1
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,643
( types )

2
00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:13,214
( knocks on door )

3
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:33,334
I KNOW I'M EARLY,
BUT IT'S COLD IN
THE WAITING ROOM.

4
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,337
- CAN I COME INSIDE?
- SURE.

5
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:40,074
I HAVE TO LEAVE
THIS ON.

6
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:42,376
DANIEL MIGHT CALL
AND IF HE DOES,

7
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,145
I'LL HAVE TO GO.

8
00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:49,617
( theme music playing )

9
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:11,205
- HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
- I'M FINE.

10
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,776
GOOD.

11
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:20,581
SO HOW DID
THE CONVERSATION GO
WITH YOUR MOTHER?

12
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,083
I TOLD YOU I'D CALL YOU
AFTER IT WAS OVER.

13
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,918
I DIDN'T HEAR
FROM YOU.

14
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,255
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
THE CONVERSATION?

15
00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:28,656
NO.

16
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,359
SHE WAS DRIVING WHEN
YOU CALLED HER, RIGHT?

17
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:35,396
- RIGHT.
- DID SHE CALL YOU BACK?

18
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:39,533
- DID YOU ANSWER?
- OF COURSE I ANSWERED.
DON'T I ALWAYS ANSWER?

19
00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:43,371
( stammers )
I COULDN'T TELL HER.

20
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:47,141
- WHY NOT?
- I WASN'T IN A PLACE
WHERE I COULD TALK.

21
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,577
OH, WHERE WERE YOU?

22
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,382
THE LOBBY
OF SLOAN-KETTERING.

23
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:57,651
I JUST WENT TO SEE
HOW IT WOULD FEEL.

24
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,753
AND...

25
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,955
HOW DID IT FEEL?

26
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,692
LIKE GOING
TO A HOTEL.

27
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:08,696
LIKE CHECKING
INTO ONE OF THOSE
FANCY AIRPORT HOTELS

28
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,265
IN A CITY WHERE
NOBODY ACTUALLY LIVES.

29
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,634
THERE WAS THIS GIRL
BEHIND THE DESK.

30
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,269
SHE WAS LIKE MY AGE.

31
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:18,772
SHE SMILED AT ME
AND SHE WAS LIKE,

32
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,708
"CAN I HELP YOU?"

33
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,844
AND I KNOW
THAT'S JUST SOMETHING
YOU SAY TO PEOPLE,

34
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:27,581
BUT I SORT OF TOOK HER
AT FACE VALUE
IN THE MOMENT

35
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:30,017
AND I WAS LIKE,

36
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:32,920
"CAN SHE HELP ME?

37
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,189
NO, PROBABLY NOT.

38
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,158
I MEAN, SHE DOESN'T KNOW
HOW TO CURE CANCER."

39
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:41,094
BUT STILL, SHE DEALS
WITH IT EVERY DAY.

40
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:44,532
THE MINUTE
SHE LOOKED AT YOU,
SHE MUST HAVE KNOWN.

41
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,267
ARE YOU TELLING ME
THAT SHE DIDN'T--

42
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,669
WELL, MY MOM,
SHE CALLED BACK

43
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,405
AND I HAD TO LEAVE
TO GET RECEPTION.

44
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:57,245
SHE WAS LIKE,
"WHERE ARE YOU?
YOU SOUND FUNNY."

45
00:02:57,345 --> 00:03:00,013
AND I WAS LIKE,

46
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:03,284
"WELL, MOM, I'M--

47
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,886
I'M ACTUALLY
A LITTLE SICK."

48
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:09,657
SO SHE STARTED
TO LECTURE ME ON HOW I
DON'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

49
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:12,460
I DON'T WASH MY HANDS
WHEN I GET OFF OF THE SUBWAY

50
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,195
AND I NEED
TO STOP BITING MY NAILS

51
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,930
BECAUSE I'M A GROWNUP.

52
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,734
- SHE WAS REALLY STRESSED OUT.
- WHY WAS SHE STRESSED OUT?

53
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,872
DANIEL TRIED
TO KILL HIMSELF...

54
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,807
AGAIN.

55
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:32,012
I'M SORRY
TO HEAR THAT.

56
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,014
LAST WEEK YOU SAID
HE WAS DOING BETTER.

57
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,650
YEAH, WELL,
I SHOULD'VE REALIZED THAT
THAT WAS A WARNING SIGN.

