1 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:13,481 ( pages turning ) 2 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:28,028 - YOU'RE NOT GOING IN WITH ME. - DAD, RELAX. 3 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,898 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU CAME UP. 4 00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,400 ( door opens ) 5 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,236 - HELLO, PAUL. - HELLO, WALTER. GOOD TO SEE YOU. 6 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,405 UH, YOU REMEMBER MY DAUGHTER NATALIE? 7 00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,240 OF COURSE. HOW ARE YOU, NATALIE? 8 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:42,376 - HE'S DOING MUCH BETTER. - ( laughs ) THANK YOU, NATALIE. 9 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,646 THEY WOULDN'T LET ME OUT OF THE LOONY BIN WITHOUT AN ESCORT. 10 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,086 ( theme music playing ) 11 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,481 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE HAPPY TO BE BACK HERE. 12 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,384 BUT IT FEELS GOOD TO GET OUT OF THAT PLACE, 13 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,253 EVEN IF IT'S ONLY FOR AN HOUR. 14 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,921 SO YOU HAVEN'T BEEN OUT AT ALL THIS WEEK? 15 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,757 UH, YEAH, A COUPLE OF TIMES. 16 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,927 CONNIE AND... 17 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:36,297 NATALIE TOOK ME TO LUNCH. 18 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,234 AND HOW WAS THAT? 19 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,903 IT WAS A CUTE LITTLE IRISH PLACE, ACTUALLY, 20 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,573 RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET. YOU PROBABLY WOULD HAVE LIKED IT. 21 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,876 I HAD STEW, 22 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,412 SODA BREAD. CONNIE CRIED. 23 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:55,015 I SAT THERE WONDERING IF EVERYONE IN THE RESTAURANT 24 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:59,420 MADE ME FOR A GUY BEING ON LUNCH-LEAVE FROM THE RUBBER ROOM. 25 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,490 I DOUBT THEY WERE THINKING THAT, WALTER. 26 00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:07,228 IT'S HUMILIATING. MY OWN DAUGHTER HAS TO SIGN ME OUT, 27 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:10,063 SIT IN YOUR WAITING ROOM, SIGN ME BACK IN 28 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,500 LIKE I'M A DANGER TO SOCIETY. 29 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,136 I THINK THE FEAR IS THAT YOU MIGHT BE A DANGER TO YOURSELF. 30 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:21,442 - CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING, PAUL? - SURE. 31 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:25,413 YOU SAID THAT THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEST FACILITIES IN THE CITY? 32 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:29,082 MM-HMM. IT IS VERY HIGHLY REGARDED. 33 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:30,918 THEN WHAT ARE THE REST OF THEM LIKE? 34 00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:35,323 I'M NOT COMPLAINING. YOU'VE BEEN THERE YOURSELF A FEW TIMES NOW. 35 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:38,158 IT'S CLEAN, WELL LIT. 36 00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,060 WALTER, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME 37 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,563 WHAT IT IS THAT BOTHERS YOU ABOUT THE PLACE? 38 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,997 OKAY. 39 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:46,234 IT'S THE STAFF: 40 00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,969 THE THERAPISTS, SOCIAL WORKERS. 41 00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:51,472 MAYBE I'VE BEEN SPOILED BY YOU, 42 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:54,174 BUT THESE PEOPLE, THEY JUST... 43 00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:55,976 THEY'RE JUST NOT VERY BRIGHT. 44 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:59,347 - HOW DO YOU MEAN? - WELL, YOU'RE EITHER BRIGHT OR YOU'RE NOT. 45 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,949 YOU CAN'T FAKE IT. 46 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:05,619 WHEN I TALK TO YOU I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF. 47 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:09,056 YOU LISTEN, YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING, 48 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,392 YOU RESPOND RIGHT AWAY. 49 00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:14,462 IF I MENTION A NAME EVEN ONCE, 50 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,997 YOU REMEMBER IT THE NEXT TIME. 51 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,500 THESE PEOPLE... 52 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,370 THEY'RE JUST NOT UP TO SPEED. 