1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:09,342 [Balladeer] In Hazzard County, folks like to tell stories. 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,745 Most are made up or embellished. 5 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,680 Like the time I told everybody in town 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,282 that I wrestled three gators at once, 7 00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:20,720 when really it was just two slow kids and a basset hound. 8 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,023 These legends become a part of us. 9 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,493 They show who we are and who we'd like to be. 10 00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:29,796 Now, I know you've heard of few about Hazzard's most infamous residents. 11 00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:32,732 But this one, the smallest child in Hazzard 12 00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:36,369 can rattle it off as fast as he can hot-wire a Chevy. 13 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:38,805 This here's how it all started. 14 00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:42,609 This is how Bo and Luke became the Dukes of Hazzard. 15 00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:54,254 [Balladeer] Bo Duke. Your average 16-year-old itching to get his license. 16 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,789 [DMV Examiner] Shopping cart! Shopping cart! 17 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:56,823 Shopping cart! 18 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,127 Maybe the seventh time will be the charm. 19 00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:04,364 [police siren wailing] 20 00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:06,332 [officer 1] over radio] Calling all units. 21 00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,301 In pursuit of a male teenager driving a station wagon, 22 00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:10,703 possible hostage situation. 23 00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:12,338 [officer 2 over radio] Yeah, Bo Duke. 24 00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:14,207 He's trying to get his license again, huh? 25 00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:16,109 [officer 1] over radio] Yeah. He'll be stringed off. 26 00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:17,477 As is. 27 00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:19,612 [Bo whooping] 28 00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:25,785 Whoa! 29 00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:28,188 [Bo] Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through. 30 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,123 [woman screaming] 31 00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:33,226 Kind of hard to concentrate with all that screaming. 32 00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:37,130 [Balladeer] In case you can't already tell, Bo knows one speed. Fast. 33 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,866 He's 99% instinct and 1% brains. 34 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,401 And that's on a good day. 35 00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:43,136 - I can jump it. - No, no, no. 36 00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:44,871 - No. - Oh, shit! 37 00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:49,542 [sirens wailing] 38 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,881 [DMV Examiner] That fool's crazy. I'm out of here. 39 00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,883 Wait. Did I pass? 40 00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:59,185 [electricity crackling] 41 00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:01,387 [Balladeer] No, Bo, you sure as shit didn't, 42 00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:02,188 but you got Tasered and I hear that's fun. 43 00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:10,763 You might think Bo was the crown prince of public mayhem, 44 00:02:10,763 --> 00:02:14,434 but four counties over, there was another contender vying for that throne, 45 00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,669 his cousin, Luke Duke. 46 00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:19,305 This poor green pup thought 47 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,207 that the way to a woman's heart was by blowing shit up. 48 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,876 Someday Luke will learn that when it comes to women, 49 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,278 he was focused on the wrong kind of bang. 50 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,614 She's a classy kid. Real lady. 51 00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:30,550 Forget about her, Luke. 52 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:33,253 Let me show you your future under this table here. 53 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,921 I'm sorry, psychic whore, 54 00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,524 but I've already seen my future. 55 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:39,392 And it's with Debbie Sue. 56 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:41,928 Hey, are you ready? 57 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:45,165 Hell, I better be ready. 58 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,234 X 90 Armageddons, Yellow Cycle of Thunders, 59 00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:50,870 Nasty Napalmers that'll peel back her eyelids, 60 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:54,774 blow off her silky golden hair, melt her brain stem, 61 00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:56,843 and open up her heart. 62 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,611 And she knows this stuff is coming? 63 00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:00,380 She doesn't even know my name. 64 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,916 - Come on, let's go. - [Luke] She will after tonight. 65 00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:07,353 Hey, Luke, 66 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,190 looks like your princess is about ready to get her castle stormed. 67 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,959 [Balladeer] Sometimes you get so darn busy planning the plan 68 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,862 that you take your eyes off the prize, 69 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,231 or maybe even blow the prize up. 70 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,568 Oh, shit. 71 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,570 Ah, whoa, whoa. 72 00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:24,938 [screaming] 73 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,813 [Balladeer] I reckon Luke never planned on 74 00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:36,416 carpet-bombing the county fair. 75 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:39,352 Twenty injuries, 15 grand in damage, 76 00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:41,854 and Debbie Sue still doesn't know Luke's name. 77 00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:43,990 Better luck next time, Romeo. 78 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:47,560 [officer 1] Get him up! You could've killed someone. 79 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,697 [BalladeeBo's parents and Luke's parents convinced the judges 80 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:53,733 that the boys' salvation lay in a summer of hard work 81 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,335 on Uncle Jesse's farm, 82 00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:56,736 a taste of the simple life. 83 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,471 [scoffs] 84 00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:01,007 "Simple life." That's a good one. 85 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,875 [bus driver] Hazzard County. 86 00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:03,910 [both grunting] 87 00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:05,812 Damn. 88 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:12,485 [laughing] 89 00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:14,020 [Luke] What's so funny, Goldilocks? 90 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:17,023 Two things always make me laugh. 91 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,858 Monkeys dressed as humans, 92 00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:22,829 and some pussy getting chucked off a bus. 93 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:25,298 How would like to spend the night in the morgue? 94 00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:26,666 Show me the way. 95 00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:33,406 Hey, hey. Hey, guys. 96 00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:36,743 Nice to see y'all cousins getting reacquainted. 97 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:38,478 - Bo? - Luke? 98 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,015 Welcome to Hazzard. 99 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,049 - Thanks, Uncle Jesse. - Uncle Jesse. 100 00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:47,920 - Oh, I'll take the brunette, you get the blonde. - Mm-hmm. 101 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,890 Man, this J.D. Hogg sure does like to smile. 102 00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:53,026 He's got a lot to smile about. He owns the whole town. 103 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,961 I knew him back when he was messing his britches. 104 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,063 I think he smiled when he did that. 105 00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:59,732 He ain't a bad guy, but just don't cross him. 106 00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:03,002 [Luke] Oh, my goodness, some things have changed. 107 00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:04,904 Corals and cocktails, coz. 108 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:07,540 - I just found Jesus. Yeah! - Yeah. 109 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:09,976 Keep the garden hoses in your trousers, boys. 110 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,644 Lot of fun to water the lawn, 111 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,379 but then you got to feed the flowers 112 00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:15,748 and then you got to send them to school. 113 00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:18,051 - Same old truck. - Yeah. Same old truck. 114 00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,087 [slurring speech] 115 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,028 Hey, Ab. 116 00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:34,067 [farts] 117 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,738 Come on, already. 118 00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:41,441 I'm gonna be 175 by the time he gets here. 119 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:43,109 Only running he's done is against J.D. for county commissioner. 120 00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:45,111 [Jesse] How you doing, Ab? 121 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:47,113 Got your medicine for you, old buddy. 122 00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:49,816 Reach in there and grab the two you like. 123 00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:54,087 [slurring speech] 124 00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:59,125 I hear you, buddy. See you next week. 125 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,493 Go get 'em. 126 00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,663 That's his medicine? 127 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:05,365 Well, he's 112 years old. 128 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,467 I bring him his medicine every week. 129 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,536 He's got scurvy, malaria, rickets, chlamydia. 130 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,872 You name it, he's got it. 131 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,607 Come on, let's go see Daisy. 132 00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:16,509 - [Luke] Shotgun. - [Bo] Nope, I got here first. 133 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,010 Get in first. 134 00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:22,915 - [siren wailing] - [Jesse] Whoa. 135 00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:26,052 - [Bo] Look out for the dog, Uncle Jesse! - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 136 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:29,555 [BalladeeYou ever wanna find Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, 137 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:33,126 go 10 blocks past sanity and take a right on crazy. 138 00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,560 [Rosco] Hang on there, Jesse. 139 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,795 [Balladeer] Can't miss him. 140 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:37,797 Ordinance 733. 141 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:40,166 Hound dogs have the right of way here in Hazzard County. 142 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:43,169 That's great detective work, Rosco. But it ain't no crime. 143 00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:46,172 Maybe lipping off to an officer of the law is, there, 144 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,040 Blue Jeans and Bongo Drums. 145 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,176 We didn't want to hit your dog. 146 00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:52,745 Now was I talking to you, there, Johnny Jingle Nuts? 147 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,448 Ain't you got nothing better to do? 148 00:06:55,448 --> 00:07:00,119 Well, maybe I could stuff you in my hold there, little partner. 149 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:03,589 And you could collect toenail clippings for fun. 150 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,792 Now, you all just mind yourself. 151 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:10,196 'Cause this here is Rosco P. Coltrane's jurisdiction. 152 00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:13,699 I'll send you straight to hell in a bucket of chicken. 153 00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:16,102 Come on, kid. 154 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,970 Old Rosco ain't never fired that gun, 155 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:19,639 but he's always looking for a reason. 156 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:21,174 Let's don't give him one. 157 00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:29,682 [Luke] Oh, man, pigtails. I love pigtails. 158 00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:33,486 [chuckles] 159 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:38,024 Daisy'll introduce us to the hot locals. 160 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,526 - So we can tag some wild game. - Yeah. 161 00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:43,830 And then you can stop beating off to them breast exam ads. 162 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:44,964 [groans] 163 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,167 Hey, guys. Hey. 164 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,235 [BalladeeDaisy Duke. 165 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:52,071 You can't see it yet, 166 00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:54,240 but there's a woman waiting to burst out of her like an alien invader. 167 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,242 I promised her folks I wouldn't let her date 168 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,678 until she's 18 and she just hit 18. 169 00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,980 And she's turning some heads. 170 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,949 What kind of heads is she turning? 171 00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:05,852 [Balladeer] And never far behind, Enos Strate. 172 00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:09,255 He likes to hover waiting to come to her rescue. Kind of sweet. 173 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:10,890 Look at you. 174 00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:14,260 [Luke] Oh, hey, Daisy. 175 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,262 Y'all are cuter than boxing gloves on a kitten. 176 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,030 Hi, Uncle Jesse. 177 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:19,899 Hi. How was Bible school? 178 00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:22,768 Well, Pastor Phil says, you know, that being a virgin's cool, 179 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:24,904 so all us girls in class, we signed this oath 180 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,974 saying we won't have sex until marriage. 181 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:31,277 These are all the things we can't do. 182 00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:34,280 Anyway, me and the girls are real psyched about being virgins. 