:20,112 Sorry. 182 00:16:20,384 --> 00:16:23,012 Excuse me? Hi, sorry. Oh, hi, Martha. 183 00:16:23,087 --> 00:16:27,682 - I was just about to park there, actually. - Yeah, well, are you a relative, Howard? 184 00:16:27,758 --> 00:16:30,192 - No, I'm not, but... - Hey, Martha. 185 00:16:31,695 --> 00:16:33,094 Who's that? 186 00:16:41,972 --> 00:16:43,269 - What's happening? - Did you see that? 187 00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:44,534 She barely even looked at me. 188 00:16:44,608 --> 00:16:46,166 I said, what's happening? Are we there? 189 00:16:46,243 --> 00:16:48,336 Oh, my God, we've got Uncle Alfie in the car. 190 00:16:48,411 --> 00:16:51,847 I cannot believe I forgot to say we've got Uncle Alfie in the car. 191 00:16:53,016 --> 00:16:56,179 - All right! Keep your hair on! - What the hell's going on? 192 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,254 She barely even looked. 193 00:17:08,564 --> 00:17:11,829 It's very green here, isn't it? It's very... 194 00:17:12,401 --> 00:17:14,494 - It's green! - Simon. 195 00:17:15,504 --> 00:17:18,667 - What the hell is the matter with you? - What do you mean? 196 00:17:18,741 --> 00:17:23,405 All this talking about phantom dogs and things being green. What's going on? 197 00:17:23,746 --> 00:17:25,236 I don't know. 198 00:17:30,486 --> 00:17:31,578 Wow! 199 00:17:35,191 --> 00:17:36,488 Martha, 200 00:17:37,226 --> 00:17:41,185 - is Simon normally like this? - Of course he's not normally like this. 201 00:17:41,263 --> 00:17:43,197 Something's not right. 202 00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:45,962 Hello. 203 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:56,040 Oh, I think it must be the Valium. 204 00:17:56,110 --> 00:17:57,702 - Valium? - Yeah. 205 00:17:58,613 --> 00:18:00,979 I gave him a Valium from your flat. 206 00:18:01,049 --> 00:18:03,517 I think he's just not used to it. 207 00:18:04,285 --> 00:18:05,650 Oh, right. 208 00:18:09,457 --> 00:18:11,721 Do you want to get any closer? 209 00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:13,124 You're going the wrong way. 210 00:18:14,262 --> 00:18:15,889 Stop the car, Howard. I need to speak to Martha. 211 00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,158 - What? - I need to speak to her. 212 00:18:17,232 --> 00:18:19,200 I need to speak to Martha. 213 00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:22,293 What about Alfie? I need help with Uncle Alfie. 214 00:18:22,370 --> 00:18:25,430 - We're gonna be late! - Ow! Could you please stop doing that? 215 00:18:33,247 --> 00:18:36,739 Thank you very much for coming. It's lovely to see you. It won't be long. 216 00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:40,382 It's weird being back here. I feel so out of it. 217 00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:43,355 Well, it's because you're living in a different country, you lose touch. 218 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:47,985 Who are these people, anyway? I don't even recognize any of them. 219 00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,393 Who the hell's that guy? 220 00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:53,196 I have no idea. It's probably a friend of Dad's from work or something. 221 00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:57,033 So listen, you're telling me that I have to pay for this entire funeral? 222 00:18:57,104 --> 00:19:01,632 - I can't draw money out of thin air, Daniel. - Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! 223 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:05,371 - Daniel, how's everything going? - Fine, thanks, Reverend Davidson. 224 00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:07,605 We're just waiting for everyone to arrive, then we can get started. 225 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,341 Great. Thank you. 226 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:13,110 - Have you met my brother Robert? - The writer, of course. 227 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:16,720 It's a pleasure to meet you. I've read several of your novels. 228 00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:19,758 - Really? - You must be very proud of your brother. 229 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:23,317 - Yes, very proud. - And will you be making the eulogy today? 230 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,990 No, Daniel will be doing the eulogy. 231 00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,528 Great. 232 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,894 I'll just make sure I have everything I need. 233 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,072 Listen, I think you should do the eulogy. 234 00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,738 Everyone's expecting you to do it, and I'll just make a mess of it, anyway. 235 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,440 Don't be silly. You'll be... 236 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,007 You'll be fine. 237 00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:49,549 - All these can go through now. - How's my little sister? 238 00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:53,523 Just very sad. He was a wonderful husband, wasn't he? 239 00:19:53,591 --> 00:19:57,550 - So attentive. So devoted. - Can I get you a cup of tea, Sandra? 240 00:19:57,629 --> 00:20:01,588 Tea can do many things, Jane, but it can't bring back the dead. 241 00:20:07,405 --> 00:20:09,134 "My father was an exceptional man..." 242 00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:12,233 "My father... My father was an exceptional man." 243 00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:14,972 Daniel, have you called yet about the deposit? 244 00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:16,741 - No, I haven't yet, no. - Why don't you give me the number, 245 00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:18,248 and I could do it? 246 00:20:18,316 --> 00:20:21,308 Jane, don't make it obvious, but you see that guy standing by the table? 247 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,650 See? Do you recognize him at all? He's really staring at me. 248 00:20:24,722 --> 00:20:27,816 Are you listening to me at all? We have to put the deposit on that flat 249 00:20:27,891 --> 00:20:30,985 - before it's too late. You understand? - I know. 250 00:20:31,061 --> 00:20:32,426 All right. 251 00:20:43,073 --> 00:20:45,598 - Come on, get on with it. - I am. 252 00:20:46,677 --> 00:20:48,838 You'll break it. 253 00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:51,047 Hurry up, we're late. 254 00:20:51,949 --> 00:20:53,211 Oh, God! 255 00:20:54,752 --> 00:20:57,346 "My father was an exceptional man." 256 00:20:58,288 --> 00:21:01,348 My God, that Katie's grown up a bit, hasn't she? 257 00:21:01,425 --> 00:21:02,824 - What? - Katie. 258 00:21:02,893 --> 00:21:05,918 She was like a little girl when I left, and now she's... 259 00:21:06,029 --> 00:21:09,624 She's fit. I might go and have a chat with her. 260 00:21:09,699 --> 00:21:11,860 Yeah, why don't you do that? 261 00:21:13,770 --> 00:21:16,068 "My father was an exceptional man." 262 00:21:16,139 --> 00:21:18,004 Hello there. 263 00:21:18,074 --> 00:21:19,336 Hello. 264 00:21:20,843 --> 00:21:23,676 I was really sorry to hear about your father. 265 00:21:23,746 --> 00:21:24,735 Mmm. 266 00:21:25,281 --> 00:21:28,910 He always talked about you, said you were a good son. 267 00:21:29,118 --> 00:21:30,483 Thank you. 268 00:21:31,687 --> 00:21:34,383 Did he ever mention me? Peter. 269 00:21:34,891 --> 00:21:37,587 Peter? No, I don't think so. Were you friends with Dad? 270 00:21:37,660 --> 00:21:38,649 Mmm-hmm. 271 00:21:39,462 --> 00:21:42,920 Well, okay. Nice to meet you, and thank you for coming. 272 00:21:48,370 --> 00:21:50,770 Come on. Put your back into it. 273 00:21:50,839 --> 00:21:52,306 Jesus! 274 00:21:54,376 --> 00:21:58,005 - Push the bloody thing! - I am pushing. 275 00:21:59,948 --> 00:22:02,178 "My father was an exceptional man. He was born..." 276 00:22:02,250 --> 00:22:05,344 Daniel, I really think we should be calling everyone in now 277 00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:07,183 - to start the service. - Sure. 278 00:22:07,255 --> 00:22:09,780 Really, I'm only supposed to be here until 3:00. 279 00:22:09,858 --> 00:22:12,292 Sure. Do you mind though if we wait just five minutes for my Uncle Alfie? 280 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:13,850 We really shouldn't start without him, if possible. 281 00:22:13,929 --> 00:22:16,090 Of course, of course. 282 00:22:21,670 --> 00:22:22,659 I'll go... 283 00:22:30,344 --> 00:22:31,470 Look. 284 00:22:32,246 --> 00:22:34,009 Isn't it beautiful? 285 00:22:35,282 --> 00:22:37,716 Martha, could I have a word? Excuse me. 286 00:22:37,918 --> 00:22:41,081 - What? What is it? - Okay, I have to tell you something. 287 00:22:41,155 --> 00:22:44,556 And I warn you in advance, you're not gonna like it. 288 00:22:45,159 --> 00:22:46,786 Good to see you. Thank you for coming as well. 289 00:22:46,861 --> 00:22:49,887 - Daniel. Hello, Robert. - Hello, Uncle Victor. 290 00:22:50,431 --> 00:22:52,956 - Uncle Victor, how are you? - Well... 291 00:22:54,135 --> 00:22:56,069 - Sad day. - Yeah. 292 00:22:56,170 --> 00:22:59,606 - So, how are things in New York? - Great. Really good, yeah. 293 00:22:59,673 --> 00:23:03,108 What's all this nonsense I hear about you not doing the eulogy? 294 00:23:03,176 --> 00:23:06,942 - That's right. Daniel's gonna do the eulogy. - Well, that's a damn shame. 295 00:23:07,013 --> 00:23:09,311 I mean, I'm sure Daniel will be fine, 296 00:23:09,382 --> 00:23:12,715 but after all, you are the writer in the family. 