1
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,197
MAN: Can I get you
to sign right here, please?

2
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,116
WOMAN: Okay. Here you go.

3
00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,326
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.

4
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,789
(FOOTSTEPS PATTERING)

5
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:41,457
WOMAN: Hi, Will. Package for you.

6
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,460
(PEN CLICKING)

7
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,516
WILLIAM: I don't think anyone ever imagines
on their wedding day

8
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:02,103
be part of the 46%
that doesn't live happily ever after.

9
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:05,148
WOMAN: Will?

10
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,025
Just heard we got the Quaker Oats account.

11
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,945
Way to go.
You must be completely psyched.

12
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,780
WILLIAM: Then again,

13
00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,407
I never thought I'd spend my days,

14
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,868
weeks and years working
in an advertising agency

15
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:21,831
trying to figure out how to get kids to eat
Cap'n Crunch instead of Froot Loops.

16
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:25,668
But Tuesdays and Fridays
are my favorite days.

17
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:30,006
I get out of work early, and I go pick up
my daughter, Maya, from school.

18
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:33,426
Now, it's a great feeling when you find
the right track to go with the day.

19
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:37,263
And today, I have found
the absolute perfect song.

20
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,514
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

21
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,558
Bitches, they can kiss my...

22
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:43,352
WILLIAM: The other perfect song.

23
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,521
(EVERYDAY PEOPLE PLAYING)

24
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:27,897
(CAR HORN BLARING)

25
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,568
(MOUTHING WORDS)
Thank you.

26
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,112
You're welcome.

27
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:01,949
WILLIAM: But sometimes, no matter
how carefully you plan your playlist,

28
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:05,494
there is no right track for what awaits you.

29
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,956
(ALL CLAMORING)

30
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,795
-Come on, come on!
-Hey, what's going on?

31
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,340
Will, did you know there was gonna be
a sex ed class today?

32
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:18,507
Aren't they kind of young?

33
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:21,677
-Yeah! It was a total disaster.
-At least it got them reading.

34
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:22,970
There's a book!

35
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:26,390
"The 250 million sperm are ejaculated

36
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:30,186
"and begin their treacherous journey
towards the fallopian tubes!

37
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,854
"One hundred million are wiped
out instantly..."

38
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,397
I'm gonna find Maya.

39
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,899
GlRL: Do you still have sex with Daddy?

40
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,192
-What are you talking about?
-Do you?

41
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:37,902
-You know, we will go home and talk...
-You do, don't you?

42
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:40,237
-We will go home and talk about this.
-GlRL: I hate you, I hate you!

43
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:41,989
(CLAMORING CONTINUES)

44
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:46,535
WOMAN: Stop pulling on me! I am trying
to get to the bottom of something!

45
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,162
We need to talk.

46
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:52,124
Which is when the man
removes his penis from his pajamas

47
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,459
and thrusts it into a woman's vagina...

48
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:57,171
Okay, but Mrs. Gallagher
didn't actually say "thrust."

49
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,756
-Yeah.
-Oh.

50
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:00,716
But what I don't understand,

51
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,636
Sammy Boigon's sister said
he was an accident.

52
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,682
I mean, how do you accidentally
thrust a penis into... Hi, Luis.

53
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,517
-Hey.
-How do you accidentally...

54
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:13,980
Stop saying "penis" and "thrust."
Just say "tinkle part" or "wee-wee."

55
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,106
Something cute.

56
00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:18,693
-Explain how Sammy was an accident.
-That's complicated.

57
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,780
-Penis! Penis.
-Okay. All right, that's enough.

58
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,615
(SIGHING) Okay, they...

59
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:28,077
It's not like his dad slipped
on a banana peel.

60
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:32,456
The accident was that Sammy's mom
got pregnant.

61
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:37,128
If they didn't want a baby,
then how come they had sex?

62
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,631
That's a very good question.

63
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:44,260
I guess you could say
that they were rehearsing.

64
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,805
-Was I an accident?
-No.

65
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,932
-I was, wasn't I?
-No.

66
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:54,979
You were completely and totally on purpose.
I knew exactly what I was getting into.

67
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:56,772
(SIGHS)

68
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:01,027
I think you should tell me
the story of you and my mom.

69
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:04,780
Why do you keep saying "my mom"
like I've never met her?

70
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:09,160
Well, because now that
you're getting divorced,

71
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,329
she's mine, not yours.

72
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:14,498
-Is that so?
-Tell me how it happened.

73
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:19,670
And the real story, not the,
"Oh, we met, we fell in love,

74
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,339
"and we decided to take all that love

75
00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:25,843
"and make a family,
and that's how we made you."

76
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,095
You know something?
I'm gonna tell you the real, true story

77
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,346
of how me and your mother met.

78
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,015
-When I'm old enough.
-Yep.

79
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:34,393
-Look. I know love isn't a fairytale.
-Really?

80
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:35,853
Really.

81
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,106
Did you have another girlfriend
before you met her?

82
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,232
(CHUCKLES)

83
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,734
Come on, tell me the truth.

84
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:42,860
(SIGHS)

85
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,196
I had two serious girlfriends.

86
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:48,741
And then some other,
a smattering of other women that I dated.

87
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,159
You know.

88
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:51,827
What?

89
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,205
What's the boy word for slut?

90
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:58,042
They still haven't come up with one yet,
but I'm sure they're working on it.

91
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,543
You a vegetarian this week or not?

92
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,045
-Yeah, I am.
-Great.

93
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,547
MAYA: I'm guessing
you weren't her first boyfriend.

94
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,967
Maybe it was some nerdy guy,
or maybe he was mean.

95
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:09,512
Or maybe

96
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:10,721
(FAUCET RUNNING)

97
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,015
you were friends for the longest time,

98
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,393
and then just when you were
about to put your penis

99
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,520
into somebody else’s vagina...

100
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:18,687
WILLIAM: Okay. Good night, Maya.

101
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,189
...you realized Mom
was the only one for you!

102
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:21,398
Bedtime!

103
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:24,276
You still have to tell me
the story of why you fell in love with her.

104
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:27,696
I fell in love with her because
she was smart and beautiful and fun.

105
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:30,991
So now she's stupid and ugly and boring?

106
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,369
-Of course not.
-Then what's the problem?

107
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:37,623
-It's complicated, Maya.
-Everything with you is so complicated.

108
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:42,670
I bet that if you just told me the story,
you'd realize that it's not complicated at all.

109
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:45,172
That you just love her.

110
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,384
I know this is tough for you,
but what are you thinking?

111
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:51,137
That I'm gonna tell you this story
and it's gonna make everything better?

112
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,304
It doesn't work that way.

113
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:56,392
Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't.
Tell me and we'll find out.

114
00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:00,646
No. Game over. It's time for bed.

115
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,650
No, it's not time for bed!
It's time for you to tell me the story!

116
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,027
-Maya.
-I need to know!

117
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,865
I need to know.

118
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,702
Fine! Fine!

119
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,120
I'm gonna tell you the story,

120
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,621
-but I'm not telling you who your mom is.
-Fine.

121
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,039
You're just gonna have
to figure it out for yourself.

122
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,457
-Good.
-And I'm changing all the names

123
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,877
and some of the facts,
but I just decided that right now.

124
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:26,213
-And then we'll see how smart you are.
-I like it. It's like a love story/mystery.

125
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,674
-Great. Sounds good. You ready?
-No.

126
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:29,800
No.

127
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,305
-Take your time.
-I will.

128
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,515
-I know you will.
-You go here.

129
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,601
-Princess pillow?
-Thank you.

130
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,394
-You bet.
-Okay.

131
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,152
(SIGHS)

132
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,778
I'm ready.

133
00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:51,655
Once upon a time,

134
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:56,744
before e-mails and cell phones
and reality television shows,

135
00:08:57,621 --> 00:09:02,374
in 1992 to be exact,
in a little town called Madison, Wisconsin,

136
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,044
there lived a young man
named William Hayes.

137
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:08,714
-Hey, Will, man, Happy New Year.
-Hey, yeah, you, too.

138
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:14,011
WILLIAM: Now, this young man was deeply,
deeply in love with his college sweetheart.

139
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:15,304
Let's call her...

140
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,014
-Emily!
-Emily!

141
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,682
Emily!

142
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,185
-Hey.
-Hi.

143
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:24,271
ALL: Ten, nine, eight...

144
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:29,443
Hey, guess who's gonna be the luckiest guy
on planet Earth in about four seconds?

145
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:30,819
You.

146
00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,571
ALL: ...two, one!

147
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:34,573
Happy New Year!

148
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:36,575
WILLIAM: They were a perfect couple.

149
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,620
Except to really understand
how this young man

150
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,830
ended up marrying your mother,
you'll also need to know

151
00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:46,585
that he had a very big,
incredibly embarrassing dream.

152
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,128
All rise

153
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:54,009
for the President
of the United States of America,

154
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,553
William

155
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,305
Matthew

156
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,808
Hayes.

157
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,897
MAYA: (CHUCKLING)
You wanted to be President?

158
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:10,359
I'm just, I don't understand why you have
to work for Clinton in New York.

159
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,319
Why can't you just work for him in Madison?

160
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,446
Well, because they don't need me here.
They need me in New York.

161
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:18,826
They need him, Em. Will's the man.
I can't believe you're letting him go.

162
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,786
I mean, don't you know
about New York girls?

163
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,205
Besides being incredibly hot,
they have no problem with casual sex,

164
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,374
which by the way, I totally respect.

165
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,710
-What if Charlie’s right?
-Charlie’s never right.

166
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:31,755
-He's functionally retarded.
-I am worried New York's gonna change you.

167
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,841
-Change can be good.
-If we change together.

168
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:36,635
So, we'll change together.

169
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,722
Okay? It's two months in New York.
I'll be back before you know it.

170
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,015
Besides, we have a plan, right?

171
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,518
The other thing I can't believe is that
you'd risk Ieaving Emily here with me,

172
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:48,605
'cause I gotta tell you,
I've always had a thing for you...

173
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,734
And I have absolutely no scruples.

174
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:57,781
Wait! I almost forgot.
You have to give this to Summer.

175
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,158
She's the only girl I know in New York.

176
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:00,326
-I want you to meet her.
-Summer Hartley?

177
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,660
-Yes. Yes.
-That's her name?

178
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,454
She was on my exchange program
at Cambridge,

179
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,832
and all the guys wanted to sleep with her,
and you probably will, too.

180
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,083
Maybe you should mail it to her.

181
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:09,293
-That might be a better idea.
-No.

182
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,419
What is it?

183
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:13,797
Something I should have
sent her a long time ago.

184
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,342
I love you, William Hayes.

185
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:17,551
(CAR HORN HONKING)

186
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:21,972
Okay. Go, go, go. Go be your brilliant self.

187
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:25,642
MAYA: Emily sounds like she would
make a good mom.

188
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:28,520
-I just don't know if she's my mom.
-WILLIAM: Why not?

189
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:29,897
MAYA: Everyone knows that the girlfriend

190
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:32,858
in the beginning of the story
always gets dumped.

191
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:36,236
Which means maybe
Summer Hartley is my mother.

192
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:54,755
WILLIAM: I'll never forget that day.

193
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:58,634
There I was, arriving in the city
I always dreamed about

194
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,804
to work on a campaign
that I believed in with all of my heart.

195
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:05,391
And on top of that,
I was positive that in just a few hours,

196
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,435
the campaign manager would realize
how brilliant I was.

197
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:09,978
And then I'd be writing speeches,

198
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:12,189
and then I'd be coming up with strategy,
and before long...

199
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,649
GARETH: Will Hayes?

200
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,401
-Hey. Gareth Henderson.
-You're Gareth.

201
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,112
-Hey, how are you?
-Nice to meet you. We're walking, Hayes.

202
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:22,449
I brought my C.V. and a sample of some
speeches I wrote for Congressman Sweeney.

203
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:26,495
Fantastic. I cannot wait to peruse these
in my abundant spare time.

204
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:29,665
In the meantime, here's a sample
of the coffee and bagel order

205
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,500
I'll need filled immediately.

206
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:32,709
Wait!

207
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,503
You want me to get coffee?

208
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:37,631
At some point in our lives, we all get coffee.
Your time's now. Come on.

209
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:38,757
We're still walking, Hayes.

210
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,510
Have the coffee here by 10:00,
or Arthur's gonna kill me!

211
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:44,513
That means I'm gonna have to kill you.
I've killed before, Hayes.

212
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:47,599
-You should know that.
-What is this?

213
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,268
That is a cellular telephone

214
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:52,646
so I can get a hold of you wherever,
whenever, for whatever.

215
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,732
-Can somebody get me an aspirin, please?
-Watch it!

216
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:58,026
Glad to have you aboard, Hayes!

217
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,365
-Hi.
-What? Hi.

218
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,326
ARTHUR: Four weeks from now,
voters of New York State

219
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:10,080
will select their next Democratic nominee
for President.

220
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,416
Now, if Bill Clinton wins,

221
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:15,878
I want you to all understand
that it's gonna be as a direct result

222
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:19,923
of the commitment and the energy
of every person in this room.

223
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,384
And I mean that. That's just a fact.

224
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,554
Now, that's how important the work is.

225
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,473
That each and every one of you is...

226
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,640
(WILLIAM SCREAMS)

227
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:29,808
(CRASHING)

228
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:33,896
WILLIAM: (SHOUTING)
What am I doing here?

229
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,981
It's the new guy.

230
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,903
-Hey.
-Hey, is that the toilet paper guy?

231
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:48,577
-Can I get a pack of Morley Red, please?
-3.25.

232
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:52,831
3.25? These are $2.15
in Madison, Wisconsin.

233
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:54,333
So go back to Madison.

234
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,919
-Don't forget to write.
-That's right. Don't forget to write.

235
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,338
MAYA: Hold it! Stop. Stop right there!

236
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,089
You smoked?

237
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,591
No. Yeah.

238
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:06,553
But I didn't mean to tell you that.

239
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:12,351
Listen. I was young, and I was stupid,
and I haven't smoked in years.

240
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:13,602
I promise you.

241
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,855
Is there anything else you should tell me?

242
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,358
Probably not.

243
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,783
-Can I get 10 copies?
-Put them on the pile.

244
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,285
No, they're for Arthur.
I need them like, 15 minutes ago.

245
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,538
So if you wouldn’t mind...

246
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,373
You're the toilet paper guy.

247
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:37,960
MAYA: Wait. Who's that?
WILLIAM: That's April.

248
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:41,797
Yes. I am, in fact, the toilet paper guy,

249
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,882
but feel free to call me
the bagel-and-coffee guy.

250
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:48,720
Or Todd in Accounting calls me Crystal,
which I'm pretty sure is a girl’s name.

251
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,890
-How many copies?
-Ten. Please.

252
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:54,268
-These?
-Yeah, both of those.

253
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,563
What made you become
a Bill Clinton supporter?

254
00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,232
I'm not. This is a money gig.
I get paid 12 an hour,

255
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:04,570
which is better than babysitting, which is
what I've been doing way too much of.

256
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,154
You're a Democrat, right?

257
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,575
Why does everyone have to be
a Democrat or a Republican?

258
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:10,909
I'm struggling with the copy machine.

259
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,245
No, hold on.
You're an Independent, aren't you?

260
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,665
I am nothing.
Why am I obligated to be something?

261
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:20,002
Why do I have to have an opinion
about everything anyway?

262
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,087
I mean, really,
what do I know about missile systems

263
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,423
or Social Security, or the tax code?

264
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:27,593
What about civil rights or women's rights?

265
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:30,012
A woman's right to do what she wants
with her body? What about that?

266
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,598
I do what I want with my body.

267
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,017
That's apathetic.

268
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,768
-I'm not apathetic.
-Yes, you are.

269
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:40,188
I'm not. I just know that these bozos
you're working for,

270
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,357
they don't care about anything more
than their own ambitions.

271
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,609
That's absolutely not true.

272
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:46,028
You think this guy, Bill Clinton,
is gonna make a huge difference?

273
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,113
-I do.
-He's gonna do what's already inevitable.

274
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,282
-Okay, that's where you're wrong.
-Don't make me staple your head!

275
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,784
You're wrong. He's gonna make
a difference with African Americans.

276
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,620
He's gonna make a difference with women.
He gets women.

277
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,288
-My God.
-I mean, look at his record in Arkansas.

278
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:57,456
(SNORING)

279
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,124
Read his plans on health care.
Read his plans on education.

280
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,876
-Okay, or don't. You know, yeah.
-Oh, my God, I'm sorry.

281
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:01,960
-Yeah, I'm sorry.
-I just fell asleep.

282
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,462
-I'm really sorry.
-Yeah. That's fine.

283
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:04,713
Wake up to a new America.

284
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,548
-I believe you.
-This has been really interesting.

285
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:09,885
-Fine. You convinced me. You're nothing.
-I'm nothing.

286
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,803
FLOWERS ON TV:
So I'm here to repeat in front of all of you...

287
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,640
MAN: Hey! Listen up! Look up, everybody!

288
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,226
Yes, I was Bill Clinton's lover for 12 years.

289
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,394
WOMAN: Hey, somebody turn it up.

290
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,482
For the past two years, I have lied to the
press about our relationship to protect him.

291
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,901
The truth is, I loved him.

292
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,653
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

293
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,821
Now he tells me to deny it.

294
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:35,952
Well, I'm sick of all of the deceit,
and I'm sick of all of the lies.

295
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:40,957
Well, you're right about one thing.
He certainly gets women.