53 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,905 I HAVE TO BACKTRACK ALL THE TIME. 54 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:28,676 WELL, I THINK THAT YOU AND I HAVE A RELATIONSHIP, WALTER. 55 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:32,546 AND I CAN IMAGINE HOW FRUSTRATING IT MUST BE 56 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:35,283 TO COVER THE SAME GROUND THAT WE HAVE IN OUR SESSIONS. 57 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:37,951 YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THAT. 58 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:42,556 THEY TALK TO ME LIKE I'M A FOUR-YEAR-OLD-- OR MAYBE AN 80-YEAR-OLD 59 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,826 WHO HAS TO HAVE EVERYTHING EXPLAINED TO HIM 60 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,362 LOUDLY AND SLOWLY. 61 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:52,065 - SO YOU FEEL PATRONIZED. - YEAH, EXACTLY. SEE, THAT'S IT. 62 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,735 THAT'S WHAT I MEAN-- YOU UNDERSTAND ME. 63 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,638 WELL, TO BE HONEST, WALTER, THAT WASN'T A DIFFICULT ONE. 64 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:01,074 YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER FELT PATRONIZED BY YOU. 65 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:04,244 YOU RESPECTED ME, I RESPECTED YOU. 66 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,079 WE'RE EQUALS. 67 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:09,883 YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T REALLY GOTTEN THAT SENSE FROM YOU BEFORE, TO BE HONEST. 68 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,353 - YOU HAVEN'T? - ACTUALLY I'VE ALWAYS FELT 69 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,987 THAT I'VE KIND OF ANNOYED YOU, 70 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,924 THAT OUR TALKING TOGETHER WAS A WASTE OF YOUR TIME. 71 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:21,161 FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN I DRAW CONNECTIONS BETWEEN YOUR PAST AND YOUR PRESENT, 72 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,197 UH, YOU'VE BELITTLED THEM. 73 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,233 AND ME. 74 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,769 WELL, IF YOU FELT THAT WAY, I'M SORRY. 75 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:32,573 THE TRUTH IS THAT RIGHT FROM THAT FIRST BLINK TEST 76 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,608 I COULD SEE YOU WERE TOP NOTCH. 77 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,744 AND YET, I THINK I REMEMBER THAT 78 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:40,381 YOU QUESTIONED MY ACADEMIC CREDENTIALS. 79 00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:42,950 AND DIDN'T YOU RUN A BACKGROUND CHECK ON ME? 80 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:46,787 THERE'S THAT MEMORY OF YOURS-- IT WON'T LET GO OF ANY DETAILS. 81 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,157 YOU CAN SEE WHY I MIGHT BE A LITTLE SURPRISED TO HEAR 82 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,360 THAT YOU'RE NOW SINGING MY PRAISES. 83 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,563 BOY, YOU HAVE A HARD TIME TAKING A COMPLIMENT, DON'T YOU? 84 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,800 MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEBODY ABOUT THAT. 85 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:03,337 OKAY, SINCE 86 00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:06,273 YOU HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR MY 87 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,709 UNDERSTANDING OF YOU-- ( clears throat ) 88 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,945 - CAN I BE BLUNT? - ABSOLUTELY. 89 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:16,049 - WHY ARE YOU SUCKING UP TO ME? - EXCUSE ME? 90 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,351 I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT, WALTER. 91 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,787 I HAVE TRIED TO EMPATHIZE WITH YOU 92 00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,690 AND I KNOW THAT I'VE MADE SOME MISTAKES, 93 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:26,494 BUT I THINK I HAVE A PRETTY FAIR IDEA OF YOUR OPINION OF ME. 94 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:29,397 SO I'LL ASK YOU AGAIN: 95 00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:32,733 WHY ARE YOU SUCKING UP TO ME? 96 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,508 LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 97 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,278 WHAT-- WHAT IS IT? 98 00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:48,582 IT'S A POTHOLDER. I MADE IT MYSELF-- 99 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,452 IN OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY. 100 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:55,088 TOMORROW WE'RE GONNA GLUE LITTLE BITS OF TILE TOGETHER 101 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,791 AND MAKE COASTERS. 