1
00:01:12,236 --> 00:01:13,430
Hey, Brennan.

2
00:01:14,872 --> 00:01:17,773
Mom, I'm watching the thing with the lady.

3
00:01:17,942 --> 00:01:19,842
I'm leaving. Okay? I'll be home around 11.

4
00:01:20,010 --> 00:01:22,604
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Brennan.

5
00:01:22,780 --> 00:01:27,012
<i>Let's slowly get those hips up.
Good. Now, hold it right here. Great.</i>

6
00:01:32,523 --> 00:01:33,717
Dale.

7
00:01:33,890 --> 00:01:35,859
Dale, I'm leaving for the conference.

8
00:01:36,026 --> 00:01:39,462
- You leave me money for pizza, Dad?
- Yeah, there's $20 on the hall table.

9
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:41,860
Do not order pay-per-view, buddy.

10
00:01:42,032 --> 00:01:44,694
- But what if I want wings?
- You don't need wings.

11
00:01:44,869 --> 00:01:46,234
That's not enough, Dad!

12
00:01:46,403 --> 00:01:47,995
The RTI cochlear implant...

13
00:01:48,172 --> 00:01:50,732
is the state-of-the-art
implantable hearing device...

14
00:01:50,908 --> 00:01:55,140
due to its input processing of
sound via the speech processor.

15
00:01:55,312 --> 00:01:58,076
But the most exciting new development...

16
00:01:58,249 --> 00:01:59,739
is the external processor...

17
00:01:59,917 --> 00:02:02,147
which fits directly over the ear...

18
00:02:02,319 --> 00:02:06,449
which eliminates the need to put
your face between those breasts.

19
00:02:09,126 --> 00:02:13,563
I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm so lost.
And this never happens to me.

20
00:02:16,066 --> 00:02:19,160
My name is Robert, and I play
racquetball. I collect coins.

21
00:02:19,336 --> 00:02:21,065
Sweet Jesus! I love Korean food.

22
00:02:21,238 --> 00:02:24,071
I am Nancy Huff. I know
how to make tandoori chicken...

23
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,334
I contribute to NPR every single year...

24
00:02:26,510 --> 00:02:28,501
and I love the movies of Rob Reiner.

25
00:02:28,679 --> 00:02:30,738
Pilates changed my life.

26
00:02:30,915 --> 00:02:34,078
I have a boat, and I wanna retire
and sail around the world.

27
00:02:34,752 --> 00:02:36,879
- I love the sea!
- And I drive a Mercedes...

28
00:02:37,054 --> 00:02:39,955
and I have a 40-year-old son, Dale,
who still lives at home.

29
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:43,283
- What did you just say?
- I knew I shouldn't have told you that.

30
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,325
I have a thirty-nine
year old son named Brennan...

31
00:02:45,496 --> 00:02:48,056
who still lives at home with me.

32
00:02:58,142 --> 00:03:00,610
I would like to thank all of you...

33
00:03:00,778 --> 00:03:05,010
for being here with us
on this fantastic, wonderful day.

34
00:03:05,182 --> 00:03:08,345
And I would like to raise my glass.

35
00:03:08,519 --> 00:03:12,455
Dale and I wanna welcome you
to our home with open arms.

36
00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:17,291
- Get a room, Dad.
- Oh, for chri... Dale!

37
00:03:18,228 --> 00:03:21,994
Well, as you all know, my youngest
son, Derek, couldn't be here...

38
00:03:22,166 --> 00:03:24,464
because of an important fishing trip.

39
00:03:24,635 --> 00:03:29,971
But my other son, Brennan, was going
to be moving into his own place...

40
00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:33,234
but he was recently let go
from his job at PetSmart...

41
00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:37,210
so he is gonna be living with us.

42
00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:40,544
I wasn't fired from my job, I was laid off!

43
00:03:40,718 --> 00:03:42,811
But you wouldn't know the difference.

44
00:03:43,153 --> 00:03:47,556
I didn't want salmon! I said it four times.

45
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,661
This wedding is horseshit.

46
00:03:57,100 --> 00:04:00,002
Somebody's awfully quiet back there.

47
00:04:01,038 --> 00:04:03,199
I'm not gonna call him Dad.

48
00:04:03,707 --> 00:04:05,504
Brennan, you're thirty-nine years old.

49
00:04:05,676 --> 00:04:07,701
I would not expect you to call him Dad.

50
00:04:07,878 --> 00:04:12,508
Well, I'm not going to, ever.
Even if there's a fire.

51
00:04:13,550 --> 00:04:16,212
Robert better not get in my face...

52
00:04:16,854 --> 00:04:19,049
because I'll drop that motherfucker.

53
00:04:19,223 --> 00:04:20,554
Jesus, Brennan.

54
00:04:20,858 --> 00:04:24,919
I'm just saying, I think
you gotta think about your options.

55
00:04:25,095 --> 00:04:27,962
I know that you are technically married now...

56
00:04:28,132 --> 00:04:31,795
but that does not mean
that they have to live here.

57
00:04:32,569 --> 00:04:37,165
Dale, I think it's time for
a change for both of us.

58
00:04:38,242 --> 00:04:41,040
Dad, we're men, okay?

59
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:43,736
That means a few things.

60
00:04:43,914 --> 00:04:47,543
We like to shit with the
door open. We talk about pussy.

61
00:04:47,718 --> 00:04:51,119
We go on riverboat-gambling trips.
We make our own beef jerky.

62
00:04:51,288 --> 00:04:54,587
That's what we do. And now that is all wrecked.

63
00:04:55,492 --> 00:04:58,393
We literally have never done any of those things.

64
00:04:58,562 --> 00:05:00,792
Where did he go to medical school?

65
00:05:01,065 --> 00:05:03,499
He went to Northwestern and Johns Hopkins.

66
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:07,068
- Is that good enough for you?
- No, it's not.

67
00:05:07,304 --> 00:05:11,070
Well, Brennan, those are very prestigious schools.

68
00:05:11,608 --> 00:05:14,008
I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.

69
00:05:14,178 --> 00:05:16,772
You don't know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.

70
00:05:16,947 --> 00:05:19,882
It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering...

71
00:05:20,050 --> 00:05:22,883
and they were blazing that shit up every day.

72
00:05:23,053 --> 00:05:26,454
All right, here's a scenario for you, Dad.

73
00:05:26,623 --> 00:05:28,955
Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower...

74
00:05:29,126 --> 00:05:32,027
and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good.

75
00:05:32,196 --> 00:05:34,391
I've got a luscious V of hair...

76
00:05:34,565 --> 00:05:37,932
going from my chest pubes down to my ball-fro.

77
00:05:38,102 --> 00:05:40,866
And she takes one look at me, and she goes:

78
00:05:41,038 --> 00:05:42,471
"Oh, my God.

79
00:05:42,639 --> 00:05:46,769
I've had the old bull,
now I want the young calf."

80
00:05:46,944 --> 00:05:50,539
- And she grabs me by the wiener.
- Shut the fuck up!

81
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,458
- Come on, Brennan.
- I'm fine here.

82
00:06:08,030 --> 00:06:10,295
- There you are.
- Hi.

83
00:06:10,467 --> 00:06:13,334
Oh, you look so cute
in your moving clothes.

84
00:06:13,504 --> 00:06:15,165
- How was it?
- It was easy.

85
00:06:15,339 --> 00:06:17,170
The movers did everything.

86
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:21,637
Where's Brennan?

87
00:06:22,846 --> 00:06:25,041
He's still in the car.

88
00:06:25,215 --> 00:06:26,705
It was kind of a rough drive.

89
00:06:26,884 --> 00:06:29,011
Hey, Robert, what's all the commotion?

90
00:06:29,186 --> 00:06:31,882
- Hey, Don.
- Is that your wife, Nancy?

91
00:06:32,055 --> 00:06:34,455
- Right here, Don.
- Can I come over this afternoon...

92
00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:36,525
- and touch your face?
- Sure.

93
00:06:36,693 --> 00:06:37,853
Thanks. Good luck, guys.

94
00:06:38,028 --> 00:06:39,120
We'll see you, Don.

95
00:06:39,296 --> 00:06:42,094
Let's go, Cinnamon. Heel, Cinnamon.

96
00:06:43,433 --> 00:06:45,025
Heel! Cinnamon!

97
00:06:47,137 --> 00:06:48,161
Cinnamon!

98
00:06:48,739 --> 00:06:49,933
Hi, Dale.

99
00:06:50,107 --> 00:06:52,837
Hey, Nancy. Could you make me
a grilled-cheese sandwich?

100
00:06:53,010 --> 00:06:54,500
- Sure.
- No.

101
00:06:54,678 --> 00:06:57,875
Dale just ate. He's testing you to
see how much he can get away with.

102
00:06:58,048 --> 00:06:59,777
- I see.
- I'm hungry.

103
00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:01,508
Look in your right hand.

104
00:07:01,685 --> 00:07:04,051
- I sure don't mind a bit. I really don't.
- No, no.

105
00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:06,348
No, no. He's fine.

106
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:31,673
Hey.

107
00:07:32,382 --> 00:07:33,474
Hey.

108
00:07:33,984 --> 00:07:35,246
I'm Brennan.

109
00:07:35,752 --> 00:07:37,117
I'm Dale.

110
00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:39,589
But you have to call me Dragon.

111
00:07:41,058 --> 00:07:43,288
You have to call me Nighthawk.

112
00:08:03,614 --> 00:08:04,638
Brennan.

113
00:08:06,984 --> 00:08:08,144
Please don't do that.

114
00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:19,019
Now, that's enough ketchup. Come on. Dale.

115
00:08:20,497 --> 00:08:22,260
- I like it.
- That's enough.

116
00:08:22,499 --> 00:08:24,558
Dale, I don't know if you...

117
00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:29,665
You might wanna try this. I make
a sauce, we call it "fancy sauce"...

118
00:08:30,073 --> 00:08:31,267
For me.

119
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:35,138
that Brennan really likes
with his chicken nuggets.

120
00:08:35,312 --> 00:08:36,574
It's my fancy sauce.

121
00:08:36,747 --> 00:08:41,946
Well, when Brennan finishes,
I'll give you some of this, and it's...

122
00:08:42,119 --> 00:08:45,384
It's ketchup and
mayonnaise mixed together, so...

123
00:08:45,555 --> 00:08:47,352
It's so good.

124
00:08:47,524 --> 00:08:49,389
- I want some fancy sauce.
- Yeah.

125
00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,584
- I'm not done using it.
- Looks good.

126
00:08:51,762 --> 00:08:54,595
- Can I have fancy sauce?
- Of course. Of course.

127
00:08:54,765 --> 00:08:56,357
- I'm using it right now.
- Okay.

128
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,764
- So let's just let him try some.
- You wanna try it, Dale?

129
00:08:59,936 --> 00:09:02,200
Yeah, I really would like some.

130
00:09:02,439 --> 00:09:03,736
Just one last spoonful.

131
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:07,375
Hey, I think you've got
enough there, Brennan.

132
00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:09,676
- So here you go.
- Thanks.

133
00:09:09,846 --> 00:09:11,211
It's ketchup and mayonnaise.

134
00:09:13,483 --> 00:09:15,474
- I don't like it. It smells weird.
- Okay.

135
00:09:15,652 --> 00:09:17,051
- I'll try some.
- You want some?

136
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:18,482
- Sure. Absolutely.
- Okay.

137
00:09:18,822 --> 00:09:21,313
You don't mind, do you, Brennan? No. Okay.

138
00:09:23,727 --> 00:09:25,388
- Brennan...
- I'm not comfortable...

139
00:09:25,562 --> 00:09:27,757
It's okay. It's probably
not good on fish anyway.

140
00:09:27,930 --> 00:09:30,832
My dad's king of the castle, so if he
wants fancy sauce, he should...

141
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,561
- No, it's all right, Dale.
- He can make his own batch.

142
00:09:33,737 --> 00:09:34,931
So you know what?

143
00:09:35,105 --> 00:09:40,008
Today, when you were driving around,
Dale was telling me that he's really...

144
00:09:40,177 --> 00:09:44,580
into kung fu, and I was telling him
that you're really into kung fu as well.

145
00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:48,641
I have a green belt.

146
00:09:49,386 --> 00:09:50,512
Read it and weep.

147
00:09:50,754 --> 00:09:52,585
I don't believe in belts.

148
00:09:52,856 --> 00:09:55,154
There should be no
ranking system for toughness.

149
00:09:55,359 --> 00:09:58,624
But one time I wrestled a giraffe
to the ground with my bare hands.

150
00:09:58,795 --> 00:10:00,888
That's not true, Dale. Don't be ridiculous.

151
00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:05,734
So, Dale, what have you been working on recently?

152
00:10:06,002 --> 00:10:07,230
Well...

153
00:10:08,438 --> 00:10:10,201
I manage a baseball team.

154
00:10:11,174 --> 00:10:14,337
- Little League?
- Fantasy league.

155
00:10:22,719 --> 00:10:24,584
Take a picture. It'll last longer.

156
00:10:24,755 --> 00:10:27,724
Why don't you stop being
so confrontational, Dale?

157
00:10:27,890 --> 00:10:29,518
I'm not the one staring at me.

158
00:10:30,227 --> 00:10:31,751
So, Brennan, how about you?

159
00:10:32,195 --> 00:10:35,790
I know you used to work at PetSmart.

160
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:39,197
- That's right, Mr. Doback.
- Call me Robert.

161
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:42,771
- That's right, Robin.
- Robert.

162
00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:44,402
Robin.

163
00:10:45,542 --> 00:10:49,842
Actually, Brennan is a really talented person.

164
00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,147
He's a very gifted singer.

165
00:10:52,783 --> 00:10:55,308
- I'm really, really good.
- How good?

166
00:10:56,653 --> 00:10:59,918
I've been called the songbird of my generation...

167
00:11:00,090 --> 00:11:02,217
by people who've heard me.

168
00:11:02,392 --> 00:11:03,416
That good.

169
00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:05,993
The only trick is is that Brennan's very...

170
00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:11,392
particular about who he sings in front of, so...

171
00:11:11,568 --> 00:11:15,129
I'm his mom, for example,
I've only heard him sing twice.

172
00:11:15,305 --> 00:11:17,830
That's funny that you say that,
because I can sing too.

173
00:11:18,008 --> 00:11:19,703
In fact, I'll sing right now.

174
00:11:19,876 --> 00:11:23,004
If you wanna get down on these hairy balls

175
00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:25,512
- Hey!
- Why don't you jump right in?

176
00:11:25,682 --> 00:11:27,513
It's a crotch party right up in here

177
00:11:27,684 --> 00:11:29,879
- Stop it!
- Why don't you lick on this big joint?

178
00:11:30,053 --> 00:11:32,817
Stop it, Dale! Stop it! Stop it!

179
00:11:32,989 --> 00:11:34,081
That's cute.

180
00:11:34,257 --> 00:11:36,248
I remember when I had my first beer.

181
00:11:36,426 --> 00:11:38,758
That's so funny,
the last time I heard that...

182
00:11:38,929 --> 00:11:40,920
I laughed so hard
I fell off my dinosaur.

183
00:11:41,097 --> 00:11:43,964
Stop right now. All right?
Let's just back off.

184
00:11:44,768 --> 00:11:47,635
All right. Brennan, it's okay. It's okay.

185
00:11:48,104 --> 00:11:49,503
Hey, hey.

186
00:11:49,673 --> 00:11:51,573
- Great, Dale.
- He said a mean thing first.

187
00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:54,437
All right, just...
Look, you know what...? Hey, guys.

188
00:11:54,878 --> 00:11:57,676
Okay, sleeping arrangements.
It's gonna be different...

189
00:11:57,848 --> 00:12:01,477
but because Dale refuses
to give up his office drum set...

190
00:12:02,652 --> 00:12:06,019
that means that, Brennan, you and
Dale are gonna have to share a room.

191
00:12:06,189 --> 00:12:09,158
- But it's just temporary.
- Mom, we didn't talk about this.

192
00:12:09,326 --> 00:12:12,784
Well, it's gonna be
an exciting adventure.

193
00:12:12,963 --> 00:12:16,831
You wanna show him the room, Dale?
Show him where he can put his stuff?

194
00:12:18,034 --> 00:12:21,470
- That's nice, thank you.
- Good night, Nancy.

195
00:12:22,172 --> 00:12:26,404
Hey, listen, I like to have
a lot of fresh fruit around...

196
00:12:26,576 --> 00:12:29,443
and chocolate chips
in my pancakes. Okay?

197
00:12:29,613 --> 00:12:31,877
- Write it so you don't forget.
- Show him the room.

198
00:12:32,315 --> 00:12:34,647
She's Mom now, so...

199
00:12:35,018 --> 00:12:36,849
- Good night, Mom.
- Good night, Brennan.

200
00:12:38,355 --> 00:12:41,620
- Good night, Mr. Doback.
- Good night, Brennan.

201
00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:52,760
So just a few basic rules about the house.

202
00:12:52,936 --> 00:12:54,836
If there's any foods that you like...

203
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:58,532
I suggest you put your name
on them, or they will be thrown out.

204
00:12:58,708 --> 00:13:00,232
By me.

205
00:13:00,844 --> 00:13:04,075
House was built in 1825 by General Custer.

206
00:13:04,247 --> 00:13:06,442
I wanna show you this room.

207
00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,711
Hold up.

208
00:13:09,553 --> 00:13:11,418
- You see this room?
- Yeah.

209
00:13:11,588 --> 00:13:13,453
Okay, here's the deal.

210
00:13:14,390 --> 00:13:17,792
This is my office and my beat laboratory.

211
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,451
Okay?

212
00:13:19,629 --> 00:13:21,688
And this is the one rule of the house:

213
00:13:21,865 --> 00:13:25,460
Don't ever, ever, ever...

214
00:13:25,635 --> 00:13:28,160
touch my drum set.

215
00:13:28,338 --> 00:13:30,203
- You understand?
- Don't go in there and...

216
00:13:30,373 --> 00:13:32,466
- No touching!
- All right!

217
00:13:32,642 --> 00:13:34,940
There. I was at about six there.

218
00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:37,079
You don't wanna see me go to ten.

219
00:13:37,247 --> 00:13:39,681
Get your shit. We're going to my room.

220
00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:48,951
Honey?

221
00:13:50,327 --> 00:13:53,558
I just found a chain of islands
that we can sail to after New Zealand.

222
00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:55,163
That's wonderful.

223
00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:59,894
You know, I've been meaning to ask you...

224
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:08,377
Why is it that Dale never left?

225
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,345
Well, Dale has always
coasted off my accomplishments.

226
00:14:13,516 --> 00:14:15,541
I mean, he left college his junior year...

227
00:14:15,719 --> 00:14:18,347
because he said he wanted
to join the family business.

228
00:14:18,688 --> 00:14:22,590
- But you're a medical doctor.
- Believe me, I've told him that.

229
00:14:22,759 --> 00:14:25,990
But he just always says,
"It's all about who you know."

230
00:14:26,162 --> 00:14:28,596
I don't know where he got
this sense of entitlement.

231
00:14:28,865 --> 00:14:31,959
Maybe it was his mother passing.
What about Brennan?

232
00:14:32,135 --> 00:14:33,602
From what you've told me...