58
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,953
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- HE TRIED TO JUMP
OFF THE ROOF.

59
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,393
ANYWAY, HE'S MEETING NOW
WITH ONE OF HIS OLD TEACHERS--

60
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:48,862
THIS MIRACLE WORKER--

61
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,798
MR. HEATH.

62
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:56,036
HE'S THE ANNE SULLIVAN

63
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,538
TO DANIEL'S
HELEN KELLER.

64
00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:00,274
HE TEACHES
AT THIS SPECIAL SCHOOL

65
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,610
FOR AUTISTIC BOYS.

66
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:05,546
MY PARENTS SENT
DANIEL THERE WHEN
HE WAS 10.

67
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,649
THEY TOOK OUT
A SECOND MORTGAGE
TO PAY FOR IT,

68
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,784
BECAUSE THINGS
HAD GOTTEN SO BAD.

69
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:15,756
DANIEL HAD
THESE TWO BALD SPOTS

70
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,959
ON EITHER SIDE OF HIS HEAD
FROM HITTING HIMSELF.

71
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,295
THE HAIR JUST
STOPPED GROWING IN.

72
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:27,635
AND WHAT WAS IT
THAT THIS

73
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:31,071
MR. HEATH DID
FOR DANIEL?

74
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,341
HE GOT DANIEL TO

75
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:35,709
WEAR A HELMET
FOR A WHILE.

76
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,279
AND DANIEL THOUGHT
THE HELMET

77
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,882
GAVE HIM
SPECIAL POWERS.

78
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:45,919
- HE THOUGHT IT MADE HIM--
- WHAT?

79
00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:49,523
IT MADE HIM
WHAT, APRIL?

80
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:53,427
JUST STAY WITH THE THOUGHT.
IT MADE HIM WHAT?

81
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,799
HE THOUGHT
IT MADE HIM SMART.

82
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,608
ANYWAY...

83
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:12,380
HE'S SUPPOSED TO CALL ME
AFTER THE MEETING'S OVER,

84
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,416
SO I MIGHT HAVE
TO GO PICK HIM UP.

85
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,117
WELL, CAN'T YOUR
MOTHER DO THAT?

86
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,753
SHE-- SHE'S BUSY?

87
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:22,423
NO, SHE--

88
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,459
SHE CAN'T DEAL WITH HIM--
NOT WHEN HE'S THIS BAD.

89
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:28,028
- NOT WHEN HE WANTS TO DIE.
- DID HE ACTUALLY SAY THAT?

90
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,030
"I WANT TO DIE"?

91
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,600
NO, HE SAYS

92
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:36,870
HE WANTS
TO TURN INTO A CLOUD
AND FLOAT AWAY,

93
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,807
BUT HE KNOWS WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN TO HIM IF
HE STEPPED OFF A BUILDING.

94
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:42,643
HE'S NOT STUPID.
HE JUST-- HE GETS SO TIRED

95
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:45,312
OF EVERYTHING
FEELING SO STRANGE.

96
00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,748
MM-HMM.

97
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,283
WELL, RIGHT NOW

98
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,453
THE WORLD MUST SEEM

99
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:55,589
PRETTY STRANGE
TO YOU AS WELL.

100
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,525
YEAH.

101
00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:00,327
AND YOU'RE
GOING IT ALONE,

102
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:03,163
WITHOUT ANY MR. HEATH

103
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,098
TO SAVE YOU.

104
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,968
ISN'T THAT SUPPOSED
TO BE YOUR JOB?

105
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,803
YES, IT IS.

106
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,239
BUT IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN,
I CAN'T HELP YOU.

107
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,442
AND THAT SCARES ME,

108
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,610
BECAUSE I'M AFRAID
THAT IF YOU DON'T,

109
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,379
WE'LL WASTE THE LITTLE TIME
THAT WE HAVE LEFT.

110
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,316
JESUS.

111
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:25,553
KIND OF BLUNT TODAY,
AREN'T YOU?

112
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:32,292
I THINK
I'M DEPRESSED.

113
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,628
OKAY.
TELL ME WHY.

114
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,864
PROBABLY BECAUSE
I HAVE CANCER.

115
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,932
RIGHT.

116
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:45,072
BUT CAN YOU TELL ME
WHAT YOU'RE FEELING?

117
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,509
I'M NOT FEELING
ANYTHING.

118
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,712
I'M JUST
SORT OF SICK

119
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,013
AND TIRED

120
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,750
AND JUST...

