1
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,218
SO...

2
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:21,422
SO I TOOK THE TRAIN
TO RISD.

3
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,992
AND I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH
MONEY FOR A TICKET,

4
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:27,261
SO I DECIDED TO DODGE
THE CONDUCTOR.

5
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,397
AND THEN
THEY CAUGHT ME

6
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,365
AND I ENDED UP
IN THE PRECINCT.

7
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,035
AND YOU CALLED
YOUR FATHER.

8
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:36,170
YEAH.

9
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,539
AND YOU CAME
TO PICK HIM UP?

10
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:39,773
OF COURSE.

11
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,409
HE WAS UP ON A JOB
UP IN BUFFALO.

12
00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:44,112
IT TOOK HIM EIGHT HOURS
TO DRIVE.

13
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,050
SO HOW WAS THAT?

14
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,819
HOW WAS WHAT?

15
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:53,954
PICKING JESSE UP
AT THE PRECINCT.

16
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,589
FINE.

17
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,959
I PAID WHAT HE OWED
AND THEY RELEASED HIM.

18
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,529
SO THERE WASN'T ANY
FURTHER DIFFICULTY?

19
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,364
NO.

20
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:07,067
I'M SORRY, BUT I'M JUST
HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE
UNDERSTANDING

21
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,537
HOW THIS INCIDENT

22
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:12,573
LED TO YOUR DECISION
TO QUIT THERAPY.

23
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:17,010
WELL, WE HAD A TALK
ON THE CAR RIDE BACK
INTO THE CITY

24
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:20,481
AND NOW I FEEL
A LOT BETTER, SO...

25
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,253
AND WHAT--

26
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:28,122
WHAT DID YOU
TALK ABOUT?

27
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:30,191
MARISA MOSTLY

28
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,660
AND HOW SHE
FUCKED ME UP.

29
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,962
YOU USE THAT
KIND OF LANGUAGE
IN FRONT OF HIM?

30
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:37,831
NO, NOT REALLY.

31
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,667
SOMETIMES.

32
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,803
SEEMS KINDA DISRESPECTFUL,
DOESN'T IT?

33
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:45,873
YEAH, I GUESS.

34
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:49,076
SO YOU WERE
DISCUSSING MARISA.

35
00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:51,412
- CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
- YEAH, DAD, OF COURSE.

36
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,114
WHEN MARISA WAS HERE,
SHE WOULDN'T SHUT UP.

37
00:01:56,750 --> 00:02:00,321
I KNOW JESSE'S
BEEN COMING HERE
FOR A WHILE NOW.

38
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,390
AND I HEARD
FROM MY WIFE

39
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,358
THAT IT'D BEEN
DOING HIM SOME GOOD.

40
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,595
WE HAVEN'T REALLY
TALKED ABOUT IT,
JESSE AND ME,

41
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:10,331
BECAUSE I KNOW
HE LIKES HIS PRIVACY,

42
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:14,101
SO I DIDN'T WANT
TO PRY.

43
00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,737
BUT I ASKED HIM ABOUT IT
ON THE WAY BACK.

44
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:20,073
I ASKED HIM
WHAT HE'D BEEN
DISCUSSING WITH YOU.

45
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:23,544
HE SAID MARISA.

46
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,947
NOW LISTEN,
I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL,

47
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,616
BUT IT OCCURRED
TO ME

48
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:31,285
THAT YOU DON'T HAVE
ALL THE FACTS, DOCTOR.

49
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:34,288
SO I TOLD HIM A STORY
ABOUT THE WAY

50
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,590
MARISA TREATED HIM WHEN
HE WAS A LITTLE BABY,

51
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,260
AND IT SEEMS TO
HAVE HELPED HIM OUT.

52
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,162
WOULDN'T YOU SAY?

53
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,598
SO THERE IT IS.

54
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,235
I'M SORRY,

55
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:49,903
I'M STILL
NOT FOLLOWING.

56
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,706
WE FIGURED IT OUT.