233
00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:36,204
his younger brother Derek's
been quite successful.

234
00:14:36,373 --> 00:14:39,774
Well, certainly when his father and
I split, that was difficult for him.

235
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:45,471
And this one time, when Brennan was
seventeen and Derek was fourteen...

236
00:14:45,649 --> 00:14:48,550
and Brennan decided to enter a talent show.

237
00:14:49,653 --> 00:14:53,555
He sang a song from an old pirate musical.

238
00:14:53,723 --> 00:14:58,626
But Derek got his football buddies
to replace the choir and sing:

239
00:14:58,795 --> 00:15:00,695
"Brennan has a mangina."

240
00:15:00,864 --> 00:15:04,322
<i>Brennan has a mangina
Brennan has a mangina</i>

241
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:11,031
Finally, the audience and even some
of the nastier parents started singing:

242
00:15:11,207 --> 00:15:12,868
"Brennan has a mangina."

243
00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:17,302
And I have to admit, for a little
while, I sort of joined in as well.

244
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,612
From that day on, Brennan never sang again.

245
00:15:21,785 --> 00:15:25,721
Derek went on to win the contest
by lip-synching "Ice Ice Baby."

246
00:15:30,593 --> 00:15:33,084
- Oh, that's a great song.
- It is.

247
00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:39,926
- Hey, you awake?
- Yeah.

248
00:15:42,772 --> 00:15:47,835
I just want you to know
I hate you. So does my dad.

249
00:15:49,145 --> 00:15:51,238
Well, that's fine.

250
00:15:52,582 --> 00:15:54,243
Because guess what.

251
00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:56,578
I hate you too.

252
00:15:56,753 --> 00:16:00,120
And this house sucks ass.

253
00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:02,383
Well, the only reason you're living here...

254
00:16:02,559 --> 00:16:06,154
is because me and my dad decided
that your mom was really hot...

255
00:16:06,329 --> 00:16:08,923
and maybe we should just both bang her.

256
00:16:09,099 --> 00:16:11,363
And we'll put up with
the retard in the meantime.

257
00:16:11,868 --> 00:16:14,336
- Who's the retard?
- You.

258
00:16:14,604 --> 00:16:17,266
- Hey, y'all don't say that.
- Shut up.

259
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,540
You'll wake up my dad and get me grounded.

260
00:16:20,176 --> 00:16:21,609
Just shut up.

261
00:16:21,845 --> 00:16:24,678
You and your mom are hillbillies.

262
00:16:24,848 --> 00:16:29,717
- This is a house of learned doctors.
- You're not a doctor.

263
00:16:30,086 --> 00:16:32,646
You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck.

264
00:16:33,556 --> 00:16:36,047
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

265
00:16:36,226 --> 00:16:38,217
- I'm a curly-headed fuck?
- Yeah.

266
00:16:38,394 --> 00:16:40,021
You better not go to sleep.

267
00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:43,890
As soon as your eyes shut, I'm gonna
punch you square in the face.

268
00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:46,433
I hope you stay still when you sleep...

269
00:16:46,603 --> 00:16:49,663
because I'm putting a rat trap between your legs.

270
00:16:49,839 --> 00:16:54,105
I'm gonna take a pillowcase
and fill it full of bars of soap...

271
00:16:54,277 --> 00:16:55,744
and beat the shit out of you.

272
00:16:59,582 --> 00:17:02,073
I want you out of my fucking house.

273
00:17:02,252 --> 00:17:05,312
No way, kemosabe.

274
00:17:05,488 --> 00:17:08,048
This is my house now.

275
00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:12,753
How do you like The Gilded Lady?

276
00:17:12,929 --> 00:17:14,988
I wish we could retire right now.

277
00:17:15,165 --> 00:17:17,099
Won't be long.

278
00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:29,942
Oh, God! It's cold!

279
00:17:31,114 --> 00:17:33,844
Hey! Is anyone listening? Help!

280
00:18:20,263 --> 00:18:22,731
Fuck you, Dale! Fuck you!

281
00:18:22,899 --> 00:18:24,662
<i>- obviously you guys are hot. You know?</i>

282
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:27,860
<i>Just revealed her cover.
I was like, "Wow, this is hot."</i>

283
00:18:28,037 --> 00:18:31,006
<i>A little girl-on-girl.
A little heaven, a little hell.</i>

284
00:18:34,177 --> 00:18:36,270
- Hey.
- Hey.

285
00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:41,641
- Why you so sweaty?
- I was watching Cops.

286
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:44,210
Not supposed to have your feet on the couch.

287
00:19:08,278 --> 00:19:09,870
Hey, man.

288
00:19:10,647 --> 00:19:11,875
Did you touch my drum set?

289
00:19:13,383 --> 00:19:16,284
- Nope.
- It's just weird...

290
00:19:17,287 --> 00:19:20,916
because seems like someone
definitely touched my drum set.

291
00:19:21,224 --> 00:19:24,125
Yeah, that is weird.
Because I didn't touch them.

292
00:19:24,627 --> 00:19:27,824
- Hey! Did you touch my drum set?
- Hey, knock it off!

293
00:19:27,997 --> 00:19:31,797
I know you touched my drumstick,
because the left one has a chip in it.

294
00:19:33,002 --> 00:19:34,469
You fucking crazy, man?

295
00:19:34,637 --> 00:19:38,539
You sound insane, do you realize
that? You should be medicated.

296
00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:41,176
Fuck you, Brennan. I know you touched my drum set.

297
00:19:41,344 --> 00:19:43,107
I wanna hear that dirty mouth admit it.

298
00:19:43,279 --> 00:19:46,146
You get out of my face,
or I'm gonna roundhouse your ass.

299
00:19:46,316 --> 00:19:48,807
You swear on your mom's life
that you didn't touch it!

300
00:19:48,985 --> 00:19:50,009
I don't swear to shit!

301
00:19:50,186 --> 00:19:52,450
That's because you fucking touched my drum set...

302
00:19:52,622 --> 00:19:54,647
<i>...because I know Cops doesn't start till four.</i>

303
00:19:57,694 --> 00:20:00,857
- Where are you going?
- I'm going upstairs.

304
00:20:01,030 --> 00:20:04,761
Because I'm gonna put my nut sack
on your drum set. Okay?

305
00:20:04,934 --> 00:20:08,165
Don't you do that. I am warning you right now!

306
00:20:08,338 --> 00:20:12,968
If you touch my drums, I will
stab you in the neck with a knife!

307
00:20:13,376 --> 00:20:17,472
If you even go in the room,
I will go ape-shit, you hear me?

308
00:20:17,647 --> 00:20:19,274
Don't wanna miss a spot.

309
00:20:19,649 --> 00:20:21,674
John Bonham's playing "Moby Dick" for real!

310
00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:24,376
I swear to God. I swear to God! No!

311
00:20:33,796 --> 00:20:34,990
I warned you.

312
00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:38,459
There's one rule in the house, and you broke it!

313
00:20:48,644 --> 00:20:50,236
I didn't touch your damn drum set!

314
00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,311
I'm pre-diabetic!

315
00:21:00,556 --> 00:21:04,219
You fucking fucker! I'm gonna
rub my balls on your mom's face!

316
00:21:06,295 --> 00:21:07,319
Come back here!

317
00:21:12,368 --> 00:21:15,804
I'll kill you! You son of a bitch!

318
00:21:16,572 --> 00:21:18,335
Your drum set's a whore!

319
00:21:18,508 --> 00:21:20,703
I teabagged your fucking drum set!

320
00:21:20,877 --> 00:21:24,404
Well, my drum set's a guy,
so that makes you gay, you fucker!

321
00:21:24,580 --> 00:21:27,014
I'll kill you!

322
00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:29,715
I think it's gonna go generic soon, okay?

323
00:21:29,886 --> 00:21:32,116
- <i>Line three.</i>
- Oh, thanks, Miles.

324
00:21:32,288 --> 00:21:33,778
Yeah.

325
00:21:35,224 --> 00:21:37,886
Jules? Wait, what's wrong?

326
00:21:39,462 --> 00:21:44,024
- Back!
- You touched my drum set, you fucker!

327
00:21:45,068 --> 00:21:47,798
Stop it! Stop it!

328
00:21:47,970 --> 00:21:51,371
- Rape! Rape! Rape!
- Stop it! Stop! Stop.

329
00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:53,600
- Stay out of this, Nancy!
- Stop it, you guys.

330
00:21:54,477 --> 00:21:56,502
- Oh, my God, you're hurting him!
- No, Nancy!

331
00:21:57,213 --> 00:21:59,738
Cinnamon! Stop it!

332
00:22:00,416 --> 00:22:03,715
My mom is being eaten by a dog,
there's nothing I can do!

333
00:22:03,886 --> 00:22:05,478
- No, a story has a...
- Excuse me.

334
00:22:05,655 --> 00:22:08,089
Dr. Doback, the phone's for you.
I think it's urgent.

335
00:22:08,257 --> 00:22:09,281
Hello?

336
00:22:09,459 --> 00:22:11,791
<i>Robert, they're like animals!
I can't stop them!</i>

337
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,429
Stop screaming. Please. I'm on my way.

338
00:22:14,597 --> 00:22:16,758
There seems to be some savage fight going on...

339
00:22:16,933 --> 00:22:19,128
between my son and stepson, so I...

340
00:22:20,636 --> 00:22:22,263
Family issues, huh?

341
00:22:22,438 --> 00:22:26,605
I don't believe in talking about
people's personal lives behind their back.

342
00:22:26,708 --> 00:22:26,805

343
00:22:26,709 --> 00:22:28,609
You know nobody likes you, right?

344
00:22:29,078 --> 00:22:32,912
Rape! Rape! Rape!

345
00:22:36,853 --> 00:22:37,945
What's going on?

346
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,385
Robert! They won't... They won't...

347
00:22:40,556 --> 00:22:42,547
- Stop it! Stop it!
- Dale, what...?

348
00:22:42,725 --> 00:22:44,659
- Stay out of it, Dad!
- Stop it!

349
00:22:53,002 --> 00:22:55,698
What the fucking fuck?

350
00:22:59,909 --> 00:23:01,900
Someone got some air. Snap.

351
00:23:02,678 --> 00:23:04,270
- I still hate you.
- Still hate you.

352
00:23:05,014 --> 00:23:06,504
Such power. It's raw power.

353
00:23:06,682 --> 00:23:08,479
What are you doing? It's Shark Week.

354
00:23:08,650 --> 00:23:09,777
Okay, here's the deal:

355
00:23:09,952 --> 00:23:13,649
Number one, you will fix
the fucking drywall now.

356
00:23:13,823 --> 00:23:17,156
Number two, you have one month to
find jobs or you're out on your asses.

357
00:23:17,326 --> 00:23:20,022
I will arrange interviews
for Monday, and you will go!

358
00:23:20,196 --> 00:23:23,996
Dad, why are you talking to
me like this? I'm your son.

359
00:23:24,167 --> 00:23:25,691
I'm not buying that crap anymore.

360
00:23:26,035 --> 00:23:29,698
Today I saw my own son
use a bicycle as a weapon.

361
00:23:29,872 --> 00:23:32,602
You yelled "rape" at the top of your lungs.

362
00:23:32,775 --> 00:23:37,109
Mom, I honestly thought
I was gonna be raped for a second.

363
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,771
He had the craziest look in his eyes.

364
00:23:39,949 --> 00:23:42,440
And at one point he said, "Let's get it on."

365
00:23:42,818 --> 00:23:45,651
That was about the fighting. I'm so not a raper.

366
00:23:45,820 --> 00:23:47,618
I didn't touch your drum set, okay?

367
00:23:47,790 --> 00:23:52,921
I witnessed with my eyes
your testicles touching my drum set.

368
00:23:53,095 --> 00:23:55,620
All right, that's it! That's it!

369
00:23:55,830 --> 00:23:57,799
You two guys leave me no choice.

370
00:23:58,134 --> 00:23:59,601
No television for a week.

371
00:23:59,835 --> 00:24:00,859
- What?!
- What?!

372
00:24:01,037 --> 00:24:03,164
- We are so serious, guys.
- You're fucking high!

373
00:24:03,339 --> 00:24:04,567
Are you out of your mind?

374
00:24:04,740 --> 00:24:07,573
This goes in Robert's wall
safe and it's gonna stay there.

375
00:24:07,743 --> 00:24:09,574
- No!
- Okay.

376
00:24:09,745 --> 00:24:13,408
- This house is a fucking prison!
- On planet Bullshit!

377
00:24:13,583 --> 00:24:16,814
In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

378
00:24:47,283 --> 00:24:50,411
Hi! Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol.

379
00:24:52,054 --> 00:24:55,751
- Hey.
- You can't catch me.

380
00:25:00,496 --> 00:25:01,861
I gotcha.

381
00:25:02,030 --> 00:25:03,555
I gotcha.

382
00:25:09,672 --> 00:25:11,196
Aunt Carol's on fire!

383
00:25:28,357 --> 00:25:29,949
I don't know where you learned it.

384
00:25:30,126 --> 00:25:32,890
- Well, there's lots more where that...
- My God.

385
00:25:33,062 --> 00:25:36,554
- Oh, no. What happened?
- What the...?

386
00:25:37,099 --> 00:25:38,589
Oh, my God.

387
00:25:39,335 --> 00:25:42,827
Maybe Dale left the back door
open and raccoons got in.

388
00:25:43,005 --> 00:25:45,405
Nancy? Is this your purse in the freezer?

389
00:25:45,940 --> 00:25:48,409
Yes. It's Brennan.

390
00:25:48,577 --> 00:25:52,069
He sleepwalks and he always
puts my purse in the freezer.

391
00:25:52,248 --> 00:25:53,875
Dale sleepwalks too.

392
00:25:54,050 --> 00:25:56,518
- Are you kidding me?
- I'm not. Look in the oven.

393
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,787
- What's in the...? Couch pillows?
- Couch pillows.

394
00:26:00,956 --> 00:26:02,423
Yeah, Dale.

395
00:26:04,260 --> 00:26:05,557
Come on.

396
00:26:06,095 --> 00:26:08,586
- It's okay.
- It's really hard.

397
00:26:08,764 --> 00:26:09,958
It's gonna be fine.

398
00:26:10,132 --> 00:26:13,624
They're gonna get jobs, they'll
be gone in a month. A month.

399
00:26:20,343 --> 00:26:21,367
Guys.

400
00:26:23,779 --> 00:26:26,577
- Guys. Guys!
- I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.

401
00:26:26,749 --> 00:26:28,774
The clown has no penis.

402
00:26:29,485 --> 00:26:31,476
What kind of dreams are you guys having?

403
00:26:31,654 --> 00:26:33,246
Hey, it's 12:30.

404
00:26:33,422 --> 00:26:36,152
Brennan, your brother's coming today, so get up.

405
00:26:36,325 --> 00:26:37,656
- Today?
- Yep.

406
00:26:37,827 --> 00:26:41,126
- Shit.
- What's your problem?

407
00:26:41,297 --> 00:26:44,095
My little brother's even
a bigger asshole than you are.

408
00:26:44,667 --> 00:26:47,135
All right, let's really nail
it this time. Here we go.

409
00:26:47,303 --> 00:26:51,763
A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.

410
00:27:11,127 --> 00:27:14,460
All right, Tommy, you're the oldest.
I'm counting on you. Come on.

411
00:27:26,442 --> 00:27:29,468
Nice vibrato, buddy.
All right, all right, Alice, let's go.

412
00:27:31,847 --> 00:27:34,077
Flat. It's so flat.

413
00:27:34,250 --> 00:27:37,117
I can't even... You don't even
look good while you're singing.

414
00:27:37,286 --> 00:27:39,049
The worst thing I've ever heard.

415
00:27:39,220 --> 00:27:42,349
This is $1200 a week for voice
lessons, and this is what I get?

416
00:27:42,525 --> 00:27:44,288
Okay, I'm gonna save it with this solo.

417
00:27:45,860 --> 00:27:47,795
I'm Derek

418
00:27:47,963 --> 00:27:52,593
And I can sing high like this

419
00:27:53,369 --> 00:27:56,463
And I can sing high

420
00:27:59,475 --> 00:28:00,840
Jesus!

421
00:28:15,458 --> 00:28:18,689
We were so sad you guys
couldn't come to the wedding.

422
00:28:18,860 --> 00:28:20,522
- But we completely understand.
- Yeah.

423
00:28:20,696 --> 00:28:22,596
You were busy fishing with Mark Cuban.

424
00:28:22,765 --> 00:28:24,756
Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, not just the Cubes...

425
00:28:24,934 --> 00:28:28,301
but we had Chris Daughtry,
Jeff Probst, super-chef Bobby Flay.

426
00:28:28,470 --> 00:28:30,564
It was insane. I mean, it was almost too much.

427
00:28:30,739 --> 00:28:32,070
My God, that's impressive.

428
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,573
Yeah, we were down in the Gulf, fishing bonito.

429
00:28:34,743 --> 00:28:37,712
Robert, have you ever been down
to the Gulf on the bonito run?

430
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,677
Always wanted to. I hear it's amazing.

431
00:28:39,849 --> 00:28:42,374
- It is. It's gorgeous.
- Are bonito fish big?

432
00:28:43,819 --> 00:28:44,843
What?

433
00:28:45,020 --> 00:28:47,011
Don't interrupt when he's telling a story.

434
00:28:47,189 --> 00:28:49,680
- It's fine, Robert.
- I was asking about the story.

435
00:28:49,859 --> 00:28:52,851
- What's this guy's deal?
- I don't know, son. It's okay.

436
00:28:53,028 --> 00:28:56,623
Well, Dale, they are what's
called a trophy fish.

437
00:28:56,799 --> 00:29:00,462
So, yeah, they're pretty big.

438
00:29:00,803 --> 00:29:02,100
I'm sorry.

439
00:29:04,473 --> 00:29:06,236
Anyway...

440
00:29:07,142 --> 00:29:09,610
Oh, God, I'm sorry, I forget
where my story was going.

441
00:29:09,778 --> 00:29:10,972
Damn it, Dale.

442
00:29:11,146 --> 00:29:12,374
- No...
- Robert.

443
00:29:12,548 --> 00:29:13,742
- What?
- What? I asked him.

444
00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:16,612
No, he can join in, Robert. It's really okay.

445
00:29:16,785 --> 00:29:18,650
Well, I asked him twice not to interrupt.

446
00:29:18,820 --> 00:29:22,621
Gang, don't be mad at Dale for ruining
the story. And possibly the evening.

447
00:29:22,790 --> 00:29:24,918
It's totally fine. I have a lot more stories.

448
00:29:25,094 --> 00:29:28,393
- Derek, that you do. That you do.
- Yeah.

449
00:29:28,564 --> 00:29:32,159
- Guilty as charged with the stories.
- Oh, God, you're impressive.

450
00:29:33,068 --> 00:29:35,093
Come on. I love talking to you.

451
00:29:36,138 --> 00:29:38,971
From across the room,
I feel like we have a thing.

452
00:29:39,140 --> 00:29:43,237
You and me, man. You're my
new stepdad. You're unbelievable.

453
00:29:43,579 --> 00:29:47,515
- I never heard that laugh before.
- Dad, why are you acting so weird?