297 00:23:13,186 --> 00:23:15,654 Will you just excuse me a second? 298 00:23:16,456 --> 00:23:19,050 So, any new books coming out? 299 00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:21,593 - I'll just get my things together. - Sure. 300 00:23:21,661 --> 00:23:23,185 You all right? 301 00:23:23,263 --> 00:23:26,528 Every single bloody person wants Robert to do the eulogy. 302 00:23:26,599 --> 00:23:29,830 He was my father, too, wasn't he? I'm just as entitled to do the bloody eulogy. 303 00:23:29,903 --> 00:23:32,667 Yes, of course you are. Of course you are. 304 00:23:32,739 --> 00:23:35,833 And it's going to be the best bloody eulogy anybody's ever heard. 305 00:23:35,909 --> 00:23:39,640 Did you hear? Apparently, Robert won't be doing the eulogy. 306 00:23:43,749 --> 00:23:46,684 - What did you just say? - I said the Valium you gave to Simon 307 00:23:46,752 --> 00:23:49,516 wasn't actually Valium. 308 00:23:49,588 --> 00:23:52,955 It's an hallucinogenic concoction. 309 00:23:53,025 --> 00:23:56,620 You know, stuff like acid, mescaline, a little ketamine. 310 00:23:56,695 --> 00:23:57,992 This isn't funny, Troy. 311 00:23:58,063 --> 00:24:01,032 I'm not being funny. Look at him. He's off his tits! 312 00:24:03,235 --> 00:24:05,795 You absolute little twat! 313 00:24:05,904 --> 00:24:08,031 What the hell are you doing leaving this stuff around your flat? 314 00:24:08,106 --> 00:24:09,403 I didn't know someone was gonna take it, did I? 315 00:24:09,474 --> 00:24:11,533 Who just goes into someone else's flat and takes random pills? 316 00:24:11,610 --> 00:24:13,669 They were in a Valium bottle. 317 00:24:14,980 --> 00:24:16,743 Fuck, Troy! 318 00:24:16,815 --> 00:24:19,613 What the hell am I meant to do? Should I tell him? 319 00:24:19,685 --> 00:24:23,176 No! Don't do that. It'll just freak him out completely. 320 00:24:23,254 --> 00:24:25,279 I think we should just keep a very close eye on him. 321 00:24:25,356 --> 00:24:26,846 Make sure he doesn't get out of control. 322 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:30,416 And don't let him spend too long talking to one person. 323 00:24:31,195 --> 00:24:32,184 Shit. 324 00:24:48,446 --> 00:24:50,346 Hey, Dad, how are you doing? 325 00:24:50,414 --> 00:24:51,881 - You're late. - Hey, Dad. 326 00:24:51,949 --> 00:24:56,079 - Hi, Troy. You missing university today? - Yeah, not to worry, though. I'll catch up. 327 00:24:56,153 --> 00:25:00,851 I know, I'm not worried about you. I see you've brought your friend along. 328 00:25:00,924 --> 00:25:05,293 His name's Simon. Simon. And of course I brought him along, he's my boyfriend. 329 00:25:05,362 --> 00:25:08,160 Martha. So good to see you. 330 00:25:08,231 --> 00:25:11,325 I'm so sorry, Aunt Sandra. We're gonna miss Uncle Edward terribly. 331 00:25:11,401 --> 00:25:13,130 - Thank you. - He was a great guy. 332 00:25:13,203 --> 00:25:15,171 Yes. Yes, he was. Thank you, Troy. 333 00:25:15,238 --> 00:25:18,298 Simon, this is my... 334 00:25:18,375 --> 00:25:20,935 I'm so sorry about the death. 335 00:25:23,513 --> 00:25:26,539 I'm so sorry. 336 00:25:27,183 --> 00:25:29,481 - Thank you. - And everything. 337 00:25:29,552 --> 00:25:31,110 Come on, Simon. 338 00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:47,364 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know. 339 00:25:47,436 --> 00:25:51,736 I can't leave, can I? Aunt Sandra'll never speak to me again. Oh, shit! 340 00:25:54,143 --> 00:25:55,735 Hey, Martha. 341 00:26:12,795 --> 00:26:16,231 - Hey, you look nice. - I'm dressed for a funeral. 342 00:26:16,298 --> 00:26:18,198 Yeah, but still. 343 00:26:18,801 --> 00:26:22,133 So, I heard about the engagement. What's that about? 344 00:26:22,537 --> 00:26:25,267 Who told you that? I haven't even told my dad. 345 00:26:25,340 --> 00:26:27,365 Is that the guy you're gonna marry? 346 00:26:27,442 --> 00:26:30,673 You're gonna spend the rest of your life with him? 347 00:26:30,945 --> 00:26:32,606 Yep, that's him. 348 00:26:38,052 --> 00:26:41,852 - Simon? - Martha. Martha. 349 00:26:41,923 --> 00:26:43,982 You're slow. Come on! 350 00:26:47,362 --> 00:26:50,798 - Any chance of a hand, Justin? - Hey, lift it, lift it! 351 00:26:51,165 --> 00:26:53,690 Lift it. Lift it. You got to lift it. 352 00:26:53,768 --> 00:26:58,137 Hi, Daniel. Actually, there's something I really wanted to talk to you about 353 00:26:58,206 --> 00:27:00,036 - when you have a moment. - Okay, that's great. 354 00:27:00,107 --> 00:27:01,131 Do you mind if we do it later, though? 355 00:27:01,208 --> 00:27:02,869 'Cause my Uncle Alfie's just arrived and I... 356 00:27:03,110 --> 00:27:04,407 Sure. 357 00:27:05,879 --> 00:27:07,039 Up! 358 00:27:08,281 --> 00:27:09,578 Come on! 359 00:27:11,385 --> 00:27:12,750 Thank you, Justin. Thank you so much, mate. 360 00:27:12,819 --> 00:27:14,548 Hope it wasn't too much hassle. 361 00:27:14,621 --> 00:27:17,249 - How are you, Uncle Alfie? - Terrible. 362 00:27:31,204 --> 00:27:35,538 Ladies and gentlemen, if you could all kindly take your seats. 363 00:27:35,609 --> 00:27:38,077 We're about to begin the service. 364 00:27:43,082 --> 00:27:44,515 Simon, please. 365 00:27:44,583 --> 00:27:49,282 Move. Move. Don't start yet. Don't start. Move. 366 00:28:36,634 --> 00:28:38,659 Jesus, Howard, you stink! 367 00:28:40,839 --> 00:28:43,569 Family and friends. 368 00:28:43,775 --> 00:28:47,575 Maybe, that's because you left me to deal with Uncle Alfie on my own. 369 00:28:47,645 --> 00:28:51,240 - Not to mention taking all the credit. - Howard, can you please be quiet? 370 00:28:51,316 --> 00:28:54,649 And I'd like to start with a favorite passage of Edward's 371 00:28:54,719 --> 00:28:56,516 from the King James Bible. 372 00:28:56,588 --> 00:29:00,353 It's the First Book of Samuel, Chapter 18. 373 00:29:02,259 --> 00:29:07,287 Actually, Martha, just so you know, we had Uncle Alfie in the car with us, 374 00:29:07,364 --> 00:29:09,992 and you took my parking space, and I had to push him 375 00:29:10,067 --> 00:29:14,060 about half a mile up a hill, by myself, and we almost missed the service. 376 00:29:14,137 --> 00:29:15,468 That was my parking space. 377 00:29:15,539 --> 00:29:17,404 Listen, Howard, if you don't stop poking me on the shoulder, 378 00:29:17,474 --> 00:29:19,738 I am going to take you outside and kick the living shit out of you. 379 00:29:19,810 --> 00:29:21,243 - Do you understand me? - What is going on? 380 00:29:21,311 --> 00:29:22,642 She stole my parking space. 381 00:29:22,713 --> 00:29:24,010 What do you mean she stole your parking space? 382 00:29:24,081 --> 00:29:26,549 This is a funeral. Behave yourself. 383 00:29:28,819 --> 00:29:33,483 "Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, 384 00:29:33,557 --> 00:29:36,526 "because he loved him as his own soul. 385 00:29:37,527 --> 00:29:41,054 "And it came to pass that the soul of Jonathan 386 00:29:41,130 --> 00:29:46,261 "was knit with the soul of David. And Jonathan stripped himself 387 00:29:46,335 --> 00:29:50,431 "of the robe that was upon him and gave it to David, 388 00:29:51,107 --> 00:29:54,406 "and his garments, even to his sword, 389 00:29:54,777 --> 00:29:57,041 "and to his bow, 390 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,544 "and to his girdle." 391 00:30:03,452 --> 00:30:07,616 And now, we'll have a few words from Edward's son, 392 00:30:07,690 --> 00:30:08,987 Daniel. 393 00:30:22,771 --> 00:30:24,500 Hi, everyone. 394 00:30:24,573 --> 00:30:27,133 Thanks to so many of you for coming. 395 00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:30,970 I never realized Dad was so popular. 396 00:30:31,546 --> 00:30:34,037 In fact, it seems like he's got more friends now that he's dead 397 00:30:34,115 --> 00:30:35,844 than when he was alive. 398 00:30:50,865 --> 00:30:53,231 "My father was an exceptional man. 399 00:30:53,301 --> 00:30:57,100 "He was born in 1938, just a year before the war. 400 00:30:57,171 --> 00:30:59,765 "I'll never forget the time when Dad took us to 401 00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:04,368 "the place where he grew up, just near a town called Crawley in Sussex. 402 00:31:05,145 --> 00:31:09,445 "It's changed a lot over the years, what with the expansion of Gatwick airport, 403 00:31:09,516 --> 00:31:12,314 "and it's actually become something of a commuter town now, 404 00:31:12,386 --> 00:31:15,719 "partly because of its proximity to London. 405 00:31:17,157 --> 00:31:21,059 "But at the time when my dad was young, it was really quite pastoral. 406 00:31:21,128 --> 00:31:23,153 "Lots of fields 407 00:31:24,131 --> 00:31:27,589 "and greenery, and Dad would roam around the countryside for hours 408 00:31:27,668 --> 00:31:30,535 "with his close boyhood friend, Bob. 409 00:31:30,604 --> 00:31:34,700 "He told me how they spent their summer days riding their bikes..." 410 00:31:35,109 --> 00:31:38,407 - Did you just see that? - "...through the local cornfields..." 411 00:31:38,478 --> 00:31:41,970 - The coffin, it just moved. - "...and swimming in the lake. 412 00:31:42,048 --> 00:31:43,379 "Dad's..." 413 00:31:43,983 --> 00:31:46,349 I'm telling you, I saw it move. 414 00:31:48,755 --> 00:31:51,451 "Dad's first job was working after school as an apprentice, 415 00:31:53,593 --> 00:31:57,359 - "for an electrician named Mr. Thomson." - There! It happened again! 416 00:31:57,430 --> 00:32:00,866 - Simon, settle down. - I'm telling you, the coffin is moving! 417 00:32:00,933 --> 00:32:03,094 Simon, just calm down. 418 00:32:03,803 --> 00:32:08,001 Please, God, the coffin is moving, I tell you! 419 00:32:09,075 --> 00:32:12,442 - There's someone alive in there! - Simon, where are you going? 