1
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:07,975
Man:
PREVIOUSLY ON
"IN TREATMENT"...

2
00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:10,178
MY FATHER HAS ALWAYS
BEEN THERE FOR ME.

3
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,113
HIS STUDIO WAS AT HOME,

4
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,415
SO THERE WERE A LOT OF
MODELS WALKING AROUND NAKED.

5
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,017
- THEY WERE HAVING SEX.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW?

6
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:20,221
- I SAW THEM.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL
YOUR MOTHER WHAT YOU SAW?

7
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:23,391
IT'S NOT MY JOB
TO MAKE HER FACE REALITY!

8
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:27,161
I'M THE CHILD!
SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE
SMARTER THAN ME.

9
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:28,862
SOPHIE, IN ALL THE WEEKS
THAT WE'VE BEEN IN THERAPY,

10
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,332
YOU'VE NEVER ONCE
ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BE
ANGRY AT YOUR FATHER.

11
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:34,268
I THINK THAT YOUR FATHER
MADE YOU HIS ACCOMPLICE

12
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,470
AND HE DROVE THIS WEDGE
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MOTHER.

13
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:37,971
WHY CAN'T YOU LET YOURSELF
BE ANGRY AT HIM?

14
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,441
WHY SHOULD I BE ANGRY AT HIM?

15
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,710
SHE'S THE ONE WHO--

16
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,245
- WHO PISSES ME OFF!
- WHY?

17
00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,714
BECAUSE SHE'S PATHETIC
AND ANNOYING AND--

18
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:49,117
AND SHE'S ALWAYS AROUND.

19
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:57,325
( birds twittering )

20
00:00:57,425 --> 00:01:00,994
- Olivia: WHAT'D I TELL YA?
- Sophie: IT'S NOT 4:00.

21
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,830
IT'S FIVE MINUTES TO.

22
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,365
YOU SAID WE'D BE ON TIME.

23
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:05,999
WE'RE EARLY.

24
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,502
( laughs )
MY APOLOGIES.

25
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,107
YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME.

26
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,409
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

27
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,112
I'LL TAKE A WALK.
I LIKE THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.

28
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:23,651
OKAY. WHATEVER.
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

29
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,325
YOUR HAIR LOOKS
LOVELY LIKE THIS.

30
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,627
REALLY.

31
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:37,030
IT LOOKS LOVELY DOWN TOO,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING REALLY

32
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:40,234
GREAT ABOUT IT
WHEN IT'S UP LIKE THIS.

33
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:54,415
- MOM--
- I WAS GONNA SAY--

34
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,450
NO, WHAT-- WHAT
WERE YOU GONNA SAY?

35
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,652
IT WAS NOTHING.
WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY?

36
00:02:01,088 --> 00:02:03,123
WELL, I WAS
JUST THINKING THAT

37
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,993
AFTER YOUR SESSION,
IF YOU WEREN'T BUSY,

38
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:07,661
THAT MAYBE WE
COULD DO SOMETHING.

39
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,364
I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE
THE SHOES THAT I BOUGHT YOU,

40
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,833
BUT MAYBE WE COULD
GO GET A DIFFERENT PAIR.

41
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,903
OR GO GET COFFEE.

42
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,411
WHAT'S WRONG?

43
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:25,246
I'M FINE.

44
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,516
TELL ME WHAT YOU
WERE GONNA SAY BEFORE.

45
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:31,885
I HAVE TO GO.
I'M GOING TO BE LATE.

46
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:39,760
( theme music playing )

47
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:57,811
( crying )

48
00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,813
( blowing )

49
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,467
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO SHIT.

50
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:24,338
I TRIED TALKING
TO MY MOM ALL WEEK.

51
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,240
I JUST TRIED AGAIN
IN THE CAR

52
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,409
AND I CAN'T SAY
ANYTHING TO HER.

53
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,380
I LITERALLY CAN'T.

54
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,148
I FEEL LIKE THERE'S
THIS LUMP IN MY THROAT

55
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,685
ALL THE TIME NOW.

56
00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:40,488
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'D LIKE TO SAY TO HER?

57
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,491
I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

58
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,193
IT'S NOT JUST ONE THING.