454
00:29:47,683 --> 00:29:50,117
Oh, hey, by the way, guys,
where's my bro, Brennan?

455
00:29:58,260 --> 00:30:02,788
You're right about your brother. Total dick.

456
00:30:02,965 --> 00:30:04,455
Told you.

457
00:30:04,633 --> 00:30:06,225
You know what? I still hate you...

458
00:30:06,402 --> 00:30:09,098
but you got a pretty awesome
collection of nudie mags.

459
00:30:09,270 --> 00:30:11,796
Yeah, I got them from the '70s, '80s and '90s.

460
00:30:12,808 --> 00:30:15,276
It's like masturbating in a time machine.

461
00:30:15,644 --> 00:30:19,478
Anyway, so I figure by the summer
of 2010, we can probably set sail.

462
00:30:19,648 --> 00:30:22,515
But I think about it every day of my life.

463
00:30:22,685 --> 00:30:24,949
Let me ask you this, Bob, why wait two years?

464
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,213
- Well, I gotta make more money.
- Okay, look.

465
00:30:27,389 --> 00:30:28,617
I hear you, believe me.

466
00:30:28,790 --> 00:30:31,658
But what if I were to tell you
that I could sell this house...

467
00:30:31,827 --> 00:30:33,556
for thirty percent above market?

468
00:30:33,729 --> 00:30:37,221
- That'd be great. Could you do it?
- Yeah. In a heartbeat, Robby.

469
00:30:37,399 --> 00:30:40,698
Look, I got my real-estate license
a few years back for shits and gigs.

470
00:30:40,869 --> 00:30:42,530
I'd do it for four-fifths commish...

471
00:30:42,705 --> 00:30:44,969
because you know what really gets my dick hard?

472
00:30:45,140 --> 00:30:46,402
Helping out my friends.

473
00:30:46,575 --> 00:30:49,408
That'd be fantastic.
That'd be fanta... Oh, my God.

474
00:30:49,578 --> 00:30:51,910
- No, it would be kick-ass, bro.
- Oh, man.

475
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,708
Right there.

476
00:30:55,384 --> 00:30:56,817
What about Dale and Brennan?

477
00:30:56,986 --> 00:30:59,045
Because they haven't even gotten jobs yet.

478
00:30:59,220 --> 00:31:01,655
God, change the record.

479
00:31:01,990 --> 00:31:03,618
Sweet!

480
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:08,425
Robert. Don't talk to me
like that in front of my son.

481
00:31:08,597 --> 00:31:11,930
Oh, come on. We're talking about
our dream, the boat. Come on.

482
00:31:12,100 --> 00:31:15,969
Yeah, it's our dream, but I think it
all needs to be done in good time.

483
00:31:16,138 --> 00:31:19,699
I'm just saying give it some thought,
okay? That's it. That's all I'm saying.

484
00:31:19,875 --> 00:31:23,038
Holy shit, triplets.

485
00:31:23,779 --> 00:31:25,838
It's true, three's company.

486
00:31:26,015 --> 00:31:28,040
- It shows tons of bush.
- Hey, hey, careful.

487
00:31:28,217 --> 00:31:30,344
Careful with that. You're crinkling.

488
00:31:30,619 --> 00:31:33,588
That's a collector's item.
It's worth a lot of money.

489
00:31:33,922 --> 00:31:35,014
What's up, faggots?

490
00:31:35,190 --> 00:31:38,387
What's up, man? What, you're not
gonna come down, say hi to me?

491
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:39,584
Hi, Derek.

492
00:31:39,762 --> 00:31:42,663
Whoa, calm down, man. I'm just joking.

493
00:31:43,198 --> 00:31:45,792
You guys, I really like
your guys' setup up here.

494
00:31:45,968 --> 00:31:47,560
What is your problem, man?

495
00:31:47,870 --> 00:31:51,135
My problem? I don't know.
I don't have a problem, Dale.

496
00:31:51,306 --> 00:31:53,536
Actually, I have the opposite of a problem:

497
00:31:53,709 --> 00:31:56,200
I made over $550k last year.
How much did you make?

498
00:31:56,378 --> 00:31:58,869
- It's not about money.
- No, it's not about money.

499
00:31:59,048 --> 00:32:01,141
Well, for me, it's a little bit about money...

500
00:32:01,316 --> 00:32:03,375
and I made that much money last year.

501
00:32:03,552 --> 00:32:05,019
I am the VP of the biggest...

502
00:32:05,187 --> 00:32:08,884
executive-helicopter-leasing
company on the Western Seaboard.

503
00:32:09,058 --> 00:32:11,993
Okay? I haven't had a carb since 2004.

504
00:32:12,995 --> 00:32:15,463
Check these out. See these? See these boys?

505
00:32:15,630 --> 00:32:16,962
This is what I live with.

506
00:32:17,132 --> 00:32:19,623
Every day I lather this up
with Kiehl's in the shower.

507
00:32:19,802 --> 00:32:22,464
You wanna touch this shit?
You wanna touch these bad boys?

508
00:32:23,238 --> 00:32:24,830
Sorry, not gonna happen.

509
00:32:25,007 --> 00:32:26,406
Is there something you want?

510
00:32:26,575 --> 00:32:28,338
I promised Mom I'd offer you a job.

511
00:32:28,644 --> 00:32:31,442
I told her it'd count as her
Christmas present, so...

512
00:32:31,613 --> 00:32:33,478
No. I'm never gonna work for you.

513
00:32:33,649 --> 00:32:34,809
Fine. I don't care.

514
00:32:34,983 --> 00:32:38,441
The truth is I just smoked a j
out in my car a few minutes ago...

515
00:32:38,620 --> 00:32:40,554
so feeling a little spacy.

516
00:32:40,723 --> 00:32:42,782
Know what I'm say...?
What's up with you, man?

517
00:32:43,425 --> 00:32:45,052
What you looking at, kemosabe?

518
00:32:45,227 --> 00:32:46,558
You...

519
00:32:46,929 --> 00:32:49,227
You wanna punch me right now.

520
00:32:49,798 --> 00:32:52,631
You wanna punch me right now, but you won't.

521
00:32:53,469 --> 00:32:54,697
You wanna punch me too?

522
00:32:54,870 --> 00:32:57,634
You guys both look like you
might wanna hit me in the face.

523
00:32:57,806 --> 00:32:59,933
You do, I can tell.
Well, why don't you do it?

524
00:33:00,109 --> 00:33:01,701
Why don't you punch me in the face?

525
00:33:01,877 --> 00:33:03,504
Punch me in the fucking face!

526
00:33:10,252 --> 00:33:12,812
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my shoulder!

527
00:33:12,988 --> 00:33:14,216
That was awesome.

528
00:33:14,389 --> 00:33:16,380
Mom! Mom!

529
00:33:16,558 --> 00:33:18,924
Derek, know what's always
good for shoulder pain?

530
00:33:19,094 --> 00:33:21,392
- What?
- If you lick my butthole.

531
00:33:21,563 --> 00:33:23,360
Snap!

532
00:33:25,067 --> 00:33:26,659
- Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Bobby.
- Sure.

533
00:33:26,835 --> 00:33:30,168
Aside from that retard trying to punch
me, it was a pretty good evening.

534
00:33:30,339 --> 00:33:33,740
- It was our pleasure, son.
- Why are you calling him that?

535
00:33:33,909 --> 00:33:35,137
Oh, don't, don't.

536
00:33:35,310 --> 00:33:38,108
Bye, kids. I'll check out that
stock you recommended, Tommy.

537
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:39,304
Excuse me.

538
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,939
- Hi. I'm Alice, I'm Derek's wife.
- Hi.

539
00:33:43,118 --> 00:33:46,576
Is it true you struck Derek in the
face and he fell from the tree house?

540
00:33:46,755 --> 00:33:48,245
Yeah. He asked me to.

541
00:33:48,423 --> 00:33:50,721
Oh, that's the most amazing
thing I've ever heard.

542
00:33:50,893 --> 00:33:52,485
I want you to know that tonight...

543
00:33:52,660 --> 00:33:56,188
I am gonna pleasure myself to the
image of you doing that to Derek.

544
00:33:56,365 --> 00:33:57,957
You know what I mean?

545
00:33:58,133 --> 00:33:59,760
Masturbate.

546
00:33:59,935 --> 00:34:01,596
I am.

547
00:34:01,770 --> 00:34:03,431
Oh, Dale.

548
00:34:03,605 --> 00:34:05,539
You are something.

549
00:34:06,108 --> 00:34:08,599
You are something.

550
00:34:09,878 --> 00:34:11,311
You're something too.

551
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:15,007
I wanna roll you into a little
ball and shove you up my vagina.

552
00:34:15,850 --> 00:34:19,912
You could just live there.
It's warm and it's cozy.

553
00:34:20,088 --> 00:34:21,180
In your vagina?

554
00:34:21,356 --> 00:34:24,792
I wanna walk around with you
in there and just know that...

555
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,451
whenever I feel a little tickle or scratch...

556
00:34:27,629 --> 00:34:30,962
that it's just your hair up my vagina.

557
00:34:31,133 --> 00:34:33,192
Please, just do it for me.

558
00:34:33,468 --> 00:34:34,867
What's happening?

559
00:34:37,039 --> 00:34:38,836
Kiss me.

560
00:34:42,210 --> 00:34:45,374
I know. I know. It's too much.

561
00:34:45,714 --> 00:34:47,944
It's too much.

562
00:34:51,019 --> 00:34:53,647
I hate my life, Dale.

563
00:34:54,056 --> 00:34:57,287
Dale, I hate my life!
I have nobody to talk to.

564
00:34:57,459 --> 00:34:59,427
- Well, you seemed okay at the di...
- Please.

565
00:34:59,595 --> 00:35:01,495
Alice! Honey, come on!

566
00:35:01,763 --> 00:35:05,290
Dane Cook, pay-per-view,
twenty minutes. Let's go!

567
00:35:05,467 --> 00:35:08,834
Coming, honey! I'm just talking to Dale.

568
00:35:09,004 --> 00:35:11,529
This is so stupid.

569
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:13,972
Call me.

570
00:35:14,142 --> 00:35:17,373
- I love you.
- Okay.

571
00:35:23,518 --> 00:35:25,986
- Hey. What'd she want?
- What?

572
00:35:26,488 --> 00:35:29,889
Nothing. Who's...? Who?

573
00:35:30,893 --> 00:35:31,917
Alice.

574
00:35:32,094 --> 00:35:36,121
We were just talking. Not...
It was not about sex or anything.

575
00:35:37,132 --> 00:35:39,498
I can't believe you hit Derek.

576
00:35:39,668 --> 00:35:42,296
I know. Did you see
the expression on his face?

577
00:35:42,470 --> 00:35:45,372
- That was cool.
- Listen.

578
00:35:45,774 --> 00:35:48,538
I know that we started out as foe.

579
00:35:48,944 --> 00:35:51,435
But after that courageous act...

580
00:35:51,613 --> 00:35:54,707
that you showed me against
the one they call Derek...

581
00:35:55,284 --> 00:35:59,618
maybe someday we could become friends.

582
00:36:00,455 --> 00:36:04,152
Friends who ride majestic,
translucent steeds...

583
00:36:04,326 --> 00:36:07,489
shooting flaming arrows
across the Bridge of Hemdale.

584
00:36:08,463 --> 00:36:11,660
I would follow you into the mists
of Avalon, if that's what you mean.

585
00:36:12,134 --> 00:36:15,160
Do you wanna see something cool
that only three people have seen?

586
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,609
Okay, open your eyes.

587
00:36:23,210 --> 00:36:25,338
See that black smudge
right there on the blade?

588
00:36:25,514 --> 00:36:27,311
- Yeah.
- Look at it closely.

589
00:36:27,482 --> 00:36:29,950
- Pretty recognizable signature.
- No.

590
00:36:30,118 --> 00:36:32,552
<i>Randy Jackson from American Idol.</i>

591
00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:35,884
Why do you have Randy Jackson's
autograph on a martial-arts weapon?

592
00:36:36,058 --> 00:36:38,492
I bumped into him and all I had was this sword...

593
00:36:38,660 --> 00:36:41,424
and you're not gonna not get
Randy Jackson's autograph.

594
00:36:41,830 --> 00:36:43,991
I would've done the exact same thing.

595
00:36:45,267 --> 00:36:48,100
Now, do you wanna see something really cool?

596
00:36:48,270 --> 00:36:50,397
- Of course.
- Turn off the lights.

597
00:36:52,674 --> 00:36:56,201
Industrial-strength night-vision goggles.

598
00:36:56,378 --> 00:36:58,039
Holy Santa Claus shit.

599
00:36:58,780 --> 00:37:01,271
Can you imagine if we had
these when we were twelve?

600
00:37:01,450 --> 00:37:03,714
Even better. We got
them when we're forty.

601
00:37:04,186 --> 00:37:08,350
You know what's amazing? They're
not that noticeable on your face.

602
00:37:08,523 --> 00:37:10,286
- Right?
- Yeah.

603
00:37:11,793 --> 00:37:14,921
I can't believe I've been
living here for two weeks...

604
00:37:15,097 --> 00:37:16,928
and I'm walking around this place...

605
00:37:17,099 --> 00:37:19,693
thinking I've got a huge
doucher for a stepbrother.

606
00:37:19,968 --> 00:37:22,198
Secretly, you're not a doucher.

607
00:37:22,738 --> 00:37:24,205
Let's play a game, all right?

608
00:37:24,573 --> 00:37:27,041
On the count of three,
name your favorite dinosaur.

609
00:37:27,209 --> 00:37:30,610
Don't even think about it, just
name it. Ready? One, two, three.

610
00:37:30,779 --> 00:37:32,269
- Velociraptor.
- Velociraptor.

611
00:37:32,814 --> 00:37:35,942
Favorite non-pornographic
magazine to masturbate to.

612
00:37:36,250 --> 00:37:38,446
- Good Housekeeping.
- Good Housekeeping.

613
00:37:38,887 --> 00:37:41,447
If you were a chick, who's
the one guy you'd sleep with?

614
00:37:41,757 --> 00:37:43,019
- John Stamos.
- John Stamos.

615
00:37:43,558 --> 00:37:45,492
- What?
- Did we just become best friends?

616
00:37:45,660 --> 00:37:47,093
Yep.

617
00:37:47,462 --> 00:37:49,327
Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?

618
00:37:49,498 --> 00:37:50,931
Yup!

619
00:38:10,452 --> 00:38:12,079
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

620
00:38:17,059 --> 00:38:19,186
I think they're starting to like each other.

621
00:38:19,694 --> 00:38:21,787
I got a really bad feeling about this.

622
00:38:23,432 --> 00:38:24,922
- Sword fight!
- I know.

623
00:38:25,300 --> 00:38:26,324
Sword fight!

624
00:38:30,472 --> 00:38:33,498
- Exactly the same!
- I know! That's so weird.

625
00:38:37,045 --> 00:38:38,205
Now you're in trouble.

626
00:38:40,382 --> 00:38:41,508
- Come on!
- No!

627
00:38:41,683 --> 00:38:43,981
They're betting against you,
but you can do it!

628
00:38:45,253 --> 00:38:46,618
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

629
00:38:48,356 --> 00:38:49,516
Is this a bad time?

630
00:38:49,690 --> 00:38:51,056
What the hell's going on?

631
00:38:51,226 --> 00:38:54,161
Ma, Mr. Doback, okay,
Dale and I were just...

632
00:38:54,329 --> 00:38:56,126
Please, stop calling me Mr. Doback.

633
00:38:56,298 --> 00:38:57,663
Sorry. Okay.

634
00:38:57,833 --> 00:39:00,427
Mom, Doback...

635
00:39:01,002 --> 00:39:03,334
we think it would be very prudent...

636
00:39:03,505 --> 00:39:05,973
- Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?
- Yes.

637
00:39:06,508 --> 00:39:07,975
Why are you guys so sweaty?

638
00:39:08,143 --> 00:39:11,044
We've already figured out how.
The beds match up perfectly.

639
00:39:11,213 --> 00:39:14,478
It would give us so much extra
space in our room to do activities.

640
00:39:14,649 --> 00:39:15,673
Please say yes.

641
00:39:15,850 --> 00:39:18,115
You don't need our permission to build bunk beds.

642
00:39:18,286 --> 00:39:20,516
You're adults. You can do what you want.

643
00:39:20,689 --> 00:39:22,748
So?

644
00:39:23,925 --> 00:39:26,223
I'm not making myself clear.

645
00:39:26,394 --> 00:39:28,919
I don't give a fuck.

646
00:39:29,264 --> 00:39:31,494
Now, you both have several interviews tomorrow.

647
00:39:31,666 --> 00:39:35,158
I would think you'd be focused
on that and not building bunk beds.

648
00:39:37,372 --> 00:39:39,932
- So?
- So?

649
00:39:40,108 --> 00:39:44,340
- We can? No?
- Yes. Yes, you can make bunk beds.

650
00:39:44,513 --> 00:39:46,777
- I knew it.
- Okay. You are not gonna regret this.

651
00:39:46,948 --> 00:39:48,745
We'll get so much more activities done.

652
00:39:48,917 --> 00:39:51,852
This is the funnest night ever!

653
00:39:53,088 --> 00:39:55,386
This is so scary.

654
00:39:57,259 --> 00:39:59,921
- How you doing over there?
- Really good.

655
00:40:00,328 --> 00:40:01,352
Okay.

656
00:40:01,596 --> 00:40:03,587
Does your son know anything about carpentry?

657
00:40:03,765 --> 00:40:06,325
No, not a th... Did I hear a drill?

658
00:40:06,902 --> 00:40:09,166
- Dale! Dale, no power tools!
- Power tools.

659
00:40:09,838 --> 00:40:11,499
- What?
- No power tools!

660
00:40:11,673 --> 00:40:15,336
- No, I forgot, I have to brush my teeth.
- That is not your toothbrush.

661
00:40:15,610 --> 00:40:18,010
Oh, okay. Well, I'm all done anyway.

662
00:40:18,180 --> 00:40:19,511
- We did it.
- We did it!

663
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:20,773
It looks amazing!

664
00:40:20,949 --> 00:40:24,009
Look at that! That looks like
what you'd buy from a store!

665
00:40:24,186 --> 00:40:26,848
- Should've been a bunk bed all along.
- Look at this space.

666
00:40:27,022 --> 00:40:29,923
- We could do aerobics in here.
- So many activities!

667
00:40:30,125 --> 00:40:32,116
- Do step class.
- It's making my head spin...

668
00:40:32,294 --> 00:40:34,558
how many activities we can do.
- Play Army men.

669
00:40:34,729 --> 00:40:36,026
- Yeah.
- Come on.

670
00:40:41,002 --> 00:40:43,470
Hey, I never asked you.
Do you like guacamole?

671
00:40:45,540 --> 00:40:47,906
Oh, Brennan! Oh, God!

672
00:40:48,076 --> 00:40:50,237
Brennan! Brennan!

673
00:40:50,812 --> 00:40:52,973
Dad. Nancy. It's bad.

674
00:40:53,180 --> 00:40:55,274
It's so bad. There's blood everywhere.

