PREVIOUSLY ON "UGLY BETTY"... AAH!
YOU HAVE EXACTLY THE RIGHT VOICE FOR A NEW MAGAZINE I'M STARTING.
I WANT YOU TO HELP ME RUN IT... IN LONDON.
THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT I AUTOMATICALLY LIKED.
I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THAT GIRL. (gasps)
(Amanda) MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER HAS THAT TWEETY BIRD TATTOO.
IT'S A GREAT FEELING, ISN'T IT,
WHEN EVERYTHING IS... RIGHT IN THE WORLD?
HI, MR. DUNN. I WOULD LIKE TO ACCEPT YOUR OFFER.
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU.
I'M THE ONE WHO MADE YOU FEEL THIS WAY. GIVE ME THE GUN.
(gunshot)
(Marc) FASHIONISTA, TRENDSETTER,
LOYAL FRIEND...
THIS CHERISHED ICON
WHO ONCE WALKED THE HALLS OF "MODE"
IS NOW EATING OUT OF THE HANDS OF ANGELS
AND SOILING THE CARPETS OF HEAVEN FOR ALL ETERNITY.
AMEN. (man) HALLELUJAH.
POOR ALSTON. HE WAS A GOOD DOG, AMANDA.
HE WAS.
GOOD-BYE, HALSTON.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT MARC. THE ONLY CONNECTION
TO THE MOTHER I NEVER KNEW IS GONE.
(sobs)
(grunts)
AAH!
INDIGENOUS. GOOD LOOK FOR YOU.
OFFICER, THERE THEY ARE! AMANDA...
YOU SAID YOU GOT A PERMIT FOR THIS, RIGHT?
(gasps) RUN!
RUN! (Marc gasps)
♪♪♪
(Amanda) RUN!
CRISIS "MODE"--
WITH "MODE" JUST WEEKS AWAY
FROM PUBLISHING ITS 100th ANNIVERSARY ISSUE,
WILHELMINA SLATER IS STILL UNCONSCIOUS
AFTER A MYSTERIOUS SHOOTING AT THE "MODE" OFFICES.
(gunshot) AND THAT BULLET
MUST HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH BEAUTY POWDER,
BECAUSE SHE LOOKS RAVISHING.
SO FAR THE ONLY INFORMATION WE HAVE
IS THAT HER LONGTIME NEMESIS CLAIRE MEADE
WAS THE SOLE WITNESS.
SHE CLAIMS THE SHOOTING WAS AN ACCIDENT,
WHICH HAS FASHIONISTAS EVERYWHERE STRAINING
TO RAISE THEIR EYEBROWS. COME ON. LET'S GO.
B., HOW CAN YOU MOVE TO LONDON?
WON'T YOU MISS ALL THE KIDNAPPING,
SHOOTING AND MURDER AT "MODE"? MM, NO, NOT REALLY.
THIS LOOKS SO GOOD. YEAH, I GOTTA SAY,
I'M REALLY GLAD I'M BECOMING A PART OF THIS LATIN FAMILY.
AW, KID, WE ARE GONNA SPICE YOU UP SO MUCH,
YOU'RE GONNA FORGET YOU'RE WHITE.
OKAY, THIS SMELLS AMAZING. LET'S EAT.
(Ignacio) UNH-UNH. HANDS OFF.
FOR YOU, SHEEP'S HEART,
LIVER AND LUNG STUFFED IN INTESTINE,
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS HAGGIS.
(family groans)
(Justin) EW! OH, MY GOD. (Betty) OH!
OH, MY GOD. I'M GONNA VOMIT. PAPI, WHY?
I-I'M FINE JUST EATING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS EATING. MIJA, THAT'S WHAT THEY EAT IN THE U.K.
YOU NEED TO TOUGHEN UP YOUR STOMACH BEFORE YOU GO.
UGH. UNLESS, UH...
YOU WANT TO STAY. (nasally voice) PAPI, I AM TAKING THE JOB IN LONDON.
I UNDERSTAND. (sighs)
OH, LOOK, SO I BEEN LOOKING AT A COUPLE OF HOUSES
THAT LOOK PRETTY GOOD. SHH!
(whispers) HE'S IN THE OTHER ROOM. (whispers) YOU GUYS ARE MOVING?
(normal voice) WE'RE JUST LOOKING.
WE HAVEN'T TOLD PAPI YET. WITH YOU LEAVING AND EVERYTHING,
IT'S JUST--IT'S HARD TIME. (lowered voice) WELL, HE'S GONNA HAVE TO GET USED TO IT SOMETIME.
BESIDES, I SAW SOME NICE PLACES IN BAY RIDGE--
BAY RIDGE?! (Hilda and Betty) SHH.
(lowered voice) LOOK,
JUST SWEAR THAT WE ARE GONNA LOOK IN MANHATTAN.
AND THANKS TO THE GREAT RECESSION,
YOU'D BE SURPRISED ON HOW AFFORDABLE THINGS ARE NOW. HEY, HEY.
(gulps) BETTY, YOU HAVEN'T TOUCHED THE HAGGIS.
TRUST ME, YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT IT WHEN IT'S COLD.
(cell phone ringing) THAT'S MY PHONE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? WHERE DID YOU EVEN FIND THAT?
OH! DANIEL. HI, DANIEL!
YES. I CAN BE RIGHT THERE.
(beep) SORRY, GUYS. DANIEL NEEDS ME.
SO... I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO EAT WITH HIM.
ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA TELL HIM THAT YOU'RE MOVING TO LONDON?
YES, I'M GOING TO TELL HIM. IT'S JUST NOT EASY. OKAY?