296
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:44,169
-This has been fun. Yeah.
-(LAUGHING) Bye, toilet paper guy.

297
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:45,879
Bye, copy girl.

298
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,173
MAN: Oh, my God. It never ends.

299
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,133
They just keep playing it
over and over and over again.

300
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,551
-WOMAN: It's gonna bIow over.
-Right.

301
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:52,678
PeopIe don't really care about this stuff.

302
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,846
-That's the thing.
-What I don't understand,

303
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,224
I've heard Bush has a mistress.

304
00:16:57,308 --> 00:17:00,602
Everybody's talking about it, so why
is it okay for him and not for Clinton?

305
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:01,978
She's trashy.

306
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:03,105
(MAN LAUGHING)

307
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,691
I mean, her hair alone
is enough reason to go after Clinton.

308
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,984
Big deal. Everyone has their weaknesses,
you know?

309
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:11,029
Those chubby redheads
with the long, fake fingernails?

310
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:13,573
-That's what Daddy likes.
-That's just nasty.

311
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,826
Gareth, you are unfailingly repugnant.

312
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:19,830
Hey. That is a coincidence. I love women
that say "unfailingly repugnant."

313
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,039
WILLIAM: You know what I love?

314
00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:23,375
I love long-haired brunettes
with horn-rimmed glasses.

315
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,585
I have no idea why.
They're like kryptonite to me.

316
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,003
I got that one, too.

317
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:30,340
I got a thing for guys
who've got a thing for me.

318
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,510
You might wanna look at that.
I'm gonna propose a toast.

319
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,137
I am fine with that.

320
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:37,389
-To Bill and his weaknesses.
-Yes.

321
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:38,724
-To Bill.
-To Bill.

322
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,934
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

323
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:45,897
(PHONE RINGING)

324
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,023
EMILY: Hello?

325
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,775
Hey! It's me!

326
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,527
-Is that Emily?
-Is that Emily?

327
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,571
-Hi, Emily!
-Hi, Emily!

328
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:53,822
What's all that noise?

329
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:57,534
Nothing. That's just a couple of idiots
I work with making fun of me

330
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:02,164
because they don't have a beautiful
girlfriend that they're eternally devoted to!

331
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,290
You're drunk.

332
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:04,750
You're beautiful.

333
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,627
-You're horny.
-You might be right.

334
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:08,795
(EMILY LAUGHING)

335
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,506
Emily? Come to New York.

336
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,384
You'll love it here.
It's the energy, the people. It's amazing.

337
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:18,597
Whoa, did you just say "energy"?
Will, you did not just say "energy."

338
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:19,890
What?

339
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:22,976
You're never coming back.

340
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:26,980
Hey, come on, now.
I just want you to come for a weekend.

341
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,150
You're right. I'm sorry.

342
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,361
Did you call Summer?

343
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:37,532
No. I left her a message.
She didn't get back to me.

344
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:42,454
Hey. You okay?

345
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,456
Yeah. I'm just really lonely here,

346
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,709
and I miss you like crazy,
and it's really hard.

347
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,421
Yeah. I know what you mean.

348
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:17,531
-Hey. What are you doing up?
-WILLIAM: Mr. McCormack.

349
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:21,868
Come on, you've been staring
at that package for about a week now.

350
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,997
How was the rest of your evening?
Successful, I take it.

351
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:31,086
Oh, my goodness. I'm in big trouble.
I love this girl!

352
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,213
You know, that's usually a good thing.

353
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,091
It's hard enough to get elected
the first black President

354
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:39,010
without having Julia Roberts
on your arm at the inauguration.

355
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:42,013
That is an impressive mental leap, Russ,

356
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:45,892
going from a one-night stand
to being sworn in as President.

357
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,436
Open it.

358
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:51,606
I know you're dying to know what's inside.

359
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:55,485
Just her name alone, Summer Hartley,
is driving me...

360
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,238
Look it! You got a tear right there! I see it.

361
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:01,199
Come on through. You can do it.

362
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:03,118
Thank you. Yes.

363
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:10,458
-It's a diary.
-Sweet Jesus. Let me see.

364
00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:14,754
No! Stop! Stop right there.
We're not gonna read this. We can't.

365
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:19,843
WILLIAM: "The boys' dorm is across
the quad, their windows visible from ours.

366
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:23,013
"The evenings are hot and sticky.

367
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:27,475
"We are all half-dressed,
pretending we can't be seen by the boys.

368
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:30,478
"Some of us are bold. My new friend

369
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,315
"Emily is sweet

370
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:38,445
"and embarrassed by it all,
always waiting to see what I will do."

371
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:43,783
Don't stop! This is good stuff.
Where were you? Okay.

372
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:48,371
"It's our last night, and the plan has
been in place for days.

373
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,957
"Emily and I are the last to leave,

374
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:55,754
"and as we reach the stairs,
I grab Emily firmly by her wrist.

375
00:20:55,838 --> 00:21:01,259
"She looks up at me expectantly
and I know what will happen next."

376
00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:03,345
-Do you?
-I think I have a pretty good idea.

377
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,847
Oh, my goodness!

378
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,601
What are you doing?
This is good stuff, man!

379
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,063
Wait a minute.

380
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,358
Is that your Emily?

381
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,693
Good night, Russell!

382
00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:21,279
She is a freak!

383
00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:23,698
Put the picture back!

384
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:38,880
WILLIAM: Wow.

385
00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:47,514
-HAMPTON: Who is it?
-Will Hayes. I called earlier.

386
00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:48,640
(CLEARS THROAT)

387
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:51,101
HAMPTON: You a Jehovah's Witness?

388
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,435
No.

389
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,396
Christ, you're tall.

390
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:55,605
(LATCH UNLOCKING)

391
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:57,941
Hi.

392
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,652
(BLUES MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONOGRAPH)

393
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,578
-Come in.
-Okay.

394
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,747
CIose the door behind you.

395
00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,083
HAMPTON: Lock it!

396
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:20,171
Summer said to hang tight.
She'll be back. She wants you to wait.

397
00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:25,176
-What do you got in there?
-I don't know. Are you Summer's father?

398
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,846
Yeah. I'm her daddy.

399
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:45,530
-Drink?
-No. No. It's a little early for me.

400
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:48,116
Early. You're fresh off the boat, aren't you?

401
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:52,996
So tell me about yourself. What's your deal?
What do you aspire to?

402
00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:56,291
What are your dreams?
What are your fancies?

403
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:59,044
What do you want to be when you grow up?

404
00:22:59,128 --> 00:23:00,336
-Sit down!
-Okay.

405
00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:01,796
What do you do now? You...

406
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:03,381
Wait, don't tell me.
You work for your daddy.

407
00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:04,549
-No.
-No, don't tell me!

408
00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:05,759
Wall Street. No!

409
00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:08,928
You kiss ass to some fancy uptown law firm.

410
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:12,015
-Actually...
-No! I give up. What do you do?

411
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:15,643
I'm working for Bill Clinton.
He's running for President.

412
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:16,853
No.

413
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:18,855
I know who Bill Clinton is.

414
00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:21,733
Yeah, in fact, I know more about Bill Clinton
than his own mother.

415
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:22,901
-Really?
-Yep.

416
00:23:22,985 --> 00:23:25,570
-What do you do?
-What do I do?

417
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:26,988
I drink!

418
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:28,656
Drink!

419
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:31,034
Be a man.

420
00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:36,081
There you go! Isn’t that better?

421
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:38,416
Swallow!

422
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,170
So tell me about Bill Clinton.

423
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:47,842
Hey. Wake up.

424
00:23:58,354 --> 00:24:00,063
You want some aspirin?

425
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:09,030
-You must be Will.
-Hi.

426
00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:12,617
I see you drank my boyfriend
under the table.

427
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:16,871
-WILLIAM: He's not your father?
-(CHUCKLES) Is that what he told you?

428
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,039
Hmm.

429
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:20,041
He's my thesis advisor.

430
00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:21,292
Oh.

431
00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:22,877
What else did he tell you?

432
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:26,339
He was telling me how to be a real man,
as opposed to the sort of

433
00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:29,759
-boy-man I seem to be.
-Did you learn anything?

434
00:24:30,553 --> 00:24:32,762
Yeah, there's a lot of drinking involved.

435
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:35,098
AIso cursing and fighting.

436
00:24:35,224 --> 00:24:36,516
-Sex?
-Yes.

437
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,434
Although that's not what we real men call it.

438
00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:40,395
What do you call it?

439
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:45,900
I have something for you.
This is from Emily.

440
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:50,655
-Haven't talked to her in ages.
-We'll be moving in together in the fall.

441
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:51,906
Uh-huh.

442
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,368
Oh, please! Daddy.

443
00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:56,744
(LAUGHING)

444
00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:01,749
Oh, come on! No.

445
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:04,335
Oh, this is...

446
00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:15,763
Did you read this?

447
00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:17,640
I didn't.

448
00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:23,605
-I read a page.
-A page.

449
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:25,356
-Two pages at the most.
-Two?

450
00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:28,443
And the part about you and Emily
touching each other and kissing.

451
00:25:28,611 --> 00:25:33,781
-Oh! That part, yeah.
-Incredibly descriptive. I felt like I was there.

452
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:36,492
You're a great writer. I mean...

453
00:25:36,619 --> 00:25:39,495
I think you should keep it.
You should read it when you're lonely.

454
00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:43,750
-I can't. It's your diary, so I can't do that.
-No, really, really. I just, I don't need it.

455
00:25:43,834 --> 00:25:45,919
I've already got it memorized,
so I'll just leave it on the table.

456
00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:48,296
Keep a hard copy.
That might be nice for me.

457
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,964
(BOTH LAUGHING)

458
00:25:50,466 --> 00:25:53,593
I wonder why Emily gave it to you
to give to me.

459
00:25:53,677 --> 00:25:54,802
Hmm.

460
00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:58,139
Hampton?

461
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:01,267
-Hampton?
-Are you gonna join us?

462
00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:03,728
That's Hampton Roth.
He's an incredible writer.

463
00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:06,898
-His book on the McGovern campaign is...
-Yeah.

464
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:10,026
-You...
-Yeah. We do.

465
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:14,280
Look, have you ever actually
had sex with a sexagenarian?

466
00:26:14,365 --> 00:26:17,325
-I haven't.
-Well, then you shouldn't really judge.

467
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:20,411
Well, actually, I'm not judging. Look at you.

468
00:26:20,496 --> 00:26:23,706
You're beautiful. You're sophisticated.
You're a very talented writer.

469
00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:24,874
Thank you.

470
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,293
I mean, to please a woman like you,
it would obviously take a...

471
00:26:27,378 --> 00:26:29,087
-Real man.
-Exactly.

472
00:26:29,171 --> 00:26:33,341
-Hard to compete with that.
-Well, unless you're the competitive type.

473
00:26:35,177 --> 00:26:39,055
-Yep, nice to meet you.
-Yeah, it was great meeting you, too.

474
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:42,100
I feel horrible about taking the...

475
00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:55,947
Sorry.

476
00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,992
I was just curious.

477
00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:02,996
Hampton encourages me
to cultivate my curiosity.

478
00:27:04,498 --> 00:27:07,000
He says it's the key
to being a good journalist.

479
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:08,751
Yeah.

480
00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:12,005
HAMPTON: Summer! Daddy's hungry!

481
00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,675
-Speak of the devil. Better go. Yeah.
-Hmm.

482
00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:16,843
HAMPTON: Where the hell are you?

483
00:27:16,927 --> 00:27:18,553
-Okay, bye.
-Bye.

484
00:27:18,929 --> 00:27:22,390
Yeah, give us a call sometime.
We should all go out for dinner.

485
00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:24,225
I'd... Yeah, I'd love dinner.

486
00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:25,727
-Yeah.
-HAMPTON: Hey!

487
00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:30,690
-Are you gonna call her?
-Are you insane?

488
00:27:30,774 --> 00:27:33,026
-Well, what are you gonna do?
-What am I gonna do?

489
00:27:33,110 --> 00:27:34,193
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

490
00:27:34,278 --> 00:27:38,698
I'm gonna keep my eye on the ball.
Emily and I have a future. We have a plan.

491
00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:40,658
Which may involve
some type of threesome now.

492
00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:43,369
Or foursome
if that old dude is still in the picture.

493
00:27:43,454 --> 00:27:45,288
You're not helping.

494
00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:50,752
I never should have opened that diary.
It's like Pandora's hot, sexy box.

495
00:27:51,587 --> 00:27:53,004
MAYA: What's a threesome?

496
00:27:53,088 --> 00:27:54,922
-What?
A threesome.

497
00:27:57,301 --> 00:28:01,346
That's a game that adults play sometimes
when they're bored.

498
00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:07,101
Whatever. So what happened with Emily?

499
00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:09,687
Nothing. I wanted to wait
till she came for a visit,

500
00:28:09,772 --> 00:28:12,607
and then I decided to do
something really dramatic.

501
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:16,944
WILLIAM: It was just one week
before the primary, and I had graduated

502
00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:21,449
from bagels and toilet paper
to signs and bumper stickers.

503
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,202
(SCREAMS)

504
00:28:24,286 --> 00:28:26,287
Jesus! Mercy!

505
00:28:26,372 --> 00:28:27,872
Hold, please.

506
00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:30,708
What am I doing here?

507
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:39,050
Move over! Another foot!
Go, another foot. Move over!

508
00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:41,302
Over, over, over!

509
00:28:46,183 --> 00:28:49,435
Just want to let everyone know
that the new signs are ready.

510
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,229
They're looking good.

511
00:28:51,313 --> 00:28:53,314
I wrote three speeches
for Congressman Sweeney.

512
00:28:53,399 --> 00:28:54,649
(STAPLING CONTINUES)

513
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:55,983
How's high school?

514
00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:59,987
He's from Texas. His name's George Bush.
But he is not the President.

515
00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:02,115
Instead, he's the eldest son
of George and Barbara

516
00:29:02,199 --> 00:29:04,534
and considered a key
political advisor of the White House.

517
00:29:04,618 --> 00:29:06,536
Bryant, well, you forgot to mention
the Texas Rangers.

518
00:29:06,620 --> 00:29:07,662
BRYANT: Oh, okay.

519
00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:09,622
Man, if this guy's smart,
he'll go back to baseball.

520
00:29:09,706 --> 00:29:11,040
-No kidding.
-Anybody see Hayes?

521
00:29:11,125 --> 00:29:12,166
-No.
-No.

522
00:29:12,626 --> 00:29:16,170
Hayes! Where is Hayes? Hayes!

523
00:29:16,672 --> 00:29:19,590
Is it true you graduated first
of your class at Madison?

524
00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:21,384
-Yeah.
-All right.

525
00:29:21,468 --> 00:29:23,302
-Come on. We're walking.
-We're walking.

526
00:29:23,387 --> 00:29:25,430
Here's a list of Madison graduates
in the New York area.

527
00:29:25,514 --> 00:29:27,348
These people earn 200 grand plus a year.

528
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:30,852
We have a $10,000-a-plate fundraiser
on Monday with 15 empty tables.

529
00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:33,396
I can't have that, Hayes.
I need you to sell five of them.

530
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,189
Hold on. No more coffee, bagels?

531
00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:36,983
-We'll see how this goes, okay?
-Gareth.

532
00:29:37,067 --> 00:29:40,736
-What?
-Thank you. I'm really happy right now.

533
00:29:40,863 --> 00:29:42,697
-Okay, Hayes.
-Okay.

534
00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:46,826
-There's the desk.
-Look at that. Yeah.

535
00:29:47,995 --> 00:29:50,204
Yeah, that's funny, the toilet paper.

536
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:52,748
That's good because it's ironic.

537
00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:55,710
Yeah, that's right, everybody. My desk.

538
00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:58,713
Right here, I got a desk, and I got a list.

539
00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:02,008
And I have a phone. And this empty basket.

540
00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:03,426
No, no, no, I really don't agree

541
00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:07,054
that the Governor has a character problem,
Mrs. Perleman.

542
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:09,390
Did you know that
50% of Americans believe that

543
00:30:09,475 --> 00:30:11,017
marijuana use should be legalized?

544
00:30:11,101 --> 00:30:12,226
(PHONE LINE DRONES)

545
00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:13,352
Hello?

546
00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:16,355
No, no, no, he wasn't a draft dodger.

547
00:30:16,482 --> 00:30:19,400
Besides, did you know that
the majority of Americans believe

548
00:30:19,485 --> 00:30:22,570
that the Vietnam War
was just a terrible idea?

549
00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:24,530
Both legs.

550
00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:27,408
Wow, I am sorry. You must miss them.

551
00:30:27,493 --> 00:30:29,243
(PHONE LINE DRONES)

552
00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:34,832
Yes, I understand your concern,
but I think you should remember

553
00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,879
that the Governor comes from
a town called Hope.

554
00:30:40,714 --> 00:30:44,050
And hope is exactly what he stands for, so...

555
00:30:44,218 --> 00:30:47,762
No, no, I know it's corny, but I also think

556
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:51,766
that sometimes corny is exactly
what this country needs.

557
00:30:53,435 --> 00:30:56,646
That would be wonderful. No, thank you.

558
00:30:56,730 --> 00:30:58,105
Two seats.

559
00:30:58,732 --> 00:31:00,399
Okay, great. Thank you, Mr. Bishop.

560
00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:04,779
Yeah, the dinner's next Thursday.

561
00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:07,615
Yes, when I spoke with Hillary this morning

562
00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:12,370
she said that she wanted to get to know
our most important supporters.