675
00:40:55,450 --> 00:40:59,045
The bunk beds were a terrible idea.
Why'd you let us do that?

676
00:40:59,220 --> 00:41:00,483
It's so bad!

677
00:41:00,655 --> 00:41:01,952
How would you describe that?

678
00:41:04,859 --> 00:41:07,657
- It's not so bad.
- Right. See?

679
00:41:09,464 --> 00:41:10,522
Put your beds back.

680
00:41:10,699 --> 00:41:12,826
Rumpus time is over.

681
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,095
You got a big day tomorrow.
You need your eight hours.

682
00:41:19,174 --> 00:41:22,869
<i>And although she was 88 years old,
she never stopped believing.</i>

683
00:41:23,044 --> 00:41:24,773
<i>It's 8:20 in the a.m.</i>

684
00:41:24,946 --> 00:41:27,779
<i>Coming up next, a recent study
by the American Council...</i>

685
00:41:27,949 --> 00:41:29,940
Look at her. She's hot.

686
00:41:30,385 --> 00:41:34,378
Okay, guys, this is it.
Good luck. Don't be late.

687
00:41:34,556 --> 00:41:37,150
Dad, I need to borrow some
clothes for the interview...

688
00:41:37,325 --> 00:41:39,156
since I don't have any fancy clothes.

689
00:41:39,327 --> 00:41:42,592
You go in my closet, take whatever
you need. You guys gotta look sharp.

690
00:41:42,764 --> 00:41:44,755
This is the most important day of our lives.

691
00:41:44,933 --> 00:41:46,400
- Okay.
- No pressure, no pressure.

692
00:41:46,568 --> 00:41:47,762
- All right? Relax.
- Okay.

693
00:41:47,936 --> 00:41:49,028
I gotta go. I gotta go.

694
00:41:49,204 --> 00:41:51,195
This is your day. Remember that. You own it.

695
00:41:51,373 --> 00:41:53,238
- This is your one day!
- All right.

696
00:41:54,709 --> 00:41:57,507
Mr. Huff, Mr. Jeener is ready for your interview.

697
00:41:57,679 --> 00:41:59,840
Actually, we'll be interviewing as a team.

698
00:42:00,015 --> 00:42:02,245
We're here to fuck shit up.

699
00:42:06,888 --> 00:42:08,515
Move it!

700
00:42:17,032 --> 00:42:18,397
Hey!

701
00:42:18,566 --> 00:42:21,057
Well, Brennan, you certainly
have had a lot of jobs.

702
00:42:21,236 --> 00:42:22,601
I'm a bit of a spark plug.

703
00:42:22,770 --> 00:42:25,262
And, Human Resources lady, when I think...

704
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,341
- You know, it's... Actually, it's Pam.
- I'm sorry.

705
00:42:28,510 --> 00:42:31,445
- Well, Pan...
- No, my name is Pam.

706
00:42:31,613 --> 00:42:35,709
- Are you saying Pan or Pam?
- I'm saying Pam.

707
00:42:36,250 --> 00:42:39,220
Yeah, I'm sorry, who is this
gentleman sitting behind you?

708
00:42:39,387 --> 00:42:42,322
Hello, Ms. Lady. I'm Dale.
I'm Brennan's stepbrother...

709
00:42:42,490 --> 00:42:45,948
and I think I might be able to
help with the Pan-Pam dilemma.

710
00:42:46,127 --> 00:42:48,061
- Yeah, that'd be great.
- Pam.

711
00:42:48,229 --> 00:42:49,856
- Pan.
- Pam.

712
00:42:50,030 --> 00:42:52,022
- Pand. There's a D on the end.
- With an M.

713
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:57,729
- There's no D. It's Pam.
- It's like "comb," except P-A-N-M.

714
00:42:57,906 --> 00:43:00,602
- N-N. There's two N's.
- Two M's. That was the confusion.

715
00:43:00,775 --> 00:43:02,106
No, there's just one M.

716
00:43:02,277 --> 00:43:04,302
What do you say we interview you?

717
00:43:04,779 --> 00:43:07,646
All right. Yes, that's a
sometimes-useful exercise.

718
00:43:07,816 --> 00:43:09,215
Please put your hand down.

719
00:43:09,550 --> 00:43:10,575
Go ahead.

720
00:43:10,752 --> 00:43:14,085
How much money do you
make a year before taxes?

721
00:43:14,656 --> 00:43:16,954
Okay, I'm actually not
comfortable answering that.

722
00:43:17,125 --> 00:43:19,719
- Come on!
- We're doing the interview, not you.

723
00:43:19,894 --> 00:43:23,660
Here's a shot out of a cannon:
Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife.

724
00:43:23,832 --> 00:43:26,062
You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!

725
00:43:26,234 --> 00:43:27,861
I think we're done here. Thank you.

726
00:43:28,036 --> 00:43:31,870
Mr. Huff, under your references,
you listed Dale Doback...

727
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:34,372
which I know is this gentleman,
but you also listed...

728
00:43:34,542 --> 00:43:36,567
- "Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior."
- Yeah.

729
00:43:36,745 --> 00:43:39,339
Yeah, we are looking for people we can contact.

730
00:43:39,514 --> 00:43:41,675
We wanna tell you the stuff we're not good at.

731
00:43:41,883 --> 00:43:44,477
- Our weaknesses.
- So we're clear up front.

732
00:43:44,652 --> 00:43:47,621
- Okay.
- We're not generally comfortable...

733
00:43:47,789 --> 00:43:50,849
- in an office setting, I would say.
- I get cooped up.

734
00:43:51,025 --> 00:43:54,017
I won't go into an office
that's ever been used before.

735
00:43:54,195 --> 00:43:56,789
I am no good before eleven a.m.

736
00:43:56,965 --> 00:44:00,162
I also get headaches from computers,
so I can't be around them too long.

737
00:44:00,368 --> 00:44:01,733
I take stuff.

738
00:44:01,903 --> 00:44:04,235
I need someone to go up and
down with me in the elevator.

739
00:44:04,406 --> 00:44:07,398
I have a weakness for sweets.

740
00:44:07,575 --> 00:44:08,599
Other weaknesses?

741
00:44:08,777 --> 00:44:11,905
We're slow learners and we're
not particularly good listeners.

742
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,811
- That'll be a huge problem.
- We're also slow learners.

743
00:44:15,984 --> 00:44:17,849
First of all, I needed someone to work...

744
00:44:18,019 --> 00:44:19,782
Wait, shut your mouth. Shut your mouth.

745
00:44:19,954 --> 00:44:21,251
I think we've had enough...

746
00:44:21,423 --> 00:44:23,448
- Shush up for one second.
- Shut your mouth.

747
00:44:23,858 --> 00:44:26,554
- Wait, shut your mouth.
- I'm sorry, what did you just say?

748
00:44:26,728 --> 00:44:29,253
- You're just coming off stupid.
- I'm coming off stupid?

749
00:44:29,430 --> 00:44:33,197
You're wearing tuxedos to a job that
requires you to clean bathrooms.

750
00:44:33,368 --> 00:44:37,099
- Please leave this office, we're done.
- Do we get any sort of souvenir?

751
00:44:37,272 --> 00:44:38,864
Get out of my office!

752
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:42,771
I'm looking to hire guys I don't mind
hanging out with for twelve hours a day.

753
00:44:42,944 --> 00:44:44,411
You guys seem like cool guys.

754
00:44:44,579 --> 00:44:47,548
Got hair similar to mine,
you wear tuxedos to the interview.

755
00:44:47,715 --> 00:44:49,580
That's funny, it's ironic. I get that.

756
00:44:49,750 --> 00:44:53,380
Underplaying the whole formality of it.
I think that's funny as hell.

757
00:44:53,555 --> 00:44:56,422
So let's do this, you know?
You guys are hired. You're in.

758
00:44:56,590 --> 00:44:59,287
Unless you're the weirdest guys ever
and I don't see it.

759
00:44:59,460 --> 00:45:00,951
Great.

760
00:45:18,246 --> 00:45:20,976
- Was that a fart?
- I don't know.

761
00:45:21,149 --> 00:45:23,014
I can taste it.

762
00:45:23,250 --> 00:45:24,309
On my tongue.

763
00:45:24,486 --> 00:45:26,920
Okay, I'll be honest with you. I did fart.

764
00:45:27,288 --> 00:45:30,121
Is that onion? Onion and...
Onion and ketchup.

765
00:45:30,290 --> 00:45:34,091
- It stinks. And this is a small room.
- Shit.

766
00:45:34,262 --> 00:45:36,628
Okay, now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up.

767
00:45:37,932 --> 00:45:41,561
God. We were so close.

768
00:45:41,970 --> 00:45:45,030
So, what do we do for jobs?
Is your dad really gonna kick us out?

769
00:45:45,206 --> 00:45:49,336
Listen, don't worry about my dad.

770
00:45:49,677 --> 00:45:52,168
Got him sewn up.

771
00:45:52,614 --> 00:45:55,515
We've gotta start thinking
bigger, though, Brennan.

772
00:45:56,384 --> 00:45:58,784
Listen, what are you really good at?

773
00:45:58,953 --> 00:46:01,615
Singing. I'm a world-class singer.

774
00:46:01,789 --> 00:46:04,519
See? Right there, that's an amazing skill.

775
00:46:04,692 --> 00:46:06,125
Now, what am I good at?

776
00:46:06,294 --> 00:46:09,127
I can shred on the drums
and I'm a marketing wiz.

777
00:46:09,297 --> 00:46:11,128
Put all that together, what do you get?

778
00:46:12,634 --> 00:46:15,626
- I don't know, a band?
- No, that's been done before.

779
00:46:15,803 --> 00:46:20,968
Even better: we are gonna start an
international entertainment company.

780
00:46:21,142 --> 00:46:23,337
The biggest and the best.

781
00:46:23,810 --> 00:46:26,837
And we're gonna call it Prestige Worldwide.

782
00:46:27,382 --> 00:46:28,815
That sounds so cool.

783
00:46:29,183 --> 00:46:33,244
I feel like a lightning bolt
hit the tip of my penis.

784
00:46:33,420 --> 00:46:35,855
Yeah. Yeah.

785
00:46:36,257 --> 00:46:39,021
We're brothers. This is why we met.

786
00:46:39,193 --> 00:46:41,184
- To form this alliance, right?
- Right?

787
00:46:41,362 --> 00:46:43,853
That's why our parents met,
so this idea could happen.

788
00:46:44,032 --> 00:46:46,830
- Okay, what do we do?
- We get to work.

789
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:50,334
And we hit the beat laboratory
right now. Let's go.

790
00:46:50,505 --> 00:46:52,063
- What?
- Wait.

791
00:46:52,240 --> 00:46:53,730
What time is it?

792
00:46:53,908 --> 00:46:55,398
- 4:30.
- 4:30.

793
00:46:55,577 --> 00:46:57,477
4:32.

794
00:46:59,747 --> 00:47:03,444
- I can't go down Whitworth right now.
- Okay.

795
00:47:04,185 --> 00:47:05,516
We should go this way.

796
00:47:06,820 --> 00:47:08,812
- What's up?
- Chris Gardocki.

797
00:47:08,990 --> 00:47:10,287
- What?
- He gets in my face...

798
00:47:10,458 --> 00:47:12,790
and I just don't wanna
deal with the hassle now.

799
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,759
- Are you this scared?
- Can we please go the long way?

800
00:47:17,465 --> 00:47:19,023
- Down Cutler?
- Yeah.

801
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:20,963
But that's forty-five minutes.

802
00:47:21,135 --> 00:47:22,898
You're gonna shame me into doing this.

803
00:47:23,070 --> 00:47:25,539
- You sound stupid.
- You'll be sorry. Okay, I'm stupid.

804
00:47:25,707 --> 00:47:27,834
Oh, man.

805
00:47:28,576 --> 00:47:31,272
Oh, God, there they are.

806
00:47:32,647 --> 00:47:34,706
Oh, my God, is that Dale Doback?

807
00:47:34,882 --> 00:47:37,442
- Let's make him lick dog shit.
- Yeah.

808
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:42,453
Hey, fag-stick. Long time, no see.

809
00:47:42,624 --> 00:47:45,252
Is that your boyfriend?
Is that your butt buddy?

810
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,824
Look, Mr. Gardocki, just
leave me alone, will you?

811
00:47:47,996 --> 00:47:49,793
Shut your mouth, es�.

812
00:47:49,964 --> 00:47:53,127
You guys just go back and have
fun on your jungle gym, okay?

813
00:47:53,300 --> 00:47:55,496
Does butt buddy have a name?

814
00:47:55,670 --> 00:47:59,572
If you're referring to me as
butt buddy, yes, I do have a name.

815
00:47:59,740 --> 00:48:01,072
It's Brennan Huff.

816
00:48:01,242 --> 00:48:04,405
If you don't come over here
and lick that white dog shit...

817
00:48:04,579 --> 00:48:06,809
l'm gonna plow into your nose with my fist.

818
00:48:06,980 --> 00:48:10,849
- I'm not licking any white dog shit.
- I'll lick the shit if you leave us alone.

819
00:48:11,019 --> 00:48:14,182
Dale, you're not licking
dog shit, okay? They're kids.

820
00:48:14,355 --> 00:48:16,619
- Brennan, it's just dog shit.
- It's ridiculous!

821
00:48:16,790 --> 00:48:20,750
- Hello, how are...?
- Oh, God!

822
00:48:21,095 --> 00:48:23,689
Leave him alone! Leave him alone!

823
00:48:25,333 --> 00:48:26,857
Get them!

824
00:48:38,980 --> 00:48:42,177
So maybe you don't go
down that way anymore.

825
00:48:42,350 --> 00:48:44,215
Maybe you go the long way home.

826
00:48:44,385 --> 00:48:47,286
That's what we talked about.
We're gonna take the long way home.

827
00:48:47,455 --> 00:48:50,219
You know in that one scene
in The Wizard of Oz...

828
00:48:50,390 --> 00:48:53,224
when the flying monkeys
pull apart the Scarecrow?

829
00:48:53,394 --> 00:48:55,419
That's what it was like.

830
00:48:55,596 --> 00:48:58,087
- It's okay, it's okay.
- I'm so sorry.

831
00:48:58,266 --> 00:49:00,894
Is my dad mad about the stuff that happened?

832
00:49:01,069 --> 00:49:03,663
Robert was very upset, yes.

833
00:49:03,838 --> 00:49:06,534
He knows that you interviewed as a team.

834
00:49:06,708 --> 00:49:08,232
And he heard about the fart.

835
00:49:08,409 --> 00:49:10,343
- Oh, he did?
- Yeah.

836
00:49:10,510 --> 00:49:12,240
You just couldn't hold it, or you...?

837
00:49:12,413 --> 00:49:15,348
- No. I thought it was gonna be silent.
- It was not silent.

838
00:49:15,516 --> 00:49:18,178
Just kept going, and it made
a sound. It was embarrassing.

839
00:49:18,352 --> 00:49:19,376
It got louder.

840
00:49:19,554 --> 00:49:22,421
So listen, Bobby, I'll get
those keys made tomorrow...

841
00:49:22,590 --> 00:49:26,082
- and then we'll start setting up times.
- Thank you.

842
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:28,794
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi.

843
00:49:28,963 --> 00:49:30,157
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.

844
00:49:30,330 --> 00:49:32,561
- Always nice to see you.
- You too.

845
00:49:42,110 --> 00:49:43,270
Hey, guys.

846
00:49:43,444 --> 00:49:45,537
Looks like your free ride's over, huh?

847
00:49:45,713 --> 00:49:47,510
Have fun living on the streets.

848
00:49:48,116 --> 00:49:50,607
Okay, cool. Good chatting,
you guys. Bye, Mom.

849
00:49:50,785 --> 00:49:52,013
- Bye.
- See you, buddy.

850
00:49:56,090 --> 00:49:57,489
What was he doing here?

851
00:49:57,759 --> 00:49:59,488
We're putting the house on the market.

852
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:03,197
- Where are we moving?
- Is the house haunted?

853
00:50:03,464 --> 00:50:06,024
Nancy and I are retiring...

854
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,964
and sailing around the world on my boat.

855
00:50:09,137 --> 00:50:11,435
We are living the dream.

856
00:50:11,606 --> 00:50:12,903
Well, what about us?

857
00:50:14,942 --> 00:50:19,311
I'm sorry. Robert... We thought that...

858
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:23,280
you should take responsibility
for your own lives.

859
00:50:23,450 --> 00:50:24,645
This is the exciting part:

860
00:50:24,819 --> 00:50:27,151
We're going to put enough
money in your accounts...

861
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:29,289
for a security deposit on an apartment.

862
00:50:29,457 --> 00:50:30,754
What's this all about?

863
00:50:30,925 --> 00:50:35,385
More than just money, we're gonna get
you another kind of support as well.

864
00:50:35,563 --> 00:50:38,396
You're both gonna see therapists.
Nancy thinks it'll help.

865
00:50:38,566 --> 00:50:42,332
- Guys, that's nonnegotiable.
- Hold on. We're not going on the boat...

866
00:50:42,737 --> 00:50:45,831
Derek's selling the house,
we have to go to therapy?

867
00:50:47,074 --> 00:50:48,974
- What the fuck happened?
- Hey!

868
00:50:49,143 --> 00:50:52,237
Look, I know this seems
really, really sudden...

869
00:50:52,413 --> 00:50:54,745
and just sort of unfair
and cruel and...

870
00:50:54,916 --> 00:50:58,010
- But it's nonnegotiable.
- But it's nonnegotiable.

871
00:50:58,186 --> 00:51:00,620
I got a bellyful of white dog crap in me...

872
00:51:00,788 --> 00:51:02,688
and now you lay this shit on me?

873
00:51:02,857 --> 00:51:05,826
You're adults. It's time
you started acting like adults.

874
00:51:06,093 --> 00:51:09,028
- Mom.
- I'm not backing down, Brennan.

875
00:51:09,297 --> 00:51:10,628
Don't even try.

876
00:51:10,798 --> 00:51:13,858
I know it seems hard, but it's
the best thing for both of you.

877
00:51:14,035 --> 00:51:15,662
We do it because we love you.

878
00:51:15,837 --> 00:51:19,534
Dad, I'm doing this because
I love you: fuck you.

879
00:51:19,707 --> 00:51:21,698
- Anything else?
- No.

880
00:51:21,876 --> 00:51:24,276
Bon voyage! Have a great time!

881
00:51:25,279 --> 00:51:27,213
Hey, what's up, Derek?

882
00:51:27,380 --> 00:51:28,405
Yeah.

883
00:51:28,583 --> 00:51:29,880
- Know what?
- Look what I got.

884
00:51:30,050 --> 00:51:33,316
I'm sitting here thinking we
finally got a family together here...

885
00:51:33,487 --> 00:51:36,979
and now it's about to be taken away
because they think we're losers.

886
00:51:37,859 --> 00:51:41,351
- Because they don't understand us?
- Yeah.

887
00:51:41,529 --> 00:51:45,021
They don't get that this
lifestyle is a choice.

888
00:51:45,199 --> 00:51:48,327
And all they think about
is that stupid boat.

889
00:51:48,636 --> 00:51:51,867
I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom.