HE GAVE ME MY START. I OWE HIM EVERYTHING.
BUT I'VE MADE MY DECISION, AND I'M GONNA TELL HIM.
SORRY I CAN'T STAY FOR DINNER.
(monitor beeping rhythmically)
YOU REALLY HAVEN'T MISSED THAT MUCH.
WE HAD THIS RIDICULOUS ABORTED FUNERAL FOR AMANDA'S DOG.
(snickers) SHE BROUGHT THAT BIG QUEEN
WHO I THINK IS HER FATHER.
BUT I'M NOT SURE, AND I WOULD JUST HATE FOR HER
TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT AGAIN.
WHAT ELSE CAN I TELL YOU?
OH. WELL, I'M STILL NOT OVER TROY
EVEN THOUGH HE'S GOT A BOYFRIEND.
H--WHAT? (laughs)
STOP IT.
I LIKE HIM.
OH, YOU'RE SO BAD.
(beeping continues)
WILLIE...
I KNEW YOUR OBSESSION WITH THE MEADES
WOULD GET THE BETTER OF YOU.
NOW LOOK AT YOU. YOUR MAKEUP IS STILL FLAWLESS,
BUT YOU'RE IN A COMA. (sighs)
I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY,
'CAUSE ALL THIS SCHEMING...
IT'S KILLING YOU.
(beeping continues)
YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS IS THE BEST CONVERSATION
WE'VE EVER HAD.
ARE YOU CRAZY? (laughs)
LOOK, YOU'RE DOING YOUR FISHY FACE THING IN THIS ONE.
NO, I'M NOT. THAT'S JUST MY FACE.
NO, IT'S NOT. AND YOU'RE STANDING LIKE A ROBOT.
SO MY SHOULDERS DON'T DROOP. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THAT?
DANIEL, THIS IS YOUR BIG PICTURE
FOR THE 100th ANNIVERSARY ISSUE.
THIS LOOKS LIKE THE GUY THAT I MET MY FIRST DAY ON THE JOB.
THIS IS POSE-Y DANIEL. YOU'RE NOT THAT GUY ANYMORE.
WELL, THANK YOU. I WILL TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT.
SO, UM... DANIEL,
UH... LISTEN.
THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TELL YOU.
WAIT. UH, ONE QUICK THING.
IN THIS ISSUE, WE'RE DOING PROFILES
OF EVERYONE WHO'S EVER BEEN EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF "MODE,"
AND I WAS HOPING MAYBE YOU'D WRITE MINE.
(voice breaking) REALLY?
OH, MY GOD! I WOULD LOVE THAT!
GOOD. 'CAUSE I GOTTA TELL YA,
THERE'S NO WAY I COULD'VE DONE THIS JOB WITHOUT YOU.
I THINK WE MAKE A GOOD TEAM, YOU AND ME.
SO... I INTERRUPTED YOU.
WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?
(normal voice) UM...
YOU KNOW WHAT? I FORGOT.
(sighs)
GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE.
NO, I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO TELL DANIEL YET.
WELL, DON'T YOU THINK HE'LL NOTICE
WHEN YOU STOP SHOWING UP FOR WORK IN THREE WEEKS?
HILDA, I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS. I'M AT WORK.
AND IF ANYONE HERE FINDS OUT I'M TAKING A JOB IN LONDON,
IT WILL SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE. YOU'RE TAKING A JOB IN LONDON?
SHH! MARC, PLEASE.
PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING. DANIEL DOESN'T KNOW YET.
JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO TELL HIM FIRST. (muffled voice) OF COURSE. OF COURSE.
(normal voice) I TOTALLY GET IT. I'M NOT GOING TO TELL ANYONE.
(muffled) WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! MARC! OOPS.
(normal voice) YOU DID NOT. (whispers) I TOTALLY DID.
(ding)
(Rossini's "Overture" from "The Barber of Seville" playing)
SAY HI TO THE BECKHAMS.
♪♪♪
HEY, BETTY, HAVE FUN IN LONDON.
(computer alerts chiming) (Betty) OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. NO. OH, GOD, NO!
NO, DON'T SEND THAT!
THAT'S NOT YOURS TO SEND!
(alerts continue chiming) STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!
OH, GOD.
STOP! DON'T TAKE ANY CALLS!
GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES ALONE WITH HIM!
DANIEL!
BETTY.
I HAVE SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU, AND IT'S BIG.
BIGGER THAN YOU TAKING A JOB IN LONDON?
♪♪♪
I'M SO SORRY YOU FOUND OUT BEFORE I COULD TELL YOU.
DANIEL, I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THESE LAST FOUR YEARS.
IT HAS BEEN A PLEASURE WORKING WITH YOU.
ACTUALLY, AN HONOR, AND-- DID YOU REHEARSE THIS?
A LITTLE. DANIEL...
WE'RE ALWAYS GONNA BE FRIENDS, AND I--
BETTY, IT'S FINE.
IT IS?
YEAH. (typing)
(beep)
OKAY.
GREAT.
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?
UM, YEAH. I...
I NEED YOU TO...
SIGN THIS FORM RELEASING ME FROM MY CONTRACT.
THEY NEED IT TOMORROW.
YEP. NO PROBLEMO.
OKAY.
(snaps latches on case) GREAT.
(Connor) WHEN I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED, I HAD TO COME.
CONNOR, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HOW DID YOU-- GET OUT OF JAIL?
I TALKED A GUARD INTO LETTING ME OUT FOR A FEW HOURS.
HE'S JUST OUTSIDE.
