1
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:25,717
HUDSON: I have always been
my own worst enemy.
2
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:29,355
Oh, my God, you're so late.
3
00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:33,098
- Hudson Milbank.
- God, you are so late.
4
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:37,036
- Hudson Milbank.
- You are so late.
5
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:40,397
HUDSON: Even on the most
important day of my career.
6
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:06,398
I felt overwhelmed
by the uncertainty of what I had.
7
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,098
(HUDSON INHALES)
8
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:20,077
I wasn't the same person anymore.
9
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:24,349
I was now living in some kind of
horrific perpetual dream state,
10
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:27,886
yet somehow still able to interact
without anyone knowing.
11
00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:31,122
Just going through the motions,
on automatic.
12
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:34,493
I'm afraid I'll never get out of this.
13
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:35,761
(CAR HORN HONKING)
14
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:56,348
(GASPS)
15
00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:57,983
My life view was simple.
16
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:01,286
One, I just wanted to be a happy person
with happy thoughts.
17
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:05,387
Two, we were all a simple action
away from complete disaster.
18
00:02:30,683 --> 00:02:33,152
You should slow down, man.
19
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,154
HUDSON: But I didn't want to slow down.
20
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:40,552
I just wanted to stop my racing thoughts,
constant worry and never-ending anxiety.
21
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:54,907
(HEART BEATING)
22
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:11,323
Little did I know, inhaling
a harmless joint 12 times in 12 minutes
23
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:16,584
could unhinge an already vulnerable brain
and send it into the bottom of an abyss.
24
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:23,502
(VOICE ECHOING) Jesus Christ!
25
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:24,603
(HEARTBEAT RACING)
26
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:25,804
Jesus!
27
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:27,739
- You just smoked too much.
- Jesus Christ!
28
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:29,841
You'll be okay. He'll be okay.
29
00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:32,611
I'm fucked!
30
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:35,714
HUDSON: From that point onward, I would
suffer from a symptom so frightening,
31
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:39,542
it would consume every minute
of every hour of every day.
32
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:44,154
The official term was "depersonalization".
33
00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:56,601
No matter what I did, it wouldn't go away.
34
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:13,518
So, what was it exactly?
35
00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:15,754
Depersonalization disorder, in brief,
36
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:19,958
involved the persistent or
recurrent experience of feeling detached,
37
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:24,496
as if one was an outside observer
of one's mental processes or body.
38
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:26,264
(VOICE ECHOING) Are you okay?
39
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:33,138
HUDSON: The sense that the external world
was unreal or strange,
40
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:36,341
like living in some hellish dream-like state.
41
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:39,577
In layman's terms, I was fucked.
42
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:44,443
- You hear that?
- Yes, I did. Is that bad?
43
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:48,887
Just hold your arms to your side.
44
00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:52,021
Now touch your nose with your forefingers.
45
00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:59,097
All right, you can open your eyes now.
You're fine.
46
00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,799
That's impossible.
47
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,668
I never joke about the head, son.
48
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:05,237
My finger hit my nostril. Did you catch that?
49
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:08,907
- It was close enough.
- But what about the "nothing's real" part?
50
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:12,075
Perhaps you should see a psychiatrist
or something.
51
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,783
HUDSON: I also lived substantially
below my means.
52
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:19,484
Not that I was cheap,
53
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:23,622
I was just terrified of things getting so bad,
I wouldn't be able to function.
54
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:25,123
So I opened up my checkbook,
55
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,626
and found myself in the office
of a West Side psychiatrist
56
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,528
who specialized
in dealing with creative types
57
00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,694
on the verge of losing their minds.
58
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,062
Have you ever heard the word "dysphoric"?
59
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:38,493
I knew it. I've somehow gone crazy.
60
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:41,269
(LAUGHS) No, that's psychotic.
61
00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:47,037
Dysphoric is when you
just don't feel right in your own skin.
62
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:51,283
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Say that again.
63
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,286
HUDSON: Over the next week,
I couldn't stop talking about that word.
64
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:57,715
It means I don't feel comfortable
in my own skin.
65
00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:58,991
(PRICE SCANNER BEEPS)
66
00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:03,528
HUDSON: Tom was my writing partner
of seven years.
67
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,997
We complemented each other perfectly.
68
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:08,533
He considered himself
the writer of the team.
69
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,335
I was the hustler.
70
00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:12,871
Even in my state,
I could sell better than he could.
71
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,606
So, how's the detachment thing?
72
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:19,344
You could jam this fork into my eye socket
right now and I wouldn't feel it.
73
00:06:19,345 --> 00:06:22,881
But you're gonna be okay
for the pitch next week?
74
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,583
I'm suffering here.
75
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:27,652
Now, but this is important.
76
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,955
Why did I have to smoke the pot?
77
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,256
We have to sell something.
78
00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:34,092
I mean, I didn't even
touch a drug in high school.
79
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:36,828
See, when we're in the room,
you're always the guy.
80
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:38,697
So between now and then,
81
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:40,899
I'm really gonna need you
to put down that fork.
82
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,602
I couldn't have just taken one or two hits
like a normal person.
83
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:45,670
I had to smoke the whole thing
like some fucking maniac.
84
00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:46,938
It's not the pot. It's not the pot.
85
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:50,142
I smoke pot every day of my life.
I've never stared at cutlery.
86
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,778
Do you have a turkey burger?
87
00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:54,137
Fuck!
88
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,312
All right.
89
00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,447
All right.
90
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,789
What about the shrink? Is he any good?
91
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,992
- He went to Harvard.
- Can't get any better than that.
92
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,386
That's great. What's he say?
93
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:12,464
He thinks it might be a good idea
for my self-esteem
94
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:15,267
if we switched the order of our names
on every other screenplay.
95
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:18,162
He's an asshole, a Harvard asshole.
96
00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:20,138
(APPLAUSE ON TV)
97
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:24,535
MAN ON TV: Oh, missed it on the high side,
with the wind, with the slope.
98
00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:28,972
HUDSON: Also, I watched The Golf Channel
for 23 hours yesterday.
99
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,550
Why golf?
100
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:35,654
I don't know. I find it comforting.
It's green. People are whispering.
101
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,056
So you're not getting out at all?
102
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:40,025
Look, I think this is something
a little bit more
103
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:43,595
than just being not comfortable
in my own skin.
104
00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:46,565
What do I do? Tell me what to do.
105
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,060
Hudson,
106
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:54,803
it's important that you socialize,
even if you have to force yourself.
107
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,518
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
108
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:10,653
You are the sweetest dog. So handsome.
109
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:52,430
HUDSON: I read in a pamphlet
from the National Mental Association
110
00:08:52,431 --> 00:08:57,068
that after 12 weeks of psychotherapy,
if you're not better, seek another therapist.
111
00:08:57,069 --> 00:08:59,137
I was on week 14 with Dr. Townshend,
112
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:02,407
but we'd become more like friends,
so I didn't mind.
113
00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:06,044
- So, the "S," that's for Scott, right?
- Yes.
114
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,336
- Can I call you that?
- No.
115
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:12,450
HUDSON: One way to survive the endless
time between therapy sessions
116
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:16,744
was to distract myself
with the longest-running movies ever made.
117
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:21,323
- These are due back Thursday.
- What if I watch them all tonight?
118
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,654
Okay.
119
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,291
Dr. Townshend.
120
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:37,609
Wow, I can't believe I'm bumping into you.
How are you?
121
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:38,968
Fine.
122
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,641
I was just at the video store.
123
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,446
Hey.
124
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:58,430
Well, I guess I'll go home
and wait for our next appointment.
125
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,222
- It's tomorrow, right?
- Fine.
126
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,703
Patient.
127
00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:14,279
HUDSON: The one thing Townshend did give
me was clonazepam.
128
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,281
The directions read, "Take as needed".
129
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,584
Which for me was Monday to Friday
and weekends.
130
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:22,621
One blue pill was the equivalent
of three domestic beers.
131
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,191
Two pills cut my feelings
of hopelessness by a third.
132
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,193
More was needed if you were, say,
133
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,962
rejected by a shrink
you entrusted your life to.
134
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:34,699
I adored the sedation,
but there was one drawback,
135
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,235
sexual dysfunction.
136
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:40,572
It got so bad, the average sexual act
did nothing for me.
137
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:43,008
I had to find the most extreme
20 seconds of footage
138
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,343
and play it over and over
until it did the trick.
139
00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:47,737
Oh, fuck me with your tongue.
140
00:10:49,615 --> 00:10:52,145
Oh, fuck me with your tongue.
141
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:57,122
HUDSON: Despite the restaurant snub,
142
00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:59,891
I decided to give Dr. Townshend
another shot.
143
00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:01,459
After all, he was out with friends,
144
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:04,957
and that had nothing to do with
his dedication to me within our sessions.
145
00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:08,333
(SNORING)
146
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:15,006
(BANG)
147
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,910
Go on.
148
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:22,442
I guess this is boring you.
149
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:27,352
- Excuse me?
- You kind of fell asleep there.
150
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,421
- No.
- You were snoring.
151
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,689
I was listening.
152
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,657
Because last night I was in the bath,
153
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:36,161
and I figured out
that I've already spent $2,650 on sessions,
154
00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:38,663
and I still feel crazier than I ever did.
155
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,265
So if you were snoring...
156
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:44,569
I think you're making this bigger
than it needs to be, Hudson.
157
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:46,538
You would also think,
at those kind of prices,
158
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,073
if we ran into each other at a restaurant,
159
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:52,110
you could acknowledge me
as something more than "patient".
160
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:54,979
- Perhaps we should talk about this.
- Perhaps.
161
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:56,781
Obviously, you're upset.
162
00:11:56,782 --> 00:12:00,952
I think I am a little upset
because I rely on you.
163
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:04,122
You're my touchstone to mental health,
and I think we have kind of a bond...
164
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,457
(SNORING)
165
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,952
Fuck me.
166
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:11,329
HUDSON: Intense exercise
was my next course of action.
167
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,266
I read if you could raise
your endorphins high enough,
168
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:18,468
it could somehow alter
your brain chemistry.
169
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:24,008
I found a class packed with lesbians,
170
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,745
not by choice, but still,
it was strangely comforting.
171
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,246
Okay, people!
172
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,615
This is your time, so let's push it!
173
00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:31,716
(GIRL WHOOPS)
174
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:33,314
INSTRUCTOR: That's it!
175
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,853
(WHOOPING)
176
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,621
Everybody up!
177
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:38,890
(GIRLS WHOOPING)
178
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:40,158
(HUDSON WHOOPS)
179
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,430
INSTRUCTOR: And everybody down.
180
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,933
HUDSON: After 30 minutes, I thought
something might actually be happening,
181
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:51,870
but it was wishful,
psychosomatic false alarm.
182
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:56,130
My legs might as well
have been attached to one of the lesbians.
183
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,687
I didn't know where else to turn.
184
00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:11,923
I hadn't been home in five years.
185
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,424
Maybe a little family reconnection
186
00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:16,592
was what I needed
to snap me back to normal.
187
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:26,497
- Now, what is this spaciness, sport?
- It's anxiety. That is all it is.
