1 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,476 YES, MY NAME IS PAUL WESTON. 2 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:09,777 I'VE BEEN ON HOLD. 3 00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,345 Woman: How can I help you, sir? 4 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,747 I'M THE EXECUTOR OF MY FATHER'S ESTATE 5 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,583 AND I WANTED TO-- 6 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,785 Can you hold on, sir, while I pull up the account? 7 00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,953 - SURE, OKAY, I'LL HOLD. - Female voice: Thank you for holding. 8 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,890 You call is very important to us and your estimated wait time-- 9 00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:25,159 ( sighs, dialing ) 10 00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,497 - Man: Claim services. - HELLO. 11 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,765 - Yes, can I help you? - THIS IS PAUL WESTON. 12 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:35,336 AND MY FATHER HAD A LIFE INSURANCE POLICY WITH YOU AND-- 13 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,405 Can you hold on while I get an agent? 14 00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:38,806 OKAY, I'LL HOLD. 15 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:41,041 ( hangs up, dials ) 16 00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,081 Man: Hello. Bank of New Trust. 17 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,417 - YES, HELLO. - How can I help you? 18 00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:52,820 - MY NAME IS PAUL WESTON. - Yes, Mr. Weston, how can I help you? 19 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,789 MY FATHER JUST PASSED AWAY. HE HAD TWO ACCOUNTS WITH YOU. 20 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,826 Can I have your father's security code, please? 21 00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:01,329 NO, I DON'T KNOW HIS SECURITY CODES. 22 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,497 I think I'm gonna have to transfer you. 23 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,299 NO, BUT JUST DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD. 24 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,235 - Hold one second. - DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD, PLEAS. 25 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:09,537 - Just a quick second. - PLEASE DON'T-- 26 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:12,173 GOD DAMN IT! 27 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,779 ( phone ringing ) 28 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:22,816 ( footsteps ) 29 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,386 PAUL. 30 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,994 DO YOU WANT TO GET THAT? 31 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,464 ( theme music playing ) 32 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,297 I'M SORRY ABOUT THE PHONE BUSINESS. 33 00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:11,532 I'M TRYING TO GET MY FATHER'S ESTATE SETTLED, 34 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:15,002 AND I CAN'T EVEN GET ANYBODY TO TALK TO ME. 35 00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:18,138 ALL I GET IS, "CAN YOU HOLD? PLEASE HOLD. LET ME PUT YOU ON HOLD." 36 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,608 THAT'S SO IRRITATING. 37 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:24,512 IF I BELIEVED THE OPERATORS WERE ACTUALLY HELPING SOMEBODY, I WOULD WAIT. 38 00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:29,983 SOMETIMES I THINK THE WHOLE COUNTRY IS ON HOLD. 39 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,985 NOBODY IS BEING HELPED. 40 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,188 THEY DON'T EVEN CALL IT "HELP" ANY MORE. 41 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,224 THEY CALL IT "CUSTOMER SUPPORT." 42 00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:39,360 THAT'S 'CAUSE ALL THEY REALLY DO IS SAY, 43 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,529 "I'M SORRY YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. THAT'S TOO BAD." 44 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,364 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T WANT SUPPORT. 45 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:46,900 I WANT YOUR HELP. SO I HANG UP. 46 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,871 IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH? 47 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:58,178 NO. 48 00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,914 UNLESS YOU WANT TO PROOFREAD A LETTER I WROTE. 49 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,884 SURE. WHAT KIND OF LETTER? 50 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,620 REMEMBER LAST WEEK I LEFT HERE 51 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,756 AND I WENT TO MEET WITH ALEX'S FATHER? 52 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,524 YEAH, HOW DID THAT GO? 53 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,626 DISORIENTING. 54 00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,429 HE OFFERED TO ACCEPT 55 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,832 SETTLEMENT MONEY FROM THE INSURANCE COMPANY 56 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:22,069 AND DROP HIS LAWSUIT AGAINST ME-- 57 00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:23,904 WELL, THAT'S GREAT. 