183 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,015 All the girls signed this? 184 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,283 You bet. 185 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:40,286 [girl] Can't wait to be a virgin again. 186 00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:42,555 Luke, honey, you crying? 187 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,259 Just happy to see you, Daisy. 188 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,730 The Lord loves y'all. 189 00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,965 He just wants you to know 190 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,534 he'll be with you all summer, too. Huh, Daisy? 191 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,904 Right. This is gonna be the best summer ever. 192 00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:04,310 You know what we should be doing with this shit? 193 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,279 Should be blowin' this shit up. 194 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,747 Hey, you know you can make low-grade bombs with manure? 195 00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,315 Whoa! What are you doing? 196 00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:10,983 I'm going fast, so I can get done. 197 00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:12,285 Oh, yeah. 198 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,322 OK, truce. Jeez. 199 00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,324 Wash up. Come on in for supper. 200 00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,927 We got ham hocks, pickles, pig's feet. 201 00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:23,329 And you can finish shoveling that manure after you have your dessert. 202 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:25,698 Then we're done? 203 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,300 Then you got to go down by the road and fix the fence, 204 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,335 feed the chickens and bale some hay. 205 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:33,139 So, we work, what, all the time? 206 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,640 No, well, not all the time. 207 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,742 You get four solid hours of sleep. 208 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,812 And remember, Annabelle can't inseminate herself. 209 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:42,181 [cow mooing] 210 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:45,918 God! 211 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,891 [snoring] 212 00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:56,629 [BalladeeNothing like a good day's rest after an honest day's work. 213 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,999 Unless, of course, you're planning your escape. 214 00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:16,182 Vintage Luke Duke. 215 00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:19,085 Sneaking off without me again? 216 00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:21,053 What's that supposed to mean? 217 00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:24,724 I'm ten, you're 11. The nurses' school. 218 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:28,194 The nurses. 219 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,129 You didn't want to climb that tree. 220 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,797 You wanted to map it out, 221 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,933 draw a diagram, take a course in tree climbing... 222 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:36,402 - [shushing] - ...but I convinced you. 223 00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:38,304 What did you see? 224 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:41,107 I saw boobies. 225 00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:43,943 Big boobies, little boobies, 226 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:47,980 classy boobies, I saw a feast of boobies. 227 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,950 The Thanksgiving Day Parade of boobies. 228 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,686 And did you thank me? 229 00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:57,423 Thank you. 230 00:10:57,423 --> 00:11:01,427 No, you heard someone coming and you got down. 231 00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,429 I've had a lifetime of boobies. 232 00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:07,967 But I will never, ever forget you leaving me. 233 00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:11,103 Six years ago, all right? I was a little kid. 234 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:22,948 Sweet ride. 235 00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:29,889 Uncle Jesse's friends with a pimp? 236 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:32,058 Uh-uh. Boss Hogg. 237 00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:34,093 - [Luke] That man knows how to live. - That's business. 238 00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:37,463 Money, power, probably got a hot wife. 239 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:38,931 Definitely no farmer. 240 00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:40,466 [Boss] Yeah. 241 00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:42,134 The Boar's Nest is kicking! 242 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:44,270 It's an election year. Put that on, dumpling. 243 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,805 - Here you go, darling. - Oh, thank you. 244 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:47,373 I'm going in. 245 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,841 Bo, don't... Bo! 246 00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:53,145 Boys. 247 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:54,780 Hi, fellas. 248 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,215 What is this place? 249 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:59,085 I don't know. 250 00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:03,989 But four slices of a sex pie just walked right through that door. 251 00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:07,359 I think they need a little scoop of Bo on top. 252 00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:12,031 Whoa! Where do you think you boys are going? 253 00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:13,399 We're with them. 254 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,971 OK. Thank you. 255 00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:22,508 Nice sleeves. 256 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:25,511 No place for minors is definitely a place for us. 257 00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:28,047 - There's got to be another way in. - Let's go. 258 00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:30,082 - [Boss] Whoa, ladies. - [Jesse] Yeah. 259 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,118 - Well, what have we got here? - Let me know. 260 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:33,252 - OK. - Bye. 261 00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:37,289 Hello, folks, how you doing? 262 00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,191 How are you doing? 263 00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:41,460 - How y'all doing? - You called my mother a what? 264 00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:43,028 Not gonna take that. 265 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,532 - Look at that. - [man 1] There you go. Great shot. 266 00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:48,768 [man 2] J.D. Hogg is in the house. 267 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,771 Hey, now, they're fighting over you, there, Joanne. 268 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,005 Hey. 269 00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:54,940 Hey, hey, hey. You wanna piece of him, 270 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,842 you better take a piece of me. 271 00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,979 [grunting] 272 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,915 It's locked. 273 00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:05,050 I'm going this way. 274 00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:06,285 Wait up. 275 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:12,358 [BalladeeBoss Hogg's prize boar Dainty. 276 00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,895 Three time state champ and a close second in J.D.'s heart, 277 00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:18,097 after his wife Lulu. 278 00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:19,532 [Bo] It's Hogg's hog. 279 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,401 [grunting] 280 00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:24,069 Stay. Sit. 281 00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,878 - So, how's Lulu? - Expensive. 282 00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,547 My wife's got a jewelry habit 283 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,582 that'd make a crack whore look sensible. 284 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:39,485 Lucky you're the richest guy in Hazzard, huh? 285 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,121 Yeah. It's good enough for a county commissioner. But what about the future? 286 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:43,589 Governor Hogg. 287 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:47,493 President Hogg. Prime Minister Hogg. 288 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,328 Well, I ain't much into politics. 289 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,263 These things cost big bucks. 290 00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:52,598 [grunting] 291 00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:53,899 [shushing] 292 00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:59,605 Seems my temporary blindness to your illegal activities 293 00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,373 should be worth more like ten percent. 294 00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:02,608 Oh, it is. 295 00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:04,176 Undying friendship. 296 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,945 Which is nice. 297 00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:08,247 But I'm thinking more like 25%. 298 00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:11,116 Well, I ain't making a lot of money out there selling shine. 299 00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:13,118 I'm paying a few bills, but I ain't getting rich. 300 00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:15,120 Which brings me to my next proposal. 301 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,157 It's high time we expand your little operation, sell abroad. 302 00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:19,892 I ain't selling no broads. 303 00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,894 [laughing] 304 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,596 - That's good. - Yeah. 305 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,065 Yeah. No, I'm talking about neighboring counties. 306 00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:29,401 I can't afford to go to jail. I've got three young'uns that I'm raising. 307 00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:30,636 You're thinking small, Jesse. 308 00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,271 We could be partners. 309 00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:34,406 Rich as rich, chocolaty Ovaltine. 310 00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:35,608 [grunting] 311 00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,445 [Jesse] I really don't think 312 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,413 it's right that I cut you in after you've been elected. 313 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,349 It's kind of like bribery, don't you think? 314 00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:45,284 It is bribery, Jesse. 315 00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:47,219 What the hell you think we've been doing out there, 316 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,588 selling cotton candy to nuns? 317 00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:52,424 One way or the other, I'm gonna get my money. 318 00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:55,895 You got two weeks, then I'm sending Rosco out to foreclose on the farm. 319 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,630 No more slipping on payments. 320 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:02,668 Hey, where did she go? 321 00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:04,270 - Who? - Who? 322 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,571 Uh! 323 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,641 Come on, we'll save you, Dainty. 324 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,209 Hang on, girl. 325 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,510 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Come on. 326 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:12,678 Whoa! 327 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,446 [groans] 328 00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:18,250 - [squealing] - No, no. Hold on. Come on. 329 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,451 Oh, no. 330 00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:20,586 [pig farts] 331 00:15:21,353 --> 00:15:23,589 Oh! 332 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,257 Would you pull, Bo? 333 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,593 That is... What did she eat? 334 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:33,966 [both screaming] 335 00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:35,668 [car alarm sounding] 336 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:36,669 Dainty! 337 00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:43,208 Dainty! 338 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:49,715 Did you meet my nephews over there, Bo and Luke? 339 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,518 Y'all better pray my girl survives. 340 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,722 Two weeks and your farm is mine. 341 00:15:56,722 --> 00:16:00,326 Dukes have been living and dying on this farm for 150 years. 342 00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:03,729 Great Grandpa Duke built this out of a bucket of nails and a rock. 343 00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:07,232 My pa died sitting in that chair right where you are, Luke. 344 00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:09,568 Shat himself and then went gently into the night. 345 00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:11,737 God rest his soul. 346 00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:13,739 Hell, I was born right here on this table. 347 00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:15,741 Mama's water broke, I popped out there 348 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:17,710 like a log ride at a water park. 349 00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:23,382 I can't lose my home. 350 00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,517 Look, I'll get a job at the Boar's Nest. 351 00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,987 And I'll crack open some shine to settle our nerves. 352 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,055 Can't wait for that tasty beverage. 353 00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:32,291 You ain't never drinking that shine. You hear me? 354 00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:35,027 Now, J.D.'s mad. 355 00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,062 And that stunt y'all pulled with the flying pig didn't help none. 356 00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:38,664 And he's gonna collect. 357 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,432 And I couldn't make enough shine 358 00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:43,102 and still have time to run it and cover the loan. 359 00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:49,041 No. But we could. 360 00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:52,378 Hell, yeah. We could run it. 361 00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:54,780 Us working together, we'd come up with the money. 362 00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:57,182 No, your folks sent y'all down here to be good men, 363 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,650 not to be shine runners. 364 00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,352 And if you get throwed in jail, 365 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,687 you could be there a long time. 366 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,522 Listen, Uncle Jesse. We don't have a choice. 367 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,624 All we have is two weeks. 368 00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:06,792 If we sell enough... 369 00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,794 And we're quick enough... 370 00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:11,163 You don't have to worry about Boss Hogg again. 