420 00:32:13,179 --> 00:32:15,738 What the hell is wrong with you all? 421 00:32:15,814 --> 00:32:18,009 - Don't you look at me like that! - Simon. 422 00:32:18,083 --> 00:32:21,644 Can't you see? Open your eyes! 423 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:26,419 There's someone moving around in there! Can't you see? 424 00:32:26,491 --> 00:32:28,254 - Simon! - What are you doing? 425 00:32:28,326 --> 00:32:31,295 Simon, stop that! Simon, don't touch that! 426 00:32:31,363 --> 00:32:32,853 - What are you doing? - I'm going to let you out! 427 00:32:32,931 --> 00:32:34,489 What are you doing? 428 00:32:36,068 --> 00:32:37,592 Oh, God! 429 00:32:44,342 --> 00:32:46,902 Mum, it's all right, it's all right. 430 00:32:52,851 --> 00:32:54,284 It's okay. 431 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,912 Put the kettle on. All right, Mum, all right. 432 00:32:59,523 --> 00:33:01,457 All right. Help me. 433 00:33:03,994 --> 00:33:07,395 That was unbelievable, wasn't it? All right. 434 00:33:08,065 --> 00:33:11,296 If you'd all like to have some lovely tea and cake, 435 00:33:11,535 --> 00:33:14,163 we'll get back to you as soon as we can. 436 00:33:17,875 --> 00:33:20,207 - What the fuck was that about? - Daniel, I am so sorry. 437 00:33:20,277 --> 00:33:22,472 - I'm so sorry. - The coffin was moving. 438 00:33:22,546 --> 00:33:25,572 Just go back inside and I'll explain later. I am so sorry. 439 00:33:25,649 --> 00:33:30,086 - There was a definite scratching sound. - Sorry. Oh, God, please, please. 440 00:33:31,355 --> 00:33:32,947 - Are you all right? - No. 441 00:33:33,023 --> 00:33:35,456 No, I haven't made the call about the deposit yet. 442 00:33:38,194 --> 00:33:39,559 I'll kill him! 443 00:33:39,629 --> 00:33:42,427 - Just calm down. - I'm going to kill him! 444 00:33:43,133 --> 00:33:44,361 - Dad, leave it. - Leave it? 445 00:33:44,434 --> 00:33:46,527 - He's completely wrecked the funeral! - It wasn't his fault. 446 00:33:46,603 --> 00:33:48,571 What do you mean it wasn't his fault? 447 00:33:48,638 --> 00:33:50,902 Your Aunt Sandra is in tatters. 448 00:33:50,974 --> 00:33:53,807 I want him out of here right this minute. Is that clear? 449 00:33:53,877 --> 00:33:58,109 Tell me you will have nothing to do with that ridiculous man ever again. 450 00:33:58,181 --> 00:33:59,512 I'm sorry. 451 00:33:59,582 --> 00:34:02,244 No, I can't do that. 452 00:34:02,318 --> 00:34:03,910 Why not? 453 00:34:04,621 --> 00:34:07,385 Because we're moving in together. 454 00:34:07,457 --> 00:34:09,118 Dear God. 455 00:34:09,192 --> 00:34:12,161 Have you completely lost your senses? 456 00:34:12,228 --> 00:34:13,626 He isn't actually like this. 457 00:34:13,695 --> 00:34:17,028 He had some drugs and they made him act all weird. 458 00:34:17,099 --> 00:34:20,364 Drugs? What drugs? 459 00:34:25,007 --> 00:34:28,465 He took some Valium and he had a bad reaction. 460 00:34:31,713 --> 00:34:33,681 - Valium? - Yeah. 461 00:34:40,389 --> 00:34:42,687 We'll talk about this later. 462 00:34:50,098 --> 00:34:52,191 - Simon. - Martha. 463 00:34:52,267 --> 00:34:53,631 Yeah, okay. Come and sit down. 464 00:34:54,135 --> 00:34:56,729 Thank you, Janet, I appreciate that. That's for sure. 465 00:34:56,804 --> 00:34:59,432 - All right, mate? - Hey. Hello, mate. 466 00:34:59,907 --> 00:35:01,204 That was awful. Wasn't it? 467 00:35:01,275 --> 00:35:03,368 Landing in front of your mum like that like a dead trout. 468 00:35:03,444 --> 00:35:06,311 - Yeah, Howard, please. Come on. - Yeah, sorry. 469 00:35:06,380 --> 00:35:10,407 It's just... You just never know when it's gonna happen to you. 470 00:35:10,484 --> 00:35:15,114 That's all. It's like with me, I've got... It's like a weird patch of skin. 471 00:35:15,189 --> 00:35:17,851 I've had that a couple of weeks. I've absolutely no idea what that is. 472 00:35:17,925 --> 00:35:20,553 Why don't you show it to my Uncle Victor? You know, he's a doctor. 473 00:35:20,628 --> 00:35:21,925 Yes. 474 00:35:23,898 --> 00:35:25,160 Hello. 475 00:35:26,133 --> 00:35:27,862 I swear I saw it moving. 476 00:35:28,102 --> 00:35:31,936 I saw it moving. No one else saw. No one else saw. 477 00:35:32,006 --> 00:35:34,838 I swear I saw it moving. I must be going mad. 478 00:35:34,908 --> 00:35:37,570 Why are my hands so big? 479 00:35:37,644 --> 00:35:41,341 Simon, listen to me. I need to tell you something. 480 00:35:42,983 --> 00:35:46,146 You know I gave you some Valium earlier? 481 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,548 - Yes. - Well, 482 00:35:50,090 --> 00:35:56,256 it turns out that it wasn't actually Valium at all. 483 00:35:57,731 --> 00:35:59,289 Mmm-hmm. 484 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,925 - Can you hear me? - Hello? 485 00:36:03,303 --> 00:36:05,294 - Do you think we can start again now? - I believe we can, yes. 486 00:36:05,372 --> 00:36:08,000 - How are you feeling, Sandra? - Much better, thank you. 487 00:36:09,943 --> 00:36:10,967 Hello, Doctor. 488 00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:13,807 I've got this skin discoloration. I've had it for a couple of weeks now. 489 00:36:13,879 --> 00:36:14,937 It's just not going anywhere. 490 00:36:15,014 --> 00:36:17,744 Now, I know it's just a small patch, but it's weird. 491 00:36:17,816 --> 00:36:18,874 It does look weird, doesn't it? 492 00:36:18,951 --> 00:36:21,215 Victor, I'm going back now. 493 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:23,283 You should probably go and see a dermatologist. 494 00:36:23,355 --> 00:36:25,084 Why, what do you think it is? 495 00:36:25,157 --> 00:36:27,717 Looks like some kind of pigment mutation. 496 00:36:27,793 --> 00:36:28,851 A pigment mutation? 497 00:36:28,928 --> 00:36:32,728 Could be an allergic reaction to shellfish, nuts. 498 00:36:32,798 --> 00:36:34,459 Nuts? What kind of nuts? 499 00:36:34,533 --> 00:36:37,502 I don't know. Peanuts, almonds. Excuse me. 500 00:36:42,675 --> 00:36:44,973 Do you see now? 501 00:36:45,644 --> 00:36:47,305 Yes. 502 00:36:50,182 --> 00:36:52,081 Hallucinogenic. 503 00:36:57,889 --> 00:37:01,450 Now, my advice is to relax and just go with the flow. 504 00:37:01,526 --> 00:37:03,721 You know, try and enjoy it. 505 00:37:03,795 --> 00:37:05,228 You! 506 00:37:06,497 --> 00:37:07,555 Simon! 507 00:37:07,632 --> 00:37:12,001 - How long does it last? - I don't know, about eight hours. 508 00:37:12,870 --> 00:37:15,600 - Eight hours of this? - Simon, let go! 509 00:37:15,673 --> 00:37:16,901 You! 510 00:37:18,076 --> 00:37:21,341 - Simon? - Oh, my God, I'm going to be sick! 511 00:37:21,412 --> 00:37:22,674 No. 512 00:37:24,482 --> 00:37:27,781 Simon, come back. Simon. 513 00:37:28,953 --> 00:37:31,443 - Hey, listen, Martha... - Simon! 514 00:37:32,789 --> 00:37:35,724 Excuse me, sorry, he's going to be sick. Excuse me. 515 00:37:35,792 --> 00:37:38,420 Sorry, mind out, mind out. He's gonna be sick. 516 00:37:39,129 --> 00:37:41,427 Come up here. Quick. 517 00:37:46,269 --> 00:37:48,567 Do you want me... Simon? 518 00:37:52,342 --> 00:37:54,139 Simon, are you okay? 519 00:37:55,278 --> 00:37:56,540 Simon? 520 00:37:57,114 --> 00:37:59,082 Simon, let me in. 521 00:38:01,651 --> 00:38:03,516 - Simon. - Martha. 522 00:38:04,254 --> 00:38:07,485 Did you happen to see a pill bottle? Shit! 523 00:38:07,557 --> 00:38:09,047 - Simon? - Right. 524 00:38:09,126 --> 00:38:11,423 - Are you okay? Simon? - Keep it together. 525 00:38:11,494 --> 00:38:13,894 Keep it together. You can do this. 526 00:38:14,030 --> 00:38:16,328 - Simon. - You're Simon Smith. 527 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,761 You're a solicitor. 528 00:38:19,835 --> 00:38:21,700 You're a solicitor. 529 00:38:22,505 --> 00:38:24,996 Eight hours. It's no problem. 530 00:38:25,074 --> 00:38:27,235 - Please, open the door. - Eight hours he said. 531 00:38:27,309 --> 00:38:29,937 - Simon? - Where's my watch? 532 00:38:30,780 --> 00:38:33,305 - Please open the door. - It's already been... 533 00:38:34,350 --> 00:38:36,910 - I took Valium. - Simon, open the door. 534 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,081 - Seven hours to go. - Simon? 535 00:38:40,156 --> 00:38:43,091 God, Jesus, fuck! 536 00:38:43,159 --> 00:38:44,285 Fuck! 537 00:38:44,860 --> 00:38:46,885 It's nothing to worry about. It's fine. 538 00:38:46,962 --> 00:38:48,452 Jesus fuck! 539 00:38:49,098 --> 00:38:51,088 Grief does strange things to people, doesn't it? 540 00:38:51,166 --> 00:38:53,191 Yeah. Yeah. 541 00:38:53,268 --> 00:38:55,600 If you remember, I had something I wanted to talk to you about. 542 00:38:55,670 --> 00:38:57,228 Oh, yes, yes. 543 00:38:57,305 --> 00:38:59,239 - Is there someplace quiet we can go? - Sure. 544 00:39:27,469 --> 00:39:29,402 - Are you writing a book? - Yes. 545 00:39:29,470 --> 00:39:31,631 - Like your brother. - Well, different from my brother, but... 546 00:39:31,705 --> 00:39:33,730 - He's a great writer, isn't he? - Yes, he is. 547 00:39:33,807 --> 00:39:35,297 So, anyway? 548 00:39:35,375 --> 00:39:39,903 Yes, actually, I have some photos I wanted to show you. 549 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:41,377 Okay. 550 00:39:41,615 --> 00:39:43,583 - May I? - Sure. 551 00:39:46,153 --> 00:39:50,055 We became quite close, your father and I, in the last few months. 552 00:39:50,124 --> 00:39:51,989 Ended up spending quite a lot of time together. 553 00:39:52,059 --> 00:39:53,287 Right. 554 00:39:53,727 --> 00:39:56,287 Here's me and your father in Regent's Park. 555 00:39:56,363 --> 00:39:57,523 Oh, yeah. 556 00:39:57,598 --> 00:40:01,364 Here we are on top of one of those London buses. 557 00:40:01,435 --> 00:40:03,232 It's a terrible picture of me. 558 00:40:03,303 --> 00:40:07,364 - So, where did you and my dad meet? - Just around. 