59
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:48,429
I JUST WANT
TO TALK TO HER LIKE--

60
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,107
MY DAD'S BEEN CALLING

61
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,976
CONSTANTLY
EVERY DAY THIS WEEK,

62
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,545
LIKE HE'S SUDDENLY
COMPETING FOR

63
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:07,548
MOST ATTENTIVE FATHER
OF THE YEAR AWARD.

64
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,216
I HAVEN'T
CALLED HIM BACK ONCE.

65
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:11,952
- WHY NOT?
- I DON'T KNOW.

66
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,891
WHY DO YOU THINK
HE'S CALLING SO OFTEN?

67
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,893
PAUL, STOP.

68
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,261
I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?

69
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:24,798
I CAN'T. JUST GIVE ME
A FUCKING BREAK.

70
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,771
YESTERDAY ON BEAM...

71
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,475
MY LEGS STARTED TO SHAKE--

72
00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:39,680
LIKE A SPASM OR SOMETHING.

73
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:43,183
I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN
TO SOME OF THE YOUNGER GIRLS
WHEN THEY GET SCARED.

74
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,919
I'VE NEVER BEEN
SCARED ON THE BEAM.

75
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:49,723
CY WAS WATCHING,
SO HE'LL PROBABLY PULL
ME OUT OF THE MEET.

76
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:52,159
I PROBABLY WON'T
EVEN GET TO COMPETE.

77
00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,261
I DON'T THINK
THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

78
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,864
WHAT THE HELL
DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?

79
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:04,505
EVEN IF I DO COMPETE,
HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED
TO ACE A NATIONAL TRYOUT

80
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,007
IF I'M SHAKING
LIKE AN EPILEPTIC?

81
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,078
I'LL FALL APART ON THE BEAM
AND BECOME A JOKE.

82
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,286
THERE'S SOMETHING
SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH ME.

83
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:22,956
SO WE'RE GOING
BACK TO THIS THEN?

84
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:26,394
THAT IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT,
THAT THERE'S SOMETHING
SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU?

85
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:27,895
( crying )
THERE IS.

86
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,063
I'M ALL FUCKED UP.

87
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,833
IN WHAT WAY IS THAT?

88
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,002
GEE, I DON'T KNOW, PAUL.

89
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,770
I RAN MY BIKE INTO A CAR.

90
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,540
THEN AS SOON AS THEY
WANTED TO TAKE MY CAST OFF,

91
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,376
MY NECK MYSTERIOUSLY
WIGGED OUT.

92
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:44,945
THEN I TOOK YOUR PILLS.

93
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,247
AND NOW I HAVE SOME
SORT OF A FLESH-EATING DISEASE.

94
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,349
I MEAN, LOOK.

95
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:55,689
DIDN'T YOUR DERMATOLOGIST
SAY THERE WASN'T ANYTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT?

96
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,991
WHAT IN THE HELL
DOES SHE KNOW?

97
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:03,631
SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT IT
MIGHT BE STRESS-RELATED?

98
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,800
YOU KNOW THAT ANXIETY
CAN MANIFEST ITSELF

99
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,036
IN ALL KINDS
OF PHYSICAL WAYS.

100
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:12,840
SOME PEOPLE
CAN GET CRAMPS,

101
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:15,576
MIGRAINES, A RASH.

102
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:20,013
SO I'M JUST
A LITTLE WORRIED?

103
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,749
OKAY, ALL BETTER.

104
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:24,251
SOPHIE, YOU'RE TRYING TO DO
TWO BIG THINGS AT THE MOMENT.

105
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,286
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE TALKING
TO YOUR MOTHER.

106
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,489
YOU'RE NOT JUST BERATING HER
LIKE YOU USED TO DO.

107
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:32,259
YOU'RE-- YOU'RE ACTUALLY
TRYING TO TALK TO HER.

108
00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:36,664
AND YOU ARE AVOIDING
YOUR FATHER.

109
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:39,232
THESE ARE EXTREMELY
DIFFICULT THINGS TO DO

110
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:42,302
BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER
DONE THEM BEFORE.

111
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,705
AND...

112
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:47,675
THEY COULD LEAD
TO PAINFUL PLACES.