57
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,875
YOU FIGURED WHAT OUT?

58
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,076
MY PROBLEM.

59
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,179
YOUR PROBLEM
IS MARISA?

60
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,682
WHEN JESSE TOLD ME
HE GOT A PHONE CALL

61
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,951
FROM THAT WOMAN
IN WESTCHESTER,

62
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,320
I WANTED
TO STEP IN THEN.

63
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,322
I WAS GONNA CALL HER
BACK AND TELL HER

64
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,090
TO KEEP HER NOSE JOB
OUT OF MY FAMILY.

65
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,792
BUT MY WIFE SAID,
"DON'T DO IT.

66
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,528
LET JESSE HANDLE IT.
HE'S IN THERAPY."

67
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:17,598
IN THERAPY.

68
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,767
IT SOUNDS TO ME
YOU'RE A LITTLE--

69
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,603
YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT
DUBIOUS OF THERAPY,
MR. D'AMATO.

70
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,205
I'M AN ELECTRICIAN.
THE LIGHTS GO ON--

71
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,007
YOU'RE GOOD
AT YOUR JOB.

72
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,977
THE HOUSE STAYS DARK--
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN
A PLUMBER.

73
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:32,346
BUT YOU--
WHAT YOU DO--

74
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,782
IT'S MORE COMPLICATED.
I UNDERSTAND THAT.

75
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:38,218
WELL, I'D BE HAPPY
TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS
YOU MIGHT HAVE.

76
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,853
HE TOLD ME LAST WEEK
WHEN HE WAS IN HERE

77
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,855
HE WAS THINKING ABOUT
MAYBE KILLING HIMSELF.

78
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:45,092
AND YOU JUST LET HIM
WALK OUT OF HERE.

79
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,961
DON'T YOU THINK YOU
SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME

80
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,763
OR MY WIFE?

81
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,799
- I DID CONSIDER THAT.
- YOU CONSIDERED IT?

82
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:56,270
JESSE SEEMED UPSET TO ME,
BUT NOT SUICIDAL.

83
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,905
THAT'S YOUR
PROFESSIONAL OPINION?

84
00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,440
YES, IT IS.

85
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:06,314
DID YOU TELL MY SON
TO TAKE THE TRAIN
UP TO WESTCHESTER

86
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,316
AND GO VISIT THE PEOPLE
WHO GAVE HIM UP?

87
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:12,920
DID YOU THINK THAT WAS
BEST FOR JESSE--

88
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,023
HAVING THE DOOR SLAMMED
IN HIS FACE BY A COUPLE
OF RICH ASSHOLES

89
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:19,727
WHO WERE TOO CHICKENSHIT
TO FACE THEIR OWN MISTAKE?

90
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,665
WELL, EXCUSE ME
FOR SAYING THIS,

91
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,634
BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE
BEEN A PLUMBER.

92
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,838
HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU
FOR ALL OF IT?

93
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:34,508
YOUR WIFE IS UP TO DATE
WITH ALL OF THAT.
THANK YOU.

94
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,478
COME ON, JESSE.
WE'RE DONE HERE.

95
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:40,013
MR. D'AMATO, I WOULD
LIKE TO TALK TO JESSE,

96
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,249
IF I MAY,
BEFORE YOU LEAVE.

97
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:43,851
SO TALK.

98
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,286
ALONE.

99
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:51,325
YOU WANT TO TALK
TO HIM?

100
00:04:57,197 --> 00:05:01,769
( theme music playing )

101
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:23,290
I HAD ENOUGH MONEY
FOR A REGIONAL TICKET,

102
00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:26,427
BUT THERE WAS AN EXPRESS
TRAIN LEAVING RIGHT WHEN
I GOT TO PENN STATION.

103
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,229
SO I FIGURED I WOULD JUST
BUY A REGULAR TICKET

104
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,799
AND AVOID
THE CONDUCTOR.

105
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:34,535
I MEAN, IT WAS KIND OF
FUN ACTUALLY.

