1 00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,917 HEY, GOOD MORNING. 2 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:21,222 OH, YOU MADE BREAKFAST. 3 00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:25,059 YOU ALWAYS DO THAT IN THESE SITUATIONS? 4 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,795 ACTUALLY THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN THAT OFTEN. 5 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:39,240 - YOU SEEM HAPPY. - ARE YOU FISHING? 6 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:42,876 DON'T ANALYZE ME, PAUL. 7 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,579 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 8 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,881 I'M HAPPY. 9 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:50,818 ME TOO. 10 00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:53,654 I THOUGHT I'D FEEL GUILTY. 11 00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:56,056 BUT YOU DON'T? 12 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:59,293 IT'S STRANGE. I HAVEN'T BEEN WITH 13 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,530 OR EVEN LOOKED AT ANOTHER MAN FOR 15 YEARS. 14 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,799 BUT WE-- I DON'T KNOW, IT JUST COMPLETELY SEEMED 15 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,401 COMFORTABLE. 16 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:10,438 COMFORTABLE? LIKE AN OLD SHOE. 17 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,206 ( giggling ) 18 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:15,609 - LIKE A PERFECT FIT. - OH, OKAY. 19 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:18,679 LIKE A PARALLEL UNIVERSE. 20 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,349 I EVEN THOUGHT THAT IF MARC FOUND OUT, HE'D UNDERSTAND. 21 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:24,652 - DO YOU THINK HE WOULD? - NOPE. NO. 22 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:28,822 I KNOW HE WOULDN'T. IT WOULD BE NICE IF HE WOULD, 23 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,458 BUT NO. 24 00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:36,063 BUT THIS ISN'T ABOUT HIM. 25 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:39,267 THIS IS ABOUT BEFORE HIM. 26 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:42,403 YOU MEAN YOU THINK I SHOULD BE GRANDFATHERED IN? 27 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,538 - ( phone ringing ) - EXCUSE ME. 28 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,144 - IT'S MY DAUGHTER. - OH, I SHOULD GET DRESSED. 29 00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:51,845 - I HAVE A TRAIN TO CATCH. - OKAY. 30 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,815 HELLO? 31 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,784 OH, HI, ROSIE. 32 00:01:56,884 --> 00:02:00,053 NO NO NO, IT'S NOT A BAD TIME. CAN YOU HOLD ON FOR A SECOND? 33 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,790 DO YOU HAVE TO GO NOW? 34 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:06,126 I THOUGHT WE MIGHT TAKE THE TRAIN DOWN TOGETHER. 35 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,764 NO, I MEAN-- WHAT IF SOMEBODY SEES US ON THE TRAIN TOGETHER? 36 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,267 OKAY. 37 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,869 OKAY. YEAH, NO NO, I DIDN'T GIVE 38 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,738 UNCLE PATRICK MY BROOKLYN NUMBER 39 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:20,341 BECAUSE-- YEAH. 40 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,876 YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. 41 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,146 I-- I, UH, I SHOULD HAVE. 42 00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:32,620 NO, I-I-- I HAVEN'T SEEN GRANDPA 43 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,655 THIS MONTH, 44 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,590 ROSIE. 45 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:41,495 LOOK, IF IT WERE A REAL EMERGENCY 46 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:44,598 THE NURSING HOME WOULD CONTACT ME. 47 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:49,237 BECAUSE I'M THE EMERGENCY CONTACT, THAT'S WHY, ROSIE. 48 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,509 I KNOW YOU LOVE YOUR GRANDFATHER. 49 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,678 AND-- 50 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,353 SHE, UH... SHE HUNG UP. 51 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,490 ( wry chuckle ) 52 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:14,295 ( theme music playing ) 53 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,950 - ( panting breath ) - HEY, TAMMY. 54 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,286 HI, PAUL. 55 00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:41,088 I'M SORRY, I'VE-- I'VE GOTTA RUN. 56 00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:43,691 - MARC IS IN THE CAR. - OH, OKAY. 57 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,127 ARE YOU-- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 58 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,229 DID SOMETHING HAPPEN? 