( sneezes )
( theme music playing )
SO HOW WAS YOUR WEEK?
KIND OF WEIRD.
- ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? - YEAH.
I GOT A LETTER THIS WEEK--
IN THE MAIL.
THAT HASN'T HAPPENED TO ME SINCE MY GRANDPARENTS WERE ALIVE.
CAN I ASK YOU WHO IS IT FROM?
MY BIRTH FATHER.
( sneezes )
ARE YOU OKAY?
I'M SORRY.
IT'S-- IT'S AN ALLERGY.
( chuckles )
( clears throat )
I'M SORRY. SO THIS--
( sniffles )
--THIS LETTER.
- YEAH. - WHEN DID IT ARRIVE?
A FEW DAYS AGO.
WELL, I'D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT IT SAYS.
HE SAYS HE MARRIED MY BIRTH MOTHER.
THAT'S A BIT OF A SHOCK.
UH, YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
HE SAYS
THEY GOT PREGNANT WITH ME WHEN THEY WERE, LIKE, 17.
17.
THEY SPLIT UP FOR A WHILE
AND THEN THEY GOT BACK TOGETHER AFTER COLLEGE
AND NOW THEY'RE MARRIED.
WOW.
UM...
IT SAYS
HE'S WRITING ON HER BEHALF-- KAREN'S.
SAYS SHE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT IT.
HE SAYS SHE'S REALLY DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE I HAVEN'T RESPONDED TO HER PHONE CALL
AND IT'S ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY
AND SHE ALWAYS GETS REALLY DEPRESSED AROUND MY BIRTHDAY.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.
ANYWAY, HE WANTS ME TO WRITE BACK
AND SAY, LIKE, YES, I'LL BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU
OR NO, GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
I'M PARAPHRASING.
HE SAYS HE LOVES ME.
WHAT A FUCKING RETARD.
I THINK THEY MIGHT BE KIND OF ASSHOLES, THESE PEOPLE.
GUESS WHAT ELSE?
I'M GETTING A "B" IN ALGEBRA.
A "B"? THAT'S-- THAT'S GREAT.
A "B" IS A FUCKING MIRACLE.
WE HAVE TO TAKE THESE MULTIPLE-CHOICE TESTS
BECAUSE MY TEACHER MR. NELSON
IS, LIKE, TOO LAZY TO GRADE A FUCKING--
ANYWAY, IT DOESN'T MATTER. THE POINT IS,
HE PUTS THE ANSWER SHEETS THROUGH THESE MACHINES
AND THEY COME OUT THE OTHER END.
USUALLY IF THERE ARE A LOT OF MISTAKES IT TAKES A REALLY LONG TIME
AND THE MACHINE MAKES ALL THESE BEEPING NOISES.
MINE JUST KIND OF ZIPPED OUT THE OTHER END.
( laughs )
MR. NELSON LOOKED SHOCKED.
DID YOU STUDY FOR THIS TEST?
YEAH, WHY?
THEN NOT SUCH A MIRACLE REALLY.
ROBERTO HELPED ME.
OH.
HE HELPED YOU STUDY?
SO YOU MUST HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT BEING SUSPENDED.
WHAT? OH YEAH.
- AND HOW DID HE TAKE THAT? - IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.
HMM.
LAST WEEK YOU SEEMED REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT TELLING HIM.
YOU WERE AFRAID THAT HE MIGHT BECOME VIOLENT.
THAT WAS A JOKE. JESUS, WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE
WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR AROUND HERE?
OKAY, BUT I STILL THINK THAT YOU WERE NERVOUS ABOUT HOW HE WOULD REACT.
FINE. I WAS, I GUESS.
BUT HE WAS COOL.
HE CAN BE COOL.
( distant siren wailing )
HMM.
DID YOU TALK TO HIM ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AT THE WHITNEY?
- YUP. - AND ABOUT NATE?
I TOLD HIM THAT NATE KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF ME, YES.
- AND DID YOU TELL HIM WHY? - 'CAUSE I'M GAY.
DID YOU TELL HIM THAT YOU AND NATE WERE--
THAT NATE WAS, UM--
DID YOU TELL HIM THAT NATE WAS FELLATING YOU?
WHAT? UM...
DO YOU HAVE A MERRIAM-WEBSTER DICTIONARY AROUND HERE?
I'M SORRY, I JUST-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WORD MEANS.
OH, COME ON, JESSE. YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT THE WORD MEANS.
NO, PAUL, I DID NOT TELL MY FATHER THAT NATE WAS SUCKING MY DICK.
- WHY NOT? - WHY WOULD I?