106
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:37,505
THE TRICK IS-- NEVER SIT.
IF YOU SIT, YOU'RE SUNK.

107
00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:40,741
YOU HAVE TO STAY
ONE CAR AHEAD OF HIM
AT ALL TIMES.

108
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,743
AND WHEN YOU GET
TO THE LAST CAR,

109
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,745
YOU JUST-- YOU HIDE
IN THE BATHROOM.

110
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,415
BUT I FUCKED UP.

111
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,249
I SAT RIGHT BEFORE
WE GOT TO PROVIDENCE

112
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,552
BECAUSE MY FEET
WERE TIRED.

113
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:54,422
AND SUDDENLY THERE WAS
THIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER.

114
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,289
AND THE GUY WAS LIKE,
"COME WITH ME, SON."

115
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:59,660
AND I WAS LIKE,
"DIDN'T I SEE YOU IN
'MIDNIGHT EXPRESS'?"

116
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,730
I KNOW.
IT WAS A JOKE, RIGHT?

117
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,732
BUT HE DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS FUNNY.

118
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:07,000
AND HE TOOK ME
DOWN TO THE PRECINCT,

119
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,302
WHICH WAS REALLY, LIKE,
SUCH A DICKHEAD MOVE

120
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:12,005
BECAUSE WE WERE ALREADY
IN PROVIDENCE.

121
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,107
GOD, PEOPLE CAN BE
SUCH ASSHOLES.

122
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,143
WELL, THAT IS TRUE.

123
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:19,212
THEY SAID THEY WOULDN'T
RELEASE ME UNTIL I PAID
FOR THE TICKET.

124
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,381
BUT I DIDN'T HAVE
ANY MONEY LEFT,

125
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:25,152
SO I OFFERED THEM ALL
BLOWJOBS,

126
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,588
BUT NOBODY BIT.
( chuckles )

127
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:33,226
SO YOU CALLED
YOUR FATHER.

128
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,829
YEAH WELL,
I THOUGHT ABOUT

129
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,466
CALLING SOMEBODY ELSE
FIRST, LIKE MS. U.

130
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:40,734
BUT THEN I FIGURED
SHE WAS PROBABLY
ON A DATE.

131
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,571
OH, SHE HAS
A NEW BOYFRIEND.

132
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:45,573
YOU MISSED YOUR CHANCE.

133
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:48,442
OH WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.

134
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,143
YEAH WELL, I MEAN,
SHE GOT SNATCHED UP
REALLY QUICK.

135
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,645
SHE'S REALLY HOT.

136
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,647
I WAS JUST TRYING
TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU.

137
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,450
SO DID YOU THINK ABOUT
CALLING ANYBODY ELSE?

138
00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:01,421
YEAH, BUT NOBODY
SEEMED RIGHT.

139
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,323
MM-HMM.

140
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:07,027
DID YOU THINK
ABOUT CALLING ME?

141
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:09,963
SURE.

142
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,667
AND WHY DIDN'T YOU?

143
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,070
I DON'T KNOW.

144
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,572
WAS IT BECAUSE

145
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,575
YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
ANGRY AT ME

146
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,144
FOR WHAT HAPPENED
HERE LAST WEEK?

147
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,548
MAYBE YOUR RUNNING AWAY
WAS TO SEND ME A MESSAGE.

148
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:30,684
WHAT KIND
OF A MESSAGE?

149
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,486
OH, "THIS IS
WHAT HAPPENS

150
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,523
WHEN YOU DON'T
TAKE CARE OF ME"
TYPE MESSAGE.

151
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,232
MAN, YOU GOT A SHITLOAD
OF BOOKS IN THIS OFFICE.

152
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:48,536
YES, I DO.
I LIKE TO READ.

153
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:50,571
WE BARELY HAVE ANY BOOKS
IN OUR HOUSE.

154
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,206
MAGAZINES--
LOTS OF MAGAZINES

155
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,942
BUT NO BOOKS.

156
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,312
HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN HERE?

157
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:02,249
OH, NOT LONG.
A FEW YEARS.