563
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:15,122
No, I think you'd definitely
enjoy meeting her.

564
00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:16,415
Yeah.

565
00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:21,379
An entire table? No, that is very possible.

566
00:31:21,463 --> 00:31:25,550
I'll put you down for one table, then.
That sounds great.

567
00:31:25,634 --> 00:31:27,760
Okay, I look forward
to seeing you next Thursday.

568
00:31:27,844 --> 00:31:29,554
Okay, thank you.

569
00:31:32,808 --> 00:31:36,852
I just sold an entire table for $50,000.

570
00:31:41,275 --> 00:31:42,692
(ALL CHEERING)

571
00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:45,194
That's my guy, Will. My guy.

572
00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:52,702
ALL: (CHANTING)
Toilet paper guy! Toilet paper guy!

573
00:31:53,537 --> 00:31:56,455
Good evening, gentlemen.
Pack of Reds, please.

574
00:31:56,540 --> 00:31:59,375
3.60. New tax and a new warning.

575
00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:01,502
Christ.

576
00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:04,672
MAN: Tell us the truth, my friend.

577
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:07,383
-Did that Clinton inhale or not?
-What does it matter?

578
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:10,845
That's like if your girlfriend catches you
in bed with another woman, then you say,

579
00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:12,138
"But we didn't do it."

580
00:32:12,222 --> 00:32:15,433
-What, is that gonna matter to her?
-Yeah, it does. Hi.

581
00:32:15,684 --> 00:32:19,061
-Hello.
-Pack of American Eagles, blue, please.

582
00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:20,563
4.25.

583
00:32:20,647 --> 00:32:24,275
4.25? You pay $4.25
for a pack of cigarettes?

584
00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:26,277
They don't put as many chemicals in them.

585
00:32:26,361 --> 00:32:29,071
-So those are healthy cigarettes.
-Something like that.

586
00:32:29,156 --> 00:32:31,240
So if there's not as many chemicals in them,

587
00:32:31,325 --> 00:32:34,410
they should cost less, not more,
don't you think?

588
00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:37,163
They put saltpeter in your cigarettes,

589
00:32:37,247 --> 00:32:40,708
which make them burn faster,
which make you smoke more.

590
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:46,339
Which means, at the end of the day,
your cigarettes actually cost more, not less.

591
00:32:48,759 --> 00:32:51,552
Copy girl,
what I think you're actually paying for

592
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:54,680
is the picture of the eagle
and the pretty pastel colors.

593
00:32:54,765 --> 00:32:59,226
Some reassuring idea about your lifestyle.
The rest is pretty much crap.

594
00:32:59,770 --> 00:33:01,687
-You wanna bet?
-Sure.

595
00:33:01,772 --> 00:33:04,231
-20 bucks.
-I got 20 bucks.

596
00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:05,691
Easiest 20 bucks I ever made.

597
00:33:05,776 --> 00:33:06,817
-Really?
-Yeah.

598
00:33:06,902 --> 00:33:08,569
WILLIAM: That's funny.
In a minute, I'll have 40.

599
00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:11,906
Okay, we have to inhale at the same time
for the same amount of time.

600
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:14,450
-Yep.
-Ready, steady, go.

601
00:33:24,086 --> 00:33:27,338
-It's my birthday today.
-Happy birthday.

602
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,933
Why aren't you out celebrating?

603
00:33:39,559 --> 00:33:43,479
My boyfriend, Lucas, was taking me out
for dinner and then to a party.

604
00:33:43,563 --> 00:33:48,275
But at last minute, he gets a gig in Philly,
which, of course, he takes 'cause...

605
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,869
Truth is he's far more interested in being

606
00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:01,956
the next Kurt Cobain
than being my boyfriend.

607
00:34:02,374 --> 00:34:04,083
Who's Kurt Cobain?

608
00:34:05,419 --> 00:34:07,128
You're kidding me!

609
00:34:08,338 --> 00:34:09,630
What?

610
00:34:10,465 --> 00:34:11,799
Smoke.

611
00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:18,431
Oh.

612
00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:20,850
-Look at that.
-Look at that.

613
00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:22,727
(CLICKING TONGUE)

614
00:34:24,187 --> 00:34:25,229
(GROANS)

615
00:34:25,313 --> 00:34:26,480
(LAUGHING)

616
00:34:26,565 --> 00:34:29,734
-All right.
-No, come on.

617
00:34:29,818 --> 00:34:31,318
The satisfaction of me being right

618
00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:34,530
and you being wrong
is more than enough for me.

619
00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:36,782
Well, I never welsh on a bet,
so I'll tell you what.

620
00:34:36,867 --> 00:34:39,660
I'll take you out for dinner,
for a birthday dinner.

621
00:34:39,745 --> 00:34:41,370
-What do you say?
-Like a date?

622
00:34:41,496 --> 00:34:43,205
No, I didn't mean it like that.

623
00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:44,665
Like an "I feel sorry for you

624
00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:47,209
"because it's your birthday
and you have no plans" dinner.

625
00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:49,962
-You know, one of those.
-Well, I'll tell you what.

626
00:34:50,046 --> 00:34:52,047
You can take me to this party
I have to go to,

627
00:34:52,174 --> 00:34:55,050
because there's no way
I can face going alone.

628
00:34:57,220 --> 00:34:59,263
(TRIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

629
00:35:02,392 --> 00:35:04,852
MAN: Yeah, I'm gonna go head over...

630
00:35:06,563 --> 00:35:07,730
Whoa.

631
00:35:09,608 --> 00:35:11,901
I think I'm a little out of my league here.

632
00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:13,861
Yes, you are.

633
00:35:18,408 --> 00:35:21,619
So Emily is what, like,
your college sweetheart?

634
00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,621
-It's amazing how you do that.
-What?

635
00:35:23,705 --> 00:35:25,289
The way you take the simplest statement,

636
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:28,626
and then you twist it with
a completely negative connotation.

637
00:35:28,710 --> 00:35:31,670
-It's really, actually, impressive. I'm amazed.
-I didn't mean to do that.

638
00:35:31,755 --> 00:35:34,173
-But I understand. I get it.
-I actually think it's very sweet.

639
00:35:34,257 --> 00:35:35,633
-See, you did it again.
-Really?

640
00:35:35,717 --> 00:35:37,134
-Yeah.
-I don't even know I'm doing it.

641
00:35:37,219 --> 00:35:40,387
It's probably hard for you to imagine
a relationship based on mutual respect

642
00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:44,308
without even the slightest hint of
whatever you call it, masochism.

643
00:35:44,392 --> 00:35:47,478
Well, if your deal with Emily
is so gosh darn wonderful,

644
00:35:47,562 --> 00:35:49,313
then why don't you just marry her?

645
00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:51,232
What's stopping you?

646
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,651
Nothing.

647
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,654
-Wow.
-Wow.

648
00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:01,575
She gets it tomorrow. I made a reservation

649
00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:03,911
at some fancy French restaurant
on the Upper East Side.

650
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:07,206
Oh, my God. You're doing it
in front of a room full of strangers?

651
00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:11,961
-Yeah, I am. What's wrong with that?
-No, nothing. I think it shows confidence.

652
00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:13,087
What are you gonna say?

653
00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:16,048
-I'm still working on it. I don't know.
-Oh, you should work on it with me.

654
00:36:16,132 --> 00:36:20,678
You should practice with me.
I'm really good at that. I will be Emily.

655
00:36:20,762 --> 00:36:25,140
I'm Emily, your college sweetheart.
Is there something you wanted to ask me?

656
00:36:25,267 --> 00:36:27,476
-Emily...
-Wait! You've got to get down on your knee.

657
00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:29,520
No, I'm not getting down on my knee.

658
00:36:29,604 --> 00:36:32,106
She'll like it.
She'll like seeing you down on your knee.

659
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:37,278
-I'm not getting down on my knee.
-Such a mistake. Okay.

660
00:36:37,779 --> 00:36:39,655
-Emily.
-Yes, William.

661
00:36:39,781 --> 00:36:42,116
Don't make me laugh. Emily,

662
00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:44,118
will you,

663
00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:45,953
um,

664
00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:49,290
marry me?

665
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:53,168
-No.
-Oh, my God.

666
00:36:53,295 --> 00:36:55,045
Well, what do you mean,
"Will you, um, marry me?"

667
00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:56,714
I haven't seen you in weeks!

668
00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:59,925
You don't look happy or excited
about the prospect of our marriage!

669
00:37:00,010 --> 00:37:03,888
You're asking me to give up my freedom,

670
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:05,389
my joie de vivre

671
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:08,058
for an institution that fails
as often as it succeeds?

672
00:37:08,143 --> 00:37:11,937
And why should I marry you, anyway?
I mean, why do you wanna marry me?

673
00:37:12,022 --> 00:37:15,482
Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill
an ideal that society embeds in us

674
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:18,444
from an early age to promote
a consumer capitalist agenda?

675
00:37:18,528 --> 00:37:19,570
Oh!

676
00:37:20,030 --> 00:37:21,989
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, my God!

677
00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:25,242
-You should've got on your knee!
-Just shut up!

678
00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:28,579
Here.

679
00:37:29,873 --> 00:37:32,416
I wanna marry you
because you're the first person

680
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,585
that I want to look at
when I wake up in the morning

681
00:37:34,669 --> 00:37:37,254
and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight.

682
00:37:37,339 --> 00:37:41,175
Because the first time
that I saw these hands,

683
00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:44,428
I couldn’t imagine
not being abIe to hold them.

684
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:48,182
But mainly, when you love someone
as much as I love you

685
00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:53,103
getting married is the only thing left to do.

686
00:37:53,188 --> 00:37:55,606
So will you...

687
00:37:58,610 --> 00:37:59,777
Um...

688
00:38:02,614 --> 00:38:04,114
marry me?

689
00:38:05,033 --> 00:38:07,242
Definitely. Maybe.

690
00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:10,871
I have to think about it.

691
00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:14,458
Walk me home?

692
00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:18,379
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

693
00:38:24,803 --> 00:38:27,930
-Do you want a cup of tea?
-Yeah. I'd love one.

694
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:32,393
Hey.

695
00:38:32,477 --> 00:38:34,812
How come you have so many copies
of Jane Eyre?

696
00:38:34,896 --> 00:38:37,648
-It's a long story.
-Really?

697
00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:40,567
It seems to be about 300 pages or so.

698
00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:41,902
(LAUGHS)

699
00:38:42,487 --> 00:38:44,113
WILLIAM: Seriously, why?

700
00:38:45,407 --> 00:38:49,284
For my 13th birthday,
I wanted a pair of gold stud earrings,

701
00:38:49,411 --> 00:38:53,539
and instead my dad bought me
a hardcover copy of Jane Eyre.

702
00:38:53,623 --> 00:38:57,876
And inside, he wrote a beautiful inscription,
which I could care less about at the time

703
00:38:57,961 --> 00:39:00,671
seeing as I was so pissed
about the earrings,

704
00:39:00,755 --> 00:39:05,676
which was tragic as it turned out 'cause
it was the last present he ever gave me.

705
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,136
What do you mean?

706
00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:10,264
He died three weeks later in a car accident.

707
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,809
Jesus. That's awful.

708
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,186
I'm sorry.

709
00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:19,356
-Have you ever read it?
-No.

710
00:39:19,441 --> 00:39:22,526
I read it every year or two.
Each time it's different.

711
00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:24,945
It tells me different things.

712
00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:30,784
Anyhow, when I went away to college,
my mom sold our house

713
00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:33,704
and somewhere along the way,
Jane Eyre got lost.

714
00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:37,041
Now, every time I pass
a second-hand bookstore,

715
00:39:37,125 --> 00:39:40,085
I look for the copy that my dad
bought me for my birthday.

716
00:39:40,170 --> 00:39:41,420
(COME AS YOU ARE PLAYING)

717
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:42,713
I know I'll never find it.

718
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:47,593
It's stupid, but it's become this,
like, weird superstitious little...

719
00:39:47,677 --> 00:39:51,013
-It's not stupid.
-Thanks. Hobby.

720
00:39:51,890 --> 00:39:53,807
What are all these?

721
00:39:53,975 --> 00:39:58,145
Oh, these are the ones
I found that have inscriptions.

722
00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:05,152
"With love and hopes and dreams
of second chances. Alice."

723
00:40:08,198 --> 00:40:09,448
What is this?

724
00:40:09,532 --> 00:40:13,327
This is Kurt Cobain.
This is Nirvana. Do you like it?

725
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:15,829
Yeah, I do.

726
00:40:17,373 --> 00:40:20,209
You think it's ridiculous
that I want to be a politician, don't you?

727
00:40:20,335 --> 00:40:22,044
-Yes.
-Thank you.

728
00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:26,924
No, no, I get the whole politician thing.
It's easy to like you.

729
00:40:27,008 --> 00:40:29,760
That's true. That's very true.

730
00:40:29,844 --> 00:40:33,847
I just wonder if you want people
to like you a little too much.

731
00:40:34,182 --> 00:40:36,141
That's also true.

732
00:40:36,226 --> 00:40:38,102
I should want them to hate me.

733
00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:41,188
I'm gonna start working on that right away.
You got any tips for me?

734
00:40:41,272 --> 00:40:42,940
No, but you're off to a great start.

735
00:40:43,024 --> 00:40:44,066
-Yeah?
-I'm hating you already.

736
00:40:44,192 --> 00:40:45,234
Good.

737
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:46,860
What do you wanna be when you grow up?

738
00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:49,196
I mean, you're too smart
to be making Xeroxes

739
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,614
-and babysitting.
-No.

740
00:40:50,698 --> 00:40:53,700
-I don't know!
-Whatever else you do.

741
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:57,412
I don't know,
and I don't know how to know. You know?

742
00:40:58,039 --> 00:40:59,248
(SIGHS)

743
00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:02,167
You know what I really wanna do

744
00:41:02,252 --> 00:41:06,046
is I wanna go to all those places
that I know nothing about.

745
00:41:07,215 --> 00:41:09,258
I've been saving money.

746
00:41:09,384 --> 00:41:11,385
But I can't even get it together to do that.

747
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,929
Probably because I'm stuck in a rut
with this guy.

748
00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:15,681
You should dump him.

749
00:41:15,765 --> 00:41:20,602
I know that's none of my business,
but you're too good for him.

750
00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:22,396
You are.

751
00:41:24,399 --> 00:41:27,067
-You know what's really cool?
-I don't.

752
00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:30,863
We can just sit here
and we don't have to worry about

753
00:41:30,947 --> 00:41:35,242
-flirting or all the attraction stuff.
All that stuff.

754
00:41:36,286 --> 00:41:37,619
Very cool.

755
00:41:38,163 --> 00:41:39,288
Yeah.

756
00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:41,832
(BLUES MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

757
00:41:56,139 --> 00:41:57,973
I got to go.

758
00:42:02,103 --> 00:42:03,437
Dumbass!

759
00:42:37,222 --> 00:42:38,889
(ELEVATOR DINGING)

760
00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:53,403
(PANTING)

761
00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:56,323
(ELEVATOR DINGS)

762
00:42:56,991 --> 00:42:58,200
(SCREAMS)

763
00:42:59,035 --> 00:43:01,328
(HOUSEKEEPER SHOUTING
IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

764
00:43:08,169 --> 00:43:10,295
-Oh, God.
-RUSSELL: There he is!

765
00:43:10,380 --> 00:43:14,132
-Told you he wouldn’t be long.
-Hi! I wanted to surprise you!

766
00:43:14,217 --> 00:43:17,552
-I took the red-eye!
-(WHEEZING) That's incredible!

767
00:43:18,513 --> 00:43:23,642
I was just telling Emily how Arthur sent you
to Albany as part of the advance team.

768
00:43:23,726 --> 00:43:25,686
Advance team.
-RUSSELL: Yeah. How'd it go?

769
00:43:25,770 --> 00:43:28,981
-How'd it go? Man, it went great!
-Great.

770
00:43:29,065 --> 00:43:30,565
-Great.
-Great.

771
00:43:31,109 --> 00:43:34,736
-Are you okay?
-Oh, yeah, I was just getting a little exercise.

772
00:43:34,862 --> 00:43:36,530
-I ran up the stairs.
-Okay.

773
00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:40,993
I'm going to the office. It's...
Got a big day. Nice meeting you.

774
00:43:41,077 --> 00:43:42,160
-And you.
-Okay.

775
00:43:42,245 --> 00:43:43,370
Okay.

776
00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:45,747
(WHISPERING) Good luck.

777
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:50,419
-Hi.
-Hi.

778
00:43:51,713 --> 00:43:53,797
-Here.
-Yeah.

779
00:43:55,925 --> 00:43:57,217
Hey.

780
00:44:05,393 --> 00:44:08,603
-It's weird. Your tongue tastes different.
-What?

781
00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:10,939
It tastes different, your tongue.

782
00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:14,651
-That is weird.
-It's not bad. It's just different.

783
00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:18,113
Maybe it's the tap water here.

784
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:21,575
Or the pH balance...
I don't know what I'm talking about.

785
00:44:21,659 --> 00:44:24,578
Told you New York was gonna change you.

786
00:44:25,913 --> 00:44:28,123
-Could we maybe go for a walk?
-Yeah.

787
00:44:28,249 --> 00:44:30,542
-Just to get some air?
-Yeah, you could see New York.

788
00:44:30,626 --> 00:44:31,835
I would love that.

