1 00:00:05,420 --> 00:00:08,820 ''And that's when the great Chinese wizard Li first used dragon scales 2 00:00:08,950 --> 00:00:12,480 to build an impenetrable box for safeguarding one's wand. 3 00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:14,780 And then in the 12th century, there were nine native--'' 4 00:00:14,930 --> 00:00:16,720 Time. 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,220 You're supposed to keep your oral reports under 45 minutes. 6 00:00:20,370 --> 00:00:21,800 Otherwise, you start losing people. 7 00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:23,300 Okay, Alex, you're up. 8 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,430 - Alex? - Oh, yeah. 9 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,600 Your report on crystal balls: history, usage, and manufacturing. 10 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,500 Crystal balls: usage and manufacturing. 11 00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:38,750 Oh, l did mine on how to use the really little ones for earrings. 12 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:39,940 Cute, huh? 13 00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:43,080 End of report. 14 00:00:43,390 --> 00:00:44,550 You'll try it again tomorrow. 15 00:00:44,690 --> 00:00:47,520 - Max, you're up. - Okay. 16 00:00:48,060 --> 00:00:51,320 Caldrons: proper use and maintenance. 17 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,190 How did all these people get in my room? 18 00:00:55,330 --> 00:00:57,430 - Oh, Uncle Kelbo. - Uncle Kelbo. 19 00:00:57,570 --> 00:00:59,660 Hello, future voters. 20 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,840 Sorry for dropping in unexpectedly. 21 00:01:01,970 --> 00:01:03,370 Wanted to see my niece and nephews. 22 00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:06,640 Kelbo, what did l say about poofing in when you visit? 23 00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:09,300 Oh, right, right, right. lt sets off the smoke alarms. 24 00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:11,410 So, what are you guys up to? 25 00:01:11,550 --> 00:01:14,250 We're doing boring oral reports without magic. 26 00:01:14,390 --> 00:01:15,780 You know you're wizards, right? 27 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:20,150 Well, lots of times, Dad wants us to study magic without actually using magic. 28 00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:22,420 Well, that's because he can't do magic. 29 00:01:23,190 --> 00:01:24,420 You know what l say. 30 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:28,330 Those who can't take hamburger and turn it into delicious filet mignon, 31 00:01:28,470 --> 00:01:29,900 teach. 32 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,060 Okay, fine. l didn't become the family wizard. 33 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:37,330 But the things l can do with plain hamburger will blow your mind. 34 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,570 He puts cheese in the meat. 35 00:01:39,710 --> 00:01:42,410 Hey, l've had many, many, many of his inside-out cheeseburgers. 36 00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,450 Tell me about it. 37 00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:45,910 So, what are you working on? 38 00:01:46,050 --> 00:01:49,350 Oh, well, l'm doing a report on the great Chinese wizard Li. 39 00:01:49,490 --> 00:01:53,250 Chinese wizard Li? He's in my fave five. 40 00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:05,590 He'll come here, he'll teach you all about his life. 41 00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:08,570 He'll do anything to get away from his witch of a wife, okay? 42 00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:10,940 By the way, his wife, she really is a witch. 43 00:02:12,110 --> 00:02:14,770 Li, baby, how's that wife of yours? 44 00:02:17,350 --> 00:02:21,790 Look, l would appreciate it if l could teach them my way. 45 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:23,580 Yeah, you're right. 46 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,350 - No more distractions. - Thank you. 47 00:02:25,490 --> 00:02:28,080 - Oh, l've got presents. - Oh, presents. 48 00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:31,530 Justin, l got you some opera gum. 49 00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:33,320 Oh, sweet. What's it do? 50 00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:34,990 lt's opera gum. Try singing. 51 00:02:40,970 --> 00:02:43,340 - l think l'll save that for the talent show. - Great. 52 00:02:43,470 --> 00:02:49,380 Max, for you, l've got the leprechaun answer blower. 53 00:02:49,910 --> 00:02:54,510 Ask it a question, blow a bubble, bubble pops, there's your answer. 54 00:02:54,650 --> 00:02:56,550 - Give it a drive. - Awesome. 55 00:02:56,690 --> 00:03:00,350 Come on, baby. What are the answers to my social studies test? 56 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:08,490 Yes-or-no questions only. But l love that you think big. 57 00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:12,070 And for my favorite niece who l love. 58 00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:15,470 l have for you an Emoto-scope. 59 00:03:15,770 --> 00:03:18,300 Okay. Look through it, you'll see how people are really feeling. 60 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,380 Oh, cool. l've always wanted one. 61 00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:29,840 Wow, either you're really excited or your underwear is on too tight. 62 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:39,090 And Max has no idea what's going on. Big shocker. 63 00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:45,530 Wow, you're mad inside and out. 64 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:48,340 Because no one wants to finish the wizard lesson. 65 00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:51,070 He's right. Who wants to go the zoo? 66 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,370 - The zoo? - The zoo? 67 00:03:53,510 --> 00:03:55,070 Let me rephrase that. 68 00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:57,680 Who wants to go to the zoo as a monkey? 