371 00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,799 We're Dukes. This is our farm, too. 372 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,534 And no one's taking it from us. 373 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,569 It ain't a bad idea, Uncle Jesse. 374 00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,305 All we need is... 375 00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:23,342 A fast car. 376 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:24,476 Yeah. 377 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:29,181 [Balladeer] There's an old saying that the journey of 378 00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:32,317 a thousand miles begins with a single step. 379 00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:37,189 Sometimes those steps can be blocked by a bunch of annoying little girls. 380 00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:39,091 Hello, tiny girls. 381 00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:41,160 [Bo] Excuse me, ladies. 382 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:45,497 Have any of you adorable little tykes seen a super-charged, 383 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:49,234 high performance, V-8 engine laying around here anywhere? 384 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,537 - [groans] - Look, we're nine, what do you want from us? 385 00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:54,473 Oh, that's it. Come here. Come here. 386 00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:57,676 Oh, you hide behind those pigtails and those braces, come on. Come on. 387 00:17:57,676 --> 00:17:59,411 Man, that guy's an idiot. 388 00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:04,550 [Bo] She ain't worth it. 389 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,819 Yeah. She's lucky you won't beat up anything under ten. 390 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,654 She's lucky I got standards. 391 00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:13,492 A gasoline bomb just detonated in my heart. 392 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:15,861 Who are they? 393 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,863 The Handy sisters. 394 00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:21,867 Brooke and Ali. Look, those girls have reps for doing anything. 395 00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,869 - Stay away. - Oh, definitely. 396 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,305 Definitely gonna stay away from the girls who'll do anything. 397 00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:28,874 Sound advice. I'm gonna go talk to them. 398 00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:32,244 Who needs to talk when you got a blonde river on your head? 399 00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:33,512 Bo, let me talk to them. 400 00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:34,613 Blonde river. 401 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,448 - Talk. - Blonde river. 402 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:37,783 [both grunting] 403 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,790 Hello, up there. 404 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,625 - Hey, y'all. - Hi. 405 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,861 Yeah. I'm Luke. Cousin Bo. 406 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,430 Charmed. 407 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:52,764 - [Luke] Seriously? - Mm-hmm. 408 00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:53,765 Thanks. 409 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:56,902 [whispers] That is awesome. 410 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:58,337 Fellas. 411 00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:02,908 We gotta go. We got some business to attend to. 412 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,710 We do? 413 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:07,579 We do. It was nice chatting with you. 414 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,349 Come on. 415 00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:12,417 [bell ringing] 416 00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:14,720 [Balladeer] So, they set out to find the perfect car. 417 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,389 Starting at the high school, where kids learn reading, writing 418 00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:19,358 and the real meaning of third base. 419 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:22,494 There's only one guy I know who is a genius with cars. 420 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,563 Are sure, Daisy? 421 00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:26,865 I mean, we need a serious garage, not some high school. 422 00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:29,401 [Balladeer] They might cut home economics and the debate squad, 423 00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:32,604 but there's always room in the budget for shop class in Hazzard. 424 00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:34,606 How come boys never notice me? 425 00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:36,475 'Cause you're dressed like a lady golfer 426 00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:38,277 who likes to swoon lady bikers. 427 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,679 No, he's kidding. 428 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,548 You're more of a lady construction worker on her day off. 429 00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:44,883 So, where is this engine whiz you've been talking about? 430 00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:46,852 Somebody call my name? 431 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,256 Hey. Hey. 432 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,593 - Daisy Duke. - Cooter. 433 00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:56,962 These are my cousins, Bo and Luke. 434 00:19:56,962 --> 00:20:00,866 Pleasure to meet you, Sweet Innocent and Dark Mystery. 435 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,969 [whoops] Just nicknames. Take 'em or leave 'em. 436 00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:07,606 My stars. That is real nice. 437 00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:09,975 Hey, I'll bet that breathes real good, doesn't it? 438 00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:11,310 Are you the shop teacher? 439 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,945 Hell, no. I'm a student. 440 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,646 Daisy tells us you know cars. 441 00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:16,415 Cars? Yes. 442 00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,483 Look at this baby. 443 00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:20,719 Math and history? No. 444 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,989 A high school diploma remains just out of reach. 445 00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:25,958 Lord willing and the creek don't rise, 446 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,760 they'll let me be a senior a fourth time. 447 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,863 There's still much work to be done here. 448 00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:33,565 We need something reliable. 449 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,334 Something with speed. 450 00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,469 Speed I can do. 451 00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:40,639 My trademark? Horns. 452 00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:46,478 [car horn playing "La Cucaracha"] 453 00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:47,846 [clears throat] 454 00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:49,748 That song needs work. 455 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:53,585 OK, you want something a little more edgier, then? 456 00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:55,654 What do you say, we test drive this sucker, huh? 457 00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:58,023 Well, shit. I'll try anything once. 458 00:20:58,023 --> 00:21:01,326 Except guy-on-guy. I'm just kidding. 459 00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:03,729 I'd try that. 460 00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:06,965 All right. Come on. I got the perfect place to open her up. 461 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,668 [both whooping] 462 00:21:12,037 --> 00:21:13,739 [Bo] Watch out. Watch your back. 463 00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:15,040 Coming through. 464 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,009 Excuse me. Pardon me. 465 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,545 Whoa! 466 00:21:20,545 --> 00:21:21,713 [Luke] Look out, man. 467 00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:23,548 [Bo] Coming through. Bo Duke. 468 00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,653 [Luke] You're gonna kill us, Bo. 469 00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:29,554 [Balladeer] Here's a little reminder 470 00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:32,024 that we live in the greatest country on the planet. 471 00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:33,392 - [girls screaming] - Oh, man. 472 00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:34,559 Hello, ladies. 473 00:21:34,559 --> 00:21:36,295 [Bo] Oh, you missed a spot. 474 00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:40,365 Hey! 475 00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:47,773 [Enos] Please don't touch that! 476 00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:49,408 Ow, ow, ow, ow. 477 00:21:49,408 --> 00:21:51,009 Get back and help me. 478 00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:58,383 [Enos] Bo, you can't go there. 479 00:21:58,383 --> 00:22:00,352 Don't be driving down the halls like that. 480 00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:01,620 You can't be driving down the halls like that. 481 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:04,523 Slow down. Pull that thing over. 482 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,059 [Bo] Oh, no. Oh, man. 483 00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:13,098 - Well, I could jump it. - [Luke] It? 484 00:22:13,098 --> 00:22:14,533 Her. It. 485 00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:16,401 Whatever. I can jump it. 486 00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:17,569 [grunting] 487 00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:19,338 [both whooping] 488 00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:26,044 Hot damn. 489 00:22:26,044 --> 00:22:27,813 I ain't seen moves like that since a tornado 490 00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:29,881 touched down in Miss Lally's class 491 00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:32,451 and ended the evolution debate once and for all. 492 00:22:32,451 --> 00:22:33,819 [whoops] 493 00:22:33,819 --> 00:22:35,520 - Hey, Enos. - Cooter. 494 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,022 Are you mixed up with them? 495 00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:39,124 Like a mixed romaine salad 496 00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:41,526 topped with vinaigrette and pecans. 497 00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:42,794 Woo-hoo. 498 00:22:42,794 --> 00:22:44,863 - Hi, Enos. - Hi, Daisy. 499 00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,965 Looks like you got manhandled. 500 00:22:46,965 --> 00:22:48,967 Actually, it was the JV cheerleading squad. 501 00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:51,136 Thank God it wasn't varsity. 502 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:53,972 Listen, Enos. My cousins are new in town. 503 00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:55,907 Maybe, as my friend, you can let them go. 504 00:22:55,907 --> 00:22:57,075 Just this once. 505 00:22:57,075 --> 00:22:59,945 Oh, sure, Daisy. For you. 506 00:23:01,146 --> 00:23:03,415 Let's get you back together. 507 00:23:03,415 --> 00:23:05,150 They don't teach you about cheerleaders 508 00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:08,420 in training you to be a hall monitor. 509 00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:11,123 I'd say you can handle that engine, Cooter. Yeah? 510 00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:14,626 Now all we need is the perfect body. 511 00:23:14,626 --> 00:23:16,595 Boys, I feel like I've been failing 512 00:23:16,595 --> 00:23:18,797 my whole life for this moment. 513 00:23:18,797 --> 00:23:20,565 Come on. I know a place. Hop in. 514 00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:24,102 [Balladeer] The county junkyard. 515 00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,405 Yep. You might see nothing but piles of junk, 516 00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,807 but these boys see warm dollops of clay 517 00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:31,042 ripe for sculpting into greatness. 518 00:23:31,042 --> 00:23:32,644 [Bo humming] 519 00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:40,152 What are you looking for, Buddha? 520 00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:43,955 My gut is gonna tell me when I've found the right car. 521 00:23:43,955 --> 00:23:45,557 All right, don't question me on this 522 00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:47,192 and I won't question you on being a virgin. 523 00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:49,127 All right, who told you that, huh? 524 00:23:49,127 --> 00:23:51,029 I want names, addresses, phone numbers, next of kin. 525 00:23:51,029 --> 00:23:52,998 'Cause I've slept with thousands of women. 526 00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:55,200 Oh, well, that's smart in this day and age. 527 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,069 Well, we're all virgins till we've been with the one that we love. 528 00:23:58,069 --> 00:24:00,772 Well, that's good. Except I ain't a virgin. 529 00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:03,141 Virginity ain't a crime, now. 530 00:24:03,141 --> 00:24:05,110 Except in the State of Bo. 531 00:24:06,545 --> 00:24:07,813 Oh, watch this. 532 00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:11,950 [groans] 533 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,051 Ooh. 534 00:24:13,051 --> 00:24:14,820 I'm OK. 535 00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:20,592 What's with sliding across the hood. 536 00:24:20,592 --> 00:24:25,230 Why would I waste my time walking all the way around the car? 537 00:24:25,230 --> 00:24:27,232 Think, Luke. You're supposed to be the smart one. 538 00:24:27,232 --> 00:24:30,235 I'm the good-looking one. 539 00:24:30,235 --> 00:24:33,171 I know the right car is here somewhere. 540 00:24:34,673 --> 00:24:35,874 [Luke] Bo. 541 00:24:38,243 --> 00:24:41,213 [Cooter] I admire his passion, but that boy is crazy. 542 00:24:43,248 --> 00:24:46,685 Well, what do you say we call it a day? 543 00:24:46,685 --> 00:24:48,620 Go cool off. Get some smoothies. 544 00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:49,788 I know a place. 545 00:24:49,788 --> 00:24:50,956 [Luke] All right. 546 00:24:50,956 --> 00:24:53,258 Come on, big guy. 547 00:24:53,258 --> 00:24:57,262 Boys, welcome to Hogg's Ravine. 548 00:24:57,262 --> 00:24:59,664 [Luke] Is there anything Hogg doesn't own? 549 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:01,132 Nope. 550 00:25:01,132 --> 00:25:03,702 But one day, I'm gonna open up my own garage. 551 00:25:03,702 --> 00:25:06,171 Cooter's Garage. 552 00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:07,739 It'll have my name on it. 553 00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:09,641 Boss ain't gonna own that. 554 00:25:09,641 --> 00:25:11,276 Hey, what's on the other side of the ravine? 555 00:25:11,276 --> 00:25:14,045 Factory for Hogg's Ice Cream. 556 00:25:14,045 --> 00:25:15,514 Hogg makes ice cream? 557 00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,616 Yup, yup, yup. I never had any, 558 00:25:17,616 --> 00:25:21,520 but I heard the peach melba's absolutely outrageous. 559 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,288 Anyway, no one's allowed over there. 560 00:25:23,288 --> 00:25:24,956 Road's all gated up. 561 00:25:24,956 --> 00:25:27,225 Boss is very protective of his recipe. 562 00:25:28,126 --> 00:25:29,594 Hey, boys. 563 00:25:29,594 --> 00:25:30,929 [country music playing on stereo] 564 00:25:30,929 --> 00:25:32,130 [giggling] 565 00:25:33,798 --> 00:25:35,700 Sunny-side up or over easy? 566 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,068 Call it in the air. 567 00:25:37,068 --> 00:25:38,703 I've always been a breast man. 568 00:25:38,703 --> 00:25:41,640 OK, you take the rack, I'll take the back. 569 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,277 Watch and learn, Luke. Watch and learn. 570 00:25:49,748 --> 00:25:51,750 Ladies, do me. 571 00:25:54,986 --> 00:25:57,088 Hey, girls, watch me. 572 00:25:58,924 --> 00:26:00,225 Why you got to go and do that? 573 00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:01,560 [girl] I like it. 574 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,827 Anybody ever dive in there? 575 00:26:02,827 --> 00:26:04,162 [Cooter] Sometimes. 576 00:26:05,764 --> 00:26:07,299 [Luke screaming] 577 00:26:11,803 --> 00:26:13,071 [both laughing] 578 00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:18,343 I'll be dipped. 