102 00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:01,495 I DON'T IMAGINE YOU'RE THE BEST CANDIDATE FOR OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY. 103 00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,998 WELL, I'M USED TO BEING THE GLUE, PAUL, 104 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,067 NOT PLAYING WITH IT. 105 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,869 I'M SURE THAT'S NOT ALL 106 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,904 YOU'RE DOING IN THERE. 107 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,140 OH NO NO, OF COURSE NOT. 108 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,208 THEN THERE'S GROUP THERAPY-- 109 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,044 WHICH ISN'T ONLY A WASTE OF TIME, 110 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,979 IT'S DISTURBING. 111 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:22,550 I JUST SIT THERE AND I LISTEN TO STRANGERS TALKING ABOUT 112 00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:26,386 HOW THIS ONE WAS ABANDONED OR THAT ONE WAS MOLESTED, 113 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:29,089 AND HOW ANGRY THEY ARE AT THEIR PARENTS. 114 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:32,860 SO HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BEING ON THE SAME FLOOR AS THESE PEOPLE? 115 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,163 WELL, I GUESS I'M SUPPOSED TO RELATE TO THEM 116 00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:38,566 OR SYMPATHIZE OR YOU TELL ME. 117 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,033 BUT COME ON, PAUL. 118 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:44,171 TWO MONTHS AGO I WAS A FULLY-ENGAGED C.E.O., 119 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,874 SOLVING REAL-WORLD PROBLEMS. 120 00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:51,612 AND NOW I'M SITTING BETWEEN ONE PERSON WHO LIKES TO WEAR DIAPERS 121 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,147 AND ANOTHER ONE WHO LIKES TO CUT HERSELF WITH A RAZOR. 122 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:57,485 THERE'S NO DENYING THAT YOU HAVE IT ROUGH. AND YOU MUST BE ANGRY AT ME 123 00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:59,553 FOR SAYING THAT YOU NEEDED TO BE THERE. 124 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:04,024 NO NO, YOU WERE JUST DOING YOUR JOB. 125 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,627 I CAN IMAGINE YOU ALSO MIGHT BE ANGRY THAT I WASN'T 126 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:10,130 ABLE TO SAVE YOU FROM THE DEPRESSION YOU FELL INTO. 127 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:18,839 OR FROM THE ATTEMPT THAT YOU MADE ON YOUR OWN LIFE. 128 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:27,080 YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE SHRINKS THERE SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 129 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,684 HE SAID YOU WERE RECKLESS. 130 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,953 SAID THAT YOU'D OPENED UP 131 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:37,057 PANDORA'S BOX AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME. 132 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:44,231 I'M SORRY-- SHOULD I NOT HAVE TOLD YOU THAT? 133 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,133 NO NO. 134 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:49,402 BUT I'M SURE THAT MUST HAVE BEEN UNSETTLING FOR YOU TO HEAR. 135 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,905 WHAT DO YOU THINK HE MEANT BY THAT? 136 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:56,710 WELL, I DIDN'T TRUST IT. I DIDN'T TRUST HIM. 137 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,946 I TOLD HIM THAT IF IT HADN'T HAVE BEEN FOR YOU, 138 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:01,582 THAT I'D GONE OFF THE DEEP END A LOT SOONER. 139 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,919 I ALSO TOLD HIM THAT HIS STAFF WASN'T IN YOUR LEAGUE. 140 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,522 - YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN, WALTER. - WHAT? 141 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:11,158 BULLSHITTING ME. 142 00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,995 NOW WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT FROM ME? 143 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,568 OUT. 144 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:24,437 I WANT OUT. 145 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,940 AND YOU'RE HOPING THAT IF YOU FLATTER ME ENOUGH 146 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,610 THAT I'LL SIGN OFF ON YOUR RELEASE, IS THAT IT? 147 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:32,212 I'M CLIMBING THE WALLS, PAUL. 148 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:35,983 AND IT'S ANOTHER WEEK BEFORE I CAN GO BEFORE A JUDGE. 149 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,985 LOOK, I UNDERSTAND 150 00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:40,153 THAT A WEEK MAY SEEM LIKE A VERY LONG TIME. 151 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,855 ( groans ) 152 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,693 GOD, ANOTHER DAY IS AN ETERNITY. 