59 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:52,232 NO, I'M-- I'M FINE. ARE YOU OKAY? 60 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,702 - OH, I'M ALL RIGHT. - HOW'S YOUR DAD? 61 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,704 HE-HE-- HE'S GREAT. 62 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,973 SO I'LL CALL YOU LATER ON THEN. 63 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,977 I GOTTA GO. 64 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,628 Gina: YES, COME IN. 65 00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,899 HELLO, PAUL. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. 66 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:28,736 HI, GINA. 67 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,606 ( sighs ) 68 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,777 ARE YOU OKAY? 69 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,246 THAT'S JUST WHAT TAMMY ASKED ME. DO I SEEM-- 70 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,682 - YOU SEEM NERVOUS, YES. - I'M NOT. 71 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:45,052 MY FATHER'S SICK. 72 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:48,322 OKAY, THAT'S NOT TRUE. 73 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:51,892 HE'S PAST SICK. HE'S GOT LATE-STAGE PARKINSON'S. 74 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:55,496 - I'M SO SORRY, PAUL. - THAT'S SO EASY TO SAY, ISN'T IT? 75 00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:00,901 IT MAY BE EASY TO SAY, IT'S VERY HARD TO HEAR. 76 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,871 OH, FORGET IT. 77 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,543 THANK YOU. I'M-- 78 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,713 I'M SORRY I SNAPPED. 79 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,316 - WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW HIM? - DOES IT MATTER WHEN I SAW HIM? 80 00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:25,726 ( exhales ) I TRY TO TALK TO HIM, BUT HE'S-- 81 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,828 HE'S NOT THERE. 82 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:31,064 OR-OR-OR-- MAYBE HE IS AND HE'S JUST CHOOSING TO-- 83 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,701 TO HIDE. 84 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,803 REMIND ME AGAIN WHERE HE LIVES. 85 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:38,806 HE'S BEEN IN THE SAME NURSING HOME FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS. 86 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:42,209 IT'S CALLED VALLEY HAVEN, BUT IT'S NOT IN A VALLEY 87 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,111 AND IT'S NOT A HAVEN. 88 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:47,014 IT'S FILLED WITH DEAD MEN WALKING 89 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,182 AND PISSED OFF NURSES. 90 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,419 - IS HE IN PAIN? - HE'S IN PAIN, 91 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,721 I'M IN PAIN, THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD'S IN PAIN. 92 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:57,558 LUCKY FOR HIM I'M THERE TO PAY THE BILL. 93 00:05:57,658 --> 00:06:00,728 LONG AS I DO, HE GETS TO TAKE HIS NAP TWICE A DAY. 94 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,797 HOW DID WE GET ON TO THIS? JESUS. 95 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:07,801 ARE YOU SURPRISED TO FIND YOURSELF TALKING ABOUT WHAT A BURDEN HE IS? 96 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:10,938 YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? I THINK HE MISHANDLED HIS FINANCES 97 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,774 DELIBERATELY SO THAT I'D HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM. 98 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,444 HE THREW HIMSELF AT MY MERCY. 99 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,912 HE'S BEEN SICK FOR A LONG TIME. 100 00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,515 WHY IS HE AT THE FRONT OF YOUR MIND TODAY? 101 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:25,352 I DON'T KNOW. I TALKED TO MY BROTHER PATRICK. 102 00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:28,756 HE SAID MY FATHER SEEMED A LITTLE BIT... 103 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,558 OFF SOMEHOW. 104 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:33,160 LIKE PATRICK WOULD KNOW WHAT THAT WAS. 105 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,496 YOUR BROTHER'S VISITED HIM? 106 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:38,131 HE GOES OVER THERE AND HE EATS HIS DINNER-- 107 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,000 ACCORDING TO THE NURSES. 108 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,936 CAN'T YOU TELL THEM NOT TO LET HIM IN AT MEALTIMES? 109 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:46,039 I DON'T REALLY CARE WHO EATS HIS DINNER. 110 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,676 I JUST-- 111 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,616 WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY? 112 00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,754 I WAS GOING TO SAY I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE MAN TO DIE. 113 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:08,729 YOU ASKED. 