113
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:50,978
LIKE TELLING YOUR MOTHER
YOUR FATHER'S SECRETS

114
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:54,748
AND TELLING YOUR DAD
THAT YOU'RE ANGRY WITH HIM.

115
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,718
DON'T YOU THINK THAT
COULD BE CAUSING YOU
A LOT OF ANXIETY?

116
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,288
AND THAT YOUR BODY IS
SENDING UP THESE KIND OF

117
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:04,157
FLARES IN THE FORM
OF A RASH?

118
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,394
I'M ALMOST CERTAIN, SOPHIE,

119
00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:10,531
THAT THERE IS NOTHING
PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH YOU.

120
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:15,603
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

121
00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:18,606
I REMEMBER ONCE
YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS
STARTING MY PRACTICE,

122
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:22,342
I MOVED TO THE CITY
AND GOT A NEW APARTMENT.

123
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,945
EVERYTHING WAS GOING
REALLY WELL.

124
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,280
VERY HAPPY, I THOUGHT.

125
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:30,417
AND THEN ONE DAY
I WAS WITH A PATIENT

126
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,886
AND FOR NO REASON
MY HEART STARTED TO POUND.

127
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,354
I COULDN'T BREATHE.

128
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,956
I HAD THIS
RINGING IN MY EARS

129
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,458
WHEN SUDDENLY MY TONGUE
STARTED TO SWELL UP.

130
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,327
SO THIS PATIENT
CALLED THE AMBULANCE

131
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:42,563
AND THEY-- THEY TOOK ME
TO THE HOSPITAL.

132
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:45,933
TOOK ME TO THIS ROOM,
DID ALL THESE KINDS OF TESTS.

133
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,671
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
FOUND IN THE END?

134
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,774
WHAT?

135
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,677
NOTHING.

136
00:07:56,777 --> 00:08:00,247
I'D HAD WHAT THEY
CALL AN ANXIETY ATTACK.

137
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,351
( chuckles )
GUESS I WAS MORE...

138
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,787
OVERWHELMED AND STRESSED
THAN I THOUGHT I WAS.

139
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:10,524
I THINK THAT'S BULLSHIT.

140
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:13,493
DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A LITTLE
ANXIETY RASH TO YOU?

141
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:16,129
( crying )
WELL, DOCTOR?

142
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,565
HELLO?

143
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,332
LOOK AT ME, YOU SHIT!

144
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:22,936
AM I THAT MUCH OF A FREAK
THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME?

145
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:26,239
WHAT'S THE MATTER, PAUL?
AM I EMBARRASSING YOU?

146
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,375
CROSSING YOUR BOUNDARIES?

147
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:32,079
YOU WANT TO DISAPPEAR
WHEN SOMEBODY ELSE WANTS
SOMETHING FROM YOU?

148
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,287
DO I STILL SEEM
NORMAL TO YOU?

149
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,725
MM-HMM.

150
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:52,633
I SHOCKED YOU.

151
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,769
YOU'RE SHOCKED.

152
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:03,210
MY TITTIES SCARED YOU.

153
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,580
HOW CAN THEY?
THEY'RE JUST THESE
TINY LITTLE THINGS.

154
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,218
DOES THE SIZE
OF YOUR BREASTS

155
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,253
UPSET YOU, SOPHIE?

156
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,656
OF COURSE NOT.

157
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,825
IT'S JUST WHAT
HAPPENS TO GYMNASTS.

158
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,728
IT'S THE DIET.

159
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:24,632
WHEN GIRLS STOP TRAINING
THEY EXPLODE.

160
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:27,701
THEY GAIN WEIGHT,
GROW A GREAT BIG
RACK AND ASS,

161
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,737
GET FULL PERIODS.

162
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:32,239
THEY BECOME NORMAL.

163
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:35,275
I KNOW IT'S NOT NORMAL
TO BE LIKE THIS, I GET THAT.

164
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:39,079
I'D SAY THAT YOU
HAD THE BODY OF A--

165
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,981
A FUCKING FREAK.

166
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:46,954
I HAVE THE BODY
OF A CHILD.

167
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:50,257
BUT I'M NOT A CHILD.
CHILDREN DON'T WANT
TO KILL THEMSELVES.

168
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,996
THAT'S TRUE.