69 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,180 - You're gonna turn into a monkey? - All of us are gonna be monkeys. 70 00:04:02,290 --> 00:04:05,410 Sorry, Kelbo. We frown on random uses of magic. 71 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,250 Okay. Let's talk about it. 72 00:04:08,690 --> 00:04:09,990 l-- 73 00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:11,620 Great conversation. 74 00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:10,750 Where are they? You know, the burgers are almost done. 75 00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,750 Kelbo does this every time. 76 00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:16,950 Jerry, they're out having fun with their uncle. lt's a good thing. 77 00:05:17,090 --> 00:05:19,320 Do you really trust him to watch our children? 78 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,160 No. But l trust our children to watch him. 79 00:05:24,470 --> 00:05:26,990 - We had so much fun at the zoo. - Oh, yeah? 80 00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:31,040 l didn't even turn them into monkeys, just like you asked. 81 00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:34,300 Oh, good. So then those aren't monkey tails. 82 00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,610 Chocolate? 83 00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:44,390 Oh, man, l wanted to find out some stuff with my leprechaun answer blower. 84 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,920 Oh, hey, let me ask it a question. 85 00:05:47,060 --> 00:05:48,790 Who is my secret admirer? 86 00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:52,620 l've been getting notes in my locker every Wednesday for the past three weeks. 87 00:05:56,070 --> 00:06:01,270 Oh, you can't ask it that. lt only answers yes, no or l don't know. 88 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,530 ls it Cathy Antinocci? 89 00:06:07,810 --> 00:06:09,780 ls it Corrie Montanio? 90 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:15,080 There's, like, 300 girls in my class. This might take a while. 91 00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:18,750 Okay. But just don't suck in, because the answer juice tastes nasty. 92 00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:24,490 Well, l'm glad you're back in time to watch the basketball game, honey. 93 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,960 Dad, l don't wanna watch basketball. 94 00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:28,190 Basketball? 95 00:06:28,630 --> 00:06:32,300 l got tickets tonight for the basketball game, up in the wizard luxury box. 96 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:33,490 You wanna go, Alex? 97 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,230 - What--? The wizard luxury box? - Yeah. The wizard luxury box. 98 00:06:36,370 --> 00:06:38,270 You know the scoreboard over center court? 99 00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:40,430 The wizard luxury box is in that. 100 00:06:40,950 --> 00:06:43,610 That sounds amazing. l have to see it. Dad, can l go? 101 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:45,480 Wait. You don't wanna watch the game with me 102 00:06:45,620 --> 00:06:49,640 but now that Kelbo is gonna take you to some fantastic wizard box, you wanna? 103 00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:52,720 Well, but l don't think you'll be able to, 104 00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:56,880 because your mother has a lot of stuff for you to do around the house. 105 00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:58,890 No, l don't. 106 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:00,520 Of course, she should go. 107 00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:03,000 Sounds like a great way to spend some time with your uncle. 108 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,670 Great. We gotta get going, because we gotta beat wizard traffic. 109 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,200 - Oh, wait. Let me get my sweater. - You're a wizard. 110 00:07:09,910 --> 00:07:11,170 Thanks for reminding me. 111 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:13,740 Cashemerus-appearus 112 00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:16,350 Soft. 113 00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:21,440 - Hey, that's my sweater. - Oh, l'm sorry, Mom. Let's talk about it. 114 00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:26,850 Great conversation. 115 00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:35,430 So we're in the scoreboard and we can see everything and everybody 116 00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:37,000 and they can't see us at all? 117 00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:39,030 Yeah. That's the beauty of the wizard box. 118 00:07:39,170 --> 00:07:40,430 Except it's got one drawback. 119 00:07:40,570 --> 00:07:42,270 - Time out on the floor, - Cover your ears. 120 00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:47,240 We're trying to get that removed. 121 00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:50,970 So tell me more about this whole secret admirer thing with your brother. 122 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,950 - You're the secret admirer. - Yeah. 123 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,610 For the last three weeks, l've been dropping notes in his locker 124 00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:59,310 saying that he's cute and sweet, and a bunch of other stuff he's totally not. 125 00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:01,250 - You won't tell Dad, right? - Of course not. 126 00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:02,590 lt's a classic gag. 127 00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:04,790 l got a finish for you. Here's what you do. 128 00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:06,730 You get yourself a genie, all right? 