58 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:27,308 --IN EXCHANGE FOR A LETTER FROM ME 59 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:31,812 ADMITTING MY GUILT IN ALEX'S DEATH. 60 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,619 YOU WROTE THE LETTER? 61 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,322 WHAT WOULD HE DO WITH THIS LETTER? 62 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:44,191 HE GAVE ME HIS WORD HE WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING WITH IT. 63 00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:45,493 PAUL. 64 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,595 I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT. ONCE HE HAS IT, 65 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:49,797 TECHNICALLY HE CAN DO ANYTHING HE WANTS WITH IT-- 66 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,633 SEND IT TO THE ETHICS BOARD OR POST IT ONLINE. 67 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,303 THAT WOULD BE THE END OF YOUR CAREER. 68 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,905 WHAT DID YOUR LAWYER SAY? 69 00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:00,408 HE SAYS THE LETTER WILL PUT AN END TO THE LAWSUIT 70 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:03,110 AND THAT MY INSURANCE WILL COVER THE WHOLE SETTLEMENT. 71 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,112 I WON'T END UP OWING A THING. 72 00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:07,114 WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T SEND IT? 73 00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:09,116 THEY HAVE A PRELIMINARY HEARING NEXT WEEK. 74 00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:12,620 THE JUDGE, I MEAN, HE COULD JUST THROW THE WHOLE CASE OUT. 75 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,022 BUT IF HE DOESN'T, IT MIGHT GO TO TRIAL WITH A JURY, 76 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:17,925 IN WHICH CASE I WILL LOSE BIG TIME. 77 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,427 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 78 00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:22,330 THE LAWYER SAYS THAT'S WHAT JURIES DO. 79 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:26,667 HE SAYS EVERYBODY HATES THERAPISTS. 80 00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,571 THEY DO? 81 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:34,308 ACCORDING TO THIS GUY, THERAPY IS BULLSHIT. 82 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,444 HE SAYS PEOPLE GO INTO TREATMENT 83 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,579 HOPING THAT THE THERAPIST IS GONNA FIX THEM, 84 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,849 BUT THAT THERAPISTS EITHER DON'T SOLVE PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS 85 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,484 OR THEY MAKE THEM WORSE. 86 00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,218 AND THIS MAN IS REPRESENTING YOU? 87 00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,154 HE FIGHTS CASES LIKE THIS EVERY WEEK. 88 00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,222 HE KNOWS HOW THEY GO. 89 00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,992 AND HE'S WORRIED THAT THE JURY IS GONNA SEE ME 90 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,728 AS A STAND-IN FOR ALL THE BAD THERAPISTS IN THE WORLD, 91 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,366 AND AWARD ALEX'S FATHER THE ENTIRE $20 MILLION. 92 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:00,000 IF THIS LAWYER KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING, 93 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,704 HE'D GET THE JURY TO SEE WHAT A GOOD THERAPIST YOU ARE. 94 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:07,575 EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND, GINA. I'M JUST CURIOUS-- 95 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:10,478 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF YOU WERE ON TRIAL 96 00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:13,547 AND THE LAWYER ASKED YOU, "WHAT PERCENTAGE OF YOUR PATIENTS 97 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,416 DO YOU THINK YOU'VE REALLY HELPED?" 98 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,050 WHAT ARE YOU ASKING? 99 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,753 WOULD YOU SAY, ON AVERAGE, THAT THE PEOPLE YOU'VE TREATED 100 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,655 HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE BETTER, A LOT BETTER, 101 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,524 OR THEY'VE STAYED ABOUT THE SAME? 102 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,726 YOU'RE SOMEONE I TREAT. 103 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,362 ARE YOU ASKING ME IF I'LL HELP YOU GET BETTER? 104 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,598 OKAY, FINE, DON'T ANSWER THE QUESTION. 105 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,766 THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU ANYWAY. THIS IS ABOUT ME. 106 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,669 THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT IT IS I'M NOT HELPING ANYBODY. 107 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,506 YOU KNOW? I'M GOING TO MAIL THIS LETTER 108 00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:40,574 AND I'M GOING TO QUIT BEING A THERAPIST 109 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,776 AND FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO, SOMETHING USEFUL. 110 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,812 PAUL, YOU KNOW YOU HELP PEOPLE. 