114 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,799 IT'S VERY HARD TO HAVE SOMEONE SICK AND DEPENDENT ON YOU. 115 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,369 IT DRAINS ALL YOUR RESERVOIRS. 116 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:19,306 IT MAKES YOU VERY VERY TIRED. 117 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:22,543 I MEAN, IT-- IT'S NOT LIKE HE WAS THIS 118 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:26,714 GREAT FATHER WHO GOT PARKINSON'S 119 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:29,349 AND DISAPPEARED. HE WAS NEVER 120 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,151 PRESENT IN MY LIFE. 121 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:33,887 SOMEBODY COULD ALWAYS EAT HIS DINNER FOR ALL HE CARED. 122 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,790 HE ATE AT THE HOSPITAL, HE SAID. MY MOTHER STOPPED SETTING 123 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,926 A PLACE FOR HIM AT THE TABLE WHEN I WAS SIX YEARS OLD. 124 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:41,394 WERE THERE OTHER THINGS SHE STOPPED DOING FOR HIM? 125 00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:44,565 I'M SURE THERE WERE, BUT THE MAN WASN'T THERE. 126 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,767 YOU KNOW, YOU KEEP CALLING HIM "THE MAN." 127 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,436 DOES THAT HAVE ANY MEANING FOR YOU? 128 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:52,439 WHAT, LIKE-- LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE 129 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:55,175 "THE MAN" OF THE HOUSE 130 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,144 ONLY I HAD TO DO THAT JOB FOR HIM? 131 00:07:57,244 --> 00:08:00,213 IS THAT WHAT IT MEANS? 132 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,585 I ASKED TAMMY ABOUT HIM. YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID? 133 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,987 YOU SPOKE TO TAMMY ABOUT YOUR FATHER? 134 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,421 - YEAH. - HMM. 135 00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:11,358 SHE SAID THAT THE FIRST TIME THAT SHE SAW HIM 136 00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:14,962 SHE THOUGHT HE LOOKED JUST LIKE "THE MAN" 137 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,429 WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK. 138 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:20,233 - SO "THE MAN" CAME FROM TAMMY? - HER FATHER DIED THAT YEAR. 139 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:24,572 I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE SHE WAS FANTASIZING ABOUT MY FATHER. 140 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,840 ACTUALLY, I-I-- 141 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,643 I'M SURE SHE WAS. SHE WANTED TO LIVE 142 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:33,013 IN MY APARTMENT AND I WANTED TO LIVE IN HERS. 143 00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:36,283 ANYWAY, TAMMY AND I, 144 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:40,721 WE... 145 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,725 WE WENT OUT FOR COFFEE 146 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,895 AND I DID WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT LAST WEEK. 147 00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:51,431 I ASKED HER WHAT SHE REMEMBERED ABOUT THAT CHRISTMAS EVE, 148 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,701 THE NIGHT THAT MY MOTHER TRIED TO, UH... 149 00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:58,238 TRIED TO KILL HERSELF. ANYWAY, 150 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:01,041 IT TURNS OUT THAT TAMMY REMEMBERS, 151 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,510 BUT IN A REALLY CRAZY WAY. 152 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:07,347 A LOT OF IT WAS WHAT I REMEMBERED, YOU KNOW, THAT MY MOTHER WAS AT HOME, 153 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,617 THAT SHE WAS ASLEEP, THAT I WAS AT TAMMY'S, 154 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:11,585 WE ATE THE COOKIES, WE WERE SINGING. 155 00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:16,556 AND THEN TAMMY AND I WENT TO HER ROOM TO TALK, 156 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:19,827 BUT AFTER A FEW MINUTES I JUMPED OFF THE BED 157 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,062 AND RAN DOWN THE HALL TO CHECK ON MY MOTHER. 158 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:25,666 THAT WAS WHERE YOUR MEMORY WENT BLANK. WHAT ABOUT HERS? 159 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:29,670 SHE SAYS THAT I CAME RIGHT BACK AND THAT I WAS REALLY UPSET. 160 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:33,707 THAT MY MOTHER WAS SICK AND MY FATHER WAS WITH HER, 161 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,209 WAITING FOR AN AMBULANCE. 162 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,578 BY THE TIME TAMMY AND I WENT BACK, MY FATHER HAD 163 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,148 ALREADY GONE TO THE HOSPITAL WITH MY MOTHER, 164 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:45,052 SO TAMMY'S MOTHER BROUGHT US TO THE HOSPITAL. 