BUT I THOUGHT YOU'D BEEN TRANSFERRED.
THAT'S WHAT I NEEDED YOU TO BELIEVE
SO THAT YOU COULD MOVE ON.
BUT, WILLIE...
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
(sighs)
(chuckles)
(monitor beeping rapidly) MM.
MM.
OKAY, LET'S CALM DOWN... (beeping normalizes)
(sighs) BEFORE WE PUT YOU BACK IN THAT COMA.
OH! IT WOULD BE WORTH IT.
I SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE FIGHTING FOR A MAGAZINE
WHEN I SHOULD'VE BEEN FIGHTING FOR YOU.
IT'S ALL GONNA BE DIFFERENT NOW.
(sighs)
WILHELMINA SLATER IS A COMPLETELY CHANGED WOMAN.
WELL, I HOPE NOT COMPLETELY CHANGED.
THERE WERE SOME PARTS OF YOU I RATHER LIKED.
(chuckles)
(monitor beeping rapidly)
HI, DANIEL.
JUST A LITTLE REMINDER THAT I NEED TO GET THAT PAPER SIGNED.
NO BIGGIE. WHEN YOU CAN... BY TOMORROW.
EARLIER IS BETTER, BUT NOTHING THAT INCONVENIENCES YOU.
(call waiting beeps)
(beep) HI, PAPI.
DID YOU KNOW THAT LONDON IS THE DIRTIEST CITY IN EUROPE?
WHAT? I'M READING THIS ONLINE--
THE DIRTIEST CITY, AND THE MOST EXPENSIVE,
WITH THE WORST FOOD, AND THEY SAY THE PEOPLE THERE
ARE THE MOST UNFRIENDLY IN THE WORLD. YOU KNOW, I WAS THERE. IT DIDN'T SEEM SO BAD.
THIS IS ON THE INTERNET, BETTY. WANT ME TO SEND IT TO YOU?
(screaming)
AAH! Mija, what's wrong?
I'LL CALL YOU BACK. AMANDA! ARE YOU OKAY?
HOW COULD YOU PUT YOUR DEAD DOG IN MY REFRIGERATOR?
THAT DEAD DOG HAS A NAME.
HALSTON.
AND HE'S SIMPLY BEING CRYO-GENITALLY PRESERVED
UNTIL I CAN GIVE HIM A PROPER FAREWELL. IN MY FRIDGE?!
(closes freezer door) WE ARE A FOOD-FREE HOUSEHOLD.
AND YOU NEED TO LOSE A LITTLE WEIGHT,
SO IT'S REALLY A WIN-WIN. GET HIM OUT, PLEASE.
I'M GOING FOR A WALK.
HEY, BETTY?
WHAT?
I HEARD YOU'RE MOVING TO LONDON.
AND I JUST... WANT TO SAY THAT I'M REALLY GONNA MISS YOU.
(exhales deeply)
THANK YOU, AMANDA. THAT IS VERY SWEET.
SO REALLY,
I CAN'T JUST KEEP HALSTON IN YOUR FRIDGE FOR A LITTLE BIT? NO.
(woman speaking indistinctly over p.a.)
CLAIRE.
BEFORE THIS HAPPENED, YOU WOULD'VE BEEN
THE LAST PERSON IN THE WORLD I'D WANT TO SEE.
WELL, I'M JUST HAPPY TO SEE THAT YOU'RE AWAKE.
THAT'S NICE. IT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU TO VISIT.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
WE'RE SAYING
THAT TYLER HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR SHOOTING.
YOU NEED TO CORROBORATE OUR STORY.
I DO?
YOU MADE HIM DRINK. YOU SUPPLIED HIM WITH A GUN.
THIS IS YOUR DOING, WILHELMINA, AND YOU NEED TO FIX THIS.
THIS... IS WHAT WE CAN OFFER YOU.
IT'S FUNNY, I WOULD'VE BEEN HAPPY WITH FLOWERS,
OR PERHAPS A HANDWRITTEN NOTE SAYING,
"THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE."
OH, PLEASE. I KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.
AND YOU'RE GOING TO MILK THIS
UNTIL YOU CAN GET YOUR MANICURED CLAWS
INTO OUR COMPANY,
BECAUSE WILHELMINA ONLY DOES THINGS THAT HELP WILHELMINA.
WELL, I GUESS YOU KNOW ME BETTER THAN I KNOW MYSELF.
NOW FLAP THOSE BAT WINGS OF YOURS AND GET OUT.
(lighter clicks)
(flames crackle)
(blows air)
(gasping)
(loud thud) OW!
(grunting)
LOOK, I'M SORRY.
BUT IN MY DEFENSE, IT LOOKED A LOT COOLER IN MY HEAD.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I THOUGHT YOU WERE OKAY WITH IT.
YOU SAID, "NO PROBLEMO."
WELL, IT IS A PROBLEMO. I'M ANGRY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D MAKE A DECISION THAT BIG
WITHOUT TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT AT ALL.
I'M SORRY.
LOOK, I DON'T WANT US TO END ON BAD TERMS.
I DON'T EITHER. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL
ABOUT RELEASING YOU FROM YOUR CONTRACT.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
WE'VE INVESTED A LOT IN YOU, BETTY.
IF IT WAS ANYONE ELSE, I'D SAY NO.
I NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS.
OKAY. WELL...
THEY NEED THE FORM RIGHT AWAY OR I'LL LOSE THE JOB.
I SAID I WOULD THINK ABOUT IT.
ALL RIGHT. WELL, THEN I GUESS WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER.