121
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,886
I DON'T KNOW,
JUST KIND OF DISGUSTED

122
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,454
WITH EVERYTHING.

123
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,656
I'LL BE BRUSHING
MY TEETH

124
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,158
AND I'LL LOOK
AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR

125
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:09,463
AND SUDDENLY
I'LL LOOK SO UGLY,

126
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,331
JUST AWFUL.

127
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,134
AND BEFORE I KNOW IT

128
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,936
I'M ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR,

129
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:19,072
JUST STARTING AT THE LINT
IN THE BATH MAT

130
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,942
AND I HAVE NO IDEA

131
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,944
HOW I'M GOING TO GET
BACK UP AGAIN.

132
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:27,748
WELL, THAT SOUNDS
LIKE DEPRESSION.

133
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,654
IT ALSO MIGHT BE
WHAT HAPPENS

134
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,123
WHEN YOU FEEL
THAT THINGS ARE

135
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,926
SLIPPING OUT
OF YOUR CONTROL.

136
00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:41,128
IT'S HORRIBLE.

137
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:43,997
WHEN YOU'RE FEELING
LIKE THAT, I WANT YOU
TO CALL ME.

138
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,933
WHY?

139
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,102
LISTEN TO ME.
I DON'T CARE WHAT TIME
OF THE DAY OR NIGHT IT IS,

140
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,839
YOU CALL ME.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.

141
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:55,876
YOU WANT TO TALK
TO ME WHEN I'M ON
THE BATHROOM FLOOR?

142
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,745
ANY TIME.

143
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,850
OKAY.

144
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,256
I SAW MY MOM
LAST WEEK

145
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,124
FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN A WHILE.

146
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:13,661
SHE TOOK ME
TO BRUNCH.

147
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:17,965
OH. AND WHAT
DID YOU TALK ABOUT?

148
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,067
MY BROTHER.

149
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:24,204
DID SHE NOTICE HOW--

150
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,439
HOW TIRED YOU LOOK?

151
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,642
I PUT ON SOME MAKEUP--

152
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:32,045
A LOT OF MAKEUP,
ACTUALLY.

153
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,414
SO YOU DIDN'T
WANT HER

154
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,617
TO NOT SEE YOU
AT YOUR BEST.

155
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,152
I ALWAYS TRY
TO LOOK GOOD
WHEN I SEE HER.

156
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:42,089
- WHY?
- IT MAKES HER
FEEL BETTER.

157
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,024
BUT THIS LAST TIME

158
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,459
I COULD'VE LOST
AN ARM AND SHE
WOULDN'T HAVE NOTICED.

159
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,296
- BECAUSE OF DANIEL.
- SORT OF.

160
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:54,534
ALSO SHE WANTS
TO LEAVE MY FATHER.

161
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:57,470
- DID SHE TELL YOU THAT?
- YEAH.

162
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,106
I MEAN,
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

163
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,975
SHE'S BEEN SAYING
THAT FOR AS LONG
AS I CAN REMEMBER.

164
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:06,013
"LIFE WOULD BE
SO MUCH EASIER
WITHOUT YOUR FATHER.

165
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,448
NEVER MARRY A WORKAHOLIC."
BLAH BLAH BLAH.

166
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,385
THE FUCKED UP THING
IS SHE DOESN'T ACTUALLY
WANT TO LEAVE HIM.

167
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,254
SHE'S CRAZY ABOUT HIM.

168
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,789
MM-HMM, SHE IS.

169
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,359
BUT SHE SAID
SHE WANTED TO LEAVE.

170
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,429
DO YOU THINK
IT'S POSSIBLE THAT

171
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,231
WHAT SHE WANTS TO LEAVE

172
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,299
IS DANIEL?

173
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,770
YOU KNOW, I THINK
YOUR MOTHER PASSES

174
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,772
A LOT OF HER
ANXIETY ON TO YOU.

175
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:35,475
BUT I DON'T THINK
THE RELATIONSHIP
IS BALANCED,

176
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,845
BECAUSE YOU DON'T PASS
YOUR PROBLEMS BACK TO HER.

177
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:41,048
I'M SORRY
I BROUGHT HER UP. IT'S...

178
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:52,025
YOU DON'T TALK
ABOUT YOUR DAD
A LOT IN HERE.

179
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,694
I KNOW.

180
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:56,997
I DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH
TO SAY ABOUT HIM.