153 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:50,831 WHATEVER YOU NEED ME TO SAY OR SIGN, I'LL DO IT. 154 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:54,334 BUT PLEASE, CALL DR. WELLS. 155 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,336 HE'LL LISTEN TO YOU. 156 00:08:56,436 --> 00:09:00,073 BEFORE I DO THAT, WE NEED TO TALK MORE. 157 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,976 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW? 158 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,646 WHAT DO I WANT TO KNOW? 159 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:08,616 ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU SAID TO ME LAST WEEK IN THE HOSPITAL? 160 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:12,119 AND THEN YOU PROCEEDED TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAD FOOD POISONING. 161 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:16,924 DROP THE FACADE, WALTER. IT'S A WASTE OF YOUR TIME AND MINE. 162 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:20,293 YOU'RE JUST SAYING WHAT YOU THINK I WANT TO HEAR. 163 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,273 I WAS ASHAMED. 164 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:38,646 AND I DIDN'T WANT NATALIE TO KNOW. 165 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,983 OKAY. 166 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,352 WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT IT'S 167 00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:48,021 REALLY BEEN LIKE THIS LAST WEEK. 168 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,961 HELL. 169 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,264 I HAVE NOTHING TO DO. 170 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,668 THERE'S ONE TV 171 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:05,673 AND THE GROUP VOTES ON WHAT CRAP THEY WANT TO WATCH. 172 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:09,943 THERE'S A PIANO THAT NO ONE CAN PLAY. 173 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,882 THEY GIVE US CHORES, BUT IT'S MAKE-WORK. 174 00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:17,417 I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING. 175 00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,620 - SO HOW DO YOU PASS THE TIME? - WALK THE HALLS. 176 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:23,791 IT'S 9:00 A.M. 177 00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:28,428 I PACE, STARE OUT THE WINDOW. 178 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:32,399 HOURS GO BY. 179 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:37,805 I THINK TO MYSELF, "IT MUST BE GETTING CLOSE TO LUNCHTIME." 180 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,208 I LOOK AT THE CLOCK. 181 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,443 IT'S 9:15. 182 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,645 SO WHEN YOU STARE OUT THE WINDOWS, 183 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:48,281 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT? 184 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:51,719 I THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH I COULD'VE ALREADY GOTTEN DONE 185 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,787 IF I STILL HAD MY JOB. 186 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,856 YOU'RE USED TO BEING BUSY. 187 00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:59,226 I CAN IMAGINE IT'S... IT'S A PRETTY DIFFICULT ADJUSTMENT. 188 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,928 I CAN'T ADJUST. 189 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:04,531 I'M NOT COMFORTABLE JUST WASTING TIME. 190 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:07,935 THAT'S SOMETHING THAT WE MIGHT WORK ON WHILE YOU'RE THERE. 191 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:11,404 ( chuckles ) YOU WANT ME TO WORK ON WASTING TIME? 192 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,941 NO, WHAT I MEAN IS 193 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,143 SOMETIMES WHEN PEOPLE ARE HOSPITALIZED 194 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:19,646 THE LACK OF DAY-TO-DAY PRESSURE CAN CAUSE A RELIEF. 195 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:22,382 IT FINALLY GIVES THEM A CHANCE TO... 196 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:25,152 TO CONTEMPLATE. 197 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,220 I DON'T FOLLOW YOU. 198 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,689 WELL, TO REFLECT. 199 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:32,292 TO REFLECT ON WHAT'S COME BEFORE, 200 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,361 WHAT LIES AHEAD. 201 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:37,064 I THINK YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING SO HARD FOR SO LONG 202 00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:40,067 THAT YOU HAVEN'T HAD THE CHANCE TO CHECK IN 203 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,269 WITH YOURSELF. 