890
00:51:52,039 --> 00:51:55,531
As soon as she is of age,
I'm putting her in a home.

891
00:51:55,810 --> 00:51:58,438
We have got to get Prestige Worldwide going.

892
00:51:58,613 --> 00:52:00,638
It's the thing that's gonna save this family.

893
00:52:00,815 --> 00:52:03,648
I was thinking we should
have a investor presentation...

894
00:52:03,818 --> 00:52:05,080
<i>...like on The Apprentice.</i>

895
00:52:05,253 --> 00:52:07,414
We gotta start with some capital somewhere.

896
00:52:07,588 --> 00:52:09,488
Here's the thing, though:

897
00:52:09,657 --> 00:52:12,854
If we're gonna start a
huge multinational corporation...

898
00:52:13,027 --> 00:52:14,551
I have to hear you sing.

899
00:52:14,729 --> 00:52:17,425
Can't you just trust that
I'm a really, really good singer?

900
00:52:17,832 --> 00:52:21,233
Just one song, so I know
what your voice sounds like.

901
00:52:21,569 --> 00:52:23,503
Yeah, yeah. I'll just do it.

902
00:52:23,670 --> 00:52:27,835
No big deal. I'll just dive
into it and just start singing.

903
00:52:31,579 --> 00:52:34,946
Jesus, my heart is
beating so fast right now.

904
00:52:35,716 --> 00:52:37,843
Okay, just do it. Just do it.

905
00:52:38,019 --> 00:52:39,077
Just...

906
00:53:28,569 --> 00:53:29,627
You know, I don't know.

907
00:53:29,804 --> 00:53:33,069
I didn't sing too loud, because I
don't wanna wake up Robert and Nancy.

908
00:53:33,240 --> 00:53:36,676
My throat's sore. I've had a
sore throat for a month and a half.

909
00:53:36,944 --> 00:53:39,674
And this is not an acoustic
environment that's suitable...

910
00:53:39,847 --> 00:53:41,906
to request this from me.

911
00:53:42,083 --> 00:53:45,348
You gotta know, I'm not just some guy.

912
00:53:45,519 --> 00:53:49,011
Brennan, that is the voice of an angel.

913
00:53:50,690 --> 00:53:53,421
Brennan, I can't even make
eye contact with you right now.

914
00:53:53,594 --> 00:53:56,358
Your voice is like a
combination of Fergie and Jesus.

915
00:53:56,530 --> 00:53:58,395
Why can't you do that
in front of people?

916
00:53:58,566 --> 00:54:00,397
Are you messing with me right now?

917
00:54:00,835 --> 00:54:03,497
It's me, Dale.

918
00:54:04,772 --> 00:54:05,796
You're good.

919
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:08,840
- I know.
- This is gonna sound weird...

920
00:54:09,010 --> 00:54:14,107
but for a second, I think
you took on the shape of a unicorn.

921
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:18,115
I felt like I was hovering
above my own body...

922
00:54:18,285 --> 00:54:19,877
watching myself sing.

923
00:54:20,054 --> 00:54:21,817
Now, let's move on to other business.

924
00:54:21,989 --> 00:54:25,481
First thing tomorrow, we gotta get
cracking on this investor presentation.

925
00:54:25,659 --> 00:54:28,594
And guess what else. This just came to me.

926
00:54:28,763 --> 00:54:32,199
- We're making a music video.
- Yeah!

927
00:54:33,334 --> 00:54:35,199
What do we do about Derek and the house?

928
00:54:37,038 --> 00:54:38,972
Don't worry about him.

929
00:54:49,717 --> 00:54:50,945
Oh, it's a great "nabe."

930
00:54:51,118 --> 00:54:53,018
Frank Gifford used to live down the block.

931
00:54:53,187 --> 00:54:56,315
- The Giff?
- Yeah, the Giff. Right down the block.

932
00:54:56,490 --> 00:54:59,050
I'm getting a really good feeling about this.

933
00:54:59,226 --> 00:55:00,250
I am so glad.

934
00:55:00,428 --> 00:55:03,090
You get us that ten year
interest-only loan, we got a deal.

935
00:55:03,264 --> 00:55:06,256
Hey, fuckers! Welcome to the neighborhood!

936
00:55:06,434 --> 00:55:10,234
- My name is Craig.
- The neighbor is a Nazi?

937
00:55:10,404 --> 00:55:14,272
You guys ever need fertilizer, I've
got a lot of it. Close to eighty tons.

938
00:55:14,442 --> 00:55:18,344
Hey, folks! How you doing?
You're gonna love this neighborhood.

939
00:55:18,512 --> 00:55:20,173
Every single house here recycles.

940
00:55:20,347 --> 00:55:22,281
- Okay, we're done here.
- Yeah, okay.

941
00:55:22,450 --> 00:55:25,419
Hey, Derek, sprechen sie dick.

942
00:55:25,753 --> 00:55:28,187
Dale, I don't know how much
you know about therapy...

943
00:55:28,355 --> 00:55:31,552
but it usually starts by you
telling me something about yourself.

944
00:55:32,093 --> 00:55:34,152
I work at a college as a janitor...

945
00:55:34,328 --> 00:55:36,956
even though I'm smarter
than most of the people there.

946
00:55:37,130 --> 00:55:40,032
Sometimes I see an equation
written on a blackboard...

947
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:43,193
like half an equation,
and I'll just figure it out.

948
00:55:43,370 --> 00:55:45,702
- Is this Good Will Hunting?
- No.

949
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,873
It sounds a lot like the
plot of Good Will Hunting.

950
00:55:49,043 --> 00:55:52,774
Yeah. Anyway. My best friend is Ben Affleck...

951
00:55:52,947 --> 00:55:56,041
So I thought we'd begin
talking about your parents' divorce.

952
00:55:56,350 --> 00:55:57,374
Okay.

953
00:55:57,550 --> 00:55:59,576
How old were you when they got divorced?

954
00:55:59,753 --> 00:56:01,880
- Fifteen.
- That's a hard age.

955
00:56:02,156 --> 00:56:04,989
- Yes. Yeah.
- Do you wanna talk...

956
00:56:05,159 --> 00:56:07,286
- about some of those feelings?
- I love you.

957
00:56:07,460 --> 00:56:10,897
- Obviously, you don't know me.
- I love you so much.

958
00:56:11,065 --> 00:56:14,466
Thank you. And I will take that
as a feeling that you have...

959
00:56:14,635 --> 00:56:17,001
of comfortability with me.

960
00:56:17,170 --> 00:56:18,832
It's more than comfortability.

961
00:56:19,006 --> 00:56:22,203
- I mean, I fucking love you.
- Okay. I th...

962
00:56:22,376 --> 00:56:24,276
I'm just thinking about our life together.

963
00:56:24,845 --> 00:56:26,813
I feel like I'm walking on a cloud.

964
00:56:26,980 --> 00:56:29,108
My penis is tingling right now.

965
00:56:29,383 --> 00:56:32,978
- That is so off-putting.
- You're not feeling this?

966
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:37,086
In no way, shape or form do I feel
any feelings of intimacy towards you...

967
00:56:37,258 --> 00:56:39,249
in any way whatsoever.

968
00:56:39,426 --> 00:56:41,257
You got a really dope front lawn here.

969
00:56:41,428 --> 00:56:43,362
You and your homeboys can play on that.

970
00:56:43,530 --> 00:56:45,499
- You can just say "It looks good."
- Yeah.

971
00:56:45,666 --> 00:56:46,690
No, that's how I talk.

972
00:56:46,867 --> 00:56:50,200
Oh, you got a really fresh
entryway here. Pretty awesome.

973
00:56:50,370 --> 00:56:53,033
...show you the front of
the house, which is actual...

974
00:56:53,207 --> 00:56:57,268
Will you vultures please give us some
privacy? He just died last night.

975
00:56:57,444 --> 00:56:58,968
What is going on here?

976
00:56:59,146 --> 00:57:01,444
It was the asbestos in here,
that's what did it!

977
00:57:01,615 --> 00:57:03,082
I've seen too many dead bodies.

978
00:57:03,250 --> 00:57:05,650
- I can't be in here. I can't.
- No, no, no.

979
00:57:08,556 --> 00:57:11,582
- Not bad.
- Eat shit, Derek.

980
00:57:11,959 --> 00:57:15,395
- Awesome B-day party, broheisens.
- You the man, Derek.

981
00:57:15,563 --> 00:57:17,929
Okay, who's this from? TJ?

982
00:57:18,098 --> 00:57:20,066
Where are the rest of my gifts, dude?

983
00:57:20,234 --> 00:57:22,065
Totally joking around, TJ.

984
00:57:22,236 --> 00:57:23,498
All right.

985
00:57:23,670 --> 00:57:28,040
Oh, yes! Yes! Callaway 3-wood.

986
00:57:28,209 --> 00:57:29,471
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

987
00:57:30,377 --> 00:57:31,401
Yeah.

988
00:57:31,845 --> 00:57:34,143
- Bomb it down the fairway, bitches!
- That's right.

989
00:57:36,950 --> 00:57:39,419
Hi, my name is Jim.
Wanna suck my dick for money?

990
00:57:39,987 --> 00:57:42,217
- It's just me. Hi.
- Oh, my God.

991
00:57:42,389 --> 00:57:44,687
What are you doing?
This is the men's bathroom.

992
00:57:44,858 --> 00:57:46,689
Happy anniversary.

993
00:57:46,860 --> 00:57:49,192
- It's our second date.
- What?

994
00:57:49,363 --> 00:57:53,299
Listen, I'm sick of being
all coy and bashful, Dale. Okay?

995
00:57:53,467 --> 00:57:56,334
- We're in the bathroom.
- This'll just take a minute.

996
00:57:56,503 --> 00:57:59,768
There's really little you can
do about it. Let me just hop on.

997
00:58:01,342 --> 00:58:03,310
It's all slippery.

998
00:58:04,278 --> 00:58:05,302
Oh, my God!

999
00:58:10,784 --> 00:58:13,514
It's getting tingly.
Something's gonna happen, Alice!

1000
00:58:21,895 --> 00:58:23,829
Oh, we just had sex.

1001
00:58:23,998 --> 00:58:27,365
- Just the way I imagined it.
- I like you.

1002
00:58:28,402 --> 00:58:29,562
I love you.

1003
00:58:29,737 --> 00:58:31,898
- Stay golden, Ponyboy. I gotta pee.
- Okay.

1004
00:58:33,907 --> 00:58:36,034
Oh, my God.

1005
00:58:36,277 --> 00:58:38,302
You're incredible.

1006
00:58:38,479 --> 00:58:40,879
Say hello to my little friend.

1007
00:58:43,017 --> 00:58:45,451
- Just kidding. It's from Scarface.
- Scarface.

1008
00:58:47,420 --> 00:58:48,786
Shut the fuck up!

1009
00:58:49,590 --> 00:58:51,649
- Sweet-ass gift, Teej.
- Yeah, not bad.

1010
00:58:52,092 --> 00:58:53,559
- I got it all mapped out.
- Okay.

1011
00:58:53,727 --> 00:58:57,060
- I'm following your lead, though.
- I'll get all eyes on us.

1012
00:58:57,230 --> 00:58:58,596
- Okay.
- Just like we planned.

1013
00:58:58,766 --> 00:59:00,859
And then we'll drop the hammer.

1014
00:59:01,068 --> 00:59:04,936
What were Dale and Brennan doing
with my video camera, do you know?

1015
00:59:05,105 --> 00:59:07,767
I have no idea. And frankly,
I really don't care. So...

1016
00:59:08,809 --> 00:59:10,333
I would like to say a few things.

1017
00:59:10,510 --> 00:59:13,776
Derek, you are an
outstanding young man, son.

1018
00:59:13,947 --> 00:59:16,472
And I would like say that
this is the image I have:

1019
00:59:16,650 --> 00:59:19,847
That sometimes when I'm making love
to your mother and I realize that...

1020
00:59:20,020 --> 00:59:22,454
this is where you came
from, that I'm so moved...

1021
00:59:22,623 --> 00:59:25,854
that I talked to my lawyer,
and not only are you going to be...

1022
00:59:26,026 --> 00:59:29,086
in my heart forever, but you're
going to be in my will, young man.

1023
00:59:29,263 --> 00:59:30,821
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay?

1024
00:59:31,098 --> 00:59:33,225
- Robert, that was fucking awesome.
- Thank you.

1025
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:36,164
You got a lot of this, buddy.
And you got a lot of these.

1026
00:59:36,370 --> 00:59:37,598
Thank you.

1027
00:59:37,770 --> 00:59:40,171
Everyone, if I could have
your attention, please.

1028
00:59:41,175 --> 00:59:42,665
For those of you who don't know me...

1029
00:59:42,843 --> 00:59:44,276
- my name's Dale Doback.
- Check. Check.

1030
00:59:44,445 --> 00:59:47,278
I'm Robert's other son, the biological one.

1031
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:49,346
Check. Check.

1032
00:59:49,516 --> 00:59:52,212
Probably wondering why we
gathered you here tonight...

1033
00:59:52,386 --> 00:59:54,183
besides Derek's birthday.

1034
00:59:54,755 --> 00:59:57,747
We got a special surprise for you,
Derek, and everybody here...

1035
00:59:57,925 --> 00:59:59,017
- Check, check.
- Check.

1036
00:59:59,193 --> 01:00:01,161
- Dale. No, please.
- Don't interrupt them.

1037
01:00:01,328 --> 01:00:03,319
- I'm begging you.
- You wanna shut this down?

1038
01:00:03,497 --> 01:00:05,465
- Just hold on.
- Derek, for your birthday...

1039
01:00:05,632 --> 01:00:07,031
we thought we'd roll out...

1040
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:09,396
a once-in-a-lifetime business opportunity.

1041
01:00:09,570 --> 01:00:10,696
Happy birthday, Derek.

1042
01:00:11,238 --> 01:00:12,500
Music.

1043
01:00:16,043 --> 01:00:21,174
Prestige Worldwide...
wide... wide... wide...

1044
01:00:21,348 --> 01:00:23,612
Prestige Worldwide.

1045
01:00:23,784 --> 01:00:26,582
- The first word in entertainment.
- First word.

1046
01:00:26,887 --> 01:00:28,821
- Management.
- Financial portfolios.

1047
01:00:28,989 --> 01:00:30,786
- Insurance.
- Computers.

1048
01:00:30,958 --> 01:00:34,291
- Black leather gloves.
- Research and development.

1049
01:00:34,528 --> 01:00:37,429
Putting in the manhours to study
the science of what you need.

1050
01:00:37,598 --> 01:00:40,590
Last week we put Liquid Paper on a bee...

1051
01:00:40,768 --> 01:00:42,065
and it died.

1052
01:00:42,236 --> 01:00:43,601
- Security.
- Security.

1053
01:00:43,770 --> 01:00:45,033
- And...
- And.

1054
01:00:47,508 --> 01:00:48,941
- Possibly you.
- Possibly you.

1055
01:00:49,209 --> 01:00:52,235
- Oh, this is classic. This is...
- We'd like to present...

1056
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:56,675
the world premiere of Prestige
Worldwide's first music video...

1057
01:00:56,850 --> 01:01:01,014
by our first act, Huff and Doback.

1058
01:01:01,188 --> 01:01:04,157
- Roll it.
- Roll it.

1059
01:01:04,690 --> 01:01:08,457
Pay close attention, Dad.
It's gonna look familiar.

1060
01:01:08,629 --> 01:01:11,564
- This is... This is perfect.
- Is that my boat?

1061
01:01:11,732 --> 01:01:13,996
Yes, it is.

1062
01:01:14,368 --> 01:01:15,767
What are you doing on my boat?

1063
01:01:15,936 --> 01:01:18,427
<i>The Ni�a, the Pinta,
The Santa Mar�a</i>

1064
01:01:18,605 --> 01:01:21,130
<i>I'll do you in the bottom
While you're drinking sangria</i>

1065
01:01:21,308 --> 01:01:23,742
<i>Nachos and Lemonheads
On my dad's boat</i>

1066
01:01:23,910 --> 01:01:25,936
<i>You won't go down
'Cause my dick can float</i>

1067
01:01:26,113 --> 01:01:28,673
<i>We sail around the world
And go port to port</i>

1068
01:01:28,849 --> 01:01:31,443
<i>Every time I come
I produce a quart</i>

1069
01:01:31,618 --> 01:01:33,916
That is offensive. Brennan, Dale.

1070
01:01:34,087 --> 01:01:36,521
<i>I gotta have me my boats and ho's</i>

1071
01:01:36,690 --> 01:01:38,851
<i>Deadliest Catch without the crabs</i>

1072
01:01:39,026 --> 01:01:41,654
<i>We're almost out of gas
Call the Arabs</i>

1073
01:01:41,829 --> 01:01:44,093
<i>Pull up the anchor
'Cause we're leaving dry land</i>

1074
01:01:44,264 --> 01:01:46,755
<i>Get below deck
With a dick in your hand</i>

1075
01:01:46,934 --> 01:01:49,164
<i>Boats and ho's
Boats and ho's</i>

1076
01:01:49,336 --> 01:01:52,134
<i>I gotta have me my boats and ho's</i>

1077
01:01:52,306 --> 01:01:54,501
<i>Are you ready for some
world-class vocalization?</i>

1078
01:01:54,675 --> 01:01:56,336
- Get a partner.
- Wait a minute.

1079
01:01:56,510 --> 01:01:59,138
- Who's steering the boat?
- Dad, please shut up.

1080
01:01:59,313 --> 01:02:00,541
Please shut up!

1081
01:02:10,324 --> 01:02:12,121
Yeah!

1082
01:02:17,764 --> 01:02:19,197
So...

1083
01:02:19,366 --> 01:02:21,630
big question is:

1084
01:02:22,202 --> 01:02:25,660
Aside from the damage to
the boat, which we will fix...

1085
01:02:26,740 --> 01:02:28,571
what'd you think of the presentation?

1086
01:02:28,742 --> 01:02:34,840
Brennan, I think that what you
did to Robert's boat was horrid.

1087
01:02:35,015 --> 01:02:37,347
Having said that, I think
that both of you boys...

1088
01:02:37,518 --> 01:02:40,976
showed a lot of enthusiasm and inventiveness.

1089
01:02:41,154 --> 01:02:43,213
Yes. Thank you.

1090
01:02:43,524 --> 01:02:45,515
You gotta be kidding me.

1091
01:02:46,393 --> 01:02:49,021
They destroyed our dream
and you're calling it inventive.

1092
01:02:49,196 --> 01:02:51,790
- No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that.
- Yes, you did.

1093
01:02:51,965 --> 01:02:53,193
Come on, you did.

1094
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:56,933
It's gonna be four years, at least,
before we can sail anywhere.

1095
01:02:57,104 --> 01:03:00,505
- And you could care less, admit it.
- I will not admit that...

1096
01:03:00,674 --> 01:03:03,074
- because it is not true.
- Oh, yeah.

1097
01:03:03,243 --> 01:03:06,303
But, you know, I do think that you could show...

1098
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:10,541
a little bit more attentiveness
to your son and your stepson...

1099
01:03:10,717 --> 01:03:12,378
who obviously need you.

1100
01:03:12,553 --> 01:03:13,815
It's true, Dr. Doback.