DO YOU THINK HE WANTS TO KNOW?
I MEAN, WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW IF YOUR KID--
YOU HAD NO PROBLEM TELLING YOUR MOTHER.
- THAT'S DIFFERENT. - AND WHY IS THAT?
CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE?
CAN'T IT JUST BE A NICE THING
THAT MY DAD HELPED ME STUDY AND I GOT A "B"?
IT IS A NICE THING, JESSE. YES.
HE'S REALLY GOOD AT MATH, MY DAD.
HE MUST HAVE BEEN PROUD OF THAT "B."
YEAH. I MEAN, HE WOULD HAVE RATHER IT WAS AN "A,"
BUT SURE.
SO CAN WE GO BACK
TO YOUR BIRTH FATHER'S LETTER FOR A MOMENT?
IF YOU WANT.
SO-- SO WHAT'S HIS NAME?
UM, KEVIN.
( chuckles )
KEVIN AND KAREN.
GOD, THAT'S PATHETIC, RIGHT?
LAST WEEK YOU TOLD MARISA THAT YOU WERE GONNA LIVE WITH KAREN.
THIS WEEK YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS HER SEEMS TO HAVE CHANGED.
UH...
I JUST THINK IT'S REALLY INAPPROPRIATE OF HIM TO CONTACT ME.
- INAPPROPRIATE? - YEAH. I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK?
I'M A MINOR, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS ILLEGAL.
I MEAN, THEY GAVE ME UP.
THEY DIDN'T WANT ME.
AND, LIKE, NOW THAT SOMEBODY ELSE HAS RAISED ME
FOR 17 YEARS AND, LIKE, FED ME AND CLOTHED ME
AND KEPT ME ALIVE AND EVERYTHING--
NOW SUDDENLY THEY WANT BACK IN?
NO, SORRY. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.
AND HOW DO YOU THINK IT WORKS?
PEOPLE HAVE ONE SET OF PARENTS. ONE.
NOT TWO. AND I'VE ALREADY GOT MINE.
BUT DO YOU THINK KAREN AND KEVIN REALLY WANT TO BE YOUR PARENTS?
ISN'T IT POSSIBLE THAT THEY MIGHT BE LOOKING
FOR SOME OTHER KIND OF RELATIONSHIP?
- LIKE WHAT? - LIKE FRIENDSHIP.
MAYBE THEY JUST WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU.
( thunder rumbles )
DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW THAT YOU GOT A LETTER FROM KEVIN?
I WROTE A RESPONSE.
- DO YOU WANT TO HEAR IT? - SURE.
"DEAR KEVIN,
THANK YOU FOR CONTACTING ME REGARDING MY ORIGINS.
I APOLOGIZE FOR CAUSING KAREN PAIN
AND I UNDERSTAND YOUR REQUEST.
HOWEVER, I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW
THAT KAREN'S CALL CAUSED SIGNIFICANT DISTRESS
TO MY ADOPTIVE PARENTS
WHO HAVE TAKEN THE TROUBLE TO CARE FOR ME
FOR THE LAST 17 YEARS.
I HOPE THEREFORE THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT AT THE PRESENT TIME
I DO NOT WISH TO BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU.
I RESPECTFULLY REQUEST THAT YOU DO NOT REINITIATE CONTACT
WITH MY CURRENT PLACE OF RESIDENCE OUT OF RESPECT FOR ITS INHABITANTS.
SINCERELY, JESSE SAUL D'AMATO."
I TOOK AN ADDERALL TO WRITE IT.
I THINK IT CAME OUT PRETTY WELL.
THANK YOU FOR READING IT TO ME.
IT'S, UM... ( clears throat )
IT'S PRETTY FORMAL.
YEAH, BUT I MEAN, WHY NOT, RIGHT?
I'M SMART AND THEY SHOULD KNOW THAT.
- DO YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW THAT? - IT'S A FACT, RIGHT?
WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK I'M SMART?
- I DIDN'T SAY THAT, JESSE. - LOOK, I DON'T REALLY CARE. I JUST...
SO YOU DON'T LIKE THE LETTER?
( thunder rumbles )
WHEN YOU CAME IN TODAY,
I ASKED YOU HOW THE PAST WEEK HAD BEEN
AND YOU SAID IT WAS WEIRD.
YEAH, SO?
SO APART FROM THIS LETTER ARRIVING,
DID ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN DURING THE WEEK
THAT WAS WEIRD?
I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
MARISA.
MARISA WAS FUCKING WEIRD.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - WHAT DO YOU THINK I MEAN?
WHAT, SHE TURNED GREEN? SHE WAS SPEAKING IN TONGUES?