129 00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:09,030 Dress your genie up like his secret admirer. 130 00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:14,160 The minute he spots the genie, you capture his soul, put it in a lamp. 131 00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:15,770 l love that one. 132 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:18,030 l wasn't gonna go that far. 133 00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:20,110 Well, you're young. You got a lot to learn. 134 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,940 - And l bet you could teach me a lot. - Of course l could. 135 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,380 - Really? - Yeah. 136 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,680 You have so much more fun with magic than Dad does. 137 00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:30,340 Okay. Here's a good one. Hold your head like this. 138 00:08:30,490 --> 00:08:32,980 Cranium revolvus 139 00:08:37,860 --> 00:08:40,700 l love that. l can't wait for our next school assembly. 140 00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:43,490 - And that's the half, - Cover your ears. 141 00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:46,770 You're the best, Uncle Kelbo. 142 00:08:51,540 --> 00:08:53,100 Hey, what you got there? 143 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,970 l got another note from my secret admirer. 144 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:56,310 They're coming every day now. 145 00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:59,210 Wow, that's exciting. Do you have any idea who it might be? 146 00:08:59,350 --> 00:09:01,220 No. But she's probably pretty cute. 147 00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:05,050 You see, she dots her l's with hearts, and that always says cute. 148 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,550 And perfume. 149 00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:11,680 Oh, l can't even smell it, because of my allergies. 150 00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:13,260 Yep, you're someone's dream. 151 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,730 Someone without pets, grass, or common house dust. 152 00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:19,100 You know, it's too bad you don't know who she is. 153 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,690 Hey, l got a great plan to figure it out. l'm gonna-- 154 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,570 You don't wanna hear my stupid plan, do you? 155 00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:26,610 Oh, no, l wanna hear all about your stupid plan. 156 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,270 Okay. 157 00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:31,870 l'm gonna hide in this trash can and stake out my locker. 158 00:09:32,550 --> 00:09:35,110 - Brilliant. - Yep, and Max is gonna help me. 159 00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,650 - He's gonna be your lookout? - No. 160 00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:39,520 He's gonna stop the wrestling team from shoving Eugene Troobnick 161 00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:41,890 into the trash can like they do every day at 3. 162 00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:45,550 - l thought Eugene was homeschooled. - He is. They go home and get him. 163 00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:55,030 Where is she? l don't wanna teach the magic safety course twice. 164 00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:57,540 We don't wanna hear it once. 165 00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:02,900 Sorry, we're late. But you know how much l love the Old West. 166 00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:07,250 lt was great. We went on a cattle drive, and we took turns branding. 167 00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:09,280 Wanna see mine? 168 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,380 Just kidding. 169 00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:15,450 l'm gonna get me a sarsaparilla and a nice hot bath. 170 00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:19,230 Partner, l'd love me a sarsaparilla. 171 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,350 Whatever that is. l hope it's root beer. 172 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:22,560 Oh, no, no, no. 173 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,070 No, you were late, young lady, and we've all been waiting. 174 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,300 And we're about to start the magic safety lesson. 175 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:31,140 Did you guys know most wizard accidents happen within a mile of the home? 176 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,610 That's because some people have brothers, and they're not accidents. 177 00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:37,540 Daddy, it's okay that l'm late, 178 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,340 because Uncle Kelbo's been teaching me magic for the last few days. 179 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:41,880 ln fact, he and l were talking, 180 00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:44,490 and he said that he could be my wizard trainer instead of you. 181 00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:46,110 - He did? - l did? 182 00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:48,820 - You did. - Hold on. 183 00:10:49,060 --> 00:10:50,460 You-- 184 00:10:55,930 --> 00:10:57,030 l did? 185 00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:03,500 - Kelbo, was this your idea? - No. 186 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:08,770 Usually, when a guy goes to get a glass and does a spit take, it says, ''Surprise.'' 