181
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,768
HE'S NEVER AROUND.
HE'S ALWAYS AT THE HOSPITAL.

182
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:04,672
FOR A WHILE
WHEN WE WERE YOUNG...

183
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,307
DANIEL KEPT FORGETTING
WHO HE WAS.

184
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,176
HE'D CALL HIM MISTER,

185
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,078
LIKE, "HEY, MISTER."

186
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,881
BUT DANIEL KEPT
GETTING WORSE

187
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,683
AS HE GOT OLDER AND MY
DAD COULDN'T HANDLE IT

188
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:18,218
- AND HE JUST CHECKED OUT.
- ON BOTH OF YOU?

189
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,588
NO.

190
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:23,390
HE AND I HAVE
OUR OWN RELATIONSHIP.

191
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,259
I USED TO
WAIT UP FOR HIM

192
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,828
UNTIL HE CAME HOME.

193
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:31,131
I'D SIT WITH HIM
WHILE HE ATE HIS DINNER.

194
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,701
HE'D TALK ABOUT HIS DAY,
HIS PATIENTS.

195
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:36,837
SO HE TREATED YOU
LIKE AN ADULT.

196
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:40,674
- IT WAS NICE.
- IT SOUNDS LIKE
HE UNDERSTANDS YOU.

197
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,743
BUT HE DIDN'T RAISE ME.

198
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,713
HE JUST GOT TO SWEEP IN
AT THE END OF THE DAY

199
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,881
AND TALK
TO THE HEALTHY CHILD
FOR 15 MINUTES.

200
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,018
SHE WAS WITH DANIEL
DAY IN AND DAY OUT.

201
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,987
DO YOU THINK PART
OF THE REASON THAT YOU
TREASURED THOSE MOMENTS

202
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:58,025
WAS BECAUSE YOUR DAD WAS
TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING
OTHER THAN DANIEL?

203
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,594
- SHE NEEDS TO TALK TO SOMEONE.
- OF COURSE. I UNDERSTAND THAT,

204
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,563
BUT WHY COULDN'T
SHE TELL A FRIEND?

205
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,899
IT WASN'T
ANYBODY ELSE'S BUSINESS.

206
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,468
IT'S OKAY, PAUL.

207
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,237
I COULD HANDLE IT.

208
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,105
I WANTED
TO HANDLE IT.

209
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,207
SHE GETS OVERWHELMED.
SHE NEEDS TO VENT.

210
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,778
SO AFTER SHE VENTS
AND SHE PUTS THE STRESS,
THE DISAPPOINTMENT

211
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,147
AND THE WORRY
OF HER OWN LIFE
ON YOUR SHOULDERS,

212
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,482
WHO DO YOU TURN TO?

213
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:25,085
OR DO YOU JUST
CARRY IT WITH YOU,

214
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,255
- YOUR BURDEN AND HERS?
- ARE WE OUT OF TIME?

215
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:31,691
NO NO, WE DON'T HAVE
TO WORRY ABOUT THE TIME.

216
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,495
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN--

217
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:39,132
I'VE BEEN
READING UP ON AUTISM

218
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:43,603
AND IT SEEMS LIKE THERE'S
SOME PRETTY PROMISING
RESEARCH COMING OUT.

219
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,206
THERE'S NEVER
GONNA BE A CURE.

220
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,075
YOU SEEM PRETTY CERTAIN
ABOUT THAT.

221
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:51,311
IT'S NOT A DISEASE.
IF IT'S NOT A DISEASE,
THERE CAN'T BE A CURE.

222
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:54,882
ACTUALLY, SOME SCIENTISTS
SEEM TO BE RECONSIDERING
THAT ASSUMPTION.

223
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,784
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE
THEY'RE BEING FUNDED

224
00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:58,886
BY RICH, DESPERATE PEOPLE.

225
00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:02,890
AUTISTIC CHILDREN
DON'T GET BETTER,
THEY JUST GET OLDER.

226
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:07,227
I-- I'M SORRY
IF THAT SOUNDS CYNICAL.

227
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,996
NO, IT DOESN'T.

228
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:12,065
BUT YOU'RE RIGHT.
THOSE CHILDREN EVENTUALLY
BECOME ADULTS

229
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,567
AND THEIR--
THEIR PARENTS DIE.

230
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,970
AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS

231
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,406
IT FALLS ON SOMEBODY ELSE
TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.