158
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,752
LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN
HERE FOREVER.

159
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,654
I USED TO LIVE
IN BALTIMORE.

160
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:09,957
AND I MOVED TO BROOKLYN
AFTER MY DIVORCE.

161
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,725
WHY BROOKLYN?

162
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,827
I STUDIED IN THE CITY
WHEN I WAS YOUNG.

163
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,529
AND I STARTED
MY PRACTICE HERE.

164
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:18,365
IT'S A GOOD PLACE
TO BE ALONE

165
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:21,134
BUT NOT TO FEEL
LONELY.

166
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:24,905
AND YOU WANTED
TO FEEL ALONE?

167
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,808
I THINK AT THAT TIME
I NEEDED TO BE, YEAH.

168
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:34,114
HOW COME YOU'RE SUDDENLY
ANSWERING ALL MY QUESTIONS?

169
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,720
IS IT BECAUSE THIS IS
MY LAST SESSION?

170
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,323
IS THAT WHAT
YOU WANT--

171
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,693
FOR THIS TO BE
THE LAST SESSION?

172
00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:50,764
LOOK, IT TOOK ROBERTO
EIGHT HOURS

173
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,033
TO GET THERE
FROM BUFFALO.

174
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:57,170
I WAS AFRAID HE WAS
GOING TO KILL ME.

175
00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,708
BUT HE WASN'T
MAD AT ALL.

176
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:04,144
I MEAN, HE WAS ACTUALLY,
LIKE, THE LEAST MAD
I'D EVER SEEN HIM.

177
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,613
HOW DO YOU MEAN?

178
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,748
I DON'T KNOW.
I SAW HIM AND--

179
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,883
I HEARD HIM FIRST,
BECAUSE I WAS IN THIS
OTHER ROOM

180
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:13,153
AND THEY WOULDN'T LET ME
SEE HIM UNTIL HE PAID
FOR THE TICKET.

181
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:16,556
BUT I HEARD HIM ASKING,

182
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:19,559
"I'M ROBERTO D'AMATO.

183
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,995
WHERE IS MY SON?"

184
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,100
WHEN I FINALLY
CAME OUT, HE--

185
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,703
HE GRABBED ME

186
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,940
AND HE HUGGED ME LIKE--

187
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,709
LIKE--

188
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,614
LIKE I REALLY WAS
HIS SON.

189
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,053
WELL,

190
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:50,924
THAT MUST REALLY
HAVE FELT SO GOOD.

191
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,927
IT'S A WONDERFUL THING
TO REALLY KNOW

192
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,463
THAT YOUR FATHER
LOVES YOU.

193
00:09:56,563 --> 00:10:00,701
CAN YOU TELL ME MORE
ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION
ON THE WAY HOME?

194
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,470
WE STOPPED
AT CONEY ISLAND.

195
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:06,439
WE USED TO GO THERE
ALL THE TIME WHEN
I WAS YOUNGER.

196
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,042
YES, I REMEMBER YOU
TELLING ME THAT.

197
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:15,582
AND HE SAID
IT WAS HIS IDEA

198
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:17,350
TO ADOPT ME.

199
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,519
HE'D LOST
BOTH HIS PARENTS

200
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,989
WHEN HE WAS REALLY
YOUNG-- LIKE 18.

201
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:25,458
AND HE SAID AFTER THAT
HE FELT LIKE THERE WAS
THIS HOLE IN HIS HEART.

202
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:28,662
AND HE THOUGHT
IT WOULD GO AWAY
WHEN HE GOT MARRIED,

203
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,364
BUT IT DIDN'T.

204
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,368
HE SAID
WHEN HE SAW ME

205
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,570
AND WHEN HE FIRST
HELD ME,

206
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,407
HE SAID THE HOLE
CLOSED IMMEDIATELY,

207
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,377
LIKE MAGIC.

208
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,583
THAT'S A LOT OF
INFORMATION TO TAKE IN.

209
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,085
YEAH.