187 00:11:09,980 --> 00:11:12,640 But at the basketball game, you said you would teach me. 188 00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:16,410 Yeah, but l was talking more about, like, pranks and things like that. 189 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:20,220 Oh, like, Dad has those birthday candles that never blow out. 190 00:11:21,130 --> 00:11:25,430 No, more like 50 wizards' heads spinning completely around their bodies. 191 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,190 Oh, that's way better than the burning-candles thing. 192 00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:32,130 But you guys love the candles with the: 193 00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:33,860 And the: 194 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,600 And the: 195 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:41,440 Look, l'm honored that you want me to be your teacher, but that's your dad's job. 196 00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:43,070 Dad's great with Justin and Max, 197 00:11:43,210 --> 00:11:45,840 but l don't think l'm reaching my full potential with him. 198 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,780 Well, l don't wanna stand in the way of your full potential. 199 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,550 Maybe Kelbo should teach you. 200 00:11:51,690 --> 00:11:54,210 Maybe you'll actually show up on time for his lessons. 201 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,290 l will, Dad, because you know what l was thinking 202 00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:59,120 is that l learn more by doing than l do by learning. 203 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,530 Then it's done. 204 00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:06,330 Wait a minute. We get to pick our wizard teachers? Oh, l pick-- 205 00:12:06,470 --> 00:12:08,030 Dad. 206 00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:17,480 Excuse us. We got a reservation for this garbage can. 207 00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:20,520 Oh, this one's full. 208 00:12:20,650 --> 00:12:22,480 There's a stinkier one upstairs. 209 00:12:24,390 --> 00:12:25,910 See you tomorrow at 3, Eugene. 210 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,160 l don't know how much longer l can hold out. 211 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:34,630 l'm the one in the trash can. 212 00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:37,790 My leg was asleep, woke up, and now it's asleep again. 213 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:41,300 And l'm claustrophobic. 214 00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:44,940 - Someone's coming. l'll act natural. - Oh, yeah. 215 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,970 Yep, standing here, being natural, whistling. 216 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:57,780 Oh, my gosh. 217 00:12:59,190 --> 00:13:00,380 The lunch lady loves you. 218 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:02,760 lt makes sense. 219 00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:05,230 My milk's always a little bit colder than everyone else's. 220 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:06,860 But what are you gonna do? 221 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,330 l'm gonna write her a letter and tell her l'm flattered 222 00:13:09,470 --> 00:13:12,490 and if l was 20 to 30 years older and out of options, 223 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,230 maybe our love could flourish. 224 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:20,140 Okay. Let her down easy. You don't want warm milk. 225 00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:23,340 Hey, thanks for doing that for me, Doris. 226 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,680 Here's the left-handed mashed potato scooper you wanted. 227 00:13:25,820 --> 00:13:29,480 Thanks. A lot of people think they're the same as an ice-cream scooper. 228 00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:32,990 Those people would be wrong. 229 00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:37,690 That was totally an ice-cream scooper. 230 00:13:42,630 --> 00:13:47,040 So that's how you disappear and reappear ten feet away. Pretty fun, huh? 231 00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:49,370 That's about as magical as walking. 232 00:13:53,340 --> 00:13:56,010 See? What did l tell you? Not as much fun as poofing in. 233 00:13:56,150 --> 00:13:57,240 - Hey, Dad. - Hey, Alex. 234 00:13:57,380 --> 00:13:58,750 You missed a good one today. 235 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,540 We disappeared and then reappeared ten feet away. 236 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,480 - Wasn't it fun, guys? - Yeah. 237 00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:07,320 A little more exciting than that ripening-fruit spell you taught us. 238 00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:12,350 Okay. Well, have a good lesson. The lair is yours, Kelbo. 239 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,190 Please, leave it how you found it. 240 00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:16,260 Come on, guys. 241 00:14:16,530 --> 00:14:21,060 Oh, hey, Max. Does anybody want some salted nuts? 242 00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:22,800 Sure, Dad. 243 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,670 Snakes of all different colors. lt was-- 244 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:36,420 - So, what's our lesson gonna be? - Oh, l thought we'd take a nap first. 245 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:41,220 Well, l'll tell you what it's not gonna be, and that's fruit ripening. 246 00:14:41,730 --> 00:14:42,990 Because it's easy. 247 00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:45,750 All you do is you buy the fruit, you go into the future, 248 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,300 fruit's ripe, you eat it. 249 00:14:47,430 --> 00:14:51,160 You're gonna teach me about time travel? l've always wanted to learn that. 250 00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:53,600 Oh, look, the wizard mail's here. 251 00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:58,230 Uncle Kelbo, can we please focus on the lesson? 