169
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:06,306
ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT DEATH
AGAIN, SOPHIE?

170
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,313
DO YOU KNOW WHY?

171
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:17,017
BECAUSE EVERYTHING
IS FALLING APART AROUND ME.

172
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:20,353
IT'S WHAT I'M TRYING
TO TELL YOU.

173
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,423
IT'S LIKE THAT DREAM
I USED TO HAVE

174
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,225
WHERE THE PRETTY MEADOW
TURNS TO ASH

175
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,127
RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES.

176
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,162
EXCEPT I'M AWAKE

177
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,998
AND I CAN'T MAKE IT STOP.

178
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,342
YOU KNOW, I WAS REMEMBERING
SOMETHING THAT YOU TOLD ME.

179
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,847
THE TIME WHEN YOU
WERE IN THE AMBULANCE.

180
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:50,050
YOU REMEMBER?
YOU WANTED TO PUT
THE MIRROR OUTSIDE

181
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,119
SO THAT YOU COULD SEE
WHAT WAS GOING ON.

182
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:54,988
YOU COULDN'T SEE
ANYTHING EXCEPT YOURSELF.

183
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,190
- DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
- SO WHAT?

184
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,893
WELL, I THINK SOMETIMES
WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

185
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,896
IN YOUR LIFE, SOPHIE,
YOU BLAME YOURSELF.

186
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:06,299
WHENEVER A SITUATION
SEEMS DIFFICULT,

187
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:10,337
YOU ASSUME THAT IT'S--
THAT IT'S YOUR FAULT.

188
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:13,240
YOU BUILT THIS SURROGATE HOME
WITH CY AND DARLENE

189
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,775
AND IT FELL APART FOR YOU.

190
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,977
AND YOU BLAMED YOURSELF,

191
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,879
NOT CY.

192
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,647
AND YOU DECIDED
TO PUNISH YOURSELF

193
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,450
BY RIDING YOUR
BICYCLE INTO A CAR.

194
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,920
SEE, THE THING IS,
IF YOU SEE YOURSELF
ALWAYS AS THE PROBLEM,

195
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,790
YOU'RE GOING
TO CREATE DISCORD

196
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:33,626
IN-- IN THE MOST
PERFECT PLACES.

197
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,195
DID IT EVER
OCCUR TO YOU

198
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:38,365
THAT CY WAS THE PERSON
RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED?

199
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,401
- IT WAS MY FAULT.
- BUT WHY DOES IT
HAVE TO BE YOUR FAULT?

200
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:44,805
BECAUSE IT IS.
THAT'S THE SECOND
TIME IT'S HAPPENED.

201
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:47,274
YOU MEAN IT'S
THE SECOND TIME
YOUR HOME FELL APART.

202
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,143
BUT WHY WOULD YOU THINK
THAT THAT WAS YOUR FAULT?

203
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,881
- I DON'T KNOW. IT JUST WAS.
- NO, I NEED YOU TO TELL ME.

204
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:56,016
- I DON'T KNOW.
- NO, IT'S IMPORTANT
FOR YOU--

205
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,185
- I DON'T KNOW, PAUL.
- NO, BUT--

206
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:00,220
STOP IT!

207
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:04,057
YOU WANT ME TO HAVE
SOME BIG BREAKTHROUGH TODAY,
I CAN SEE THAT.

208
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,431
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
TELL ME WHAT THE ANSWER IS

209
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,966
AND I'LL REPEAT IT
BACK TO YOU

210
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,335
AND YOU CAN PUT A GOLD STAR
ON MY FOREHEAD?

211
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,737
WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO IS
HELP YOU FIND YOUR OWN ANSWERS.

212
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,773
AND I THINK THAT YOU ARE

213
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,342
REALLY CLOSE TO THAT.

214
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,079
AND I UNDERSTAND
HOW SCARY THAT MUST BE.

215
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,860
HAVE YOU EVER READ THE BIBLE?

216
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:44,865
ISN'T THAT LIKE ILLEGAL
FOR YOU TO ASK ME THAT?

217
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:48,168
( laughs )
NOT REALLY.

218
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,972
IT'S REALLY JUST
A SUBJECT LIKE ANY OTHER.

219
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:55,809
YOU CAN CHOOSE
TO TALK ABOUT IT OR NOT.