204 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,876 NATALIE SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 205 00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:55,082 SHE SAID I SHOULD "LISTEN TO MY INNER VOICE." 206 00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:58,418 I TOLD HER THE LAST THING YOU WANT TO DO IF YOU'RE IN A NUTHOUSE 207 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:02,089 IS START HEARING VOICES. 208 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:05,358 WHEN YOU WALK THE HALLS, WHAT DO YOU FIND YOURSELF THINKING ABOUT? 209 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:08,161 I'M JUST ANXIOUS, PAUL. 210 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,598 I THINK ABOUT MONEY. 211 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,101 I THINK ABOUT MY NET-WORTH NUMBERS. 212 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,503 THEY'VE GONE DOWN QUITE A BIT. 213 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,105 BUT-- 214 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:21,909 I THINK ABOUT IS CONNIE KEEPING UP WITH THE BILLS; 215 00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:25,846 IS THE CAR BATTERY DEAD IN THE GARAGE; 216 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,251 WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE... 217 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,954 THOSE POOR KIDS 218 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,456 WHO DRANK THE FORMULA? 219 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,094 I THINK ABOUT THEIR FAMILIES... 220 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,432 HOW THEY'RE COPING WITH IT. 221 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:49,202 ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON-- 222 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,509 DO YOU THINK ABOUT THEM OFTEN? 223 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,548 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 224 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:12,392 YOU SAID THAT YOU HAD SOME SESSIONS WITH THE STAFF... 225 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:15,428 "SHRINK." 226 00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,197 WHAT DID HE TALK ABOUT? 227 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,333 THEY WANT TO REHASH THE CRISIS, 228 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:24,737 THE FIRING. I KEEP SAYING, "COULD YOU JUST READ MY FILE?" 229 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,374 AND AS YOU WERE RETELLING THE STORY, 230 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:30,810 CAN YOU REMEMBER WHAT EMOTIONS CAME UP FOR YOU? 231 00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:34,181 HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN A DEPOSITION? 232 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:37,150 YOU SAY AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AND WAIT FOR IT TO END. 233 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,320 YOU MENTIONED THAT PANDORA'S BOX HAD BEEN OPENED. 234 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:44,691 SO YOU'VE TALKED ABOUT SOME OF THOSE ISSUES? 235 00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:47,127 - LIKE WHAT? - I DON'T KNOW, 236 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,897 YOUR FAMILY HISTORY, YOUR HISTORY WITH THE DONALDSONS, 237 00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:53,133 YOUR ANXIETY ABOUT SEPARATION. 238 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,968 NOT REALLY. 239 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,337 THEY DIDN'T ASK, I DIDN'T TELL. 240 00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,540 DID THEY ASK YOU ABOUT THE NIGHT YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF? 241 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,513 WELL, OF COURSE THEY ASKED ABOUT THAT. THEY HAD TO, DIDN'T THEY? 242 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,682 - YES, THEY DID. - I'VE BEEN WHERE THEY ARE. 243 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,218 WE'D ACQUIRE A COMPANY. 244 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,553 I'D GO OUT THERE FOR THE VISIT. ( sighs ) 245 00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:16,756 THE LOCAL MANAGER WOULD WALK ME THROUGH IT: 246 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:21,261 HOW DEDICATED EVERYONE WAS, HOW NOTHING NEEDED TO CHANGE. 247 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:25,966 AND THE WHOLE TIME HE'S MAKING HIS PITCH, I'M RUNNING NUMBERS. 248 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,535 THEY WERE EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED. 249 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,270 I WAS THERE TO EVALUATE. 250 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:34,374 SO THESE DOCTORS, YOU FEEL THEY'RE JUST MAKING CLINICAL EVALUATIONS? 251 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,910 THEY'RE JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH TO MEDICATE ME, 252 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,846 OR HOW MUCH COVERAGE I HAVE. 253 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:43,016 DO YOU THINK THEY MIGHT BE ASSESSING ANYTHING ELSE? 254 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:50,257 WHETHER I'LL TRY IT AGAIN. 