579 00:26:18,343 --> 00:26:21,046 You said people dive in here all the time. I thought it was safe. 580 00:26:21,046 --> 00:26:22,213 Oh, no, hell, no. 581 00:26:22,213 --> 00:26:24,349 I said sometimes people dive. 582 00:26:24,349 --> 00:26:26,351 Most of the time they end up crippled 583 00:26:26,351 --> 00:26:28,086 or on life support or brain damaged. 584 00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:30,055 - Oh, man. - Just depends. 585 00:26:30,055 --> 00:26:32,591 Oh, man. I'm coming for you, Luke. 586 00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:49,908 [grunting] 587 00:26:49,908 --> 00:26:52,877 Come on. Don't die on me, now. 588 00:26:52,877 --> 00:26:56,381 [Balladeer] You'd think Bo'd be under water looking for his drowning cousin. 589 00:26:56,381 --> 00:26:58,683 But it's hard to think about your loved ones 590 00:26:58,683 --> 00:27:01,252 when you've found a sunken treasure. 591 00:27:04,155 --> 00:27:05,223 Breathe. 592 00:27:05,223 --> 00:27:06,324 [gasps] 593 00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:11,796 Score one for Cooter. 594 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:13,798 There is a car down there. 595 00:27:13,798 --> 00:27:15,367 Thanks for saving me, Bo. 596 00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:44,329 It's a '69 Dodge Charger. 597 00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:47,298 Well, I'll be mud on a frog's back. 598 00:27:47,298 --> 00:27:50,969 Hey, back in my pop's day, they used to dare each other to jump the ravine. 599 00:27:50,969 --> 00:27:53,438 Some stupid son of a bitch tried. 600 00:27:53,438 --> 00:27:54,906 Sounds like he didn't make it. 601 00:27:54,906 --> 00:27:56,875 Nobody can. It's impossible. 602 00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:59,377 Car must not be that hot, neither. 603 00:27:59,377 --> 00:28:03,214 No. That is the car. I can feel it. 604 00:28:06,284 --> 00:28:08,153 It just hasn't found the right driver yet. 605 00:28:23,001 --> 00:28:25,103 It's from the Civil War. 606 00:28:25,103 --> 00:28:27,205 [♪ Josey Scott: "If You Wanna Get to Heaven"] 607 00:28:28,473 --> 00:28:30,275 ♪ I never read it in a book ♪ 608 00:28:30,275 --> 00:28:32,444 ♪ I never saw it on a show ♪ 609 00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:34,446 ♪ But I heard it in the alley ♪ 610 00:28:34,446 --> 00:28:36,481 ♪ On a weird radio ♪ 611 00:28:36,481 --> 00:28:40,351 ♪ If you want a drink of water ♪ 612 00:28:40,351 --> 00:28:42,487 ♪ You got to get it from a well ♪ 613 00:28:42,487 --> 00:28:46,491 ♪ If you want to get to heaven ♪ 614 00:28:46,491 --> 00:28:49,461 ♪ You got to raise a little hell ♪ 615 00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:53,765 ♪ I never felt it in my feet ♪ 616 00:28:53,765 --> 00:28:56,034 ♪ I never felt it in my soul ♪ 617 00:28:56,034 --> 00:28:58,002 ♪ But I heard it the alley ♪ 618 00:28:58,002 --> 00:29:00,038 ♪ Now it's in my rock and roll ♪ 619 00:29:00,038 --> 00:29:03,908 ♪ If you want to know a secret ♪ 620 00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:06,144 ♪ You got to promise not to tell ♪ 621 00:29:06,144 --> 00:29:09,948 ♪ If you want to get to heaven ♪ 622 00:29:09,948 --> 00:29:15,053 ♪ You got to raise a little hell ♪ 623 00:29:15,053 --> 00:29:16,488 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 624 00:29:30,168 --> 00:29:32,470 What's your lucky number, Bo? 625 00:29:32,470 --> 00:29:34,506 Uh, one. 626 00:29:36,474 --> 00:29:42,547 ♪ If you want to get to heaven ♪ 627 00:29:42,547 --> 00:29:48,386 ♪ You got to raise a little hell ♪ 628 00:29:48,386 --> 00:29:52,023 [Balladeer] Ain't that just about the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? 629 00:29:52,023 --> 00:29:55,527 That car kicks so much ass it should have feet. 630 00:29:58,563 --> 00:30:00,799 Why you gotta go and do that? 631 00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:02,834 Because it's cool. 632 00:30:02,834 --> 00:30:04,969 You sure you don't want me to weld your side shut? 633 00:30:04,969 --> 00:30:06,104 No. 634 00:30:06,104 --> 00:30:07,205 All right. 635 00:30:07,872 --> 00:30:08,907 [whoops] 636 00:30:10,008 --> 00:30:11,075 Ready, coz? 637 00:30:11,075 --> 00:30:12,911 Ready, coz. 638 00:30:12,911 --> 00:30:14,412 [Cooter] All right, boys, listen. 639 00:30:14,412 --> 00:30:16,581 This little baby here... Oh, sorry. 640 00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:19,150 That's mechanic talk. 641 00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:23,388 This car, well, it's got enough parts, it'd make the Pentagon wet. 642 00:30:23,388 --> 00:30:25,557 All right? Break it in nice and easy. 643 00:30:27,225 --> 00:30:29,127 Race you. 644 00:30:29,127 --> 00:30:30,428 [whooping] 645 00:30:31,596 --> 00:30:33,264 [both whooping] 646 00:30:42,473 --> 00:30:45,076 [Luke] Go, Bo! 647 00:30:45,076 --> 00:30:46,845 I'm not gonna see that car for a while, am I? 648 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,079 I don't think so. 649 00:30:48,079 --> 00:30:49,547 [whooping] 650 00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:10,535 [whooping] 651 00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:12,470 Oh, my goodness. 652 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:16,641 I wanna paint. I wanna sail. 653 00:31:16,641 --> 00:31:18,977 I wanna help old people and children. 654 00:31:18,977 --> 00:31:21,980 But most of all, I wanna drive this car 655 00:31:21,980 --> 00:31:23,648 right through the sound barrier. 656 00:31:23,648 --> 00:31:25,083 Oh, my God. 657 00:31:26,985 --> 00:31:30,655 Bo just discovered religion and Cooter. 658 00:31:30,655 --> 00:31:32,991 Cooter, you're his prophet. Thank you, man. 659 00:31:32,991 --> 00:31:34,659 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 660 00:31:34,659 --> 00:31:36,261 It's OK, pal. 661 00:31:36,261 --> 00:31:38,663 I promised myself I wouldn't cry today. 662 00:31:38,663 --> 00:31:40,665 Look at me. 663 00:31:40,665 --> 00:31:43,668 You're an honorary Duke now, Cooter. 664 00:31:43,668 --> 00:31:45,670 You know, when I was a Ridge Runner moving shine 665 00:31:45,670 --> 00:31:47,672 and leaving them cops choking in my dust, 666 00:31:47,672 --> 00:31:50,074 we used to name our cars after generals. 667 00:31:51,376 --> 00:31:53,511 Oh, well, then, 668 00:31:53,511 --> 00:31:56,214 this should be named after the greatest of all. 669 00:31:57,482 --> 00:31:58,650 General Lee. 670 00:32:02,687 --> 00:32:04,689 You know, running shine is a lot like knowing 671 00:32:04,689 --> 00:32:06,991 how to kill a man with your thumb 12 ways. 672 00:32:06,991 --> 00:32:08,960 It ain't really that hard once you know how, 673 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:10,528 but you got to practice at it. 674 00:32:10,528 --> 00:32:13,531 You can kill a man with your thumb? 675 00:32:13,531 --> 00:32:15,466 Forget that part. Here's what you got to remember. 676 00:32:15,466 --> 00:32:17,235 It's more than just speed out here. 677 00:32:17,235 --> 00:32:18,703 You got to be smart. 678 00:32:18,703 --> 00:32:21,372 Been going over this map of Hazzard. 679 00:32:21,372 --> 00:32:23,308 I think I got our routes figured out. 680 00:32:23,308 --> 00:32:25,310 Well, that's good. But you got to improvise. 681 00:32:25,310 --> 00:32:30,048 Unforeseen circumstances come up quicker than a stiffy on prom night. 682 00:32:30,048 --> 00:32:33,484 Best advice I ever had was from an old moonshiner buddy of mine, 683 00:32:33,484 --> 00:32:35,019 old "Three Nipples" Ned. 684 00:32:35,019 --> 00:32:37,121 The man had three nipples? 685 00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:40,692 No, he really had four, but we didn't want to call attention to it. 686 00:32:40,692 --> 00:32:43,594 So he told us on his death bed, he said these three words. 687 00:32:43,594 --> 00:32:46,631 He said, "Don't get caught." 688 00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,333 Cops got him? 689 00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:49,734 No, actually it was Emmy Lou Hassett. 690 00:32:49,734 --> 00:32:52,603 It was that tertiary syphilis. 691 00:32:52,603 --> 00:32:54,539 That's another thing you want to remember, now. 692 00:32:54,539 --> 00:32:56,441 If you don't want your pecker to feel like a flame-thrower, 693 00:32:56,441 --> 00:32:58,443 you better wear a rubber. 694 00:32:58,443 --> 00:33:01,646 Uncle Jesse, don't you think we should sample the product 695 00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:03,514 for our customers' sake? 696 00:33:03,514 --> 00:33:06,250 Yeah, yeah, Bo's right. I mean, people might have questions. 697 00:33:06,250 --> 00:33:09,253 I don't think y'all's folks want y'all out here drinking and driving shine. 698 00:33:09,253 --> 00:33:11,556 Time to baptize the General. Come on. 699 00:33:28,539 --> 00:33:31,409 [Balladeer] For a week those boys tore up and down the county 700 00:33:31,409 --> 00:33:35,079 making stops for every teacher, preacher and milkmaid in sight. 701 00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:47,759 Bo and Luke became the fastest shine runners in Hazzard history. 702 00:34:35,373 --> 00:34:36,841 [both laughing] 703 00:34:36,841 --> 00:34:38,209 Holy water. 704 00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:42,814 [Luke] Thank you. 705 00:34:42,814 --> 00:34:44,782 [Bo whooping] 706 00:34:47,318 --> 00:34:49,854 [people chattering] 707 00:34:49,854 --> 00:34:53,224 [Balladeer] So things were tasting sweeter than applejack 708 00:34:53,224 --> 00:34:55,293 in a honeydew melon for the Duke boys. 709 00:34:55,293 --> 00:34:58,129 But remember, Daisy wanted to help out, too, 710 00:34:58,129 --> 00:35:01,399 and she'd be damned if she wasn't gonna make a contribution. 711 00:35:03,868 --> 00:35:05,870 Well, a new face in Hazzard. 712 00:35:05,870 --> 00:35:08,372 Now, I'll tell you city folk ain't really my type, 713 00:35:08,372 --> 00:35:10,875 but this was a flavor Daisy had never tasted. 714 00:35:10,875 --> 00:35:12,210 Excuse me. 715 00:35:13,244 --> 00:35:14,679 Oh, I'm so sorry. 716 00:35:14,679 --> 00:35:17,115 I just want to see about a waitressing job. 717 00:35:17,115 --> 00:35:20,218 Look, don't worry. A little water will take that right out. 718 00:35:21,686 --> 00:35:23,888 Look. [chuckles] 719 00:35:23,888 --> 00:35:25,890 I'm not trying to be rude, 720 00:35:25,890 --> 00:35:28,893 but you just don't have the right look 721 00:35:28,893 --> 00:35:30,194 for the Nest. 722 00:35:31,696 --> 00:35:34,866 These girls are tough, confident. 723 00:35:37,602 --> 00:35:39,871 Oh, right. 724 00:35:40,638 --> 00:35:43,174 Hey. 725 00:35:43,174 --> 00:35:45,276 [Balladeer] Her interviewing skills leave something to be desired. 726 00:35:45,276 --> 00:35:46,644 Thank you. 727 00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:48,646 But she accomplished one thing. 728 00:35:48,646 --> 00:35:51,315 Daisy done gone and got herself smitten. 729 00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:54,919 Daisy? 730 00:35:54,919 --> 00:35:57,321 I just acted like a fool in front of the most 731 00:35:57,321 --> 00:35:59,891 gorgeous, handsome man ever to come to Hazzard. 732 00:36:01,726 --> 00:36:03,828 But I just got here. 733 00:36:03,828 --> 00:36:07,465 [Bo] Ladies, hello. 734 00:36:07,465 --> 00:36:08,533 Ladies. 735 00:36:08,533 --> 00:36:09,934 Hi. 736 00:36:09,934 --> 00:36:11,669 Brooke! Ali! 737 00:36:11,669 --> 00:36:14,305 Ladies! How you doing? 738 00:36:14,939 --> 00:36:15,940 Cooter. 739 00:36:15,940 --> 00:36:17,175 Yeah? 740 00:36:18,543 --> 00:36:20,244 Let's make a toast. 741 00:36:20,244 --> 00:36:22,213 [Cooter] Yes, yes, let's make a toast. 742 00:36:22,213 --> 00:36:24,448 To waking up in Chickasaw 743 00:36:24,448 --> 00:36:28,953 in the strong protective arms of a female correctional officer. 744 00:36:28,953 --> 00:36:30,588 Ho! What a night! 745 00:36:35,426 --> 00:36:36,861 [clears throat] 746 00:36:36,861 --> 00:36:38,863 We're gonna go. 747 00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:40,898 Yeah, we're teaching erotic dance at the senior center. 748 00:36:40,898 --> 00:36:43,968 And we're late. Sorry. 749 00:36:43,968 --> 00:36:45,369 - Don't go! - Don't go! 750 00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:46,971 [both laughing] 751 00:36:46,971 --> 00:36:48,339 Thanks a lot, Cooter. 752 00:36:48,339 --> 00:36:49,840 Was it the toast? 753 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:51,876 [country music playing on stereo] 754 00:36:55,980 --> 00:36:57,281 Sorry. 755 00:36:58,983 --> 00:37:01,919 You guys came in in that '69 Charger, right? 756 00:37:05,923 --> 00:37:07,792 The General Lee. 757 00:37:07,792 --> 00:37:09,894 Hi, I'm Hughie, the new manager. 758 00:37:12,997 --> 00:37:14,765 Yeah. 759 00:37:18,369 --> 00:37:21,839 I thought you'd like some Hogg d'oeuvres on the house. Well, come on. 760 00:37:21,839 --> 00:37:26,777 [stammering] Those Boss Hoggs in a blanket are absolutely magic. 761 00:37:26,777 --> 00:37:28,980 Yes, they are. 762 00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:34,518 So I got to say, you guys have one killer orange car out there. 763 00:37:34,518 --> 00:37:37,521 Yeah, two things I can't live without. My car 764 00:37:39,590 --> 00:37:41,659 and my cell phone. 765 00:37:41,659 --> 00:37:43,728 Except I can't get any reception around here. 766 00:37:43,728 --> 00:37:45,730 How do you guys survive? 767 00:37:45,730 --> 00:37:46,998 We use a CB. 768 00:37:51,035 --> 00:37:52,436 A CB. 769 00:37:56,841 --> 00:37:58,542 Well, I have to get back to work, 770 00:37:58,542 --> 00:38:00,344 but you know we should hang out 771 00:38:00,344 --> 00:38:02,046 if you guys know anything to do around here. 772 00:38:02,046 --> 00:38:04,048 Oh, yeah, we know lots to do. 773 00:38:04,048 --> 00:38:05,983 Yeah, all right. Excellent. 774 00:38:05,983 --> 00:38:08,019 Well, I'll see you guys around. 775 00:38:08,986 --> 00:38:11,289 [Hughie] Sorry, guys. 776 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:14,058 Boss told me to turn up the TV every time he's on. 777 00:38:14,058 --> 00:38:19,563 Folks, Hazzard's sick. What's the cause? 778 00:38:19,563 --> 00:38:22,533 Greedy shiners like these two 779 00:38:22,533 --> 00:38:25,069 selling their liquid fire to the unsuspecting. 780 00:38:25,069 --> 00:38:27,305 Come on. 781 00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:28,739 Now let this be a warning to all you moonshiners out there. 782 00:38:28,739 --> 00:38:30,541 My deputies will find you, 783 00:38:30,541 --> 00:38:32,076 they'll smoke you out of your holes, 784 00:38:32,076 --> 00:38:34,045 and they'll send you back to hell. 785 00:38:39,083 --> 00:38:41,686 I ain't done yet! 786 00:38:41,686 --> 00:38:46,590 Earlier today I declared Hazzard a dry county, and anyone 787 00:38:46,590 --> 00:38:49,093 who uncovers a moonshine operation 788 00:38:49,093 --> 00:38:53,564 will collect a handsome $25,000 reward. 789 00:38:53,564 --> 00:38:55,066 [all cheering] 790 00:38:56,033 --> 00:38:57,668 [Boss] OK. 791 00:38:57,668 --> 00:38:59,537 Now to show my level of commitment, 792 00:38:59,537 --> 00:39:03,107 I'm turning my own Boar's Nest into an ice cream parlor. 793 00:39:03,107 --> 00:39:04,575 Yummy, huh? 794 00:39:06,077 --> 00:39:08,079 That's good eating, right there. 795 00:39:09,113 --> 00:39:11,349 Let this be known, 796 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:16,120 that together we can all live high on the Hogg. 797 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,521 [all cheering] 798 00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:21,826 How do you like my Hoggettes? 799 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:24,462 Thank you. 800 00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:32,903 [Luke] I can't believe that Boss declared war on us. 801 00:39:32,903 --> 00:39:35,573 - You worried? - Please. 802 00:39:35,573 --> 00:39:37,808 The General Lee comes equipped with a gas pedal and my foot. 803 00:39:37,808 --> 00:39:40,444 We got the fastest car in 37 counties. 804 00:39:40,444 --> 00:39:41,912 Well, well, well. 805 00:39:41,912 --> 00:39:44,448 Afternoon, Rosco. We just saw you on TV. 806 00:39:44,448 --> 00:39:46,150 You know, you make a convincing sheriff. 807 00:39:46,150 --> 00:39:48,119 You really do. Hey, Flash. 808 00:39:48,119 --> 00:39:50,721 Don't you touch Flash, you deviant. Hey! 809 00:39:50,721 --> 00:39:53,491 You know I got a couple of shine-swilling weasels 810 00:39:53,491 --> 00:39:54,992 in the back of my squad car, 811 00:39:54,992 --> 00:39:56,694 and they're starting to smell like ass. 812 00:39:56,694 --> 00:39:58,696 Where is that shine-selling uncle of yours? 813 00:39:58,696 --> 00:40:00,998 You know, you're much better-looking in person? 814 00:40:00,998 --> 00:40:04,468 Delicate. TV hides how pretty you really are. 815 00:40:04,468 --> 00:40:08,506 Now, I didn't come over here to have you tell me how pretty I am. 816 00:40:08,506 --> 00:40:11,475 I know how pretty I am. 817 00:40:11,475 --> 00:40:13,144 Now you open up the General Lee 818 00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:14,512 and let me see that contraband. 819 00:40:14,512 --> 00:40:16,180 Come on, move. 820 00:40:16,180 --> 00:40:18,449 [Rosco] That's why they call me the rattlesnake, boy. 821 00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:20,117 'Cause when I sense trouble, I strike. 822 00:40:20,117 --> 00:40:22,887 [Bo] ...contraband, Rosco. 823 00:40:22,887 --> 00:40:24,755 [Balladeer] Figures old Rosco'd leave the keys right on the seat. 824 00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:26,657 [Luke] Go, go, go. 825 00:40:26,657 --> 00:40:28,559 He's dumb as a screen door on a submarine. 826 00:40:28,559 --> 00:40:31,462 [Luke] That's a real fancy car you got here, Rosco. 827 00:40:31,462 --> 00:40:34,031 Almost make you seem like a real sheriff. 