789
00:44:32,253 --> 00:44:33,837
WILLIAM: So, did I ever tell you...
EMILY: I was gonna...

790
00:44:33,921 --> 00:44:36,089
-Oh, sorry. No, go.
-What?

791
00:44:36,758 --> 00:44:42,512
I was gonna say, did I ever tell you
about the day my dad proposed to my mom?

792
00:44:43,097 --> 00:44:44,139
No.

793
00:44:45,099 --> 00:44:48,352
Well, Dad was on his way
to meet my mom to propose,

794
00:44:48,436 --> 00:44:52,773
and he runs into his ex-girlfriend,
Caroline Hopper.

795
00:44:53,775 --> 00:44:56,234
And they're talking,
they're looking at each other,

796
00:44:56,319 --> 00:44:58,236
and all these old feelings,
they start coming up.

797
00:44:58,321 --> 00:45:00,447
And he's thinking,

798
00:45:00,615 --> 00:45:01,615
(SIGHS)

799
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:04,826
"I could run away right now
with Caroline Hopper,

800
00:45:04,952 --> 00:45:06,578
"be a happy man.

801
00:45:06,662 --> 00:45:08,747
"All I have to do is kiss her."

802
00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:11,958
But instead, he looks up,

803
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:18,298
and he sees my mom
walking around the corner.

804
00:45:19,008 --> 00:45:22,427
And that moment he knows
that he had no reason to be afraid.

805
00:45:22,512 --> 00:45:24,137
You understand?

806
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:29,810
Am I Caroline Hopper in this story
or your mom?

807
00:45:29,977 --> 00:45:31,103
(EMILY GASPS)

808
00:45:31,187 --> 00:45:32,354
Oh, my God! I'm your mom!

809
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,231
-Emily, when I saw you this morning...
-Will, please.

810
00:45:34,315 --> 00:45:35,649
-... I knew...
-Put that back in your pocket.

811
00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:37,275
-Just stand up, Will. Stop.
-...with absolute clarity.

812
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:38,610
-Wait, wait, wait.
-I have no reason to be afraid.

813
00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:39,986
-Let's think about this.
-I'm not afraid of this.

814
00:45:40,071 --> 00:45:41,321
It's just like the day that my...

815
00:45:41,406 --> 00:45:42,572
Will!

816
00:45:43,199 --> 00:45:44,533
I slept with Charlie!

817
00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:46,243
(BIRDS FLUTTERING)

818
00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:48,161
(SIGHS)

819
00:45:51,499 --> 00:45:53,667
I thought we had a plan.

820
00:45:54,419 --> 00:45:58,088
Well, you had a plan, Will.
You have a really big plan!

821
00:45:58,172 --> 00:46:00,132
-Pretty sure we both had that plan.
-I just can't keep pretending

822
00:46:00,216 --> 00:46:01,883
-that I want to be part of it anymore.
-You were there

823
00:46:02,009 --> 00:46:03,593
-when we made it.
-And I didn't know how to tell you.

824
00:46:03,678 --> 00:46:04,928
How do you tell someone
that you care about

825
00:46:05,012 --> 00:46:06,096
that you don't want the same things

826
00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:07,556
-they want anymore?
-The best way?

827
00:46:07,682 --> 00:46:10,434
Definitely having sex with the roommate.

828
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:12,310
(SIGHS)

829
00:46:12,395 --> 00:46:14,855
It was cowardly, and I'm sorry.

830
00:46:14,939 --> 00:46:16,690
Oh, good.

831
00:46:18,025 --> 00:46:21,194
(GROANING)

832
00:46:23,865 --> 00:46:25,532
You're killing me.

833
00:46:27,201 --> 00:46:30,036
No, I'm not. I'm letting you go.

834
00:46:31,038 --> 00:46:33,039
'Cause if we stay together, Will,
we're gonna be miserable.

835
00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:34,332
I'm gonna hold you back from all these...

836
00:46:34,417 --> 00:46:37,669
-That's not true.
-...incredible dreams that you have.

837
00:46:37,753 --> 00:46:40,589
And then, eventually,
you're totally gonna hate me for it.

838
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:41,923
-No.
-Yes.

839
00:46:42,049 --> 00:46:45,218
Will, I don't want that,
and you don't want that.

840
00:46:46,095 --> 00:46:47,554
Trust me.

841
00:46:52,143 --> 00:46:55,061
You're gonna be just fine, Mr. Hayes,

842
00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:57,647
without me.

843
00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:00,150
Wow.

844
00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:01,902
Yeah.

845
00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:03,945
Wow.

846
00:47:04,655 --> 00:47:07,908
ANNOUNCER:
Here is Tom Brokaw in New York.

847
00:47:07,992 --> 00:47:10,577
Good evening. Bill Clinton may have
been wounded in New York,

848
00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:12,454
but the big question tonight is,
to what degree?

849
00:47:12,580 --> 00:47:15,916
Because, after all, he is the big survivor,
indeed, the victor

850
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,461
in the New York primary
and by a comfortable margin.

851
00:47:19,587 --> 00:47:21,796
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

852
00:47:31,766 --> 00:47:32,807
(TOM CHATTERING ON TV)

853
00:47:34,685 --> 00:47:37,270
WOMEN: (SINGING)
Goes 'round the moon

854
00:47:37,688 --> 00:47:42,442
I see the passion in your eyes

855
00:47:42,527 --> 00:47:47,447
Sometimes it's all a big surprise

856
00:47:47,532 --> 00:47:51,785
'Cause there was a time when all I did

857
00:47:51,994 --> 00:47:53,954
(ALL CHATTERING)

858
00:48:05,633 --> 00:48:07,384
Hey.

859
00:48:07,677 --> 00:48:09,386
Congratulations.

860
00:48:09,971 --> 00:48:12,430
I hear they asked you to stay on.
You must be very happy.

861
00:48:12,515 --> 00:48:16,393
Yeah, yeah, he did, and I am.
Very, very happy.

862
00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:19,020
Really? Why do I feel
like I should hide the razor blades?

863
00:48:19,146 --> 00:48:20,772
And the staplers and those scissors?

864
00:48:20,856 --> 00:48:24,526
I'll be fine. But this song,
it's an excellent cure for the will to live.

865
00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:27,654
I know. What about the dancing?
Make that end.

866
00:48:28,739 --> 00:48:30,073
(CHUCKLES)

867
00:48:30,992 --> 00:48:33,702
I'm sorry about the other night.

868
00:48:33,828 --> 00:48:36,621
It's okay. I just didn't think
that Lucas would approve.

869
00:48:36,706 --> 00:48:39,541
-Or Emily, for that matter.
-(SCOFFS) Well.

870
00:48:39,667 --> 00:48:43,503
Besides, you and me,
it'd kind of be like cats and dogs.

871
00:48:44,171 --> 00:48:45,839
Yeah. Yeah.

872
00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:50,760
-Oil and water.
-Sandpaper and bare ass.

873
00:48:50,845 --> 00:48:52,971
-That's gross. That's just gross.
-You'd be the ass.

874
00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:54,139
Yeah. No, thank you.

875
00:48:54,223 --> 00:48:55,515
-I'd be honored.
-Lennon and McCartney.

876
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:57,225
-They were good together.
-Yeah, while it lasted,

877
00:48:57,351 --> 00:49:00,020
and then they couldn’t even be friends.

878
00:49:00,396 --> 00:49:01,521
(LAUGHING)

879
00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:05,358
-I think we can, at least, manage that.
-I think we could.

880
00:49:07,028 --> 00:49:08,361
(WOMAN LAUGHING)

881
00:49:08,529 --> 00:49:10,530
-Enchanté.
-Yeah. Salud.

882
00:49:14,535 --> 00:49:16,453
-Come on, let's dance.
-No.

883
00:49:16,537 --> 00:49:18,038
-Why?
-Okay.

884
00:49:24,587 --> 00:49:27,047
WILLIAM: You ready?
RUSSELL: Yeah.

885
00:49:37,266 --> 00:49:39,225
MAYA: Guess that's it for Emily.

886
00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:43,563
I can't believe that
she rehearsed with Charlie.

887
00:49:44,732 --> 00:49:49,194
-I can't believe it, either.
-That leaves April. Maybe Summer.

888
00:49:49,278 --> 00:49:51,488
-Anybody else?
-I was too busy.

889
00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:53,907
I was too busy working on the campaign.

890
00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:55,659
Anyway, when Clinton got elected,

891
00:49:55,743 --> 00:49:56,951
Russell and I started our own
consulting firm,

892
00:49:57,078 --> 00:49:58,078
(CAMERA CLICKING)

893
00:49:58,162 --> 00:50:00,789
and we worked on campaigns for everybody.

894
00:50:00,915 --> 00:50:02,374
City council, state senate.

895
00:50:02,458 --> 00:50:04,417
We even did one for the local dog catcher.

896
00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:08,421
That's very interesting, Dad,
but what about girlfriends?

897
00:50:08,506 --> 00:50:11,466
-What about Mom?
-Well, I started dating again.

898
00:50:11,592 --> 00:50:15,261
-But nothing serious.
-What about April? What happened to her?

899
00:50:15,346 --> 00:50:18,973
Well, a week after Kurt Cobain died,
she broke up with her boyfriend.

900
00:50:19,100 --> 00:50:20,517
She went traveling.

901
00:50:20,601 --> 00:50:23,478
She traveled all over the world,
just like she always dreamed of doing.

902
00:50:23,604 --> 00:50:27,232
And she says
that it was because of something

903
00:50:27,316 --> 00:50:29,150
that I said to her on her birthday.

904
00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:32,237
Anyway, we started writing postcards.
We started writing letters.

905
00:50:32,321 --> 00:50:35,615
And before I knew it, even though
we were separated by entire worlds,

906
00:50:35,700 --> 00:50:37,617
we became great friends.

907
00:50:42,331 --> 00:50:45,667
WILLIAM: It was 1994,
and New York was full of new life.

908
00:50:45,793 --> 00:50:47,168
More jobs, more money.

909
00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:50,839
That was the start of the Internet.
And overnight, everyone in Manhattan

910
00:50:50,965 --> 00:50:52,090
had a cell phone.

911
00:50:52,174 --> 00:50:53,216
Can you hear me now?

912
00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:55,135
WILLIAM: Which they never put down.

913
00:50:56,971 --> 00:51:02,642
And then, our old boss, Arthur Robredo
gave Russell and me our first big break.

914
00:51:02,727 --> 00:51:04,310
-This just came for you.
-Thanks.

915
00:51:04,395 --> 00:51:08,523
I had finally made it inside the room.

916
00:51:08,983 --> 00:51:10,275
-Gareth.
-Hayes.

917
00:51:10,359 --> 00:51:11,609
Good morning.

918
00:51:11,694 --> 00:51:13,361
Hey, let's get this party started.

919
00:51:14,029 --> 00:51:15,405
What's the word from upstate?

920
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:18,241
WILLIAM: For the first time,
New York was coming to me,

921
00:51:18,325 --> 00:51:20,160
instead of the other way around.

922
00:51:20,578 --> 00:51:23,872
"The most endangered species in our nation

923
00:51:23,998 --> 00:51:26,791
"isn't a big woodpecker
or some freshwater fish.

924
00:51:26,876 --> 00:51:29,544
"It's the tongue in our heads!

925
00:51:29,670 --> 00:51:33,381
"Listen to the truncated
bastard language of today.

926
00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:36,342
"The average vocabulary is a third
of what it was 100 years ago.

927
00:51:36,427 --> 00:51:40,847
"Words fall out of our mouths
and die at our feet!

928
00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:43,975
"The landscape of vocabulary
is being hacked down

929
00:51:44,059 --> 00:51:47,729
"and grubbed up by the dribble
of pop culture,

930
00:51:47,855 --> 00:51:49,314
"poisoned by lazy obscenity..."

931
00:51:49,398 --> 00:51:50,440
(WHISPERING) Will?

932
00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:52,233
HAMPTON: "...infantilized by
a youth-obsessed media..."

933
00:51:52,359 --> 00:51:54,027
-Hey.
-Hey.

934
00:51:54,904 --> 00:51:59,616
It's my favorite man-boy.
You look very manly.

935
00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:03,119
Well, thank you, thank you. That's the aim.

936
00:52:03,913 --> 00:52:06,372
-How's Emily?
-Emily.

937
00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:10,210
She's starring in
somebody else’s diary now.

938
00:52:10,294 --> 00:52:11,461
Oh.

939
00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:16,090
-How's the Professor?
-The Professor is wonderful.

940
00:52:16,217 --> 00:52:19,427
-He's funny.
-He dumped me for a sophomore.

941
00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:22,597
Told me it was for my own good.

942
00:52:23,599 --> 00:52:26,810
Everybody seems to be
using that line these days.

943
00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:30,605
What have you been up to?

944
00:52:31,607 --> 00:52:36,903
I'm writing these really dumb items
for New York Magazine.

945
00:52:36,987 --> 00:52:38,780
Waiting for my big break.

946
00:52:38,906 --> 00:52:43,034
"And 'syntax' isn't
what Nevada brothels pay the IRS."

947
00:52:43,118 --> 00:52:44,202
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

948
00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:46,621
-I'm gonna go listen to the Professor.
-Sure.

949
00:52:46,747 --> 00:52:47,789
Nice glasses.

950
00:52:47,915 --> 00:52:50,625
HAMPTON: "Listen to your kids if you can."

951
00:52:50,751 --> 00:52:52,836
WOMAN: Thank you.
WILLIAM: Scotch, rocks, please.

952
00:52:53,671 --> 00:52:56,256
William Hayes!

953
00:52:58,175 --> 00:53:00,468
From... Don't tell me!

954
00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:03,763
Wisconsin! Yes, the Cheese State.

955
00:53:05,850 --> 00:53:07,475
Very nice of you
to come to our little shindig.

956
00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:08,893
-I'll have another, please.
-PIeasure.

957
00:53:08,978 --> 00:53:13,147
Yeah. Summer tells me you're writing
speeches now for Arthur Robredo?

958
00:53:13,274 --> 00:53:17,485
-She tells me you're dating a sophomore.
-No. Actually, it's two freshmen,

959
00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:20,989
which, on a good day,
add up to a sophomore, I suppose.

960
00:53:22,283 --> 00:53:25,827
WaIk with me. Why would you
wanna work for a hack like Arthur Robredo?

961
00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:31,541
As I recall from our first encounter,
you're a man of principles and ideals, even.

962
00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:36,546
Don't tell me you're just another
yuppie puppy in an Armani suit.

963
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:40,300
You were wonderful, darling.
Is he being nice? You being nice?

964
00:53:40,384 --> 00:53:43,344
-Nice? Yeah, he can handle himself.
-Sure, I can handle myself.

965
00:53:43,470 --> 00:53:46,890
First of all, Arthur Robredo is not a hack.
He's worked his way up from the streets.

966
00:53:46,974 --> 00:53:49,142
He was a cop, an entrepreneur.

967
00:53:49,518 --> 00:53:53,104
He's a putz.
This is exactly what my book is about.

968
00:53:53,188 --> 00:53:55,064
Here. Read it. It's free.

969
00:53:56,025 --> 00:54:00,236
Beauty, ideals,
love don't mean squat anymore.

970
00:54:00,321 --> 00:54:03,114
-It's all about power and money.
-I've read every single one of your books,

971
00:54:03,198 --> 00:54:05,241
and you're completely obsessed
with power and money.

972
00:54:05,326 --> 00:54:07,827
That's because he doesn't have any.
Right, babe?

973
00:54:07,912 --> 00:54:10,413
Babe, I am about the love.

974
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:11,831
-As you know.
-Yes.

975
00:54:11,916 --> 00:54:12,957
That's why you keep me around.

976
00:54:13,042 --> 00:54:16,753
To keep that rampant,
rapacious ambition of yours in check.

977
00:54:18,339 --> 00:54:20,006
I have a thought.

978
00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:25,178
Why don't you use that newly acquired
scintilla of power and influence

979
00:54:25,262 --> 00:54:30,266
to get Summer here
to write an article about your man Robredo?

980
00:54:30,351 --> 00:54:33,561
That way Summer gets a break,
and you get the word out.

981
00:54:33,687 --> 00:54:35,688
-What do you get, Hampton?
-Yeah.

982
00:54:36,565 --> 00:54:41,069
I guess it's the love. More of the love.
Yeah, that's what I'm about.

983
00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:42,320
More love.

984
00:54:42,404 --> 00:54:44,656
-MAYA: I knew Summer would be back.
-Did you?

985
00:54:44,740 --> 00:54:46,783
You know what? At first,
I didn't want Summer to be my mom.

986
00:54:46,867 --> 00:54:49,410
But now I'm kinda liking her.
Did you ask her out on a date?

987
00:54:49,536 --> 00:54:50,536
Uh-uh.

988
00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:54,040
I wanted to, but I couldn’t
'cause she was writing the article.

989
00:55:15,479 --> 00:55:20,608
-Wow. This is pretty good.
-Will, this is really good.

990
00:55:23,070 --> 00:55:24,278
(DIALING)

991
00:55:25,990 --> 00:55:27,949
SUMMER: Are you sure
it didn't seem like a puff piece?

992
00:55:28,075 --> 00:55:30,576
No, it's perfect. It's absolutely...

993
00:55:30,661 --> 00:55:34,580
You know, there's one part, though,
that kind of bothered me.

994
00:55:35,082 --> 00:55:36,082
"William Hayes,

995
00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:41,254
"Robredo's chief speech writer,
is both intense and boyishly handsome."