252 00:14:58,380 --> 00:14:59,900 Look, we'll read it. 253 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:05,110 We'll go back in time to before we read it, and it will be like we haven't even read it. 254 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,580 A sea chimp sample? We used to get these all the time when we were little. 255 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,080 They're just pets you put in water 256 00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:12,020 and you don't have to feed or play with them. 257 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,650 They're great. They die before your mom makes you throw out the smelly water. 258 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:16,950 Open them up. Come on. 259 00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,890 l don't know. These aren't regular sea chimps. 260 00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:22,090 They came in the wizard mail and Dad doesn't like us to open the wizard mail. 261 00:15:22,230 --> 00:15:23,600 Some of the stuff can be dangerous. 262 00:15:23,730 --> 00:15:27,000 Okay, l understand. But your dad's not your teacher, l am. 263 00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:29,700 And whatever goes wrong, we can fix with magic. 264 00:15:30,670 --> 00:15:31,900 All right. 265 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,210 But don't you need water for sea chimps? 266 00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:36,840 Apparently, not. 267 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,380 What--? 268 00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:43,580 That's not gonna work. Fix it with magic. 269 00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,710 Okay, okay, okay. All right. l got it. 270 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,630 Okay. That's what l use in the shower at cheap motels. 271 00:15:56,770 --> 00:15:59,500 - Sorry. - Well, use another one. 272 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,330 l can't. l'm panicking. 273 00:16:04,010 --> 00:16:05,870 Guess who l am. 274 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:12,170 l'm the lunch lady. l'm in love with Justin. 275 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,940 Give me a kiss, doll face. 276 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,290 Hey, why is Coach Gunderson here? 277 00:16:20,790 --> 00:16:23,390 And why does he look so mad? 278 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,450 Which one of you is Justin Russo? 279 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,900 l think it's you. 280 00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:37,170 You don't shower after gym because you don't sweat. 281 00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:39,570 Because you walk the mile. 282 00:16:40,380 --> 00:16:41,870 Hey, coach. 283 00:16:42,010 --> 00:16:46,470 What are you doing writing love letters to my girlfriend, the lunch lady? 284 00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:54,320 She was putting letters in my locker and l was just trying to let her down gently. 285 00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:56,390 Excuse me. What's going on here? 286 00:16:56,530 --> 00:16:59,930 Your son is trying to tell me that he's getting love letters 287 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,430 from my girlfriend, the lunch lady. 288 00:17:03,930 --> 00:17:07,960 The lunch lady? May l see one of these notes? 289 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,370 l have one. 290 00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:15,130 ''l love your lightsaber nightlight.'' 291 00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:20,540 How would the lunch lady know you have a lightsaber nightlight? 292 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,480 Alex. 293 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:28,610 Alex is my 1 4-year-old daughter and she kind of torments him. 294 00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:31,430 Well, really all of us. 295 00:17:31,930 --> 00:17:33,620 l get it. 296 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,130 You still sleep with a nightlight? 297 00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:38,260 Good. 298 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,460 The dark can be very, very scary. 299 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,800 Keep walking the mile. 300 00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:50,900 And sorry l barked at you. Lunch lady says l get pretty jealous. 301 00:17:57,220 --> 00:17:58,740 Dad. 302 00:18:00,020 --> 00:18:02,180 - Honey, are you all right? - Yeah. 303 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:03,790 l don't know what happened. 304 00:18:03,930 --> 00:18:05,920 l know. There's water coming out of the lair. 305 00:18:06,060 --> 00:18:07,930 Oh, who's in the lair? 306 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,220 Alex and Kelbo. They're doing their lesson in there. 307 00:18:10,370 --> 00:18:11,960 Somebody's gotta get into the lair. 308 00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:15,370 We don't know how much water. lf we open it, it could flood the restaurant. 309 00:18:15,510 --> 00:18:18,800 l know. Hey, you remember the spell from today, transporting ten feet? 310 00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:20,200 - Come on. - l'm on it. 311 00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:23,940 Whoa, wait, wait. l'll be right back. 312 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:28,050 Okay, okay, l'm ready. Better safe than sorry. 313 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,350 Justin, get me in there. 314 00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:32,650 Threemetrus-movetrus 315 00:18:33,890 --> 00:18:35,790 Hey, why can l breathe underwater? 316 00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:39,920 lt's due to the fact that we're sea chimps. 