165 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,388 SO THAT NIGHT IT TURNS OUT 166 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,357 YOUR FATHER WAS ACTUALLY WITH HER. 167 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:54,027 THAT NIGHT HE ACTUALLY WAS THE MAN. 168 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,428 I, UH, I GUESS. 169 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:58,031 - YOU DON'T BELIEVE TAMMY'S VERSION? - NO, I BELIEVE IT. 170 00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,599 WHY WOULD TAMMY LIE? 171 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,769 IT JUST-- IT JUST-- 172 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,037 IT JUST DOESN'T ADD UP. 173 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,940 RIGHT, BECAUSE IF YOUR FATHER HAD ALREADY LEFT HOME, 174 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,510 HOW COULD HE KNOW THAT YOUR MOTHER WAS GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE? 175 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,882 BUT THAT WAS ALSO KINDA STRANGE. 176 00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:18,752 TAMMY SAID THAT HE WAS ALWAYS CALLING HER MOTHER TO CHECK ON US. 177 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:21,288 WELL, OF COURSE HE WAS. 178 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:25,325 IT MUST HAVE BEEN A FUCKING LOT EASIER THAN COMING OVER AND SEEING FOR HIMSELF. 179 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,462 OKAY, BUT HE DID COME OVER THAT NIGHT. 180 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,665 SO, YEAH, HE CALLED THE AMBULANCE, SO WHAT? 181 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:35,002 HE HAPPENED TO DROP IN ONE NIGHT WHEN-- 182 00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:38,371 MAYBE HE CAME OVER TO SEE HIS BOYS AND HIS WIFE 183 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,107 BECAUSE IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE. 184 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:42,743 WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE IF HE WAS THERE ONE FUCKING NIGHT? 185 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:46,479 WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHER NIGHTS? THE NIGHTS WHEN HE WAS OFF WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND 186 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,349 WHEN I WAS AT HOME, GUARDING MY MOTHER? 187 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:52,686 ALL THOSE OTHER NIGHTS, WHERE WAS YOUR BROTHER? 188 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:56,023 - HE'S OLDER THAN YOU. - YEAH, HE PLAYED-- 189 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,258 - HE PLAYED SPORTS. - WHAT KIND OF SPORTS? 190 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:01,128 - BASEBALL. - DID YOU EVER SEE HIM PLAY? 191 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:04,732 NO, I DIDN'T. CAN YOU SEE ME TRYING TO DRAG THIS LONELY, CRYING WOMAN 192 00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:07,500 OUT TO A BALLPARK? 193 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:12,205 SO YOUR FATHER WAS AT WORK, YOUR BROTHER WAS AT SPORTS 194 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,241 AND YOU WERE ON DUTY. 195 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,009 AFTER MY FATHER LEFT, 196 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,812 PATRICK DIDN'T EVEN SLEEP AT HOME VERY MUCH. 197 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,314 - WHERE DID HE GO? - I DON'T KNOW. FRIENDS, I SUPPOSED. 198 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:24,484 - DO YOU REMEMBER ANY OF THEIR NAMES? - WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS? 199 00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:27,755 I'M WONDERING IF YOUR BROTHER WAS ACTUALLY HOME. 200 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,423 COULD YOU HAVE AIR-BRUSHED HIM OUT TOO? 201 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:33,393 YOU THINK THAT THEY WERE BOTH THERE UNDER THE TREE WRAPPING GIFTS? 202 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:37,765 OH, PAUL, OUR MEMORIES CAN BE VERY UNRELIABLE. 203 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:41,769 WE LIKE TO THINK OF THEM AS INDELIBLE RECORDS OF OUR PAST, 204 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:46,006 BUT EVERY TIME WE PULL OUT A SCENE, 205 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:49,442 WE FIDDLE WITH IT A LITTLE BIT BEFORE WE PUT IT BACK IN. 206 00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:54,748 YOU KNOW, IF WE HATE OUR HUSBAND NOW, 207 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:58,718 WE RE-REMEMBER THE WEDDING AS LESS JOYOUS, 208 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:02,790 OR WE SAY, "HE WAS NEVER THE RIGHT ONE FOR ME ANYWAY." 209 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:06,760 WE'RE CONSTANTLY ALTERING OUR MEMORIES SO THE PAST 210 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,096 WON'T CONFLICT WITH THE PRESENT. 