255 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:56,663 THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY'S GOING TO WORRY ABOUT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 256 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,332 ISN'T IT? 257 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,643 DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT? 258 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:28,361 PRETTY STREET YOU LIVE ON. 259 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:33,400 I NEVER NOTICED THAT BEFORE. 260 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:38,238 WELL, IT'S ALWAYS BEEN DARK WHEN YOU'VE ARRIVED. 261 00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:42,275 IT'S NICE TO SEE THE SPRING COME. 262 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:50,417 NOW I HAVE A CHANCE TO PLANT MY GARDEN. 263 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:55,388 SMELL THE ROSES. 264 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,463 - CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? - OF COURSE. 265 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:12,739 WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF YOU WERE ME? 266 00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,979 I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT. 267 00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:24,251 I CAN REALLY UNDERSTAND... 268 00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,987 WHAT THAT PAIN WAS LIKE, 269 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,290 HOW IT MUST HAVE SEEMED UNBEARABLE... 270 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,660 WITHOUT END. 271 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:39,399 AND HOW, IN THAT MOMENT, YOU THOUGHT YOU'D FOUND A SOLUTION... 272 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,302 A WAY OUT OF A HOPELESS SITUATION. 273 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:46,506 BUT, YOU KNOW, 274 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:50,743 I THINK THAT THE WORST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE HAS PASSED, WALTER. 275 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:54,314 YOU'VE SURVIVED IT. 276 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:58,551 YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE. 277 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:02,155 AND THE VOID THAT YOU FELT-- MAYBE THE VOID THAT YOU STILL FEEL 278 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:06,025 CAN BE FILLED AND THAT THERE'S A POSSIBILITY OF RENEWAL. 279 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,097 YOU KNOW, I TRIED TO FIGHT IT. 280 00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:17,137 I KEPT TELLING MYSELF, "SNAP OUT OF IT, WALTER. SNAP OUT OF IT." 281 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,039 I KEPT THINKING THAT 282 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:25,112 I'D COME UP WITH SOME WAY TO STOP FEELING. 283 00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:27,347 STOP FEELING WHAT? 284 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,850 TO STOP FEELING. 285 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,286 PERIOD. 286 00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:38,225 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO WILL MYSELF OUT OF BED. 287 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,729 EVEN IF I WAS DEAD TIRED OR SICK, 288 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:46,199 I WAS ALWAYS ABLE TO WORK. 289 00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:50,069 - RING THE BELL, I ANSWERED. - BUT NOT THIS TIME. 290 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:53,173 IT'S LIKE... 291 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:57,043 THERE'S THE WALTER BARNETT THAT I KNEW, 292 00:17:57,144 --> 00:18:00,447 WHO COULD STAND UP TO ANY PRESSURE. 293 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:03,883 AND THEN THERE'S THIS OTHER WALTER 294 00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,618 WHO I NEVER KNEW EXISTED, 295 00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:08,488 WHO CRUMBLED, 296 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:11,258 WHO COULDN'T HANDLE THE PAIN. 297 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:18,165 THESE TWO WALTERS, ONE STRONG, THE OTHER WEAK-- 298 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:23,970 ARE THERE ANY OTHER DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THEM? 299 00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:27,039 I DON'T KNOW. 300 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:30,210 LIKE I SAID, I DON'T KNOW THIS OTHER ONE. 301 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:33,480 THE OTHER ONE YOU MEAN? THE ONE WITHOUT A JOB? 302 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,784 YOU SAID ANYTIME THE BELL RANG, YOU ANSWERED. 