828 00:40:34,031 --> 00:40:35,933 Well, thank you for... Wait a minute. 829 00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:37,701 I am the real sheriff here. 830 00:40:37,701 --> 00:40:40,638 I won 46.7% of the vote. 831 00:40:40,638 --> 00:40:42,139 Who did you run against? 832 00:40:42,139 --> 00:40:43,974 Well, I ran unopposed, 833 00:40:43,974 --> 00:40:46,210 'cause no one was man enough to run against me. 834 00:40:46,210 --> 00:40:49,213 Now you get this rig popped open real quick-like, 835 00:40:49,213 --> 00:40:51,849 like a little tiny Chinese toy box... Hey! 836 00:40:51,849 --> 00:40:53,551 They gave you a real gun, Rosco. 837 00:40:53,551 --> 00:40:55,586 That is awesome. That is great. 838 00:40:55,586 --> 00:40:57,221 Hey, don't you touch that. That's standard issue. 839 00:40:57,221 --> 00:41:00,157 Don't touch my puppy. Don't touch her. 840 00:41:00,157 --> 00:41:02,193 Hey, my bullets! What... 841 00:41:02,193 --> 00:41:05,162 Oh, now look what I've done. 842 00:41:05,162 --> 00:41:06,697 - Hey, there. - Here you go. 843 00:41:06,697 --> 00:41:07,832 Don't rub it on your leg like that. 844 00:41:07,832 --> 00:41:09,233 We got chores to do, Rosco. 845 00:41:09,233 --> 00:41:11,001 It ain't easy being a simple farmer. 846 00:41:11,001 --> 00:41:12,870 No, no, this is an unacceptable... 847 00:41:12,870 --> 00:41:14,238 [Rosco] Give me that moonshine. 848 00:41:14,238 --> 00:41:16,207 Yeah, I got to get that door fixed, Rosco. 849 00:41:16,207 --> 00:41:18,075 Sorry about that. See you next time. 850 00:41:18,075 --> 00:41:19,677 [Rosco] I know there's shine in here. 851 00:41:19,677 --> 00:41:22,246 - Hey! - Oh, wait, Rosco. 852 00:41:22,246 --> 00:41:25,149 Maybe next time you can chase us like a real cop. 853 00:41:25,149 --> 00:41:27,251 You let them go, little Flash honey. 854 00:41:27,251 --> 00:41:29,553 [Bo whooping] 855 00:41:29,553 --> 00:41:32,089 Don't you burn rubber on me! 856 00:41:32,089 --> 00:41:33,591 I know where you live! 857 00:41:33,591 --> 00:41:35,159 [police radio chattering] 858 00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:37,561 Hey! Hey, now... 859 00:41:39,263 --> 00:41:40,865 Hey, this is Rosco. 860 00:41:40,865 --> 00:41:42,666 We got some shiners on the run. 861 00:41:45,269 --> 00:41:46,804 Looks like y'all were right, boys. 862 00:41:46,804 --> 00:41:49,273 They're locking up people. 863 00:41:49,273 --> 00:41:52,710 J.D. had Rosco run off all our customers. 864 00:41:52,710 --> 00:41:54,612 Ain't right, them scaring people. 865 00:41:54,612 --> 00:41:56,180 Well, this is getting way too dangerous. 866 00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:57,948 That could be y'all in jail, or even worse. 867 00:41:57,948 --> 00:42:00,184 Don't say it, Uncle Jesse. 868 00:42:00,184 --> 00:42:01,685 I'm not about to send y'all home 869 00:42:01,685 --> 00:42:03,787 to your folks in wooden boxes, 870 00:42:03,787 --> 00:42:06,023 and this farm ain't worth saving if we got to lose you boys. 871 00:42:06,023 --> 00:42:07,958 There's got to be something we can do. 872 00:42:07,958 --> 00:42:10,060 Maybe there is. 873 00:42:10,060 --> 00:42:12,296 I got a couple of suits at home that might fit y'all. 874 00:42:12,296 --> 00:42:14,298 What do you say we pay old J.D. a visit? 875 00:42:14,298 --> 00:42:16,534 It might be time to call a truce. 876 00:42:30,314 --> 00:42:32,149 Oh, my gosh. You boys look like 877 00:42:32,149 --> 00:42:33,918 you just fell off a wedding cake. 878 00:42:33,918 --> 00:42:36,620 Thanks, Daisy. What're you doing? 879 00:42:36,620 --> 00:42:38,756 Hughie ain't rejecting me again. 880 00:42:42,826 --> 00:42:44,328 [♪ Joanna Cotten: "High Maintenance"] 881 00:42:50,601 --> 00:42:52,336 Hot enough for you, Hughie? 882 00:42:52,336 --> 00:42:55,205 ♪ We gotta do this right ♪ 883 00:42:55,205 --> 00:42:57,975 ♪ We gotta map this site ♪ 884 00:42:57,975 --> 00:43:00,611 ♪ Double check our figures ♪ 885 00:43:00,611 --> 00:43:02,680 ♪ Remove all doubt ♪ 886 00:43:04,682 --> 00:43:07,284 ♪ You gotta curl them lashes ♪ 887 00:43:07,284 --> 00:43:09,954 ♪ You gotta line them lips ♪ 888 00:43:09,954 --> 00:43:12,356 ♪ You gotta know what flatters ♪ 889 00:43:12,356 --> 00:43:15,125 ♪ The curvature of your hips ♪ 890 00:43:15,125 --> 00:43:17,695 ♪ We need a lot of experts ♪ 891 00:43:17,695 --> 00:43:20,798 ♪ For hiding every flaw ♪ 892 00:43:20,798 --> 00:43:23,033 ♪ Going up against gravity ♪ 893 00:43:23,033 --> 00:43:26,170 ♪ Breaking every natural law ♪ 894 00:43:26,170 --> 00:43:28,872 ♪ From head to heels ♪ 895 00:43:28,872 --> 00:43:31,375 ♪ We gotta pump this up ♪ 896 00:43:31,375 --> 00:43:33,844 ♪ It takes a whole lot of work ♪ 897 00:43:33,844 --> 00:43:36,246 ♪ To get that good look ♪ 898 00:43:36,246 --> 00:43:38,182 ♪ It's high... ♪ 899 00:43:38,182 --> 00:43:42,620 What's the point? I should be a nun. 900 00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:45,289 [Balladeer] Doesn't Daisy look mighty discouraged? 901 00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:47,391 But some lessons you got to learn by yourself. 902 00:43:47,391 --> 00:43:50,127 You leave a spark alone you might just find yourself 903 00:43:50,127 --> 00:43:52,229 in the middle of a raging inferno. 904 00:43:52,229 --> 00:43:54,398 ♪ You walk in the room ♪ 905 00:43:54,398 --> 00:43:57,134 ♪ You got it going on ♪ 906 00:43:57,134 --> 00:43:59,970 ♪ The image of perfection, baby ♪ 907 00:43:59,970 --> 00:44:02,706 ♪ Yeah, you're the bomb ♪ 908 00:44:02,706 --> 00:44:05,409 [Balladeer] So while one Duke is on a quest to find her inner hotness, 909 00:44:05,409 --> 00:44:08,245 the other Dukes are about to get all hot and bothered 910 00:44:08,245 --> 00:44:12,282 by a first-class culinary experience care of Mrs. Lulu Hogg. 911 00:44:12,282 --> 00:44:14,752 So, you boys ever roasted a turkey before? 912 00:44:14,752 --> 00:44:16,120 Uh, no, Miss Hogg. 913 00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:17,855 Oh, please, call me Lulu. 914 00:44:19,957 --> 00:44:22,426 It's Arabic for pearl. 915 00:44:22,426 --> 00:44:25,229 You know where to find a pearl? 916 00:44:25,229 --> 00:44:28,265 Open a clam, spread the fleshy pink meat with your fingers, 917 00:44:28,265 --> 00:44:30,901 and find something beautiful. 918 00:44:30,901 --> 00:44:32,770 [Balladeer] You know it's summer, 919 00:44:32,770 --> 00:44:36,306 'cause this woman's in heat and insane. 920 00:44:36,306 --> 00:44:38,776 Mm-hmm. 921 00:44:38,776 --> 00:44:40,878 You keep this up, you're gonna get my boys hurt. 922 00:44:40,878 --> 00:44:44,081 Your boys are riding shine, not a-riding ponies. 923 00:44:44,081 --> 00:44:46,450 Getting hurt's part of the territory. 924 00:44:46,450 --> 00:44:48,452 Now we pat her dry, boys. 925 00:44:48,452 --> 00:44:50,454 Not that she don't enjoy being wet, 926 00:44:50,454 --> 00:44:52,923 but she likes to have her bottom patted. 927 00:44:56,026 --> 00:44:57,761 There. Come on, Luke. 928 00:44:57,761 --> 00:44:59,463 Yeah, go on, Luke. Don't be shy. 929 00:44:59,463 --> 00:45:01,065 You love to cook. 930 00:45:03,100 --> 00:45:04,468 That's Hazzard Mountain over there. 931 00:45:04,468 --> 00:45:06,370 You remember we flipped that car seven times. 932 00:45:06,370 --> 00:45:08,205 Shook our brains up a little bit, 933 00:45:08,205 --> 00:45:10,474 we still got up and delivered that load on time, on foot. 934 00:45:10,474 --> 00:45:12,042 - Remember that? - Ancient history. 935 00:45:12,042 --> 00:45:13,744 Well, I don't forget things like that. 936 00:45:13,744 --> 00:45:15,913 You done broke the pact that we used to live by. 937 00:45:15,913 --> 00:45:17,948 You don't hurt a fellow moonshiner. 938 00:45:17,948 --> 00:45:19,750 You broke the pact when you ended our business arrangement. 939 00:45:19,750 --> 00:45:21,819 Now that you aren't a friend of J.D. Hogg, 940 00:45:21,819 --> 00:45:23,487 you're finding Hazzard to be lonelier 941 00:45:23,487 --> 00:45:25,489 than a chubby kid at space camp. 942 00:45:25,489 --> 00:45:30,060 Now, you wanna stuff her body cavity. 943 00:45:31,495 --> 00:45:32,896 Come on. 944 00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:34,498 Mm. 945 00:45:34,498 --> 00:45:38,035 Stuff it good. Good. 946 00:45:38,035 --> 00:45:39,503 You try to get deep inside there. 947 00:45:39,503 --> 00:45:42,773 Come on, now. Get on up in there. 948 00:45:42,773 --> 00:45:44,174 Get it in there, Luke. Come on. 949 00:45:44,174 --> 00:45:46,143 Come on now. 950 00:45:46,143 --> 00:45:47,878 - Go on in there. - [Bo] Come on, Luke. Don't be shy. 951 00:45:47,878 --> 00:45:50,514 - OK. - Stick it in there. Come on. 952 00:45:50,514 --> 00:45:51,849 Come on, Luke. 953 00:46:02,526 --> 00:46:05,996 Look, Jesse loses control. Can he recover? 954 00:46:05,996 --> 00:46:07,798 You're gonna let this personal feud 955 00:46:07,798 --> 00:46:09,767 between you and I get out of hand. 956 00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:12,102 You got a dry county, and you're arresting moonshiners. 957 00:46:12,102 --> 00:46:13,437 These are nice guys. 958 00:46:13,437 --> 00:46:14,772 Your moonshining days are over. 959 00:46:14,772 --> 00:46:16,039 It's time for a new career. 960 00:46:16,039 --> 00:46:18,475 How about farming? 961 00:46:18,475 --> 00:46:20,377 Oh, hell, that's right. 962 00:46:20,377 --> 00:46:22,246 You've only got the farm a few more days. 963 00:46:22,246 --> 00:46:24,248 Jesse crashes and burns. 964 00:46:24,248 --> 00:46:26,350 Our condolences to his family. 965 00:46:26,350 --> 00:46:31,555 But the unbeatable, undeniable J.D. Hogg takes his victory lap, 966 00:46:31,555 --> 00:46:35,859 collects a million dollars and shags a movie star. 967 00:46:37,528 --> 00:46:40,531 Yeah, you're in a pickle, Jesse. 968 00:46:47,204 --> 00:46:49,072 It's amazing. 969 00:46:49,072 --> 00:46:52,576 You are single and down for anything. 970 00:46:52,576 --> 00:46:55,579 Any girl would love to snatch you up. 971 00:46:55,579 --> 00:46:56,980 He's right. 972 00:46:56,980 --> 00:46:59,016 Now for the most important part. 973 00:46:59,016 --> 00:47:01,151 We baste her with hot juices. 974 00:47:01,151 --> 00:47:03,587 She loves getting basted. 975 00:47:03,587 --> 00:47:04,588 There you go. 976 00:47:08,592 --> 00:47:10,260 [moans] 977 00:47:10,260 --> 00:47:12,262 [Lulu] Oh, God. 978 00:47:12,262 --> 00:47:16,967 Uh, Sis, where is Flashy and his little squeaky toy? 979 00:47:16,967 --> 00:47:19,503 You know, the one that looks like a bandido? 980 00:47:24,608 --> 00:47:27,177 You fellas wait right here while I go get my gun. 981 00:47:27,177 --> 00:47:28,946 Dear Brother, you are in my home 982 00:47:28,946 --> 00:47:30,881 'cause your wife tossed you out on your ear. 983 00:47:30,881 --> 00:47:32,883 Now, if you don't want to sleep at the jail, 984 00:47:32,883 --> 00:47:34,384 leave these boys alone. 985 00:47:34,384 --> 00:47:36,220 These hoodlums are trespassing. 986 00:47:36,220 --> 00:47:39,256 As far as I'm concerned, they are innocent 987 00:47:39,256 --> 00:47:41,925 until someone else is proven more adorable. 988 00:47:41,925 --> 00:47:43,627 [moans] 989 00:47:43,627 --> 00:47:46,296 Well, I'm gonna nail you Dukes hard from behind 990 00:47:46,296 --> 00:47:48,298 when you least expect it. 991 00:47:48,298 --> 00:47:49,366 Kinky. 992 00:47:51,535 --> 00:47:54,238 All right, boys, come on, let's get out of here. 993 00:47:54,238 --> 00:47:55,873 Y'all let me know if you need any job applications. 994 00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:58,242 I do own a few businesses in town. 995 00:47:58,242 --> 00:48:01,645 You come back any time, Luke. You'll be my special helper. 996 00:48:01,645 --> 00:48:03,180 Oh, he'll be back. 997 00:48:05,082 --> 00:48:06,984 When do we bust them, Boss? 998 00:48:06,984 --> 00:48:08,652 Don't you worry, Rosco. 999 00:48:08,652 --> 00:48:11,154 If I know Jesse, he ain't done cooking shine 1000 00:48:11,154 --> 00:48:13,657 until they plant his corpse with the spring crops. 1001 00:48:13,657 --> 00:48:15,058 [laughing] 1002 00:48:16,994 --> 00:48:20,130 [Jesse] I want to show you boys something that I'm real proud of. 1003 00:48:20,130 --> 00:48:22,499 We'll take your word for it. 1004 00:48:22,499 --> 00:48:26,470 I've been working long and hard to make this one come out right. 1005 00:48:26,470 --> 00:48:28,505 OK, that's disgusting. 1006 00:48:30,107 --> 00:48:32,309 This is where we hide the Duke still. 1007 00:48:35,445 --> 00:48:39,182 [Balladeer] Welcome to the place where dreams are made. 1008 00:48:39,182 --> 00:48:41,652 And illegally bottled and sold at a profit. 1009 00:48:43,587 --> 00:48:46,690 [Bo] Luke, I have a feeling that we are about to see 1010 00:48:46,690 --> 00:48:50,694 how the VIPs are treated at this farm. 1011 00:48:50,694 --> 00:48:53,697 [Jesse] This old still has been in our family for over 100 years, boys. 1012 00:48:53,697 --> 00:48:55,999 It makes the best shine in the county. 1013 00:48:55,999 --> 00:48:58,001 Back during Prohibition, Great Grandpa Duke 1014 00:48:58,001 --> 00:49:00,037 called together a meeting of all the shiners. 1015 00:49:00,037 --> 00:49:02,039 It was his idea to sell a lot at one time 1016 00:49:02,039 --> 00:49:04,241 and make enough money to get through the winter. 1017 00:49:04,241 --> 00:49:06,343 Genius. A flea market for moonshiners. 1018 00:49:06,343 --> 00:49:08,312 Yeah, kind of like a Shine Mart. 1019 00:49:08,312 --> 00:49:09,713 Well, this is our last shot, boys. 1020 00:49:09,713 --> 00:49:12,015 So we got to make a lot in the next 24 hours. 1021 00:49:12,015 --> 00:49:13,417 Let's not waste any time. 1022 00:49:13,417 --> 00:49:14,718 Let's go get Daisy. 1023 00:49:14,718 --> 00:49:16,720 Wait. 1024 00:49:16,720 --> 00:49:19,289 Leave Daisy alone. She's got her heart set on that job at the Nest, 1025 00:49:19,289 --> 00:49:20,724 and I ain't seen her this passionate 1026 00:49:20,724 --> 00:49:22,492 since she played the Virgin Mary 1027 00:49:22,492 --> 00:49:24,227 at the Christmas pageant. 1028 00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:27,431 [people chattering] 1029 00:49:30,233 --> 00:49:33,437 Ain't nothing exciting ever gonna happen around here again. 1030 00:49:37,541 --> 00:49:38,608 [man] Shit! 1031 00:49:57,627 --> 00:49:59,429 I want a job here. 1032 00:50:00,330 --> 00:50:01,531 Done. 1033 00:50:03,233 --> 00:50:05,268 I want you take me out tomorrow night. 1034 00:50:05,268 --> 00:50:06,603 Done. 1035 00:50:09,373 --> 00:50:11,775 Hey, what's your cell phone number so I can call you. 1036 00:50:11,775 --> 00:50:15,545 Cell phone? Oh, you can reach me by CB. 1037 00:50:15,545 --> 00:50:19,049 My handle is Bo Peep. 1038 00:50:21,485 --> 00:50:23,387 Y'all have a pleasant evening. 1039 00:50:26,123 --> 00:50:28,658 You can put your eyeballs back in your head. 1040 00:50:31,628 --> 00:50:33,230 [men chattering] 1041 00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:39,336 [Balladeer] Shine Mart, where the community comes 1042 00:50:39,336 --> 00:50:41,772 for bull rides, booze and breasts. 1043 00:50:41,772 --> 00:50:44,741 That's what I call real family values. 1044 00:50:44,741 --> 00:50:47,744 Attention, folks. If you drank Ugly Andy's shine, 1045 00:50:47,744 --> 00:50:49,446 you might want to report to the medic's tent 1046 00:50:49,446 --> 00:50:51,548 'cause you got two minutes to live. 1047 00:50:51,548 --> 00:50:53,383 [Balladeer] But tonight's not all about fun. 1048 00:50:53,383 --> 00:50:56,186 This is the Dukes' last shot at saving the farm. 1049 00:50:56,186 --> 00:50:58,655 Nice bouquet. Slightly fruity. 1050 00:50:58,655 --> 00:51:01,291 Burns your balls off. Makes you blind. 1051 00:51:01,291 --> 00:51:02,826 I'll take six cases. 1052 00:51:02,826 --> 00:51:04,494 [laughing] 1053 00:51:04,494 --> 00:51:07,164 ♪ Many things my words can never say ♪ 1054 00:51:11,168 --> 00:51:14,571 ♪ My angels will surround me ♪ 1055 00:51:14,571 --> 00:51:18,208 ♪ And within my heart forever stay ♪ 1056 00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:19,843 [man 1] Hey, it's Uncle Jesse! 1057 00:51:19,843 --> 00:51:21,711 [all cheering] 1058 00:51:21,711 --> 00:51:23,447 [man 2] Yeah, Uncle Jesse! 1059 00:51:25,849 --> 00:51:28,685 ♪ Eagle, forever cry my name ♪ 1060 00:51:34,524 --> 00:51:36,560 ♪ When I wake up ♪ 1061 00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,830 ♪ Your tears will shed a potion to my pain ♪ 1062 00:51:44,301 --> 00:51:46,703 ♪ Our soul shine like northern light ♪ 1063 00:51:46,703 --> 00:51:48,338 Cooter! 1064 00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,173 Hey, Candy Corn 1065 00:51:50,173 --> 00:51:52,275 and Licorice Stick. Nicknames. 1066 00:51:52,275 --> 00:51:54,878 Use them or lose them. Your choice. 1067 00:51:54,878 --> 00:51:56,179 Oh, hang on. 1068 00:51:57,747 --> 00:52:00,484 She's going to pick a dance partner. 1069 00:52:00,484 --> 00:52:03,120 P-Pick me! C-Cooter can dance! 1070 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:04,855 Right here! Got my hand up! 1071 00:52:04,855 --> 00:52:06,490 Come on, right here! 1072 00:52:06,490 --> 00:52:08,658 I'll make you red hot! I'll get you going! 1073 00:52:08,658 --> 00:52:11,228 Come on! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! 1074 00:52:11,228 --> 00:52:12,796 Have you seen enough? 1075 00:52:12,796 --> 00:52:14,264 I think so. 1076 00:52:15,398 --> 00:52:16,833 Come on. 1077 00:52:16,833 --> 00:52:18,602 [man on PFolks, there's a pickup truck, 1078 00:52:18,602 --> 00:52:20,637 license plate, Shiner Sixty-Niner. 1079 00:52:20,637 --> 00:52:21,905 Your lights are on. 1080 00:52:24,608 --> 00:52:25,709 Red hot! 1081 00:52:49,766 --> 00:52:53,370 You got somebody you want to call? 1082 00:52:53,370 --> 00:52:57,374 Well, if you weren't right here, I'd call you. 1083 00:52:57,374 --> 00:52:59,809 But since you're right here... 1084 00:53:07,951 --> 00:53:09,553 You wanna go inside? 1085 00:53:16,326 --> 00:53:20,964 All I want is one taste of that sweet, fiery nectar. 1086 00:53:20,964 --> 00:53:23,567 - I know! - [Jesse] Come here. I wanna tell y'all something. 