996
00:55:42,089 --> 00:55:43,673
-Boyishly? I mean...
-Yeah.

997
00:55:43,757 --> 00:55:44,799
(GRUNTS)

998
00:55:44,925 --> 00:55:46,801
You know, I originally wrote,

999
00:55:46,927 --> 00:55:50,388
"William Hayes has seductive eyes
and the intriguing looks of someone

1000
00:55:50,472 --> 00:55:52,765
"whose clothes you wanna rip
from his very body,"

1001
00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:55,935
but the editor made me change it.

1002
00:55:56,020 --> 00:55:58,646
There's just no room for truth in journalism.

1003
00:55:59,857 --> 00:56:01,941
Did you always want to be a journalist?

1004
00:56:02,026 --> 00:56:06,946
No. Until I was 16, I wanted to be an actress.
I wanted to sing on Broadway.

1005
00:56:07,031 --> 00:56:08,531
Wow. Really?

1006
00:56:08,615 --> 00:56:11,409
Yeah, really. Is that hard to believe?

1007
00:56:11,493 --> 00:56:15,872
Well, aren't actresses needy and emotional
and, you know, insecure?

1008
00:56:15,956 --> 00:56:17,040
That sort of thing.

1009
00:56:17,124 --> 00:56:20,418
What are you saying? That I don't need?
That I don't have emotions?

1010
00:56:20,502 --> 00:56:22,170
-I'm an incredibly needy person.
-I'm not saying that.

1011
00:56:22,296 --> 00:56:23,588
-I'm a very needy person.
-You know what I'm saying?

1012
00:56:23,672 --> 00:56:26,299
I'm saying I would love to hear a song.

1013
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:28,801
-I'm sorry?
-Give us a song.

1014
00:56:29,803 --> 00:56:32,305
-You want me to sing you a song?
-Why not?

1015
00:56:34,141 --> 00:56:36,601
-You have a favorite?
-Yes.

1016
00:56:36,685 --> 00:56:38,227
-You do?
-Yeah.

1017
00:56:41,065 --> 00:56:42,190
Okay.

1018
00:56:42,316 --> 00:56:43,316
(CLEARING THROAT)

1019
00:56:44,902 --> 00:56:49,363
(SINGING) How glad the many millions

1020
00:56:49,490 --> 00:56:53,743
Of Timothys and Williams would be

1021
00:56:53,827 --> 00:56:56,204
-I'm a William.
-Don't interrupt.

1022
00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:58,498
To capture me

1023
00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:02,168
But you had such persistence

1024
00:57:02,252 --> 00:57:05,046
You wore down my resistance

1025
00:57:05,172 --> 00:57:06,881
I fell

1026
00:57:08,092 --> 00:57:10,009
And it was swell

1027
00:57:13,013 --> 00:57:15,348
It's not that you're attractive

1028
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:16,516
Wow.

1029
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:19,102
Will you please put it on?

1030
00:57:22,564 --> 00:57:24,774
You know, it really isn't so bad.

1031
00:57:24,858 --> 00:57:27,735
You know what the funny part is?
It's $1,000.

1032
00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:36,619
I've got a crush on you, sweetie pie

1033
00:57:36,703 --> 00:57:38,704
Frank Sinatra, Linda Ronstadt.

1034
00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:40,039
-Why?
A whole bunch of these.

1035
00:57:40,124 --> 00:57:45,253
Well, if you look on the back,
they all have one common song, which is...

1036
00:57:45,379 --> 00:57:47,880
-I've Got A Crush On You.
-Every one of them.

1037
00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:52,552
-How's it going?
-Still got a lot to do.

1038
00:57:54,096 --> 00:57:56,097
Yeah, me, too.

1039
00:57:59,726 --> 00:58:01,727
-Yeah, I'm about done.
-Yeah, me, too.

1040
00:58:01,812 --> 00:58:07,233
The world will pardon my mush

1041
00:58:07,734 --> 00:58:14,490
'Cause I've got a crush, my baby, on...

1042
00:58:41,435 --> 00:58:43,102
Was I snoring?

1043
00:58:43,687 --> 00:58:44,854
Uh-uh.

1044
00:58:50,152 --> 00:58:52,486
You know what I've never done?

1045
00:58:53,447 --> 00:58:54,614
What?

1046
00:58:55,949 --> 00:58:59,493
I've never spent the whole day in bed
with a really great guy.

1047
00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:00,995
Me, neither.

1048
00:59:02,164 --> 00:59:04,373
I'm serious.

1049
00:59:04,458 --> 00:59:07,668
I always think of something
more important to do.

1050
00:59:07,794 --> 00:59:09,670
(WHISPERS) I'm a workaholic.

1051
00:59:09,796 --> 00:59:11,005
(WILLIAM EXCLAIMS)

1052
00:59:11,131 --> 00:59:12,798
It's really bad.

1053
00:59:17,012 --> 00:59:19,847
Will you spend
the whole day in bed with me?

1054
00:59:21,225 --> 00:59:22,892
We do nothing.

1055
00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:28,147
(PHONE RINGING)

1056
00:59:29,691 --> 00:59:30,733
Oh.

1057
00:59:32,653 --> 00:59:34,654
(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

1058
00:59:39,534 --> 00:59:40,826
(ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS)

1059
00:59:40,911 --> 00:59:43,955
Hi, this is Summer. Please leave a message,
and I will call you back.

1060
00:59:44,039 --> 00:59:45,164
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)

1061
00:59:45,249 --> 00:59:46,582
This is Dr. Levenstein

1062
00:59:46,667 --> 00:59:49,377
from the Columbia Presbyterian
emergency room. We have...

1063
00:59:49,503 --> 00:59:51,587
Emergency room? Hello?

1064
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,883
-Mr. Roth has had an aortal rupture.
-What does that mean exactly?

1065
00:59:56,009 --> 00:59:58,386
Think of it like a tire blowing out
on the highway

1066
00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:00,888
after going too fast for way too long.

1067
01:00:01,014 --> 01:00:02,890
(HEART MONITOR BEEPING)

1068
01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:06,394
How's that, Mr. Roth? Are you comfortable?

1069
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:07,812
I make a living.

1070
01:00:07,896 --> 01:00:09,605
(BOTH SNIGGERING)

1071
01:00:10,399 --> 01:00:14,568
Come on, sweetheart, give me a smile.
I've waited my whole life to do that joke.

1072
01:00:16,405 --> 01:00:17,905
Poor Hampton.

1073
01:00:18,573 --> 01:00:19,615
Ow!

1074
01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:21,701
Summer's come.

1075
01:00:24,788 --> 01:00:27,498
-What's he doing here?
-Hello, Hampton.

1076
01:00:27,582 --> 01:00:28,749
Hello.

1077
01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:29,917
(CHATTERING ON PHONE)

1078
01:00:30,043 --> 01:00:31,627
(SUMMER LAUGHING)

1079
01:00:32,087 --> 01:00:34,338
One thing they've left intact.

1080
01:00:34,423 --> 01:00:36,757
No, no, no, no, no, no,
don't mention grassroots.

1081
01:00:36,883 --> 01:00:37,883
Don't mention osmosis.

1082
01:00:37,968 --> 01:00:40,219
It's killing me
that you're going out with the kid.

1083
01:00:40,304 --> 01:00:44,932
Really? It's not the booze
or the cigarettes or the sophomores?

1084
01:00:45,058 --> 01:00:47,852
-That has nothing to do with this.
-Nothing to do with it.

1085
01:00:47,936 --> 01:00:52,315
Listen, I want you to know
I've donated my organs to medical science

1086
01:00:52,399 --> 01:00:54,734
except for one, which is for you.

1087
01:00:55,610 --> 01:01:00,823
-Sweetie, that's so kind.
-No, no, not that.

1088
01:01:00,907 --> 01:01:03,242
My heart, stupid.

1089
01:01:03,327 --> 01:01:04,660
(LAUGHING)

1090
01:01:06,496 --> 01:01:09,707
Please tell me you're not in love with him.

1091
01:01:09,791 --> 01:01:11,500
I can't do that.

1092
01:01:11,918 --> 01:01:13,252
(SIGHS)

1093
01:01:15,339 --> 01:01:18,883
Can I have a cigarette?
Just a dying man's last request.

1094
01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:22,845
Not happening.
God, you're such a drama queen.

1095
01:01:22,929 --> 01:01:24,597
Nobody's dying.

1096
01:01:26,975 --> 01:01:29,894
What do you care
if I'm in love with him, huh?

1097
01:01:29,978 --> 01:01:32,021
You're the one who set us up, remember?

1098
01:01:32,105 --> 01:01:34,899
Yeah, well, I kind of figured
you'd chew him up and spit him out.

1099
01:01:34,983 --> 01:01:38,319
You're such a sweetie.
You're a sweet guy, you know that?

1100
01:01:39,363 --> 01:01:42,365
-I read the Robredo piece.
-Yeah.

1101
01:01:44,618 --> 01:01:46,702
The guy's been in New York politics
for over 20 years

1102
01:01:46,787 --> 01:01:51,374
and all you can dig up
is that his daughter had an eating disorder?

1103
01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:53,793
What are you saying, Hampton?

1104
01:01:55,379 --> 01:01:56,879
Do your job.

1105
01:01:58,298 --> 01:02:00,049
(CAR HORNS HONKING)

1106
01:02:05,347 --> 01:02:08,808
WILLIAM: I can't believe
we're finally gonna meet the President.

1107
01:02:08,892 --> 01:02:11,394
-Look at that.
-Look at it.

1108
01:02:11,478 --> 01:02:13,938
We've come a long way
from that hotel room on 8th Avenue.

1109
01:02:14,022 --> 01:02:15,439
RUSSELL: Thank you very much.

1110
01:02:15,524 --> 01:02:18,067
GARETH: I don't believe it! I don't believe it!

1111
01:02:18,151 --> 01:02:20,903
Which idiot forgot to check the menus
and the programmes?

1112
01:02:20,987 --> 01:02:23,155
There's no union seal
on the menus or the programmes.

1113
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:24,323
Are you serious?

1114
01:02:24,408 --> 01:02:25,991
The hotel workers won't let anybody
into the building.

1115
01:02:26,076 --> 01:02:27,410
The Teamsters
won't set up the satellite feed!

1116
01:02:27,494 --> 01:02:29,245
Has anyone seen Robert Klein?

1117
01:02:29,329 --> 01:02:30,746
I was with him like an hour ago.
Now he's gone.

1118
01:02:30,831 --> 01:02:32,331
I think he was completely plastered.

1119
01:02:32,416 --> 01:02:33,958
How are we supposed to know
where Robert Klein is?

1120
01:02:34,042 --> 01:02:36,460
You're not gonna believe this,
but there's a hailstorm in Chicago.

1121
01:02:36,545 --> 01:02:37,837
Who cares about Chicago?

1122
01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:39,839
We do.
The President's coming in from Chicago.

1123
01:02:39,923 --> 01:02:41,507
-Okay, okay.
-We can't worry about that right now.

1124
01:02:41,591 --> 01:02:43,551
Let me ask you a question.
How could you let this happen?

1125
01:02:43,677 --> 01:02:46,053
-What? What are you talking about?
-Why are you jumping down her throat?

1126
01:02:46,179 --> 01:02:48,139
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Guys, guys, guys, guys, hey!

1127
01:02:48,223 --> 01:02:52,059
Hey, deep breath, okay?
Look, let's just ask the hotel,

1128
01:02:52,185 --> 01:02:54,061
see if we can use the Internet connection
and find a printer.

1129
01:02:54,187 --> 01:02:55,646
-I'll call Klein’s agent.
-Great.

1130
01:02:55,730 --> 01:02:57,148
Gareth, have a drink.

1131
01:02:57,232 --> 01:02:59,733
You, I don't know who you are,
but your fly’s down.

1132
01:02:59,860 --> 01:03:02,445
Be great if you wore underwear.
I'm gonna go check the weather in Chicago.

1133
01:03:02,529 --> 01:03:06,449
MAN: Table seven's up. Six pasta. Two fish.
Get it out the door, now!

1134
01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:07,616
(COMPUTER BEEPING)

1135
01:03:07,701 --> 01:03:08,742
(SIGHS)

1136
01:03:08,869 --> 01:03:10,035
(STATIC BUZZING)

1137
01:03:10,203 --> 01:03:11,704
He may not be in your union,

1138
01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:14,331
but he still happens to be
the President of the United States.

1139
01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:15,791
Remember him? So if I was you,

1140
01:03:15,876 --> 01:03:17,793
-I'd get your men off that truck and in this...
-Gareth!

1141
01:03:17,878 --> 01:03:20,421
You can't talk to a Teamster like that!
Come on.

1142
01:03:20,547 --> 01:03:21,839
-This guy...
-Everything's gonna be fine.

1143
01:03:21,923 --> 01:03:22,965
Look, look, check it out.

1144
01:03:23,049 --> 01:03:24,425
I downloaded a copy of the union seal.

1145
01:03:24,551 --> 01:03:26,093
If you could just please
paste it onto a menu,

1146
01:03:26,219 --> 01:03:29,180
make 500 copies, use a union shop.
We're gonna be home free, here.

1147
01:03:29,264 --> 01:03:31,432
Copies? You want me to make copies?

1148
01:03:31,558 --> 01:03:33,142
(ELEVATOR DINGS)

1149
01:03:33,894 --> 01:03:36,562
Well, at some point, we all make copies.
Your time is now.

1150
01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:38,647
That's not funny, Hayes. That's very...

1151
01:03:38,732 --> 01:03:41,108
Yeah, that's real mature.
Where are you going?

1152
01:03:41,234 --> 01:03:43,402
I'm walking! Back in half an hour.

1153
01:03:43,487 --> 01:03:45,112
What a dick.

1154
01:03:45,238 --> 01:03:46,947
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1155
01:03:47,782 --> 01:03:49,325
-Yeah.
-WOMAN: (WHISPERING) William Hayes?

1156
01:03:49,409 --> 01:03:50,576
Speaking.

1157
01:03:50,660 --> 01:03:53,120
I'm watching you right now.

1158
01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:56,457
And I know all about you
and your friend Robredo.

1159
01:03:56,583 --> 01:03:59,877
In fact, I know so much,
I could bring you both down.

1160
01:03:59,961 --> 01:04:01,295
Really?

1161
01:04:02,589 --> 01:04:06,175
-Who am I speaking with?
-Why don't we meet, and you'll find out?

1162
01:04:07,177 --> 01:04:09,428
-Where are you?
-I'm close by.

1163
01:04:10,138 --> 01:04:14,642
I don't have a lot of experience with
whatever this is.

1164
01:04:15,477 --> 01:04:16,977
You're getting warm.

1165
01:04:18,813 --> 01:04:22,525
You're hot.

1166
01:04:22,609 --> 01:04:24,944
You are so hot!

1167
01:04:25,028 --> 01:04:26,654
(APRIL LAUGHING)

1168
01:04:27,531 --> 01:04:28,656
I got you!

1169
01:04:30,158 --> 01:04:31,700
I thought you were gone
through the summer.

1170
01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:34,954
No, I thought so, too,
but this crazy thing happened.

1171
01:04:35,038 --> 01:04:38,165
I mean, I was camping
on this beautiful beach in Crete

1172
01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:41,794
with all these really cool people,
and there was this guy that I liked, Paco,

1173
01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:45,214
brooding and sexy,
monosyllabic and totally my type.

1174
01:04:45,298 --> 01:04:48,175
APRIL: One night I'm dancing with Paco
and he kisses me,

1175
01:04:48,301 --> 01:04:50,844
-an incredible, deep kiss.
-WILLIAM: Spare me the details.

1176
01:04:50,971 --> 01:04:53,347
And what do I do?
-I don't know. What'd you do?

1177
01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:54,682
I start crying.

1178
01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:57,184
-I mean, tears are rolling down my cheeks...
-Of course you start crying.

1179
01:04:57,310 --> 01:05:00,729
...which he doesn't notice 'cause, of course,
his hands are all over my body,

1180
01:05:00,814 --> 01:05:03,357
which felt nice,
which made me feel even more upset,

1181
01:05:03,483 --> 01:05:05,025
'cause in a flash

1182
01:05:05,151 --> 01:05:08,779
I saw our entire relationship,
from present to future tense.

1183
01:05:08,863 --> 01:05:13,701
I mean, the incredibly hot start, with Paco
basking in my love and admiration...

1184
01:05:14,202 --> 01:05:16,287
-What are we doing here?
-I just got to pick something up.

1185
01:05:16,371 --> 01:05:17,413
Just take a second.

1186
01:05:17,497 --> 01:05:20,332
And then the inevitable moment,
and I don't know why it...

1187
01:05:20,417 --> 01:05:21,709
-Hello.
-Hi.

1188
01:05:21,835 --> 01:05:24,336
I don't know why it happens,
but it always does,

1189
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:26,672
when all that love and admiration
would start to irritate him

1190
01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:28,882
and he'd find some way to hurt me.

1191
01:05:29,509 --> 01:05:31,510
I mean, sure, after, he'd be sorry.

1192
01:05:31,595 --> 01:05:33,220
So...

1193
01:05:33,346 --> 01:05:37,182
I decided to unlock his beautiful lips
from mine,

1194
01:05:37,267 --> 01:05:39,393
remove his hand from my ass,

1195
01:05:40,270 --> 01:05:41,478
(LAUGHS)

1196
01:05:41,563 --> 01:05:45,274
-and I walked away.
-Good move.