I MEAN, CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE OF THAT CLAIRE?
WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO HER?
SEVERAL THINGS COME TO MIND. LIKE, OH, I DON'T KNOW...
STEALING SPERM FROM HER HUSBAND'S CORPSE?
WELL, THE CRAZIEST THING IS,
BEFORE OLD CHICKEN NECK SHOWED UP,
I WAS JUST SO HAPPY TO BE ALIVE,
I WAS JUST WILLING TO LET THE WHOLE THING GO.
THAT'S NOT CRAZY. THAT'S WONDERFUL! IT WAS A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS.
IF THOSE IDIOTS WANT ME TO SAVE TYLER,
THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO HAND OVER THE WHOLE DAMN COMPANY.
OH, WILLIE, DON'T SAY THAT. THAT'S WRONG.
OH, YOU'RE ONE TO BE JUDGING ME, MARC.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,
WHENEVER I NEEDED SOMETHING THAT WAS MORALLY QUESTIONABLE,
YOU WERE RIGHT THERE WITH ME. (closes suitcase)
YOU'RE RIGHT. I WAS WILLING TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU.
YOU WERE LIKE MY MOTHER,
MY GODDESS, MY DIVA.
Y-YOU KNOW, YOU WERE--YOU WERE MY LIFE.
I THOUGHT THAT IF YOU HAD EVERYTHING YOU WANTED,
YOU'D BE HAPPY, BUT...
YOU'LL NEVER BE HAPPY.
THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING MORE.
THANK YOU.
OH, HI, BETTY. OH, HI, MRS. MEADE.
YOU SOUND LIKE I FEEL, WHICH ISN'T GREAT.
WHAT'S GOING ON? I DON'T WANNA BORE YOU WITH MY PROBLEMS.
OH, BETTY, PLEASE.
THE LAST TWO WEEKS HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT GUNSHOTS AND COMAS.
I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR PROBLEMS.
WELL, ACTUALLY, UM, IT'S SORT OF ABOUT...
(lowered voice) DANIEL.
OH! THERE YOU ARE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU KNOW I STEAL WHEN I GET UPSET.
SPENCER SCREAMED AT ME 'CAUSE HE ENDED UP
IN ONE OF THOSE "WHO WORE IT BETTER"? COLUMNS.
AND ONLY 82% OF PEOPLE SAID ELLEN DeGENERES
WORE THE SUIT BETTER THAN HE DID. (gasps) NO.
I HATE HIM. HE'S DEAD TO ME. I NEVER WANNA TALK TO HIM AGAIN. HE'S YOUR FATHER.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY, DEAR?
YEAH. IT'S JUST BETTY.
SH-SHE WANTS TO LEAVE, AND-- I HEARD.
I TAWT I TAW THE TWEETY BIRD TATTOO
WHEN HE LIFTED UP HIS SHIRT
AND A LITTLE BIT OF CRACKAGE POPPED OUT.
I DIDN'T WANNA SAY ANYTHING TO YOU BECAUSE, WELL,
I WASN'T SURE, BUT THEN HALSTON DIED, AND YOU WERE SO SAD. OH, MY GOD.
MARC, WHAT AM I GONNA DO? SHOULD I TELL HIM?
BUT THEN WHAT IF I TELL HIM, AND HE REJECTS ME?
WHAT IF--WHAT IF HE'S NOT MY FATHER,
AND I HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THIS ALL OVER AGAIN?
WHAT IF YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS ALL OVER AGAIN? OOH.
HEY, AMANDA. WOW, I SEE YOU MORE NOW
THAN WHEN YOU ACTUALLY WORKED HERE. (voice breaking) NOT FUNNY, SUAREZ!
THAT'S NOT FUNNY AT ALL! THAT'S TERRIBLE TIMING! (scoffs)
SORRY. I'M NOT DOING WELL WITH ANYONE AROUND HERE TODAY.
OKAY, SERIOUSLY, WHATEVER DRAMA YOU GOT GOING ON TODAY...
I'VE BEEN SUCKED INTO ENOUGH. I DON'T NEED IT!
(clears throat)
SO WHAT'S UP?
WELL, LOOK, BEFORE I GO TO LONDON,
I HAVE TO GET RELEASED FROM MY CONTRACT-- UGH! GOD!
BETTY. HONESTLY!
GO ON.
OKAY, ARE WE TALKING OR NOT? MM-HMM.
JUST THE OTHER NIGHT, WE WERE HERE TALKING AND WORKING.
I MEAN, SHE'S WRITING MY BIO.
I WOULDN'T TRUST ANYONE ELSE TO DO THAT.
ARE YOU SURE THIS ISN'T ABOUT
MORE THAN JUST BETTY'S EDITING SKILLS?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER.
WHAT?
HE'S A BULLY! AND HE'S MANIPULATIVE!
AND HE AS A WEAK CHIN. YEAH!
YEAH! YEAH, UM... WHAT? NO! NO, HE DOESN'T.
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? HE'S-- WELL, KEEP--KEEP--KEEP-- KEEP RANTING, THOUGH.
COME ON, MOM, THAT'S CRAZY! PERHAPS.
OR COULD IT EXPLAIN YOUR BEHAVIOR?
WHAT? NO! NO WAY.
DANIEL, DARLING, YOU WERE SO UPSET
AT THE POSSIBILITY OF HER LEAVING,
YOU NEARLY BURNED DOWN YOUR OFFICE.
IF YOU ARE HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME WITH HER LEAVING,
YOU NEED TO GIVE HER A REASON TO STAY.