111 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,914 YOU KNOW WHAT I DO? MOST DAYS I SIT THERE 112 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,249 AND I LISTEN FOR 45 MINUTES. 113 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,284 THEN MY PATIENTS GO OUT THE DOOR 114 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,521 AND DO WHATEVER THEY WERE GOING TO DO ANYWAY. 115 00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:56,424 PAUL, YOU DON'T JUST LISTEN. 116 00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:59,126 YOU MAKE OBSERVATIONS. YOU ASK QUESTIONS. 117 00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,128 YOU MAKE INTERPRETATIONS. 118 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:05,032 YOU ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO LOOK AT THE PATTERNS OF THEIR BEHAVIOR. 119 00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,935 THAT MAY BE WHAT I DO, BUT IT'S NOT WHAT PEOPLE WANT. 120 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,237 AND WHAT DO THEY WANT? 121 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,940 THEY WANT TO BE LOVED, EVEN BY ME. 122 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,108 THEY WANT A CHILD, OR THEY WANT TO BE MY CHILD. 123 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,244 THEY WANT A PARENT WHO LOVES THEM. 124 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,146 THEY WANT ATTENTION. THEY WANT AFFECTION. 125 00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:20,948 THEY WANT HOPE. THEY WANT PILLS. 126 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,883 AND THEY WANT SEX. 127 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,918 IT'S A GOOD LIST. 128 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,955 BUT I DON'T GIVE THEM THOSE THINGS. 129 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:33,226 MY PATIENT, MIA, THE LAWYER-- 130 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,228 DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS? 131 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,298 SHE WANTS ME TO HOLD HER, TO COMFORT HER. 132 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,602 BUT WHAT SHE REALLY NEEDS IS A GOOD HUSBAND AND A FAMILY. 133 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:45,005 AND I KNOW THAT I CANNOT GIVE HER THOSE THINGS. 134 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,707 ALL I CAN DO IS SHOW HER 135 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,876 THAT SHE PUSHES AWAY THE VERY PEOPLE WHO COULD HELP HER 136 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,111 AND THAT SHE PULLS ON THE PEOPLE WHO WON'T. 137 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,546 BUT THAT ONLY LEAVES HER 138 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,748 FEELING MORE LONELY AND UNLOVED. 139 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,750 YOU KNOW, BY THE TIME SHE LEFT ON MONDAY, 140 00:06:56,850 --> 00:07:00,320 BY THE TIME SHE LEFT MY OFFICE, SHE FELT DOOMED, 141 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,557 REJECTED BY HER FAMILY AND THE WORLD. 142 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:07,795 AND I HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SAY TO HER. 143 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:11,098 SO YOU'RE WORRIED SHE WON'T COME BACK? 144 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,601 WHY SHOULD SHE COME BACK, REALLY? 145 00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:16,770 I AM OF NO USE TO HER WHATSOEVER. 146 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,273 ALL THIS BIG WISDOM THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GIVING HER-- 147 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:21,975 THIS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE HER HAPPY. 148 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,344 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO-- MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY? 149 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,748 ABSOLUTELY, I WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY. 150 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,518 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, FUCK THEM UP EVEN MORE? 151 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,689 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? I'M GONNA MAIL THIS LETTER 152 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,725 AND I'M GONNA LET THEM TAKE MY LICENSE, 153 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:41,294 AND I'M GONNA BECOME A LIFE COACH. 154 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:44,331 A LIFE COACH? WHAT DO THEY DO? 155 00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:46,266 YOU KNOW WHAT A LIFE COACH IS. 156 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:49,336 THEY GIVE ADVICE. IT'S NOT-- 157 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:53,440 LOOK, PEOPLE DON'T HAVE FAMILIES ANYMORE THAT THEY CAN TALK TO, 158 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:56,744 AND FRIENDS ARE QUICKLY GOING THE WAY OF FAMILIES. 159 00:07:56,844 --> 00:08:00,213 SO IF YOU WERE MIA'S LIFE COACH, 160 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,782 WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HER TO DO? 161 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,784 I WOULD TELL HER TO QUIT HER JOB. 162 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,553 I WOULD TELL HER TO GROW HER HAIR, 163 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:08,822 I WOULD TELL HER TO MOVE SOMEWHERE WHERE SHE'S OUTSIDE IN THE SUNSHINE, 164 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,924 LIKE NAPA VALLEY. I WOULD TELL HER 165 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,761 TO TAKE UP BIKING, NOT WEAR HEELS FOR A YEAR. 166 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:17,264 AND I'D TELL HER, "GET A DOG." 167 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:22,035 DO YOU THINK THAT SHE WOULD TAKE YOUR ADVICE? 