232
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:23,844
IN DANIEL'S CASE,
THAT WOULD BE YOU, APRIL,

233
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,948
FOR THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE.

234
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,422
I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON.

235
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,490
WHY WOULD
YOU SAY THAT?

236
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:43,730
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO DO IT.

237
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:46,466
HE RUINED THEIR LIVES.
HE RUINED THEIR MARRIAGE.

238
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:50,503
YOU CAN'T--
YOU CAN'T GIVE DANIEL
WHAT HE NEEDS

239
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,339
AND HAVE ANY SPACE
FOR ANYONE ELSE.

240
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,542
WELL, YOUR MOTHER COULDN'T,
BUT YOU'RE NOT YOUR MOTHER.

241
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:57,878
YOU CAN MAKE
DIFFERENT CHOICES.

242
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,113
SHE DIDN'T MAKE ANY CHOICES.
SHE GOT STUCK.

243
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,449
SHE DID, APRIL.
BUT EVERY LIFE IS--

244
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:04,684
IT'S A CONSTELLATION
OF CHOICES.

245
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,087
NOBODY ESCAPES
MAKING THEM.

246
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:10,157
YOU MOTHER MADE CHOICES
THAT KEPT HER LOCKED
INTO DANIEL.

247
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:12,359
YOU CAN CHOOSE
DIFFERENTLY.

248
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:15,762
- HE'S MY BROTHER.
- I'M NOT SUGGESTING
THAT YOU ABANDON HIM,

249
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:18,966
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS
FOR EITHER OF YOU.

250
00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:21,201
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT SORT OF INNOVATIONS

251
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,336
ARE GONNA COME ALONG
IN THE TREATMENT OF AUTISM.

252
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,572
- BUT--
- YOU'RE NOT PSYCHIC, APRIL.

253
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,407
YOU CAN'T PREDICT
THE FUTURE.

254
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,376
YOU CAN'T CONTROL IT.

255
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,044
THE ONLY THING
YOU CAN DO

256
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,914
IN RELATION
TO THE FUTURE NOW

257
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:37,951
IS TO DECIDE
WHETHER OR NOT
YOU WANT TO BE IN IT.

258
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:52,632
- I LOOK LIKE
SUCH SHIT RIGHT NOW.
- OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.

259
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,235
WE HAVE TO START
TALKING NOW

260
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,538
- ABOUT CHEMO.
- ( phone rings )

261
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,075
HELLO? DANIEL?

262
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:05,478
HI, DANIEL.
HOW WAS YOUR MEETING?

263
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:07,380
YOU DIDN'T SEE
MR. HEATH?

264
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,517
WHERE ARE YOU?

265
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,386
OKAY, I'M GOING
TO CALL YOU BACK
IN JUST ONE MINUTE.

266
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,088
WILL YOU
PICK UP THE PHONE?

267
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,789
PROMISE?

268
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,526
- OKAY, BYE.
- ( phone beeps )

269
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:28,101
MR. HEATH.
HI, IT'S APRIL.

270
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:31,171
YEAH, I KNOW.
I JUST SPOKE TO HIM.

271
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,006
NO, HE'S FINE.

272
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,342
HE'S IN CENTRAL PARK.
HE'S AT THE SAILBOAT POND.

273
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,677
HE LIKES IT THERE.

274
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:40,280
OKAY, BUT IF I GO
AND GET HIM RIGHT NOW

275
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,015
COULD I STILL BRING HIM
TO SEE YOU TODAY?

276
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,251
DO YOU STILL HAVE TIME?

277
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:47,754
I'M IN BROOKLYN NOW,
SO IT'LL TAKE ME
A FEW HOURS.

278
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:50,924
OKAY, THANK YOU
SO MUCH. BYE.

279
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,260
- ( phone beeping )
- ( mutters )

280
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,832
DAMN IT, PICK UP.

281
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,801
COME ON, PICK UP.

282
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,404
DANIEL. HI.

283
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,406
I'M GONNA
COME AND MEET YOU
IN ABOUT AN HOUR,

284
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,375
BUT I WANT YOU TO STAY
RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.

285
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:11,178
OKAY, WILL YOU DO THAT?
WILL YOU STAY?

286
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,446
ALL RIGHT,
I'M GONNA SEE YOU SOON.

287
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,249
BYE.

288
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,953
APRIL? APRIL!

289
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,491
OH. WHAT HAPPENED?

290
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,128
- YOU FAINTED!
- WHAT?