559 00:40:11,210 --> 00:40:12,370 Hello? 560 00:40:12,945 --> 00:40:14,207 Simon. 561 00:40:15,681 --> 00:40:16,705 Are you all right? 562 00:40:16,782 --> 00:40:19,512 Wow. Yes. 563 00:40:20,052 --> 00:40:25,649 Yes, yes. Keep coming. You, join the others. 564 00:40:26,259 --> 00:40:29,956 Join the others. Oh, you. 565 00:40:30,963 --> 00:40:37,425 Oh, here, yes. Here we are at a fancy costume party in Kensington. 566 00:40:37,503 --> 00:40:41,132 That's your dad dressed up as a Roman centurion. 567 00:40:49,114 --> 00:40:51,344 Sorry, in what capacity were you actually friends with my dad? 568 00:40:51,416 --> 00:40:54,908 I mean, I don't mean to be... But he never mentioned you to me. 569 00:40:54,986 --> 00:40:59,650 And yet you have all these pictures where you're going around like you're... 570 00:41:29,119 --> 00:41:32,316 Oh, God. Oh, my God. No. 571 00:41:35,359 --> 00:41:37,827 Now, I know this must come as quite a shock to you. 572 00:41:37,895 --> 00:41:40,420 I'm sure he would have told you himself, 573 00:41:40,497 --> 00:41:43,364 but I guess he wasn't sure how you'd react. 574 00:41:43,434 --> 00:41:45,095 - Does my mother know about this? - No. 575 00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:46,397 - No. - No, no. 576 00:41:46,470 --> 00:41:49,496 And there's really no reason why she should find out. 577 00:41:49,573 --> 00:41:52,303 Just as long as I get what's owed to me. 578 00:41:52,810 --> 00:41:53,902 What? 579 00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:57,203 Well, I think I deserve something. 580 00:41:58,115 --> 00:42:00,743 I mean, your father and I were lovers. 581 00:42:01,619 --> 00:42:04,679 No, he left me absolutely nothing in his will. 582 00:42:05,823 --> 00:42:08,052 How do you think that makes me feel? 583 00:42:08,124 --> 00:42:11,116 I'll tell you how that makes me feel. Cheap. 584 00:42:11,794 --> 00:42:13,455 Like a cheap slut. 585 00:42:14,230 --> 00:42:16,755 Don't you think I deserve something? 586 00:42:16,966 --> 00:42:18,593 What do you want? 587 00:42:19,602 --> 00:42:23,038 Well, I think about �15,000 should do it. 588 00:42:23,873 --> 00:42:25,397 �15,000? 589 00:42:26,042 --> 00:42:29,341 - I'm supposed to be buying a flat. - Well, that's up to you. 590 00:42:29,412 --> 00:42:31,175 Hang on, you hang on a minute. 591 00:42:31,247 --> 00:42:33,010 You think you can come in here and show me 592 00:42:33,082 --> 00:42:36,347 a few pictures of you and my dad on a bus and that counts as proof? 593 00:42:36,419 --> 00:42:39,013 That's not fucking proof of anything. 594 00:42:40,223 --> 00:42:41,690 What is that? 595 00:42:42,225 --> 00:42:43,692 Oh, Jesus! 596 00:42:44,427 --> 00:42:48,021 Now, I don't want to, but I will go out there 597 00:42:48,096 --> 00:42:50,394 and I will show these photographs to every single person. 598 00:42:50,465 --> 00:42:52,899 Do you really want me to do that? 599 00:42:56,338 --> 00:42:59,068 You wait here. Wait here. 600 00:43:02,844 --> 00:43:06,302 Daniel, I was just telling George here how when we were boys together, 601 00:43:06,381 --> 00:43:10,681 your dad used to love to make us all go skinny-dipping. 602 00:43:14,589 --> 00:43:16,318 I think she's fine. 603 00:43:27,335 --> 00:43:30,099 Simon, open the door. 604 00:43:31,972 --> 00:43:33,837 Anything I can do to help? 605 00:43:33,908 --> 00:43:36,934 - Not really, thanks. - You got it all under control? 606 00:43:37,511 --> 00:43:38,808 Simon? 607 00:43:39,780 --> 00:43:42,476 So what are you doing next weekend? I've got a couple of tickets... 608 00:43:42,550 --> 00:43:44,484 Look, Justin, I've got a lot on my plate right now, 609 00:43:44,552 --> 00:43:45,678 and I just can't deal with your shit. 610 00:43:45,753 --> 00:43:49,689 Now, can you please just go away? Please? 611 00:43:52,993 --> 00:43:54,620 Simon? 612 00:43:59,066 --> 00:44:01,330 - Hi, Robert. Can I talk to you for a second? - Not now. 613 00:44:01,402 --> 00:44:03,927 - Just give me five minutes. - It's important. It's ever so important. 614 00:44:04,004 --> 00:44:05,937 - Excuse me. - Okay. 615 00:44:06,406 --> 00:44:08,567 - What are you doing? - Robert, listen. 616 00:44:13,713 --> 00:44:17,979 You know that guy from before that we didn't recognize? That little guy, 617 00:44:18,051 --> 00:44:20,986 you know, the short guy, yeah? I've just been with him in the study. 618 00:44:21,354 --> 00:44:25,484 - Yeah? - And he showed me these pictures. 619 00:44:26,292 --> 00:44:28,192 - Yeah? Right. - Of him and dad. 620 00:44:29,529 --> 00:44:33,124 - Of him and dad together. - Right. 621 00:44:33,466 --> 00:44:35,229 Of him and Dad together at parties in Kensington. 622 00:44:35,301 --> 00:44:36,768 Look, Daniel, is this going anywhere? 623 00:44:36,836 --> 00:44:41,432 - For God's sake, he was shagging dad! - Fuck off! 624 00:44:45,344 --> 00:44:47,369 - Are you shitting me? - No, I'm not shitting you, I'm telling you. 625 00:44:47,446 --> 00:44:49,937 He showed me the pictures. I feel sick. 626 00:44:50,015 --> 00:44:54,076 So, wait, wait, what are you saying? That Dad was a gay? 627 00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:55,751 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 628 00:44:57,289 --> 00:44:59,917 - And he was cheating on Mum? - Well, evidently. 629 00:45:00,192 --> 00:45:03,650 - With that little... - Yes. 630 00:45:03,896 --> 00:45:07,195 I know it's a bombshell, but the concern right now is that he wants money. 631 00:45:07,266 --> 00:45:08,563 - What do you mean he wants money? - He wants money. 632 00:45:08,634 --> 00:45:10,829 - He wants �15,000. - Tell him to go and fuck himself! 633 00:45:10,903 --> 00:45:12,803 No, you don't understand. He's got the pictures. 634 00:45:12,871 --> 00:45:14,998 And if we don't give him the money, he's gonna tell everybody here 635 00:45:15,073 --> 00:45:16,540 the most intimate details of their sex life. 636 00:45:16,608 --> 00:45:18,633 I don't wanna hear the most intimate details of their sex life. 637 00:45:18,710 --> 00:45:21,304 Exactly. So what are we gonna do? 638 00:45:22,247 --> 00:45:25,238 - Oh, shit. - Think, then. 639 00:45:26,584 --> 00:45:28,575 Okay, all right. 640 00:45:33,057 --> 00:45:35,992 This is a total fucking waste of time. I don't know why I even bothered. 641 00:45:36,060 --> 00:45:38,290 I got dressed up and everything, you know? 642 00:45:38,362 --> 00:45:40,330 I mean, how could she be more interested in that idiot up there 643 00:45:40,398 --> 00:45:42,229 than she is in me? 644 00:45:42,300 --> 00:45:44,200 I'm telling you, Howard. This world is severely fucked up. 645 00:45:44,268 --> 00:45:45,792 - Sounds really serious, doesn't it? - What? 646 00:45:45,870 --> 00:45:47,963 Pigment mutation. 647 00:45:50,174 --> 00:45:53,109 Oh, will you taste this? I think it's got almonds in it. 648 00:45:53,177 --> 00:45:55,304 - So? - So? Daniel's uncle said I'm allergic 649 00:45:55,379 --> 00:45:56,710 - to almonds. - Well, don't eat it. 650 00:45:56,781 --> 00:45:58,806 Go on, please. Be a mate. Taste it. Tell me what you think. 651 00:45:58,883 --> 00:46:00,783 - No. - Go on, try it. 652 00:46:00,852 --> 00:46:02,843 - I don't want to. - Please. Come on, do me a favor. 653 00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,047 - Can't you just do me a favor? - Please fuck off! 654 00:46:08,492 --> 00:46:10,460 You haven't seen a pill bottle lying around, have you? 655 00:46:10,527 --> 00:46:12,188 Like a Valium pill bottle? 656 00:46:12,262 --> 00:46:14,662 - No. - Shit. Shit. Shit. 657 00:46:26,977 --> 00:46:29,309 Shouldn't be long now. 658 00:46:36,887 --> 00:46:39,981 - Shall we go inside? - In a minute. 659 00:46:47,663 --> 00:46:49,290 Doctor, you know you... 660 00:47:00,743 --> 00:47:05,840 Hello. Sorry about... Well, you know. 661 00:47:06,081 --> 00:47:08,049 - Thank you. - Yeah, sorry. 662 00:47:08,517 --> 00:47:11,953 Oh, God, it must be terrible losing a husband. 663 00:47:12,021 --> 00:47:14,819 Still, you're still so young. Relatively. 664 00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:21,786 Do you think you'll marry again? Probably too soon to say, isn't it? 665 00:47:21,864 --> 00:47:25,492 God, it's just terrible, isn't it, that people die? Awful. 666 00:47:25,567 --> 00:47:28,559 There was a guy that I know, he got stabbed to death. 667 00:47:28,636 --> 00:47:32,094 And he called this guy's mother a moose. The guy just... 668 00:47:32,173 --> 00:47:36,439 Just stabbed him right in the neck, hit like a major artery. 669 00:47:36,511 --> 00:47:40,208 And there was blood, just... You honestly would not believe how much 670 00:47:40,281 --> 00:47:44,547 just spurting absolutely everywhere. And ridiculous thing is 671 00:47:44,619 --> 00:47:46,610 that the guy that did it told the police later 672 00:47:46,688 --> 00:47:49,452 he didn't even know what a moose was. 673 00:47:51,726 --> 00:47:56,629 Has that cake got almonds in it? It's not important, doesn't matter. 674 00:48:00,068 --> 00:48:05,164 - Excuse me. - Mmm. Nice talk. 675 00:48:15,749 --> 00:48:16,909 I just don't think Mum can handle it. 676 00:48:16,984 --> 00:48:18,042 Let me rephrase the question. 677 00:48:18,118 --> 00:48:20,450 What do you mean, you think it's best if I pay him the money? 678 00:48:20,821 --> 00:48:22,550 You've been living off Mum and Dad for long enough. 679 00:48:22,623 --> 00:48:24,614 - You must have some money saved. - I haven't been living... 680 00:48:24,691 --> 00:48:28,525 - I've paid for this entire funeral, Robert. - Now, wait a second. 681 00:48:28,595 --> 00:48:30,620 How do you know this guy isn't bullshitting? 682 00:48:34,901 --> 00:48:36,266 Oh, my God! 683 00:48:39,106 --> 00:48:43,007 - Simon? - Simon. 684 00:48:44,877 --> 00:48:50,281 - Simon? Simon? - Simon. Simon. 