168 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:26,774 SHE JUST WANTS ME TO GIVE HER LOVE AND SUPPORT. 169 00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:31,378 BUT IF SHE WERE CAPABLE OF RECEIVING LOVE AND SUPPORT, 170 00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:33,513 SHE WOULDN'T BE COMING TO YOU FOR THEM. 171 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:36,784 THAT'S HER REAL PROBLEM. AND UNTIL IT'S TREATED, 172 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:39,620 SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE ANYONE'S ADVICE. 173 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,655 AND THAT'S WHY SHE NEEDS THERAPY. 174 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,791 ACTUALLY, I THINK IF MY FIRST ADVICE WORKED, 175 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,793 SHE MIGHT TRY SOME OTHER NEW IDEA. 176 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,629 IF MY ADVICE DIDN'T WORK OUT, SHE'D GO IN ANOTHER DIRECTION. 177 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,530 I DON'T SEE WHAT THE HARM IS. 178 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,300 WOULD YOU WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MAKING HER DECISIONS FOR HER? 179 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,168 I THINK I'D BE FINE WITH THAT. 180 00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:57,337 YOU SEE, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT THERE, GINA. 181 00:08:57,437 --> 00:09:00,708 YOU'RE SCARED OF TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PATIENTS' LIVES. 182 00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:03,611 YOU DON'T ACTUALLY WANT TO GET INVOLVED WITH THEM. 183 00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:07,480 I DO. SO YOU STILL CLING TO THIS DOGMA 184 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,416 OF LETTING THEM MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS. 185 00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:13,353 BUT THAT, IN MY OPINION-- THAT'S NOT PROFESSIONALISM. THAT'S COWARDICE. 186 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:17,424 IT'S NOT DOGMA, PAUL. 187 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:21,061 IT'S A BASIC TENET OF OUR PROFESSION. 188 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:24,497 IF YOU TAKE ACTION IN YOUR PATIENTS' LIVES, 189 00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:27,334 YOU CAUSE THEM TO BECOME DEPENDENT ON YOU. 190 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,169 YOU CRIPPLE THEM. 191 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,571 OH, BACK ON THE HIGH MORAL GROUND AGAIN, AS USUAL. 192 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,140 BUT YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG, GINA. 193 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,643 MY PROBLEM ISN'T THAT I CAN'T OBEY THE RULES. 194 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,477 MY PROBLEM IS THAT, UNLIKE YOU, 195 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,413 I ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY PATIENTS. 196 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,515 YOU THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU? 197 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,252 YOU DON'T LET YOURSELF CARE ABOUT ANYBODY. 198 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,855 YOU'RE TOO AFRAID TO. YOU SIT IN THAT GODDAMN CHAIR, 199 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,490 AND YOUR PATIENTS ARE FALLING APART IN FRONT OF YOU, 200 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,626 BUT INSTEAD OF REACHING OUT TO HELP, 201 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,729 YOU STUDY THEM AS IF THEY WERE PIECES OF A PUZZLE. 202 00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,668 WELL, I LET YOU DOWN. 203 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:03,871 AND YOU'RE ENRAGED AT ME. 204 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,406 I WAS YOUR TEACHER. I WAS YOUR MENTOR. 205 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:09,176 I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE YOU THE WISDOM 206 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,379 THAT WOULD PROTECT YOU FROM THIS SORT OF PAIN-- 207 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,547 THE PAIN YOU'RE GOING THROUGH NOW. 208 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,516 AND I DIDN'T. 209 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,518 AND SO YOU'RE REACTING BY TELLING ME 210 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,487 THAT I'M NOT FEELING YOUR PAIN, 211 00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:22,255 AND THAT MY PROFESSION IS USELESS. 212 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,124 OH, WE BOTH KNOW 213 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,393 THAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE A WORD OF THAT BULLSHIT. 