188
00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:35,914
Oh, my goodness.
189
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:37,182
(HUDSON SIGHS)
190
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,009
Sport?
191
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,087
HUDSON: I desperately wanted
my dad's help,
192
00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:45,390
but he was the king of pragmatic thinking.
193
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:48,426
I'd get the same kind of advice
to all my worries.
194
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:52,263
Do you think it was the pot?
I mean, why did I have to smoke so much?
195
00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:55,499
Just pull up your socks, huh?
You'll be okay.
196
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,714
HUDSON: I thought about reaching out
to my older brother, Stan,
197
00:14:09,715 --> 00:14:12,609
who I'd worshipped since I was a kid.
198
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,413
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
199
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:20,425
(SIGHS) I'm busy.
200
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:22,560
Can I at least get a glass of water
before I ride back?
201
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:26,531
I'm in the middle of a writing session.
There's a gas station on the corner.
202
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,799
(GASPING)
203
00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:31,762
(PANTING)
204
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,838
(GAGGING)
205
00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:36,407
- Sport?
- I can't... I can't breathe.
206
00:14:36,408 --> 00:14:39,143
- What is it?
- He says he can't breathe.
207
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:43,540
Oh, for goodness' sake.
Stop acting like a child!
208
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,314
Breathe.
209
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,514
Hyperventilating.
210
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,571
I think that's enough, sport.
211
00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:20,285
(GASPING)
212
00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:24,355
HUDSON: Reconnecting wasn't the answer.
213
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:27,819
I had to get back to LA
and somehow heal thyself.
214
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:34,098
(CONTINUOUS KNOCKING ON DOOR)
215
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:37,135
TOM: I know you're in there!
Hudson, it's Tom!
216
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:39,304
Come on, get up! Get up!
217
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:41,606
Put those feet on the ground
and move them!
218
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:45,143
That's it. Don't trip on your clothes,
'cause they're everywhere, aren't they?
219
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:49,073
That's me knocking!
Answer the door! Open it!
220
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,747
Okay, got to get you dressed.
Got a meeting in 30.
221
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,522
So when's the maid come? Never?
222
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,390
What do you think?
Jeans and a T-shirt today?
223
00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:01,592
I am dying here.
224
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:05,829
- All right, then I'll drive.
- I have to sleep.
225
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:12,503
How about this shirt? Look at this.
Oh, my God.
226
00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:15,440
- Are you kidding me?
- I can't... I can't do this.
227
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,575
Of course you can.
The shirt goes on the top.
228
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:18,710
Watch this move.
229
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:21,646
The pants, big surprise to everyone,
go on the bottom.
230
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,615
All right, we've got the leg crossed.
I crossed the pant.
231
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:26,818
Where are the shoes? Gotta have shoes.
You know why?
232
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,854
'Cause you're going outside. That's right.
233
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:31,990
You are a handsome man.
I'm gonna wait in the car.
234
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,225
We've got to get this job today, buddy.
Gotta get this job.
235
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:44,599
So, how you doing now?
236
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,808
But that's better than in the car, right?
237
00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:52,076
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
238
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:53,745
Oh, God!
239
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:56,381
Can't you just fight this
until after the meeting?
240
00:16:56,382 --> 00:17:00,311
- No, but I think I can mask it.
- Okay, that's all we need.
241
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:04,147
WOMAN: He's ready for you.
242
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,340
Now would be good.
243
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,742
Sorry I'm late.
244
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,149
Fuck.
245
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,386
Fuck.
246
00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:46,397
HUDSON: For some reason,
just looking at her
247
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:49,767
jolted me into a state of awareness
and back to the job at hand.
248
00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:56,303
So, would you like the $50 million version
or the $100 million version?
249
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:03,971
TOM: You did it! You did it!
250
00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:07,385
Oh, let's get something to eat.
251
00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:10,521
That girl is an angel.
252
00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:12,517
What? Who?
253
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:15,226
The development girl.
254
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:18,396
Oh, no. No, no, no. Please, God, no.
255
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,932
- What?
- What?
256
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,034
Remember the last gig? The copy girl?
257
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:28,773
TOM: The flower and the rain
and the obsessing over her youthful zeal?
258
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,208
We didn't work for a year after that.
259
00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:33,706
Well, there's something
different about this girl.
260
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,115
All right, maybe there is.
261
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,717
Maybe there's something
very different about this girl.
262
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:44,822
It's just that there's also something
very different about money coming in.
263
00:18:44,823 --> 00:18:46,181
Okay?
264
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,061
- Okay.
- Okay.
265
00:18:57,402 --> 00:18:58,669
(FLY BUZZING)
266
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:36,541
(PHONE RINGS)
267
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:38,537
- Fuck!
- (EXCLAIMS) Hello?
268
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,071
Hello?
269
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,115
- Is Hudson there?
- Yes?
270
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:47,975
Is this Hudson?
271
00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:52,121
- Yes, who's this?
- Sara Harrison.
272
00:19:57,462 --> 00:19:58,786
Who?
273
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:01,132
I was... I was the executive.
274
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,868
You were in my office today
sucking up to my boss.
275
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:07,502
Yes. Hi. This is him.
276
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,803
- I hope it's okay I'm calling.
- Yes, sure. Of course.
277
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:20,351
- Hello?
- Hello?
278
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:21,619
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
279
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,822
I was wondering
if you wanted to get together.
280
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:26,613
- You and me?
- Uh-huh.
281
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,226
(FLY BUZZING)
282
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,419
When?
283
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:43,174
Just an ordinary everyday spoon.
You've seen it a thousand times.
284
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:46,535
Just an ordinary piece of kitchen cutlery.
See?
285
00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:55,253
(LAUGHS)
286
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:59,690
- Very impressive. Where did it go?
- Well, it's magic.
287
00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:01,288
Your lap?
288
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:04,555
It's a stupid trick, really.
289
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:08,466
You know, I've seen you before,
at a party a couple weeks ago.
290
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:11,969
You were sitting on a couch by yourself,
and this dog came up to you.
291
00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:14,830
- You fed it a potato chip.
- Potato chip.
292
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:17,601
Yeah.
293
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,745
You looked really lonely.
294
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:26,817
Oh, no, that's just the way that I appear
when I'm really enjoying myself.
295
00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:29,609
You seemed really anxious to leave.
296
00:21:30,389 --> 00:21:31,917
- I did?
- Mmm.
297
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:36,427
There was something
so fucking noticeable about you.
298
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:38,593
Sorry. Sweet.
299
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:43,834
- I cuss when I get excited about things.
- That's okay.
300
00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:46,763
- It's not Tourette's or anything.
- Right.
301
00:21:47,205 --> 00:21:49,940
HUDSON: My God, she was fantastic.
302
00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:51,475
And by dessert, things loosened up
303
00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:53,844
when she started talking
about her last relationship.
304
00:21:53,845 --> 00:21:56,781
So, he took a gun
out of his glove compartment
305
00:21:56,782 --> 00:22:00,217
and then blew his brains out
all over his Porsche,
306
00:22:00,218 --> 00:22:01,686
in front of his ex-wife.
307
00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:06,151
HUDSON: But she was obviously attracted to
unstable guys, which was perfect.
308
00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:07,458
(SIGHS)
309
00:22:09,861 --> 00:22:12,129
What's your biggest fear?
310
00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:13,992
Uh, um...
311
00:22:14,866 --> 00:22:17,535
- Well, I guess I have two.
- Mmm-hmm.
312
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:20,738
The first is going spontaneously insane.
313
00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:21,972
(SARA LAUGHS)
314
00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:23,831
And the second
315
00:22:24,976 --> 00:22:28,712
is something happening to my father.
316
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:31,805
Like him dying?
317
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:36,020
I really wish you, um, wouldn't say it.
318
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,888
You're afraid of the word?
319
00:22:37,889 --> 00:22:40,591
Yeah, for some reason,
I think that saying it might...
320
00:22:40,592 --> 00:22:42,893
Make it happen.
321
00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:44,786
- Yeah.
- It won't.
322
00:22:45,964 --> 00:22:48,994
Death, death, death. Die, die, die. See?
323
00:22:51,903 --> 00:22:53,397
Nothing.
324
00:22:54,606 --> 00:22:56,474
Right, but you're saying it.
325
00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:59,810
Nothing's gonna happen
when you're saying it.
326
00:22:59,811 --> 00:23:02,012
See, that's the way my mind works.
327
00:23:02,013 --> 00:23:05,883
See, I figured out the other day
that life expectancy for a male is 72 years.
328
00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:08,152
That's 25,000 days.
329
00:23:08,153 --> 00:23:11,522
You know, and you sleep a third of that,
so that's just 16,000 days.
330
00:23:11,523 --> 00:23:12,990
And say you spend half that time
331
00:23:12,991 --> 00:23:15,292
trying to figure out
what you want to do with your life.
332
00:23:15,293 --> 00:23:17,528
That's down to 8,000 days.
333
00:23:17,529 --> 00:23:21,399
Now, I'm 36,
so that leaves me only 4,311 days left,
334
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,863
if I don't get sick
or hit by a bus or something.
335
00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:27,872
You're an unusual person.
336
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:31,442
SARA: My father is a physicist.
337
00:23:31,443 --> 00:23:34,044
- He teaches string theory.
- HUDSON: That's interesting.
338
00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:37,748
Yeah, so's the affair he's having
with a chick half his age.
339
00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:40,684
Should I come in?
340
00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:42,350
Oh, I would.
341
00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:53,792
(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)
342
00:23:54,065 --> 00:23:56,167
- What's the deal with him?
- He likes me.
343
00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:58,736
- Really?
- Yeah, he leaves CD's on my car
344
00:23:58,737 --> 00:24:02,029
and circles the tracks that remind him of me.
345
00:24:07,579 --> 00:24:09,447
People always look at
the numbers changing.
346
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:10,772
Yup.
347
00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:14,118
- I think it's 'cause they're nervous.
- Yup.
348
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,716
(TRUMPET PLAYING OFF TUNE)
349
00:24:30,802 --> 00:24:32,069
(INHALES DEEPLY)
350
00:24:33,405 --> 00:24:35,536
So, what did you think?
351
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:37,875
- It sounds good.
- Seriously?
352
00:24:37,876 --> 00:24:41,078
It's the worst playing
of any musical instrument I've ever heard.
353
00:24:41,079 --> 00:24:43,481
Really, you should throw that thing
in the fireplace.
354
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:44,548
(SARA LAUGHS)
355
00:24:44,549 --> 00:24:45,816
(SARA EMPTIES SPIT VALVE)
356
00:24:47,786 --> 00:24:49,280
Oh.
357
00:24:52,424 --> 00:24:55,626
Where did you get all of this stuff?
358
00:24:55,627 --> 00:24:57,360
What is that?
359
00:24:57,896 --> 00:24:59,563
- A turtle.
- It is?
360
00:24:59,564 --> 00:25:01,499
Yeah, I broke its head off.
361
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:04,869
I was watching the basketball playoffs,
and my fucking team didn't win,
362
00:25:04,870 --> 00:25:08,305
and so I threw the remote control at the TV
and it...