685 00:48:52,551 --> 00:48:56,544 - Simon. - Simon. 686 00:48:57,556 --> 00:49:01,014 - Si? - Mon. 687 00:49:10,703 --> 00:49:12,603 I think we're just about ready to resume the service, so... 688 00:49:12,672 --> 00:49:14,401 Would you mind giving us five minutes? 689 00:49:14,473 --> 00:49:16,236 - Of course. - Thanks. 690 00:49:19,311 --> 00:49:22,404 Hey, Danny, what is going on? 691 00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,880 Listen, I'm really, really sorry, but I'm afraid our moving out plans 692 00:49:24,949 --> 00:49:27,110 are gonna have to be put on hold just for a little while. 693 00:49:27,185 --> 00:49:29,176 - What do you mean? Why? - I haven't got time to explain right now, 694 00:49:29,254 --> 00:49:31,313 but you know I wouldn't do this unless I had a really good reason. 695 00:49:31,389 --> 00:49:34,950 - No. What's the reason? - I can't explain right now. Okay. 696 00:49:44,235 --> 00:49:46,135 So you're the blackmailing prick. 697 00:49:47,505 --> 00:49:49,632 Hey, hey, hey, hey. What are you doing with that? 698 00:49:49,708 --> 00:49:51,801 This is my manuscript. This is not ready to be read by anyone. 699 00:49:51,876 --> 00:49:55,175 Well, you shouldn't leave it lying around, Daniel, if you don't want people to read it. 700 00:49:55,246 --> 00:49:58,477 - This is my office! - Guys, can we just get to the point? 701 00:49:58,650 --> 00:50:00,277 Fine by me. 702 00:50:03,921 --> 00:50:06,151 Fine. If I write you this check, okay, that's the end of it. Yes? 703 00:50:06,223 --> 00:50:09,386 You give us the photos, then you stay out of our lives forever, that's the deal, yeah? 704 00:50:09,460 --> 00:50:10,825 That's the deal. 705 00:50:27,511 --> 00:50:30,378 - Is that your first attempt? - What? 706 00:50:30,447 --> 00:50:34,543 - The novel. That's your first novel, isn't it? - Yeah. So? 707 00:50:34,718 --> 00:50:36,185 No, nothing. 708 00:50:37,354 --> 00:50:40,220 I tried writing once. It didn't work for me, either. 709 00:50:41,858 --> 00:50:45,089 I think it's like a gift. You either have it or you don't. 710 00:50:46,462 --> 00:50:50,660 It must be hard for you though, Daniel, living up to your brother's reputation. 711 00:50:50,733 --> 00:50:54,100 You know, always living in the shadow of a sibling like that. 712 00:50:54,704 --> 00:51:01,109 By the way, I read your latest novel. Wow. Really good stuff. 713 00:51:01,878 --> 00:51:03,573 Thanks. 714 00:51:05,381 --> 00:51:07,178 Right, that's it. 715 00:51:08,050 --> 00:51:09,711 Daniel, what the hell are you doing? 716 00:51:09,786 --> 00:51:12,949 There's no way I'm giving this twat a single penny of my money. 717 00:51:13,089 --> 00:51:16,957 - Don't be ridiculous. - No. Why should I? Why should I? 718 00:51:17,026 --> 00:51:19,585 He comes in here on the day of our father's funeral, tries to blackmail us, 719 00:51:19,661 --> 00:51:21,891 and then he slags off my novel. Who does he think he is? 720 00:51:21,997 --> 00:51:24,329 - He has the photos. - Let him show the photos, I don't care. 721 00:51:24,399 --> 00:51:27,596 - Daniel, it'll... - No, Robert, I give up, okay? I give up. 722 00:51:27,669 --> 00:51:31,400 I can't take anymore. If that's what he's gonna do, then fine. Let him do it. 723 00:51:34,409 --> 00:51:36,138 - Fine. - Fine. 724 00:51:36,878 --> 00:51:42,407 - What? Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Please, get out of my way. 725 00:51:42,484 --> 00:51:45,510 - Let's just discuss this a minute. - There is nothing to discuss. 726 00:51:46,922 --> 00:51:50,517 - Get out of my way! Get off! - We can talk about this. 727 00:51:54,162 --> 00:51:55,925 Get up, Daniel! Daniel! 728 00:51:56,131 --> 00:51:57,120 Listen... 729 00:51:57,899 --> 00:51:59,593 What are you doing, Robert? What are you doing? 730 00:51:59,667 --> 00:52:01,726 - Just get some rope or something. - Rope? What do you mean rope? 731 00:52:01,802 --> 00:52:02,996 I haven't got any rope. 732 00:52:03,070 --> 00:52:06,335 Get some cord or something. There, from the curtain. 733 00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:09,767 - Okay, here you go. - Grab his legs. 734 00:52:12,479 --> 00:52:15,380 Oh, God, Jesus Christ, Robert, this is a really bad idea. 735 00:52:15,883 --> 00:52:21,651 Twinkle, twinkle, little star 736 00:52:57,557 --> 00:53:00,492 - Fucking men. - Tell me about it. 737 00:53:01,628 --> 00:53:05,189 - Daniel, get that tie. Just get that tie. - Why? 738 00:53:05,331 --> 00:53:07,128 What am I supposed to do with a tie? 739 00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:08,690 Do you want everybody to know our dad is a poof? 740 00:53:08,768 --> 00:53:10,861 - Of course I don't. - Stuff it in his mouth, then. 741 00:53:10,937 --> 00:53:13,565 - This is ridiculous. - Daniel, you know that cake... 742 00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:16,040 Jesus Christ, Howard. Shut the fucking door! 743 00:53:16,109 --> 00:53:18,167 What's going on? Who's that? 744 00:53:18,243 --> 00:53:20,074 - He's having a fit. - It's a seizure. 745 00:53:20,145 --> 00:53:23,080 Oh, God, really? I've just found some Valium. Would that help? 746 00:53:23,181 --> 00:53:25,877 - Yeah, brilliant. Bring them here. - How many? 747 00:53:25,951 --> 00:53:28,579 - I don't know, a handful. - Really? Okay. 748 00:53:32,090 --> 00:53:33,921 Are they all in? Dropped one. 749 00:53:33,992 --> 00:53:38,088 Here. Open his mouth. It's okay. It's all right. 750 00:53:39,031 --> 00:53:40,896 - You haven't seen a little brown pill bottle. - Shut the door! 751 00:53:40,966 --> 00:53:43,491 Jesus Christ, Howard! I told you to lock the fucking door! 752 00:53:43,568 --> 00:53:45,729 - You said, "Shut the fucking door." - What's going on? 753 00:53:45,804 --> 00:53:49,171 - Oh, he's having a fit. - A fit? Then why is he all tied up? 754 00:53:59,684 --> 00:54:02,676 Hello. Hello. 755 00:54:02,954 --> 00:54:04,353 Hang on, he's blackmailing you over what? 756 00:54:04,422 --> 00:54:06,890 - It's not important right now. - What do you mean it's not important? 757 00:54:06,958 --> 00:54:07,947 - It's personal. - Well, why? 758 00:54:08,025 --> 00:54:10,016 He said it's personal. That's enough. 759 00:54:10,094 --> 00:54:12,221 Just trust us, okay? This is not a good guy, you know. 760 00:54:12,296 --> 00:54:13,991 - We can explain later. - So, what are we gonna do with him? 761 00:54:14,065 --> 00:54:16,898 - I don't know. What are we gonna do? - I don't know. 762 00:54:16,968 --> 00:54:18,435 What do you mean you don't know? 763 00:54:18,502 --> 00:54:20,094 How long are we gonna keep him tied up for? 764 00:54:20,171 --> 00:54:22,901 How long's the Valium gonna last? 765 00:54:22,974 --> 00:54:24,134 - What? - Valium? 766 00:54:24,208 --> 00:54:26,574 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah, I found those Valium. 767 00:54:26,644 --> 00:54:29,340 We gave him a few to calm him down. Thank you. 768 00:54:30,014 --> 00:54:31,379 I think he's all right. 769 00:54:31,449 --> 00:54:34,179 - Oh, fuck! - What? 770 00:54:36,253 --> 00:54:39,483 - What is it? - Oh, fuck! 771 00:54:40,991 --> 00:54:42,185 What? 772 00:54:45,261 --> 00:54:50,289 - What? What? - The thing is, it's not actually Valium. 773 00:54:50,367 --> 00:54:54,064 It's acid, mostly. A little ketamine. Simon took one these by mistake, 774 00:54:54,137 --> 00:54:56,503 - that's why he's been off his box. - What are you doing with this stuff? 775 00:54:56,573 --> 00:54:58,666 - They're for a friend! - Hang on a minute. 776 00:54:58,742 --> 00:55:02,508 You're telling us that Martha's boyfriend, who knocked over our father's coffin, 777 00:55:02,579 --> 00:55:03,944 had just one of these things? 778 00:55:04,014 --> 00:55:05,345 - And you gave him how many? - Five. 779 00:55:05,415 --> 00:55:07,315 - Oh, Howard. - What do you mean, "Oh, Howard"? 780 00:55:07,384 --> 00:55:10,319 - You cannot blame me for this! - Poor bastard. 781 00:55:10,453 --> 00:55:11,442 We should call an ambulance. 782 00:55:11,521 --> 00:55:12,783 You can't do that. I'll be screwed! 783 00:55:12,856 --> 00:55:16,791 He's right. They're gonna turn up and find that he's been force fed with hard drugs. 784 00:55:16,959 --> 00:55:18,221 Well, what's gonna happen? Is he gonna die? 785 00:55:18,293 --> 00:55:19,282 Hmm? 786 00:55:19,528 --> 00:55:22,326 No. Shouldn't think so. 787 00:55:23,732 --> 00:55:25,199 Daniel? 788 00:55:28,170 --> 00:55:29,694 Robert? 789 00:55:30,372 --> 00:55:32,067 Be out in a minute, Mum. 790 00:55:32,174 --> 00:55:33,300 Daniel. 791 00:55:33,375 --> 00:55:37,038 - We need to go outside. - You two stay here and look after him. 792 00:55:39,081 --> 00:55:40,446 Hang on, look after him? 793 00:55:40,516 --> 00:55:42,450 What do you mean look after him? What are we supposed to do? 794 00:55:42,518 --> 00:55:45,749 Just make sure he doesn't escape. Lock the door behind us. 795 00:55:46,822 --> 00:55:49,017 - Daniel? - Hey, Mum. How's it going? 796 00:55:49,091 --> 00:55:50,285 Reverend Davidson needs to speak to you. 797 00:55:50,359 --> 00:55:52,827 We were wondering if we might be able to resume the service now. 798 00:55:52,895 --> 00:55:54,988 Really, I'm only meant to be here until 3:00. 799 00:55:55,064 --> 00:55:58,055 - That's great, but we need to have a chat. - Would you give us another five minutes? 800 00:55:58,132 --> 00:56:00,259 - Sure. - Is there a problem? 801 00:56:02,003 --> 00:56:03,095 Christ. 802 00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:08,565 Why didn't you just pay him the fucking money? 803 00:56:10,178 --> 00:56:11,645 It's your fault. 804 00:56:15,116 --> 00:56:16,549 Where's my tea? 805 00:56:19,554 --> 00:56:23,081 - What's your problem? - Women. 806 00:56:24,926 --> 00:56:30,387 Women, women, women. Let me tell you something about women. 