214 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,062 IF ANYTHING, YOU THINK THAT I'VE DISAPPOINTED YOU. 215 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,898 YOU KEEP TELLING ME I'M A GOOD PERSON-- 216 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,565 "OH, YOU'RE A GREAT THERAPIST, PAUL." 217 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:35,703 BUT WE BOTH KNOW HOW LITTLE RESPECT YOU REALLY HAVE FOR ME. 218 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,238 YOU PRETEND TO BE NEUTRAL, BUT YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING 219 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:41,775 BUT JUDGE ME SINCE THE MINUTE I CAME BACK INTO THERAPY. 220 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,177 SO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN JUDGING YOU ALL THIS TIME? 221 00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:47,480 OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, STOP MIRRORING WHAT I SAY. 222 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,482 WOULD YOU STOP HIDING BEHIND THE CLOAK, 223 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,484 DROP THE FUCKING CATLIKE SMILE, 224 00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:53,921 THE BULLSHIT BUDDHA POSE OF YOURS, 225 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:57,390 AND JUST TELL ME FOR ONCE WHAT YOU REALLY THINK? 226 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:03,530 WHAT DO I REALLY THINK? 227 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,498 I REALLY THINK 228 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:08,068 THAT YOU'RE ACTING LIKE AN ASSHOLE. 229 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,604 I REALLY THINK THAT YOU'RE A THERAPIST 230 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:14,407 WHO HAS REMARKABLY LITTLE INSIGHT 231 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,944 INTO YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR. 232 00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:20,714 YOU ARE SO SELF-ABSORBED. YOU ARE SO ENTITLED. 233 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,183 YOU COME IN HERE AND YOU SPOUT 234 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,919 THE SAME OLD BULLSHIT! 235 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:29,589 "I WANT TO CROSS THE BOUNDARIES 236 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,459 BECAUSE I CARE SO MUCH!" 237 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,062 AND I HAVE TO SIT HERE AND LISTEN. 238 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,931 AND THEN YOU HAVE THE GALL TO GET MAD AT ME 239 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,133 FOR NOT LOSING MY TEMPER! 240 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,535 WELL, AT LEAST I FINALLY KNOW. 241 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:43,871 YOU KNOW NOTHING. 242 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:46,406 THAT'S RIGHT. I'M A SELF-ABSORBED ASSHOLE 243 00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:48,141 AND YOU'RE FURIOUS AT ME. 244 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,877 I AM FURIOUS AT YOU. 245 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:53,280 LET ME ASK YOU-- HOW DID SAYING THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? 246 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,315 IT FELT GOOD. 247 00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:02,055 BUT MAYBE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED. 248 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,657 AND WHAT DID I WANT, GINA? YOU TELL ME. 249 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:07,895 YOU GOT ME TO PLAY THE ROLE YOU RELISH. 250 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:11,031 YOU GOT ME TO BE THE PUNISHING, REJECTING PARENT, 251 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,967 THE FAILED AUTHORITY FIGURE THAT YOU CAN RAIL AGAINST. 252 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,004 - WHY WOULD I WANT THAT? - BECAUSE IT'S FAMILIAR. 253 00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:21,374 IT CONFIRMS YOUR WORLDVIEW. 254 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:25,512 YOU GET TO BE THE INNOCENT VICTIM DOING YOUR BEST. 255 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,415 AND I'M JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. I'M OUT TO FUCK YOU OVER. 256 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,250 SO YOU CALL ME AN ASSHOLE, 257 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,787 AND NOT ONLY IS IT MY FAULT, IT'S ACTUALLY WHAT I WANTED. 258 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:36,556 ( exhales ) 259 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,391 YOU TELL ME-- HOW DO YOU FEEL? 260 00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,360 GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. 261 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,929 I BET YOU FEEL GOOD. 262 00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:44,564 LET'S FACE IT, PAUL-- 263 00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,167 YOU'D ALWAYS RATHER YELL THAN THINK. 264 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,469 WHAT DON'T I WANT TO THINK ABOUT? 265 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:54,407 WELL, YOU'RE ON A TEAR HERE. 266 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,377 YOU'RE TORTURED BY WHAT YOU SEE AS YOUR FAILURES 267 00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:00,347 WITH YOUR PARENTS, WITH YOUR PATIENTS, WITH YOUR FATHER. 268 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,851 SO YOU'RE DESTROYING ALL YOUR CAREFUL WORK, 269 00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,685 - AND MINE. - CAREFUL WORK? 270 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:09,489 YOU THINK I'M UNPROFESSIONAL. YOU THINK I'VE GOT NO BOUNDARIES. 