1101
01:03:13,987 --> 01:03:16,854
You've been very cold and
unsupportive of our dreams.

1102
01:03:17,024 --> 01:03:18,821
You wrecked my fucking boat, you goon!

1103
01:03:18,992 --> 01:03:21,051
Don't speak to my son like that.

1104
01:03:21,228 --> 01:03:23,753
Your son's costing me eighty thousand dollars!

1105
01:03:23,930 --> 01:03:27,162
We could bicker about this all night,
but what's done is done, Dad.

1106
01:03:27,334 --> 01:03:30,167
- Are you guys gonna invest or not?
- That's it! That's it!

1107
01:03:30,337 --> 01:03:32,100
- What are you doing?
- Grab the wheel!

1108
01:03:32,940 --> 01:03:34,703
I can't believe you're being so stingy.

1109
01:03:34,875 --> 01:03:37,366
- Robert, come down.
- It's a simple business decision.

1110
01:03:37,544 --> 01:03:39,205
You jackaloons!

1111
01:03:39,379 --> 01:03:42,815
You're failures! Failures!

1112
01:03:42,983 --> 01:03:45,850
And you're embarrassing
yourself, you geriatric fuck!

1113
01:03:46,019 --> 01:03:47,452
- Brennan.
- Two things:

1114
01:03:47,620 --> 01:03:50,419
You keep your liver-spotted
hands off my beautiful mother.

1115
01:03:50,590 --> 01:03:51,649
She's a saint!

1116
01:03:51,825 --> 01:03:55,386
Then you sit down and you write Dale and
Brennan a check for ten thousand dollars.

1117
01:03:55,562 --> 01:03:56,586
Oh, stop it.

1118
01:03:56,763 --> 01:04:00,631
Or I'm gonna shove one of those fake
hearing devices so far up your ass...

1119
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:02,564
- Brennan!
- you can hear the sound...

1120
01:04:02,736 --> 01:04:05,569
of your small intestine as it produces shit!

1121
01:04:06,340 --> 01:04:08,001
- All right, here we go.
- Oh, my Lord.

1122
01:04:08,175 --> 01:04:11,235
Somebody should've done this
a long time ago, and I'm gonna do it.

1123
01:04:11,410 --> 01:04:12,878
- What are you doing?
- Robert.

1124
01:04:13,046 --> 01:04:14,877
There are consequences for your actions.

1125
01:04:15,048 --> 01:04:17,744
- No! Robert!
- Dad!

1126
01:04:17,918 --> 01:04:20,011
- This is not the answer.
- You're next, mister.

1127
01:04:20,187 --> 01:04:21,313
- You understand me?
- Yes.

1128
01:04:21,488 --> 01:04:24,548
- Certain behaviors...
- Let go of me.

1129
01:04:24,790 --> 01:04:27,851
- will not be tolerated!
- My ass is on fire!

1130
01:04:38,105 --> 01:04:42,667
Wow, the tree looks great,
Nancy. Really tasteful.

1131
01:04:42,843 --> 01:04:46,370
Thank you, Dale. That's a very
nice sweater you're wearing.

1132
01:04:46,780 --> 01:04:50,147
It was my mom's.
I took the shoulder pads out.

1133
01:04:50,317 --> 01:04:52,217
Oh, and, Brennan? Denise called...

1134
01:04:52,386 --> 01:04:54,946
and she said she can't go out
with you on New Year's Eve...

1135
01:04:55,122 --> 01:04:57,989
because she's not your
girlfriend, she's your therapist.

1136
01:04:58,158 --> 01:04:59,489
- Is that what she said?
- Yeah.

1137
01:04:59,660 --> 01:05:00,718
She's a rascal.

1138
01:05:01,294 --> 01:05:03,228
Hey, Dad, Nancy?

1139
01:05:03,397 --> 01:05:08,460
Would it be cool if Brennan and
I opened just one present each...

1140
01:05:08,635 --> 01:05:10,796
since it's Christmas Eve?

1141
01:05:10,970 --> 01:05:13,838
I'm gonna go down to the
Cheesecake Factory, have a drink.

1142
01:05:16,510 --> 01:05:19,604
But it's Christmas Eve.

1143
01:05:19,780 --> 01:05:21,543
Oh, merry Christmas.

1144
01:05:22,315 --> 01:05:24,146
- Yes.
- Yeah.

1145
01:05:24,317 --> 01:05:26,512
I had my eye on one.

1146
01:05:26,953 --> 01:05:28,853
I hope it's what I think it is.

1147
01:05:29,022 --> 01:05:31,217
Oh, my God. Hulk Hands!

1148
01:05:31,390 --> 01:05:32,881
Wait, Dale got Hulk Hands?

1149
01:05:38,065 --> 01:05:41,432
Well, you reek of Scotch and cheesecake.

1150
01:05:42,402 --> 01:05:43,892
You know...

1151
01:05:44,705 --> 01:05:49,472
tonight at the Cheesecake Factory
was the happiest I've been in months.

1152
01:05:49,876 --> 01:05:53,277
- Well, then I feel very sorry for you.
- Well, just...

1153
01:05:53,447 --> 01:05:57,383
Nancy, I don't know if I can ever
forgive them for wrecking my boat.

1154
01:05:57,550 --> 01:06:00,247
- Why are you giving up?
- I'm not giving up. I'm not.

1155
01:06:00,420 --> 01:06:04,413
- You are. You're giving up on our boys.
- But they're forty.

1156
01:06:04,590 --> 01:06:07,560
I don't care how old they are.
They're still our children.

1157
01:06:07,728 --> 01:06:10,788
Well, sometime it's got
to matter how old they are.

1158
01:06:10,964 --> 01:06:13,694
That's all we do, is... Oh, sweet Jesus.

1159
01:06:13,867 --> 01:06:17,428
Oh, it... You know, they'll go back to bed.

1160
01:06:18,270 --> 01:06:20,034
See? They're sleepwalking.

1161
01:06:20,207 --> 01:06:22,198
No. No.

1162
01:06:22,375 --> 01:06:24,605
See, back to bed.

1163
01:06:24,778 --> 01:06:26,040
They'll be fine.

1164
01:06:26,446 --> 01:06:28,914
Just nonsense. I'm gonna wake them up.

1165
01:06:29,082 --> 01:06:32,540
- No. Why would you do such a thing?
- Well, because it's...

1166
01:06:32,719 --> 01:06:35,119
- Never, ever wake up a sleepwalker.
- See, that's it.

1167
01:06:35,288 --> 01:06:36,755
- We can't ever do anything.
- No.

1168
01:06:36,923 --> 01:06:39,391
But they could do real harm
to themselves or others.

1169
01:06:39,559 --> 01:06:42,119
- Oh, the Christmas presents.
- No, guys... No, no, don't...

1170
01:06:42,295 --> 01:06:44,661
- No. But...
- I think we should take control.

1171
01:06:44,830 --> 01:06:48,062
- It's always about them.
- How do you propose to do that?

1172
01:06:48,235 --> 01:06:50,396
- Oh, Jesus.
- Whatever you do, don't wake them.

1173
01:06:50,570 --> 01:06:53,596
They might do real harm
to themselves or others.

1174
01:06:53,774 --> 01:06:56,607
- Not everybody does know that.
- Oh, the Christmas tree!

1175
01:06:56,777 --> 01:06:59,940
Oh, not the... No, don't...
All right, that's it!

1176
01:07:00,113 --> 01:07:01,774
- I'm waking them up!
- No! No!

1177
01:07:01,948 --> 01:07:03,575
- Don't wake them up!
- That's a myth!

1178
01:07:03,750 --> 01:07:05,240
- Wake up, both of you.
- Don't.

1179
01:07:07,320 --> 01:07:09,914
I told you! I told you!

1180
01:07:10,690 --> 01:07:13,181
Stop it! Don't hurt him!

1181
01:07:13,627 --> 01:07:16,824
The pictures! Nancy!

1182
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:23,066
Robert!

1183
01:07:29,810 --> 01:07:32,472
I mean, I was driving around
with a buddy of mine, Topher.

1184
01:07:32,646 --> 01:07:34,045
You guys remember Topher, right?

1185
01:07:34,214 --> 01:07:36,614
Driving around, he has this
brand-new Testarossa, right?

1186
01:07:37,217 --> 01:07:40,778
We hit this four-point buck.
Dead. Lying in the road.

1187
01:07:41,054 --> 01:07:43,181
Long story short, we sue the state of Michigan.

1188
01:07:43,356 --> 01:07:47,884
I end up getting a hundred twenty-five G's.
Okay? You know what I spent that money on?

1189
01:07:48,060 --> 01:07:50,325
Sniper rifle to hunt deer.

1190
01:07:52,766 --> 01:07:54,996
Either way, the deers lose, my friends.

1191
01:08:00,640 --> 01:08:03,165
Good riddance. Eat all the damn flowers, anyway.

1192
01:08:03,343 --> 01:08:04,776
If you'll excuse me...

1193
01:08:04,945 --> 01:08:08,745
I think I'm going to go into
the other room to check my hair.

1194
01:08:09,216 --> 01:08:10,945
- Excuse me.
- Sorry, everybody.

1195
01:08:11,117 --> 01:08:13,017
If you'll excuse my space-cadet wife here.

1196
01:08:13,186 --> 01:08:15,347
Let's just say the meds aren't helping.

1197
01:08:16,256 --> 01:08:19,453
I'm kidding. Kidding. But not at all.

1198
01:08:19,626 --> 01:08:21,924
I have to get some more gravy.

1199
01:08:22,095 --> 01:08:24,063
- Oh, Dale, it's right there.
- Oh, no.

1200
01:08:24,230 --> 01:08:26,995
Shush up, Nancy. I have to get some more bread.

1201
01:08:27,900 --> 01:08:29,926
What did I do to deserve that?

1202
01:08:34,207 --> 01:08:36,072
What do any of us do to deserve anything?

1203
01:08:36,243 --> 01:08:40,270
I pay enough taxes to support
all these lazy goddamn liberals.

1204
01:08:42,349 --> 01:08:47,286
Get off me! Off!
Get back. Get back! Back!

1205
01:08:54,895 --> 01:08:56,954
- What do you want?
- Merry Christmas, darling.

1206
01:08:57,130 --> 01:08:59,894
- Merry Christmas.
- Oh, that was torture.

1207
01:09:01,534 --> 01:09:04,992
I couldn't eat another bite of turkey
without thinking of you inside of me.

1208
01:09:05,170 --> 01:09:06,900
Come on, let's try something illegal.

1209
01:09:07,274 --> 01:09:09,401
So, Tommy, what did you get for Christmas?

1210
01:09:09,576 --> 01:09:14,809
Well, Santa brought me the Bowflex and one
thousand in fresh-minted fifty dollar bills.

1211
01:09:14,980 --> 01:09:19,645
Wanna know what I got for
Christmas? A crushed soul.

1212
01:09:23,423 --> 01:09:25,414
- Alice, please.
- Sing along, Santa.

1213
01:09:25,592 --> 01:09:26,752
You know this song.

1214
01:09:26,927 --> 01:09:29,122
What is that noise?

1215
01:09:29,963 --> 01:09:31,430
It's... This is the ghost.

1216
01:09:31,698 --> 01:09:34,599
- Just try to be quiet. Okay.
- You're right. You're right.

1217
01:09:34,768 --> 01:09:37,202
- We've got to be discreet.
- All right.

1218
01:09:37,370 --> 01:09:40,430
No, no! Oh, hey.

1219
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:44,003
Are you all still talking in here?

1220
01:09:44,177 --> 01:09:45,201
What are you doing?

1221
01:09:46,579 --> 01:09:49,639
Alice was moving a chair from the
living room into the dining room...

1222
01:09:49,816 --> 01:09:53,183
for an extra chair and her back went out.

1223
01:09:53,353 --> 01:09:57,551
And I just did the best thing,
which is get right on the muscles...

1224
01:09:57,724 --> 01:09:59,385
- Muscles.
- so they don't seize up.

1225
01:09:59,559 --> 01:10:02,153
Just add some heat to it.

1226
01:10:05,030 --> 01:10:06,430
Damn it, Dale, sit down.

1227
01:10:06,599 --> 01:10:10,126
It's just a real deep, tight muscle.

1228
01:10:10,303 --> 01:10:12,066
Hey, sweetie, can you grab me a beer?

1229
01:10:12,238 --> 01:10:13,967
- I'll get you another Heineken.
- Yeah.

1230
01:10:14,140 --> 01:10:16,131
Merry Christmas.

1231
01:10:16,609 --> 01:10:19,442
And how about you, Tiffany,
what did you get for Christmas?

1232
01:10:19,612 --> 01:10:22,172
I got this Mikimoto pearl necklace.

1233
01:10:22,349 --> 01:10:25,750
But next year I'm gonna ask
Santa for breast implants...

1234
01:10:25,919 --> 01:10:27,819
because I'm impatient with my body.

1235
01:10:27,988 --> 01:10:31,389
Hey, Tiffany. Wanna know
what I got? A crushed soul.

1236
01:10:31,658 --> 01:10:33,125
You mentioned that earlier.

1237
01:10:34,594 --> 01:10:36,084
- So good.
- Oh, gosh!

1238
01:10:36,262 --> 01:10:40,096
It's gone into a real bad spasm,
so I put a yoga move on her.

1239
01:10:41,668 --> 01:10:44,796
- grant me this one,
- because I was pretty wasted.

1240
01:10:44,970 --> 01:10:46,598
So I put my lips around that breathalyzer...

1241
01:10:47,240 --> 01:10:49,538
and I saw those numerals pop up:

1242
01:10:49,709 --> 01:10:53,975
0.079.

1243
01:10:54,680 --> 01:10:59,118
So I started going to Chad
Michael Murray's Christmas party.

1244
01:10:59,285 --> 01:11:01,378
I think that was the year. And just driving...

1245
01:11:01,554 --> 01:11:05,115
I have to interrupt you. Robert, while
the children are in the living room...

1246
01:11:05,290 --> 01:11:08,226
I think this would be a good
time to make our announcement.

1247
01:11:08,395 --> 01:11:11,296
- What's going on?
- It's over.

1248
01:11:12,032 --> 01:11:14,796
I'm gonna be moving in
with my friend Jack Handle...

1249
01:11:14,968 --> 01:11:17,459
and Nancy found a townhouse in the city.

1250
01:11:18,738 --> 01:11:20,330
What is this? What's happening?

1251
01:11:20,507 --> 01:11:23,943
What Robert is trying to say
is that we are getting a divorce.

1252
01:11:24,344 --> 01:11:27,006
- Don't do this.
- No. No!

1253
01:11:27,180 --> 01:11:28,875
- I could've called this one.
- No.

1254
01:11:29,049 --> 01:11:30,914
- Yeah.
- Is it our fault?

1255
01:11:31,084 --> 01:11:33,109
- Is it because we were bad?
- No. No.

1256
01:11:33,286 --> 01:11:36,278
The main thing that
Robert and I talked about...

1257
01:11:36,456 --> 01:11:39,016
is that we did not want
you two to blame yourselves.

1258
01:11:39,192 --> 01:11:42,559
- What can we do to fix it?
- Dale, honey, are you okay?

1259
01:11:42,729 --> 01:11:45,630
- Why are you calling him "honey"?
- I cannot stress this enough:

1260
01:11:45,799 --> 01:11:49,394
- It is not your fault.
- Whose fault is it?

1261
01:11:49,569 --> 01:11:51,969
- Fuck it, I wanna fucking know!
- Let's cut the shit.

1262
01:11:52,138 --> 01:11:55,733
- It is directly your fault.
- Robert.

1263
01:11:55,909 --> 01:11:57,376
You destroyed my boat.

1264
01:11:57,544 --> 01:11:59,102
You beat me up in your sleep...

1265
01:11:59,279 --> 01:12:03,306
and worst of all, you made
Nancy and I resent each other.

1266
01:12:03,483 --> 01:12:08,182
- It is absolutely 150% your fault!
- Of course it's their fault.

1267
01:12:08,354 --> 01:12:11,755
They're the world's biggest dickheads,
and they're living in your house.

1268
01:12:11,925 --> 01:12:14,485
- Shut up, Derek.
- I'm sorry, but that...

1269
01:12:15,462 --> 01:12:18,863
Please don't cry like that.
Please don't, Brennan.

1270
01:12:22,702 --> 01:12:26,729
- Mommy!
- Dale!

1271
01:12:26,906 --> 01:12:29,773
I told you that they would
feel completely to blame.

1272
01:12:29,943 --> 01:12:33,709
- Oh, let's grow up.
- I think I'm going to throw up.

1273
01:12:33,880 --> 01:12:36,280
- I think I'm gonna throw up...
- Don't throw up.

1274
01:12:36,449 --> 01:12:39,350
all the nice dinner that I had.
I'm gonna throw it up.

1275
01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:42,784
- You're not gonna throw up.
- He's gonna throw up.

1276
01:12:43,857 --> 01:12:46,690
- Come on.
- My God, he threw up. Oh, this is ugly.

1277
01:12:46,860 --> 01:12:48,919
- Hey, guys. Guys.
- This is not nice!

1278
01:12:49,095 --> 01:12:52,064
- All right, dipshits. Right here.
- Stop it, Derek.

1279
01:12:52,232 --> 01:12:57,431
- One, two, three...
- I don't want my picture taken now.

1280
01:13:03,476 --> 01:13:06,673
Good luck, and remember, I need
you out of this house by tomorrow.

1281
01:13:06,846 --> 01:13:09,007
No exceptions.

1282
01:13:17,657 --> 01:13:20,421
If there's anything you need,
anything that you boys need...

1283
01:13:20,593 --> 01:13:23,289
you just give me a call.
Okay? It's all right.

1284
01:13:29,469 --> 01:13:33,166
Hey. Are you awake?

1285
01:13:33,506 --> 01:13:35,167
Yeah.

1286
01:13:37,677 --> 01:13:41,408
I can't believe we actually
have to move out of this house.

1287
01:13:42,048 --> 01:13:44,414
I know. I feel bad.

1288
01:13:44,684 --> 01:13:47,209
Hey, you know, we don't
have to whisper anymore.

1289
01:13:47,387 --> 01:13:48,752
Mom and Dad aren't here.

1290
01:13:48,922 --> 01:13:50,947
Yeah, but can we keep doing it, though?

1291
01:13:51,124 --> 01:13:53,285
It helps me pretend that they are.

1292
01:13:53,459 --> 01:13:56,292
You must feel just terrible.

1293
01:13:57,030 --> 01:14:00,193
- I mean, I know I feel bad.
- Yeah.

1294
01:14:00,366 --> 01:14:02,698
But I can't imagine how you feel...

1295
01:14:02,869 --> 01:14:05,804
after my dad looked right at you and said...

1296
01:14:05,972 --> 01:14:08,440
it's all your fault that they broke up.

1297
01:14:08,608 --> 01:14:12,476
That's funny, because my mom said:

1298
01:14:12,645 --> 01:14:15,079
"If that curly-headed fuck Dale wasn't here...

1299
01:14:15,248 --> 01:14:17,682
everything would be perfect."

1300
01:14:18,484 --> 01:14:21,715
- You take that back.
- No way. It's your fault.