220
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,144
ANYWAY,
IN THE NEW TESTAMENT

221
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,279
GOD IS ALWAYS
PORTRAYED AS BEING GOOD

222
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,581
AND WICKEDNESS
AND EVIL IS A HUMAN THING,

223
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,083
A HUMAN PROBLEM.

224
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,784
ACTUALLY, IT'S ONE
OF THE THINGS

225
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:07,787
THAT'S HELPED CHRISTIANITY
TO SPREAD VERY QUICKLY.

226
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:12,192
CAN YOU--
CAN YOU THINK WHY?

227
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,629
BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE TO FEEL
SHITTY ABOUT THEMSELVES?

228
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,432
THAT'S IT. EXACTLY.

229
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:22,302
WE PREFER TO LIVE
IN A WORLD WHERE GOD IS GOOD

230
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,973
AND MAN IS BAD
RATHER THAN A WORLD
WHERE GOD IS BAD.

231
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,341
SO AN EVIL AUTHORITY,
AN UNFAIR GOVERNMENT,

232
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,478
NEGLECTFUL PARENTS--
THAT'S A PRETTY SCARY CONCEPT.

233
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,680
MAKES YOUR WHOLE LIFE SEEM

234
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,382
KIND OF SCARY
AND MEANINGLESS.

235
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:39,252
IT IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY
CHILDREN WILL BLAME THEMSELVES

236
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,154
BEFORE THEIR PARENTS.

237
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,929
YOU TOLD ME ONCE
THAT YOU WANTED TO MOVE
ACROSS THE COUNTRY

238
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,298
TO BE WITH YOUR DAD
AND HIS NEW WIFE,
BUT THAT THEY--

239
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:54,968
THEY DIDN'T HAVE
A ROOM FOR YOU
IN HER HOUSE.

240
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,970
YOU SAID THAT
THEY ARGUED ABOUT IT

241
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,072
AND THAT EVENTUALLY
HE LEFT HER, RIGHT?

242
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,875
- RIGHT.
- HOW LONG DID IT TAKE HIM

243
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:04,411
TO-- TO LEAVE HER?

244
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,581
I DON'T KNOW,
OVER TWO YEARS.

245
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,184
HMM.

246
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:14,487
AND DURING THAT WHOLE TIME,
YOUR MOTHER WAS DEPRESSED

247
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,423
AND CRYING CONSTANTLY, YEAH?

248
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,359
AND YOU WANTED TO MOVE
TO YOUR DAD AND BE WITH HIM,

249
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:20,693
BUT YOU COULDN'T.

250
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,762
TWO YEARS IS A LONG TIME
FOR A CHILD

251
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,899
TO BE WITHOUT
A SAFE PLACE TO CALL HOME.

252
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,969
I TOLD YOU, HE LEFT HER
BECAUSE OF THAT.

253
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,071
AFTER TWO YEARS, SOPHIE.

254
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,884
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

255
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,490
HOW COULD HE
JUST STOP LOVING ME?

256
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:51,992
WHAT DID I DO?

257
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,161
YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

258
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,965
ISN'T THERE
A LAW SOMEWHERE

259
00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,867
THAT SAYS PARENTS HAVE
TO LOVE THEIR KIDS FOREVER?

260
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:05,872
YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT YOU
MUST'VE SCREWED UP SOMEWHERE.

261
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:07,574
OTHERWISE, HOW COULD THEY
TREAT YOU LIKE THIS?

262
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:11,544
A FATHER CAN'T JUST ABANDON
HIS PERFECTLY NORMAL DAUGHTER,

263
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,613
SWAP HER FOR A NEW FAMILY.

264
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:17,517
A MOTHER CAN'T
JUST FALL INTO A DEEP
DEPRESSION AND IGNORE HER.

265
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,420
MUST BE YOUR FAULT.

266
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,897
MAYBE IF I HAD TOLD
MY MOTHER ABOUT THE CHEATING

267
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:33,066
THEN AT LEAST THINGS
WOULD BE BETTER WITH HER.

268
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,102
SOPHIE, THAT IS NOT
THE SORT OF RESPONSIBILITY

269
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:37,037
A CHILD SHOULD
BE ASKED TO HANDLE.

