Where's your fucking chain now?
Cunt!
Dumb-ass ponytail.
Here we go.
-l love you. -l love you too, baby.
Well, fuck you, Fido.
The fuck?
Show your fucking face, freak!
It is too bad I don't have fangs.
Oh, yeah!
-Rip your fucking throat out. -Oh, yeah.
Fuck, yeah. Here it comes.
Are you ready?
Fuck. Oh, fuck, yeah!
That was intense, huh?
Maudette?
Hey.
Maudette.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck. Fuck.
Oh, Jesus.
What a moron.
I didn't kill her.
Well, somebody sure as hell did.
A vampire.
You're sure?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, l saw his fangs.
Hey, Maudette had fang marks on her inner thigh.
We know. We examined the body.
Okay.
This be the same vampire your sister's messing around with?
Okay, first, my sister ain't messing around with nobody.
My sister don't mess around.
And second....
I don't know. l never met that vampire.
I never met any vampire, and l hope to hell l never do.
What'd this vampire on the videotape look like?
Bald-headed.
Weird skeleton tattoo.
And he looked crazy.
Crazy out of his motherfucking mind.
It's interesting, because this the only videotape...
...we found in Maudette's apartment.
Well, l guess that means somebody took them all, right?
Somebody didn't want you to see them?
Or somebody only wanted us to find this one?
Because it supposedly clears him of a crime...
...that maybe he came back later to commit?
Come on, Andy.
I'm not that smart.
Sookie.
I can't feel my legs.
Quick, drink before the wound closes.
-Would l be a vampire? -You won't be.
Goddamn it, Sookie, do you wanna live or not?
No.
Go back to the green room.
Turns out that l'm first in the walk-and-talk challenge.
Walking and talking can't be too hard, right?
B.J., your category is Names of U.S. States.
Arizona.
-Oh, Mama, damn. -Alabama. Mississippi.
Memphis.
New Jersey. New York. Connecticut.
Hello, hooker. What's the T?
Where are you?
I'm on my way to a party in Monroe.
And hell, no, l ain't swinging by to pick your needy ass up, hooker.
Lafayette, please.
My mama's passed out on the couch...
...and l can't face cleaning her up and putting her to bed.
It's just too goddamn depressing.
What's depressing is how often I get this phone call from you.
That's depressing.
Why come you won't call Jason Stackhouse?
You a mean, nasty bitch.
And you need to move your sorry ass out your mama house.
-That's what you needs to do. -Yeah, whatever.
Well, all right.
All right, l's on my way.
But you might got to find your own ride home.
Just in case l get lucky.
What you mean, if you get lucky?
Your standards are so low, you always get lucky.
Damn straight. Hallelujahs, hallelujahs.
Good Lord, l'm coming.
Jesus.
Jason, what the fuck?
Did I say you could come in?
Look, Jason, it's 3:00 in the morning.
You have no idea what I've been through since last night.
I spent the whole day thinking I'd really killed Maudette Pickens.
Oh, my God.
I thought I'd accidentally strangled her during sex.
And Bud and fucking Andy waited 12 whole hours...
...to show me a videotape that proved l didn't do it.
I thought I'd ruined my whole life.
Jason.
Do I taste different from other people?
Yes.
What are you?
Well, apparently I'm not dead.
What l am is telepathic.
I can hear people's thoughts.
-Even mine? -No.
That's why I like you so much.
I can't hear you at all.
You have no idea how peaceful it is...
...after a lifetime of blah, blah, blah.
May I ask you a personal question?
Bill, you were just licking blood out of my head.
I don't think it gets much more personal than that.
How do you manage a social life with men your own age?
-Their only thought must be-- -l don't date.
-Ever? -Oh, I've--
I've been on a few dates.
I can't wait to see her naked. l wonder if she's a natural blond.
Nothing worse than a blond with a big, black bush.
What the heck?
Not every guy was a pig.
Kind of girl l could marry and spend the rest of my life loving.
Never have those thoughts of Matt Damon...
...Jake Gyllenhaal in Jarhead, when he had that little Santa hat on--
Hey, where you going? What's wrong?
But it always ends up the same.