1301
01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:23,884
You know what your problem is?

1302
01:14:24,057 --> 01:14:26,821
You live in a fantasy land.
You refuse to get a job...

1303
01:14:26,993 --> 01:14:29,689
and you don't know what it's
like to work for something.

1304
01:14:29,862 --> 01:14:33,457
You don't take responsibility for
your actions. This is all your fault!

1305
01:14:33,633 --> 01:14:36,693
Well, you're a mama's boy who's
too chicken to sing in public!

1306
01:14:38,805 --> 01:14:40,033
Yeah, that's right.

1307
01:14:40,206 --> 01:14:42,504
Run away, little boy,
because you know it's true.

1308
01:14:42,675 --> 01:14:44,233
Just avoid everything.

1309
01:14:45,612 --> 01:14:47,273
What are you doing?

1310
01:14:48,214 --> 01:14:51,047
- <i>Dale broke up Mom and Dad</i>
- Motherfucker!

1311
01:14:51,217 --> 01:14:55,017
<i>Dale broke up Mom and Dad
Dale broke up Mom and Dad</i>

1312
01:14:55,188 --> 01:14:57,053
- Dale broke up Mom and...
- Brennan!

1313
01:15:02,862 --> 01:15:06,025
Get up, Brennan, I know you're faking. Get up!

1314
01:15:06,332 --> 01:15:07,993
Get up!

1315
01:15:14,240 --> 01:15:15,264
Brennan?

1316
01:15:15,440 --> 01:15:18,808
It's just like Cold Case Files.
It's just like Cold Case Files.

1317
01:15:18,978 --> 01:15:20,843
It's just like Cold Case Files.

1318
01:15:21,347 --> 01:15:23,508
People die every day.

1319
01:15:23,883 --> 01:15:28,013
Give him a proper burial
in an unmarked grave...

1320
01:15:32,090 --> 01:15:34,616
- Brennan! You're alive! Oh, my God.
- I know.

1321
01:15:34,794 --> 01:15:36,125
I'm alive.

1322
01:15:38,730 --> 01:15:42,394
- You were dead. I saw you die!
- I was faking.

1323
01:15:42,568 --> 01:15:45,036
I used ninja focus to slow my heart rate down.

1324
01:15:46,072 --> 01:15:48,267
- What are you doing?
- I'm burying you.

1325
01:15:48,440 --> 01:15:51,899
- I'm alive. Brennan, I'm alive.
- You're waking the neighbors!

1326
01:15:52,078 --> 01:15:54,376
- Shut up!
- No. No.

1327
01:15:55,648 --> 01:15:58,446
- Now I'm gonna play your drum set.
- Help me.

1328
01:15:58,618 --> 01:16:01,416
Close your eyes.
Let the dirt just shower over you.

1329
01:16:02,522 --> 01:16:04,649
This is your fault.

1330
01:16:05,258 --> 01:16:09,752
Oh, I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna sleep good tonight.

1331
01:16:12,532 --> 01:16:15,057
- Don't you touch my drums!
- Zombie!

1332
01:16:15,535 --> 01:16:18,402
Zombie! Zombie!

1333
01:16:20,006 --> 01:16:21,234
Get off me, zombie.

1334
01:16:23,309 --> 01:16:24,401
Get off.

1335
01:16:36,856 --> 01:16:38,084
I'm late for school.

1336
01:16:38,257 --> 01:16:41,784
I will kiss you right on
the mouth, Kenny Rogers.

1337
01:16:42,762 --> 01:16:45,322
- Just get off me.
- Hey.

1338
01:16:48,768 --> 01:16:50,429
So I guess it's really over.

1339
01:16:50,603 --> 01:16:53,470
I'd say you trying to bury me
alive pretty much did it.

1340
01:16:53,639 --> 01:16:55,869
You know what I just realized?

1341
01:16:56,042 --> 01:16:58,203
You've been the one dragging me down.

1342
01:16:58,378 --> 01:17:01,472
Now I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna
get a job and an apartment...

1343
01:17:01,647 --> 01:17:04,616
and then I'm gonna get Mom
and Dr. Doback back together.

1344
01:17:04,784 --> 01:17:07,514
I'm gonna be the hero,
and you can suck on it.

1345
01:17:10,790 --> 01:17:13,657
My life was perfect before you came here.

1346
01:17:13,826 --> 01:17:17,853
Me and my dad had a perfect
setup, and you wrecked it.

1347
01:17:21,400 --> 01:17:22,766
Hey.

1348
01:17:23,636 --> 01:17:25,831
We're no longer brothers.

1349
01:17:26,205 --> 01:17:30,005
We never were. We were stepbrothers.

1350
01:17:42,922 --> 01:17:45,482
- That was one of your best.
- These balls fucking suck.

1351
01:17:46,492 --> 01:17:47,754
All right.

1352
01:17:48,394 --> 01:17:50,419
Well, well, well, look who's here, boys.

1353
01:17:50,963 --> 01:17:53,557
Can you give me a job, please?

1354
01:17:54,667 --> 01:17:57,932
TJ, get an office pool going.

1355
01:17:58,304 --> 01:18:01,068
Give Ken-Doll Crotch here two weeks, tops.

1356
01:18:01,740 --> 01:18:04,039
Dr. Angel Face, I just wanted to say thank you...

1357
01:18:04,210 --> 01:18:07,907
for meeting me on such short notice.

1358
01:18:08,080 --> 01:18:10,412
- Don't call me Angel Face.
- I apologize.

1359
01:18:10,583 --> 01:18:15,247
I'm very alone right now, and the
thing I wanna ask you to help me...

1360
01:18:15,755 --> 01:18:18,519
To show me how I can be a grown-up.

1361
01:18:18,690 --> 01:18:20,716
Do I carry my high-school diploma around?

1362
01:18:20,893 --> 01:18:22,292
What do you do with your hair?

1363
01:18:22,462 --> 01:18:24,589
What happens if there's inclement weather?

1364
01:18:24,764 --> 01:18:26,425
Where do you...? What do you wear?

1365
01:18:26,599 --> 01:18:28,396
Can you wash clothes in the dishwasher?

1366
01:18:28,568 --> 01:18:31,537
I notice that there's a
long gap in your job history...

1367
01:18:31,704 --> 01:18:35,504
and it said for twenty-two years...

1368
01:18:35,675 --> 01:18:38,769
you went Kerouac on everyone's ass?

1369
01:18:38,945 --> 01:18:41,209
I'm gonna be honest with you.
I really need a job.

1370
01:18:41,380 --> 01:18:44,543
And I will take any position,
as long as it doesn't involve...

1371
01:18:44,717 --> 01:18:48,744
having sex with old ladies
for money or bear traps.

1372
01:18:48,920 --> 01:18:51,481
- Those are my two bugaboos.
- All right, got it.

1373
01:18:51,657 --> 01:18:54,421
There's a catering business,
there's a temp job open.

1374
01:18:54,594 --> 01:18:57,062
And you get to play with fire.

1375
01:20:09,368 --> 01:20:11,700
What do you want?
This is my online-poker time.

1376
01:20:11,870 --> 01:20:14,169
I'm ready to take on
the Catalina Wine Mixer.

1377
01:20:14,340 --> 01:20:16,240
Slow down there, Speed Racer.

1378
01:20:16,409 --> 01:20:18,741
I know what it entails,
and I'm ready to nail it.

1379
01:20:18,910 --> 01:20:21,471
I want it, okay?
I want the Catalina Wine Mixer.

1380
01:20:21,647 --> 01:20:23,410
- Yo, yo.
- Hey, D-man.

1381
01:20:23,583 --> 01:20:25,278
- You tell him what's up?
- I sure did.

1382
01:20:25,450 --> 01:20:26,975
- Hey.
- Hey.

1383
01:20:27,153 --> 01:20:29,587
Your brother wants a shot
at the Catalina Wine Mixer.

1384
01:20:29,755 --> 01:20:30,915
I'm ready, walking tall.

1385
01:20:31,090 --> 01:20:32,819
You're ready to run with the bulls?

1386
01:20:32,992 --> 01:20:36,894
I've been earning and burning,
snapping necks and cashing checks.

1387
01:20:37,363 --> 01:20:39,991
Screw it, let's let him do it.
It's a win-win for me...

1388
01:20:40,166 --> 01:20:42,396
- because if you fuck up, Brennan...
- Yeah?

1389
01:20:42,568 --> 01:20:46,732
I get to fire your ass. But if you pull
it off, I look like a genius to the board.

1390
01:20:47,707 --> 01:20:49,072
- Okay?
- I get it.

1391
01:20:49,240 --> 01:20:50,538
Brennan, here's the thing.

1392
01:20:50,710 --> 01:20:53,543
It's the Catalina fucking Wine Mixer, okay?

1393
01:20:53,813 --> 01:20:55,872
Are you saying "pow"? What are you saying?

1394
01:20:56,349 --> 01:20:59,807
It's the biggest helicopter-leasing
event in the Western Hemisphere...

1395
01:20:59,986 --> 01:21:02,011
since 1997.

1396
01:21:02,520 --> 01:21:05,149
- Why does he keep doing that?
- I have to sell or lease...

1397
01:21:05,324 --> 01:21:07,417
at least eighty choppers to make my nut.

1398
01:21:07,593 --> 01:21:12,257
And you mess with my nut, Brennan,
Randy here is gonna eat your dick.

1399
01:21:12,430 --> 01:21:14,922
Like Kobayashi.

1400
01:21:16,569 --> 01:21:17,797
I've seen him do it.

1401
01:21:17,970 --> 01:21:19,437
You've seen him eat a penis?

1402
01:21:19,605 --> 01:21:22,472
It was in international waters,
so they couldn't prosecute him.

1403
01:21:22,642 --> 01:21:25,133
I tell you now, I'll nail it.
I'll pull it off, okay?

1404
01:21:25,310 --> 01:21:27,302
Wait a second, why do you want this so bad?

1405
01:21:27,480 --> 01:21:29,971
Trying to get Mom and Dad
back together or something?

1406
01:21:30,149 --> 01:21:31,377
- Why do I want this?
- Yeah.

1407
01:21:31,550 --> 01:21:36,419
Because I wanna make
bank, bro. I wanna get ass.

1408
01:21:36,589 --> 01:21:38,318
And I wanna drive a Range Rover.

1409
01:21:38,490 --> 01:21:39,981
Okay, well, you better, Brennan.

1410
01:21:40,159 --> 01:21:42,252
This is the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.

1411
01:22:00,880 --> 01:22:02,643
Nancy. Hi.

1412
01:22:02,815 --> 01:22:06,307
Hi. What are you doing here?

1413
01:22:06,485 --> 01:22:08,419
Well, Dale's working the function.

1414
01:22:08,587 --> 01:22:11,454
Guys, this is supposed
to be jicama, not bok choy.

1415
01:22:11,624 --> 01:22:12,648
Sorry, folks.

1416
01:22:14,060 --> 01:22:16,426
And I got an invitation from Brennan.

1417
01:22:16,595 --> 01:22:19,723
Can you believe Brennan put all this together?

1418
01:22:22,435 --> 01:22:25,029
And now here we all are in Catalina.

1419
01:22:25,204 --> 01:22:28,867
- It's funny, huh?
- Yeah, it's funny.

1420
01:22:29,040 --> 01:22:31,373
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey.

1421
01:22:32,578 --> 01:22:34,671
Not bad. You're nailing it.

1422
01:22:34,847 --> 01:22:37,077
- Thanks, Randy. That means a lot.
- Yeah.

1423
01:22:37,249 --> 01:22:38,443
I don't know what it is...

1424
01:22:38,617 --> 01:22:41,450
but I wanna deliver one of
these right in your suck hole.

1425
01:22:41,620 --> 01:22:44,714
- Is there anything I can do?
- No. Not really. It's your face.

1426
01:22:44,890 --> 01:22:47,450
Again, you're doing great, man.
The Catalina Wine Mixer.

1427
01:22:47,626 --> 01:22:49,526
We're all having a great time, having fun.

1428
01:22:49,695 --> 01:22:52,220
You pulled it off.
But if you don't change your face...

1429
01:22:52,398 --> 01:22:54,525
- I'm gonna change it for you.
- Okay. Okay.

1430
01:22:54,700 --> 01:22:56,827
All I can do is take that in, consider it...

1431
01:22:57,002 --> 01:23:00,267
and I'll just do my best version
of whatever I think that would be.

1432
01:23:00,439 --> 01:23:03,203
I don't even hear you,
your face is driving me nuts.

1433
01:23:03,375 --> 01:23:05,434
- Thanks again, though.
- Oh, tits. Hold on.

1434
01:23:05,878 --> 01:23:09,245
- Hey. Hello, Catalina Wine Mixer.
- Hi.

1435
01:23:09,515 --> 01:23:11,949
How are you? We are Uptown Girl.

1436
01:23:12,118 --> 01:23:15,918
We are California's preeminent
1980s Billy Joel cover band.

1437
01:23:16,088 --> 01:23:17,851
"Piano Man"!

1438
01:23:18,023 --> 01:23:19,957
What did I just say, man?

1439
01:23:20,126 --> 01:23:21,889
All right, we don't play that...

1440
01:23:22,060 --> 01:23:24,586
so let's keep it in the '80s
and let's keep it fun.

1441
01:23:24,764 --> 01:23:25,890
You having a good time?

1442
01:23:26,065 --> 01:23:28,465
I hope you are, because
sometimes life can be tough.

1443
01:23:30,169 --> 01:23:33,661
And I know that sometimes
it's hard to "Keeping the Faith."

1444
01:23:44,116 --> 01:23:46,016
You guys seem to be hitting it off.

1445
01:23:46,185 --> 01:23:47,482
Oh, honey.

1446
01:23:47,653 --> 01:23:49,553
Oh, my God, this is the greatest party.

1447
01:23:49,722 --> 01:23:50,916
- Hello, Robert.
- Way to go.

1448
01:23:51,090 --> 01:23:53,650
- Brennan, this is fantastic.
- Way to go.

1449
01:23:53,826 --> 01:23:55,555
So impressed.

1450
01:23:55,728 --> 01:23:57,753
- Hi, Dad. Hi, Nancy.
- Hi, Dale.

1451
01:23:57,930 --> 01:23:59,659
- Hey, Brennan.
- It's good to see you.

1452
01:23:59,865 --> 01:24:01,958
Thanks for hiring our catering company.

1453
01:24:02,134 --> 01:24:05,035
Easy decision. You guys have
a outstanding track record.

1454
01:24:05,670 --> 01:24:08,367
- Just like old times, huh?
- Right, it really is.

1455
01:24:08,540 --> 01:24:10,406
You still have your night-vision goggles?

1456
01:24:10,576 --> 01:24:14,478
No, no. No, I had to sell
those to pay for car insurance.

1457
01:24:15,047 --> 01:24:17,015
How about you? You still breaking boards...

1458
01:24:17,183 --> 01:24:19,174
or kicking holes in pumpkins or anything?

1459
01:24:19,350 --> 01:24:20,909
No.

1460
01:24:21,587 --> 01:24:24,852
But I did start taking baby aspirin
to reduce my risk for heart attack.

1461
01:24:25,024 --> 01:24:27,822
That makes sense.
Gotta keep an eye on it, you know.

1462
01:24:27,993 --> 01:24:31,019
- Knock off the sweets.
- Thank you.

1463
01:24:35,267 --> 01:24:38,361
It's a truly funny observation.

1464
01:24:38,537 --> 01:24:39,731
Yeah.

1465
01:24:39,905 --> 01:24:42,396
Dale, the empanadas are starting to sweat.

1466
01:24:42,575 --> 01:24:44,736
Okay. I better run.

1467
01:24:44,910 --> 01:24:46,775
- It's good to see you, Brennan.
- You too.

1468
01:24:46,946 --> 01:24:50,074
- Take care, be well. Take care, Dad.
- Okay, buddy.

1469
01:24:50,249 --> 01:24:52,649
- It's great to talk to him.
- Yeah.

1470
01:24:53,352 --> 01:24:54,512
I gotta go too.

1471
01:24:54,687 --> 01:24:57,850
We should do this again.
I think it was very constructive.

1472
01:25:02,094 --> 01:25:04,426
- Maybe grab a bite to eat?
- Sure.

1473
01:25:04,597 --> 01:25:06,360
- Go to Outback Steakhouse.
- Okay.

1474
01:25:06,532 --> 01:25:08,227
I've grown very fond of that place.

1475
01:25:09,635 --> 01:25:11,535
Thank you for coming.

1476
01:25:11,704 --> 01:25:13,467
Great to see you.

1477
01:25:14,907 --> 01:25:17,375
It was very nice to see you, Robert.

1478
01:25:17,877 --> 01:25:23,338
I think Brennan organized this
whole thing to get us back together.

1479
01:25:25,250 --> 01:25:29,950
You have to excuse me.
I think that I just might cry.

1480
01:25:30,122 --> 01:25:33,683
It's the funniest thing. Bye-bye.

1481
01:25:37,663 --> 01:25:40,063
<i>"Start the Fire," buddy!</i>

1482
01:25:40,633 --> 01:25:43,830
Come on, man. Play something from The Stranger!

1483
01:25:44,069 --> 01:25:46,833
We strictly do '80s Joel music, sir.

1484
01:25:50,109 --> 01:25:52,077
'80s Billy Joel doo-wop sucks!

1485
01:25:52,244 --> 01:25:54,804
Hey, listen, motherfucker,
we only sing '80s Joel!

1486
01:25:54,980 --> 01:25:57,778
So take your skank hooker wife
and get the fuck out of here!

1487
01:25:59,718 --> 01:26:00,742
Shit.

1488
01:26:00,920 --> 01:26:02,979
- What's wrong?
- All right. "What's wrong?"

1489
01:26:03,155 --> 01:26:05,350
Get him out of here.
Get his ass out of here!

1490
01:26:05,624 --> 01:26:06,818
Hey.

1491
01:26:06,992 --> 01:26:10,621
Hey, great job, fuck face. You just
busted my nut. This party's shot.

1492
01:26:10,796 --> 01:26:13,321
Just relax. I didn't realize
he would say these things.

1493
01:26:13,499 --> 01:26:15,262
You know what? You cost me money.

1494
01:26:15,434 --> 01:26:17,925
So this isn't even a judgment call, man.

1495
01:26:18,103 --> 01:26:21,004
- You're Audi 5000, my friend.
- Derek, can't we talk about this?

1496
01:26:21,173 --> 01:26:22,333
No.

1497
01:26:22,508 --> 01:26:24,271
- Hey.
- Shit.

1498
01:26:24,443 --> 01:26:27,276
- Is everything okay?
- No. He just fired me.

1499
01:26:27,446 --> 01:26:28,708
What happened to the music?

1500
01:26:28,880 --> 01:26:31,645
The band left. The guy freaked out.

1501
01:26:31,817 --> 01:26:32,977
Derek fired me.

1502
01:26:33,152 --> 01:26:35,416
- It's no big deal.
- Robert, you don't get it.

1503
01:26:35,587 --> 01:26:37,145
It's the Catalina Wine Mixer!

1504
01:26:37,323 --> 01:26:39,553
People have killed to be
in the position I'm in.