1087 00:53:23,567 --> 00:53:25,936 First Shine Mart we had over here, 1088 00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:27,904 Feds come in to bust us, 1089 00:53:27,904 --> 00:53:29,573 but they couldn't find no evidence. 1090 00:53:29,573 --> 00:53:31,508 Me and Grandpa Duke drank it all up. 1091 00:53:31,508 --> 00:53:33,376 I was blind for four days. 1092 00:53:33,376 --> 00:53:35,412 I couldn't see a goddamn thing. 1093 00:53:35,412 --> 00:53:37,380 I didn't have no hands, I didn't have no legs. 1094 00:53:37,380 --> 00:53:38,982 Just kind of floated around for a while. 1095 00:53:38,982 --> 00:53:41,284 Said they found me the next morning, 1096 00:53:41,284 --> 00:53:43,620 I was bumping a six-row cultivator all night long. 1097 00:53:43,620 --> 00:53:44,988 [all laughing] 1098 00:53:44,988 --> 00:53:47,991 So why can't we drink shine? 1099 00:53:47,991 --> 00:53:49,793 Your folks don't want y'all drinking shine. 1100 00:53:49,793 --> 00:53:52,996 You can't handle it. 1101 00:53:52,996 --> 00:53:54,998 A couple of little cuties there that might want to go for a roll in the hay. 1102 00:53:54,998 --> 00:53:57,000 You got my permission to do that if you want to. 1103 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,002 And Duke 'em one time for Uncle Jesse. 1104 00:53:59,002 --> 00:54:01,771 - You got it, Uncle Jesse. - Thanks, Uncle Jesse. 1105 00:54:05,008 --> 00:54:07,644 I'm waiting. 1106 00:54:07,644 --> 00:54:09,446 How long? 1107 00:54:09,446 --> 00:54:12,549 Till marriage. 1108 00:54:12,549 --> 00:54:14,484 We have to keep our clothes on. 1109 00:54:15,919 --> 00:54:19,322 You mean dry-humping? 1110 00:54:19,322 --> 00:54:20,924 In layman's terms... 1111 00:54:27,030 --> 00:54:29,633 We need a blueprint, a strategy to get inside 1112 00:54:29,633 --> 00:54:32,002 these girls' hearts and their pants. 1113 00:54:33,637 --> 00:54:36,039 There's those cute boys again. 1114 00:54:36,039 --> 00:54:39,042 Of course, what about being spontaneous? 1115 00:54:39,042 --> 00:54:41,711 Just go up, startle them, terrify them, 1116 00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:43,647 say the first thing that comes to our head. 1117 00:54:43,647 --> 00:54:46,049 I can't do that. 1118 00:54:46,049 --> 00:54:49,853 If I can ask questions and pretend to listen, 1119 00:54:49,853 --> 00:54:51,621 then you can go up to Ali Handy 1120 00:54:51,621 --> 00:54:53,323 like a commando with a death wish 1121 00:54:53,323 --> 00:54:55,458 on his last mission. 1122 00:54:56,459 --> 00:54:57,661 - Yeah. - Go. 1123 00:55:00,797 --> 00:55:03,066 - Ali Handy? - Mm-hmm. 1124 00:55:03,066 --> 00:55:08,038 Me and you is like nitroglycerin and diatomaceous earth. 1125 00:55:08,038 --> 00:55:11,508 Pure dynamite when combined. 1126 00:55:11,508 --> 00:55:13,343 You care to join me for a bull ride? 1127 00:55:13,343 --> 00:55:16,046 [chuckles] No. 1128 00:55:16,046 --> 00:55:18,848 I'll watch. 1129 00:55:18,848 --> 00:55:22,419 I bet you're pure sex on a bull. 1130 00:55:29,759 --> 00:55:31,428 Oh, to be young again. 1131 00:55:33,496 --> 00:55:35,498 I'd like to ask you a few questions. 1132 00:55:35,498 --> 00:55:38,068 Ooh! Ask away, then. 1133 00:55:41,071 --> 00:55:45,642 What is all this about alternative energy? 1134 00:55:45,642 --> 00:55:48,845 And how do you keep your ass so firm? 1135 00:55:50,347 --> 00:55:51,981 Want to get comatosed? 1136 00:55:53,917 --> 00:55:56,119 So that's what firewater tastes like. 1137 00:55:56,119 --> 00:55:57,787 Good stuff. 1138 00:55:57,787 --> 00:55:59,089 [breathing heavily] 1139 00:56:06,563 --> 00:56:08,998 That was amazing. 1140 00:56:08,998 --> 00:56:12,135 We'll have to try that wet sometime. 1141 00:56:12,135 --> 00:56:14,504 You'll have to put a ring on my finger. 1142 00:56:14,504 --> 00:56:17,707 That is incredibly hot. 1143 00:56:17,707 --> 00:56:19,609 Let's get drunk. 1144 00:56:19,609 --> 00:56:21,644 I ain't never got drunk before. 1145 00:56:21,644 --> 00:56:24,914 It's a night of firsts, huh? 1146 00:56:24,914 --> 00:56:29,119 I heard your uncle makes the best moonshine in the state. 1147 00:56:29,119 --> 00:56:30,720 Where did you hear that? 1148 00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:33,156 It's a small town. 1149 00:56:33,156 --> 00:56:37,727 Hey, Daisy, you can trust me. 1150 00:56:37,727 --> 00:56:39,429 I'm not like other guys. 1151 00:56:41,431 --> 00:56:43,133 You can't tell a soul. 1152 00:56:44,701 --> 00:56:46,035 Promise? 1153 00:56:49,406 --> 00:56:51,040 Promise. 1154 00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,777 [Balladeer] Something here stinks, and it ain't me. 1155 00:57:07,123 --> 00:57:09,893 Oh, oh, I'm blind. 1156 00:57:09,893 --> 00:57:12,829 The damn shine makes you blind. 1157 00:57:12,829 --> 00:57:15,098 They've never been drunk before, huh? 1158 00:57:15,098 --> 00:57:17,901 Like all boys, they've never been a lot of things. 1159 00:57:17,901 --> 00:57:21,204 Sophisticated, graceful or... 1160 00:57:21,204 --> 00:57:23,072 [shushing] 1161 00:57:23,072 --> 00:57:25,074 You'll wake the stars. 1162 00:57:26,443 --> 00:57:27,744 They're real pretty stars. 1163 00:57:27,744 --> 00:57:29,078 Makes me wanna cry. 1164 00:57:29,078 --> 00:57:31,047 Hey, let's do another shot. 1165 00:57:37,220 --> 00:57:40,723 - [police siren wailing] - I swear the boys in this town... 1166 00:57:40,723 --> 00:57:42,158 - Cops. - Cops. 1167 00:57:54,237 --> 00:57:56,206 [Rosco] Hold it right there, now! 1168 00:57:57,507 --> 00:57:59,776 We got a moonshine party, Boss. 1169 00:57:59,776 --> 00:58:01,611 [gun firing] All right, everybody! 1170 00:58:01,611 --> 00:58:03,246 Hold it! Freeze! Freeze! 1171 00:58:03,246 --> 00:58:05,248 [laughs] Look at them all running. 1172 00:58:06,049 --> 00:58:08,585 Wilma... 1173 00:58:08,585 --> 00:58:10,887 Shouldn't you be home with the kids? 1174 00:58:10,887 --> 00:58:13,256 My, my, my. 1175 00:58:13,256 --> 00:58:16,192 All right, y'all want the good news or the bad news first? 1176 00:58:16,192 --> 00:58:19,162 Well, the good news is this heat spell's supposed to lighten up. 1177 00:58:19,162 --> 00:58:24,501 The bad news is you're all going to jail tonight. 1178 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:26,269 - Uh, Boss? - Yeah? 1179 00:58:26,269 --> 00:58:29,906 I don't think them Duke boys is here, Boss. 1180 00:58:29,906 --> 00:58:32,876 You ain't ruining my special night, Rosco. 1181 00:58:32,876 --> 00:58:35,945 Now we'll get them, sooner or later. 1182 00:58:35,945 --> 00:58:41,017 But for now, this prom queen is going to enjoy his special moment. 1183 00:58:41,017 --> 00:58:42,185 Excuse me. 1184 00:58:45,555 --> 00:58:49,526 'Cause the reason is sitting right here. 1185 00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:52,061 What in the world's happened to you, J.D.? 1186 00:58:52,061 --> 00:58:54,197 Oh, no, call me "Boss." 1187 00:58:54,197 --> 00:58:57,734 [rooster crowing] 1188 00:59:00,303 --> 00:59:02,005 Where are the girls? 1189 00:59:08,311 --> 00:59:11,614 Damn it. I still have my underwear on. 1190 00:59:11,614 --> 00:59:14,751 Man, Shine Mart was awesome last night. 1191 00:59:14,751 --> 00:59:16,920 I don't remember anything about it. 1192 00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:20,056 Uncle Jesse is going to be pissed. 1193 00:59:20,056 --> 00:59:21,257 [siren wails] 1194 00:59:25,728 --> 00:59:27,330 [Luke] Oh, my God! 1195 00:59:27,330 --> 00:59:29,632 [Bo] I wonder what happened. 1196 00:59:29,632 --> 00:59:32,669 We better go find Uncle Jesse. 1197 00:59:32,669 --> 00:59:33,670 [groans] 1198 00:59:36,573 --> 00:59:37,707 [man whistles] 1199 00:59:37,707 --> 00:59:39,309 [man] Look awful nice, girl. 1200 00:59:41,911 --> 00:59:44,647 [Rosco] All right, knock it off back there, boys. 1201 00:59:47,050 --> 00:59:48,985 I don't know what all the fuss is about. 1202 00:59:48,985 --> 00:59:51,254 Well, you're missing 99% of your pants. 1203 00:59:51,254 --> 00:59:54,357 And the other one percent is covering your magic part. 1204 00:59:54,357 --> 00:59:56,859 Well, I like the way they make me feel. 1205 00:59:56,859 --> 00:59:58,361 Hughie likes them. 1206 00:59:58,361 --> 00:59:59,829 Of course he does. 1207 00:59:59,829 --> 01:00:01,130 [Daisy] Uncle Jesse. 1208 01:00:01,130 --> 01:00:03,099 Easy there, Twiggy. 1209 01:00:03,099 --> 01:00:07,837 Now, you will keep your hands off the zoo critters. Hmm? 1210 01:00:07,837 --> 01:00:12,108 Now you got five minutes to do what youse gots to do. 1211 01:00:14,377 --> 01:00:16,145 We're sorry, Uncle Jesse. 1212 01:00:16,145 --> 01:00:18,114 We never should have left you there at Shine Mart. 1213 01:00:18,114 --> 01:00:20,049 Then you'd be in jail with me now. 1214 01:00:20,049 --> 01:00:21,751 I'm sorry I got y'all into this. 1215 01:00:21,751 --> 01:00:23,319 I was a big fool to do that. 1216 01:00:23,319 --> 01:00:25,388 So how y'all holding up? 1217 01:00:25,388 --> 01:00:27,123 Well, these old guys ain't got no business in here. 1218 01:00:27,123 --> 01:00:29,325 They got farms and families at home. 1219 01:00:29,325 --> 01:00:30,927 Well, worry no more. 1220 01:00:30,927 --> 01:00:34,697 We have got a foolproof plan to bust you out. 1221 01:00:34,697 --> 01:00:36,633 All right, so I'm going to rig this jail 1222 01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:39,402 with 500 pounds of military-grade C-4, 1223 01:00:39,402 --> 01:00:41,838 blast a hole big enough for the General to drive through... 1224 01:00:41,838 --> 01:00:43,940 Yeah, yeah, I got you. But why don't you 1225 01:00:43,940 --> 01:00:46,843 just catch a bus and go back home? 1226 01:00:46,843 --> 01:00:49,212 You need to lean on us like we lean on you. 1227 01:00:49,212 --> 01:00:51,114 Never abandon a fellow runner. 1228 01:00:53,349 --> 01:00:55,918 I'll tell you what we might do. 1229 01:00:55,918 --> 01:00:58,921 J.D. has got a lot of important papers over at his house. 1230 01:00:58,921 --> 01:01:00,423 And I know he's up to something. 1231 01:01:00,423 --> 01:01:02,392 That would be a good place to start. 1232 01:01:02,392 --> 01:01:05,261 'Cause once a shiner, always a shiner. 1233 01:01:05,261 --> 01:01:07,363 All right. We'll go up there right now. 1234 01:01:07,363 --> 01:01:10,033 Be careful. Don't run in there too quick. Be smart. 1235 01:01:10,033 --> 01:01:12,669 Be strong. 1236 01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:15,038 [Balladeer] Now why would an old moonshiner 1237 01:01:15,038 --> 01:01:17,740 like J.D. Hogg lock up Uncle Jesse? 1238 01:01:17,740 --> 01:01:19,909 That's what the boys are here to find out. 1239 01:01:19,909 --> 01:01:22,445 But first they got to distract Lulu. 1240 01:01:22,445 --> 01:01:25,448 And that's up to Luke, and he ain't exactly thrilled. 1241 01:01:25,448 --> 01:01:28,451 See, Lulu is only distracted by two things. 1242 01:01:28,451 --> 01:01:31,921 Barbecue and hot, succulent boys. 1243 01:01:31,921 --> 01:01:34,957 Stop worrying and roll with it. 1244 01:01:34,957 --> 01:01:37,260 Trust your instincts. 1245 01:01:37,260 --> 01:01:41,064 I don't have instincts. I have plans. 1246 01:01:41,064 --> 01:01:42,965 At least I used to, until now. 1247 01:01:42,965 --> 01:01:45,468 [Bo] All we got to do is stall Lulu for ten minutes, 1248 01:01:45,468 --> 01:01:47,470 then we're gone. 1249 01:01:47,470 --> 01:01:49,939 I mean, what could happen in 10 minutes, right? 1250 01:01:51,274 --> 01:01:52,975 ["Dixie" playing] 1251 01:01:58,081 --> 01:01:59,315 Hi, boys. 1252 01:01:59,315 --> 01:02:01,050 Howdy, Lulu. 1253 01:02:01,050 --> 01:02:03,052 You are looking fine today. 1254 01:02:03,052 --> 01:02:04,387 Thank you. 1255 01:02:08,357 --> 01:02:10,460 Can I-I-I be your... 1256 01:02:13,096 --> 01:02:15,064 special helper? 1257 01:02:15,064 --> 01:02:17,400 Oh, yes. Come. Come on. 1258 01:02:23,873 --> 01:02:26,976 It was sweet of Bo to give us some alone time. 1259 01:02:26,976 --> 01:02:29,812 Oh, yeah, he's... He's real generous. 1260 01:02:29,812 --> 01:02:31,013 Mm-hmm. 1261 01:02:31,981 --> 01:02:33,349 Ah! 1262 01:02:33,349 --> 01:02:36,953 You know, you and Boss look real happy. 1263 01:02:36,953 --> 01:02:40,089 Our wedding photo. J.D. neglects me. 1264 01:02:40,089 --> 01:02:41,524 He can't help it, though. 1265 01:02:41,524 --> 01:02:44,260 That's why we never had any kids. 1266 01:02:44,260 --> 01:02:47,130 What... you're telling me the most powerful man in Hazzard is... 1267 01:02:47,130 --> 01:02:48,765 Yup. 1268 01:02:48,765 --> 01:02:51,200 Mm-hmm. His testicles shut down the sperm bank 1269 01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:53,870 and sent all the workers to China. 1270 01:02:53,870 --> 01:02:57,907 Now, mind if I slip into something more... 1271 01:02:59,041 --> 01:03:00,543 Comfortable? 1272 01:03:00,543 --> 01:03:02,545 Oh, I was gonna say boner-inducing, 1273 01:03:02,545 --> 01:03:05,314 but "comfortable" is a polite way of putting it. 1274 01:03:09,819 --> 01:03:12,388 [BalladeeWhile Luke's learning the fine art of seducing 1275 01:03:12,388 --> 01:03:14,891 the mentally deranged upstairs, 1276 01:03:14,891 --> 01:03:17,460 Bo's searching for evidence downstairs. 1277 01:03:20,263 --> 01:03:21,798 This is for Uncle Jesse. 1278 01:03:21,798 --> 01:03:24,567 I can do this, man. This is for Uncle Jesse. 1279 01:03:24,567 --> 01:03:26,536 Yeah, for Uncle Jesse. 1280 01:03:30,473 --> 01:03:32,942 Come to mamacita. Come on. 1281 01:03:38,548 --> 01:03:39,916 [clicking tongue] 1282 01:03:42,318 --> 01:03:44,253 Yeah? 1283 01:03:44,253 --> 01:03:48,424 Luke, is this your first time? 1284 01:03:48,424 --> 01:03:49,959 - First time? - Mm-hmm. 1285 01:03:49,959 --> 01:03:51,561 Oh, I've slept with a thousand women. 1286 01:03:51,561 --> 01:03:53,396 - Oh, yeah? - Of all kinds, too. 1287 01:03:53,396 --> 01:03:55,832 Sometimes I feel like I work for the U.N. 1288 01:03:55,832 --> 01:03:58,935 And I've done, done every position. 1289 01:03:58,935 --> 01:04:00,903 I've even invented a few myself. 1290 01:04:05,875 --> 01:04:07,310 Boss, you fiend. 1291 01:04:08,911 --> 01:04:11,180 First time? That's funny. 1292 01:04:11,180 --> 01:04:14,083 Well, honey, you're more fidgety than a queer rooster 1293 01:04:14,083 --> 01:04:16,452 in an undersexed henhouse, huh? 1294 01:04:16,452 --> 01:04:18,988 Look, if you wanna take a breather and go downstairs, 1295 01:04:18,988 --> 01:04:20,122 we can go get Bo. 1296 01:04:20,122 --> 01:04:22,258 No, no! I want you now. 1297 01:04:22,258 --> 01:04:25,628 Oh, oh, Luke. 1298 01:04:25,628 --> 01:04:27,630 [Balladeer] Looks like J.D.'s serious 1299 01:04:27,630 --> 01:04:30,266 about replacing beers with milkshakes. 1300 01:04:30,266 --> 01:04:32,969 Then again, things ain't always what they seem. 1301 01:04:32,969 --> 01:04:35,471 That's the golden rule in Hazzard. 1302 01:04:35,471 --> 01:04:36,606 [groans] 1303 01:04:45,448 --> 01:04:48,184 [Boss] You shut the door one more time, 1304 01:04:48,184 --> 01:04:50,620 I'll marinate you, grill you and eat your ass for supper. Goodbye! 1305 01:04:52,154 --> 01:04:53,656 Luke. 1306 01:04:53,656 --> 01:04:55,324 Luke! 1307 01:04:55,324 --> 01:04:56,626 [Bo over intercom] You are going to die! 1308 01:04:56,626 --> 01:04:58,027 Luke, come in! 1309 01:04:58,027 --> 01:05:00,630 Lulu, my steamed dumpling! 1310 01:05:00,630 --> 01:05:03,032 Big Daddy Trouble's home! 1311 01:05:04,267 --> 01:05:06,202 Damn! What's going on? 1312 01:05:06,202 --> 01:05:08,404 Oh, you Duke boys are in trouble now! 1313 01:05:09,372 --> 01:05:11,340 [Bo] Pull out! 1314 01:05:11,340 --> 01:05:13,910 Pull out! 1315 01:05:13,910 --> 01:05:16,012 Big Daddy Trouble's coming, Lulu! 1316 01:05:16,012 --> 01:05:18,347 Oh, Big Daddy Trouble, save me, save me! 1317 01:05:18,347 --> 01:05:20,917 Now, Big Daddy Trouble, I-I was just paying Miss Hogg here a friendly visit. 1318 01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:24,320 Oh, you're gonna pay a friendly visit to the emergency room. 1319 01:05:24,320 --> 01:05:26,389 [grunts] 1320 01:05:26,389 --> 01:05:27,657 Oh, my... 1321 01:05:28,624 --> 01:05:31,160 Come on, Luke! 1322 01:05:31,160 --> 01:05:33,963 Come back and see me again! 1323 01:05:33,963 --> 01:05:36,265 Rosco, I'm being invaded by Dukes! 1324 01:05:39,101 --> 01:05:41,704 [siren wails] 1325 01:05:41,704 --> 01:05:44,206 You messing with me, boys, huh? 1326 01:05:45,241 --> 01:05:47,009 [grunts] 1327 01:05:47,009 --> 01:05:48,311 Take that for coming after with my wife! 1328 01:05:48,311 --> 01:05:49,712 Luke! 1329 01:05:49,712 --> 01:05:51,047 I'm coming, Boss. 1330 01:05:51,047 --> 01:05:52,281 Good, Rosco, quick! 1331 01:05:52,281 --> 01:05:54,016 Get after them, them Duke boys. 1332 01:05:54,016 --> 01:05:55,651 You won't believe what happened! 1333 01:05:55,651 --> 01:05:58,421 Put the dog down, take my car, go after them! 1334 01:05:58,421 --> 01:06:00,056 You were gonna leave me again! 1335 01:06:00,056 --> 01:06:01,290 You forgot to fill the tank again. 1336 01:06:01,290 --> 01:06:02,391 [gun firing] 1337 01:06:02,391 --> 01:06:04,393 [yells] 1338 01:06:04,393 --> 01:06:05,695 - [Boss] I'm coming for you boys! - Oh, man! 1339 01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:09,265 [screams] 1340 01:06:09,265 --> 01:06:11,100 [laughing] 1341 01:06:11,100 --> 01:06:12,401 Move over! 1342 01:06:16,372 --> 01:06:17,707 Oh, I'm ready now. 1343 01:06:17,707 --> 01:06:19,008 What is that? 1344 01:06:19,008 --> 01:06:20,376 Shit-shine ball. 1345 01:06:22,044 --> 01:06:23,079 Whoa! 1346 01:06:26,182 --> 01:06:27,717 [both whooping] 1347 01:06:30,586 --> 01:06:31,754 Shit! 1348 01:06:31,754 --> 01:06:34,590 [tires screeching] 1349 01:06:34,590 --> 01:06:37,059 [Bo] I'm backing, I'm backing, I'm backing! 1350 01:06:37,059 --> 01:06:38,594 [Luke] Keep your eyes on the road! 1351 01:06:38,594 --> 01:06:40,563 Eyes? Who needs eyes? 1352 01:06:45,768 --> 01:06:47,403 Whoa! "Vote for Boss?" 1353 01:06:47,403 --> 01:06:48,671 [both whooping] 1354 01:06:50,473 --> 01:06:52,141 Lean to the left! Lean to the left! 1355 01:06:52,141 --> 01:06:53,743 Drive somewhere! 