211 00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:16,203 YEAH, MY MEMORY IS FUCKED. SO WHAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD REALLY LIKE, GINA? 212 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:20,440 NO, PLEASE, I'M NOT QUESTIONING YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD. 213 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,576 THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY ACCURATE. 214 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:27,680 I'M JUST WONDERING ON THIS, YOU KNOW, PARTICULAR NIGHT 215 00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:30,183 THAT MAYBE SOME OF THE FACTS 216 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,252 AREN'T WHAT YOU THINK THEY ARE. 217 00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:36,824 GINA, I'M FAMILIAR WITH THE WHOLE NOTION OF A SCREEN MEMORY, YEAH. 218 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,358 OKAY, OF COURSE YOU ARE. 219 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,161 SO THEN YOU KNOW YOUR CHRISTMAS EVE MEMORY 220 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,831 TELLS US ABOUT THAT WHOLE PERIOD OF YOUR CHILDHOOD, 221 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,532 NOT JUST ONE NIGHT. 222 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,370 YOU WERE OVERWHELMED. 223 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,440 YOU FELT THAT YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW 224 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:56,209 - HOW MUCH TROUBLE SHE WAS IN. - MY FATHER KNEW, 225 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,979 - HE JUST DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT. - ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 226 00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,414 IF HE CARED, HE WOULD HAVE PUT HER IN AN INSTITUTION. 227 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,184 HE'D HAVE GOTTEN HER HELP-- WHICH HE FINALLY HAD TO DO 228 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,220 BUT NOT BEFORE I SPENT EVERY DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL 229 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,323 HAVING NO IDEA OF WHAT I WAS GOING TO FACE WHEN I CAME HOME. 230 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,792 WOULD ALL THE KNIVES BE STICKING OUT OF THE WALL? 231 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,427 WOULD THE BATHTUB BE OVERFLOWING? 232 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:17,064 WOULD SHE HAVE AN ELECTRICAL CORD AROUND HER NECK? 233 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:19,166 OR WOULD SHE SUDDENLY DECIDE TO TAKE IT UPON HERSELF 234 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:21,468 TO CLEAN AND PAINT THE HALL CLOSETS? 235 00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:28,741 WHY DO YOU THINK HE DIDN'T INSTITUTIONALIZE HER SOONER? 236 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:31,011 I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE HE NEEDED SOMEBODY 237 00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,146 TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS. 238 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:36,283 OR MAYBE HE DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE YOUR MOM AWAY FROM YOU. 239 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,718 OR YOU AWAY FROM HER. 240 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,787 HOW ABOUT HE AND MY BROTHER IGNORED HER, 241 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,990 UNTIL SHE FINALLY HAD TO TRY TO KILL HERSELF 242 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,624 TO GET THEM TO COME HOME? 243 00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:46,459 YOU KNOW, PAUL, 244 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,129 ONE OF THE CONFUSING THINGS 245 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,631 ABOUT EMOTIONAL INJURY IN FAMILIES 246 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:55,068 IS THAT IT CAN FEEL SO UNFAIR, IT CAN FEEL SO RANDOM. 247 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,137 IT'S LIKE AN AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT: 248 00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:01,074 EVERYBODY'S IN THE CAR, BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WENT THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD. 249 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,277 WELL, ACTUALLY IT WAS MY MOTHER WHO WENT THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD. 250 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,881 AND YOU TRIED TO GRAB HER, BUT, PAUL-- 251 00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,083 COULD YOU LOOK AT ME? 252 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:17,557 YOU WERE IN THE BACKSEAT. ALL YOU COULD DO WAS WATCH. 253 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:23,030 AND MY BROTHER WALKS AWAY WITHOUT A SCRATCH. 254 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,998 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE SUFFERED. 255 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,599 MY FATHER WAS IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT, 256 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,069 STRUGGLING TO KEEP OUR LITTLE FAMILY FROM CRASHING. 