1505
01:26:39,725 --> 01:26:41,989
- He's right. It's a big deal.
- Here's a thought:

1506
01:26:42,494 --> 01:26:44,724
I see an empty stage.

1507
01:26:44,897 --> 01:26:47,627
I see drums, I see a drummer.

1508
01:26:47,800 --> 01:26:50,200
I see a microphone, and I see a singer.

1509
01:26:50,369 --> 01:26:51,802
- Dad, come on.
- What?

1510
01:26:51,970 --> 01:26:53,905
- We gave that stuff up.
- We don't do that.

1511
01:26:54,073 --> 01:26:56,541
Listen to me. Dale, look, when I was a kid...

1512
01:26:56,709 --> 01:26:59,803
when I was a little boy,
I always wanted to be a dinosaur.

1513
01:26:59,979 --> 01:27:02,743
I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus
Rex more than anything.

1514
01:27:02,915 --> 01:27:05,884
I made my arms short
and I roamed the backyard...

1515
01:27:06,050 --> 01:27:09,646
and I chased the neighborhood cats,
and I growled and I roared.

1516
01:27:09,822 --> 01:27:11,687
Everybody knew me and was afraid of me.

1517
01:27:11,857 --> 01:27:13,324
And then one day, my dad said:

1518
01:27:13,492 --> 01:27:17,394
"Bobby, you're seventeen. It's time
to throw childish things aside."

1519
01:27:17,563 --> 01:27:18,621
And I said, "Okay, Pop."

1520
01:27:18,797 --> 01:27:22,756
But he didn't really say that, he said,
"Stop being a fuckin' dinosaur and get a job."

1521
01:27:22,935 --> 01:27:26,302
But, you know, I thought to myself,
"I'll go to medical school...

1522
01:27:26,472 --> 01:27:29,703
l'll practice for a little while,
and then I'll come back to it."

1523
01:27:29,908 --> 01:27:31,773
- Dad...
- How is that a skill?

1524
01:27:31,944 --> 01:27:33,502
But I forgot how to do it.

1525
01:27:33,679 --> 01:27:34,907
You're human.

1526
01:27:35,080 --> 01:27:37,275
- You could never be a dinosaur.
- Yeah.

1527
01:27:38,784 --> 01:27:41,014
Hey, I lost it.

1528
01:27:41,186 --> 01:27:43,177
- Dad, what's the point?
- Yeah.

1529
01:27:43,355 --> 01:27:46,153
The point is don't lose your dinosaur.

1530
01:27:46,625 --> 01:27:49,458
Yeah. You know, I hated the
way you guys were before.

1531
01:27:49,628 --> 01:27:50,856
I mean, I hated you.

1532
01:27:51,030 --> 01:27:55,797
But it just kills me to see
you so crushed and normal.

1533
01:27:55,968 --> 01:27:57,799
Listen to me, don't listen to me...

1534
01:27:57,970 --> 01:28:01,201
Prestige Worldwide, that's what you gotta do.

1535
01:28:01,373 --> 01:28:03,807
- You're saying we should go for it.
- That's what I'm saying.

1536
01:28:05,410 --> 01:28:07,072
What do you think, Brennan?

1537
01:28:07,246 --> 01:28:09,680
I'm so scared right now.
I'm gonna do what's sensible:

1538
01:28:09,848 --> 01:28:11,440
I'm gonna file for unemployment...

1539
01:28:11,617 --> 01:28:14,415
and I'm gonna try to get a job
at Enterprise Rent-A-Car.

1540
01:28:14,586 --> 01:28:17,384
Because they got an
excellent corporate structure...

1541
01:28:17,556 --> 01:28:20,548
and they give you the
tools to be your own boss.

1542
01:28:20,726 --> 01:28:22,626
My dad's right.

1543
01:28:22,795 --> 01:28:24,319
This isn't me.

1544
01:28:24,496 --> 01:28:27,659
I'm fucking miserable.
I had to get up at 10:00 this morning.

1545
01:28:27,833 --> 01:28:31,667
And even though I just
got a tidal wave of nerves...

1546
01:28:31,837 --> 01:28:33,532
l'm going up on that stage...

1547
01:28:33,705 --> 01:28:36,230
and I'm gonna make beautiful
music for a sad world.

1548
01:28:36,408 --> 01:28:38,740
- Dale...
- That's the boy I know.

1549
01:28:38,910 --> 01:28:41,004
This crowd's gonna eat him alive.

1550
01:28:43,315 --> 01:28:44,782
Wait, what's he doing up there?

1551
01:28:44,950 --> 01:28:47,316
Somebody get him off the fucking stage!

1552
01:28:47,486 --> 01:28:49,579
Hi. How you doing?

1553
01:28:49,755 --> 01:28:53,122
My name's Dale Doback,
and I hope you like to kick it.

1554
01:28:53,292 --> 01:28:55,021
Oh, go get them, Dale!

1555
01:28:56,495 --> 01:28:57,519
Boats and ho's!

1556
01:28:57,696 --> 01:28:59,561
Get off the stage, you dick!

1557
01:28:59,932 --> 01:29:01,490
Stop yelling at him.

1558
01:29:03,535 --> 01:29:05,230
- <i>Terrible!</i>
- <i>Terrible.</i>

1559
01:29:05,404 --> 01:29:06,803
He's a human being.

1560
01:29:06,972 --> 01:29:11,306
Dale has a mangina!
Dale has a mangina!

1561
01:29:11,477 --> 01:29:12,569
No.

1562
01:29:12,744 --> 01:29:14,871
Gotta have me my boats and ho's

1563
01:29:15,047 --> 01:29:17,413
He's up there alone, Brennan.
He's up there alone.

1564
01:29:18,750 --> 01:29:21,947
Gotta have me my boats and ho's

1565
01:29:22,120 --> 01:29:23,952
- You suck!
- What are you doing, Brennan?

1566
01:29:24,123 --> 01:29:25,215
Gotta have me my...

1567
01:29:25,390 --> 01:29:27,654
Brennan, no!

1568
01:29:28,660 --> 01:29:30,287
- What did you do?
- Oh, Jesus, Nancy.

1569
01:29:30,462 --> 01:29:32,896
I couldn't stand to see him
like that. I miss my son.

1570
01:29:33,165 --> 01:29:37,568
All right. Let me go for a few bars.
Come in soft, but then finish strong.

1571
01:29:37,736 --> 01:29:39,704
- Okay. Hey, Brennan?
- Yeah.

1572
01:29:39,872 --> 01:29:42,932
- Thanks for coming up.
- You got it, Dragon.

1573
01:29:43,375 --> 01:29:44,933
We got a little change coming up.

1574
01:29:45,344 --> 01:29:47,505
It's my main man Brennan.

1575
01:30:43,902 --> 01:30:45,233
Boats and ho's

1576
01:31:03,689 --> 01:31:05,247
Boats and ho's

1577
01:31:52,770 --> 01:31:55,865
- You did it, Derek.
- I made a kite fly.

1578
01:31:56,040 --> 01:31:59,533
Brennan, you're the best big brother ever!

1579
01:32:08,186 --> 01:32:11,883
floor mats. The ones that match
the seats, and I kind of wanted...

1580
01:32:12,057 --> 01:32:14,525
I traveled five hundred
miles to give you my seed.

1581
01:32:14,860 --> 01:32:16,885
Lumberjack!

1582
01:32:57,336 --> 01:32:59,531
Rock the fuck out of those drums, Dale!

1583
01:32:59,705 --> 01:33:00,967
I'm sorry.

1584
01:33:42,280 --> 01:33:45,044
- We're Prestige Worldwide!
- Prestige Worldwide!

1585
01:33:45,217 --> 01:33:49,210
- Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.
- It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.

1586
01:33:49,388 --> 01:33:52,289
It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.

1587
01:33:52,624 --> 01:33:53,989
Brennan, that was sublime.

1588
01:33:54,159 --> 01:33:56,457
Amazing. We are so proud of you both.

1589
01:33:56,628 --> 01:33:58,152
- Thank you.
- Incredible.

1590
01:33:58,330 --> 01:33:59,490
- Thank you so much.
- Hey.

1591
01:33:59,664 --> 01:34:03,566
So I made my quota. Yeah,
we sold a shit-ton of copters.

1592
01:34:03,735 --> 01:34:05,828
- That's so good.
- Yeah.

1593
01:34:06,004 --> 01:34:09,462
Look, I'm not great at
this Hallmark stuff...

1594
01:34:09,640 --> 01:34:11,973
but, Brennan, when I look at you now...

1595
01:34:12,144 --> 01:34:14,544
I don't wanna kick you
in the head quite as much.

1596
01:34:16,047 --> 01:34:17,344
Thanks, man.

1597
01:34:17,516 --> 01:34:19,040
- That was beautiful.
- That was nice.

1598
01:34:19,217 --> 01:34:20,582
Yeah.

1599
01:34:21,453 --> 01:34:23,785
- What do we do now?
- We could hug.

1600
01:34:23,955 --> 01:34:26,014
Yeah, you'd like that,
faggot. Sorry. I'm...

1601
01:34:28,827 --> 01:34:30,351
Okay.

1602
01:34:43,008 --> 01:34:44,942
- It's okay.
- Okay.

1603
01:34:58,790 --> 01:35:01,782
- That's what we've been looking for.
- That's the ticket.

1604
01:35:02,194 --> 01:35:03,491
It's fantastic.

1605
01:35:03,662 --> 01:35:07,120
We've never done anything like that,
so you can't expect it to be perfect.

1606
01:35:07,299 --> 01:35:08,323
It was good.

1607
01:35:08,500 --> 01:35:10,229
- Felt good.
- Gotten close to a hug.

1608
01:35:10,402 --> 01:35:14,600
- Hello, Brennan. Hi.
- Denise. Hey.

1609
01:35:14,773 --> 01:35:17,537
Robert, Mom, Derek,
this is my girlfriend, Denise.

1610
01:35:17,709 --> 01:35:20,803
- Hi. How are you?
- Actually, I'm his therapist.

1611
01:35:20,979 --> 01:35:24,005
- We are in absolutely no way dating.
- Right.

1612
01:35:24,182 --> 01:35:27,982
Brennan told me he was going to
hurl his body off a helicopter...

1613
01:35:28,153 --> 01:35:30,348
into shark-infested waters...

1614
01:35:30,522 --> 01:35:32,922
so I had a legal obligation to be here.

1615
01:35:33,090 --> 01:35:34,251
I get it.

1616
01:35:34,426 --> 01:35:38,385
Don't wanna appear too eager,
and that is a good strategy too.

1617
01:35:38,563 --> 01:35:40,690
You are an enabler.
You think you're helping...

1618
01:35:40,866 --> 01:35:42,595
- but you're not.
- And you are a keeper.

1619
01:35:42,767 --> 01:35:44,564
What'd you think?

1620
01:35:45,504 --> 01:35:49,873
Brennan, I thought you were incredibly brave.

1621
01:35:50,040 --> 01:35:51,065
And I mean that...

1622
01:35:51,243 --> 01:35:54,542
in strictly the most clinical
and professional sense possible...

1623
01:35:54,713 --> 01:35:58,149
with no emotional, intimate, sexual...

1624
01:35:58,316 --> 01:36:00,944
or any other undertones
that you could possibly infer.

1625
01:36:01,152 --> 01:36:03,882
God, you're gonna make me cry.

1626
01:36:04,456 --> 01:36:08,017
What poem is that from?
Is that James Joyce?

1627
01:36:08,226 --> 01:36:09,887
Alice...

1628
01:36:10,795 --> 01:36:12,854
- I like making sex with you.
- Yeah.

1629
01:36:13,030 --> 01:36:16,797
I do. But you're also married.

1630
01:36:17,202 --> 01:36:18,897
It's over.

1631
01:36:19,905 --> 01:36:21,270
This is crazy. I'm a mother.

1632
01:36:21,439 --> 01:36:24,135
I have two children, I have
a husband, a beautiful home.

1633
01:36:24,309 --> 01:36:27,437
- I can't be fucking around with you.
- It was fun. It was fun, right?

1634
01:36:27,612 --> 01:36:30,877
- It was fun while it lasted.
- I'm glad. All right, well, good luck.

1635
01:36:33,118 --> 01:36:36,952
- No.
- Oh, my God, Dale!

1636
01:36:37,122 --> 01:36:40,114
- Please don't leave me.
- Oh, my God. Look at that whale.

1637
01:36:40,292 --> 01:36:41,816
Where?

1638
01:36:44,963 --> 01:36:46,362
Dale!

1639
01:36:52,337 --> 01:36:53,531
So I was with Seal...

1640
01:36:53,705 --> 01:36:57,163
and we were just taking a chopper
up to Everest base camp...

1641
01:36:57,342 --> 01:36:59,503
- and the plot to my Sherpa...
- Derek. Derek.

1642
01:37:00,210 --> 01:37:02,509
- Sorry. Okay.
- Remember, we talked about this.

1643
01:37:03,014 --> 01:37:05,608
Dale, Brennan. Tell me
about the karaoke business.

1644
01:37:05,950 --> 01:37:08,784
Really great, Dad. Yeah.
We call it Karaoke 'n' Roll.

1645
01:37:09,487 --> 01:37:12,513
We got six bars, three restaurants,
and two more wanna sign up.

1646
01:37:12,690 --> 01:37:14,682
- So it's booming.
- Fantastic.

1647
01:37:14,859 --> 01:37:16,588
Most karaoke, it's open to everyone.

1648
01:37:16,760 --> 01:37:18,991
- "Hey, just get up and have fun."
- Not you guys.

1649
01:37:19,164 --> 01:37:21,496
"If you can't sing, just
sit down." That's our motto.

1650
01:37:21,666 --> 01:37:24,294
- It's the big leagues.
- You guys are doing so great.

1651
01:37:24,469 --> 01:37:28,496
Guys, I have a little Christmas
surprise for Dale and Brennan.

1652
01:37:29,507 --> 01:37:31,031
- You wanna see it?
- Yes!

1653
01:37:31,209 --> 01:37:33,609
- You bet!
- Let's go look at it! Come on.

1654
01:37:33,778 --> 01:37:35,370
- Don't peek.
- I smell cookies.

1655
01:37:35,547 --> 01:37:37,412
Be patient. No, no. No, no.

1656
01:37:38,783 --> 01:37:41,616
- Just a pi�ata, isn't it?
- Be patient. Be patient.

1657
01:37:41,786 --> 01:37:43,686
- Be patient.
- Did you get me a tiger, Dad?

1658
01:37:43,855 --> 01:37:44,913
Okay, open your eyes.

1659
01:37:45,323 --> 01:37:46,347
Merry Christmas.

1660
01:37:46,524 --> 01:37:48,185
Holy shit!

1661
01:37:48,627 --> 01:37:51,858
Dad, I can't believe you
put the boat in the tree!

1662
01:37:52,030 --> 01:37:53,156
This is amazing!

1663
01:37:54,332 --> 01:37:57,631
- It's The Gilded Lady. She lives!
- I can't believe it.

1664
01:37:57,802 --> 01:38:01,932
- How'd you get it up here?
- Oh, Robert, it's so great.

1665
01:38:02,440 --> 01:38:04,305
- Pirate hats!
- Pirate hats!

1666
01:38:07,779 --> 01:38:09,406
- Hustlers!
- Hustlers!

1667
01:38:09,680 --> 01:38:11,774
Dad, that was so thoughtful!

1668
01:38:13,918 --> 01:38:16,614
- Crossbows!
- Crossbows!

1669
01:38:16,788 --> 01:38:19,723
You guys finally came to your senses
and got us something cool.

1670
01:38:20,090 --> 01:38:22,355
You both know this is
completely fucked up, right?

1671
01:38:22,527 --> 01:38:23,994
- Yeah.
- Of course.

1672
01:38:24,295 --> 01:38:28,129
But Brennan sure can wear the
shit out of that pirate hat.

1673
01:38:28,299 --> 01:38:31,166
- Chewbacca masks!
- Chewbacca masks!

1674
01:38:34,806 --> 01:38:37,900
It's okay that mine's not movie-quality.

1675
01:39:03,968 --> 01:39:07,404
But he's like, "No, because you drove
my car last week, so I can't get it."

1676
01:39:07,572 --> 01:39:11,531
So I'm like "You're gonna buy it for me
or I'm gonna sock you in the mouth."

1677
01:39:19,784 --> 01:39:22,014
Oh, shit.

1678
01:39:27,859 --> 01:39:31,488
Well, if it isn't Dale Doback
and his little butt buddy.

1679
01:39:31,663 --> 01:39:33,688
Sticks and stones may break my bones...

1680
01:39:33,865 --> 01:39:37,357
but I'm gonna kick you
repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!

1681
01:39:37,535 --> 01:39:39,935
Let's get them!

1682
01:40:26,384 --> 01:40:29,114
- Where do you think you're going?
- Home.

1683
01:40:29,287 --> 01:40:32,347
- We got something to show you.
- Come on.

1684
01:40:33,057 --> 01:40:36,185
- You see that white dog crap?
- Do you see it?!

1685
01:40:36,460 --> 01:40:38,725
- Yeah.
- Not too fun down there, is it?

1686
01:40:38,897 --> 01:40:40,125
- No.
- You see?

1687
01:40:40,298 --> 01:40:42,061
Your actions have consequences!

1688
01:40:42,233 --> 01:40:47,102
When you oppress people,
they rise up in a fiery anger!

1689
01:40:47,639 --> 01:40:48,867
Go home.

1690
01:40:50,575 --> 01:40:53,874
We're not like you. We're
grown-ups, motherfucker!

1691
01:40:54,045 --> 01:40:58,038
Say hi to your dad. We went
to high school together.

1692
01:41:03,955 --> 01:41:06,321
The cops'll be here soon.

1693
01:41:07,192 --> 01:41:09,717
I guess this is what it
feels like to be grown up.

1694
01:41:09,894 --> 01:41:11,384
Hey.

1695
01:41:11,896 --> 01:41:13,659
Can I ask you something?

1696
01:41:13,832 --> 01:41:15,299
Yeah, of course.

1697
01:41:15,466 --> 01:41:17,195
You know back when you first moved in?

1698
01:41:17,368 --> 01:41:18,392
Yeah.

1699
01:41:18,570 --> 01:41:21,164
- Did you touch my drum set?
- No, I didn't.

1700
01:41:21,339 --> 01:41:23,466
No, really, I won't get
mad. I just wanna know.

1701
01:41:23,640 --> 01:41:25,541
No, I know. You said you wouldn't get mad.

1702
01:41:25,710 --> 01:41:28,406
I'm saying I didn't do it.
I didn't do it, I never did it.

1703
01:41:28,580 --> 01:41:30,411
- Then I owe you an apology.
- No.

1704
01:41:30,582 --> 01:41:31,707
No, you don't, at all. No.

1705
01:41:32,383 --> 01:41:34,851
Why wouldn't you take an
apology if you didn't do it?

1706
01:41:35,019 --> 01:41:37,852
Just because I'm cool. It doesn't matter.

1707
01:45:18,543 --> 01:45:19,976
You got my passport.

1708
01:45:21,112 --> 01:45:22,136
I'm good.

1709
01:45:25,950 --> 01:45:28,919
Don't worry, not gonna be late. Don't worry.