363
00:25:08,306 --> 00:25:09,907
Headless.
364
00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:14,269
Yeah, I can see that. You're insanely cute.
365
00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:19,010
You think I'm cute?
366
00:25:23,555 --> 00:25:26,016
I kind of think I have a big head.
367
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:29,260
Yeah, well, at least you have a chin.
I mean, look at this.
368
00:25:29,261 --> 00:25:31,996
I've got a straight line
from my chin to my neck.
369
00:25:31,997 --> 00:25:33,764
It's like a chin-neck.
370
00:25:33,765 --> 00:25:37,935
Well, I think that one of my ears
is bigger than the other.
371
00:25:37,936 --> 00:25:39,570
- I don't see that.
- Liars go to hell.
372
00:25:39,571 --> 00:25:41,361
Yeah, I see that.
373
00:25:44,242 --> 00:25:46,844
You really have no chin.
374
00:25:46,845 --> 00:25:50,014
Well, you kind of look like a lion.
375
00:25:50,015 --> 00:25:52,416
Well, you kind of look like an owl.
376
00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:55,015
- An owl?
- An owl without a chin.
377
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:11,493
Oh, I have to go.
378
00:26:14,539 --> 00:26:15,806
Where?
379
00:26:15,807 --> 00:26:17,074
(HUDSON STUTTERS)
380
00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:21,209
Just... I have an appointment tomorrow
for something that I forgot.
381
00:26:27,452 --> 00:26:28,986
What kind of a deadbolt is this?
382
00:26:28,987 --> 00:26:30,254
(SARA SIGHS)
383
00:26:31,056 --> 00:26:35,486
- Did I just fuck this up?
- I'm gonna call you. So be ready for that.
384
00:27:03,855 --> 00:27:06,487
You do kind of look like an owl.
385
00:27:09,694 --> 00:27:12,428
So, you really like this girl, huh?
386
00:27:14,566 --> 00:27:18,324
So, you must have told her
you were depersonalized, yeah?
387
00:27:36,187 --> 00:27:37,579
Okay.
388
00:27:42,293 --> 00:27:43,787
(SARA LAUGHS)
389
00:27:43,995 --> 00:27:45,095
How was that?
390
00:27:45,096 --> 00:27:47,698
It was the worst lawn bowling
I've ever seen in my entire life.
391
00:27:47,699 --> 00:27:51,799
I think you should take the ball
and throw it in my fireplace.
392
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:58,909
HUDSON: Over the next few dates, she
was able to drag me outside during the day.
393
00:27:58,910 --> 00:28:02,279
Luckily, we did things almost
as comforting as The Golf Channel.
394
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,682
Nights were the worst for me,
so I convinced her to stay in
395
00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:07,051
and watch extended versions
of Lawrence of Arabia,
396
00:28:07,052 --> 00:28:09,286
Bridge on the River Kwai
and The Right Stuff,
397
00:28:09,287 --> 00:28:11,355
which we saw twice.
398
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:13,323
She seemed perfectly fine.
399
00:28:13,324 --> 00:28:17,321
At this rate,
I could stay in my comfort zone indefinitely.
400
00:28:18,930 --> 00:28:21,630
I think we should go out tonight.
401
00:28:22,467 --> 00:28:24,029
- Out?
- Hmm.
402
00:28:24,836 --> 00:28:29,698
But I thought we were gonna watch the
Star Wars trilogy with the commentary.
403
00:28:30,942 --> 00:28:34,078
I know. Watching the Star Wars trilogy
with the commentary's fun,
404
00:28:34,079 --> 00:28:38,372
but I was thinking that maybe
we could do something different.
405
00:28:44,622 --> 00:28:48,292
So even though the Millennium Falcon
was the oldest plane,
406
00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:51,795
it ended up saving all of them.
407
00:28:51,796 --> 00:28:53,825
Yeah, it did, yeah.
408
00:29:00,672 --> 00:29:02,806
I'm thinking about getting a new car,
by the way.
409
00:29:02,807 --> 00:29:04,074
Really? Why?
410
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:09,747
Well, I just don't want you to think that
I like driving something that's 10 years old.
411
00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,582
A lot of people in LA don't have insurance,
412
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:14,818
so they don't care if they crash into you
so...
413
00:29:14,819 --> 00:29:17,713
You don't have to impress me, Hudson.
414
00:29:19,958 --> 00:29:21,418
I know.
415
00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:23,360
(SARA GIGGLES)
416
00:29:25,163 --> 00:29:27,988
- And I am looking at homes.
- Hmm.
417
00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:33,893
Let's go there.
418
00:29:39,477 --> 00:29:42,177
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
419
00:29:44,182 --> 00:29:45,783
- You okay?
- Yeah. You?
420
00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:47,142
Yeah.
421
00:30:07,772 --> 00:30:10,131
(CLEARS THROAT) That's impressive.
422
00:30:13,278 --> 00:30:15,045
I think you should give her $5.
423
00:30:15,046 --> 00:30:16,745
- $5?
- Yup.
424
00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:23,045
- I only have a 20.
- I'll pay you back.
425
00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:37,367
You should wash your hands.
426
00:30:37,368 --> 00:30:38,657
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
427
00:30:41,439 --> 00:30:42,773
That's good.
428
00:30:42,774 --> 00:30:45,770
I'm gonna go get some hand sanitizers.
429
00:30:47,111 --> 00:30:48,469
Okay.
430
00:31:03,328 --> 00:31:04,595
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
431
00:31:20,578 --> 00:31:22,679
Why do they have locks on stores
that are open 24...
432
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,675
Do you steal a lot?
433
00:31:26,951 --> 00:31:29,185
- What stealing?
- The pen.
434
00:31:29,921 --> 00:31:32,522
- No, I paid for that.
- Don't lie.
435
00:31:32,523 --> 00:31:34,552
Fucking hate that.
436
00:31:35,493 --> 00:31:37,385
Why do you do it?
437
00:31:41,099 --> 00:31:43,492
- I don't know.
- Yeah, you do.
438
00:31:49,974 --> 00:31:54,044
Well, maybe it gives me a
439
00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:56,346
warped sense of control
or some adrenaline or...
440
00:31:56,347 --> 00:31:58,849
Because I got to tell you, Hudson,
I can't date somebody who does that.
441
00:31:58,850 --> 00:32:02,853
- Well, it's only small stuff.
- It doesn't matter. It's not right.
442
00:32:02,854 --> 00:32:04,712
- I know.
- Do you?
443
00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:12,062
Yes, and it will absolutely not happen again.
444
00:32:12,063 --> 00:32:15,264
You're just saying that to get off the hook.
445
00:32:37,388 --> 00:32:39,246
You returned it?
446
00:32:40,258 --> 00:32:42,423
Like it never happened.
447
00:32:45,763 --> 00:32:47,690
Thank you, Hudson.
448
00:32:48,533 --> 00:32:53,065
No, thank you.
Stealing is bad and I don't want to be bad.
449
00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:06,014
You do you realize we haven't had sex yet.
450
00:33:08,319 --> 00:33:10,917
Uh, yes, I am aware of that.
451
00:33:16,961 --> 00:33:19,729
Will you take me back to your place?
452
00:33:24,702 --> 00:33:26,162
(STUTTERS) Mine?
453
00:33:33,778 --> 00:33:37,912
It's kind of like a ski lodge.
454
00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:42,711
Ha! It is very chalet-like.
455
00:33:46,124 --> 00:33:50,690
- You rent this place?
- I do pay a monthly fee.
456
00:33:51,329 --> 00:33:52,429
(SQUEAKING)
457
00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:55,065
- Whoa, what the fuck was that?
- Oh, no, you're...
458
00:33:55,066 --> 00:33:57,367
You're okay.
There's just a family of squirrels.
459
00:33:57,368 --> 00:33:59,568
Can I get you anything?
460
00:34:00,805 --> 00:34:02,372
What you got?
461
00:34:02,373 --> 00:34:03,473
Um...
462
00:34:03,474 --> 00:34:06,209
Well, I have pasta. I don't have any sauce.
463
00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:09,411
But would you like me
to make you some pasta?
464
00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:14,747
That's really sweet. We just ate so...
465
00:34:17,622 --> 00:34:19,623
How about some bottled water?
466
00:34:19,624 --> 00:34:21,091
Oh, okay, here's the deal with that.
467
00:34:21,092 --> 00:34:23,293
I don't really keep
bottled water in the house
468
00:34:23,294 --> 00:34:24,861
'cause I believe that it's a scam.
469
00:34:24,862 --> 00:34:29,633
See, tap water has to undergo
much more stringent testing for bacteria.
470
00:34:29,634 --> 00:34:31,265
Tap's good.
471
00:34:39,277 --> 00:34:40,544
(WATER RUNNING)
472
00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:46,172
Hudson, what are you looking for
in a relationship?
473
00:34:48,486 --> 00:34:53,557
(LAUGHS) Oh, well, just basically, somebody
who can stand to be with me, I guess.
474
00:34:53,558 --> 00:34:55,621
- Here.
- Thank you.
475
00:34:57,862 --> 00:34:59,186
You?
476
00:35:01,732 --> 00:35:03,192
Well,
477
00:35:04,235 --> 00:35:09,768
I want to know that if my limbs fall off,
we'd still be together, no matter what.
478
00:35:12,510 --> 00:35:16,580
And when he says my name,
it sounds different in his mouth.
479
00:35:16,581 --> 00:35:19,179
You know, like it's safe there.
480
00:35:21,219 --> 00:35:22,577
Or
481
00:35:24,088 --> 00:35:29,416
I put on perfume and he puts on cologne,
and we go out, and we can smell each other.
482
00:35:31,863 --> 00:35:35,031
You know, they make you smile
when you're tired.
483
00:35:35,032 --> 00:35:36,133
(CLICKS TONGUE)
484
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,026
That's a big one.
485
00:35:43,174 --> 00:35:45,635
Or you tell them something
486
00:35:46,777 --> 00:35:48,178
that you're scared to tell them
487
00:35:48,179 --> 00:35:50,147
because you're afraid
it'll make them stop loving you.
488
00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:52,983
But when you tell them, you're surprised,
because it actually,
489
00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:55,411
it makes them love you more.
490
00:35:57,722 --> 00:36:01,925
Or you tell them that they...
491
00:36:01,926 --> 00:36:06,185
That you love their shirt,
and then they end up wearing it every day.
492
00:36:09,066 --> 00:36:12,802
My greatest example of this
is my grandparents.
493
00:36:12,803 --> 00:36:18,166
My grandmother has arthritis in her hands,
and she can't bend down and paint her toes.
494
00:36:19,043 --> 00:36:21,777
So my grandfather does it for her,
495
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,914
all the time.
496
00:36:26,817 --> 00:36:30,177
Even though he has arthritis
in his hands, too.
497
00:36:35,326 --> 00:36:37,992
So, do you like the place?
498
00:36:41,165 --> 00:36:42,796
I like you.
499
00:37:20,004 --> 00:37:21,999
What are you doing?
500
00:37:22,406 --> 00:37:23,673
(GRUNTS)
501
00:37:25,009 --> 00:37:26,867
You can't sleep?