There must be some people who know about your talent.
The people closest to me.
But we never talk about it.
And l do my best to stay out of their heads.
Over the years, l've learned how.
It's kind of unethical...
...to listen in to my family and my friends, my boss.
But they know.
Other people suspect or they think l'm psychic.
Most people just think I'm crazy.
What does it sound like?
It's sort of like...
...a stream of consciousness.
Gets weirder when people are mad...
...or upset, and sometimes....
Sometimes it's just images.
I should be getting home.
Wow, l feel completely healed.
You are.
Do doctors know that V-juice can do this?
No.
We wanna keep it that way.
I should show you to your car.
-Look at this motherfucker. -What's up, Joe?
Sexy ass over there.
Hey, baby. Hey, baby.
Hey, big boy. What's up, you?
-They said they were. -Oh, no.
What's up, baby?
-l'm Terrell. -Tara.
Tara. All right, all right, all right.
So, what's a fine girl like you...
...doing sitting here all by herself?
I'm watching my fool cousin trying to hit on the straightest man here.
All right.
Well, baby, I am the straightest man here.
Really?
You can just ask any one of these honeys.
Look, l should tell you.
I'm married.
-Well, that's not a problem for me. -Well, my husband is a mercenary.
Yeah. Blackwater.
He just got back from assassinating some guys in lraq.
You making that shit up.
I wish I was. Because he ain't worth me, I can tell you that.
But if he ever caught me with another man...
...he'd kill us both.
I'm not sure who he'd kill first.
Probably me.
I hope so.
Bitch, you crazy.
He already shot one guy in the nuts just for buying me a CD.
Hell, no.
Fuck. Fuck.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-This how you wanna play, huh? -Yeah.
Yeah.
How old are you?
Am l allowed to ask that?
I was made a vampire in 1 865.
When I was 30 human years old.
Wow, you look older than that.
Life was harder then.
Were you in the Civil War?
I was.
Would you be willing to talk to my grandmother's club?
It's mostly a bunch of old people who had family in the war.
They call themselves the Descendants of the Glorious Dead.
The Glorious Dead?
There is nothing glorious about dying in a war.
Bunch of starving, freezing boys...
...killing each other so the rich people can stay rich.
Madness.
I'm sure it was awful.
Would it make you happy if I did this?
Oh, it would make my grandmother ecstatic.
Would it make you happy?
Well....
Yes.
I'll do it, then.
I look forward to meeting your grandmother.
When may l call on you?
I'm off work tomorrow.
Just after dark, then.
Sam's still up.
Well, that's creepy.
We never should have given them the vote...
...and legitimized their unholy existence.
The American people need to know these are creatures of Satan.
Demons, literally. They have no soul.
But, Reverend Newlin, you must be aware of polls...
...that show growing support for vampire rights.
Those polls are fixed.
Know how much money the monsters have given...
...to politicians of both parties? As well as corporate media?
Nonsense. Vampires don't seek to control human policy.
It's of very little interest to us.
-We want the same rights as humans-- -You can't trace it. lt's all been laundered.
Are you accusing my organization of criminal activity, sir?
I will not speak to her directly, Sharon.
-Why is that, Reverend Newlin? -My commitment to Christ Jesus...
...praise his name, compels me not to recognize her kind.
That's gonna make it difficult to have a dialogue.
I will not speak to her directly.
Okay.
Thank you, Sharon. Now, TBBN--
I don't think Jesus would mind if somebody was a vampire.
I don't either, honey.
Is this sausage different from what you usually make?
No.
It tastes so much more complex than it usually does.
Oh, dear, you think it's gone bad?
No, it's delicious. It's like l can close my eyes...
...and l can see the farm the pig lived on...
...and feel the sun and rain on my face...
...and even taste the earth that the herbs grew out of.
Hey, Miss Stackhouse.
Good morning, Tara.
No, you sit down.
-l'll make a new pot. -All right.
-You look awful. -Yeah.
I feel even worse.
-Can--? -Yes, you can take a shower here.
-And you can borrow some of my clothes. -Thanks.
Any news about Jason?
Yeah, we heard from Everly already. They let him go last night.