807 00:56:30,465 --> 00:56:34,424 When I was a young man, I used to go out with the most beautiful woman 808 00:56:34,502 --> 00:56:39,165 in the village. I mean, she'd walk into the room and everyone's eyes would turn. 809 00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:41,207 Everyone wanted to fuck her. 810 00:56:41,274 --> 00:56:44,266 And of course she liked the attention, because... 811 00:56:45,946 --> 00:56:47,436 I need a shit. 812 00:56:53,019 --> 00:56:56,045 Shit, I can't believe you gave him five! 813 00:56:56,123 --> 00:56:57,522 Don't blame me for this. 814 00:56:57,591 --> 00:56:59,582 Even if they were Valium, you should never have given him five. 815 00:56:59,659 --> 00:57:01,251 - Don't you know anything? - No, not about giving people... 816 00:57:08,268 --> 00:57:11,760 - Hello? - I need the toilet. 817 00:57:13,273 --> 00:57:16,673 - Can you use the one upstairs? - I'm in a wheelchair, you fucking idiot! 818 00:57:16,742 --> 00:57:21,270 How am I supposed to get up the stairs? Open the door. 819 00:57:21,547 --> 00:57:23,447 Hang on a minute. 820 00:57:23,516 --> 00:57:25,347 What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? 821 00:57:25,417 --> 00:57:26,543 We'll stick him behind the couch. 822 00:57:28,020 --> 00:57:31,581 - Come on, quickly. - Just looking for the key. 823 00:57:31,824 --> 00:57:34,657 Quick! Shut up! 824 00:57:37,663 --> 00:57:39,927 - Hurry up! - Got it! 825 00:57:45,271 --> 00:57:49,139 - Hello. - What the hell is wrong with you people? 826 00:57:50,009 --> 00:57:52,603 I'm about to shit in my trousers. Come on! 827 00:57:55,647 --> 00:57:58,673 - Hey. - Oh, Justin, what do you want? 828 00:57:58,750 --> 00:58:00,377 I just wanna talk to you. 829 00:58:00,451 --> 00:58:02,419 Please don't make me go through this again. 830 00:58:02,487 --> 00:58:05,012 What are you so afraid of, Martha? 831 00:58:05,089 --> 00:58:07,421 I know you feel the same way. You can't fight what we had together. 832 00:58:07,492 --> 00:58:09,551 Justin, it was one night! It was a massive mistake. 833 00:58:09,627 --> 00:58:13,188 I was drunk out of my mind. You could have been a donkey! 834 00:58:13,331 --> 00:58:18,268 - What's this guy got that I don't have? - Okay. Well for one thing, he's responsible. 835 00:58:18,336 --> 00:58:22,932 He's thoughtful. He's intelligent. He's stable. Is that enough for you? 836 00:58:36,117 --> 00:58:38,415 Will you stop making out that this is all my fault. 837 00:58:38,486 --> 00:58:39,976 I'm not the one who attacked the guy and tied him up. 838 00:58:40,054 --> 00:58:42,648 - Someone had to look out for Mum. - I've been looking out for Mum 839 00:58:42,724 --> 00:58:44,191 ever since you disappeared off to New York 840 00:58:44,259 --> 00:58:46,227 to gallivant around with your celebrity friends. 841 00:58:46,294 --> 00:58:50,663 You really are unbelievable. You just can't get over it, can you? 842 00:58:50,732 --> 00:58:53,200 - Get over what? - You're burning with jealousy 843 00:58:53,268 --> 00:58:56,533 because you've just spent three years working on a novel, 844 00:58:56,604 --> 00:58:58,834 - and you won't even let anyone see it. - Why should I? Why should I? 845 00:58:58,907 --> 00:58:59,931 What're you gonna do? 846 00:59:00,008 --> 00:59:03,774 - Are you gonna wait until you're dead... - Rather than just a hack writing pulp... 847 00:59:03,845 --> 00:59:07,110 ...and hope it's published posthumously? ...crap, self-righteously. Least my novel... 848 00:59:07,182 --> 00:59:09,412 - You're a pompous arsehole! - And you are the most selfish... 849 00:59:09,484 --> 00:59:10,746 Daniel? 850 00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:15,186 Daniel, what is going on? This is your father's funeral. 851 00:59:15,255 --> 00:59:19,589 - Not now, Jane. Jane, not now. Not now. - Why are you acting like this? 852 00:59:22,262 --> 00:59:26,323 It's the flat, isn't it? It's the flat. You don't want to go, do you? 853 00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:29,267 - You don't want to leave. - Just tell her, Daniel. 854 00:59:29,336 --> 00:59:31,497 Just tell me what? 855 00:59:35,976 --> 00:59:40,037 Jane, you remember that short man that I pointed out to you earlier? 856 00:59:40,113 --> 00:59:41,102 - Remember the short... - Yeah. 857 00:59:41,181 --> 00:59:43,411 Well, it turns out that he was having an affair with Dad, 858 00:59:43,483 --> 00:59:45,508 and now he's blackmailing us into giving him �15,000, 859 00:59:45,586 --> 00:59:48,350 otherwise he's gonna show everyone pictures of them doing stuff. 860 00:59:48,922 --> 00:59:50,651 - Sex stuff. - Yeah. 861 00:59:52,693 --> 00:59:56,128 - Is this some sort of a sick joke? - No, of course it's not a sick joke. 862 01:00:00,366 --> 01:00:02,357 Your dad was a gay? 863 01:00:02,969 --> 01:00:05,597 - Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. - I am. 864 01:00:06,005 --> 01:00:08,303 It's touch and go. Hurry up. 865 01:00:08,374 --> 01:00:10,501 - Quick, quick, quick! - Give me that. Here. 866 01:00:10,576 --> 01:00:12,874 - Lift, lift. Help me, help me. - All right. I am helping you. 867 01:00:12,945 --> 01:00:14,776 - Put your arms around me then. - Lift me. 868 01:00:15,348 --> 01:00:18,681 Jesus Christ! Fucking hell! You weigh a ton. 869 01:00:18,751 --> 01:00:20,946 - You got me? You got me? - Yes, I've got you. Of course I've got you. 870 01:00:21,020 --> 01:00:22,419 - Quickly, quickly. - All right. 871 01:00:22,488 --> 01:00:25,082 - I'm trying to see where the toilet is. - Now get the trousers down. 872 01:00:25,157 --> 01:00:30,151 - Fuck. No. You do it, I'll hold you. - How can I do it? I'm handicapped! 873 01:00:30,229 --> 01:00:32,992 - Get them down. Get them down. - Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 874 01:00:33,064 --> 01:00:36,659 - Quick! Quick! - I am! Right. Okay. 875 01:00:36,735 --> 01:00:42,765 Underpants. Move! Move! Quick! Quick! It's touch and go! 876 01:00:42,841 --> 01:00:46,038 - Fuck! They're all down! - It's touch and go. Am I there? 877 01:00:46,111 --> 01:00:48,045 - I don't know. Yes! - Am I there? 878 01:00:48,113 --> 01:00:50,547 - Am I there? Are you sure? - Yes. Sit down! Yes! 879 01:00:50,615 --> 01:00:55,211 Just sit down. Sit down. Fuck, hang on, hang on. 880 01:00:55,287 --> 01:00:58,120 That's better. 881 01:01:07,732 --> 01:01:10,326 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - Jesus, how much noise do you wanna... 882 01:01:10,402 --> 01:01:13,427 - Oh, God! - Fucking hell! Fuck! Poo! 883 01:01:15,673 --> 01:01:17,766 Fucking hell! 884 01:01:23,414 --> 01:01:24,403 Howard. 885 01:01:24,949 --> 01:01:26,382 Fuck! Fuck! 886 01:01:26,583 --> 01:01:29,108 - Fucking get it off! - Howard. 887 01:01:29,186 --> 01:01:32,587 - Something, please, get it off! Get it off! - Howard! 888 01:01:32,723 --> 01:01:37,888 - What? What? - You've missed a bit. 889 01:01:42,866 --> 01:01:49,135 Oh, fuck! It's in my mouth! Fucking hell! I'm gonna be sick! 890 01:01:50,774 --> 01:01:54,732 You'll have a lot more to worry about than shit in your mouth if we get caught! 891 01:01:55,011 --> 01:01:57,445 - It's in my mouth! - It's gone. Leave the tap on! 892 01:01:59,215 --> 01:02:02,082 I'm gonna be sick! I'm gonna be sick! Please! Please! 893 01:02:15,498 --> 01:02:18,934 Check him. Touch him or something. Check him. 894 01:02:19,836 --> 01:02:22,100 You all right, mate? 895 01:02:23,573 --> 01:02:24,699 Try it again. 896 01:02:26,809 --> 01:02:30,801 - Mate? Mate? - Wake him up. 897 01:02:31,780 --> 01:02:35,045 - Mate? What's his name? - I don't know. 898 01:02:36,518 --> 01:02:37,951 Try Philip. 899 01:02:46,595 --> 01:02:49,655 - Philip? - Shake him. 900 01:02:54,336 --> 01:02:57,032 Philip? Wake up, mate. You all right? 901 01:02:58,573 --> 01:02:59,562 Philip? 902 01:03:03,945 --> 01:03:09,542 Maybe it's not Philip. Maybe it's something else. Pinch him. 903 01:03:09,618 --> 01:03:11,244 Please, just pinch him. 904 01:03:15,322 --> 01:03:16,448 Mate? 905 01:03:19,794 --> 01:03:22,126 Shit, I don't think he's breathing. 906 01:03:23,798 --> 01:03:24,822 What? 907 01:03:24,899 --> 01:03:27,993 No, he must be breathing, he must be breathing. 908 01:03:40,414 --> 01:03:41,574 Shit! 909 01:03:42,650 --> 01:03:44,811 - Is he all right? - No. 910 01:03:47,221 --> 01:03:48,313 He's fucking dead. 911 01:03:53,526 --> 01:03:55,858 That's it, then, isn't it? We're just gonna have to give him our money. 912 01:03:55,929 --> 01:03:58,329 Well, it's not gonna be quite as simple as that. 913 01:03:58,398 --> 01:03:59,422 Well, why not? 914 01:03:59,499 --> 01:04:02,491 Daniel refused to pay, so now we're completely fucked. 915 01:04:02,569 --> 01:04:04,662 - Just shut up. Just shut up. - What happened? 916 01:04:18,718 --> 01:04:21,619 Hi. Sorry. Thanks. 917 01:04:24,757 --> 01:04:27,123 Hi. Sorry, can I? 918 01:04:30,829 --> 01:04:32,990 Can I just come through? Thank you. 919 01:04:41,974 --> 01:04:44,272 What the hell are you grinning at, Howard? 920 01:04:46,778 --> 01:04:51,306 Wonder if I could ask you two to pop into the study for a second? 921 01:04:55,787 --> 01:04:58,278 - Back soon. - Yeah, okay. 922 01:05:01,927 --> 01:05:03,292 It's Howard. 923 01:05:11,035 --> 01:05:14,095 Hey, Jesus, what's this? What's this? 924 01:05:15,540 --> 01:05:17,201 - Call Uncle Victor. - There's no point. 925 01:05:17,275 --> 01:05:19,766 - What do you mean there's no point? - Look at him. He's stone dead. 926 01:05:24,549 --> 01:05:28,246 - What the hell did you do to him? - We didn't do anything. 927 01:05:28,319 --> 01:05:31,755 - He hit his head on the corner. - He hit his head on the corner? 928 01:05:31,856 --> 01:05:35,417 He hit his head. That's what happened. Why, what do you think happened? 