1197
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:48,068
-I walked away, Will! From Paco!
-Good move.

1198
01:05:48,194 --> 01:05:50,654
-No one walks away from Paco!
-I like the story.

1199
01:05:50,739 --> 01:05:52,990
And it felt life-changing.

1200
01:05:53,074 --> 01:05:55,367
And I realized I had to tell someone.

1201
01:05:55,452 --> 01:05:57,453
When I realized who that person was,

1202
01:05:57,537 --> 01:05:59,538
-it was so unexpected.
-MAN: Here we are, sir.

1203
01:05:59,623 --> 01:06:01,415
It's like when something is staring you
in the face

1204
01:06:01,541 --> 01:06:04,543
and it's like you're too blind to see it.

1205
01:06:04,628 --> 01:06:05,919
What's that?

1206
01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:10,215
I have some news for you, too.

1207
01:06:15,305 --> 01:06:17,598
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why are you so upset?

1208
01:06:17,724 --> 01:06:20,684
Don't you think it's a little weird we've been
writing each other for however long

1209
01:06:20,769 --> 01:06:22,728
and somehow you neglect to tell me that,

1210
01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:27,441
A, you've fallen in love,
and, B, you've fallen in love!

1211
01:06:27,567 --> 01:06:29,109
-I told you I was dating someone.
-Dating someone.

1212
01:06:29,235 --> 01:06:31,862
You just bought
a diamond engagement ring for someone!

1213
01:06:31,946 --> 01:06:34,031
I'm sorry.
I think I was just nervous to tell you.

1214
01:06:34,115 --> 01:06:36,742
Why would you be nervous to tell me?

1215
01:06:38,453 --> 01:06:40,120
I don't know.

1216
01:06:40,622 --> 01:06:42,665
I love this girl so much.

1217
01:06:44,125 --> 01:06:46,752
I'd just really like you to be happy for me.

1218
01:06:47,962 --> 01:06:51,632
I can be happy for you.
Of course I can be happy for you.

1219
01:06:55,345 --> 01:06:56,929
MAYA: Poor April.

1220
01:06:57,013 --> 01:07:00,474
She's like the character in the story
who's always been the friend.

1221
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:03,602
Then she realized
she doesn't just want to be the friend.

1222
01:07:03,687 --> 01:07:06,647
She wants to be the girlfriend,
except it's too late.

1223
01:07:06,773 --> 01:07:08,148
What do you mean?

1224
01:07:08,274 --> 01:07:11,318
Weren't you listening?
She came home for you.

1225
01:07:17,033 --> 01:07:19,535
GARETH: There's union seals
on all the menus, my friend.

1226
01:07:19,619 --> 01:07:23,288
WILLIAM: The weather cleared in Chicago.
The President will be here by 8:00.

1227
01:07:23,373 --> 01:07:24,498
Where's Russ?

1228
01:07:24,624 --> 01:07:26,333
Gonna meet you and Arthur
in the restaurant.

1229
01:07:26,459 --> 01:07:28,043
ROBERT KLEIN:
I'm funnier over here.

1230
01:07:28,837 --> 01:07:30,003
(HARMONICA PLAYING)

1231
01:07:30,130 --> 01:07:32,297
I can't stop my leg

1232
01:07:38,638 --> 01:07:39,972
You're early.

1233
01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:45,644
(MOANING)

1234
01:07:45,729 --> 01:07:47,229
Good to see you.

1235
01:07:47,313 --> 01:07:49,148
-You look great.
-Thank you. You, too.

1236
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:52,359
-That's a nice tie.
-Well, you'd know.

1237
01:07:53,361 --> 01:07:57,448
So, the magazine asked me
to do a follow-up on Robredo.

1238
01:07:57,532 --> 01:08:00,534
-Great.
-Yeah, it is great. It's also...

1239
01:08:01,494 --> 01:08:03,162
(SIGHING) It's...

1240
01:08:04,664 --> 01:08:06,832
You just read it.

1241
01:08:06,916 --> 01:08:08,709
-You already wrote it.
-Yeah.

1242
01:08:17,886 --> 01:08:20,137
-He did this?
-Yes.

1243
01:08:20,221 --> 01:08:24,641
They actually got a friend an early parole.

1244
01:08:24,726 --> 01:08:29,396
You know what?
I think it happened such a long time ago,

1245
01:08:29,522 --> 01:08:31,398
and you're way ahead in all the polls.

1246
01:08:31,524 --> 01:08:36,153
Yeah, see, I don't think that's gonna matter,
because he's the tough-on-crime Democrat.

1247
01:08:36,237 --> 01:08:37,696
That's...

1248
01:08:38,198 --> 01:08:40,365
When people read this...

1249
01:08:42,702 --> 01:08:44,953
Summer, listen to me.

1250
01:08:45,038 --> 01:08:48,081
If you hand this in, we won't survive it.

1251
01:08:48,208 --> 01:08:50,834
I think it'll be a big deal for about a week,
and then the storm will pass...

1252
01:08:50,919 --> 01:08:53,128
I'm talking about you and me.

1253
01:08:54,631 --> 01:08:58,217
"Candidate Brought Down
by Speechwriter's GirIfriend."

1254
01:08:58,301 --> 01:09:00,886
-Come on.
-I'm just doing my job.

1255
01:09:01,930 --> 01:09:04,473
I didn't do it the first time around.

1256
01:09:04,557 --> 01:09:08,060
And if I didn't write this,
somebody else would.

1257
01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:10,229
Let them.

1258
01:09:10,730 --> 01:09:13,106
Hey, don't hand this in, okay?

1259
01:09:18,905 --> 01:09:20,739
You already did.

1260
01:09:36,798 --> 01:09:38,090
Mr. Arthur...

1261
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:39,383
(CHATTERING)

1262
01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:40,926
ARTHUR: Yeah, sure.

1263
01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:43,178
MAYA: I really liked Summer.

1264
01:09:43,263 --> 01:09:45,097
I can't believe
she turned out to be such a...

1265
01:09:45,181 --> 01:09:46,390
-Heartbreaker?
-No.

1266
01:09:46,474 --> 01:09:48,767
-Opportunist? Double-crossing...
-Uh-uh.

1267
01:09:48,852 --> 01:09:50,727
-Bitch.
-Maya.

1268
01:09:50,812 --> 01:09:52,646
How could she do that to you?

1269
01:09:52,772 --> 01:09:56,316
It's like she said. If she didn't write it,
someone else would have.

1270
01:09:56,442 --> 01:09:57,943
And it was the truth.

1271
01:09:58,027 --> 01:10:00,320
So did she? Did she break it?

1272
01:10:00,446 --> 01:10:01,780
What?

1273
01:10:07,787 --> 01:10:09,621
What happened when the article came out?

1274
01:10:25,805 --> 01:10:29,474
You screwed up, man.
You really screwed up.

1275
01:10:29,559 --> 01:10:31,268
Please save it.
I don't need to hear this right now.

1276
01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:33,604
Whenever I figure out whatever
I'm supposed to learn from all this,

1277
01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:35,981
-I'll write you a letter!
-Yeah, can't wait.

1278
01:10:36,065 --> 01:10:41,194
WILLIAM: So I lost my girl,
I lost my job, and I lost my friend.

1279
01:10:42,155 --> 01:10:45,866
And for a long time,
nothing seemed to matter.

1280
01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:48,911
But I wasn't the only one with problems.

1281
01:10:48,995 --> 01:10:53,832
I did not have
sexual relations with that woman,

1282
01:10:53,917 --> 01:10:54,958
Miss Lewinsky.

1283
01:10:55,043 --> 01:10:56,084
(PHONE RINGING)

1284
01:10:56,169 --> 01:10:57,502
I never told anybody to lie.

1285
01:10:57,670 --> 01:10:59,338
-Hello?
-Are you watching?

1286
01:10:59,422 --> 01:11:01,506
These allegations are false.

1287
01:11:01,633 --> 01:11:02,674
April?

1288
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:06,678
Yeah, April. Who'd you think it was?
Are you watching or not?

1289
01:11:06,804 --> 01:11:08,639
Of course I'm watching.

1290
01:11:09,724 --> 01:11:11,183
You think he did it, don't you?

1291
01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:15,896
I don't think, I know.
Look at the picture of her. I love her.

1292
01:11:16,022 --> 01:11:17,856
She's so his type.

1293
01:11:19,984 --> 01:11:22,986
So, what took you so long
to finally call me back there, red?

1294
01:11:23,071 --> 01:11:24,738
I thought I lost you.

1295
01:11:24,864 --> 01:11:28,867
-Feels like years.
-I'm calling you now, aren't I?

1296
01:11:29,994 --> 01:11:31,036
Yeah.

1297
01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:33,872
How are you? What's doing?

1298
01:11:33,998 --> 01:11:36,041
I got a new roommate, Olivia.

1299
01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:38,835
And I'm working at a bookstore.

1300
01:11:39,879 --> 01:11:42,172
But I've been thinking about
going back to school.

1301
01:11:42,256 --> 01:11:43,465
Cool.

1302
01:11:43,549 --> 01:11:45,258
Hey, did I tell you that I hate my job?

1303
01:11:45,385 --> 01:11:48,053
I used to love what I do,
and now I feel like a complete hack.

1304
01:11:48,888 --> 01:11:53,809
-Are you seeing anyone?
-Me? Am I... No, no. Absolutely not.

1305
01:11:53,893 --> 01:11:56,812
In fact, I haven't had sex
since Clinton was re-elected.

1306
01:11:56,896 --> 01:11:59,898
APRIL: Why bother? He's having enough sex
for the entire country.

1307
01:12:00,024 --> 01:12:01,984
WILLIAM: Easy. Easy now.

1308
01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:05,362
APRIL: Hey, maybe you should
follow his lead and seduce an intern.

1309
01:12:05,446 --> 01:12:07,739
WILLIAM: You know, it's funny
that you should mention that.

1310
01:12:07,865 --> 01:12:11,702
There's a fetching young intern
who just started a week ago.

1311
01:12:11,786 --> 01:12:13,578
APRIL: Great. Ask her out.

1312
01:12:14,288 --> 01:12:16,123
WILLIAM: I should, shouldn't I?

1313
01:12:17,083 --> 01:12:20,961
But I don't think I will.
You see, I don't want a fling.

1314
01:12:21,087 --> 01:12:23,088
I want the real deal.

1315
01:12:23,214 --> 01:12:26,425
APRIL: Forget about the real deal.
You don't find it, it finds you.

1316
01:12:26,551 --> 01:12:29,636
What does that mean?
I don't know what that means.

1317
01:12:29,762 --> 01:12:32,931
It means that you get to a certain age
and then you're ready.

1318
01:12:33,057 --> 01:12:36,268
You know, you're ready for kids
or a commitment or, you know...

1319
01:12:36,394 --> 01:12:37,769
-Sir.
-...a mortgage.

1320
01:12:37,895 --> 01:12:39,855
-Table’s ready. Okay.
-Thanks.

1321
01:12:39,939 --> 01:12:40,981
You know what I mean?

1322
01:12:41,107 --> 01:12:44,192
And the person that you're with then,
they become the one.

1323
01:12:44,277 --> 01:12:47,029
So you're saying it's not who, but it's when.

1324
01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:48,822
-Exactly.
-Okay. All right.

1325
01:12:48,948 --> 01:12:52,951
So there's never been a guy, ever,
that made you think, "This is it.

1326
01:12:53,077 --> 01:12:54,953
"This is him. This is the one."

1327
01:12:55,496 --> 01:12:56,663
No.

1328
01:12:57,457 --> 01:13:00,417
Okay, then why aren't you out there,
you know, enjoying yourself?

1329
01:13:00,501 --> 01:13:01,752
I am.

1330
01:13:01,836 --> 01:13:03,670
-You are?
-Yes.

1331
01:13:04,464 --> 01:13:06,673
Right now I'm seeing this guy, Kevin.

1332
01:13:07,341 --> 01:13:08,967
-Kevin.
-Kevin.

1333
01:13:09,093 --> 01:13:10,343
Who the hell's Kevin?

1334
01:13:10,470 --> 01:13:13,764
Where did... How come you never,
you know, mentioned anything about him?

1335
01:13:13,848 --> 01:13:15,599
I'm mentioning him now.

1336
01:13:16,642 --> 01:13:19,686
Oh, God! They have fresh mint tea.
I love fresh mint tea.

1337
01:13:19,812 --> 01:13:21,146
I love beer.

1338
01:13:21,689 --> 01:13:25,859
It depends upon
what the meaning of the word "is" is.

1339
01:13:25,985 --> 01:13:31,114
If it means "there is none"
that is a completely true statement.

1340
01:13:36,996 --> 01:13:38,038
(BEEPS)

1341
01:13:38,164 --> 01:13:39,539
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Hey, this is April.

1342
01:13:39,665 --> 01:13:42,501
I want to talk to you about your birthday.
Call me.

1343
01:13:42,835 --> 01:13:44,002
(BEEPS)

1344
01:13:44,170 --> 01:13:47,964
EMILY: Hello. I hope this is the right number.
It sounds like you.

1345
01:13:48,049 --> 01:13:49,674
It's Emily!

1346
01:13:49,801 --> 01:13:50,884
(LAUGHS)

1347
01:13:51,135 --> 01:13:53,804
I'm in New York, and I was thinking

1348
01:13:53,888 --> 01:13:57,182
maybe we could get a cup of coffee
and catch up.

1349
01:13:57,683 --> 01:13:58,892
My number...

1350
01:13:59,018 --> 01:14:00,060
(BEEPS)

1351
01:14:00,895 --> 01:14:04,815
Hey, it's April. I still need to talk to you.
Please call me back.

1352
01:14:04,899 --> 01:14:06,691
I mean, don't make me come over there
and hurt you.

1353
01:14:07,026 --> 01:14:08,693
(DOORBELL BUZZING)

1354
01:14:09,654 --> 01:14:12,155
Okay, I'm coming!

1355
01:14:13,157 --> 01:14:14,991
God, I'm coming.

1356
01:14:16,035 --> 01:14:17,702
Yeah, I get it.

1357
01:14:21,207 --> 01:14:23,208
What are you doing in there?

1358
01:14:23,918 --> 01:14:26,086
-Is this what you're wearing?
-What?

1359
01:14:26,212 --> 01:14:29,506
It's your birthday party.
Everybody is waiting for you.

1360
01:14:29,590 --> 01:14:31,091
Oh, Christ.

1361
01:14:31,217 --> 01:14:33,343
Five minutes, okay? Five...

1362
01:14:33,427 --> 01:14:34,719
(CRASHING)

1363
01:14:35,888 --> 01:14:37,764
-WILLIAM: I'm down.
-Are you okay?

1364
01:14:37,890 --> 01:14:40,559
Yeah. I just need to lie here for a sec.

1365
01:14:40,893 --> 01:14:41,977
(GROANS)

1366
01:14:42,061 --> 01:14:44,396
I see you've been eating noodles.

1367
01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:49,943
MAN: Hey, everybody, he's here!

1368
01:14:50,069 --> 01:14:51,695
(ALL CHEERING)

1369
01:14:55,575 --> 01:14:56,700
Thanks.

1370
01:14:57,910 --> 01:14:59,035
Hi.

1371
01:15:01,956 --> 01:15:04,916
Oh, my God! I didn't think you'd be here!

1372
01:15:05,042 --> 01:15:07,294
I couldn’t miss your birthday.
We came all the way up from Washington.

1373
01:15:07,420 --> 01:15:09,087
Happy birthday, gorgeous.

1374
01:15:09,755 --> 01:15:11,923
That is a beautiful woman right there.

1375
01:15:12,049 --> 01:15:13,633
You had your chance, pal.

1376
01:15:13,759 --> 01:15:15,093
RUSSELL: Hayes.

1377
01:15:20,433 --> 01:15:21,766
Come on.

1378
01:15:21,893 --> 01:15:22,976
(RUSSELL LAUGHING)

1379
01:15:24,645 --> 01:15:28,064
-It's great to see you.
-Yeah. You look...

1380
01:15:28,149 --> 01:15:29,649
Homeless, I know.

1381
01:15:30,818 --> 01:15:33,153
-Where's Kelly?
-She's right over there.

1382
01:15:33,279 --> 01:15:36,072
It's her first night out
since the baby was born.

1383
01:15:37,283 --> 01:15:38,617
Congratulations.

1384
01:15:40,119 --> 01:15:43,872
Iran-Contra. Arms for oil, no problem.

1385
01:15:43,956 --> 01:15:47,626
But a little "oralness"
and you're headed for impeachment.

1386
01:15:48,628 --> 01:15:51,296
-No politics!
-Maybe he should be impeached.

1387
01:15:51,422 --> 01:15:53,965
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! Did he say that?

1388
01:15:54,091 --> 01:15:57,010
-Why not? I put my faith in him. We all did.
-You love him.

1389
01:15:57,136 --> 01:15:58,720
I thought he was gonna be different
than the other jokers,

1390
01:15:58,804 --> 01:16:01,598
but this guy,
he can't even define the word "is."

1391
01:16:02,516 --> 01:16:06,186
What happens if they give him
one of the hard words, like "truth"?

1392
01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:09,314
-I'd vote for him again.
-In a heartbeat.

1393
01:16:13,361 --> 01:16:14,527
Will's a lot of fun.

1394
01:16:14,654 --> 01:16:16,529
Yeah, let's fill up the tub
and drop in a toaster.

1395
01:16:16,656 --> 01:16:18,448
That should be a good time.