210
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,956
HE-- HE DIDN'T REALLY KNOW
HOW TO TELL ME, I GUESS.

211
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,258
HMM.

212
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,327
AND DID YOU EVER FEEL
THIS FROM YOUR FATHER

213
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,295
WHEN YOU WERE
GROWING UP,

214
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,497
EVEN IF HE COULDN'T
EXPRESS IT?

215
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:08,368
YEAH, I MEAN,
I'VE NEVER REALLY, LIKE,
HAD A PROBLEM WITH HIM.

216
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,503
IT'S MOSTLY MY MOM.

217
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,707
YOUR MOM.

218
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,709
YOU SAID EARLIER

219
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,745
THAT YOU TALKED A LOT
ABOUT MARISA

220
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,579
DURING THIS CONVERSATION.

221
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,415
YEAH WELL, HE SAID

222
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,684
WHEN THEY FIRST
BROUGHT ME HOME
FROM THE HOSPITAL

223
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,619
WHEN I WAS A BABY,

224
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,621
THAT I CRIED
ALL THE TIME

225
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,724
AND MARISA COULDN'T
MAKE ME STOP.

226
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:33,426
AND THEN THAT JUST LIKE
MADE HER FEEL REALLY BAD,

227
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,963
BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T
EVEN FEEL

228
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,664
LIKE SHE WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE A MOTHER.

229
00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:39,166
WHY NOT?

230
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:41,168
SHE CAN'T HAVE KIDS.
SHE CAN'T GET PREGNANT.

231
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:44,805
SO SHE FELT
INADEQUATE TO BEGIN WITH
BECAUSE OF THAT.

232
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,807
AND WHEN SHE COULDN'T
COMFORT YOU,

233
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:49,642
IT CONFIRMED HER FEARS
ABOUT HERSELF?

234
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:53,613
YEAH, AND HE SAYS
SHE'S JUST LIKE NEVER
REALLY GOTTEN OVER IT.

235
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,983
I MEAN, SHE'S NERVOUS
AROUND ME,

236
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,851
AND THAT MAKES
ME NERVOUS.

237
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,719
THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL
AROUND YOUR MOTHER--
NERVOUS?

238
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:04,257
YEAH, AND LIKE SUDDENLY
EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKING
CLEAR, YOU KNOW?

239
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,526
UM, NO.
WHAT'S CLEAR?

240
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,528
NONE OF THIS
IS MY FAULT.

241
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,430
ALL MY LIFE I'VE
WALKED AROUND THINKING

242
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,199
THAT SOMETHING WAS
WRONG WITH ME.

243
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:15,135
THERE HAD TO BE,
OBVIOUSLY, BECAUSE I FREAK
MY MOTHER OUT.

244
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,838
AND THAT WASN'T NORMAL.
I KNEW THAT

245
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,808
BECAUSE I SAW
THE WAY OTHER KIDS WERE
AROUND THEIR MOTHERS.

246
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,276
AND THEN
THERE WAS MARISA.

247
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:26,847
BUT NOW I REALIZE
THE PROBLEM ISN'T ME
AT ALL.

248
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:29,817
THE PROBLEM IS HER.

249
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:35,588
YOU SOUND RELIEVED.

250
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,157
UH, YEAH.

251
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,026
MAJORLY.

252
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:41,995
YOU KNOW, IT CAN BE--

253
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,997
IT CAN BE VERY
EMPOWERING

254
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:47,034
TO START TO UNDERSTAND
OUR PARENTS

255
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,602
AS FALLIBLE

256
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:52,339
AND TO SEE HOW OFTEN

257
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,908
THEIR ACTIONS SPRING

258
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,944
FROM THEIR
OWN INSECURITIES,

259
00:12:57,044 --> 00:13:00,280
RATHER THAN
OUR INADEQUACIES.

260
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,882
I FEEL MUCH BETTER.

261
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:05,185
IT CAN ALSO BE
A SCARY EXPERIENCE.