270
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,738
YOUR FATHER CHEATED
ON YOUR MOTHER,

271
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,974
YOU DIDN'T TELL HER,
THEN HE LEFT.

272
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:44,077
YOU NEEDED THAT
ORDER OF EVENTS
TO SOMEHOW MAKE SENSE

273
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,079
SO YOU BLAMED YOURSELF

274
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,948
BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE
MADE SENSE.

275
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,121
( sniffs )

276
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,327
SOPHIE...

277
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,565
LISTEN TO ME.

278
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:09,202
YOU SAW YOUR DAD CHEATING
AND YOU DIDN'T TELL YOUR MOM.

279
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,104
NOW DO YOU HONESTLY THINK

280
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,540
THAT THAT'S A REASON
FOR YOU TO BE ABANDONED?

281
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,061
I FOUND MY DIARY
FROM FOURTH GRADE.

282
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:38,098
I USED TO WRITE
IN THIS THING CONSTANTLY.

283
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,867
DID YOU EVER KEEP A DIARY?

284
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:42,602
NO.

285
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,674
I TOOK IT OUT
BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE

286
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,442
IF YOU WERE RIGHT

287
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,379
ABOUT HOW HARD IT WAS
FOR ME TO LIE TO MY MOTHER.

288
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,051
DO YOU WANT ME
TO READ YOU WHAT I FOUND?

289
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,521
I'D BE HONORED.

290
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,674
"DEAR HERMIONE"--
I PRETENDED THAT I WAS

291
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,543
WRITING TO HERMIONE GRANGER.

292
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:27,114
- WHO'S THAT?
- YOU KNOW, FROM
"HARRY POTTER."

293
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,649
TELL ME YOU'VE READ THOSE.

294
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:31,984
ARE YOU INSANE?

295
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:35,288
I JUST HAVEN'T
GOTTEN AROUND TO IT YET.

296
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,225
- THEY'VE BEEN OUT
FOR 10 YEARS.
- I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW.

297
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:39,859
I'LL BRING YOU MY SET
NEXT WEEK, OKAY?

298
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,828
NO, THAT'S NOT
NECESSARY, HONESTLY.

299
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:44,131
MY KIDS HAVE THEM.

300
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:45,765
- THEY'VE READ THEM?
- UH-HUH.

301
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,934
AND-- AND THEY
REALLY LOVE THEM.

302
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:49,869
OKAY.

303
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,604
MAYBE YOU'RE NOT
SUCH A FUCKED-UP PARENT.

304
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:54,307
( chuckles )
THANK YOU.

305
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:57,210
"DEAR HERMIONE,

306
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,112
IT WAS A TERRIBLE DAY TODAY.

307
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,314
I AM SO SAD.

308
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,283
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T
WRITTEN TO YOU IN A WHILE.

309
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,952
I KNOW YOU MUST
BE ANGRY AND MISS ME.

310
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:08,221
I MISS YOU TOO.

311
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,956
I WANTED TO TELL YOU
EVERYTHING,

312
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,391
BUT I KNOW I MUST
HIDE THINGS FROM YOU

313
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,860
BECAUSE SHE
MIGHT READ IT.

314
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,262
I'M AFRAID FROM NOW ON

315
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:17,497
YOU AND I MUST
SUSTAIN OURSELVES."

316
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,002
WHAT IS IT?

317
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,672
I WROTE "SUSTAINED"
INSTEAD OF "RESTRAINED."

318
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,278
WHERE DID YOU
KEEP THIS DIARY?

319
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:33,813
ON MY NIGHT TABLE.

320
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,482
NOT HIDDEN AWAY?

321
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,589
YOU KNOW,
IT'S A WONDERFUL GIFT,

322
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,791
THIS DIARY.

323
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,526
IT'S A REAL CLUE

324
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,094
TO WHO YOU ARE.

325
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,397
THERE YOU ARE
IN FOURTH GRADE,

326
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,665
YOU'RE ALREADY PULLING
AWAY FROM YOUR WORLD.

327
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,168
YOU'RE ESTABLISHING
A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEBODY

328
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,936
WHO CANNOT LET YOU DOWN--

329
00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,705
HERMIONE.