1396
01:16:20,826 --> 01:16:21,868
(ALL SINGING)

1397
01:16:21,994 --> 01:16:31,670
Happy birthday to you

1398
01:16:31,796 --> 01:16:35,507
Happy birthday, dear Will

1399
01:16:35,633 --> 01:16:39,844
-Where is he? Where's Will?
-I don't know. I was just talking to him.

1400
01:16:57,530 --> 01:16:58,989
You missed your birthday cake.

1401
01:16:59,073 --> 01:17:00,198
Uh-oh.

1402
01:17:00,533 --> 01:17:03,034
And I baked it.
-You baked it.

1403
01:17:05,705 --> 01:17:07,539
Do you remember that song?

1404
01:17:07,665 --> 01:17:09,374
In your apartment?

1405
01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:13,545
Come as you are, as a friend

1406
01:17:13,671 --> 01:17:15,922
As a known enemy

1407
01:17:16,048 --> 01:17:19,884
-"Memory," not "enemy."
-I know, I know, I know.

1408
01:17:20,678 --> 01:17:24,222
-Somebody had too much to drink.
-No, I didn't.

1409
01:17:24,348 --> 01:17:26,057
I didn't, I didn't. I didn't.

1410
01:17:26,183 --> 01:17:27,684
-Yes, you did.
-I did.

1411
01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:37,235
-God, you're beautiful.
-Thank you.

1412
01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:42,532
What?

1413
01:17:44,410 --> 01:17:45,452
The thing is...

1414
01:17:45,578 --> 01:17:46,745
(CLEARS THROAT)

1415
01:17:46,871 --> 01:17:48,705
The thing is...

1416
01:17:49,915 --> 01:17:51,916
Is that I like you.

1417
01:17:54,879 --> 01:17:56,713
I've always liked you.

1418
01:17:59,717 --> 01:18:01,051
"Like."

1419
01:18:01,927 --> 01:18:04,429
That's pathetic. It's so puny.

1420
01:18:06,932 --> 01:18:08,516
"Love" on the other hand...

1421
01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:11,269
You'd run away from a word like that.

1422
01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:15,440
I love you.

1423
01:18:19,153 --> 01:18:21,279
I'm in love with you, April.

1424
01:18:29,246 --> 01:18:32,791
-Why didn't you ever tell me?
-Come on.

1425
01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:37,170
You know exactly why I never told you.
You'd never be interested in me.

1426
01:18:37,797 --> 01:18:39,339
You're an idiot.

1427
01:18:48,808 --> 01:18:50,266
-Stop.
-What?

1428
01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:53,144
-Not like this.
-Like what?

1429
01:18:53,270 --> 01:18:55,563
Look at you, Will, you're a mess.

1430
01:18:55,648 --> 01:18:58,691
Why couldn’t you have told me
when you had your shit together?

1431
01:18:58,818 --> 01:19:01,653
-My shit is together.
-Your shit is a mess.

1432
01:19:02,988 --> 01:19:04,614
You're a mess.

1433
01:19:07,326 --> 01:19:09,160
My shit is a mess?

1434
01:19:10,329 --> 01:19:13,164
That's interesting, coming from you, April.

1435
01:19:15,209 --> 01:19:20,338
You could do anything on earth,
and you work in a bookstore.

1436
01:19:20,464 --> 01:19:22,382
What's that all about?

1437
01:19:23,467 --> 01:19:26,177
At least I tried. I went out there and I tried.

1438
01:19:27,555 --> 01:19:31,683
Look, I'm just saying this as a friend,
and I swear, it's just as a friend,

1439
01:19:32,184 --> 01:19:35,603
but maybe you should go out there
and, you know, get some help.

1440
01:19:35,688 --> 01:19:37,772
Go to rehab or life rehab
or something like that.

1441
01:19:37,857 --> 01:19:40,483
I don't even know if they have
that sort of thing, but if they did...

1442
01:19:40,568 --> 01:19:41,609
Okay.

1443
01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:43,236
...you know, you could be
a prime candidate for that.

1444
01:19:43,362 --> 01:19:45,697
-I should go to "life rehab"?
-Yeah.

1445
01:19:49,535 --> 01:19:51,411
Get off my front porch!

1446
01:19:53,038 --> 01:19:54,205
April?

1447
01:20:06,677 --> 01:20:07,886
(BOTTLE SHATTERS)

1448
01:20:18,230 --> 01:20:19,564
You're right.

1449
01:20:22,234 --> 01:20:24,986
It is complicated, isn't it?

1450
01:20:25,070 --> 01:20:29,532
I mean, you're in love with April,
who used to be in love with Lucas,

1451
01:20:29,617 --> 01:20:32,202
and then she fell in love with you,
but you were in love with Summer,

1452
01:20:32,286 --> 01:20:34,954
who was always really in love with Hampton.

1453
01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:38,708
And now that you're in love with April,
she's in love with Kevin.

1454
01:20:39,585 --> 01:20:41,753
And no one's in love with you.

1455
01:20:42,755 --> 01:20:44,631
That's complicated.

1456
01:20:46,050 --> 01:20:47,217
Yep.

1457
01:20:48,260 --> 01:20:49,969
Then what happened?

1458
01:20:50,554 --> 01:20:52,222
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

1459
01:21:09,907 --> 01:21:12,909
MAN: Jane Eyre, Random House, 1943.

1460
01:21:12,993 --> 01:21:17,163
It's a beautiful edition,
known for the cover illustration.

1461
01:21:17,289 --> 01:21:21,417
But there's a really nice dedication inside,
with a quote from the book.

1462
01:21:21,502 --> 01:21:25,463
"To my darling daughter, April.
'The human heart has hidden treasures

1463
01:21:25,589 --> 01:21:28,174
-"'In secret kept, in silence sealed..."'
-WILLIAM: "'In silence sealed

1464
01:21:28,300 --> 01:21:30,677
"'The thoughts, the hopes
the dreams, the pleasures

1465
01:21:30,803 --> 01:21:33,471
"'Whose charms were broken if revealed'

1466
01:21:34,265 --> 01:21:36,266
"From your loving father."

1467
01:21:46,610 --> 01:21:48,611
-Hi, Olivia.
-Hi, Will.

1468
01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:50,613
-How you been?
-Good.

1469
01:21:50,698 --> 01:21:53,157
I haven't heard any of your long
sorry messages in a while.

1470
01:21:53,284 --> 01:21:56,119
Those were delightful, weren't they?
Sorry about that.

1471
01:21:56,203 --> 01:21:58,121
-April here?
-No, she's at school.

1472
01:21:58,205 --> 01:22:00,123
-School?
-Yeah.

1473
01:22:00,207 --> 01:22:04,210
-She started grad school at NYU.
-Great. Wow.

1474
01:22:04,336 --> 01:22:07,380
-If you want to wait, she'll be home soon.
-I'd love to.

1475
01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:11,301
Make yourself comfortable.
I have to finish this application I'm writing.

1476
01:22:11,385 --> 01:22:13,177
-Good luck.
-Thanks.

1477
01:22:17,391 --> 01:22:18,641
(SIGHS)

1478
01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:38,202
Hey.

1479
01:22:38,871 --> 01:22:40,204
How you doing?

1480
01:22:41,874 --> 01:22:43,041
Kevin.

1481
01:22:45,044 --> 01:22:46,377
Will Hayes.

1482
01:22:47,504 --> 01:22:50,214
I'm just waiting for April.

1483
01:22:52,217 --> 01:22:54,594
Are you the same Kevin
that she mentioned a while back?

1484
01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:55,803
(PHONE RINGING)

1485
01:22:55,888 --> 01:22:58,681
I hope so. Unless she's collecting Kevins.

1486
01:22:58,766 --> 01:23:00,892
OLIVIA: Kevin, phone!

1487
01:23:01,018 --> 01:23:05,021
Anyway, I'm pretty sure I am the only Kevin
who's actually living with her.

1488
01:23:44,144 --> 01:23:46,145
Do you know what you want yet?

1489
01:23:46,980 --> 01:23:48,898
-No.
-WAITRESS: No?

1490
01:23:54,613 --> 01:23:56,239
Will?

1491
01:23:56,657 --> 01:23:58,408
William Hayes?

1492
01:23:58,492 --> 01:24:00,410
God.

1493
01:24:00,494 --> 01:24:02,286
-It is!
-Summer.

1494
01:24:03,080 --> 01:24:04,789
You look beautiful.

1495
01:24:05,624 --> 01:24:08,793
Believe it or not,
I've been meaning to call you.

1496
01:24:10,462 --> 01:24:13,005
-I'm pregnant.
-You're what?

1497
01:24:13,132 --> 01:24:14,632
-Really?
-Can you believe it?

1498
01:24:14,758 --> 01:24:17,093
-Please, sit. Congratulations.
-Thanks. Thanks.

1499
01:24:17,177 --> 01:24:18,302
Who's the lucky guy?

1500
01:24:18,429 --> 01:24:20,096
-Sam Knowles.
-Okay.

1501
01:24:20,180 --> 01:24:22,265
But he's basically out of the picture.

1502
01:24:22,349 --> 01:24:24,350
-He didn't make the cut, huh?
-Yeah.

1503
01:24:24,476 --> 01:24:29,647
Well, I don't need a guy. I never really did.

1504
01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:32,024
You were about the closest I ever got.

1505
01:24:32,151 --> 01:24:36,195
No, really, when I was with you,
I thought, "This is it."

1506
01:24:36,321 --> 01:24:37,572
But I screwed it up.

1507
01:24:37,656 --> 01:24:40,491
-No, you didn't.
-I did. I so did.

1508
01:24:41,118 --> 01:24:42,577
Listen,

1509
01:24:42,661 --> 01:24:46,622
I'm having a little party Sunday.

1510
01:24:47,374 --> 01:24:49,500
-I want you to come.
-Oh, boy.

1511
01:24:50,169 --> 01:24:51,878
4:00. No excuses.

1512
01:24:52,004 --> 01:24:53,045
(SIGHING)

1513
01:24:54,006 --> 01:24:56,799
Will you come? Please?

1514
01:24:56,884 --> 01:24:58,885
You know, I'll see if I can make it.

1515
01:24:59,011 --> 01:25:01,679
-I really want you to.
-I'll make it.

1516
01:25:01,805 --> 01:25:04,182
I want to make amends
with anyone I ever hurt.

1517
01:25:04,308 --> 01:25:07,769
And I figure it'll take about nine months,

1518
01:25:07,853 --> 01:25:09,687
which is perfect timing.

1519
01:25:11,356 --> 01:25:13,357
-And she's off. Bye.
-Bye-bye.

1520
01:25:15,819 --> 01:25:17,111
William Hayes.

1521
01:25:17,196 --> 01:25:20,239
-Dad, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
-WILLIAM: What?

1522
01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:24,076
Telling me this story,
this mystery love story.

1523
01:25:25,370 --> 01:25:28,748
-What if I don't like who my mom is?
-Of course you'll like who your mom is.

1524
01:25:28,874 --> 01:25:31,459
And you don't have to wait long to find out,
because that very night...

1525
01:25:31,543 --> 01:25:34,420
It's Summer, isn't it?
And you're not my father.

1526
01:25:34,546 --> 01:25:36,255
No wonder you didn't want to be with her.

1527
01:25:36,381 --> 01:25:39,675
Take it easy, Maya. It's just a story.

1528
01:25:41,094 --> 01:25:43,805
And this one has a happy ending.

1529
01:25:43,889 --> 01:25:46,265
How does it have a happy ending?

1530
01:25:46,391 --> 01:25:50,728
You and my mom, whoever she is,
you're getting divorced.

1531
01:25:51,730 --> 01:25:54,065
What's the happy in that?

1532
01:25:58,529 --> 01:26:00,446
Okay, you know what?
I think we should stop now.

1533
01:26:00,572 --> 01:26:01,864
No!

1534
01:26:04,743 --> 01:26:06,869
Then how about a nice cup of tea?

1535
01:26:07,412 --> 01:26:10,748
If you want, I'll still continue with the story.
Does that sound good?

1536
01:26:10,874 --> 01:26:12,792
-Maya?
-Okay.

1537
01:26:19,216 --> 01:26:20,716
Dad?

1538
01:26:22,553 --> 01:26:27,640
I can't believe you smoked
and drank and were such a slut.

1539
01:26:30,644 --> 01:26:32,478
But I still love you.

1540
01:26:37,734 --> 01:26:38,901
(SIGHS)

1541
01:26:39,903 --> 01:26:41,571
(KETTLE WHISTLING)

1542
01:27:35,709 --> 01:27:37,043
Thanks.

1543
01:27:37,169 --> 01:27:39,337
All right. All right.

1544
01:27:39,463 --> 01:27:42,506
No, no. Don't eat it yet!
Not till we get to our bench.

1545
01:27:43,342 --> 01:27:44,842
You're in a good mood.

1546
01:27:44,968 --> 01:27:48,930
Well, I think I discovered
who my mom is in the story.

1547
01:27:49,014 --> 01:27:51,015
-Really?
-Really.

1548
01:27:51,975 --> 01:27:54,226
-Well, who is it?
-Not telling.

1549
01:27:56,021 --> 01:27:58,272
So the last time we saw William Hayes,

1550
01:27:58,357 --> 01:28:01,943
he had just discovered that
the woman he truly loved, April Hoffman,

1551
01:28:02,027 --> 01:28:03,110
was in love with another man.

1552
01:28:03,195 --> 01:28:04,278
(WILLIAM GASPS)

1553
01:28:04,363 --> 01:28:06,489
I know. Shocking.

1554
01:28:07,407 --> 01:28:09,450
Meanwhile, he accepted an invitation

1555
01:28:09,534 --> 01:28:12,495
to the home of his ex-girlfriend,
Summer Hartley,

1556
01:28:12,579 --> 01:28:16,540
who, if she does turn out to be my mother,
I'm running away to Canada.

1557
01:28:16,667 --> 01:28:18,334
I'm not kidding.

1558
01:28:26,009 --> 01:28:28,427
-He died last year.
-Yeah.

1559
01:28:28,553 --> 01:28:31,138
-You heard?
-I read about it in The Times.

1560
01:28:31,223 --> 01:28:32,723
-Yeah.
-Yeah.

1561
01:28:33,016 --> 01:28:35,393
-God. Died in his office. Heart attack?
-Yeah.

1562
01:28:35,519 --> 01:28:39,522
I always imagined
that he'd make a more theatrical exit.

1563
01:28:39,606 --> 01:28:43,109
What they didn't say was he was
on the couch with the dean's daughter.

1564
01:28:43,235 --> 01:28:45,027
-Jesus.
-I'm kidding.

1565
01:28:45,946 --> 01:28:51,409
Actually, he was completely alone and
it was hours before the janitor found him.

1566
01:28:52,369 --> 01:28:54,954
-You want a drink?
-I'm sorry.

1567
01:28:55,080 --> 01:28:57,748
-You must miss him.
-I do, yeah.

1568
01:28:58,709 --> 01:28:59,792
These are for you.

1569
01:28:59,918 --> 01:29:02,294
-Oh, Will.
-Yeah.

1570
01:29:04,423 --> 01:29:06,257
They're beautiful.

1571
01:29:08,385 --> 01:29:09,760
So are you.

1572
01:29:11,972 --> 01:29:13,931
-Summer.
-Will.

1573
01:29:14,057 --> 01:29:15,766
Don't mess with me.

1574
01:29:15,892 --> 01:29:17,143
I can see where you're going with this.

1575
01:29:17,269 --> 01:29:20,229
In a second, you're gonna
say something impossibly charming.

1576
01:29:20,313 --> 01:29:22,231
-Really?
-Yeah. It's gonna be great.

1577
01:29:22,315 --> 01:29:25,484
And then you're gonna sweep me off my feet
and we all know where that's going.

1578
01:29:25,610 --> 01:29:27,820
-Can't a girl miss a guy?
-And you know that's gonna end badly.

1579
01:29:27,946 --> 01:29:29,155
Yeah, she can,

1580
01:29:29,823 --> 01:29:32,450
but I just don't really have time for the pain.

1581
01:29:32,576 --> 01:29:36,495
-So let's just skip all that, why don't we?
-Okay.

1582
01:29:37,414 --> 01:29:38,748
Fair enough.

1583
01:29:39,624 --> 01:29:40,958
Can we be friends?

1584
01:29:41,084 --> 01:29:43,002
-Yeah! Yeah.
-Yeah.

1585
01:29:43,128 --> 01:29:45,755
-Shake on it? Okay.
-Let's do that. All right.

1586
01:29:48,675 --> 01:29:50,468
You know what?

1587
01:29:52,763 --> 01:29:55,139
There's someone here I want you to meet.

1588
01:29:56,266 --> 01:29:58,726
Yeah. Come with me.

1589
01:29:58,810 --> 01:30:00,102
They're an old flame of mine,

1590
01:30:00,187 --> 01:30:04,440
and I think you guys are really gonna,
you know, hit it off.

1591
01:30:08,278 --> 01:30:09,445
Emily.

1592
01:30:12,115 --> 01:30:14,200
I'm gonna put these in some water.

1593
01:30:17,537 --> 01:30:18,871
-You look...
-You look...

1594
01:30:19,706 --> 01:30:20,790
(EMILY CHUCKLING)

1595
01:30:20,874 --> 01:30:22,208
You look great.

1596
01:30:23,543 --> 01:30:26,712
-Why are you in New York?
-I live here.

1597
01:30:26,838 --> 01:30:30,257
I took a job
with the city education department.