262
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,356
IT WOULD MAKE
COMPLETE SENSE

263
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,992
IF SEEING YOUR MOTHER
AS FLAWED OR WEAK

264
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,361
MADE YOU FEEL INSECURE.

265
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,728
IT DOESN'T.

266
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,931
IT REALLY WOULD BE
TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE

267
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,033
IF YOU WERE
FEELING CONFUSED.

268
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,334
I'M NOT.

269
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,236
YOU'RE CLEAR?

270
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,505
YES.

271
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,942
AND WOULD YOU SAY THAT'S
COMING FROM INSIDE YOU?

272
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:32,612
AS OPPOSED TO WHAT?

273
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,314
YOUR FATHER.

274
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,220
YOU KNOW, LAST WEEK

275
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,456
I WAS A LITTLE
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

276
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:46,093
WELL, WE TALKED
THINGS THROUGH,

277
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:49,963
AND I REALLY FELT
CONFIDENT

278
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,664
THAT YOU WEREN'T
SUICIDAL.

279
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,134
WAS I WRONG?

280
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,402
NO.

281
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,371
BUT YOU TOLD ROBERTO
SOMETHING DIFFERENT. WHY?

282
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,240
I DON'T KNOW.

283
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:04,444
WERE YOU WORRIED
THAT IT WOULDN'T LAST?

284
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,146
THAT WHAT
WOULDN'T LAST?

285
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:08,181
HIS ATTENTION.
HIS CONCERN.

286
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,083
MAYBE YOU ARE WORRIED
THAT AFTER ALL THIS

287
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,185
HE'S GOING TO
DISAPPEAR AGAIN.

288
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,854
AND NOW THAT I HAVE
A LITTLE MORE INSIGHT
INTO YOUR FATHER--

289
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,389
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT MY FATHER.

290
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,892
I DON'T KNOW MUCH, BUT FROM
WHAT I'VE OBSERVED--

291
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:21,194
YOU DIDN'T OBSERVE SHIT.
HE WAS HERE FOR 10 MINUTES.

292
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,463
GOD, WHAT IS IT
WITH YOU?

293
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,532
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE SOME
SORT OF MIND-READER?

294
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:29,202
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE LIKE
SMARTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE?

295
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:31,538
WELL, YOU'RE NOT,
ALL RIGHT?

296
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,574
JUST BECAUSE
HE DOESN'T HAVE
A PhD FROM COLUMBIA

297
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,776
DOESN'T MEAN HE'S SOME
SORT OF FUCKING RETARD.

298
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,445
I NEVER SAID IT DID.

299
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:39,980
WELL, IT'S WHAT
YOU WERE THINKING.
I CAN TELL.

300
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,115
THEN YOU MUST BE
THE MIND-READER.

301
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:53,293
COULD WE GO BACK
TO LAST WEEK...

302
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,796
DUDE, I DON'T EVEN
REMEMBER LAST WEEK.

303
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,732
...WHEN YOU ASKED ME
TO JOIN YOU FOR ICE CREAM
ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?

304
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,534
SO WHAT?

305
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,871
WELL, I DECLINED

306
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,074
BECAUSE I THOUGHT
IT WAS IMPORTANT

307
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,376
FOR YOU TO BE
WITH YOUR REAL PARENTS
ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.

308
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:13,280
AND I KNEW THAT MY
DECISION MIGHT HURT YOU.

309
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:16,049
NOW I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE
KIND OF PUNISHING ME
FOR THAT,

310
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,986
TRYING TO PUSH ME AWAY
ONCE AND FOR ALL.

311
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,791
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO CHOOSE

312
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:29,096
BETWEEN ME AND
YOUR FATHER, YOU KNOW?

313
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:32,199
YOU CAN HAVE US BOTH.

314
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:35,302
WE FULFILL DIFFERENT
FUNCTIONS IN YOUR LIFE.

315
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:39,772
BUT IF YOU CLOSE
THE DOOR ON ME,

316
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:42,442
I'M NOT GONNA
COME AFTER YOU.

317
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,011
I CAN'T.