929 01:05:35,493 --> 01:05:38,189 This is really, really bad. This is really, really, really bad. 930 01:05:38,262 --> 01:05:39,490 What are we gonna do? 931 01:05:39,564 --> 01:05:41,691 - Actually, I've really got to go. - You are not going anywhere. 932 01:05:41,766 --> 01:05:43,825 Listen, I cannot go to prison. 933 01:05:43,901 --> 01:05:46,392 Do you have any idea what they do to blokes like me in prison? 934 01:05:47,138 --> 01:05:50,265 - I cannot go to prison. - Howard, just calm down. 935 01:05:59,149 --> 01:06:03,449 Now, nobody here knows who this guy is, right? They don't even know his name. 936 01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:05,715 They probably didn't even notice him. 937 01:06:05,789 --> 01:06:07,620 They didn't notice him? He's four fucking feet tall! 938 01:06:08,792 --> 01:06:12,193 All right, so we just get rid of the body. It's like he came and left. 939 01:06:12,963 --> 01:06:15,989 Let's get rid of the body? What are you talking about? 940 01:06:16,066 --> 01:06:19,035 Look at us. What do we know about getting rid of bodies? 941 01:06:19,102 --> 01:06:22,094 What are you gonna do? Are you gonna throw him out with the rubbish? 942 01:06:24,007 --> 01:06:26,567 Did any of you happen to notice the size of Uncle Eddie's coffin? 943 01:06:29,812 --> 01:06:32,747 Are you suggesting that we bury him with my father? 944 01:06:33,549 --> 01:06:36,450 Why not? I mean, it's not like he's gonna know, is he? 945 01:06:37,720 --> 01:06:39,517 That's not the point. 946 01:06:42,424 --> 01:06:45,860 You have to admit it makes sense, Daniel. Coffin's there. 947 01:06:45,928 --> 01:06:49,329 Hole in the ground's there. He'll be gone. Finished. End of story. 948 01:06:49,398 --> 01:06:52,663 Unless you've got a better suggestion. 949 01:07:03,279 --> 01:07:04,541 No, I mean, come on, look. 950 01:07:04,613 --> 01:07:07,911 I mean, you gotta do whatever it is in life that fires you up the most. 951 01:07:07,982 --> 01:07:11,975 Yes, but maybe I don't consider life anymore as being about me, me, me. 952 01:07:12,053 --> 01:07:15,614 Maybe I've discovered there's something outside of myself that I care about, 953 01:07:15,690 --> 01:07:17,851 and maybe you should too, Justin. 954 01:07:17,925 --> 01:07:21,691 Hey, well, that's a bit harsh, 'cause, look, I mean, I care about you. 955 01:07:21,763 --> 01:07:23,754 No, Justin, you care about you. 956 01:07:23,831 --> 01:07:26,766 You care about me in relation to how I affect you. There's a difference. 957 01:07:26,834 --> 01:07:28,028 Uh-uh. 958 01:07:28,102 --> 01:07:31,435 No, that's not true, Martha. 959 01:07:31,806 --> 01:07:35,264 Justin, I don't know what else I need to tell you. 960 01:07:36,177 --> 01:07:38,236 - I love you, Martha. - No, Justin, you don't. 961 01:07:43,451 --> 01:07:45,385 - Jesus fucking Christ! - Simon! 962 01:07:46,553 --> 01:07:47,713 Simon! 963 01:07:48,455 --> 01:07:51,015 Simon! Simon, what the hell are you doing? 964 01:07:51,091 --> 01:07:53,218 Get back in here and put your clothes on this instant! 965 01:07:53,293 --> 01:07:56,694 - I saw you kissing him. - I wasn't kissing him, I promise you. 966 01:07:56,763 --> 01:07:59,197 What are you doing? We're at a bloody funeral! 967 01:07:59,266 --> 01:08:01,632 - I'll jump. - Simon, don't be silly. 968 01:08:01,702 --> 01:08:04,569 - I'm gonna jump right now, I swear to you! - Don't be silly, Simon. 969 01:08:04,638 --> 01:08:08,005 Don't be silly. Remember, you've got drugs in you. 970 01:08:08,075 --> 01:08:13,138 Just calm down. Simon, look at me. Justin, will you get the fuck out of here? 971 01:08:13,347 --> 01:08:16,874 - Simon, please... - No, I'm going to do it. I'm going... 972 01:08:17,851 --> 01:08:18,875 - Simon, look at me. - I swear I am! 973 01:08:18,952 --> 01:08:22,012 Simon. Please, just calm down. Simon, please. 974 01:08:22,089 --> 01:08:23,852 I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump. 975 01:08:24,358 --> 01:08:28,316 I'm going to jump. I'm going to jump. I'm going to jump! 976 01:08:29,362 --> 01:08:32,126 - This is impossible. We cannot do it. - Just shut up. 977 01:08:32,198 --> 01:08:33,358 Howard? Is that you? 978 01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:36,295 - Shit! - Howard, are you in there? 979 01:08:36,369 --> 01:08:37,358 Yeah. 980 01:08:38,237 --> 01:08:42,799 Quick, get him in the bathroom. You've gotta move the table. 981 01:08:43,542 --> 01:08:44,736 Howard? 982 01:08:50,716 --> 01:08:52,411 - Oh, shit! - What's that? 983 01:08:53,853 --> 01:08:56,287 Howard, what the fuck is Uncle Alfie doing on the toilet? 984 01:08:56,355 --> 01:08:58,516 - I forgot. - How could you forget? 985 01:08:58,591 --> 01:09:01,856 - What is wrong with you? - Open the bloody door. 986 01:09:03,195 --> 01:09:04,560 - What is it? - Hey, Daniel. 987 01:09:04,630 --> 01:09:06,028 - Where's Howard? - I'm here. 988 01:09:06,097 --> 01:09:09,692 Howard, come see this. Simon's totally fucking lost it. 989 01:09:12,670 --> 01:09:14,331 - What's going on? - Nothing. 990 01:09:14,406 --> 01:09:17,671 Listen, Simon's on the roof. He's totally fucking starkers, 991 01:09:17,742 --> 01:09:20,233 - and he's threatening to jump. - Oh, Christ! 992 01:09:20,311 --> 01:09:22,541 - Where are you going? - I have to go out there. 993 01:09:22,614 --> 01:09:25,845 - If he jumps, I'm fucked! - Wait here. 994 01:09:27,585 --> 01:09:29,052 Come on, hurry up. 995 01:09:35,593 --> 01:09:37,527 Simon, you are not going to jump. 996 01:09:37,595 --> 01:09:40,325 No, I'm not listening to you. 997 01:09:40,398 --> 01:09:42,866 Simon, get back in here. 998 01:09:43,835 --> 01:09:46,325 Simon, come inside, we'll have a cup of tea. 999 01:09:46,837 --> 01:09:50,933 - No! - Simon! Simon! 1000 01:09:52,876 --> 01:09:55,538 Simon? Simon? 1001 01:09:57,948 --> 01:09:59,210 Simon? 1002 01:10:05,756 --> 01:10:06,882 Simon! 1003 01:10:06,957 --> 01:10:09,221 Martha! What the hell are you doing? 1004 01:10:09,993 --> 01:10:10,982 Simon! 1005 01:10:13,363 --> 01:10:14,955 Stay there. 1006 01:10:16,767 --> 01:10:17,791 Martha! 1007 01:10:18,936 --> 01:10:19,960 Get down from there! 1008 01:10:23,207 --> 01:10:24,673 - What's happening? - I think I can get rid of this guy, 1009 01:10:24,740 --> 01:10:27,402 but I need you to stay outside and make sure nobody comes in. 1010 01:10:27,477 --> 01:10:28,466 Okay. 1011 01:10:29,545 --> 01:10:30,534 Martha! 1012 01:10:35,718 --> 01:10:37,845 - Who is it? - It's Daniel. Let me in. 1013 01:10:38,087 --> 01:10:40,112 Everyone's in the garden. Quick, we have to move the body now! 1014 01:10:40,223 --> 01:10:41,212 Brilliant. 1015 01:10:46,562 --> 01:10:48,757 Okay. Quick. Quick. 1016 01:10:48,831 --> 01:10:50,822 Howard, Howard, stay here. Make sure no one comes in. 1017 01:10:50,900 --> 01:10:53,027 Okay, okay. 1018 01:10:55,338 --> 01:10:57,932 Hello, Reverend. Hi. Hi. 1019 01:10:58,941 --> 01:11:00,966 How is God today? 1020 01:11:07,849 --> 01:11:09,680 - God, he's a funny one, isn't he? - Excuse me. 1021 01:11:09,751 --> 01:11:11,343 Yeah, okay. I'm sorry. 1022 01:11:12,754 --> 01:11:15,450 Daniel, we have to do this right. 1023 01:11:20,395 --> 01:11:23,387 I just wanted to ask you about religion and how I could become a priest 1024 01:11:23,465 --> 01:11:25,433 if I wanted to, because I've seen you today and you're amazing. 1025 01:11:25,500 --> 01:11:27,127 I'm delighted to hear that. 1026 01:11:28,136 --> 01:11:30,764 Oh, God, we can't leave him like that. 1027 01:11:35,810 --> 01:11:38,210 You know, in a strange way, maybe this is what Dad would have wanted. 1028 01:11:38,280 --> 01:11:40,373 For God's sake, Robert, can you not take anything seriously? 1029 01:11:40,916 --> 01:11:44,544 On Sundays, is it true 1030 01:11:44,618 --> 01:11:48,486 that wine is sweeter? 1031 01:11:50,124 --> 01:11:52,991 - Or not? - Listen, we'll deal with this later on. 1032 01:11:53,060 --> 01:11:55,528 - I need to get to the phone. - Yeah, but... 1033 01:11:58,032 --> 01:11:59,590 Why do you say I can't take anything seriously? 1034 01:11:59,667 --> 01:12:02,329 I'll tell you why. Because you disappear halfway around the world 1035 01:12:02,403 --> 01:12:04,234 without hardly ever coming back to see your parents. 1036 01:12:04,305 --> 01:12:06,865 Because you spend your last remaining money on a first-class plane ticket 1037 01:12:06,941 --> 01:12:08,909 when you know you were supposed to give me half for the funeral. 1038 01:12:08,976 --> 01:12:10,967 And because you live your life like you're on a fairground ride, 1039 01:12:11,045 --> 01:12:12,603 and because you have never, ever, ever 1040 01:12:12,680 --> 01:12:15,012 given a shit about anybody except yourself. 1041 01:12:15,816 --> 01:12:18,614 No one's doing anything about this disturbed young man on the roof. 1042 01:12:18,686 --> 01:12:22,452 I have a confession to make. I have these thoughts about 1043 01:12:22,523 --> 01:12:26,458 - pushing a pen up my bum! - I beg your pardon? 1044 01:12:27,460 --> 01:12:32,762 Simon, this is really dangerous. Please. 1045 01:12:33,366 --> 01:12:37,393 - I saw you. - Stay there. 1046 01:12:53,119 --> 01:12:57,920 You know, I'll never be good enough. 1047 01:12:59,025 --> 01:13:03,723 Not for your dad, not for you. I'll never be rich enough. I'll never be cool enough. 1048 01:13:03,795 --> 01:13:06,559 Simon, stop talking this nonsense and just come inside. 1049 01:13:06,632 --> 01:13:08,725 No, you go back inside! 1050 01:13:08,800 --> 01:13:10,791 - Come with me. - No. Why? 1051 01:13:15,140 --> 01:13:17,574 Because we're gonna have a baby. 1052 01:13:21,480 --> 01:13:22,742 What? 1053 01:13:23,882 --> 01:13:27,045 We're gonna have a child together. 1054 01:13:31,823 --> 01:13:33,017 You're pregnant? 