303 00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:41,354 MAYBE PART OF THE REASON YOU COULDN'T SNAP OUT OF IT THIS TIME WAS BECAUSE 304 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,023 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE 305 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,594 YOU WEREN'T ON CALL. YOU WEREN'T ON DUTY. 306 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:50,997 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - WELL, YOU PRIDE YOURSELF 307 00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:52,965 NOT JUST ON YOUR ABILITY TO WORK, 308 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:56,469 BUT ON YOUR ABILITY TO WORK YOURSELF BEYOND THE BRINK OF EXHAUSTION. 309 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:59,071 THE FIRST DAY THAT YOU CAME IN HERE, YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK 310 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,474 THAT YOUR PANIC ATTACKS WERE WORTH MENTIONING. 311 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:04,244 IN THE TIME THAT I'VE KNOWN YOU, WALTER, I'VE NEVER HEARD 312 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,479 YOU MENTION A HOBBY, A DAY OFF, A NIGHT OUT. 313 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:09,148 - YOU MET ME IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISIS. - AND MY GUESS IS, 314 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:13,220 BEFORE THIS CRISIS THERE WAS ANOTHER CRISIS AND BEFORE THAT THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE. 315 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,055 AND IT STRETCHES RIGHT BACK TO CHILDHOOD, TO VIETNAM, 316 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:20,159 - TO THE DONALDSONS, TO CONNIE'S REHAB. - CONNIE'S REHAB? 317 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,862 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. 318 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:25,865 NO, YOU DIDN'T, BUT WHEN I SPOKE TO NATALIE AT THE HOSPITAL-- 319 00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:29,202 SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO EMBARRASS CONNIE LIKE THAT! 320 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,571 SHE WASN'T TRYING TO EMBARRASS CONNIE, WALTER. 321 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,374 - SHE ASSUMED THAT YOU'D TOLD ME. - WHY WOULD I HAVE DONE THAT? 322 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:37,076 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO IN THERAPY, WALTER. 323 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,878 THEY TALK ABOUT THEIR LIVES. 324 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:43,182 - IF YOUR WIFE HAS A PROBLEM WITH SUBSTANCE ABUSE... - SUBSTANCE ABUSE?! 325 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,585 IT WAS CHARDONNAYS, PAUL. 326 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,955 AND A FEW PILLS. SHE'S NOT A-- 327 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,826 CONNIE IS A GREAT WIFE. 328 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:57,764 SHE MADE A FINE HOME. SHE TOOK CARE OF THE KIDS. 329 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,533 SHE WATCHED THE HOME FRONT LIKE A HAWK. 330 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,504 THE PROBLEM STARTED-- 331 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:08,875 - IT'S MY FAULT. - WHAT WAS YOUR FAULT, WALTER? 332 00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:12,345 I WAS AWAY SO MUCH. I WAS ALWAYS TRAVELING. 333 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,314 THE DOCTORS NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHAT IT WAS. 334 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,049 IT WAS MAYBE A HYPOGLYCEMIA. 335 00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:19,419 OR LYME DISEASE, SOMETHING CHEMICAL. 336 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:22,989 SHE GETS IN A MOOD AND SHE SLIDES DOWNHILL. 337 00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,524 AND YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE TO CATCH HER. 338 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,593 I'D BE HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD. 339 00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:29,329 I'D GET A CALL FROM THE BOYS OR HER MOTHER. 340 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:31,331 I'D BE ON THE NEXT FLIGHT BACK. 341 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,734 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN HER ROCK. 342 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,504 UNTIL NOW. 343 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:42,975 NOW I'VE LET HER DOWN. I'VE LET EVERYONE DOWN. 344 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,648 YOU'RE A HUMAN BEING. 345 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:52,819 I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO MALFUNCTION, PAUL, THAT'S FOR OTHER PEOPLE. 346 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,087 BUT NOT WALTER BARNETT. 347 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,789 HE'S A SUPERMAN. 348 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,891 ISN'T THAT WHAT YOUR WIFE USED TO CALL YOU? 349 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,294 THAT'S JUST A-- THAT'S JUST A FIGURE OF SPEECH. 350 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,296 BUT IT'S A PRETTY TELLING ONE. 351 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:06,933 YOU'VE BEEN EVERYONE'S ROCK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. 