1356 01:06:54,777 --> 01:06:56,679 That was fast! 1357 01:06:56,679 --> 01:06:57,680 Go! 1358 01:06:58,714 --> 01:06:59,782 They're getting... 1359 01:06:59,782 --> 01:07:02,585 Rosco! 1360 01:07:02,585 --> 01:07:04,353 St. Peter, I'm here. 1361 01:07:04,353 --> 01:07:05,621 [whimpers] 1362 01:07:05,621 --> 01:07:07,523 Rosco! What are you doing? 1363 01:07:07,523 --> 01:07:09,458 They'll be drinking margaritas in Mexico 1364 01:07:09,458 --> 01:07:11,360 by the time you finish with your nap! 1365 01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:16,198 Uh, Flash had a little puppy meatloaf, Boss. 1366 01:07:16,198 --> 01:07:17,800 That's the sickest thing I've seen today. 1367 01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:19,802 Get this thing cleaned up! 1368 01:07:19,802 --> 01:07:22,772 God! This mud! Good Lord! 1369 01:07:33,149 --> 01:07:36,118 So, this is awkward. 1370 01:07:37,319 --> 01:07:40,356 This day never happened, all right? 1371 01:07:40,356 --> 01:07:42,558 If someone ask us what happened on this day, 1372 01:07:42,558 --> 01:07:45,227 we'll say, "That's the day we went bowling!" 1373 01:07:45,227 --> 01:07:48,831 And not the day that Lulu Hogg rode you like a Minotaur? 1374 01:07:48,831 --> 01:07:50,399 Exactly. 1375 01:07:50,399 --> 01:07:52,234 Not that day. 1376 01:07:52,234 --> 01:07:54,170 [Daisy over radio] Got your ears on, Lost Sheep? 1377 01:07:55,838 --> 01:07:58,574 Got our ears on and eyes peeled. 1378 01:07:58,574 --> 01:08:00,810 Listen, fellas, something strange is going on here. 1379 01:08:00,810 --> 01:08:03,846 I saw boxes being delivered by armed deputies. 1380 01:08:03,846 --> 01:08:07,083 Sort of odd in a place where lemon sorbet is on the menu. 1381 01:08:07,083 --> 01:08:10,386 Hang on, Daisy, we'll be there later. 1382 01:08:10,386 --> 01:08:12,822 First, we gotta dress up for the occasion. 1383 01:08:14,857 --> 01:08:16,325 [whooping] 1384 01:08:21,263 --> 01:08:23,099 Rosco. 1385 01:08:23,099 --> 01:08:25,401 You still stink. 1386 01:08:25,401 --> 01:08:28,337 You stink so bad, your kids' kids are gonna stink, 1387 01:08:28,337 --> 01:08:31,207 if anyone'll procreate with you, which I doubt. 1388 01:08:31,207 --> 01:08:35,244 Now, come on, Boss, I did my very, very best. 1389 01:08:35,244 --> 01:08:39,181 Rosco, if I want advice on letting criminals escape, 1390 01:08:39,181 --> 01:08:40,616 I'll call you. 1391 01:08:40,616 --> 01:08:42,351 Calm down. 1392 01:08:42,351 --> 01:08:44,720 Them Dukes. They-They assaulted my boar, 1393 01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:47,423 they violated the sanctity of my home, 1394 01:08:47,423 --> 01:08:50,126 and they molested my tender flower of a wife. 1395 01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:52,495 Oh, yeah, Boss, I can picture it now. 1396 01:08:52,495 --> 01:08:56,465 Their greasy little fingers running all over her hot buttocks 1397 01:08:56,465 --> 01:08:59,668 like a chubby kid looking for chicken wings in the bottom of a basket. 1398 01:08:59,668 --> 01:09:01,704 Rosco! 1399 01:09:01,704 --> 01:09:05,908 You dummy, I don't wanna imagine the circumstance. 1400 01:09:05,908 --> 01:09:07,543 I want them in jail! 1401 01:09:07,543 --> 01:09:09,912 Can you do that? Can you just... 1402 01:09:09,912 --> 01:09:13,782 I got enough worries with my ice cream parlor investors. 1403 01:09:13,782 --> 01:09:15,584 Just add more deputies. 1404 01:09:15,584 --> 01:09:17,820 Do whatever it takes. 1405 01:09:17,820 --> 01:09:19,755 I-I can't rest until their gonads are scattered 1406 01:09:19,755 --> 01:09:22,791 to the four corners of Hazzard. 1407 01:09:22,791 --> 01:09:25,728 [Balladeer] Hazzard's a place where dreams do come true. 1408 01:09:25,728 --> 01:09:27,463 Bo and Luke got famous. 1409 01:09:27,463 --> 01:09:29,198 Just the wrong way. 1410 01:09:29,198 --> 01:09:30,933 Enos finally got deputized. 1411 01:09:30,933 --> 01:09:34,470 A hall monitor with a gun. Lord save us. 1412 01:09:36,672 --> 01:09:38,941 With their faces plastered all over town, 1413 01:09:38,941 --> 01:09:41,443 the boys figured they needed a makeover. 1414 01:09:41,443 --> 01:09:44,213 Why the hell do I have to wear the skirt? 1415 01:09:44,213 --> 01:09:46,815 Because you have nicer legs. 1416 01:09:46,815 --> 01:09:49,285 Thank you. 1417 01:09:49,285 --> 01:09:51,854 [BalladeeNo way to sugarcoat it, they make damn fine-looking women. 1418 01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:53,956 Get over and talk to them right now, you hear me, boy? 1419 01:09:53,956 --> 01:09:55,391 All right. 1420 01:09:55,391 --> 01:09:56,759 Excuse me. 1421 01:09:58,794 --> 01:10:00,563 You ladies don't look like you're from around here. 1422 01:10:00,563 --> 01:10:03,432 - Can I help? - Yes... 1423 01:10:03,432 --> 01:10:05,968 I'm Detective Amanda Smith 1424 01:10:05,968 --> 01:10:09,939 and this is my partner, Anita Davington. 1425 01:10:09,939 --> 01:10:12,875 We're-We're with the Federal Bureau of Frozen Delights, 1426 01:10:12,875 --> 01:10:15,644 and we are conducting an investigation. 1427 01:10:15,644 --> 01:10:16,946 Federal agents? 1428 01:10:18,514 --> 01:10:20,382 I'm Deputy Enos Strate. 1429 01:10:20,382 --> 01:10:23,586 You know, you ought to talk to Daisy. 1430 01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:26,455 [Enos] She's real nice. 1431 01:10:26,455 --> 01:10:29,992 Here she comes now. 1432 01:10:29,992 --> 01:10:33,896 If you need any further assistance, just give me a holler. 1433 01:10:33,896 --> 01:10:35,931 [country music playing on stereo] 1434 01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:40,869 Here's the key to Boss Hogg's office. 1435 01:10:42,371 --> 01:10:45,774 Now, hold on there one minute, little lady. 1436 01:10:45,774 --> 01:10:47,810 Failure to dance with the sheriff 1437 01:10:47,810 --> 01:10:50,646 is a crime here in Hazzard County, 1438 01:10:50,646 --> 01:10:55,918 punishable by ten years in a maximum-security prison. 1439 01:10:55,918 --> 01:10:59,021 Now, my ex, she chucked this old poon hound to the curb 1440 01:10:59,021 --> 01:11:02,758 like a perp charged on indecent exposure, 1441 01:11:02,758 --> 01:11:06,996 failure to communicate, and wagon wheels on a wing nut. 1442 01:11:06,996 --> 01:11:10,499 [laughing] 1443 01:11:10,499 --> 01:11:15,004 She thinks upholding the law is the only thing I care about. 1444 01:11:15,004 --> 01:11:18,841 But I do have my other passions. 1445 01:11:19,875 --> 01:11:21,777 [muffled laughing] 1446 01:11:21,777 --> 01:11:24,880 Don't get fresh, Sheriff. 1447 01:11:24,880 --> 01:11:27,049 Oh, my. 1448 01:11:27,049 --> 01:11:31,053 You have a grip like an anaconda. 1449 01:11:31,053 --> 01:11:33,689 I bet you could swallow me whole, too. 1450 01:11:42,564 --> 01:11:45,067 Come on, let's go. 1451 01:11:45,067 --> 01:11:47,970 [Balladeer] The boys' wigs got them in. 1452 01:11:47,970 --> 01:11:50,739 But it was time to leave the distracting work to a professional. 1453 01:11:50,739 --> 01:11:55,077 You ain't never gonna look at a sundae the same way again. 1454 01:11:55,077 --> 01:11:56,412 Oh, baby. 1455 01:11:56,412 --> 01:11:57,713 [officer 1]: Oh, my. 1456 01:11:57,713 --> 01:11:59,748 ♪ Got a love like a flame ♪ 1457 01:11:59,748 --> 01:12:01,884 ♪ I can feel it burning ♪ 1458 01:12:01,884 --> 01:12:03,385 [officer 2] Yeah, that's cold, all right. 1459 01:12:03,385 --> 01:12:04,486 ♪ When you look my way ♪ 1460 01:12:04,486 --> 01:12:05,788 Cool me down. 1461 01:12:05,788 --> 01:12:08,057 ♪ Come on over here, baby ♪ 1462 01:12:08,057 --> 01:12:10,392 ♪ If you wanna get warm ♪ 1463 01:12:10,392 --> 01:12:12,861 ♪ Get out of those wet clothes ♪ 1464 01:12:12,861 --> 01:12:15,030 ♪ Come in out of that storm ♪ 1465 01:12:15,030 --> 01:12:19,601 ♪ 'Cause it's cold out there ♪ 1466 01:12:19,601 --> 01:12:20,769 Sweet. 1467 01:12:20,769 --> 01:12:23,939 ♪ It's gonna get hot ♪ 1468 01:12:25,407 --> 01:12:27,643 Rosco shouldn't treat a lady like that. 1469 01:12:27,643 --> 01:12:29,345 Now you're a lady? 1470 01:12:29,345 --> 01:12:31,380 No, but I should be treated like one. 1471 01:12:31,380 --> 01:12:33,515 Oh, man, these hose are killing me. 1472 01:12:36,452 --> 01:12:37,619 Ooh. 1473 01:12:38,587 --> 01:12:40,422 [man] Man, that's hot. 1474 01:12:41,490 --> 01:12:43,092 ♪ Swell ♪ 1475 01:12:47,796 --> 01:12:50,065 ♪ I know you've been lonely ♪ 1476 01:12:50,065 --> 01:12:52,701 ♪ You've been feeling the breeze ♪ 1477 01:12:52,701 --> 01:12:55,371 ♪ You need a little love down ♪ 1478 01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:57,106 ♪ A little fire and steam ♪ 1479 01:13:02,378 --> 01:13:04,079 Hey, look, look at that. 1480 01:13:11,153 --> 01:13:12,788 [laughs] 1481 01:13:12,788 --> 01:13:14,656 Well, how's it coming with the investors? 1482 01:13:14,656 --> 01:13:16,158 It's just a matter of time before the other commissioners 1483 01:13:16,158 --> 01:13:17,960 turn the whole state dry. 1484 01:13:17,960 --> 01:13:21,163 No one resists the Hogg, John, including Daisy Duke. 1485 01:13:21,163 --> 01:13:23,699 It was a lot more fun finding out about their still 1486 01:13:23,699 --> 01:13:26,835 from that hot piece of tail than those hillbillies, Bo and Luke. 1487 01:13:26,835 --> 01:13:29,571 In less than 24 hours, we are foreclosing 1488 01:13:29,571 --> 01:13:32,040 on that Duke farm and take that still. 1489 01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:34,743 Then you'll add your premium shine. 1490 01:13:34,743 --> 01:13:37,813 You know, before you go on your rounds in the morning, 1491 01:13:37,813 --> 01:13:39,181 stop by the Boar's Nest. 1492 01:13:39,181 --> 01:13:41,784 I got a present for my favorite nephew. 1493 01:13:41,784 --> 01:13:43,152 Hughie's a Hogg. 1494 01:13:47,823 --> 01:13:49,925 - Daisy. - Oh, Daisy. 1495 01:13:49,925 --> 01:13:51,059 Daisy, wait! 1496 01:13:54,196 --> 01:13:55,798 I can't believe what a jerk he is! 1497 01:13:55,798 --> 01:13:57,699 Daisy, wait! 1498 01:13:57,699 --> 01:13:59,802 I know you wanna wrap your thighs around his chest 1499 01:13:59,802 --> 01:14:01,036 and squeeze the air out of him, 1500 01:14:01,036 --> 01:14:02,938 so do I. 1501 01:14:02,938 --> 01:14:05,474 But we cannot let him know we're on to him. 1502 01:14:05,474 --> 01:14:08,210 We gotta follow Hughie and see where he takes us, OK? 1503 01:14:08,210 --> 01:14:10,746 - I'll kill him with my bare hands! - No, Daisy! 1504 01:14:10,746 --> 01:14:13,215 You'll get your chance with Hughie. 1505 01:14:13,215 --> 01:14:17,186 Right now, we gotta think about Uncle Jesse. 1506 01:14:20,789 --> 01:14:23,025 Sorry, Daisy. 1507 01:14:23,025 --> 01:14:27,463 They have messed with me at the wrong time of the month. 1508 01:14:27,463 --> 01:14:29,231 [Balladeer] Here's what we know so far. 1509 01:14:29,231 --> 01:14:31,099 Hughie's a no-good, two-faced Hogg 1510 01:14:31,099 --> 01:14:33,235 and Boss is still in the shine business. 1511 01:14:33,235 --> 01:14:35,237 With everybody locked up and the state going dry, 1512 01:14:35,237 --> 01:14:37,573 there'll be one place in town to get good and hammered, 1513 01:14:37,573 --> 01:14:40,209 the Boar's Nest ice cream parlor. 1514 01:14:40,209 --> 01:14:42,778 Hogg will make a killing, but Bo and Luke are hoping handsome Hughie 1515 01:14:42,778 --> 01:14:45,948 will lead them right to Boss's shine stash so they can stop him. 1516 01:14:45,948 --> 01:14:47,783 Do you follow? 1517 01:14:47,783 --> 01:14:49,785 I never said this was going to be easy. 1518 01:14:53,255 --> 01:14:55,257 [Luke] We'll lose him if he gets too far ahead! 1519 01:14:55,257 --> 01:15:00,062 I can't get too close. Driving's second nature to me, Luke. 1520 01:15:00,062 --> 01:15:02,898 Orange car. Smart pick, boys, smart pick. 1521 01:15:10,839 --> 01:15:12,007 What the hell? 1522 01:15:12,007 --> 01:15:13,275 I can't see anything. 1523 01:15:13,275 --> 01:15:15,244 Hughie is burning some dust. 1524 01:15:20,782 --> 01:15:23,752 I can feel the road. Snake coming. 1525 01:15:23,752 --> 01:15:25,287 You can feel the road? 1526 01:15:25,287 --> 01:15:27,556 Oh! Damn it, Bo, be careful! 1527 01:15:27,556 --> 01:15:29,057 I got it! I got it! 1528 01:15:35,297 --> 01:15:37,266 - Oh, shit! - Shit! 1529 01:15:46,842 --> 01:15:48,076 [Bo] Oh, man! 1530 01:15:50,612 --> 01:15:51,980 Beautiful driving. 1531 01:15:51,980 --> 01:15:54,016 You know, you come a long way. 1532 01:15:54,016 --> 01:15:55,817 Your instincts are worthless. 1533 01:15:55,817 --> 01:15:58,587 - I thought I had him. - Oh, you lost him. 1534 01:15:58,587 --> 01:16:01,857 You lost our best chance of nailing Boss and getting Uncle Jesse out. 1535 01:16:01,857 --> 01:16:04,092 Plan all you want, but somebody's gotta 1536 01:16:04,092 --> 01:16:06,828 actually drive and do something. 1537 01:16:06,828 --> 01:16:09,298 So you're the smart one, congrats. 1538 01:16:09,298 --> 01:16:11,567 What'd that get us, huh? 1539 01:16:11,567 --> 01:16:14,336 You know I should have left you at the farm that first night. 1540 01:16:14,336 --> 01:16:16,638 Now I'm stuck here with an idiot. 1541 01:16:18,307 --> 01:16:19,308 I'm gone. 1542 01:16:22,010 --> 01:16:23,912 That's what you're good at. 1543 01:16:23,912 --> 01:16:26,014 Leaving people behind. 1544 01:16:26,014 --> 01:16:30,352 Go! No one's gonna miss you. 1545 01:16:30,352 --> 01:16:33,689 Now maybe I can finally get laid. 1546 01:16:33,689 --> 01:16:35,257 [groans] 1547 01:16:35,257 --> 01:16:37,326 [Balladeer] You know something ain't right 1548 01:16:37,326 --> 01:16:40,128 when Bo kicks the thing he loves most in the world. 1549 01:16:40,128 --> 01:16:43,765 In fact, I'd say there ain't a whole lot that is right in Hazzard at the moment. 1550 01:16:46,635 --> 01:16:49,371 Poor Uncle Jesse, 1551 01:16:49,371 --> 01:16:52,040 just sitting in the clink wishing he was on the farm he loves. 1552 01:16:53,275 --> 01:16:55,911 Poor hot, juicy Daisy. 1553 01:16:55,911 --> 01:16:58,380 First, Hughie foreclosed on her heart, 1554 01:16:58,380 --> 01:17:00,749 then Rosco foreclosed on the farm. 1555 01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:19,768 And so, things didn't turn out 1556 01:17:19,768 --> 01:17:23,038 exactly like we hoped for the Dukes. 1557 01:17:23,038 --> 01:17:25,707 Ain't that the way life is sometimes? 1558 01:17:25,707 --> 01:17:27,409 Thanks! Thanks a lot! 1559 01:17:27,409 --> 01:17:30,312 [truck horn blaring] 1560 01:17:30,312 --> 01:17:32,781 [♪ Drive-by Truckers: "Tornadoes"] 1561 01:17:35,851 --> 01:17:38,420 Oh, I got it. I got it, Bo! 1562 01:17:38,420 --> 01:17:43,425 ♪ The clouds started forming 5:00 p.m. ♪ 1563 01:17:43,425 --> 01:17:45,994 ♪ The funnel clouds touched down ♪ 1564 01:17:45,994 --> 01:17:50,432 ♪ Five miles north of Russellville ♪ 1565 01:17:50,432 --> 01:17:53,101 ♪ The sirens were blowing ♪ 1566 01:17:53,101 --> 01:17:56,271 ♪ Clouds spat rain ♪ 1567 01:17:56,271 --> 01:17:59,307 ♪ And as the thing came through ♪ 1568 01:17:59,307 --> 01:18:03,412 ♪ I swear, it sounded like a train ♪ 1569 01:18:13,889 --> 01:18:18,760 ♪ It sounded like a train ♪ 1570 01:18:40,015 --> 01:18:42,484 I can't follow you, Luke. 1571 01:18:42,484 --> 01:18:46,488 I can't cross that line. 1572 01:18:46,488 --> 01:18:48,757 I love Hazzard. 1573 01:18:48,757 --> 01:18:51,093 I love my hair in the Hazzard sun. 1574 01:18:51,093 --> 01:18:54,029 I love Daisy and Uncle Jesse. 1575 01:18:54,029 --> 01:18:57,466 I love the smell of pig shit in the morning. 1576 01:18:57,466 --> 01:19:01,036 I love the feel of the General Lee's hood on my tight, toned butt. 1577 01:19:03,472 --> 01:19:07,109 Let's forget that all happened, all right? 1578 01:19:07,109 --> 01:19:08,510 Heat of the moment. 1579 01:19:08,510 --> 01:19:09,411 It'll never happen again. 1580 01:19:14,249 --> 01:19:16,451 - That truck wasn't cold. - What truck? 1581 01:19:16,451 --> 01:19:18,520 A Hogg ice cream truck just drove by. 1582 01:19:18,520 --> 01:19:21,356 I hit it with my hand, and it was warm. 1583 01:19:21,356 --> 01:19:24,526 It's kind of hard to keep ice cream cold with a truck with no freezer. 1584 01:19:26,962 --> 01:19:29,197 OK, I really am the good-looking one. 1585 01:19:29,197 --> 01:19:30,832 Explain. 1586 01:19:30,832 --> 01:19:32,868 Hogg's using the truck to transport shine. 1587 01:19:32,868 --> 01:19:35,103 It's a cover. 1588 01:19:35,103 --> 01:19:36,872 And I bet I know where he's keeping that shine. 1589 01:19:36,872 --> 01:19:39,407 Hogg's Ravine, the ice cream factory! 1590 01:19:39,407 --> 01:19:42,511 [laughing] 1591 01:19:42,511 --> 01:19:44,880 Come on. Let's go find Daisy and Cooter. 1592 01:19:44,880 --> 01:19:46,181 [people chattering] 1593 01:19:46,181 --> 01:19:48,550 The farm belongs to Boss at noon. 1594 01:19:48,550 --> 01:19:50,919 That doesn't give us much time. 1595 01:19:50,919 --> 01:19:53,121 I'm so stupid for falling for Hughie. 1596 01:19:53,121 --> 01:19:55,457 You're not stupid, Daisy. 1597 01:19:55,457 --> 01:19:58,527 You're the smartest person I know. 1598 01:19:58,527 --> 01:20:00,562 He made me feel pretty. 1599 01:20:00,562 --> 01:20:04,166 You don't need some big city jackass to tell you you're pretty. 1600 01:20:04,166 --> 01:20:06,034 Yeah. 1601 01:20:06,034 --> 01:20:08,003 Hell, Luke and I wanted to get nasty with you several times 1602 01:20:08,003 --> 01:20:10,972 till we realized you were our cousin. 1603 01:20:10,972 --> 01:20:13,441 Actually, that didn't even matter to Luke. 1604 01:20:14,910 --> 01:20:16,111 It's true. 1605 01:20:16,978 --> 01:20:19,247 Thanks, boys. 1606 01:20:19,247 --> 01:20:21,383 So what are we gonna do? 1607 01:20:21,383 --> 01:20:24,820 We are gonna get Boss to pay for the farm out of his own pocket. 1608 01:20:24,820 --> 01:20:27,823 And why would he do that? 1609 01:20:27,823 --> 01:20:31,092 [Balladeer] Nothing prettier than a good plan coming together amongst friends. 1610 01:20:31,092 --> 01:20:33,595 I know y'all are anxious to hear about it, 1611 01:20:33,595 --> 01:20:36,598 but that'd ruin the surprise. 1612 01:20:36,598 --> 01:20:39,501 Well, it ain't perfect. 