1055 01:13:33,091 --> 01:13:36,026 And I won't be able to do it without you. 1056 01:14:02,987 --> 01:14:05,387 - What's that? Excuse me. - I don't know. Go look. 1057 01:14:11,729 --> 01:14:13,196 Bye, Dad. 1058 01:14:25,075 --> 01:14:27,566 We're gonna have a baby! 1059 01:14:29,579 --> 01:14:31,809 Jesus Christ! 1060 01:14:37,721 --> 01:14:39,916 Hey, everyone, Simon's off the roof! 1061 01:14:41,491 --> 01:14:43,083 I'm going to kill him. 1062 01:14:56,372 --> 01:14:59,569 - Hey, has he gone? - Yeah. 1063 01:14:59,642 --> 01:15:01,973 Thank God. 1064 01:15:04,046 --> 01:15:05,775 Careful, careful. 1065 01:15:08,884 --> 01:15:11,444 - Thank you. - Martha. 1066 01:15:11,553 --> 01:15:13,885 Martha, will you open this door? 1067 01:15:17,159 --> 01:15:22,256 Thank God you're safe. You idiot! What were you thinking? 1068 01:15:22,331 --> 01:15:24,629 I want you to stay away from my daughter. 1069 01:15:24,700 --> 01:15:26,497 - Look, Dad... - Martha, stay out of this. 1070 01:15:26,568 --> 01:15:29,196 - Dad, we're getting married. - You're what? 1071 01:15:29,271 --> 01:15:32,035 We're getting married. 1072 01:15:33,642 --> 01:15:37,601 Martha, you don't have to marry this man just because you're pregnant. 1073 01:15:37,679 --> 01:15:41,478 - We can deal with this, Martha. - I'm marrying him because I love him. 1074 01:15:41,983 --> 01:15:43,712 - You can't. - Yes, I can. 1075 01:15:43,785 --> 01:15:45,446 This is my life, and this is my choice, 1076 01:15:45,520 --> 01:15:49,012 and I'm sorry if you don't like it, but that's just tough. 1077 01:15:50,625 --> 01:15:54,823 And I will tell you something else. If you don't sort out your attitude, 1078 01:15:54,896 --> 01:15:58,662 you're gonna end up a very lonely, bitter old man. 1079 01:15:59,834 --> 01:16:01,802 - Simon. - All right. 1080 01:16:05,540 --> 01:16:06,632 Dad! 1081 01:16:09,544 --> 01:16:12,809 Oh, darling, we really must start again now. 1082 01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:15,906 - Daniel, have you seen Uncle Alfie? - Shit! 1083 01:16:29,963 --> 01:16:32,454 - What the hell is going on in there? - I'm so sorry. 1084 01:16:32,532 --> 01:16:35,262 Never mind that. What about that dead body you were dragging over here? 1085 01:16:35,335 --> 01:16:37,200 - What dead body? - Oh, don't fuck with me! 1086 01:16:37,270 --> 01:16:39,670 - I saw a dead body! - Uncle Alfie must have dropped off. 1087 01:16:39,739 --> 01:16:44,142 Get me the hell off of this fucking toilet! 1088 01:16:44,678 --> 01:16:45,975 Here they come. 1089 01:16:55,822 --> 01:16:57,483 Did you hear that? She's having a kid. 1090 01:16:57,557 --> 01:16:59,581 I never would've done anything if I'd known she was having a kid. 1091 01:16:59,658 --> 01:17:00,716 I thought you were in love with her. 1092 01:17:00,793 --> 01:17:03,557 Yeah, but can you imagine me bringing up a kid? 1093 01:17:03,629 --> 01:17:05,290 - No. - Exactly. 1094 01:17:05,364 --> 01:17:07,798 - How's your skin thing? - Oh, that. Probably nothing. 1095 01:17:07,867 --> 01:17:11,803 To be honest, I'm more concerned about having had Uncle Alfie's shit in my mouth. 1096 01:17:23,215 --> 01:17:25,809 The door opened, I saw him. He was dead. 1097 01:17:25,885 --> 01:17:30,083 Why won't you listen? I tell you, I saw the guy. He was dead. 1098 01:17:30,155 --> 01:17:32,623 I know you did, Uncle Alfie. We all did. 1099 01:17:32,691 --> 01:17:34,886 No, no, no, in the bathroom. 1100 01:17:34,960 --> 01:17:36,052 The door opened. I saw... 1101 01:17:36,128 --> 01:17:38,755 I can't believe what a nightmare today has been. 1102 01:17:38,830 --> 01:17:41,025 - It's been sort of exciting, hasn't it? - What? 1103 01:17:41,099 --> 01:17:43,761 - For a funeral, I mean, it's been... - Listen, about the flat, 1104 01:17:43,835 --> 01:17:47,794 - I promise that I will make the call. I will. - We'll work it out. 1105 01:17:49,641 --> 01:17:51,370 Right, we're really going to have to whiz through this now. 1106 01:17:51,442 --> 01:17:52,568 Sure, let's go. 1107 01:17:52,644 --> 01:17:54,635 - Do you want to have the casket open... - No. No. 1108 01:17:54,712 --> 01:17:55,770 Fine. That's fine. 1109 01:17:55,847 --> 01:17:58,941 Right. Sit down, everybody. As quick as you can. We're ready to go. 1110 01:17:59,417 --> 01:18:03,148 Come along. Come on, come on. Come on. Right. 1111 01:18:04,455 --> 01:18:08,448 Quickly! Come on, come on, come on, come on. 1112 01:18:09,460 --> 01:18:12,293 Come on, come on, come on! 1113 01:18:13,932 --> 01:18:16,833 Well, I'd like to apologize on behalf of the family for all of the distractions. 1114 01:18:16,901 --> 01:18:19,368 I hope that everyone is settled and ready to continue with the service, 1115 01:18:19,436 --> 01:18:21,131 and Daniel would like to say a few words about his father. 1116 01:18:21,204 --> 01:18:23,434 Off you go, Daniel. Quickly. 1117 01:18:40,123 --> 01:18:44,025 "My father was an exceptional man." 1118 01:19:04,413 --> 01:19:07,905 "My father was an exceptional man. 1119 01:19:18,127 --> 01:19:21,619 "He was born in 1938, just a year before the war, and I'll never forget the..." 1120 01:19:25,267 --> 01:19:28,236 - What the hell is going on? - There's someone in there! 1121 01:19:28,304 --> 01:19:30,033 I knew it! 1122 01:19:39,214 --> 01:19:42,308 What the hell are you doing in my dad's coffin? 1123 01:19:44,819 --> 01:19:47,913 - Edward! - No! No! 1124 01:19:48,156 --> 01:19:49,623 No! 1125 01:19:49,691 --> 01:19:52,353 Edward! Edward! 1126 01:19:57,565 --> 01:19:59,430 No! 1127 01:20:12,480 --> 01:20:15,916 You little bastard! He's been shagging you, you bastard. 1128 01:20:18,852 --> 01:20:20,285 Oh, dear God! 1129 01:20:20,621 --> 01:20:23,317 My father was an exceptional man! 1130 01:20:47,748 --> 01:20:52,447 He may not have been a perfect man, but he was a good man. 1131 01:20:54,488 --> 01:20:55,852 And he loved us. 1132 01:21:01,094 --> 01:21:03,528 All I wanted to do today was to give him a dignified send-off. 1133 01:21:03,596 --> 01:21:05,621 Is that really so much to ask? 1134 01:21:12,171 --> 01:21:13,160 So... 1135 01:21:16,042 --> 01:21:17,304 Maybe... 1136 01:21:19,745 --> 01:21:25,377 Maybe he had some things he liked to do. Life isn't simple. It's complicated. 1137 01:21:28,521 --> 01:21:34,756 We're all just thrown in here together in a world full of chaos and confusion, 1138 01:21:36,061 --> 01:21:40,930 a world full of questions and no answers. Death always lingering around the corner. 1139 01:21:40,999 --> 01:21:42,591 And we do our best. 1140 01:21:45,237 --> 01:21:49,367 We can only do our best, and my dad did his best. 1141 01:22:02,287 --> 01:22:04,755 He always tried to tell me that you have to go for what you want in life, 1142 01:22:04,823 --> 01:22:06,415 because you never know how long you're gonna be here. 1143 01:22:06,491 --> 01:22:11,258 And whether you succeed or you fail, 1144 01:22:11,329 --> 01:22:14,127 the most important thing is to have tried. 1145 01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:18,568 A parent can only guide you in the right direction. 1146 01:22:18,636 --> 01:22:21,469 In the end, you have to learn for yourself. 1147 01:22:26,710 --> 01:22:28,905 You have to grow up yourself. 1148 01:22:34,818 --> 01:22:36,911 So when you all leave here today, 1149 01:22:38,355 --> 01:22:42,189 I would like you to remember my father for who he really was, 1150 01:22:43,928 --> 01:22:46,954 a decent, loving man. 1151 01:22:51,635 --> 01:22:55,764 If only we could be as giving and as generous and as 1152 01:22:55,838 --> 01:23:02,073 understanding as my father was, then the world would be a far better place. 1153 01:23:41,917 --> 01:23:44,886 Hey. How's Mum doing? 1154 01:23:46,888 --> 01:23:48,651 She'll survive. 1155 01:23:52,094 --> 01:23:55,257 On the positive side, now she knows why it's been so long 1156 01:23:55,330 --> 01:23:57,059 since she and Dad had sex. 1157 01:24:01,970 --> 01:24:04,962 I asked her to come to New York with me for a while. 1158 01:24:05,440 --> 01:24:08,876 Give you and Jane a chance to breathe a bit, you know. 1159 01:24:09,511 --> 01:24:13,412 - Get your flat. - Wow. 1160 01:24:14,015 --> 01:24:15,004 Wow. 1161 01:24:16,917 --> 01:24:22,150 That was a pretty good speech you gave, by the way. It was really 1162 01:24:27,128 --> 01:24:30,859 - impressive. - Thanks. 1163 01:24:35,970 --> 01:24:40,805 Maybe when you've got time, you wouldn't mind taking a look at my novel. 1164 01:24:41,342 --> 01:24:44,334 I'd love to, yeah. 1165 01:24:47,782 --> 01:24:49,682 Hey. Hey. 1166 01:24:51,652 --> 01:24:53,812 I'm exhausted, actually. 1167 01:24:53,887 --> 01:24:57,379 Uncle Alfie keeps going on about the body in the bathroom. 1168 01:24:57,457 --> 01:24:59,687 - I think it's best if he stays here tonight. - Yeah. 1169 01:24:59,759 --> 01:25:02,887 - Do you think he'll be okay? - Yeah. Yeah, he'll be fine. 1170 01:25:02,962 --> 01:25:05,760 I found him a couple of Valium, put him to bed. 1171 01:25:09,302 --> 01:25:12,135 Everything's so fucking green! 1172 01:25:33,525 --> 01:25:35,186 And keep rolling. 1173 01:25:36,028 --> 01:25:37,757 What was that? 1174 01:25:45,003 --> 01:25:46,664 Cut, print, check it. 1175 01:25:53,379 --> 01:25:58,112 - That is so low. That's so low. - What? Come on! You said cut! 1176 01:25:58,751 --> 01:26:02,209 Daniel, have... Oh, you bastard! 1177 01:26:03,155 --> 01:26:04,622 Jane Asher! Sorry. 1178 01:26:07,292 --> 01:26:10,159 Do that... Do that again, sorry. Do that again, sorry. 1179 01:26:13,664 --> 01:26:16,633 Cut. Check it. Very nice, though, guys. 1180 01:26:20,872 --> 01:26:22,840 Print. Check it. 1181 01:26:24,976 --> 01:26:28,639 Cut! Cut. Print it. 1182 01:26:30,815 --> 01:26:32,874 That was very good. 1183 01:26:34,819 --> 01:26:37,049 Anything else you wanna do, Peter? 1184 01:26:37,522 --> 01:26:38,716 That's a cut. 1185 01:26:39,857 --> 01:26:40,949 Check it.