330
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:02,242
YOU'RE CONFIDING IN HER.

331
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:06,779
BUT YOU'RE STILL HOPING
THAT YOUR MOTHER WILL NOTICE.

332
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,817
YOU THINK I WANTED HER
TO FIND THE DIARY?

333
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:13,220
I THINK SO.

334
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,925
AND YOU WANTED HER
TO ASK WHAT YOU'RE HIDING.

335
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,167
YOU SAID THERE, UM,

336
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,270
IT WAS A TERRIBLE DAY.
WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?

337
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:33,806
OH. IT WAS
SEPTEMBER 11th.

338
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,546
WOW.

339
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,751
( stammers )
GO ON. PLEASE.

340
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,921
DO I HAVE TO READ IT?
IT'S SO FUCKING NAIVE.

341
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,723
I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT.

342
00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:00,233
"TODAY, BAD MEN
FROM OTHER COUNTRIES

343
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,201
HIJACKED AIRPLANES
AND FLEW THEM

344
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:05,071
INTO IMPORTANT
AMERICAN BUILDINGS.

345
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,739
THERE WERE PEOPLE INSIDE

346
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,608
THE PLANES AND BUILDINGS.

347
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,478
GOOD PEOPLE.

348
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:14,447
DAD SAYS I'M GOING
TO INHERIT AN EVIL WORLD."

349
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,988
I HATE HIM SO MUCH.

350
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:23,823
I HATE HIM
SO MUCH.

351
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:26,493
WHAT KIND OF A FUCKING IDIOT
TELLS A FOURTH-GRADER

352
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,895
THAT SHE'S GOING
TO INHERIT AN EVIL WORLD?

353
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,530
IF HE REALLY BELIEVED THAT,

354
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,832
THEN WHY DIDN'T HE DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT

355
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,935
INSTEAD OF RUNNING OFF
TO L.A. TO PHOTOGRAPH BIMBOS?

356
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,239
HMM.

357
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:45,545
- SO YOU'RE NOT
PICKING UP HIS CALLS?
- NO WAY.

358
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:48,014
SO HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW
THAT YOU'RE ANGRY AT HIM?

359
00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:51,050
I DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT THIS NOW.

360
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,852
OKAY.

361
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:57,457
BUT WHEN YOU'RE READY,
WE'LL TALK ABOUT WHAT
YOU WANT TO SAY TO HIM.

362
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,527
OKAY?

363
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,497
OKAY.

364
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:11,671
SO YOU REALLY THINK
THE RASH AND SPASMS
ARE COMING FROM MY HEAD?

365
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,974
MM-HMM, BUT THAT DOESN'T
MEAN THEY'RE NOT REAL.

366
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:18,678
BUT I DON'T THINK THAT IT'S--
THAT IT'S A DISEASE.

367
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,916
SO WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT?

368
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:26,519
I THINK YOU NEED TO START
TO FORGIVE YOURSELF.

369
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,821
FORGIVE MYSELF FOR WHAT?

370
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:31,358
FOR NOT TELLING YOUR MOTHER
ABOUT YOUR FATHER'S AFFAIR.

371
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,360
YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU
HAVE TO UNDERSTAND IS THAT

372
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:36,062
THEY WERE GONNA
BREAK UP ANYWAY

373
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:37,597
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DID.

374
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:41,901
YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE
FOR YOUR PARENTS' ACTIONS.

375
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:46,005
THE ONLY ACTIONS THAT
WE CAN CONTROL ARE OUR OWN.

376
00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:50,943
AND THE ONLY POWER WE HAVE
IS HOW WE TREAT OTHER PEOPLE

377
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:54,013
AND HOW WE TREAT OURSELVES.

378
00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:58,084
SO YOU WANT ME
TO FORGIVE MYSELF?

379
00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:00,620
MM-HMM.

380
00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:04,824
HOW?

381
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:06,526
SLOWLY.

382
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:09,929
IT'S GONNA TAKE A WHILE.

383
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:11,698
IT'S TAKEN YOU A FEW YEARS
TO FALL INTO THIS

384
00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:14,867
AND IT'S PROBABLY
GONNA TAKE YOU A WHILE

385
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:16,569
TO GET OUT OF IT.