WELL, I THINK YOU NEED TO GO AND GIVE HIM
A PIECE OF YOUR MIND.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I WILL. THANKS! YEAH. GOOD! YOU'RE WELCOME.
DANIEL, I--
ME FIRST. BETTY, I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
(Hilda) SO WHAT EXACTLY DID DANIEL SAY?
HE OFFERED ME A PROMOTION-- FULL-FLEDGED EDITOR--
AND A REALLY NICE BUMP IN SALARY.
THAT'S MAJOR, A.B. I KNOW. WHAT DO I DO?
SEEMS PRETTY CLEAR TO ME. YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT.
PAPI, COME ON. THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS TO CONSIDER.
HEY, WE--WE GOT GREAT NEWS, TOO.
WHAT? NOTHING. NOTHING.
(chuckles) NO, IT'S NOT NOTHING. IT'S SOMETHING. (mouths word)
COME ON. WHAT IS IT? WE'RE GONNA GET A PLACE IN THE CITY!
(Justin) YAY! (Bobby laughs)
I THINK THAT'S GREAT.
GREAT NEWS. I-I'M GONNA GO WASH DISHES.
WHY DID YOU SAY ANYTHING?!
WE DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE TAKING IT YET! UM, BETTY MIGHT STAY.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD TIME TO TEST THE WATERS. HILDA, IT'S OKAY.
NO, IT'S NOT OKAY!
AND YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT IS OKAY AND WHAT ISN'T OKAY! OKAY?
OKAY.
AY. I'M SORRY.
I AM SORRY. IT'S NOT YOU, OKAY?
I JUST... (inhales deeply)
(sighs) AY. LOOK, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
YOU'RE LIVING YOUR DREAM, AND I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.
I JUST FEEL LIKE I FINALLY HAVE A CHANCE AT LIVING MY DREAM...
THE HAPPY FAMILY LIFE THAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED...
(voice breaks) AND I CAN'T DO IT.
I MEAN, HOW IS PAPI GONNA FEEL
IF WE BOTH LEAVE HIM ALONE?
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW HOW PAPI IS GONNA FEEL.
BUT IF YOU WANT THAT PLACE, GET IT.
YEAH.
HILDA, YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.
(sniffles)
(alarm blaring) ROUGE ALERT! ROUGE ALERT!
OUR SOURCES HAVE JUST CONFIRMED
THAT WILHELMINA SLATER IS EN ROUTE TO "MODE,"
WHERE SHE WILL BE PUBLICLY SPEAKING
ABOUT HER SHOOTING FOR THE FIRST TIME.
WHO SHOT THE DIABOLICAL DIVA?
AND WHAT GORGEOUS PIECE OF COUTURE
DID THEY BLAST A HOLE THROUGH? STICK WITH ME,
BECAUSE WILHELMINA ALWAYS TELLS SUZUKI FIRST.
WILLIE! WILLIE, SUZUKS HERE!
OUT OF MY WAY, CLOWN.
CUT!
THANK YOU, ALL, FOR MEETING ME HERE.
I HAVE A BRIEF STATEMENT,
AND THEN I'D LIKE TO GET BACK TO MY OFFICE.
AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, WORK REALLY PILES UP
WHEN YOU'RE IN A COMA.
THERE'S BEEN SOME SPECULATION AS TO WHAT HAPPENED
THE NIGHT I WAS SHOT. AND I...
AND...
I'D LIKE TO PUT THE RUMORS TO REST,
LET THE TRUTH SPEAK FOR ITSELF.
IT WAS NOT CLAIRE MEADE WHO SHOT ME,
ALTHOUGH IT'S OBVIOUS WHY PEOPLE WOULD THINK SO.
IT WAS... (sighs)
IT WAS ME.
(man gasps)
I WAS CLEANING MY GUN, AND I SHOT MYSELF BY ACCIDENT.
(mouths word)
SO... SORRY TO DISAPPOINT,
BUT THERE WAS NO DRAMA THAT NIGHT. JUST...
A FOOLISH MISTAKE.
(reporters all shouting at once)
(man shouts indistinctly) (camera shutter clicks)
WELL, THANK YOU FOR AN INFORMATIVE DAY.
(under breath) THAT WAS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS,
BUT... THANK YOU.
DON'T THANK ME. I DIDN'T DO IT FOR YOU. RIGHT.
FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING SO, BUT WHY DO I FEEL LIKE
I'M GOING TO PAY FOR THIS ONE DAY? BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
SO GO AHEAD AND UNCLENCH EVERYTHING. WE'RE GOOD.
WELL, AS GOOD AS YOU AND I CAN BE.
REALLY?
YES, REALLY, CLAIRE.
CHAMOMILE?
THANK YOU.
JUSTIN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
IF I GO TO LONDON, AM I BEING SELFISH?
I FEEL LIKE I'M LETTING EVERYONE DOWN--
PAPI, DANIEL, HILDA.
NOT TO MENTION, IT'S SUCH A RISK-- AUNT BETTY...
YOU'RE ALL ABOUT RISK.
YOU TOOK A JOB AT "MODE" MAGAZINE.
YOU SHOWED UP TO YOUR FIRST DAY OF WORK
IN A PONCHO THAT REEKED OF DISASTER.
(laughs) (laughs)
BUT...
YOU BECAME A STAR.
AND IT'S NOT SELFISH.
IT HELPS, KIND OF, TO--TO SEE YOU BE SO BRAVE.
YOU KNOW, IT--
IT SORT OF RAISES THE BAR FOR THE REST OF US.
NOT TO MENTION,
I GET TO VISIT MY COOL AUNT IN LONDON.