502
00:37:29,113 --> 00:37:32,177
You wanna turn... You can turn on the TV.
503
00:37:35,553 --> 00:37:36,953
(INDISTINCT TV NOISE)
504
00:37:36,954 --> 00:37:38,687
Is that good?
505
00:37:40,524 --> 00:37:42,092
That's great.
506
00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:43,193
(SARA LAUGHS)
507
00:37:43,194 --> 00:37:47,097
HUDSON: How many girls could fall asleep
to the Greater Hartford Open?
508
00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:50,663
Maybe a lot,
but this was the first one I ever met.
509
00:37:55,306 --> 00:37:57,130
Go, go, go.
510
00:37:58,876 --> 00:38:01,578
And I never want to see you back here
ever again!
511
00:38:01,579 --> 00:38:03,540
Do you understand?
512
00:38:06,717 --> 00:38:09,119
HUDSON: I couldn't hide my condition
from her forever.
513
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,455
If I had any chance with Sara,
I had to speed up my recovery.
514
00:38:12,456 --> 00:38:15,325
So I went with another doctor
who specialized in a big word,
515
00:38:15,326 --> 00:38:18,220
which meant, "Fuck talking, take drugs".
516
00:38:18,462 --> 00:38:20,130
Uh... So, Dr...
517
00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:21,865
- Richmond.
- Richmond,
518
00:38:21,866 --> 00:38:23,767
here's the thing.
519
00:38:23,768 --> 00:38:30,240
I have met and, I think, fallen in love with
the most beautiful, incredible, weird woman
520
00:38:30,241 --> 00:38:32,532
on the face of the planet.
521
00:38:33,077 --> 00:38:34,210
She's so pretty.
522
00:38:34,211 --> 00:38:36,946
I mean, she thinks she has a big head,
but she doesn't.
523
00:38:36,947 --> 00:38:40,083
And last night
we consummated our relationship,
524
00:38:40,084 --> 00:38:44,912
which is to say that I had sex...
Well, we had sex and...
525
00:38:45,122 --> 00:38:46,356
(HUDSON SIGHS)
526
00:38:46,357 --> 00:38:49,626
It should have felt really good.
I mean, it should have felt really good.
527
00:38:49,627 --> 00:38:53,063
But I was so focused on her
not seeing the pen that I stole,
528
00:38:53,064 --> 00:38:54,264
which she saw me steal.
529
00:38:54,265 --> 00:38:56,199
But I told her that I returned it,
but I didn't return it.
530
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:57,567
I just stole another pen.
531
00:38:57,568 --> 00:39:00,203
So all that was flying through my brain
when I was supposed to...
532
00:39:00,204 --> 00:39:03,073
So, fucking help.
533
00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:05,001
Help. Fuck, help.
534
00:39:11,649 --> 00:39:15,485
On a crowded elevator,
do you stand at the back or the front?
535
00:39:15,486 --> 00:39:16,844
What?
536
00:39:17,488 --> 00:39:20,790
On a crowded elevator,
do you stand at the back or the front?
537
00:39:20,791 --> 00:39:22,149
Back.
538
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:24,889
Front. Front.
539
00:39:26,430 --> 00:39:28,131
Front.
540
00:39:28,132 --> 00:39:30,798
Although, sometimes I find myself
541
00:39:32,069 --> 00:39:35,202
looking up at the numbers
'cause I get nervous.
542
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,942
You ever hear voices
coming from your television set?
543
00:39:38,943 --> 00:39:40,076
That aren't part of the show?
544
00:39:40,077 --> 00:39:41,537
- Yes.
- No.
545
00:39:45,616 --> 00:39:49,352
I think we'll begin with divalproex sodium.
546
00:39:49,353 --> 00:39:53,590
- What's divalproex sodium?
- Technically, an antipsychotic.
547
00:39:53,591 --> 00:39:56,025
- Psychotic? I'm psychotic?
- No.
548
00:39:56,026 --> 00:39:59,062
Because I feel psychotic, sometimes.
549
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:01,531
The fact that you're asking the question
proves that you're not.
550
00:40:01,532 --> 00:40:04,000
Well, then why am I taking
psychotic medication?
551
00:40:04,001 --> 00:40:06,536
Because in small doses
it can be quite helpful with mood,
552
00:40:06,537 --> 00:40:09,439
which I think is contributing
to your problem.
553
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,809
But I thought that's
why I was on clonazepam.
554
00:40:12,810 --> 00:40:16,170
- Did someone from Harvard prescribe that?
- Yes.
555
00:40:16,380 --> 00:40:19,282
(SCOFFS) Idiots. You'll stop
that immediately.
556
00:40:19,283 --> 00:40:22,519
Well, is this gonna help
with my depersonalization?
557
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,554
That's what we're gonna find out.
558
00:40:24,555 --> 00:40:28,985
- Well, what about the side effects?
- Nothing to be concerned about.
559
00:40:40,204 --> 00:40:43,740
- Have you taken an antipsychotic before?
- No, I'm not psychotic.
560
00:40:43,741 --> 00:40:47,744
I already asked if I was psychotic, and
apparently that proves I'm not psychotic.
561
00:40:47,745 --> 00:40:51,742
I'm taking it for depersonalization.
562
00:40:53,384 --> 00:40:55,218
Are you aware of the side effects?
563
00:40:55,219 --> 00:40:57,754
I was told there's nothing
to be concerned about.
564
00:40:57,755 --> 00:41:00,190
HUDSON READING: "Blurred vision,
constipation, dry eyes,
565
00:41:00,191 --> 00:41:03,153
"dry nose, dry mouth, difficulty urinating".
566
00:41:06,197 --> 00:41:08,692
Nothing to be concerned about.
567
00:41:11,035 --> 00:41:13,895
"Tardive dyskinesia".
568
00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:18,101
"Tardive dyskinesia, a permanent twitching
of the facial muscles".
569
00:41:21,045 --> 00:41:22,245
Fuck.
570
00:41:22,246 --> 00:41:23,980
HUDSON: My alternatives were slim.
571
00:41:23,981 --> 00:41:27,978
Permanent spaciness
or rare, irreversible facial twitching.
572
00:41:32,890 --> 00:41:34,157
(GRUNTS)
573
00:41:35,259 --> 00:41:36,526
(CLEARS THROAT)
574
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,107
(PHONE RINGING)
575
00:41:58,148 --> 00:42:00,016
Give it another hour, sport.
576
00:42:00,017 --> 00:42:03,013
- I'll leave the back door unlocked.
- YOUNG HUDSON: Okay, Dad.
577
00:42:12,830 --> 00:42:14,893
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
578
00:42:32,249 --> 00:42:33,516
(SIGHS)
579
00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:41,619
Where have you been?
580
00:42:42,326 --> 00:42:45,527
- What? Here.
- I've been calling and calling.
581
00:42:46,964 --> 00:42:50,028
- What time is it?
- It's almost 4:00.
582
00:42:53,737 --> 00:42:55,732
I fell asleep.
583
00:42:57,908 --> 00:43:00,438
I fell asleep in the bathroom.
584
00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:04,313
You fell asleep in the bathroom.
585
00:43:11,021 --> 00:43:13,186
Hudson, what's going on?
586
00:43:16,226 --> 00:43:17,720
Nothing.
587
00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:23,363
- Hudson, tell me what's going on.
- Nothing.
588
00:43:25,369 --> 00:43:27,159
I want to know.
589
00:43:32,343 --> 00:43:35,612
The technical term for it
is "depersonalization."
590
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:39,315
But I can't explain to you what that is
because you don't have it.
591
00:43:39,316 --> 00:43:41,311
Can you please try?
592
00:43:43,887 --> 00:43:45,154
(SIGHS)
593
00:43:46,357 --> 00:43:50,991
It's like when I feel anxious,
which is all the time, my
594
00:43:53,097 --> 00:43:56,264
relationship with reality is all screwed up.
595
00:43:57,267 --> 00:43:58,659
So...
596
00:44:00,204 --> 00:44:04,736
Like, I look at my hand
and it just doesn't feel...
597
00:44:06,677 --> 00:44:07,944
(HUDSON EXHALES)
598
00:44:07,945 --> 00:44:11,214
Like, right now, I see your lips moving
and I hear you talking,
599
00:44:11,215 --> 00:44:13,483
but it just doesn't feel real to me.
600
00:44:13,484 --> 00:44:15,775
I don't feel real to you?
601
00:44:17,354 --> 00:44:19,989
This all started with the pot.
Do you think it was the pot?
602
00:44:19,990 --> 00:44:23,020
No, I don't think pot can do that, baby.
603
00:44:23,894 --> 00:44:25,428
Yeah, and I didn't want to tell you
604
00:44:25,429 --> 00:44:28,031
because I didn't think
you'd want to be with me.
605
00:44:28,032 --> 00:44:31,167
- Have you seen anybody about this?
- I've seen almost everybody about this.
606
00:44:31,168 --> 00:44:32,902
- What do they say?
- They give me pills,
607
00:44:32,903 --> 00:44:37,606
but I don't think I'm taking the right ones
because they just make me feel worse.
608
00:44:38,842 --> 00:44:41,076
Do you ever feel better?
609
00:44:42,546 --> 00:44:46,582
HUDSON: 4:45 am.
and for the next 20 minutes,
610
00:44:46,583 --> 00:44:51,445
the only time in this city's day
when it is completely deserted.
611
00:44:51,889 --> 00:44:55,056
I feel like we're the last people on earth.
612
00:44:55,626 --> 00:44:58,520
I wish it was like this all the time.
613
00:45:00,230 --> 00:45:02,464
You can't live like this.
614
00:45:04,468 --> 00:45:06,793
Sometimes I wish I didn't.
615
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:21,317
And I don't think you understand
what he's going through.
616
00:45:21,318 --> 00:45:23,279
I'm afraid for him.
617
00:45:24,254 --> 00:45:26,522
Let me put your mind at ease.
618
00:45:26,523 --> 00:45:30,884
People who talk about killing themselves
very rarely carry it out.
619
00:45:31,361 --> 00:45:32,929
Oh, really?
620
00:45:32,930 --> 00:45:36,332
Because I dated a guy
who talked about it all the time,
621
00:45:36,333 --> 00:45:39,363
and then he blew his fucking brains out.
622
00:45:40,704 --> 00:45:42,438
Hudson, if you don't mind,
623
00:45:42,439 --> 00:45:45,674
I'd like to speak to Sara alone
for a few minutes.
624
00:46:07,998 --> 00:46:11,096
What I'm interested in is why you're here.
625
00:46:14,138 --> 00:46:16,736
- Because I care about him.
- Why?
626
00:46:21,478 --> 00:46:24,303
Because he does stupid magic tricks.
627
00:46:29,286 --> 00:46:32,714
Because you can't pick
who you fall in love with.
628
00:46:34,725 --> 00:46:37,193
I would never let a girl go to my shrink.
629
00:46:37,194 --> 00:46:38,861
You should have seen her.
She was amazing.
630
00:46:38,862 --> 00:46:41,464
She completely defended me.
She really put him in his place.