318
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,446
DO YOU UNDERSTAND
THAT?

319
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,384
YES.

320
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,722
I UNDERSTAND
EVERYTHING.

321
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:03,997
I SHOULD GO.

322
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,233
JESSE, HOLD ON A SECOND
BEFORE YOU GO.

323
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,472
I'M A LITTLE WORRIED
THAT YOUR FATHER

324
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:16,943
MAY BE TURNING YOU
AGAINST YOUR MOTHER.

325
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,179
NO, HE ISN'T.

326
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:23,316
WELL, HE TENDS TO PLACE
ALL THE BLAME ON HER.

327
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,085
HE SAYS SHE WASN'T
A GOOD MOTHER,

328
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,120
SHE WAS FRIGHTENED
OF YOU.

329
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,389
BUT MY QUESTION IS,
WHERE WAS HE

330
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,358
WHILE ALL THIS
WAS HAPPENING?

331
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,193
HE WAS WORKING
HIS ASS OFF.

332
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,128
HE WAS PROVIDING
FOR OUR FAMILY.

333
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,830
DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE
THAT HIS PERSPECTIVE MIGHT
NOT BE ACCURATE?

334
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,399
WHY ARE YOU TRYING
TO RUIN EVERYTHING?

335
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,934
- I'M NOT.
- LAST WEEK YOU TOLD ME
TO GO HOME.

336
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:44,304
YOU TOLD ME
TO TALK TO ROBERTO.

337
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:47,074
AND I DID THAT.
AND WE'RE COOL AGAIN

338
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:49,342
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN,
LIKE, FOUR FUCKING YEARS.

339
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:52,279
I MEAN, HE WANTS ME TO GO
WORK FOR HIS BUSINESS.

340
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:53,980
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT A BIG DEAL
THAT IS TO ME?

341
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,482
YES, I DO.

342
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,550
WELL, THEN WHY CAN'T YOU
JUST SHUT UP?

343
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,586
BECAUSE I'M WORRIED THAT
IF YOU LEAVE THERAPY,

344
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,122
EVERYTHING THAT WE'VE BEEN
TALKING ABOUT IN HERE--

345
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,891
YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS,
YOUR SEXUALITY,

346
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:06,759
THE ISSUE WITH
YOUR BIRTH PARENTS--

347
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,295
IT'S GONNA ALL
GET BURIED.

348
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,497
I'M NOT ENLISTING
IN THE FUCKING MARINES.

349
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:11,998
WHAT ABOUT
YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY?

350
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:13,400
IT CAN WAIT.

351
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,068
JESSE, DON'T DO THAT,
NOT NOW.

352
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,570
WE'VE JUST STARTED TO TALK
ABOUT WHO YOU REALLY ARE,

353
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:20,840
WHERE YOU COME FROM,
WHERE YOU'RE HEADED.

354
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:23,176
THERE IS SO MUCH GOOD WORK
JUST BEGINNING.

355
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,377
WHAT DO YOU WANT
FROM ME?

356
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,979
I WANT YOU TO KEEP
TALKING TO ME.

357
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,315
WHY IS THAT
SO IMPORTANT TO YOU?

358
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,183
BECAUSE YOU ARE
IMPORTANT TO ME.

359
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,719
THAT IS SO FUCKED.
THAT IS SO FUCKED UP.

360
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:35,855
- WHY IS IT FUCKED UP?
- BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
MY FUCKING FATHER!

361
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,224
( door opens )

362
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,793
DID I JUST HEAR YOU
CURSING AT HIM?

363
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:48,135
IT'S FINE.
LET'S GO.

364
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:51,171
WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE
UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE.

365
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,554
I'M SORRY.

366
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,258
ME TOO.

367
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,832
I'M DONE HERE, DAD.

368
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,168
JESSE,

369
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,370
COULD YOU JUST WAIT
FOR A SECOND?

370
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,782
THESE ARE YOURS.

371
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,714
( exhales )

372
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,760
( theme music playing )