386
00:22:18,405 --> 00:22:20,940
BUT YOU HAVE TO
START TRYING NOW.

387
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,044
'CAUSE YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

388
00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:28,481
YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

389
00:22:48,334 --> 00:22:50,737
QUE LASTIMA.

390
00:22:50,837 --> 00:22:52,672
HMM?

391
00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:56,008
IT'S FROM A SPANISH SONG.
IT MEANS WHAT A SHAME.

392
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,478
AH.
QUE-- QUE LASTIMA.

393
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:04,751
( speaks Spanish )

394
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,988
WOW.
MY SPANISH IS DREADFUL.

395
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:10,523
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

396
00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:14,093
IT MEANS IN A CERTAIN LIGHT,
YOU LOOK LIKE A MOVIE STAR.

397
00:23:14,193 --> 00:23:15,995
OOH.

398
00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:18,197
WELL, GRACIAS.

399
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:20,533
( both laugh )

400
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:29,809
THE COMPETITION
IS ON FRIDAY.
SHOULD I GO?

401
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:32,344
I THINK SO.

402
00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:34,681
I THINK THAT YOU
REALLY WANT TO AND...

403
00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:36,783
I AGREE THAT YOU SHOULD GO.

404
00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:46,626
- I HAVE TO GO.
- OKAY.

405
00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:50,396
MY MOM'S WAITING
FOR ME IN THE CAR.

406
00:23:50,497 --> 00:23:52,264
SHE WANTS
TO TAKE ME SHOPPING.

407
00:23:52,364 --> 00:23:55,502
OH, SHOPPING.
WOW, THAT SOUNDS ROUGH.

408
00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:58,170
( clears throat )
LISTEN, IF YOU DECIDE
TO COMPETE

409
00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:00,239
AND YOU START
TO FEEL ANXIOUS,

410
00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:01,708
I WANT YOU TO CALL ME, OKAY?

411
00:24:01,808 --> 00:24:04,343
YOU KNOW,
DON'T BE SHY.

412
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:07,146
I'M NEVER SHY.

413
00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:09,616
SOMETIMES,
I'M CIRCUMSPECT

414
00:24:09,716 --> 00:24:11,217
OR WARY,
BUT NOT SHY.

415
00:24:11,317 --> 00:24:12,919
I STAND CORRECTED.

416
00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,621
AND LISTEN,
IF YOU'RE UP ON THE BEAM

417
00:24:14,721 --> 00:24:17,156
AND YOUR LEGS
START TO SHAKE,

418
00:24:17,256 --> 00:24:19,826
TRY SAYING
THIS TO YOURSELF:

419
00:24:19,926 --> 00:24:22,895
"I AM MAKING THIS HAPPEN.
IT IS COMING FROM INSIDE ME

420
00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:24,631
AND BECAUSE I AM
MAKING IT HAPPEN,

421
00:24:24,731 --> 00:24:28,000
I CAN MAKE IT STOP."

422
00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:32,071
DOES THAT REALLY WORK?

423
00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:34,607
MMM, I THINK IT CAN, YEAH.

424
00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:37,209
I USED IT ON MYSELF
A FEW YEARS AGO

425
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:40,012
AND IT DID WORK.

426
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:43,249
- OKAY, I'LL TRY IT.
- OKAY.

427
00:25:04,436 --> 00:25:07,006
( birds twittering )

428
00:25:21,988 --> 00:25:24,123
WHERE TO?

429
00:25:24,223 --> 00:25:26,759
WHEREVER YOU'D LIKE--
THE MALL, THE MOVIES...

430
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:29,696
LET'S GO HOME.

431
00:25:31,230 --> 00:25:32,832
OKAY.

432
00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:42,041
WE CAN STOP FOR COFFEE
SOMEWHERE IF YOU WANTED TO.

433
00:25:47,013 --> 00:25:48,748
- WHAT'S WRONG?
- NOTHING.

434
00:25:48,848 --> 00:25:50,983
- ( laughs )
- WE DON'T HAVE TO.

435
00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:53,786
NO, WE SHOULD.
WE SHOULD DO THAT.

436
00:25:59,325 --> 00:26:01,093
( car starts )

437
00:26:16,609 --> 00:26:19,078
( theme music playing )