HOW DID YOU GET SO SMART?
I HAD A FEW GOOD TEACHERS.
HEY.
YOU'RE LEAVING, AREN'T YOU?
UH, DO YOU HAVE, UM,
ANOTHER COPY OF THAT...
PAPER YOU WANT ME TO SIGN?
(paper rustles)
ARE WE GOOD?
WE'RE GOOD.
DANIEL-- (voice breaks) I'M SUPPOSED TO BE AT A MEETING,
UH, RIGHT NOW.
SO WHY DON'T WE, UM...
TALK LATER?
(sniffles)
(woman) ♪ ALL YOU BOYS AND GIRLS... ♪
BETTY, THIS IS SUCH A GREAT PARTY.
AND THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR MAKING IT A FAREWELL TO HALSTON. YEAH.
THAT WAS A SURPRISE.
(sighs) IT'S JUST SO PERFECT... (woman) GOOD LUCK, BETTY. BYE.
(mouths words)
FINALLY REALIZING WHERE HE BELONGS--"MODE."
AW.
♪ ALL YOU BOYS AND GIRLS ♪
(blows air)
MM.
♪ LET ME ROCK YOUR WORLD
OH, MRS. MEADE.
I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.
OH, BETTY. I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED IT FOR THE WORLD.
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
THANK YOU.
DO YOU THINK DANIEL'S COMING?
I DON'T KNOW.
(sighs) HE'S BEEN AVOIDING ME FOR DAYS.
I THINK HE HATES ME NOW.
HE DOESN'T.
LOSING YOU IS VERY HARD FOR HIM, BETTY.
I DON'T EVEN THINK HE KNOWS QUITE WHY YET.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I HAVE A THEORY.
WHAT?
♪♪♪
REALLY? NO. NO. NO.
(man) ♪ KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANNA DO ♪
♪♪♪
♪ I'M-A ROCK YOU... ♪
HEY. HEY.
THIS IS FUN. I'M REALLY GLAD I GOT TO COME.
WELL, YOU WERE AN INTERN HERE. YOU'RE A "MODIE," TOO.
(man singing indistinctly)
WHY DON'T YOU GO DANCE WITH HIM?
OH. COME ON. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
HE'S GOT A BOYFRIEND. THAT GUY?
MNH-MNH. REEKS OF REBOUND.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA WORK OUT.
OH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
YOU'RE RECENTLY HATCHED FROM THE GAY EGG.
YOU STILL HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS.
SO DO YOU.
♪ WHEN YOU FALL AWAY, GIRL ♪
♪ JUST WHEN I THINK THAT I'M GONE ♪
♪ THEN YOU LEAVE ME ALL ALONE ♪
♪ AND I'M FEELING SO BLUE, OH ♪
♪ YOUR EASY LOVING AIN'T PLEASING NOTHING, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪♪♪
♪ I NEED THAT TENDER LOVING ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪♪♪
LOOK OUT, SKINNY BITCHES!
I DON'T CARE WHO SITS HERE.
THIS BIG ORANGE DOUGHNUT WILL ALWAYS BE MINE!
AND HALSTON'S.
♪♪♪
(gasps)
OH, HI.
YOU MADE IT.
OF COURSE.
I COULDN'T MISS THAT POOCH'S FAREWELL.
I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU KNEW BETTY.
I WAS TALKING ABOUT HALSTON.
OH. (laughs)
RIGHT. (sneezes)
(voice mail beeps)
UH, DANIEL. THIS IS BETTY.
UM... IT'S MY GOING AWAY PARTY...
(voice breaking) AND YOU'RE NOT HERE.
UH, I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU'RE GONNA COME.
I REALLY HOPE THAT I GET TO SEE YOU BEFORE I LEAVE.
OKAY. BYE. (beep)
YOU KNOW, YOU DO WORK FOR TWO EDITORS-IN-CHIEF.
(exhales) I HAVE TO FIND OUT YOU'RE LEAVING
THROUGH A MASS E-MAIL?
YOU NEVER ASKED MY PERMISSION.
♪♪♪
PERMISSION GRANTED.
THANK YOU. IT'S INTERESTING.
YOU SPENT FOUR YEARS OF YOUR LIFE
WORKING YOUR WAY UP THE LADDER HERE,
AND NOW YOU'RE THROWING IT ALL AWAY.
UM... YEAH, I--
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS, BUT...
YOU'VE GOT BIG BALLS, BETTY SUAREZ.
♪♪♪
THAT'S THE NICEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO ME.
♪♪♪
I DON'T KNOW WHY I GOT SO COMPETITIVE WITH ELLEN.
SHE WORE THE HELL OUT OF THAT SUIT.
SPENCER, I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU,
AND I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT HOW YOU'RE GONNA REACT.
I KNOW YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER.
WHAT? HOW?
I RECENTLY FOUND OUT FROM A FRIEND
THAT FEY GOT PREGNANT
SHORTLY AFTER I... WAS WITH HER.
IT WAS THE '80s, STUDIO 54.
I GOT SO BLITZED OUT OF MY MIND,
I THOUGHT FEY WAS ANDY WARHOL.
I CONTACTED AN AGENCY TO FIND YOU.
AND THEN I HIRED YOU AS MY STYLIST
SO I COULD GET TO KNOW YOU FIRST.
I WANTED TO MAKE SURE I WASN'T INTRUDING.
♪♪♪
IT'S OKAY.
REALLY?
REALLY. I'VE BEEN WAITING YEARS FOR YOU TO INTRUDE.
♪♪♪
WELL, THEN...