631
00:46:41,465 --> 00:46:43,432
Well, she knows too much about you now.
632
00:46:43,433 --> 00:46:44,722
So?
633
00:46:45,035 --> 00:46:47,804
Well, I'd just be concerned
that she'd use it against me.
634
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:49,739
For what?
635
00:46:49,740 --> 00:46:51,174
Like a trump card.
636
00:46:51,175 --> 00:46:54,510
Whenever she wants, boom, she's got that.
637
00:46:54,511 --> 00:46:56,972
No, Sara would never do that.
638
00:46:59,383 --> 00:47:00,741
Okay.
639
00:47:01,852 --> 00:47:04,677
You know what? Okay.
640
00:47:05,522 --> 00:47:07,449
She sounds great.
641
00:47:09,159 --> 00:47:11,561
Want to get some work done
for a few hours?
642
00:47:11,562 --> 00:47:13,129
- Yeah.
- Great.
643
00:47:13,130 --> 00:47:15,193
Yeah, we can do that.
644
00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:18,768
HUDSON: After the first round
of individual drug trials failed,
645
00:47:18,769 --> 00:47:22,772
Dr. Richmond decided to bombard
all my neurotransmitters at once.
646
00:47:22,773 --> 00:47:26,809
So we combined... everything.
647
00:47:26,810 --> 00:47:31,747
Sertraline, bupropion, MAO inhibitors,
fluoxetine hydrochloride.
648
00:47:31,748 --> 00:47:33,182
It was like musical drugs,
649
00:47:33,183 --> 00:47:36,018
and when the music stopped,
I couldn't get a chair.
650
00:47:36,019 --> 00:47:38,421
I became numb to the labels.
651
00:47:38,422 --> 00:47:40,519
I just wanted relief.
652
00:47:41,391 --> 00:47:44,751
- Good luck with this one, Hudson.
- Thanks, Rick.
653
00:47:58,242 --> 00:48:00,643
(COMMENTATOR ON TV TALKING)
654
00:48:00,644 --> 00:48:02,411
(SARA SIGHS)
655
00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:11,177
We have to turn this off.
656
00:48:12,456 --> 00:48:14,849
Just one more tournament.
657
00:48:14,992 --> 00:48:16,919
(PEOPLE CHEERING ON TV)
658
00:48:29,206 --> 00:48:31,064
(SARA GIGGLING)
659
00:48:32,609 --> 00:48:34,968
(KISSING NOISES)
660
00:48:45,856 --> 00:48:48,317
How's your reality system now?
661
00:48:52,596 --> 00:48:54,329
Hey, let's...
662
00:48:57,100 --> 00:48:59,101
- Hey.
- Mmm?
663
00:48:59,102 --> 00:49:00,869
Let's get married.
664
00:49:02,105 --> 00:49:04,396
- What?
- Let's get married.
665
00:49:06,310 --> 00:49:08,441
- You're serious?
- Yeah.
666
00:49:13,450 --> 00:49:16,118
Hudson, marriage is a motherfucker
of a responsibility.
667
00:49:16,119 --> 00:49:17,579
I know.
668
00:49:18,989 --> 00:49:21,382
- And a lot of work.
- I know.
669
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:26,862
- You're not ready to get married.
- Yes, I am.
670
00:49:27,898 --> 00:49:31,258
And I want kids, you know, someday.
671
00:49:33,136 --> 00:49:34,937
- You think you can do that?
- Yes.
672
00:49:34,938 --> 00:49:36,405
- You don't?
- I didn't say that.
673
00:49:36,406 --> 00:49:39,542
I just think that maybe right now isn't
a good time to be talking about marriage,
674
00:49:39,543 --> 00:49:41,978
when you're going through this...
675
00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:44,513
- This thing.
- Yeah, you can say it.
676
00:49:44,514 --> 00:49:48,951
Fucked up state of mind that nobody
seems to have a clue what to do with.
677
00:49:48,952 --> 00:49:51,153
But I think you're gonna
work yourself through it.
678
00:49:51,154 --> 00:49:53,285
Well, what if I don't?
679
00:49:54,524 --> 00:49:56,052
You will.
680
00:49:58,395 --> 00:50:00,754
Right, but what if I don't?
681
00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:04,500
What if this is the way I'm gonna be
for the rest of my life?
682
00:50:04,501 --> 00:50:07,436
But I don't think that's the case. I...
683
00:50:07,437 --> 00:50:10,672
- You just need to stop being so...
- What?
684
00:50:12,642 --> 00:50:13,909
Negative.
685
00:50:13,910 --> 00:50:15,802
- Negative?
- Yeah.
686
00:50:17,347 --> 00:50:19,882
Negative. Well, I'm sorry
if the rest of the world
687
00:50:19,883 --> 00:50:23,586
was born with perfect brain synapses
and is walking around in la-la land,
688
00:50:23,587 --> 00:50:26,947
and I can't tell if this fucking flower is real!
689
00:50:36,099 --> 00:50:39,800
If you are just waiting around
for me to get better...
690
00:50:40,637 --> 00:50:42,268
This is it.
691
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,672
This is it.
692
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:04,427
HUDSON: Tom was right.
693
00:51:04,428 --> 00:51:07,296
In the best of worlds,
all I could bring her was unending grief
694
00:51:07,297 --> 00:51:11,727
and the need for constant reassurance
that I wouldn't lose my mind.
695
00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:17,940
It would only be a matter of time
before she couldn't take it anymore.
696
00:51:17,941 --> 00:51:20,937
Self-sabotage the best thing in my life?
697
00:51:21,978 --> 00:51:23,939
Of course I would.
698
00:51:34,491 --> 00:51:35,917
Ready?
699
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:45,124
What?
700
00:51:48,972 --> 00:51:51,006
You told me
you weren't gonna do this again.
701
00:51:51,007 --> 00:51:53,109
- I didn't.
- Stop it.
702
00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:54,243
Stop what?
703
00:51:54,244 --> 00:51:57,346
I know what you're trying to do.
Please don't.
704
00:51:57,347 --> 00:52:00,775
- What? What am I trying to do?
- You promised.
705
00:52:01,418 --> 00:52:04,753
Look, this is me, all right? It's just me.
706
00:52:04,754 --> 00:52:07,389
That's such a crock of shit.
707
00:52:07,390 --> 00:52:11,558
You want to end this?
You think you're so irre-fucking-deemable?
708
00:52:12,863 --> 00:52:14,528
Then end it.
709
00:52:15,398 --> 00:52:17,757
Come on, tell me it's over.
710
00:52:18,768 --> 00:52:20,933
But you have to say it.
711
00:52:30,747 --> 00:52:32,912
- Fuck!
- Fuck.
712
00:52:36,586 --> 00:52:38,251
(CAR DOOR CLOSING)
713
00:53:46,489 --> 00:53:48,457
Did you not hear me say that she would?
714
00:53:48,458 --> 00:53:52,561
She didn't do anything. I did this.
I fucked this up. Me.
715
00:53:52,562 --> 00:53:54,056
Okay.
716
00:53:54,731 --> 00:53:56,932
Okay, then, just go apologize.
717
00:53:56,933 --> 00:53:59,301
No, she deserves a normal person,
718
00:53:59,302 --> 00:54:03,439
not some kleptomaniac freak show
who's gonna
719
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:06,075
ask her to marry him.
720
00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:10,012
All right. All right, what you need now
is a different kind of woman.
721
00:54:10,013 --> 00:54:12,014
Why, so I can just play this shit out again?
722
00:54:12,015 --> 00:54:14,350
No, no, no. Stay with me.
723
00:54:14,351 --> 00:54:16,452
Ah, there she is. Look over there.
724
00:54:16,453 --> 00:54:21,383
Attractive, clearly a different woman.
Just go over there and talk. Huh?
725
00:54:21,891 --> 00:54:23,559
I can't.
726
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:25,327
Look at me.
727
00:54:25,328 --> 00:54:27,196
- Who's your best friend?
- Dave Wilson.
728
00:54:27,197 --> 00:54:28,987
In this city.
729
00:54:29,899 --> 00:54:31,800
- You.
- Thank you. Trust me, okay?
730
00:54:31,801 --> 00:54:33,469
You're hurting. I get that.
731
00:54:33,470 --> 00:54:36,672
This is the best and easiest way.
Just go over and talk. No proposals.
732
00:54:36,673 --> 00:54:39,408
Do not mention The Golf Channel.
Just talk to her.
733
00:54:39,409 --> 00:54:42,644
Okay, she's on the move.
Make your move. Now.
734
00:54:43,580 --> 00:54:45,714
- Go.
- She's going to the bathroom.
735
00:54:45,715 --> 00:54:48,779
Perfect! Go. Go, go, go.
736
00:55:14,411 --> 00:55:16,779
You are not gonna believe this.
She's a doctor.
737
00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:19,448
She specializes in cognitive behaviorism.
738
00:55:19,449 --> 00:55:22,115
That's incredible, and she's hot.
739
00:55:26,456 --> 00:55:28,157
HUDSON: Cognitive behaviorism.
740
00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:30,092
The deal was
you could change the way you felt
741
00:55:30,093 --> 00:55:32,027
by altering your negative thinking.
742
00:55:32,028 --> 00:55:36,565
Would it work? I highly doubted it.
But, my God, she was qualified.
743
00:55:36,566 --> 00:55:38,600
A tenured professor at UCLA,
744
00:55:38,601 --> 00:55:42,104
a Master's in psychology from Stanford,
another from Cambridge,
745
00:55:42,105 --> 00:55:45,841
published books on anxiety,
articles in prestigious medical journals.
746
00:55:45,842 --> 00:55:47,142
Exactly what I needed.
747
00:55:47,143 --> 00:55:48,844
When you say,
748
00:55:48,845 --> 00:55:52,281
"I hate myself for blowing it
with the woman of my dreams".
749
00:55:52,282 --> 00:55:56,185
That's an example of magnification.
750
00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:58,687
A better way to express it would be,
751
00:55:58,688 --> 00:56:02,958
"At the moment, I'm disappointed
that we're no longer together,
752
00:56:02,959 --> 00:56:05,394
"but many relationships don't work out.
753
00:56:05,395 --> 00:56:09,529
"What can I do
to change my behavior next time?"
754
00:56:09,933 --> 00:56:11,757
Are you married?
755
00:56:12,902 --> 00:56:15,932
Another area we'll work on is labeling.
756
00:56:18,942 --> 00:56:23,011
Right, but is there a Mr. Dr. Blaine?
757
00:56:23,012 --> 00:56:26,839
I don't think that's really important
to your treatment.
758
00:56:29,285 --> 00:56:33,522
- Where are you from?
- We're not here to talk about me.
759
00:56:33,523 --> 00:56:34,881
Okay.
760
00:56:36,259 --> 00:56:39,187
But it's Texas, right?
761
00:56:42,098 --> 00:56:43,626
Arkansas.
762
00:56:44,067 --> 00:56:45,434
Okay?
763
00:56:45,435 --> 00:56:46,668
HUDSON: Unlike most therapists,
764
00:56:46,669 --> 00:56:49,738
who would never think of leaving
the comfort of their offices,
765
00:56:49,739 --> 00:56:53,031
Dr. Blaine actually took her patients
into the field.