317 00:18:40,060 --> 00:18:42,500 Oh, right. Do something. 318 00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:44,990 Relax. l've been in way worse situations than this. 319 00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:48,230 lmagine the exact same thing, except hot lava. 320 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:50,160 Why were you in hot lava? 321 00:18:50,570 --> 00:18:53,100 Suffice it to say, l don't know how to make hot coffee. 322 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:57,010 You opened the magic sea chimp packet, didn't you? 323 00:18:57,150 --> 00:18:58,510 A little. 324 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:03,150 l know a spell that will fix this. Alex, repeat after me. 325 00:19:03,290 --> 00:19:07,150 - l'm a big knucklehead. - l'm a big knucklehead. 326 00:19:07,290 --> 00:19:08,880 Wait a second, that's not a spell. 327 00:19:09,030 --> 00:19:11,930 No, l know. l just wanted to hear you admit it. 328 00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:16,460 Hey, if anyone here's a big knucklehead, it's this sea chimp. 329 00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:20,140 Gee, who knows a spell that will get us out of this mess? 330 00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:22,260 Anyone? Anyone? 331 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:24,670 Oh, wait. l do. 332 00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:27,500 All right. Alex, say this: 333 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:31,240 Dehydratus-lougaines, apus-escapus 334 00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:35,080 Dehydratus-lougaines, apus-escapus 335 00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:39,250 l just don't get it. 336 00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:42,760 Kelbo said that he could fix it, but he couldn't and Dad could. 337 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,420 But Dad's not even a wizard anymore. 338 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,030 Well, your dad was always a much better wizard than l was. 339 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,220 That can't be true. Only one wizard in each family can keep their powers. 340 00:19:50,370 --> 00:19:52,700 lf Dad was the better wizard, he'd keep his powers. 341 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,630 - You never told them, huh? - Told us what? 342 00:19:56,870 --> 00:19:59,430 Honey, l think they're old enough. 343 00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:02,340 We're all getting go-carts? 344 00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:05,770 No. 345 00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:12,490 When Kelbo and your father competed to see who'd keep their wizard powers, 346 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,620 it was your dad who won the contest. 347 00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:17,690 What? 348 00:20:17,830 --> 00:20:22,990 But wizards can't marry non-wizards, so your dad gave Kelbo his powers 349 00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:25,400 so that he could marry me. 350 00:20:28,710 --> 00:20:31,700 l think that's the sweetest thing l've ever heard in my life. 351 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,970 Give your powers up for a girl? 352 00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:36,080 - Yeah, right. - What? 353 00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:39,610 l can't be-- 354 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,890 You guys, if Dad hadn't given up his powers, 355 00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:44,320 none of us would be here. 356 00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:47,950 Yeah, l made the right decision then, and l stand by it. 357 00:20:48,090 --> 00:20:51,060 And l should've stood by you, Dad. Will you still be my wizard teacher? 358 00:20:51,190 --> 00:20:54,650 Please, l beg of you, okay? Take her on. 359 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,200 You know me. l can't handle it. 360 00:20:56,330 --> 00:21:00,130 l get distracted, and then l get careless, and then-- 361 00:21:00,270 --> 00:21:03,430 This towel is so soft. 362 00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:09,070 Oh, and distracted. You know, l get distracted. 363 00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:11,480 We get it. Honey, honey, l'll be your teacher. 364 00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:15,010 But you're still my fun Uncle Kelbo. 365 00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:18,610 l mean, who else gets to say that they were a sea chimp even for a little while? 366 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,020 Actually, everyone l know. 367 00:21:22,790 --> 00:21:24,820 l've made them all open up that same packet 368 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,620 because l just love the pretty colors on the outside. 369 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:32,660 - The basketball game is on. - Oh, can l watch it with you? 370 00:21:33,140 --> 00:21:34,870 Yes. l'd love that, honey. 371 00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:38,530 Wait, wait, wait. l've got an idea. We can all watch it. 372 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,010 Yeah! Yeah! 373 00:21:46,020 --> 00:21:47,510 Hey, guys, wanna see something cool? 374 00:21:47,650 --> 00:21:50,140 - Hold your heads like this. - Oh, what are you talking about? 375 00:21:50,290 --> 00:21:51,980 Cranium revolvus 376 00:21:55,260 --> 00:21:58,490 Oh, this is bunk. 377 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,830 - Okay. You remember what to say, right? - Yeah. 378 00:22:08,970 --> 00:22:12,870 Excuse me. l was just checking to see if your refrigerator's running. 379 00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:15,410 As a matter of fact, my refrigerator is broken. 380 00:22:16,810 --> 00:22:18,840 lt's not running. What do l do if it's not running? 381 00:22:18,980 --> 00:22:20,380 She's onto us. Run.