352 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:09,336 YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE THAT'S SOMETHING BAD-- 353 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:13,506 - TO BE RESPONSIBLE. - NO, I'M JUST WONDERING ABOUT THE TOLL THAT IT'S TAKEN-- 354 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:17,176 THE PRESSURE OR MAYBE EVEN THE NEED TO ALWAYS BE THE HERO. 355 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,646 NEED? WHAT-- 356 00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:22,248 - DO YOU THINK I LOOK FOR THIS? - THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 357 00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:25,885 YOU THINK I'M SOME KIND OF FIREMAN WHO GOES AROUND SETTING FIRES SO I CAN PUT THEM OUT? 358 00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:29,288 - NO, WALTER, THAT'S NOT THE POINT. - THEN WHAT IS YOUR DAMN POINT?! 359 00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:34,727 COME ON, YOU KNOW EVERYTHING. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU FUCKING THINK. 360 00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:37,063 I DON'T THINK YOU WANT THE CRISIS, WALTER. 361 00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:40,500 BUT I DO WORRY YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE NOT IN ONE. 362 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,503 YOU'RE ANGRY AT YOURSELF 363 00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:45,672 FOR CRUMBLING UNDER THIS PRESSURE. 364 00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:49,141 BUT I'M REALLY AMAZED THAT YOU'VE HELD EVERYTHING TOGETHER FOR AS LONG AS YOU DID. 365 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:51,844 - THANKS A LOT. - THE WALTER YOU KNOW 366 00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:54,714 HAS BEEN ON THE FRONT LINE SINCE HIS BROTHER DIED-- 367 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,484 ON CALL, TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING, 368 00:21:57,584 --> 00:21:59,952 EVERYBODY, SLEEPING WITH ONE EYE OPEN. 369 00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:03,089 BUT WITHOUT A MOUNTAIN OF RESPONSIBILITY, 370 00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:05,558 THAT WALTER IS COMPLETELY LOST. 371 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,895 HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW NOT TO BE IN CHARGE. 372 00:22:10,296 --> 00:22:12,465 HE'S FORGOTTEN HOW TO PLAY. 373 00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:15,234 HE CAN'T JUST SIT AND BE. 374 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:19,271 MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU'RE CLIMBING THE WALLS AT THE HOSPITAL. 375 00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:21,641 WELL, THEN GET ME OUT OF THERE! 376 00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:23,843 AND IF I DID 377 00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:27,380 WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THE OTHER WALTER? 378 00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:31,618 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 379 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:36,556 THE WALTER YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED, 380 00:22:36,656 --> 00:22:39,692 THE LITTLE BOY WHO HAD HIS CHILDHOOD TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM 381 00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:41,828 WHEN HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD. 382 00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:45,432 HE'S BEEN SITTING THERE ALL THIS TIME 383 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:48,868 IN THE DARK, SCARED HALF TO DEATH, 384 00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:51,538 HOPING THAT SOMEBODY WOULD NOTICE HIM, 385 00:22:51,638 --> 00:22:53,906 MAYBE COMFORT HIM. 386 00:22:54,006 --> 00:22:59,479 AND MAYBE... MAYBE THIS IS HIS CHANCE. 387 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,148 AND YOUR CHANCE 388 00:23:02,248 --> 00:23:05,418 TO FIND OUT WHO THAT BOY IS... 389 00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,855 TO RECONNECT WITH A PART OF YOURSELF 390 00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:12,058 YOU'VE HAD TO DENY YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. 391 00:23:14,694 --> 00:23:18,465 AM I MAKING ANY SENSE TO YOU? 392 00:23:18,565 --> 00:23:21,333 YOU WANT ME TO CONNECT TO THAT PART OF MYSELF 393 00:23:21,434 --> 00:23:25,438 THAT FELL APART, THAT CRUMBLED UNDER PRESSURE? 394 00:23:25,538 --> 00:23:28,240 WHY WOULD I DO THAT? 395 00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:31,978 BECAUSE, WALTER, I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE PART OF YOU THAT CRUMBLED. 396 00:23:35,181 --> 00:23:38,618 I THINK THAT'S THE PART OF YOU THAT WANTS TO LIVE. 397 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,796 ( sobbing ) GOD... 398 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,836 OH GOD, NO. 399 00:23:56,936 --> 00:24:00,172 I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. 400 00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:32,539 ( wailing ) 401 00:24:53,292 --> 00:24:56,529 ( theme music playing )