766
00:56:54,577 --> 00:56:56,071
I can't.
767
00:56:57,380 --> 00:56:59,581
There is absolutely no connection
768
00:56:59,582 --> 00:57:03,419
between saying a word
and the health of your father.
769
00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:04,653
But why tempt fate?
770
00:57:04,654 --> 00:57:08,651
Because it will lower your anxiety
and help you get better.
771
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:12,953
All right, give me a second.
772
00:57:15,565 --> 00:57:17,765
(EXHALING)
773
00:57:18,368 --> 00:57:20,602
You can do this, Hudson.
774
00:57:24,941 --> 00:57:26,367
Death.
775
00:57:31,314 --> 00:57:34,950
It worked.
He's okay. He's trimming the hedges.
776
00:57:34,951 --> 00:57:36,275
See?
777
00:57:38,288 --> 00:57:41,250
Has a patient ever asked you out before?
778
00:57:42,425 --> 00:57:43,992
It happens.
779
00:57:43,993 --> 00:57:46,454
- Do you ever say yes?
- Never.
780
00:57:47,397 --> 00:57:49,965
How about dinner with me?
781
00:57:49,966 --> 00:57:51,893
I don't think so.
782
00:57:52,402 --> 00:57:54,636
Because we have
a professional relationship?
783
00:57:54,637 --> 00:57:56,205
Exactly.
784
00:57:56,206 --> 00:57:59,274
Well, what if I stopped seeing you?
785
00:57:59,275 --> 00:58:01,109
I don't think that would be wise.
786
00:58:01,110 --> 00:58:04,538
Right, but what's the rule
on that kind of thing?
787
00:58:06,583 --> 00:58:11,286
You're very sweet, Hudson,
but my only concern is that you get better.
788
00:58:11,888 --> 00:58:14,656
Is that why you blushed back there?
789
00:58:19,963 --> 00:58:22,865
HUDSON: As a way to recovery,
Dr. Blaine thought it a good idea
790
00:58:22,866 --> 00:58:27,402
to e-mail me cognitive exercises
I could practice outside our sessions.
791
00:58:27,403 --> 00:58:31,036
First assignment,
monitor my daily negative thoughts.
792
00:58:53,630 --> 00:58:55,488
(PHONE RINGS)
793
00:58:57,667 --> 00:59:01,061
- Hello.
- (ON TELEPHONE) Hudson, it's Dr. Blaine.
794
00:59:02,305 --> 00:59:04,072
Are you busy?
795
00:59:04,974 --> 00:59:08,043
No, I'm just doing
a little cognitive homework.
796
00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:09,645
Good.
797
00:59:09,646 --> 00:59:10,879
Well, the reason I'm calling
798
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:14,816
is that I found a very interesting article
on cortisol levels
799
00:59:14,817 --> 00:59:17,185
I think may be of some help.
800
00:59:17,186 --> 00:59:20,022
You may want to take a look at it.
801
00:59:20,023 --> 00:59:23,520
- Really?
- In fact, I have it with me now.
802
00:59:24,394 --> 00:59:26,025
Yes, absolutely.
803
00:59:26,329 --> 00:59:30,432
It explains how high cortisol levels
increase adrenaline,
804
00:59:30,433 --> 00:59:35,067
which could have a bearing
on the feeling of depersonalization.
805
00:59:35,271 --> 00:59:36,538
Interesting.
806
00:59:36,539 --> 00:59:38,170
DR. BLAINE: Hmm.
807
00:59:38,441 --> 00:59:41,710
So I'll do some more reading
over the weekend.
808
00:59:41,711 --> 00:59:43,979
I hope I didn't make you drive too far.
809
00:59:43,980 --> 00:59:47,349
No, my shack
is only about five minutes away.
810
00:59:47,350 --> 00:59:48,817
Shack?
811
00:59:48,818 --> 00:59:51,450
Well, I'm sure it's not a shack.
812
00:59:54,791 --> 00:59:56,251
My God.
813
00:59:58,094 --> 00:59:59,995
It is a shack.
814
00:59:59,996 --> 01:00:03,663
Yeah, it's the only place
I feel even close to okay.
815
01:00:07,070 --> 01:00:09,463
Almost like a sanctuary.
816
01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:16,979
- I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
- Thanks.
817
01:00:16,980 --> 01:00:19,271
- It's not fair.
- Thank you.
818
01:00:22,118 --> 01:00:23,976
And I did blush.
819
01:00:26,589 --> 01:00:28,186
I knew it.
820
01:00:30,126 --> 01:00:35,056
I just think, therapeutically,
it's important to bring it out in the open.
821
01:00:35,999 --> 01:00:38,290
I do find you very
822
01:00:39,302 --> 01:00:41,803
charming, attractive and funny.
823
01:00:41,804 --> 01:00:46,370
But things as they are,
nothing can ever happen on that level.
824
01:00:47,477 --> 01:00:49,074
I'm sorry.
825
01:00:52,949 --> 01:00:54,449
(DOOR OPENING)
826
01:00:54,450 --> 01:00:57,048
- The door...
- Sticks.
827
01:01:01,924 --> 01:01:03,714
(GROANING)
828
01:01:16,339 --> 01:01:18,206
- Bullshit.
- She said it was the first time
829
01:01:18,207 --> 01:01:21,143
she'd had sex in seven years.
830
01:01:21,144 --> 01:01:23,145
- Bullshit.
- It was like having a wounded animal
831
01:01:23,146 --> 01:01:24,813
on top of me.
832
01:01:24,814 --> 01:01:27,708
- That is so wrong.
- Well, what do I do?
833
01:01:28,351 --> 01:01:32,254
Isn't it obvious?
Try to see her without having to pay.
834
01:01:32,255 --> 01:01:34,989
Hi. Yeah. Let me get
two of the chocolate things there.
835
01:01:38,594 --> 01:01:42,853
It is absolutely my fault. Inexcusable.
836
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:47,202
I want you to know
that I have spoken to a colleague
837
01:01:47,203 --> 01:01:51,132
to find someone to take over your sessions.
838
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:54,142
Who can make me say "death"?
839
01:01:54,143 --> 01:01:57,212
There is no other way here.
840
01:01:57,213 --> 01:01:59,447
I could lose my license.
841
01:02:00,249 --> 01:02:03,785
I can't see another therapist.
It has to be you.
842
01:02:03,786 --> 01:02:07,647
Hudson, a terrible line has been crossed.
843
01:02:09,092 --> 01:02:12,190
Can't we just forget about what happened?
844
01:02:19,836 --> 01:02:21,763
You could do that?
845
01:02:26,008 --> 01:02:27,332
Yes.
846
01:02:28,344 --> 01:02:30,043
(GROANING)
847
01:02:36,085 --> 01:02:37,986
HUDSON: The first time was exciting.
848
01:02:37,987 --> 01:02:41,490
Now having her writhe all over me,
I realized I was letting her use me,
849
01:02:41,491 --> 01:02:44,826
so I could use her,
so she'd work harder at making me better.
850
01:02:44,827 --> 01:02:47,391
I had become a cognitive whore.
851
01:02:49,298 --> 01:02:50,699
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Dr. Blaine here again.
852
01:02:50,700 --> 01:02:54,636
If we could talk before noon, Hudson,
that would be good for me.
853
01:02:54,637 --> 01:02:55,904
(BEEP)
854
01:02:55,905 --> 01:02:58,507
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Hey, it's Tom.
I'm here writing and you're not.
855
01:02:58,508 --> 01:03:00,242
That's okay. Just another reminder,
856
01:03:00,243 --> 01:03:02,043
we've got our biggest pitch ever
next week, so...
857
01:03:02,044 --> 01:03:05,113
Head of production, that kind of a guy.
Chance of a lifetime, partner.
858
01:03:05,114 --> 01:03:08,550
Just need you firing all selling cylinders.
Call me.
859
01:03:08,551 --> 01:03:10,152
(BEEP)
860
01:03:10,153 --> 01:03:12,648
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Hudson, it's Dr. Blaine again.
861
01:03:14,123 --> 01:03:19,019
Call me at home when you can.
I hope I haven't filled up your machine.
862
01:03:19,295 --> 01:03:20,796
(BEEP)
863
01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,327
AUTOMATED VOICE (ON
ANSWERING MACHINE): The machine is full.
864
01:03:31,607 --> 01:03:35,900
So, is it this, prune juice and then death?
Is that the trifecta?
865
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:39,948
Seriously, are you still banging that shrink?
866
01:03:39,949 --> 01:03:42,517
I'm afraid to break it off.
867
01:03:42,518 --> 01:03:44,219
She's doing all this extra research for me.
868
01:03:44,220 --> 01:03:46,621
She's even canceling her appointments
with other patients.
869
01:03:46,622 --> 01:03:49,049
- This could get bad.
- Hudson.
870
01:03:51,861 --> 01:03:54,721
- Oh, God.
- It got bad. It got bad.
871
01:03:55,698 --> 01:03:57,833
I think we should have some lunch.
872
01:03:57,834 --> 01:04:00,762
- What do I do?
- Have lunch. Have lunch.
873
01:04:10,279 --> 01:04:15,278
I thought it would be safer
to say what I'm about to say in public.
874
01:04:16,452 --> 01:04:20,222
Obviously, something has happened
to my emotions.
875
01:04:20,223 --> 01:04:23,014
My behavior has been... Fuck off!
876
01:04:25,528 --> 01:04:27,629
Unacceptable.
877
01:04:27,630 --> 01:04:30,599
- Well, that can happen.
- No, it can't.
878
01:04:30,600 --> 01:04:34,536
Did you witness my tone
with the waiter just then?
879
01:04:34,537 --> 01:04:37,072
I did catch that, yeah.
880
01:04:37,073 --> 01:04:42,010
It has to stop, Hudson. Us, we, this.
881
01:04:42,011 --> 01:04:43,345
I agree.
882
01:04:43,346 --> 01:04:48,083
I was up all night
analyzing my actions, berating myself,
883
01:04:48,084 --> 01:04:49,651
abhorring myself.
884
01:04:49,652 --> 01:04:52,320
I go to sleep that way every night so...
885
01:04:52,321 --> 01:04:54,956
- Thank you for saying that.
- Sure.
886
01:04:54,957 --> 01:05:00,729
I suppose I have spent so many years
listening to other people's feelings
887
01:05:00,730 --> 01:05:02,697
that I've neglected my own.
888
01:05:02,698 --> 01:05:04,766
And it's all coming out now, here,
889
01:05:04,767 --> 01:05:06,501
in the restaurant,
in front of all these people?
890
01:05:06,502 --> 01:05:08,292
Mmm.
891
01:05:08,771 --> 01:05:12,666
Which is something I have to deal with,
and I will deal with.
892
01:05:13,709 --> 01:05:16,678
(LAUGHS) Oh, I feel so much better.
893
01:05:16,679 --> 01:05:21,643
- Oh, my God, even my hunger is back.
- Oh, well, the tuna melt looks good.