-l knew they would. -l didn't.
Well, l'm glad to see you're still alive.
You obviously did not hook up with that vampire last night.
-Sookie, sometimes you are just plain dumb. -Shut up.
Lucky Gran was in bed when l got in last night.
-Did he bite you? -No.
Are you sure? You know they can hypnotize you.
Yeah, and black people are lazy and Jews have horns.
You must be glad they let Jason go, huh, Miss Stackhouse?
I can't even believe that they arrested him to begin with.
I have a good mind to call Bud Dearborne and chew him out.
Jason's a good boy. Everybody knows that.
Hello.
Hey, Everly.
I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you last night.
Well, l'm sorry l been acting like l'm your mother.
I just worry about you, Sookie. You're basically my only friend.
Am l too late for breakfast? Hey, Tara.
Hey. Hey, Jason. I'm so glad they didn't lock you up.
Yeah. Me too.
I don't even know why they suspected me.
I think somebody heard I'd been with Maudette.
Had you?
-No. -Are you sure?
She was a woman.
That's funny. At least she was human.
You will never believe what happened.
-Hey, Jason. -Hey, Gran.
You sit down. I'll fix you breakfast.
-Yes. -What happened?
Well, apparently...
...a tornado touched down over at Four Tracks Corners.
It turned over that rent trailer in the clearing. You know the one?
And it killed that couple that's been staying in there.
Mack and Denise Rattray?
They were trapped under the trailer.
Mike Spencer said they were crushed to a pulp.
Well, Sookie Stackhouse.
-What are you doing here? -Sookie, you know Mike Spencer.
Of course. You buried my parents.
Yep. Got a new job. Parish coroner.
But l still run the funeral home.
That's gotta be convenient.
Sookie, this is still a restricted crime scene.
Why are you here?
When I heard what happened, I just had to come look.
What an awful thing.
You know, I did hear you weren't too fond of the Rattrays.
Where'd you hear that?
My niece is the emergency-room nurse in Monroe.
Says somebody busted up old Mack pretty bad last night.
-Everybody says that was you. -They were hurting a friend of mine.
This be that vampire I been hearing about?
The one who's living at the old Compton house?
The old Compton house?
-Across the field from where I live? -That's the one.
Your grandmother lets you associate with a vampire?
You can take that up with her.
I'm sure she'd love to know that somebody thinks she's not taking proper care of me.
The Rattrays were draining him.
Draining vampires is against the law, isn't it?
I was doing my civic duty by stopping them.
And now they're dead.
Yeah. Killed by a tornado.
Tornadoes hop. This one didn't land anywhere else.
And nobody around here heard or saw anything like a tornado last night.
Are you telling me you seriously think one man could do all this?
He's not a man.
They're not that different from you and me...
...if you bothered to get to know one.
Sookie, you're a good girl.
I hate to see you go down this path.
Well, lucky for you, Sheriff Dearborne, nobody's forcing you to watch.
Now, if y'all two rednecks will excuse me, l gotta go.
You know, he sleeps in the ground all day.
I don't think he's gonna even look at the rug.
I'm not doing this for him, I'm doing this for me.
So l can be proud of my home.
And how do you know where he sleeps?
I don't, actually.
What's that smell?
What smell?
It smells like rotten food or something.
You can't smell that?
Well, find it.
You can't smell this?
I better throw this out.
-Sookie. -Yeah?
Jason and Tara are coming over this evening as well.
-Gran. -Well, they invited themselves.
Jason said that he wants to meet the vampire for himself.
And Tara said she thought she ought to be here as well.
I don't know why everyone's getting their panties in a wad about some vampire.
Did you want to be alone with him?
I don't know.
Maybe.
Aren't you gonna tell me to be careful?
You're always careful, Sookie, about what counts.
And l can depend on that. Isn't that right?
Look, l'm just saying.
Do you want a vampire sucking blood out of you?
I'm just trying to get to know the man, that's all.
Because that's where it's gonna end up. Always does.
What do you know about vampires, anyway?
Yeah, l know a lot more than I care to.
Oh, please, Jason.
You ain't even got enough sense to pour piss out of a boot.
That's my beer.