NO, SHE WON'T GET OUT OF BED, OKAY?
IS THAT WEIRD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
OKAY, I CAN SEE WHY YOU WOULD THINK THAT WAS WEIRD.
AND THEN WHEN I ASKED HER IF EVERYTHING WAS OKAY
SHE JUST TOLD ME SHE WAS SICK
AND ASKED ME TO CLOSE THE DOOR.
YOU DON'T THINK SHE'S SICK THOUGH.
I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HER.
AND YOU HAVEN'T SPOKEN AT ALL ABOUT KAREN'S PHONE CALL?
NO. IT'S LIKE THE WHOLE CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED.
YOU SAID IN THE LETTER THAT KAREN'S PHONE CALL
CAUSED "SIGNIFICANT DISTRESS" TO YOUR PARENTS.
- YUP. - YOUR PARENTS.
MARISA TOLD ROBERTO.
( huffs ) HE BLEW A GASKET.
HE SAID IT WAS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE
OF THEM TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
HE SAID IT WAS PROBABLY ILLEGAL.
I MEAN, HE SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL THE COPS.
HE DIDN'T, BUT...
GOD, I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM THAT MAD.
HE'S REALLY NOT AN ANGRY GUY.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF I SAID LAST WEEK.
I MEAN, HE'S ITALIAN, YOU KNOW,
SO HE OBVIOUSLY HAS A TEMPER.
BUT IT TAKES A LOT TO SET HIM OFF.
- I USED TO TRY WHEN I WAS A KID. - WHY?
I DON'T KNOW. JUST TO, LIKE, SEE WHERE HIS BREAKING POINT WAS.
YOU SAID EARLIER ON THAT YOU WERE A LOT CLOSER TO YOUR FATHER
- WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER. - YEAH.
AND THAT SOMETHING CHANGED; THAT HE BECAME MORE DISTANT.
YEAH, BUT I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND.
HE WAS BUILDING HIS BUSINESS.
I MEAN, MY GRANDFATHER WAS DYING.
HE HAD TO START TAKING MORE JOBS OUT OF TOWN.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE MISSED HIM.
THIS SUDDEN DISPLAY OF EMOTION, HIM GETTING ANGRY
WHEN HE HEARD ABOUT KAREN'S CALL--
- I MEAN, THAT MUST HAVE FELT-- - WHAT?
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME?
( thunder rumbling )
IT FELT... FUCKING AWESOME.
WHY?
BECAUSE HE GAVE A FUCKING SHIT.
DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE THEN THAT HIS REACTION
HAS INFLUENCED YOUR RESPONSE TO KEVIN'S LETTER?
- NO. - NO?
WHAT PART OF THAT WORD DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
LOOK, JESSE, YOU REALIZED THAT KAREN'S PHONE CALL
WAS CAUSING YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER PAIN.
SO IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE IF YOU FELT RESPONSIBLE--
- I DON'T. - OKAY.
LOOK, THEY RAISED ME.
THEY WIPED MY ASS. THEY TAUGHT ME TO READ.
I MEAN, THEY CHANGED MY SHEETS EVERY TIME I WET THE BED,
WHICH I DID UNTIL I WAS 10, BY THE WAY.
SO IT IS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS FOR THESE PEOPLE--
STRANGERS-- TO THINK THAT THEY CAN JUST WALTZ BACK INTO MY LIFE
AFTER THEY GAVE ME UP FOR DEAD AND HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME.
RELATIONSHIPS HAVE TO BE EARNED.
- THAT IS TRUE. - I KNOW.
- GAVE YOU UP FOR DEAD? - ( scoffs )
IT'S A FIGURE OF FUCKING SPEECH.
IS IT YOUR FIGURE OF SPEECH?
DO YOU FEEL THAT YOU WERE DIFFICULT TO RAISE?
- ( laughs ) COME ON, MAN. - IS THAT A YES?
I HAVE A.D.D. AND I'M A SLUT.
WOULD YOU HAVE WANTED A KID LIKE ME?
YES.
WELL...
GIVE YOUR SON ANOTHER YEAR OR TWO
AND MAYBE YOU'LL GET YOUR WISH.
SO HOW DID YOUR FATHER REACT TO KEVIN'S LETTER?
JESSE?
HE DIDN'T.
- HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY REACTION? - NO. I DIDN'T TELL HIM.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM? - I JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT.
I MEAN, HE GOT SO ANGRY ABOUT KAREN'S PHONE CALL.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT REALLY ANY OF HIS BUSINESS ANYWAY.
WHAT IS IT, JESSE?