257 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:34,274 - IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING? - YES, I SUPPOSE THAT'S WHAT HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING. 258 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,746 IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO NOW 259 00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,982 WITH YOUR FAMILY? 260 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,851 YOU KNOW, COMING DOWN TO SEE THE KIDS EVERY WEEKEND, 261 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,453 CALLING THEM EVERY DAY? 262 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:51,124 HE WAS NOTHING LIKE ME AND I AM NOTHING LIKE HIM. 263 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,260 PAUL, YOU'RE WORKING VERY HARD TO KEEP 264 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,963 FROM TAKING IN ANY GOOD INFORMATION ABOUT HIM. 265 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:57,931 TELL ME WHY THE HELL I WOULD DO THAT? 266 00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:01,168 I MEAN, IF HE WAS HALF-DECENT, I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IT. 267 00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:04,871 HE NEVER DID ONE FUCKING THING TO HELP. 268 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:08,208 BUT TAMMY JUST TOLD YOU A GOOD THING HE DID: 269 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,210 CHECKING UP ON YOU FROM DOWN THE HALL. 270 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,712 ( scoffs ) WHAT DOES TAMMY KNOW? 271 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,781 HE WAS PROBABLY FLIRTING WITH HER ANYWAY. 272 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,184 YOUR DAD WAS FLIRTING WITH TAMMY? 273 00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:19,286 HE'S A FUCKING DOCTOR. THEY'RE ALL FLIRTS. 274 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,888 THE WHOLE TIME I WAS GROWING UP, HE WAS ALWAYS... 275 00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,823 ( exhales ) 276 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,126 HE WAS ALWAYS WHAT? 277 00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:28,661 YOU KNOW-- WELL, IT'S JUST A MEMORY OF MINE, 278 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,363 EXCUSE ME, SO IT CAN'T BE TRUSTED. 279 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,566 - ARE YOU AFRAID TO SAY IT? - HE WAS ALWAYS-- 280 00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:37,637 - WITH OTHER WOMEN. - HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? 281 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,040 OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU HOW I KNOW. 282 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,142 I WAS 10 YEARS OLD. 283 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:45,245 MY MOTHER WAS YELLING AT HIM BECAUSE HE WAS-- 284 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,647 SCREWING THIS NURSE 285 00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:51,184 AND SHE WANTED HIM TO LOOK AT THE EFFECT THAT IT WAS HAVING ON ME 286 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:54,054 SO SHE PUSHED ME AT HIM, HARD, 287 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:57,057 AND I HIT A TABLE AND I SPLIT MY FOREHEAD WIDE OPEN 288 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,026 AND HE SEWED ME UP. 289 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,728 SO YOU'RE RIGHT. HE WASN'T COMPLETELY USELESS. 290 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:04,531 ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? 291 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:09,269 THESE FIGHTS ABOUT OTHER WOMEN, 292 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,671 THEY WENT ON FOR A LONG TIME. 293 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,606 OH, EARLY AND OFTEN. 294 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:17,177 I THOUGHT THAT THE FIGHTS BEGAN AFTER YOUR FATHER LEFT HER. 295 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,748 IT SEEMS THAT THEY WERE HAVING TROUBLE BEFORE HE LEFT HER, 296 00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:23,383 BEFORE SHE GOT SICK. 297 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,386 MAYBE HIS FUCKING AROUND MADE HER SICK. 298 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,422 - HIS FUCKING AROUND MADE HER SICK? - THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 299 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,691 CHRIST! YOU KNOW WHAT? NO WONDER MY PATIENTS 300 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:35,128 COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS. WOULD YOU STOP REPEATING WHAT I'M SAYING? 301 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,764 JUST SAY SOMETHING ELSE. 302 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:42,135 I KNOW IT'S IRRITATING, BUT I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT I UNDERSTAND. 303 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:45,305 - FINE FINE. - SO YOU BELIEVE 304 00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,874 THAT YOUR FATHER'S INFIDELITY CAUSED-- 305 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:50,510 DROVE MY MOTHER CRAZY, YES. 306 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,948 WHEN YOUR MOTHER WAS FINALLY ADMITTED, 307 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,685 WASN'T SHE DIAGNOSED WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER? 308 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:02,489 - YES. - IN YOUR EXPERIENCE, CAN BIPOLAR DISORDER 309 00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,725 BE CAUSED BY THE INFIDELITY OF A SPOUSE? 