894
01:05:24,220 --> 01:05:27,250
It's no good. I love you, Hudson.
895
01:05:29,258 --> 01:05:31,822
- What?
- I love you!
896
01:05:34,497 --> 01:05:36,628
Oh, God. Oh, God.
897
01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:41,636
I am so sorry.
I didn't mean to raise my voice like that.
898
01:05:41,637 --> 01:05:43,805
I thought you...
I thought you were dealing with it.
899
01:05:43,806 --> 01:05:48,143
I am, I am.
It's just I cannot get you out of my mind.
900
01:05:48,144 --> 01:05:50,679
Sure you can. Sure you can.
Look at me, I'm a mess.
901
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:53,848
You don't want that. I'm flattered
that you think that you have these feelings...
902
01:05:53,849 --> 01:05:55,884
No, no, I don't think. I have them.
903
01:05:55,885 --> 01:05:58,153
Fifteen years of cognitive training,
904
01:05:58,154 --> 01:06:01,753
I might just know
a little something about feelings.
905
01:06:02,992 --> 01:06:04,725
Oh, God.
906
01:06:05,561 --> 01:06:06,962
God, what is wrong with me?
907
01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:09,297
- I'm acting like an insane person.
- No.
908
01:06:09,298 --> 01:06:10,899
- Forgive me?
- Yes.
909
01:06:10,900 --> 01:06:13,268
- Will you forgive me?
- Yes.
910
01:06:13,269 --> 01:06:15,370
- I think we should go.
- Sure.
911
01:06:15,371 --> 01:06:17,672
But first, may I just ask one question?
912
01:06:17,673 --> 01:06:19,574
Why don't we wait
till we get out of the restaurant?
913
01:06:19,575 --> 01:06:23,178
No, no, no. Need to know now.
914
01:06:23,179 --> 01:06:28,507
Do you think, under different circumstances,
you would feel the same way about me?
915
01:06:29,852 --> 01:06:32,347
I think you need to calm down.
916
01:06:32,788 --> 01:06:35,056
Calm down? Oh.
917
01:06:36,258 --> 01:06:38,293
I think I know how I am.
918
01:06:38,294 --> 01:06:40,795
And I certainly know how you are.
919
01:06:40,796 --> 01:06:45,467
A walking generalized anxiety disorder
with rapid cycling issues,
920
01:06:45,468 --> 01:06:49,938
precipitous abandonment,
a tendency toward hypomania, possibly,
921
01:06:49,939 --> 01:06:53,731
who's magnifying all over the place!
922
01:06:54,944 --> 01:06:56,575
I love you!
923
01:07:02,151 --> 01:07:03,251
Uh...
924
01:07:03,252 --> 01:07:04,644
Run.
925
01:07:05,054 --> 01:07:06,354
Uh...
926
01:07:06,355 --> 01:07:10,191
It just occurred to me,
I haven't even met your family.
927
01:07:10,192 --> 01:07:12,756
So, how'd it go with the therapist?
928
01:07:15,197 --> 01:07:16,364
(BEEP)
929
01:07:16,365 --> 01:07:19,434
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Mr. Milbank?
This is the office of Professor Paula Simon,
930
01:07:19,435 --> 01:07:21,036
Mount Sinai School of Medicine.
931
01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:24,272
We received your inquiry
regarding your depersonalization study,
932
01:07:24,273 --> 01:07:26,207
and a spot has become available.
933
01:07:26,208 --> 01:07:29,068
Please contact us at your convenience.
934
01:07:31,013 --> 01:07:33,982
HUDSON: Dr. Paula Simon
was the only doctor in North America
935
01:07:33,983 --> 01:07:37,185
researching depersonalization specifically,
936
01:07:37,186 --> 01:07:40,955
but I was determined to get through
the four-day intensive, no matter what.
937
01:07:40,956 --> 01:07:44,192
Plus, it would be a relief
to finally meet other depersonalized people
938
01:07:44,193 --> 01:07:47,519
as I was beginning to think
I was the only one.
939
01:07:59,775 --> 01:08:02,510
- Where are the others?
- Others?
940
01:08:02,511 --> 01:08:05,013
Other crazy test patients like me?
941
01:08:05,014 --> 01:08:06,714
It's just you this weekend, sweetheart.
942
01:08:06,715 --> 01:08:10,576
I'll draw your blood
every hour on the hour for 72 hours.
943
01:08:13,422 --> 01:08:15,390
You're kidding.
944
01:08:15,391 --> 01:08:17,892
You know, it's funny. Everyone says that.
945
01:08:17,893 --> 01:08:19,990
You'll see Dr. Simon on Sunday.
946
01:08:20,329 --> 01:08:22,530
I'm the most selfish person in the world.
947
01:08:22,531 --> 01:08:26,995
I blew the best thing that ever
happened to me because I was afraid.
948
01:08:30,039 --> 01:08:32,273
I'll see you in an hour.
949
01:08:33,409 --> 01:08:37,812
Count backwards from 2,004
in groups of seven.
950
01:08:37,813 --> 01:08:40,581
If you make a mistake, begin again.
951
01:08:41,217 --> 01:08:43,382
1,997,
952
01:08:44,086 --> 01:08:45,910
1,990.
953
01:08:48,791 --> 01:08:52,117
Have any of you guys
ever slept with a patient?
954
01:08:57,266 --> 01:09:00,268
HUDSON: All my attention
should have been at the tests at hand,
955
01:09:00,269 --> 01:09:04,005
but for the first time,
I wasn't thinking about my condition at all.
956
01:09:04,006 --> 01:09:05,898
It was just Sara.
957
01:09:14,683 --> 01:09:17,508
You have depersonalization disorder.
958
01:09:21,857 --> 01:09:24,192
Well, I know that.
959
01:09:24,193 --> 01:09:27,328
- How do I get rid of it?
- We don't know at this time.
960
01:09:27,329 --> 01:09:29,531
Well, you have to.
There's a great girl involved here.
961
01:09:29,532 --> 01:09:31,065
I've heard.
962
01:09:31,066 --> 01:09:33,801
- What about the pot?
- Triggered what was already there.
963
01:09:33,802 --> 01:09:36,204
It probably would have
happened eventually.
964
01:09:36,205 --> 01:09:38,173
But not definitely?
965
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:39,474
Based on our current research,
966
01:09:39,475 --> 01:09:42,944
there was more than likely
a predisposition there.
967
01:09:42,945 --> 01:09:44,612
So, what do I do?
968
01:09:44,613 --> 01:09:46,848
- There are medications.
- I've taken them all.
969
01:09:46,849 --> 01:09:48,683
- And therapies.
- I've done them.
970
01:09:48,684 --> 01:09:51,853
Then I suggest you try to accept it.
971
01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:54,418
You suggest I try to accept it?
972
01:09:55,224 --> 01:09:58,393
I do know of an excellent
cognitive behaviorist at UCLA
973
01:09:58,394 --> 01:10:00,161
who's proven helpful.
974
01:10:03,332 --> 01:10:05,259
(SIGHING)
975
01:10:35,898 --> 01:10:38,733
4.2 feet of cubic space back here.
976
01:10:38,734 --> 01:10:41,970
- You won't find that in a Mercedes.
- I'll take it.
977
01:10:41,971 --> 01:10:46,207
Very bright and airy, beautiful backyard,
stunning hardwood floors.
978
01:10:46,208 --> 01:10:48,908
- A very pretty yard.
- I'll take it.
979
01:11:00,789 --> 01:11:05,150
- Oh, good. Tim. Tim, where is she?
- She's gone.
980
01:11:06,161 --> 01:11:08,129
- What?
- She left with some guy.
981
01:11:08,130 --> 01:11:10,330
- Where?
- Maui.
982
01:11:35,190 --> 01:11:38,526
Look, an airport cab
came to pick her up two hours ago.
983
01:11:38,527 --> 01:11:40,461
- Does that help?
- Which airline?
984
01:11:40,462 --> 01:11:42,897
I'm only doing this because
I dislike him more than I dislike you.
985
01:11:42,898 --> 01:11:45,860
- Which airline?
- Delta.
986
01:11:58,614 --> 01:12:00,472
You'll be towed!
987
01:12:24,440 --> 01:12:26,571
Hold on just a second.
988
01:12:29,912 --> 01:12:33,114
- Hudson, what are you doing here?
- Don't do this.
989
01:12:33,115 --> 01:12:35,350
This guy can't make you swear
the way I can.
990
01:12:35,351 --> 01:12:37,778
- Go home.
- Home to what?
991
01:12:38,921 --> 01:12:40,788
You're the only one I can be myself around.
992
01:12:40,789 --> 01:12:43,858
You're the only one
I can be comfortable with.
993
01:12:43,859 --> 01:12:48,930
I bought a new house and a car
and I'm getting a smaller TV.
994
01:12:48,931 --> 01:12:52,567
Hudson, it's not about
a house or a car or a TV.
995
01:12:52,568 --> 01:12:55,268
Okay, how about this? I love you.
996
01:12:57,072 --> 01:12:58,862
Don't say that.
997
01:13:00,409 --> 01:13:03,405
You could save me and you won't even try.
998
01:13:07,616 --> 01:13:09,110
Sara.
999
01:13:11,987 --> 01:13:13,515
Let's go.
1000
01:13:25,968 --> 01:13:27,997
(PHONE RINGING)
1001
01:13:28,604 --> 01:13:29,904
Fuck.
1002
01:13:29,905 --> 01:13:31,638
(CONTINUES RINGING)
1003
01:13:37,012 --> 01:13:38,438
Hello.
1004
01:14:30,699 --> 01:14:32,227
(SIGHS)
1005
01:14:32,434 --> 01:14:34,099
Can we talk?
1006
01:14:36,572 --> 01:14:38,005
I'm busy.
1007
01:14:38,006 --> 01:14:39,106
Mmm-hmm.
1008
01:14:39,107 --> 01:14:41,309
Our dad just died
and you're doing business on the phone?
1009
01:14:41,310 --> 01:14:43,277
It's nothing. It's just my brother. Go ahead.
1010
01:14:43,278 --> 01:14:45,773
You wanna get off the phone?
1011
01:14:48,817 --> 01:14:51,449
What the hell is wrong with you?
1012
01:15:12,207 --> 01:15:14,208
Hudson?
1013
01:15:14,209 --> 01:15:16,344
What are you doing?
1014
01:15:16,345 --> 01:15:17,839
Nothing.
1015
01:15:20,782 --> 01:15:24,018
- What happened with you and your brother?
- It doesn't matter.
1016
01:15:24,019 --> 01:15:28,312
That's what he said.
You ought to be downstairs with the others.
1017
01:15:30,125 --> 01:15:32,154
Would you stop that?
1018
01:15:33,595 --> 01:15:35,624
Would you stop that?
1019
01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:38,857
God damn it!
1020
01:15:41,603 --> 01:15:44,038
What is wrong with you?
1021
01:15:44,039 --> 01:15:46,807
Why have you always been so angry at me?
1022
01:15:46,808 --> 01:15:48,943
Are you kidding?
1023
01:15:48,944 --> 01:15:52,680
You know, they say the first three years
of a child's life are the most essential.