291
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,230
- NO WAY.
- YES WAY.

292
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:34,067
YOU ARE SICK
AND YOU'RE NOT
TAKING CARE OF YOURSEL.

293
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:37,037
SIT DOWN!
YOU NEED TO EAT.

294
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,806
YOU NEED--
YOU NEED SUGAR
IN YOUR SYSTEM.

295
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,408
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT.

296
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,810
YOU'RE NOT CALLING
THE SHOTS NOW, I AM!

297
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,645
NOW YOU STAY THERE
AND YOU DON'T MOVE!

298
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:48,448
I JUST STOOD UP
TOO QUICKLY. I HAVE
REALLY LOW BLOOD SUGAR.

299
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:51,418
- I'M USED TO IT.
I'M FINE. REALLY.
- DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

300
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,987
YOU'RE TREATING ME
JUST THE WAY YOU TREAT
YOUR PARENTS.

301
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,688
CAN WE TALK
ABOUT IT NEXT WEEK?

302
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,125
ARE YOU SO AFRAID
THAT I WON'T BE ABLE
TO HELP YOU?

303
00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:01,261
- YEAH, I HAVE TO GO.
- TWO MINUTES AGO YOU WERE
PASSED OUT ON THE COUCH,

304
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:03,196
NOW YOU'RE OFF
TO SAVE THE WORLD.

305
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,398
I'M NOT GOING
TO SAVE THE WORLD.
I'M GOING TO SAVE MY BROTHER.

306
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,001
CALL YOUR MOTHER.
TELL HER TO GO GET HIM.

307
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,602
- NO.
- WHY NOT?

308
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,171
BECAUSE I CAN DO IT.

309
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,041
THERE HAS TO BE
ANOTHER OPTION.

310
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:17,110
YOU CAN'T TAKE CARE
OF EVERYTHING

311
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,012
AND EVERYBODY
ALL THE TIME.

312
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,014
LISTEN. IT'S OKAY
IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS.

313
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:24,184
- WHAT?
- I SAW HOW
YOU PANICKED THERE.

314
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:27,354
I GET IT.
IT'S SCARY WHAT I HAVE,
WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH.

315
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,989
YOU-- I DON'T HAVE
TO COME BACK HERE

316
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,924
IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT.

317
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:34,627
IS THAT WHAT
YOU THINK I WAS DOING?
YOU THINK I WAS PANICKING?

318
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,630
- COME ON, YOU FREAKED.
- OKAY, LET'S SAY I FREAKED.

319
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,600
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- THAT MEANS THAT I CAN'T
COME BACK HERE.

320
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,403
- WHY NOT?
- BECAUSE YOU CAN'T
HANDLE ME.

321
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,572
IT'S POSSIBLE
TO LIVE IN A WORLD

322
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,307
WHERE PEOPLE PANIC,

323
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,442
WHERE PEOPLE
LET EACH OTHER DOWN,

324
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,244
WHERE THEY DISAPPOINT
EACH OTHER

325
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,646
BUT STILL HELP
EACH OTHER.

326
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:56,583
I WILL GET SICKER
AND SICKER.

327
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:01,121
I'M GONNA
KEEP PASSING OUT
ON YOUR COUCH.

328
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,423
I'LL PROBABLY VOMIT
ON YOUR COUCH.

329
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,992
AND THEN EVENTUALLY
I'M GONNA DIE ON YOUR COUCH.

330
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,460
IS THAT REALLY
WHAT YOU WANT?

331
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,363
NO! I WANT YOU TO GO
TO CHEMOTHERAPY!

332
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,499
DO YOU--
DO YOU EVEN KNOW
WHAT CHEMO IS?!

333
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:16,035
IT IS POISON
THAT THEY ADMINISTER
DIRECTLY TO YOUR HEART!

334
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:20,006
THEY PUT THIS BIG PUMP
RIGHT TO YOUR HEART.

335
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,441
AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?

336
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,410
BECAUSE IF THEY
JUST GAVE YOU A SHOT

337
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,345
AND SOME OF IT GOT
UNDER YOUR SKIN,

338
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,480
IT WOULD MELT
YOUR FUCKING FLESH!

339
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,217
- THAT IS NOT
GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU!
- YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

340
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:32,519
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

341
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:35,288
YOU CAN'T STOP WHAT'S
GONNA HAPPEN TO ME.