271 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,324 YOU'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT. 272 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,093 HAVE I? HUH. 273 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,762 HAVE I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT? 274 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:18,131 THEN WHY DO YOU THINK 275 00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:21,201 I'VE STUCK BY YOU ALL THESE YEARS, 276 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,972 EVEN WHEN YOU'VE BEEN A COMPLETE PAIN IN THE ASS? 277 00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:30,878 THE TRUTH IS, DESPITE EVERYTHING, 278 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,780 I REALLY DO THINK YOU'RE A GOOD THERAPIST. 279 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:37,450 YOU TELL ME YOU'RE NO HELP TO YOUR PATIENTS, 280 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:40,120 BUT WHEN YOU DESCRIBE THEM, IT'S CLEAR TO ME 281 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,990 HOW CAREFULLY YOU LISTEN. 282 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,926 YOU HAVE A GREAT EAR. 283 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,528 YOU HAVE A GREAT SENSE OF EMPATHY. 284 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:26,967 THEN WHY AM I FAILING THEM? 285 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:30,303 IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, PAUL. 286 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:34,274 YOU KNOW, THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS. 287 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:38,111 THEY'RE STRUGGLING WITH PROFOUND PROBLEMS. 288 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,180 IF ONLY YOU COULD FIND COURAGE 289 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,482 TO SIT WITH THE FACT THAT WHAT WE DO IS HARD 290 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:46,686 AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT. 291 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,756 IT'S A HUMBLING PROFESSION. 292 00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,825 AND IF YOU LACK ANYTHING AS A THERAPIST, 293 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,528 IT'S HUMILITY. 294 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:58,198 SOMEHOW YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO TOLERATE THE FACT 295 00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:02,469 THAT WE DON'T SAVE PEOPLE. WE CAN'T. 296 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,343 ( sighs ) 297 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,250 WALTER TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF. 298 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,254 OH MY GOD. 299 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,156 PAUL, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS? 300 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,392 WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? 301 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:28,495 ABOUT 10 DAYS AGO. 302 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,730 YOU DIDN'T EVEN MENTION IT LAST WEEK. 303 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,566 I FELT THERE WAS ENOUGH TO TALK ABOUT, 304 00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,403 WITH MY FATHER. 305 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:41,008 I MEAN, WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE IF HE HAD SUCCEEDED? 306 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,243 YOU WOULD HAVE BLAMED YOURSELF, 307 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,112 JUST LIKE YOU DID WITH ALEX. 308 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,947 BUT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED. 309 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:52,719 PAUL, IN TWO WEEKS YOU'VE LOST YOUR FATHER-- 310 00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,955 YOU'RE WRACKED WITH GUILT BECAUSE YOU FEEL YOU NEGLECTED HIM-- 311 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,758 AND NOW THIS. 312 00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,994 THE SESSIONS WITH HIM ARE-- 313 00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:03,630 THE FIRST ONE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL. 314 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,832 YOU CAN IMAGINE THAT THAT'S-- 315 00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:08,268 THAT'S THE LAST PLACE I WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW. 316 00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,703 I WAS SITTING WITH HIM, WORRYING 317 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,539 THAT IF I JUST SAID THE WRONG THING-- 318 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,108 JUST ONE WRONG THING-- 319 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:18,445 AND HIS DAUGHTER IS OUTSIDE IN THE CORRIDOR, WAITING. 320 00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:20,413 AND SHE'S JUST-- 321 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,482 SHE'S JUST A LITTLE BIT OLDER THAN ROSIE. 322 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,318 AND SHE'S BEEN HOLDING THAT FAMILY TOGETHER-- 323 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,687 THE MOTHER AND THE FATHER-- IN A WAY THAT-- 324 00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:33,860 JUST IN THE WAY THAT... 325 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,197 ...YOU TRIED TO SAVE YOUR MOTHER? 