1024
01:15:52,681 --> 01:15:56,717
I'm just curious, were you bouncing me
on my head during that time?
1025
01:15:56,718 --> 01:15:59,620
I'd really like to know
how I turned out this way.
1026
01:15:59,621 --> 01:16:04,058
Well, it wasn't easy for me, either, Hudson.
1027
01:16:04,059 --> 01:16:07,161
Do you have any idea
what a selfish boy you were?
1028
01:16:07,162 --> 01:16:10,164
I was a kid. Kids are supposed to be selfish.
1029
01:16:10,165 --> 01:16:11,933
Okay, fine.
1030
01:16:11,934 --> 01:16:15,570
I was a terrible mother!
Is that what you wanna hear?
1031
01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:18,169
Yeah, that's what I wanna hear!
1032
01:16:28,750 --> 01:16:30,278
I just...
1033
01:16:31,453 --> 01:16:32,720
(SIGHS)
1034
01:16:36,258 --> 01:16:37,889
I always...
1035
01:16:39,861 --> 01:16:44,325
Of all the children, I thought that you and I,
1036
01:16:47,269 --> 01:16:49,400
we're the most alike.
1037
01:16:57,346 --> 01:16:59,739
Well, that's certainly true.
1038
01:17:01,183 --> 01:17:05,146
Maybe I wasn't as nurturing
as I should have been.
1039
01:17:11,493 --> 01:17:16,059
Well, that must have been
really hard for you to say.
1040
01:17:37,019 --> 01:17:38,786
HUDSON: My theory was simple.
1041
01:17:38,787 --> 01:17:40,788
If smoking marijuana
triggered my problems,
1042
01:17:40,789 --> 01:17:46,027
smoking even more would reverse it,
shocking my synapses back to normal.
1043
01:17:46,028 --> 01:17:47,561
There was no science behind this,
1044
01:17:47,562 --> 01:17:50,965
just gut feeling
mixed with sheer desperation.
1045
01:17:50,966 --> 01:17:53,434
Was I scared? Absolutely.
1046
01:17:53,435 --> 01:17:55,760
Would it work? It had to.
1047
01:18:14,956 --> 01:18:16,723
You're okay.
1048
01:18:20,429 --> 01:18:22,458
Is that all you got?
1049
01:18:34,543 --> 01:18:36,674
Is that all you got?
1050
01:18:57,232 --> 01:18:58,726
God, no.
1051
01:19:03,105 --> 01:19:05,206
HUDSON: I needed a quick fix of manic
adrenaline,
1052
01:19:05,207 --> 01:19:07,842
to snap me back into a semblance of reality.
1053
01:19:07,843 --> 01:19:11,374
Hell, I deserved it,
and I knew just the remedy.
1054
01:19:15,317 --> 01:19:16,641
MAN: Hey!
1055
01:19:37,439 --> 01:19:39,172
(SIREN APPROACHING)
1056
01:20:10,205 --> 01:20:12,439
What are you staring at?
1057
01:20:22,250 --> 01:20:25,485
Probably best
to keep it low-key around here.
1058
01:20:28,757 --> 01:20:30,786
So, what did you do?
1059
01:20:32,027 --> 01:20:34,591
Shoplifted a pair of Aerosoles.
1060
01:20:36,264 --> 01:20:37,861
Good shoe.
1061
01:20:41,903 --> 01:20:43,761
What did you do?
1062
01:20:44,573 --> 01:20:46,067
Nothing.
1063
01:20:47,609 --> 01:20:49,968
Well, they don't like that.
1064
01:20:51,546 --> 01:20:54,337
(BREATHING)
1065
01:20:56,785 --> 01:20:59,747
- Hey, it's gonna be okay.
- No, it's not.
1066
01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:02,787
I miss Sara.
1067
01:21:05,193 --> 01:21:07,328
I don't think
I can be a writer anymore,
1068
01:21:07,329 --> 01:21:09,620
and I am completely alone.
1069
01:21:16,338 --> 01:21:18,572
Do I look familiar to you?
1070
01:21:21,910 --> 01:21:26,112
I've passed you and your dog
outside the grocery store a hundred times.
1071
01:21:28,016 --> 01:21:31,342
A hundred times,
and I never gave you anything.
1072
01:21:32,487 --> 01:21:33,947
I know.
1073
01:21:36,691 --> 01:21:39,960
Look, I'll wait here with you.
1074
01:21:55,343 --> 01:21:57,941
So, is that real enough for you?
1075
01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:18,332
HUDSON: Maybe Dr. Simon was right.
1076
01:22:18,333 --> 01:22:21,335
Maybe I had a predisposition all along.
1077
01:22:21,336 --> 01:22:24,371
The pot was just an easy excuse to pin it on.
1078
01:22:24,372 --> 01:22:26,902
And maybe it was just me.
1079
01:22:27,742 --> 01:22:29,634
I was my problem.
1080
01:22:30,045 --> 01:22:32,446
Maybe my dad had it right.
1081
01:22:32,447 --> 01:22:35,841
Just pull up my socks
and get out of my own way.
1082
01:22:49,731 --> 01:22:51,932
- Hi.
- Hello.
1083
01:22:51,933 --> 01:22:54,001
I'm here to tell you that I love you.
1084
01:22:54,002 --> 01:22:56,704
Now, even though I know
you're gonna say, "Yeah, so?"
1085
01:22:56,705 --> 01:22:58,597
I still love you.
1086
01:23:02,243 --> 01:23:03,444
Okay.
1087
01:23:03,445 --> 01:23:05,440
- See you.
- Yup.
1088
01:23:08,083 --> 01:23:11,051
Hudson, I think you're making a big mistake.
1089
01:23:11,052 --> 01:23:15,186
We need to have a session
to discuss you ending your sessions.
1090
01:23:16,491 --> 01:23:18,058
This is your brain chemistry talking.
1091
01:23:18,059 --> 01:23:21,628
There are new medications
coming out all the time.
1092
01:23:21,629 --> 01:23:23,897
This should square us up.
1093
01:23:44,119 --> 01:23:46,182
This your first time?
1094
01:23:47,355 --> 01:23:49,350
I'll wait with you.
1095
01:23:58,633 --> 01:24:02,136
Oh, my God, you're so late.
1096
01:24:02,137 --> 01:24:04,772
- Hudson Milbank.
- God, you are so late.
1097
01:24:04,773 --> 01:24:07,439
- Hudson Milbank.
- You are so late.
1098
01:24:14,049 --> 01:24:15,714
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
1099
01:24:28,963 --> 01:24:31,288
- Sorry I'm late.
- No problem.
1100
01:24:32,700 --> 01:24:35,202
We understand
that you can buy in the room,
1101
01:24:35,203 --> 01:24:37,404
and my partner is very excited about that.
1102
01:24:37,405 --> 01:24:40,774
So excited that we've worked really hard
for the last couple of weeks
1103
01:24:40,775 --> 01:24:44,211
to come up with something
great for you here today.
1104
01:24:44,212 --> 01:24:46,547
Well, that's not true.
He's been working really hard.
1105
01:24:46,548 --> 01:24:49,908
See, he's the writer.
He's a really good writer.
1106
01:24:52,587 --> 01:24:55,155
The only thing I'm really good at
is bullshitting all of you guys,
1107
01:24:55,156 --> 01:24:57,591
and that's just not enough
for me to be good at anymore,
1108
01:24:57,592 --> 01:24:59,587
so I'm gonna go.
1109
01:25:01,129 --> 01:25:04,098
Yeah, I'm gonna go.
Tom will take this home for you.
1110
01:25:04,099 --> 01:25:07,134
I'll put your name first.
I'll put your name first.
1111
01:25:07,135 --> 01:25:09,403
You know you can do this.
1112
01:25:17,812 --> 01:25:19,943
Do you need validation?
1113
01:25:28,323 --> 01:25:33,060
You want to hear the $50 million version
or the $100 million version?
1114
01:25:41,569 --> 01:25:44,905
There you go, guys.
They were out of organic bananas.
1115
01:25:44,906 --> 01:25:46,537
Thanks.
1116
01:25:46,641 --> 01:25:48,806
So, how's Sara?
1117
01:25:50,111 --> 01:25:51,378
(SNICKERS)
1118
01:25:51,379 --> 01:25:52,873
She's...
1119
01:25:58,786 --> 01:26:01,384
Right there. She's right there.
1120
01:26:02,957 --> 01:26:05,282
- Are you okay?
- I'm great.
1121
01:26:18,406 --> 01:26:19,695
Hi.
1122
01:26:21,209 --> 01:26:22,703
God, hi.
1123
01:26:23,444 --> 01:26:25,712
- How are you?
- I'm good.
1124
01:26:26,281 --> 01:26:27,639
Good.
1125
01:26:28,416 --> 01:26:30,551
- How are you?
- I'm good.
1126
01:26:30,552 --> 01:26:32,513
- Good.
- I'm better.
1127
01:26:33,488 --> 01:26:36,256
I mean, I'm not ever gonna be normal.
1128
01:26:37,091 --> 01:26:39,426
I'm still gonna be
much more comfortable at 4:45
1129
01:26:39,427 --> 01:26:42,127
on the corner of Ventura and Woodman.
1130
01:26:44,799 --> 01:26:46,300
Hey, look, I don't wanna hold you up.
1131
01:26:46,301 --> 01:26:48,969
I just want to let you know
that if you lost all your limbs,
1132
01:26:48,970 --> 01:26:51,238
we'd still be together forever.
1133
01:26:52,473 --> 01:26:58,109
I mean, I really hope that doesn't happen
because I think your limbs are pretty great.
1134
01:27:00,848 --> 01:27:04,515
And when I said your name,
it would always sound safe.
1135
01:27:08,189 --> 01:27:11,625
I'm not sure about the perfume and
the cologne thing, but I could try, you know.
1136
01:27:11,626 --> 01:27:14,121
I mean, I could pick some up.
1137
01:27:16,264 --> 01:27:19,299
I would always try
to make you smile when you're tired.
1138
01:27:19,300 --> 01:27:23,934
I know you think that's really hard to do,
but I think I could do that.
1139
01:27:27,542 --> 01:27:31,278
And you'd never have to be scared
to tell me anything.
1140
01:27:33,648 --> 01:27:37,816
And if you like this shirt,
I wouldn't take it off for a month.
1141
01:27:40,922 --> 01:27:43,423
And I'd be more than willing
to paint your grandmother's toenails
1142
01:27:43,424 --> 01:27:46,887
so your grandfather
doesn't have to do it anymore.
1143
01:27:52,033 --> 01:27:54,563
You don't have to save me, Sara.
1144
01:27:55,937 --> 01:27:58,305
But I am gonna love you
for the rest of my life,
1145
01:27:58,306 --> 01:28:01,939
so things would be a lot better for me
if you were around.
1146
01:28:23,798 --> 01:28:25,156
Okay.
1147
01:28:34,809 --> 01:28:36,633
(ALARM BEEPING)
1148
01:28:40,782 --> 01:28:42,242
(FLY BUZZING)
1149
01:28:48,790 --> 01:28:50,216
(BUZZING STOPS)