I FORBID YOU TO SEE THAT BOY.
WAIT. WHAT BOY? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DON'T KNOW.
IT JUST SOUNDED LIKE A FATHERLY THING TO SAY. (chuckles) OH. THEN I HATE YOU, DAD!
(man) ♪ THIS IS OUR LAST GOOD-BYE ♪
♪ OUR LAST GOOD-BYE ♪
♪♪♪
(both laugh) (Betty) MARC.
YEAH. GOT YOU!
OH, YES. (chuckles)
I'M GONNA MISS YOU.
I KNOW.
AND YOU'RE GONNA MISS ME.
MM.
♪♪♪
TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING HERE.
♪♪♪
(Amanda) I LOVE THIS SONG!
ME, TOO. ME, THREE!
(man) ♪ TRY TO GET IT RIGHT ♪
♪ ...SINGING IN THE STREETS ♪
♪ AND THE SLOW PARADE OF THE WHOLE THING COMING DOWN ♪
♪♪♪
♪ I KNEW ATTENTION ♪
♪♪♪
ARE YOU GOING TO TALK TO HER?
♪♪♪
I THINK I NEED TO LET HER GO.
♪♪♪
(scoffs)
WHAT?
GO TO THE MARKED TABS.
THOSE'LL BE YOUR PAGES TO FILL.
YOU'RE NOW SOLE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF "MODE."
I'M STEPPING DOWN. IT'S TIME.
I GOT THIS JOB BECAUSE IT WAS HANDED TO ME,
BUT... YOU'VE EARNED IT.
WELL...
THIS IS QUITE A SURPRISE.
HOW DOES... CLAIRE FEEL ABOUT IT?
OH, SHE'S GIVEN IT HER BLESSING.
CONGRATULATIONS, WILHELMINA.
AND, UH, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I'M GONNA START OVER.
(Ignacio) OKAY, EVERYBODY. GATHER ROUND.
I'D LIKE TO MAKE A TOAST.
THIS IS GONNA BE HIS LAST ATTEMPT TO MAKE YOU STAY.
I JUST WANT TO SAY...
I KNOW I CAN'T STOP MY DAUGHTERS FROM LEAVING.
BUT I CAN GIVE THEM A LITTLE ADVICE.
BETTY...
YOU'RE MOVING ACROSS AN OCEAN.
WHERE YOU'LL HAVE NO FAMILY,
NO FRIENDS, YOU WON'T KNOW THE CITY.
PAPI.
I KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE, MIJA.
WHEN YOUR MOMMY AND I LEFT MéJICO AND CAME HERE...
OH, WE WERE SO AFRAID.
(man singing in Spanish)
BUT IT WAS THE BEST DECISION WE MADE IN OUR LIVES.
SOMETHING TELLS ME... YOU'LL LOOK BACK
AND THINK THE SAME ABOUT THIS MOVE.
♪♪♪
THANK YOU, PAPI.
NEXT.
NO, STOP. NO ADVICE. I-I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING.
WAIT. NO, PAPI, ME FIRST.
MY ADVICE IS THAT YOU'RE VERY STUBBORN
AND YOU DON'T LISTEN. HA!
(both chuckle) (whispers) TELL HIM.
WE'RE MOVING TO MANHATTAN.
AND THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM.
YEAH, WE WANT YOU TO COME AND LIVE WITH US.
YEAH.
THAT'S VERY SWEET.
AND I APPRECIATE IT.
BUT I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
WE'RE NOT GONNA LET YOU LIVE HERE ALONE.
I WANT TO LIVE HERE ALONE.
DON'T YOU THINK I'M A LITTLE TIRED
OF SHARING ONE BATHROOM WITH THE THREE OF YOU?
BELIEVE ME, MY BLADDER ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE. OH, COME ON.
(laughs) I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA HAVE AN ELEGANT LUNCH, BUT...
(laughs) OH, I WANT MY DAUGHTERS AND MY GRANDSON
TO LIVE THEIR LIVES THE WAY THEY WANT.
A NOSOTROS.
(all) A NOSOTROS.
♪♪♪
I HEARD CONGRATULATIONS WERE IN ORDER,
AND I WANTED TO BE ONE OF THE FIRST.
THANK YOU, YOU ARE THE FIRST, INDEED.
YOU CAN PUT THE FLOWERS ANYWHERE.
YOU... ALWAYS SEEM TO KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT.
(clears throat)
OKAY. WELL...
UH, NOT SO FAST.
NOW THAT "MODE" IS MINE,
UH, I'M GOING TO BE DOING SOME HOUSECLEANING...
GETTING RID OF SOME OF THE FAT.
BUT BETTY ALREADY LEFT.
(laughs)
(laughs) OH.
YOU KNOW, I REALLY AM GONNA MISS HER.
(mouths word)
ANYWAY, UH, I MIGHT NEED TO LEAN ON YOU A LITTLE MORE...
CREATIVELY...
IF YOU FEEL YOU'RE UP TO IT.
YES. SURE.
UM...
I'M HAPPY TO BE LEANED ON CREATIVELY.
GOOD.
BUT NO MORE SCHEMES, RIGHT?
WELL, UH...
THERE IS JUST ONE.
(metal clanks)
I, UH...
PULLED SOME STRINGS WITH THE SENATOR
AND GOT YOU A NEW CELL MATE-- A FAIRLY HIGH-PROFILE TYPE.
AND WHY DOES THIS HIGH-PROFILE PRISONER
PUT SUCH A TWINKLE IN YOUR EYE?