1598
01:30:30,342 --> 01:30:32,802
-I called you.
-I know.

1599
01:30:32,886 --> 01:30:35,387
-I've been meaning to call you back.
-Liar.

1600
01:30:36,223 --> 01:30:37,890
-I had lost your number.
-Of course.

1601
01:30:38,016 --> 01:30:40,392
-No, it's true. You know what?
-Will...

1602
01:30:40,519 --> 01:30:42,353
Okay, give me your number, right now.

1603
01:30:42,479 --> 01:30:46,398
I'm gonna put it in my cell phone,
and that way I'm never gonna lose it, okay?

1604
01:30:47,984 --> 01:30:53,239
My number is 212-664-7665.

1605
01:30:53,365 --> 01:30:56,367
Six, six, five. See? Now I got it.
And I'm never gonna lose it again.

1606
01:30:56,493 --> 01:30:58,244
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1607
01:30:59,371 --> 01:31:01,539
-Oh, no, go ahead, go ahead.
-Sorry.

1608
01:31:01,665 --> 01:31:03,249
-Hello.
-Hey, it's Will.

1609
01:31:04,417 --> 01:31:07,211
I'm really sorry I lost your number.

1610
01:31:08,421 --> 01:31:12,133
WILLIAM: I just had the weirdest flash
of a whole life,

1611
01:31:12,217 --> 01:31:14,552
one that never, ever happened.

1612
01:31:17,514 --> 01:31:19,515
What did happen to us?

1613
01:31:19,599 --> 01:31:21,600
-You slept with my roommate.
-Oh!

1614
01:31:22,853 --> 01:31:24,145
I'm sorry.

1615
01:31:24,229 --> 01:31:26,981
If I remember correctly,
I believe it was my "plan," wasn't it?

1616
01:31:27,065 --> 01:31:28,816
-The plan. Remember that?
-Yes, the plan.

1617
01:31:28,900 --> 01:31:29,984
Who talks like that?

1618
01:31:30,068 --> 01:31:35,364
No, it wasn't the plan.
I was scared of you and your dreams,

1619
01:31:36,867 --> 01:31:39,869
and then after we broke up, I just felt lost.

1620
01:31:41,037 --> 01:31:45,916
I still feel pretty lost,
especially when it comes to relationships.

1621
01:31:47,085 --> 01:31:48,252
Yeah.

1622
01:31:49,254 --> 01:31:51,755
Yeah, I've been... Me, too.

1623
01:31:58,221 --> 01:32:00,931
Did you ever think

1624
01:32:01,558 --> 01:32:04,977
that maybe we just needed a different plan?

1625
01:32:05,937 --> 01:32:08,856
MAYA: Wait! Stop! Stop right there.
Now, go back.

1626
01:32:08,940 --> 01:32:10,024
(REWINDING)

1627
01:32:10,108 --> 01:32:12,818
Okay, stop. Now go forward, slowly.

1628
01:32:13,653 --> 01:32:15,196
Now here it comes.

1629
01:32:15,280 --> 01:32:16,906
There! Right there!

1630
01:32:17,407 --> 01:32:19,617
That's it! That's how I figured it out!

1631
01:32:19,743 --> 01:32:21,452
That's what Mom does when I'm upset.

1632
01:32:21,536 --> 01:32:24,121
She fluffs up my hair
and tells me to be brilliant

1633
01:32:24,206 --> 01:32:27,124
or shine like the sun,
and it always makes me feel better.

1634
01:32:27,209 --> 01:32:29,460
-Sounds like a great mom.
-She is a great mom.

1635
01:32:29,544 --> 01:32:36,050
So you're absolutely positive,
100%, that Emily is the very same woman

1636
01:32:36,384 --> 01:32:38,636
walking toward us right now?

1637
01:32:40,013 --> 01:32:41,472
Absolutely.

1638
01:32:41,848 --> 01:32:43,057
Is it?

1639
01:32:45,143 --> 01:32:47,394
-Mom! Mom!
-Hey!

1640
01:32:51,066 --> 01:32:52,566
MAYA: I'm so glad it's you.

1641
01:32:52,651 --> 01:32:55,194
-Well, who else would it be?
-Nobody.

1642
01:32:56,154 --> 01:32:58,489
-Good morning, Will.
-Hey, Sarah.

1643
01:32:59,491 --> 01:33:01,909
Mom, can Dad come with us to the zoo?

1644
01:33:01,993 --> 01:33:04,161
Yeah, if Dad wants to come, sure.

1645
01:33:05,830 --> 01:33:08,666
You know, I love the zoo.
Let's go to the zoo.

1646
01:33:10,377 --> 01:33:11,752
-Guess what, Mom?
-EMILY: What?

1647
01:33:11,836 --> 01:33:14,505
We learned all about sexual intercourse
at school yesterday.

1648
01:33:14,589 --> 01:33:16,423
-Really?
-Really.

1649
01:33:16,591 --> 01:33:17,675
Really.

1650
01:33:21,388 --> 01:33:23,055
(PENGUINS CALLING)

1651
01:33:29,854 --> 01:33:31,355
I love penguins.

1652
01:33:32,357 --> 01:33:33,607
Me, too.

1653
01:33:33,692 --> 01:33:34,858
Me, three.

1654
01:33:45,203 --> 01:33:47,997
Did you know that penguins mate for life?

1655
01:33:48,081 --> 01:33:50,165
Although, Mr. Monell told us

1656
01:33:50,250 --> 01:33:52,626
that sometimes the husband
and wife penguins get separated

1657
01:33:52,711 --> 01:33:54,378
'cause of their migraine patterns.

1658
01:33:54,462 --> 01:33:55,754
-Migratory.
-Migratory.

1659
01:33:56,548 --> 01:34:01,051
Well, sometimes they're apart for years,
but they almost always find each other.

1660
01:34:05,557 --> 01:34:07,141
Do you know
what the husband and wife penguins do

1661
01:34:07,225 --> 01:34:09,935
after they find each other after all that time?

1662
01:34:11,146 --> 01:34:12,896
Throw back their heads,

1663
01:34:12,981 --> 01:34:16,191
flap their flippers
and sing as loud as they can!

1664
01:34:16,276 --> 01:34:18,277
(IMITATING PENGUIN CALLS)

1665
01:34:28,079 --> 01:34:29,955
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

1666
01:35:01,780 --> 01:35:04,615
Okay. All right, munchkin. Let's go!

1667
01:35:08,661 --> 01:35:12,289
Hey, monster, that was fun today.
I'll see you on Wednesday, okay?

1668
01:35:12,665 --> 01:35:14,291
(BELLS RINGING)

1669
01:35:16,294 --> 01:35:17,836
See you later.

1670
01:35:20,840 --> 01:35:22,174
Dad!

1671
01:35:29,140 --> 01:35:32,226
-Thanks for telling me the story.
-You're welcome.

1672
01:35:33,812 --> 01:35:37,815
-I forgot to tell you the happy ending.
-What is it?

1673
01:35:38,983 --> 01:35:40,317
You.

1674
01:35:42,487 --> 01:35:43,695
(SOBBING)

1675
01:35:50,703 --> 01:35:53,288
-Hey, I love you.
-I love you, too.

1676
01:35:53,373 --> 01:35:56,375
Go catch up to your mom, okay?
All right, bye.

1677
01:35:58,670 --> 01:35:59,837
Are you all right?

1678
01:35:59,921 --> 01:36:01,088
Yeah?

1679
01:36:01,589 --> 01:36:02,673
(SNIFFS)

1680
01:36:19,566 --> 01:36:22,025
Mr. President! Hey, Mr. President!

1681
01:36:22,110 --> 01:36:25,112
Will Hayes, I worked on the '92 campaign.

1682
01:36:44,507 --> 01:36:45,757
(EXHALES)

1683
01:37:53,409 --> 01:37:55,744
Hi. I'm looking for April.

1684
01:38:05,797 --> 01:38:08,257
Check that they have
legal representation, okay?

1685
01:38:08,341 --> 01:38:09,883
-Right.
-Thanks, John.

1686
01:38:15,098 --> 01:38:16,431
(LAUGHING)

1687
01:38:18,518 --> 01:38:19,560
I can't believe you're doing this.

1688
01:38:19,644 --> 01:38:20,769
-This is great.
-Thanks.

1689
01:38:20,853 --> 01:38:22,187
-Still smoking?
-I quit.

1690
01:38:22,272 --> 01:38:25,857
-Me, too. Still live in the same loft?
-Living in Brooklyn.

1691
01:38:25,942 --> 01:38:27,859
AIways on the cutting edge.

1692
01:38:27,944 --> 01:38:30,821
-Dating?
-Not at present. You?

1693
01:38:31,656 --> 01:38:33,824
-(WHISPERS) I got divorced.
-I know.

1694
01:38:33,908 --> 01:38:35,742
I heard. I'm so sorry.

1695
01:38:35,827 --> 01:38:37,452
Why?

1696
01:38:37,537 --> 01:38:39,204
You always said marriage was overrated.

1697
01:38:39,289 --> 01:38:42,541
Yeah, and you never listened to me.
You were always with the rings.

1698
01:38:42,625 --> 01:38:45,919
-Is that why you and Kevin never...
-Oh, God, Kevin. No. Kevin...

1699
01:38:46,963 --> 01:38:48,839
Something always seemed
to be missing with Kevin.

1700
01:38:48,923 --> 01:38:50,882
I don't know.

1701
01:38:50,967 --> 01:38:55,387
It's weird. It was never quite right.
You know?

1702
01:38:55,471 --> 01:38:56,638
Yeah.

1703
01:38:57,890 --> 01:39:00,601
-It's good to see you.
-You, too.

1704
01:39:03,771 --> 01:39:05,856
I have something for you.

1705
01:39:09,736 --> 01:39:11,320
(EXCLAIMING)

1706
01:39:44,729 --> 01:39:46,271
(APRIL CRYING)

1707
01:39:47,940 --> 01:39:49,775
Thank you so much.

1708
01:39:51,110 --> 01:39:53,945
How did you find it?
I mean, where did you find it?

1709
01:39:55,657 --> 01:39:58,283
That's the difficult part to explain.

1710
01:40:00,620 --> 01:40:02,329
This is gonna sound bad.

1711
01:40:03,498 --> 01:40:05,540
I've had it for a while.

1712
01:40:06,501 --> 01:40:07,834
How long?

1713
01:40:08,795 --> 01:40:10,128
Years.

1714
01:40:11,130 --> 01:40:12,631
Many years.

1715
01:40:13,466 --> 01:40:15,425
I meant to...

1716
01:40:15,510 --> 01:40:17,552
I meant to give it to you.
I wanted to give it to you.

1717
01:40:17,637 --> 01:40:19,179
I just...

1718
01:40:19,639 --> 01:40:22,599
I couldn’t. And I don't know why.

1719
01:40:23,935 --> 01:40:27,979
I dropped it off once. I mean, I tried.
Kevin was there and...

1720
01:40:28,064 --> 01:40:31,650
Hey, there is no excuse, and I'm sorry.

1721
01:40:32,985 --> 01:40:34,695
It's inexcusable.

1722
01:40:38,991 --> 01:40:41,702
-I think you should go, Will.
-April?

1723
01:40:42,870 --> 01:40:44,788
I think you should go.

1724
01:40:59,011 --> 01:41:02,305
You never gave it to her? After all that time?

1725
01:41:02,390 --> 01:41:04,307
-WILLIAM: I know. I know.
-But it was from her dad.

1726
01:41:04,392 --> 01:41:06,601
I know. I know.

1727
01:41:06,686 --> 01:41:08,603
And then you just left?

1728
01:41:09,731 --> 01:41:11,064
Yep.

1729
01:41:12,567 --> 01:41:15,777
How come you changed all the names
except hers?

1730
01:41:15,862 --> 01:41:16,945
What do you mean?

1731
01:41:17,029 --> 01:41:19,906
In the story, you know,
like Mom became Emily,

1732
01:41:19,991 --> 01:41:23,702
and Summer's that Natasha lady
who writes for that magazine.

1733
01:41:23,786 --> 01:41:26,538
But you didn't change April’s name. Why?

1734
01:41:29,542 --> 01:41:33,670
Why are you so concerned
with all of this anyway?

1735
01:41:33,880 --> 01:41:36,214
Because I want you to be happy.

1736
01:41:36,507 --> 01:41:37,841
You know,

1737
01:41:38,885 --> 01:41:40,552
I'm happy.

1738
01:41:41,554 --> 01:41:44,055
Trust me, Dad. You're not happy.

1739
01:41:57,904 --> 01:41:59,571
Put your coat on.

1740
01:42:04,911 --> 01:42:06,411
-Taxi!
-Taxi!

1741
01:42:13,211 --> 01:42:15,003
MAYA: She said something was missing
with Kevin,

1742
01:42:15,087 --> 01:42:17,714
which means
it might not be missing with you,

1743
01:42:17,799 --> 01:42:20,550
-which is good news, right?
-CouId be.

1744
01:42:21,511 --> 01:42:22,803
CouId be.

1745
01:42:24,305 --> 01:42:28,141
Did you know that 35 people try
to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge each year?

1746
01:42:28,226 --> 01:42:30,435
Most because of broken hearts.

1747
01:42:31,354 --> 01:42:32,979
I'll keep that in mind.

1748
01:42:46,577 --> 01:42:47,828
(BUZZING)

1749
01:42:50,957 --> 01:42:53,959
-APRIL: Hello.
-Hey. Hi.

1750
01:42:54,043 --> 01:42:55,168
It's me, Will.

1751
01:42:55,253 --> 01:42:56,336
(GASPS)

1752
01:42:57,630 --> 01:42:58,797
April?

1753
01:43:05,096 --> 01:43:06,930
What are you doing here?

1754
01:43:08,224 --> 01:43:09,307
WILLIAM: Uh...

1755
01:43:09,392 --> 01:43:11,184
MAYA: Go on, tell her.

1756
01:43:12,186 --> 01:43:13,687
Who's that?

1757
01:43:13,771 --> 01:43:16,857
That would be my daughter, Maya.

1758
01:43:16,941 --> 01:43:19,234
That's kind of cheating, isn't it?
Bringing your daughter?

1759
01:43:19,318 --> 01:43:21,194
What am I supposed to do now?

1760
01:43:22,572 --> 01:43:24,573
Well, you could let us in.

1761
01:43:27,493 --> 01:43:30,161
I don't think she's gonna let us in.

1762
01:43:30,663 --> 01:43:31,913
(EXHALES)

1763
01:43:32,081 --> 01:43:33,623
I think you're wrong.

1764
01:43:34,876 --> 01:43:36,376
Come on, let's go. Let's go.

1765
01:43:36,460 --> 01:43:39,796
A little while longer.
She's going to let us in.

1766
01:43:39,881 --> 01:43:42,090
Okay, kiddo, here's the deal.

1767
01:43:42,174 --> 01:43:44,259
I'm gonna count to 30, okay?

1768
01:43:44,343 --> 01:43:46,344
And if she doesn't let us in,
we're gonna go home,

1769
01:43:46,429 --> 01:43:48,346
and we're never gonna talk about this again.

1770
01:43:48,431 --> 01:43:50,557
-DeaI?
-Yeah.

1771
01:43:51,183 --> 01:43:52,309
Ready?

1772
01:43:52,935 --> 01:43:57,397
-One, two, three...
-One, two, three...

1773
01:43:57,481 --> 01:44:01,568
-...four, five, six...
-...four, five, six...

1774
01:44:02,528 --> 01:44:07,657
-... 14, 15, 16, 17...
-... 14, 15, 16, 17...

1775
01:44:07,742 --> 01:44:10,702
If she lets us in,
tell her the story like you told me.

1776
01:44:10,786 --> 01:44:13,038
-And then she'll know.
-WILLIAM: Know what?

1777
01:44:13,164 --> 01:44:15,165
I can't explain. She'll just know.

1778
01:44:16,042 --> 01:44:21,046
-...25, 26, 27...
-...25, 26, 27...

1779
01:44:23,382 --> 01:44:25,133
-Twenty-nine.
-Twenty-nine.

1780
01:44:27,219 --> 01:44:29,888
Twenty-nine and a quarter.

1781
01:44:29,972 --> 01:44:32,432
Twenty-nine and a half.

1782
01:44:34,226 --> 01:44:36,561
Twenty-nine and three-quarters.

1783
01:44:37,980 --> 01:44:39,856
What comes after that?

1784
01:44:42,234 --> 01:44:43,610
Time to go.

1785
01:44:46,489 --> 01:44:48,907
MAYA: But this wasn't
what was supposed to have happened.

1786
01:44:48,991 --> 01:44:50,241
-I know.
-I really thought

1787
01:44:50,326 --> 01:44:54,287
she would have heard through the intercom
and let us in,

1788
01:44:54,372 --> 01:44:55,914
or run down the stairs and say...

1789
01:44:55,998 --> 01:45:02,587
What story?

1790
01:45:14,392 --> 01:45:16,893
-I kept the book...
-Yeah?

1791
01:45:18,354 --> 01:45:21,898
...because it was the only thing
that I had left of you.

1792
01:45:42,670 --> 01:45:46,589
-You must be Maya.
-You must be April.

1793
01:45:51,220 --> 01:45:53,263
So what happens now?

1794
01:45:53,389 --> 01:45:56,599
You invite us inside,
and we tell you the story.

1795
01:45:57,768 --> 01:45:58,935
Okay.

1796
01:46:46,484 --> 01:46:48,610
(UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)