310 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,395 NO, GINA, BIPOLAR DISORDER 311 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:11,731 IS NOT CAUSED BY EVENTS IN A PATIENT'S LIFE. 312 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:15,435 EVENTS CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BIPOLAR. 313 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,371 NO, I KNOW THAT MUCH. 314 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,674 THAT'S HOW I FELT LAST YEAR WHEN KATE WAS 315 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,443 WITH HER LOVER. 316 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:27,314 BUT NO, INFIDELITY CAN'T MAKE YOU BIPOLAR. 317 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,716 YOU EITHER ARE BIPOLAR OR YOU'RE NOT. 318 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:33,486 BUT-- 319 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:42,028 IF YOUR WIFE 320 00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:44,631 WAS BIPOLAR, IT-- 321 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,700 COULD MAKE YOU 322 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,769 WANT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR. 323 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,709 YEAH, IT COULD. 324 00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,146 ESPECIALLY IF YOU WERE A DOCTOR 325 00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:02,215 AND YOUR WIFE'S MENTAL ILLNESS MADE YOU FEEL INADEQUATE, 326 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:06,719 HELPLESS, INCAPABLE OF HELPING THE PERSON 327 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,655 THAT YOU WERE CLOSEST TO. 328 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:12,159 AND SINCE HE COULDN'T HEAL HER, HE LEFT HER FOR ANOTHER WOMAN. 329 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:15,395 AND HE LEFT HER WITH ME. 330 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,566 DO YOU THINK I'M A THERAPIST TODAY 331 00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:22,235 BECAUSE I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT MY INABILITY 332 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,704 - TO HEAL MY MOTHER? - NO, I DON'T. 333 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,673 GOOD. 334 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,976 I THINK YOU FELT YOUR MOTHER'S ILLNESS DEEPLY. 335 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:34,514 AND I THINK EVEN AS A CHILD, YOU HAD AN EMPATHIC RESPONSE TO SUFFERING. 336 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:38,318 BUT YOU WERE TOO YOUNG AND SO YOU WENT TO SCHOOL. 337 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,620 YOU WORKED, YOU STUDIED, YOU THOUGHT. 338 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,890 AND NOW WHEN PEOPLE COME TO YOU, YOU CAN HELP THEM. 339 00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:48,195 BUT YOU'RE NOT A THERAPIST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU FAILED YOUR MOTHER. 340 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:51,564 YOU WERE A BOY, PAUL. YOU WERE IN THE BACKSEAT. 341 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:56,403 YOU TRIED TO GRAB HER, BUT SHE WAS ALREADY GONE. 342 00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,640 YEAH. 343 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,577 ( softly ) YEAH. 344 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,816 HMPH. 345 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:13,453 SO I HAVE THIS-- I HAVE THIS-- I HAVE THIS PATIENT OLIVER. 346 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:16,456 HE'S A KID WHO'S TRYING TO SURVIVE HIS PARENTS' DIVORCE. 347 00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:21,328 AND IT'S TAKING EVERYTHING I HAVE 348 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:24,264 NOT TO INVITE HIM TO COME LIVE WITH ME. 349 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:29,402 I KNOW WHAT HE NEEDS AND I WANT TO GIVE IT TO HIM. 350 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,605 IT'S THE SAME WITH APRIL AND HER CANCER. 351 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:38,110 I JUST WANT TO STOP THEM ALL GOING THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD. 352 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:42,615 DOES OLIVER REMIND YOU OF YOU? 353 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,719 YEAH, NEITHER OF US-- NEITHER OF US 354 00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:49,289 KNOWS HOW TO BE AROUND OUR FATHERS. 355 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:52,659 I MEAN, I HAVE AN IDEA, 356 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:55,562 BUT IT'S THE SAME IDEA 357 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,565 I'VE HAD SINCE I WAS OLIVER'S AGE. 358 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:04,437 I THINK OF MY FATHER AND HE'S STILL SCREWING HIS GIRLFRIEND 359 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,474 AND I'M STILL SCARED TO DEATH THAT MY MOTHER'S GOING TO DIE. 360 00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,381 ONLY SHE'S ALREADY DEAD. 361 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:19,419 AND HE'S ALMOST DEAD. 362 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,890 AND I'M ABOUT TO BECOME THE ORPHAN I'VE ALWAYS FELT 363 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,493 I WAS FOR 40 YEARS. 