326 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,533 YEAH. 327 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,869 AND SHE'S STARING AT ME WITH THOSE EYES 328 00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,904 THAT WOULD BREAK YOUR HEART. 329 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,174 SHE'S JUST STARTING TO LIVE HER LIFE. 330 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,776 AND ALL I WANT TO SAY TO HER IS, "GET OUT, RUN AWAY." 331 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:51,744 BUT I CAN'T DO THAT, 332 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:56,183 BECAUSE IF SHE GOES, SO DOES WALTER. 333 00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:59,286 I'VE SAT WITH HIM FOR HOURS, TRYING TO TELL HIM 334 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,354 THAT HIS LIFE CAN STILL HAVE MEANING; 335 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,390 THAT EVEN THOUGH HE'S OVERWHELMED 336 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:06,093 WITH GUILT AND LOSS AND SHAME, 337 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,927 HE HAS TO PUSH ON; 338 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:11,264 THAT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT LIFE MIGHT HAVE IN STORE FOR HIM, 339 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,033 WHAT HIS THIRD ACT COULD BE. 340 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,139 EXCEPT HE KNOWS-- HE KNOWS DAMN WELL 341 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:22,575 WHAT HIS THIRD ACT IS GOING TO BE-- 342 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:27,013 A LONG, STEADY DECLINE, 343 00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:29,249 JUST LIKE MY FATHER'S. 344 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:34,254 SO MAYBE HE'S RIGHT 345 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:38,291 TO TRY FOR A MILLIONAIRE'S DEATH, AS HE CALLS IT, 346 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:42,095 TO TAKE CONTROL FOR HIMSELF, ON HIS TERMS, 347 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,930 INSTEAD OF LETTING THE UNIVERSE 348 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:49,102 CONTINUE TO TORTURE HIM. 349 00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:52,572 DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT? 350 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:57,444 I CAN SEE HOW HE GOT THERE, 351 00:17:57,544 --> 00:18:00,480 HOW SOMEBODY WOULD JUST WANT TO CLOSE THEIR EYES 352 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,816 AND NOT WAKE UP. 353 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:11,524 HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING YOU MIGHT LIKE TO JUST GO TO SLEEP YOURSELF? 354 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,495 NO NO. 355 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,097 BUT I HAVEN'T LOST EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED. 356 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:21,568 - IF I DID-- - IF YOU DID? 357 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,474 I'M NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF, GINA. 358 00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:29,041 TELL ME WHY NOT. 359 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:30,877 OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. 360 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,745 PAUL, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M ASKING YOU. 361 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:33,813 YOU'RE VULNERABLE HERE. 362 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,448 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY, GINA. 363 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,217 I HAVE CHILDREN. 364 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:47,294 I REMEMBER, YOU KNOW, AFTER MY MOTHER DIED, 365 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:50,129 I WAS STANDING ABOVE HER GRAVE AND I PROMISED MYSELF 366 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,732 THAT I WOULD NEVER EVER DO THAT 367 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:57,003 TO ONE OF MY KIDS. 368 00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:01,007 AND THEN IAN WAS BORN, AND THEN ROSIE AND MAX. 369 00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:03,310 I MADE THE SAME PROMISE TO MYSELF 370 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,812 OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 371 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,780 AND I FELT THIS RUSH 372 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,484 OF WARMTH THROUGH MY BODY-- 373 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,520 "I AM GOOD. 374 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,055 I AM STRONG." 375 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,659 SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I'M THIS GREAT TREE, 376 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:23,129 GIANT, POWERFUL, 377 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,164 AND THEY'RE GONNA LIVE THEIR WHOLE LIVES 378 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:29,769 BENEATH MY SHADE. 379 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:34,441 AND THEN SOMETIMES I FEEL-- 380 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,477 I FEEL LIKE ALL MY LEAVES HAVE JUST FALLEN AWAY... 381 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:43,916 AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR THEM 382 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:48,421 EXCEPT BLOCK THE VIEW. 383 00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,359 THEY STILL NEED YOU. 384 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,461 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. 