WELL, THE FEDS ARE HOPING
TO EXTRACT A CONFESSION OUT OF HIM.
AND SOMEONE WHO COULD SWEET-TALK A GUARD
INTO LETTING HIM OUT OF PRISON TO VISIT HIS GIRLFRIEND
MIGHT GET HIM TO TALK.
AND IF SO,
THAT PERSON COULD SUDDENLY FIND HIS SENTENCE...
DRASTICALLY REDUCED.
WELL...
I THINK THIS GUY IS GOING TO FIND ME
VERY HARD TO RESIST.
I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.
OKAY.
FIRST... WHAT ARE YOU--
WE HAVE A SURPRISE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU CANNOT GO TO EUROPE IN THOSE. SO... (groans)
OOH.
(sighs)
(Hilda) NICE. OKAY, CAN I TAKE MINE, TOO?
NO. COME O--
MNH-MNH. (engine turns over)
OKAY.
SO...
(voice breaking) GOOD-BYE.
BYE.
YOU'RE GONNA COME VISIT ME SOON, RIGHT?
(crying) YEAH. SUMMER CAN'T COME SOON ENOUGH.
(correatown's "All the World I Tell Myself" playing)
(voice breaking) I LOVE YOU.
BE SAFE.
(Bobby) MM.
YOU GO BE GREAT, CHIPMUNK. ALL RIGHT? (laughs) OKAY.
(sighs) BE GOOD, AUSTIN.
♪ ...UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ SAY I LET GO ♪
♪ SAY IT'S OBVIOUS ♪
♪ OH, I TELL MYSELF ♪
TE QUIERO, MIJA.
(cries) I LOVE YOU, PAPI.
♪ ...OVER AGAIN ♪
OKAY, OKAY. OKAY.
UM, I WILL CALL YOU AS SOON AS I LAND.
IT MIGHT BE VERY EARLY, SO JUST WAIT TILL YOU WAKE UP
AND CALL ME BACK, OKAY? WE WILL.
♪ I'M READY ♪
♪ TO BELIEVE ♪
♪ DA DA DA ♪
♪ DUH-DA DA DA ♪
♪ DA DA DA DA ♪
♪ DA ♪
♪ AND ALL THE WORLD CAN WATCH ♪
♪ THE CHOICES YOU MAKE ♪
♪ ALL THE WORLD ♪
♪ ALL THE WORLD CAN WATCH ♪
(clattering)
(Generation X's "Ready Steady Go" playing)
♪ READY STEADY GO ♪
♪ READY STEADY GO! ♪
♪ I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH TELEVISION ♪
♪ I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH THE RADIO ♪
HEY!
♪ I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH THE KINGS ROAD ♪
♪ WHOA-OH-OH ♪
♪ BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH CATHY McGOW-OW-OW-OW-OW ♪
♪ SHE SAID "READY STEADY GO" ♪
♪ WELL, ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID ♪
♪ BUT "READY STEADY GO" ♪
♪ WELL, WASN'T IT FABULOUS? ♪
♪ READY ♪ ♪ READY ♪
♪ STEADY ♪ ♪ STEADY ♪
♪ GO! ♪
♪ I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH "JUKE BOX JURY" ♪
BETTY.
OH! SORRY.
DANIEL.
SO... WAS THAT HARD FOR YOU?
NOT REALLY.
WELL... I JUST--
I REALIZED I'VE HAD EVERYTHING HANDED TO ME.
I'VE--I'VE NEVER REALLY GOTTEN ANYTHING ON MY OWN,
LIKE--LIKE YOU.
WELL... I KNOW THERE'S A LOT YOU CAN DO, DANIEL.
THANK YOU.
AND I ALSO REALIZED...
I DIDN'T SAY GOOD-BYE,
WHICH IS, UH, REALLY NOT COOL.
SO...
GOOD-BYE...
AND GOOD LUCK...
(chuckles) AND...
HAVE A SAFE FLIGHT. THANK YOU.
I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I GET THERE. (laughs)
SO...
SO THAT'S IT? YOU'RE, UH, HEADED BACK TO NEW YORK?
NO. I THINK I'M GONNA...
STAY AROUND HERE FOR A WHILE,
SEE WHAT I CAN FIND.
MAYBE TAKE YOU TO DINNER...
TONIGHT, IF YOU'RE FREE.
♪♪♪
I WOULD LOVE THAT.
(Macy Gray's "Beauty in the World" playing)
(bell tolling) WELL, I BETTER GET BACK TO WORK.
♪♪♪
I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
♪ I... ♪
I'LL, UM, CALL YOU LATER.
OKAY. OKAY.
HEY, IF YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DO,
I AM LOOKING FOR A NEW ASSISTANT.
WELL, MAYBE I'LL SUBMIT MY RéSUMé.
(laughs)
♪ WHAT'S BEEN MESSED UP FOR US ♪
♪ WITH ME? ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THERE IS BEAUTY IN THE WORLD ♪
♪ SO MUCH BEAUTY IN THE WORLD ♪
♪ ALWAYS BEAUTY IN THE WORLD ♪
♪ SO MUCH BEAUTY IN THE WORLD ♪
♪ SO SHAKE YOUR BOOTY, BOYS AND GIRLS ♪
♪ FOR THE BEAUTY IN THE WORLD ♪
♪ PICK YOUR DIAMOND, PICK YOUR PEARL ♪
♪ THERE IS BEAUTY IN THE WORLD ♪
♪ ALL TOGETHER NOW ♪
♪ YEAH, LOVE ♪ ♪ YEAH, LOVE ♪
♪ OH, LOVE ♪