342
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,458
THE-- THE--
THE NAUSEA

343
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,860
AND THE PAIN,

344
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,362
MY HAIR.

345
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:46,799
YOU'LL-- YOU'LL TELL ME
THAT LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

346
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,335
AND I HAVE TO BE BRAVE

347
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,703
AND I'LL SAY,
"YES YES YES,"
BLAH BLAH BLAH.

348
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:54,407
BUT I'LL BE LYING
AND YOU KNOW THAT
I'LL BE LYING.

349
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:57,910
AND ONE MORNING
YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP

350
00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:01,080
AND SAY TO YOURSELF,

351
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:04,517
"I JUST WISH

352
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,819
THAT FUCKING GIRL--

353
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,689
I JUST WISH
THAT FUCKING GIRL
WOULD LEAVE ME ALONE

354
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:12,559
SO I CAN BE HAPPY AGAIN."
YOU WON'T BE ABLE
TO HANDLE IT.

355
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,362
YOU WON'T.

356
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:18,831
SO TO HELP SOMEONE IS--

357
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,268
( clears throat )
IS TORTURE.

358
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:24,404
IT'S UNBELIEVABLY PAINFUL.
IT'S HELL.

359
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,239
YEAH?

360
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:28,275
IF YOU LET ME HELP YOU,

361
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,943
I WILL HATE YOU FOR IT.

362
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,045
YEAH?

363
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:36,749
AND I'LL--
I'LL PROBABLY
FAIL YOU ANYWAY.

364
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,252
YEAH?

365
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:44,424
( cell phone ringing )

366
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:57,704
HI, MOM.

367
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:02,575
UH, NO, HE DIDN'T.

368
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,979
I-- I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED.

369
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,848
HE'S IN CENTRAL PARK.

370
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:11,017
I WAS--

371
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,420
I WAS GONNA GO
AND GET HIM,

372
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,788
BUT I GOT STUCK
SOMEWHERE.

373
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,727
WELL, I'M IN BROOKLYN NOW.

374
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,762
COULD YOU GO GET HIM?

375
00:19:24,231 --> 00:19:27,099
UM, BECAUSE I CAN'T LEAVE.

376
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,337
NO, I CAN'T.

377
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,772
I CAN'T.

378
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,843
I CA--
I CAN'T, MO--

379
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,212
( beeps )

380
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,814
SHE--
SHE HUNG UP.

381
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:48,321
OUR TIME IS UP.

382
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:50,257
CAN YOU WAIT A MINUTE?
JUST SIT DOWN FOR A MINUTE.

383
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,891
DON'T YOU HAVE
ANOTHER PATIENT?

384
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,594
NO NO NO, I WANT
TO SAY SOMETHING
TO YOU. SIT DOWN.

385
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:55,995
LISTEN.

386
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:59,266
IF WE HAD MORE TIME,

387
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:03,236
WE COULD FIND A WAY
TO TELL YOUR MOTHER AND SEE
IF SHE COULD HANDLE IT.

388
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:06,406
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TIME.

389
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,941
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

390
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,978
AND, APRIL, I'M NOT GOING
TO SIT HERE WEEK AFTER WEEK

391
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:13,813
AND WATCH YOU
JUST SLIP AWAY.

392
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:18,217
WE HAVE TO BEGIN
TREATMENT TODAY, NOW.

393
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:21,053
I TRIED.
I TOLD YOU
I WENT THERE.

394
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,490
- I COULDN'T DO IT.
- LAST WEEK YOU SAID

395
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,925
THAT THE THINGS WE
DISCUSS IN THIS ROOM
MAKE SENSE

396
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:28,961
WHILE YOU'RE HERE,
AND THEN WHEN YOU LEAVE
EVERYTHING CHANGES.

397
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,530
- YEAH.
- YEAH?

398
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,366
WHAT IS IT
ABOUT THIS ROOM

399
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:36,636
THAT MAKES
THINGS SEEM...

400
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,605
DIFFERENT?

401
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,576
I DON'T KNOW.

402
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,745
THE ISOLATION,

403
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,647
THE DETACHMENT.

404
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,988
YOU.

405
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:05,264
WHAT IF I COME WITH YOU
TO THE HOSPITAL?

406
00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:09,769
WOULD YOU?

407
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,671
YES.

408
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:15,675
NOW?

409
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,610
YES.

410
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,846
RIGHT NOW.

411
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:54,414
( outer door shuts )

412
00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,983
( theme music playing )