1613 01:20:39,501 --> 01:20:41,369 The General's hurt. 1614 01:20:41,369 --> 01:20:43,438 [groans] 1615 01:20:43,438 --> 01:20:45,507 I can't believe I'm gonna let you leave with the seats all torn. 1616 01:20:45,507 --> 01:20:47,576 It breaks my damn heart. 1617 01:20:47,576 --> 01:20:49,444 And hopefully, she'll last long enough 1618 01:20:49,444 --> 01:20:52,280 for us to do what we gotta do. 1619 01:20:52,280 --> 01:20:54,549 Hope's all we got. 1620 01:20:54,549 --> 01:20:57,619 Hope and a prayer. 1621 01:20:57,619 --> 01:20:59,487 And a dream. 1622 01:20:59,487 --> 01:21:01,156 Hope and a prayer and a dream. 1623 01:21:01,156 --> 01:21:02,624 OK, we got it, Cooter. Thank you, buddy. 1624 01:21:02,624 --> 01:21:04,159 OK. 1625 01:21:04,159 --> 01:21:05,560 [Daisy] Be careful. 1626 01:21:08,630 --> 01:21:10,632 [Balladeer] Election day in Hazzard, 1627 01:21:10,632 --> 01:21:13,635 where folks are expected to vote early and vote often 1628 01:21:13,635 --> 01:21:16,571 for Jefferson Davis Hogg. 1629 01:21:16,571 --> 01:21:19,608 What a beautiful day for democracy here in Hazzard. 1630 01:21:19,608 --> 01:21:21,309 [laughing] 1631 01:21:21,309 --> 01:21:23,511 [Balladeer] Here's part one of the plan. 1632 01:21:23,511 --> 01:21:25,647 Y'all are gonna see what they mean by beauty and brains. 1633 01:21:25,647 --> 01:21:26,648 Hi, Deputy. 1634 01:21:29,351 --> 01:21:32,020 Anything exciting happening? 1635 01:21:32,020 --> 01:21:35,223 I don't really get to leave the station, so this is... 1636 01:21:35,223 --> 01:21:40,061 Well, I bet there's a lot of important police business here. 1637 01:21:40,061 --> 01:21:42,097 Wanna show me around? 1638 01:21:42,097 --> 01:21:43,632 Oh, yes, please. 1639 01:21:48,069 --> 01:21:51,640 Every voter is going to get a coupon good for a dollar off 1640 01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:55,243 at Hogg's Car Wash and Delicatessen. 1641 01:21:55,243 --> 01:21:57,379 Let's get high on the Hogg! 1642 01:21:57,379 --> 01:22:00,081 [Balladeer] Part two, Cooter's no philosopher, 1643 01:22:00,081 --> 01:22:02,684 but he can handle a tow truck with the grace of a figure skater. 1644 01:22:02,684 --> 01:22:04,920 Now all the commissioners here, 1645 01:22:04,920 --> 01:22:08,456 we've gotten together and they've seen how we're living in Hazzard. 1646 01:22:08,456 --> 01:22:11,693 It's pure, simple, it's good. 1647 01:22:11,693 --> 01:22:15,697 One hand on the Bible, the other hand on the plow. 1648 01:22:15,697 --> 01:22:21,703 That's why we've all banded together to turn our glorious state dry. 1649 01:22:21,703 --> 01:22:24,940 Now, this is just the beginning of a program that I... 1650 01:22:24,940 --> 01:22:27,175 [engine running] 1651 01:22:27,175 --> 01:22:31,279 [Balladeer] Part three, Bo, Luke and the General Lee. 1652 01:22:31,279 --> 01:22:35,250 - [people screaming] - The perfect marriage of men and machine. 1653 01:22:35,250 --> 01:22:39,321 Well, if it ain't the Duke boys come to turn themself in! 1654 01:22:39,321 --> 01:22:40,655 Rosco... 1655 01:22:40,655 --> 01:22:42,457 [Luke over radio] Now, Cooter. 1656 01:22:43,725 --> 01:22:45,026 What the... 1657 01:22:51,199 --> 01:22:52,701 Oh, boy, are you all right? 1658 01:22:52,701 --> 01:22:54,736 Howdy, Boss. 1659 01:22:54,736 --> 01:22:58,039 Oh, you Dukes are gonna face the firing squad for this. 1660 01:22:58,039 --> 01:23:00,742 - [yells] - Get in. 1661 01:23:00,742 --> 01:23:02,577 Go, Bo. 1662 01:23:02,577 --> 01:23:04,245 [Bo whooping] 1663 01:23:06,348 --> 01:23:08,350 [officer on radio] Attention all units. 1664 01:23:08,350 --> 01:23:12,454 Two male suspects driving a kick-ass orange '69 Charger 1665 01:23:12,454 --> 01:23:15,557 are believed to have kidnapped Commissioner Hogg. 1666 01:23:15,557 --> 01:23:18,426 All units respond. 1667 01:23:18,426 --> 01:23:20,195 Enjoy the sunny day. 1668 01:23:23,598 --> 01:23:25,233 [police sirens blaring] 1669 01:23:29,771 --> 01:23:32,307 This here is the emergency broadcast system. 1670 01:23:32,307 --> 01:23:34,776 Uh, in case of emergency, I get on the horn, 1671 01:23:34,776 --> 01:23:38,246 they send me in there, or I make-- I make the call, I mean... 1672 01:23:38,246 --> 01:23:40,482 I ain't never seen one of these before. 1673 01:23:40,482 --> 01:23:43,785 I don't think you should be playing with that, Daisy. 1674 01:23:43,785 --> 01:23:47,155 Enos, hand me that screwdriver. 1675 01:23:47,155 --> 01:23:48,456 Yes, ma'am. 1676 01:23:53,795 --> 01:23:55,263 [whooping] 1677 01:23:58,566 --> 01:24:00,568 You can slow down any time you want! 1678 01:24:00,568 --> 01:24:02,437 We got no reason to live! 1679 01:24:02,437 --> 01:24:05,106 You've taken the farm from us, locked up my Uncle Jesse, 1680 01:24:05,106 --> 01:24:07,108 now you got us on the run. 1681 01:24:07,108 --> 01:24:08,810 You plowed my wife's field you sexual miscreant. 1682 01:24:08,810 --> 01:24:10,678 You should burn at the stake! 1683 01:24:10,678 --> 01:24:12,447 We'd rather be the famous outlaws 1684 01:24:12,447 --> 01:24:14,149 that died in a police chase. 1685 01:24:14,149 --> 01:24:16,251 [both laughing] 1686 01:24:16,251 --> 01:24:19,220 Unless you tell us about your shine business! 1687 01:24:19,220 --> 01:24:21,756 That's a good one! I ain't telling you Dukes a thing! 1688 01:24:21,756 --> 01:24:23,291 It's either jail or the cemetery 1689 01:24:23,291 --> 01:24:24,759 for two no-good bums like you. 1690 01:24:24,759 --> 01:24:27,262 Guess we'll take the cemetery, then! 1691 01:24:47,415 --> 01:24:48,550 Yeah! 1692 01:24:51,519 --> 01:24:53,855 Those darn Duke boys. 1693 01:24:53,855 --> 01:24:56,091 It don't get any better than this! 1694 01:25:06,234 --> 01:25:07,836 We got them now! 1695 01:25:07,836 --> 01:25:09,504 [whooping] 1696 01:25:12,273 --> 01:25:16,411 This is Rosco P. Coltrane, and I'm in hot pursuit of them Duke boys. 1697 01:25:22,517 --> 01:25:23,885 He shot us! 1698 01:25:23,885 --> 01:25:26,821 [whooping] 1699 01:25:26,821 --> 01:25:28,656 "Protect and serve," my ass! 1700 01:25:31,493 --> 01:25:33,695 Hot damn! 1701 01:25:33,695 --> 01:25:34,896 Get their tires! 1702 01:25:34,896 --> 01:25:36,764 Don't shoot me, you stupid... 1703 01:25:36,764 --> 01:25:38,766 Hot damn! I'm alive! 1704 01:25:49,644 --> 01:25:50,912 What are you doing? 1705 01:25:52,714 --> 01:25:54,682 Wait! You ain't gonna do it! 1706 01:25:54,682 --> 01:25:56,584 Boss, you got anything you'd like to say to your maker, 1707 01:25:56,584 --> 01:25:57,886 now's a good time. 1708 01:25:59,487 --> 01:26:01,156 You ready, Daisy? 1709 01:26:01,156 --> 01:26:02,857 Ten-four. Go for it, Luke. 1710 01:26:04,592 --> 01:26:05,894 You're bluffing! 1711 01:26:07,595 --> 01:26:08,930 Don't do it! No! 1712 01:26:14,869 --> 01:26:15,870 What... 1713 01:26:20,475 --> 01:26:21,910 Getting close, Boss. 1714 01:26:26,281 --> 01:26:28,917 OK! OK, I... 1715 01:26:28,917 --> 01:26:31,319 I locked up your uncle so I could... 1716 01:26:31,319 --> 01:26:32,787 So I could run a monopoly, 1717 01:26:32,787 --> 01:26:35,290 shine monopoly out of the Boar's Nest, see? 1718 01:26:35,290 --> 01:26:37,625 - [Boss over PA] Then I'd watch these normal people... - He's a pig! 1719 01:26:37,625 --> 01:26:39,894 ...spending their hard-earned dollars! 1720 01:26:40,895 --> 01:26:42,797 Decent people 1721 01:26:42,797 --> 01:26:46,367 spending their money there! Are you happy? 1722 01:26:46,367 --> 01:26:48,303 Are you happy? Is that a crime? 1723 01:26:50,238 --> 01:26:53,208 [Daisy] You boys did it! Everyone in town heard Boss. 1724 01:26:53,208 --> 01:26:55,977 Why, you dirty, filthy, conniving Dukes! 1725 01:26:55,977 --> 01:26:57,579 Well, it don't matter, though. 1726 01:26:57,579 --> 01:26:59,280 You need a little thing called evidence. 1727 01:26:59,280 --> 01:27:00,982 Then we got one more thing to do! 1728 01:27:00,982 --> 01:27:02,817 No you don't! No you don't! 1729 01:27:02,817 --> 01:27:05,753 No! 1730 01:27:05,753 --> 01:27:07,388 [officer on radio] They're heading back for the ravine! 1731 01:27:07,388 --> 01:27:09,624 They're gonna die! 1732 01:27:09,624 --> 01:27:11,993 Jump that already! Jump it! 1733 01:27:11,993 --> 01:27:13,261 [all whooping] 1734 01:27:18,366 --> 01:27:20,702 [yelling] 1735 01:27:27,442 --> 01:27:29,510 ["Dixie" playing on horn] 1736 01:27:29,510 --> 01:27:30,645 [screams] 1737 01:27:35,416 --> 01:27:37,352 [all screaming] 1738 01:27:48,596 --> 01:27:49,731 [Bo] Damn! 1739 01:27:56,938 --> 01:27:58,873 [Balladeer] Kind of a nifty plan, huh? 1740 01:27:58,873 --> 01:28:02,310 See, the boys just found Boss Hogg's shine operation. 1741 01:28:02,310 --> 01:28:04,012 You know what that means. 1742 01:28:05,046 --> 01:28:06,781 Excuse me. 1743 01:28:06,781 --> 01:28:08,016 [grunts] 1744 01:28:11,352 --> 01:28:13,855 [Balladeer] [laughs] I hope Boss brought his checkbook. 1745 01:28:16,057 --> 01:28:17,458 Oh, boy. 1746 01:28:21,663 --> 01:28:24,432 [Balladeer] Folks were mighty tired of all the shenanigans. 1747 01:28:24,432 --> 01:28:27,869 So, Boss was forced to let the shiners go. 1748 01:28:27,869 --> 01:28:30,071 [Jesse] Whoa! Hey. 1749 01:28:30,071 --> 01:28:33,074 Well, well, well. 1750 01:28:33,074 --> 01:28:36,944 [Rosco] Looks like little bluebird is ready to fly. 1751 01:28:36,944 --> 01:28:39,047 - Hey. - Hey! 1752 01:28:39,047 --> 01:28:41,816 It's the boys and the girl. How are you? 1753 01:28:41,816 --> 01:28:44,018 You know, your folks sent y'all down here to learn to be gentlemen, 1754 01:28:44,018 --> 01:28:46,721 you wind up breaking the law, running shine and doing 1755 01:28:46,721 --> 01:28:48,956 a damn good job of it, too, I might add. 1756 01:28:48,956 --> 01:28:51,059 Let's blow this pop stand, come on. 1757 01:28:52,493 --> 01:28:54,062 You good-for-nothing. 1758 01:28:58,533 --> 01:29:00,802 Take it all in, Hughie 1759 01:29:00,802 --> 01:29:04,605 'cause they don't serve anything this fine in here. 1760 01:29:07,875 --> 01:29:10,111 Oh, wait, wait, wait. No, no. 1761 01:29:10,111 --> 01:29:12,113 Daisy, I'm available for conjugal visits. 1762 01:29:12,113 --> 01:29:14,115 Daisy! 1763 01:29:14,115 --> 01:29:16,551 [Balladeer] And since someone needed to take the fall, 1764 01:29:16,551 --> 01:29:20,088 Boss set up Hughie as his personal Humpty Dumpty. 1765 01:29:23,424 --> 01:29:24,659 [grunting] 1766 01:29:34,135 --> 01:29:36,904 On one... 1767 01:29:36,904 --> 01:29:39,140 [Balladeer] The voters weren't too happy when they learned what Hogg was up to. 1768 01:29:39,140 --> 01:29:41,442 So they saw fit to elect a better man. 1769 01:29:41,442 --> 01:29:43,044 An honest man. 1770 01:29:43,044 --> 01:29:46,147 A... dead man. 1771 01:29:46,147 --> 01:29:47,949 Turned out the shock of winning 1772 01:29:47,949 --> 01:29:49,517 was too much for old man Abernathy. 1773 01:29:49,517 --> 01:29:52,453 May he rest in peace. 1774 01:29:52,453 --> 01:29:56,157 So the voters, in their infinite wisdom, put Boss back in office, 1775 01:29:56,157 --> 01:29:59,026 figuring the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. 1776 01:29:59,026 --> 01:30:01,429 Get your hand off of there now. 1777 01:30:01,429 --> 01:30:05,700 His first official act was to pardon himself of all wrongdoing. 1778 01:30:05,700 --> 01:30:09,404 Boss regretted offering that reward for uncovering shine. 1779 01:30:09,404 --> 01:30:11,606 He figured nobody'd ever catch on to him. 1780 01:30:11,606 --> 01:30:14,175 Then, again, he never figured on Bo and Luke. 1781 01:30:14,175 --> 01:30:16,978 They used the reward to buy back the farm. 1782 01:30:20,715 --> 01:30:25,153 Bo finally found someone who appreciated his particular driving skills. 1783 01:30:25,153 --> 01:30:26,154 [whoops] 1784 01:30:27,522 --> 01:30:29,157 Wait! Did I-- Did I pass? 1785 01:30:34,796 --> 01:30:36,431 - Yes! - Yeah! 1786 01:30:38,766 --> 01:30:40,968 While Luke found the one gal impressed 1787 01:30:40,968 --> 01:30:42,970 by a fella who can blow shit up. 1788 01:30:44,639 --> 01:30:45,807 [screams] 1789 01:30:49,210 --> 01:30:53,214 Looks like he'll finally lose his virginity, 1790 01:30:53,214 --> 01:30:56,484 and to someone who doesn't sexually abuse poultry. 1791 01:31:00,221 --> 01:31:03,558 Uncle Jesse told the kids he was quitting the shine business 1792 01:31:03,558 --> 01:31:07,628 to spend the rest of his days as a simple farmer. 1793 01:31:07,628 --> 01:31:09,997 They should have known that didn't smell right. 1794 01:31:09,997 --> 01:31:12,733 Once a shiner, always a shiner. 1795 01:31:12,733 --> 01:31:16,237 [Bo] Race you to the General! 1796 01:31:16,237 --> 01:31:18,139 Hey, where y'all going? 1797 01:31:18,139 --> 01:31:20,241 - [Bo] We'll be back! - [Luke] Don't wait up! 1798 01:31:20,241 --> 01:31:21,909 [♪ John Anderson: "Good Ol' Boys"] 1799 01:31:21,909 --> 01:31:24,111 [BalladeeYou know the moment in your life 1800 01:31:24,111 --> 01:31:26,247 when you realize you're exactly where you're meant to be? 1801 01:31:26,247 --> 01:31:28,483 [whooping] 1802 01:31:28,483 --> 01:31:31,219 Hazzard's a place where two good old boys with a fast car 1803 01:31:31,219 --> 01:31:34,121 can really make a name for themselves. 1804 01:31:34,121 --> 01:31:36,123 ♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em ♪ 1805 01:31:36,123 --> 01:31:37,825 ♪ But the law never will ♪ 1806 01:31:38,860 --> 01:31:40,695 [car approaching] 1807 01:31:40,695 --> 01:31:41,996 - [Bo and Luke whooping] - ♪ Makin' their way ♪ 1808 01:31:41,996 --> 01:31:43,931 ♪ The only way they know how ♪ 1809 01:31:46,567 --> 01:31:49,070 ♪ That's just a little bit more ♪ 1810 01:31:49,070 --> 01:31:51,239 ♪ Than the law will allow ♪ 1811 01:31:53,207 --> 01:31:54,675 [Luke] Floor it, Bo. Floor it! 1812 01:31:54,675 --> 01:31:55,843 [Bo] Damn! 1813 01:32:00,781 --> 01:32:02,116 All right! 1814 01:32:15,997 --> 01:32:17,999 ["Dixie" plays on horn] 1815 01:32:19,767 --> 01:32:21,636 I don't understand what's going on. 1816 01:32:23,804 --> 01:32:25,239 [shouting] 1817 01:32:25,239 --> 01:32:28,943 [Boss] Those Duke sons of bitches! 1818 01:32:28,943 --> 01:32:31,546 Oh, shit! 1819 01:32:31,546 --> 01:32:35,316 Well, you dirty son of a bitch... 1820 01:32:35,316 --> 01:32:38,019 [director] Cut, cut, cut, cut. 1821 01:32:38,019 --> 01:32:40,821 You two sure are pretty. 1822 01:32:40,821 --> 01:32:42,590 [man laughing] 1823 01:32:42,590 --> 01:32:44,292 [hip-hop music playing] 1824 01:32:48,329 --> 01:32:50,965 Stop hanging around, you little monkey. 1825 01:32:50,965 --> 01:32:53,334 Fucking around is all I ever care about. 1826 01:32:53,334 --> 01:32:57,071 [laughing] 1827 01:32:57,071 --> 01:32:58,873 We didn't wanna hit your dog. 1828 01:32:58,873 --> 01:33:01,175 Was I talking to you there, circle of life, 1829 01:33:01,175 --> 01:33:03,644 golden hair, zebra-eating freak? 1830 01:33:04,679 --> 01:33:05,947 Rosco! 1831 01:33:05,947 --> 01:33:08,883 Flash had a little 1832 01:33:08,883 --> 01:33:10,318 chip wiggle, Boss. 1833 01:33:14,589 --> 01:33:17,792 Was I talking to you, blueberry cobbler ass? 1834 01:33:20,695 --> 01:33:22,263 [laughing] 1835 01:33:22,263 --> 01:33:23,898 - Gonads scattered in a... - Stop. 1836 01:33:23,898 --> 01:33:25,700 Stop it right there. 1837 01:33:25,700 --> 01:33:28,169 I love grease and scattered gonads, Boss. 1838 01:33:29,670 --> 01:33:31,038 [screams] 1839 01:33:31,038 --> 01:33:33,341 Come on! Come here, come here. 1840 01:33:33,341 --> 01:33:35,109 You hide behind those pigtails and those braces. 1841 01:33:35,109 --> 01:33:37,378 Come on, come on! I can take her! 1842 01:33:37,378 --> 01:33:39,647 You got two weeks, 1843 01:33:39,647 --> 01:33:41,682 then I'm sending Rosco out to foreclose on the farm. 1844 01:33:41,682 --> 01:33:43,384 And you call yourself a Mason. 1845 01:33:43,384 --> 01:33:44,719 [Boss laughing] 1846 01:33:44,719 --> 01:33:46,053 Yes, I do. 1847 01:33:50,925 --> 01:33:54,395 That's the sickest thing I've seen today. Get this thing cleaned up! 1848 01:33:54,395 --> 01:33:58,399 We cleaning, Boss, we cleaning. 1849 01:33:58,399 --> 01:34:02,970 When you say shine, your eyes go all buggy like a retarded dragonfly. 1850 01:34:02,970 --> 01:34:04,805 [laughing] 1851 01:34:04,805 --> 01:34:06,741 [Bo] Hey, can I drive, Uncle Jesse? 1852 01:34:06,741 --> 01:34:08,409 I just got my learner's permit. 1853 01:34:09,410 --> 01:34:12,380 [grunts] 1854 01:34:12,380 --> 01:34:14,415 [Jesse] Looks like you got a little more learning to do. 1855 01:34:14,415 --> 01:34:16,384 Besides that, that ain't my car. 1856 01:34:18,285 --> 01:34:23,424 God, you don't have to push me around like a dirty, fat kid... 1857 01:34:23,424 --> 01:34:24,925 [laughing] 1858 01:34:24,925 --> 01:34:27,928 That's a scary-ass pig. 1859 01:34:27,928 --> 01:34:30,297 It's really funny until you have your hand chewed off. 1860 01:34:30,297 --> 01:34:32,133 All right, this is just for the outtakes. 1861 01:34:32,133 --> 01:34:34,168 The cemetery. 1862 01:34:34,168 --> 01:34:36,437 You might wanna try some of that mouth to snout while you're down here. 1863 01:34:36,437 --> 01:34:38,439 Come on, Flash, honey. 1864 01:34:38,439 --> 01:34:43,310 Let's go get some little greeny-weenies, some Chinese schoolboys. 1865 01:34:44,445 --> 01:34:46,280 Oh, no, call me "Boss." 1866 01:34:46,280 --> 01:34:48,416 [laughing] 1867 01:34:48,416 --> 01:34:50,918 I got you, Boss, right here in my britches. 1868 01:34:52,920 --> 01:34:58,292 This is Rosco P. Coltrane, production fuck-stick. 1869 01:34:58,292 --> 01:34:59,427 [all laughing] 1870 01:35:00,294 --> 01:35:01,328 Marker. 1871 01:35:01,328 --> 01:35:03,798 [laughing] 1872 01:35:03,798 --> 01:35:05,199 You got all tongue-tied, Boss? 1873 01:35:05,199 --> 01:35:07,101 I sure did, yeah. 1874 01:35:07,101 --> 01:35:08,903 Did you step in something, son, 1875 01:35:08,903 --> 01:35:10,805 because there's some kind of... 1876 01:35:12,139 --> 01:35:13,307 Help. 1877 01:35:13,307 --> 01:35:14,809 Oh, shit. 1878 01:35:14,809 --> 01:35:16,110 There goes my career! 1879 01:35:16,110 --> 01:35:18,479 It's suicide. It's suicide. 1880 01:35:18,479 --> 01:35:21,716 I gotta... I gotta get out! 1881 01:35:21,716 --> 01:35:24,485 ["Dixie" plays on horn]