364 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,162 I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO WELL BY OLIVER. 365 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:33,700 HMMM, THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE. 366 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,704 MAYBE THE BOY THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO BE GOOD TO 367 00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:39,939 IS YOURSELF. 368 00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:42,375 TAKE ME OUT TO A BALLGAME. 369 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,544 SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 370 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,683 MAYBE WHAT I OUGHT TO DO FIRST IS... 371 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,521 BE A GOOD SON TO MY FATHER. 372 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,757 - WHAT WOULD THAT ENTAIL? - I DON'T KNOW, JUST GO SEE THE MAN. 373 00:20:59,326 --> 00:21:01,728 SEE HOW OFF HE REALLY IS, MAYBE. 374 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,864 READ HIM THE SPORTS PAGE. 375 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:06,966 WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN TO SEE HIM THIS TIME? 376 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:11,471 BECAUSE I'M BUSY-- I'M SEEING THE KIDS AND I'VE GOT PATIENTS. 377 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,277 ACTUALLY THE TRUTH IS I DON'T WANT TO GO. 378 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,949 HE STINKS 379 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,452 AND HE LOOKS LIKE HELL. 380 00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:31,391 I'LL PROBABLY LOOK... 381 00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:34,527 LOOK BAD TOO WHEN I'M ABOUT TO DIE. 382 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:38,197 I WONDER IF MY KIDS WILL COME AND SEE ME 383 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,733 WHEN I'M WHERE HE IS. 384 00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:46,973 WHAT IF THEY FEEL ABOUT ME THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT HIM? 385 00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:49,676 - WHAT DO THEY FEEL ABOUT YOU, PAUL? - I DON'T KNOW. 386 00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:53,079 THEY'RE SO MAD IT'S HARD TO TELL HOW THEY FEEL. 387 00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:55,382 THEY'RE MAD AT YOU, PAUL? 388 00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:57,450 THAT'S WHAT THEY FEEL? 389 00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:04,290 AND WHAT IF I'M JUST LIKE HIM? 390 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,793 I-- I MEAN, DID-- DID THEY FEEL 391 00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:11,731 THAT THEY HAD TO COMPETE WITH MY PATIENTS FOR MY ATTENTION? 392 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:15,234 HAVE I TOO LEFT MY YOUNG SON HOME ALONE WITH HIS MOTHER? 393 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,169 WHAT DO THE KIDS UNDERSTAND ABOUT WHY 394 00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:19,071 YOU AND KATE ARE DIVORCING? 395 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,374 OH, KATE AND I SET THEM DOWN 396 00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:23,710 AND SAID THE DIVORCE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. 397 00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:27,213 IT WAS ABOUT A SENTENCE LONGER THAN WHAT MY MOTHER SAID TO ME, 398 00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:29,849 WHICH WAS, "YOUR FATHER'S MOVING OUT." 399 00:22:31,651 --> 00:22:34,454 I'M SURE THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND IT ANY MORE THAN I DID. 400 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:45,398 I THINK I HAVE TO TALK TO THEM, 401 00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:49,702 YOU KNOW, REALLY TALK TO THEM. 402 00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:55,875 AND I SHOULD... 403 00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:00,112 I SHOULD TALK TO MY FATHER TOO. 404 00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,016 YOU KNOW, JUST-- 405 00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:06,085 TALK TO HIM. 406 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,928 OKAY. 407 00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,801 SO, UM, 408 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:24,571 I'VE... 409 00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:27,540 I'VE GOT MY HOMEWORK TO DO. 410 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,376 AND NEXT WEEK WE'LL TALK ABOUT TAMMY. 411 00:23:30,477 --> 00:23:32,812 WHAT DO YOU MEAN TALK ABOUT TAMMY? 412 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:35,448 GOODBYE, PAUL. 413 00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:50,930 ( theme music playing )