385 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,062 THEY DO. 386 00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:58,698 YOU STILL NEED YOUR MOTHER, DON'T YOU? 387 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,304 CAN YOU IMAGINE? 388 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:07,607 SHE'D BE 80 BY NOW. 389 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,910 SHE'D HAVE GOT TO SEE HER GRANDKIDS GROW UP. 390 00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:15,114 DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD HAVE MADE HER HAPPIER? 391 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,717 YES. 392 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:26,926 CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING, GINA? 393 00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:29,061 SURE. 394 00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:33,966 HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT SUICIDE? 395 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,937 YES. 396 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:42,275 WHEN DAVID WAS DYING? 397 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,777 OH, NO NO, NOT WHEN DAVID WAS DYING. 398 00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:49,749 BUT AFTERWARDS, WHEN YOU WERE GRIEVING? 399 00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:54,421 HE WAS A YOUNG MAN-- 400 00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:57,189 HE WAS SO YOUNG WHEN HE GOT CANCER 401 00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:01,127 AND HIS LIFE WAS STOLEN FROM HIM. 402 00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:03,296 AND YOU WATCH SOMEONE DIE-- 403 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,665 SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO LIVE AND-- 404 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,036 YEAH. 405 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:14,441 I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MAKE IT TO DAVID'S FUNERAL. 406 00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:18,545 SORRY I WASN'T THERE FOR YOU. 407 00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:23,783 THANK YOU. 408 00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:35,762 AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR PATIENT WITH CANCER? 409 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:37,497 HOW'S SHE DOING? 410 00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:42,335 SHE GETS THE RESULT OF THE BLOOD TEST THIS WEEK. 411 00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,970 HOW IS SHE DOING EMOTIONALLY? 412 00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:46,272 SHE'S KIND OF FURIOUS AT ME. 413 00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:48,240 WHY? 414 00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:51,478 IT'S A LONG STORY. SHE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL. 415 00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:54,313 SHE WAS REALLY REALLY SICK, BUT SHE HADN'T TOLD HER MOTHER. 416 00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:57,517 SO I THOUGHT THAT HER MOTHER DESERVED TO KNOW. 417 00:21:57,617 --> 00:22:01,320 OF COURSE SHE DID. YOU WERE RIGHT. 418 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,890 SOMEDAY APRIL WILL THANK YOU. 419 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:06,359 MAYBE. 420 00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:14,434 ( exhales ) 421 00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:18,270 LISTEN, GINA, I'M EXHAUSTED. 422 00:22:18,371 --> 00:22:21,307 ( laughs ) 423 00:22:21,408 --> 00:22:23,843 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ANYMORE. 424 00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:27,547 I THINK I'LL GO GET A COFFEE OR SOMETHING 425 00:22:27,647 --> 00:22:29,248 BEFORE I PICK UP THE KIDS. 426 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,183 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? I'LL GO WITH YOU. 427 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:32,685 NO NO NO, IT'S OKAY. I'M FINE. 428 00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:36,723 I'M JUST TIRED, THAT'S ALL. 429 00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:41,027 OH, I FORGOT MY LETTER. 430 00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:43,062 OH, I'LL KEEP THIS-- 431 00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:46,232 I'LL KEEP THIS, YOU KNOW, FOR YOU. 432 00:22:46,332 --> 00:22:48,267 AND THEN YOU TAKE THIS WEEK, 433 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,036 YOU THINK ABOUT IT. 434 00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:52,539 AND IF YOU WANT IT BACK, IF YOU WANT TO SEND IT, 435 00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:54,206 I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU. 436 00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:58,277 TAKE A WEEK TO DO WHAT? 437 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:01,448 TO SEE YOUR PATIENTS. 438 00:23:01,548 --> 00:23:04,417 ( sighs ) GINA, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING-- 439 00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:07,520 I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY PATIENTS. 440 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:09,922 SEE YOUR PATIENTS, PAUL. 441 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:13,593 ACT AS IF YOU BELIEVE YOU'RE HELPING. 442 00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:24,003 ( theme music playing )