NOTHING.
WHY ARE YOU SHAKING YOUR HEAD?
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU MUST BE FEELING
AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF PRESSURE RIGHT NOW.
HOW IS THE STATIC?
IT'S FUCKING LOUD, MAN.
I THINK HE'S LEFT-HANDED LIKE ME.
KEVIN?
YEAH.
THERE'S SMUDGE MARKS ON HIS LETTER,
LIKE WHAT HAPPENS TO ME WHEN I WRITE.
LOOK.
AND, UM...
HERE'S MINE.
FUCK.
THEY DO--
THEY DO KIND OF LOOK ALIKE.
FUCK!
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION?
OH, LET ME GUESS. YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU.
YES, I WOULD. IT'S A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE, JESSE.
NOT MANY PEOPLE HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS.
I WANT TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS.
SO YES, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TELL ME.
DO YOU THINK HE LOOKS, LIKE, EXACTLY LIKE ME?
NO.
BUT HE'S PROBABLY PRETTY SIMILAR LOOKING, RIGHT?
MAYBE YOU LOOK MORE LIKE KAREN.
KAREN.
JESUS.
I THINK THERE'S A PART OF YOU THAT'S STILL INTERESTED
IN A PRIVATE RELATIONSHIP WITH KEVIN AND KAREN
INDEPENDENT OF YOUR PARENTS.
- I THINK THAT WORRIES YOU. - WHY WOULD IT WORRY ME?
BECAUSE I JUST THINK THAT EVER SINCE YOUR FATHER
FOUND OUT ABOUT KAREN'S PHONE CALL HE'S BEEN
PAYING MUCH MORE ATTENTION TO YOU.
HE GOT ANGRY,
BUT HIS ANGER SEEMS TO HAVE COMFORTED YOU.
IT SEEMS THAT THIS REACTION IS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR SINCE YOU WERE A KID.
BECAUSE TO YOU IT'S A SIGN THAT HE CARES.
AND IT MIGHT SEEM RIGHT NOW THAT THE WAY TO GAIN
AND KEEP HIS LOVE IS TO JUST REJECT KEVIN AND KAREN.
AND THE WAY TO LOSE HIS LOVE PERHAPS
IS TO REACH OUT TO THEM.
YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE THEORY YOU HAD LAST WEEK?
THE ONE WHERE MARISA GAVE UP ON CATHOLICISM
BECAUSE THE CHURCH DIDN'T SUPPORT MY SEXUAL IDENTITY?
- MM-HMM. - IT'S HORSESHIT.
YEAH, I WENT INTO HER ROOM TODAY
TO SEE IF SHE NEEDED ANYTHING
BECAUSE SHE HASN'T LEFT THE BED IN A WEEK.
SHE WASN'T IN THERE BUT THE CLOSET DOOR WAS A LITTLE OPEN.
AND SHE WAS IN THERE
ON HER KNEES PRAYING.
( chuckles ) GOD.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
IN THE FUCKING CLOSET.
I COME OUT AND SHE GOES IN.
WHY DO YOU THINK SHE'S DOING THAT?
I GUESS SHE DOESN'T WANT ME TO INTERRUPT
HER LITTLE TETE-A-TETE WITH JESUS.
I THINK YOUR MOTHER IS REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW.
- WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SCARED OF? - LOSING YOU.
MAYBE SHE FEELS YOU'RE SLIPPING AWAY FROM HER.
AND IT'S POSSIBLE THAT SHE MIGHT BE TURNING TO RELIGION,
TO HER RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD,
BECAUSE THAT PROVIDES HER WITH SOME KIND OF COMFORT
AND A SENSE OF CONTROL.
SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE HER PRAYING
BECAUSE SHE'S AFRAID YOU'LL THINK SHE'S CHOOSING
THE CHURCH OVER YOU.
( thunder rumbles )
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY MARRIED EACH OTHER.
YEAH.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE A WHOLE OTHER SET
OF PARENTS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK THEIR HOUSE IS LIKE?
I DON'T KNOW.
ANYWAY, I THINK THAT WE SHOULD--
WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT NEXT WEEK.
LET'S BOTH THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WANT TO RESPOND
TO YOUR BIRTH PARENT'S LETTER,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO.
OKAY.
YOU KNOW,
I KIND OF FEEL LIKE IT'S ALL GONNA BE OKAY FOR SOME REASON.
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
GOOD.
OH WAIT-- YOUR LETTERS.
UM, WILL YOU KEEP THEM FOR ME?
SOMETIMES MARISA GOES THROUGH MY BAG.
OKAY.
THANKS.
( theme music playing )