You asked if l wanted anything to drink...
...and l said I'd have a beer.
And that's when you went to the fridge.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Here.
It's okay.
Bill, I don't like it when you do that.
I've upset you.
No.
Well, since you're here....
What's wrong?
You have to invite me in.
Otherwise it's physically impossible for me to enter a mortal's home.
Seriously?
Well, come on, try.
I can't. l can't even try.
That is so weird.
-Oh, Bill, won't you please come in? -Thank you.
So if I were to withdraw my invitation...
...would you have to leave?
I'll have to remember that.
Oh, my stars.
Of course. You don't--
I'm sorry.
Your people, Mr. Compton...
...they were from this area, l believe.
Yeah, my father's people were Comptons...
...and my mother's people were Loudermilks.
Oh, there are a lot of Loudermilks left.
But l'm afraid old Mr. Jesse Compton died last year.
Yes, ma'am.
That's why I came back to Bon Temps.
There were no living Comptons, so l've set up home in the old Compton place.
And as I expect the VRA to pass--
Yeah, l wouldn't be too sure about that if l were you.
A lot of Americans don't think you people deserve special rights.
They're the same rights you have.
No, I'm just saying there's a reason things are the way they are.
Yeah. lt's called injustice.
-Listen, it's called "this is how we do it." -Jason.
This is my house. I will not tolerate rudeness.
Did you know the Stackhouses, Mr. Compton?
Yes.
I remember Jonas Stackhouse.
He and his wife moved here...
...when Bon Temps was just a hole in the road.
I was a young man of 1 6.
Isn't this the house he built? I mean, at least in part?
Yes, it was.
Did you own slaves?
Tara.
I did not, but my father did.
A house slave...
...a middle-aged woman whose name l cannot recall...
...and a yard slave...
...a young, strong man named Minas.
Oh, this is just the sort of thing my club will be so interested in hearing about.
About slaves?
Well, about anything having to do with that time.
I look forward to speaking to your club, Mrs. Stackhouse.
Now...
...if it's all right with you...
...l thought that Sookie and l might take a walk.
It's such a lovely night.
Well...
...it's all right with me...
...if it's all right with Sookie.
-l don't think that's a good idea. -l don't think it's any of your business.
She's right, Jason.
Look, Gran, I am the man in this family--
You are a man in this family, but I am the oldest person here...
...and this is my house. You better respect me, boy.
Actually...
...l'm the oldest person here.
Shall we?
We shall.
Thanks for making me look like a fool in front of him, Gran.
Jason...
...you don't need any help looking like a fool.
I went to the Rattrays' trailer.
I told you l was strong.
I don't believe l fully gauged the extent of your strength.
Over the years, we become stronger...
...and more skillful at hiding what we've done.
You might wanna remember, for next time, tornadoes hop.
They don't just land in one place.
So l guess you've killed a lot of people.
I killed a few by accident at first.
I was never sure when I was gonna get my next feed.
But it's all different now.
There's Tru Blood.
I can get donor blood from a clinic in Monroe.
Or I can glamour someone into letting me feed on them for love...
...and then they'll forget all about it.
Did you feed on the Rattrays?
Yes.
After l'd given you my blood, while you were healing.
You drank a lot of my blood.
What'll that do to me?
Well, you'll have keener senses.
What else?
Your libido will be more active.
Is that it?
I'll always be able to feel you.
I'll be able to find you fast.
If you're ever in trouble, that could come in quite handy.
You're gonna have to give me a minute here, Bill.
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.
Of course.
I don't know why your grandmother was so short with you.
You're just trying to protect Sookie.
I hate it when people treat me like l ain't got a lick of sense.
Like l'm still just a kid...
...or, l don't know, in the way.
I know what that's like.
It sucks, that's what it's like.
You feel alone in the world, like nobody understands you...
...or even sees you.
Yeah. Sucks.
That ain't right...
...because everybody is, you know, somebody.
What?
We're all just trying to be-- Trying to be seen, to--
To matter.
Yeah.
You're right.
How'd you get to be so smart?
I'm not smart at all, Jason. I'm not.
I am constantly doing things l shouldn't and end up getting me in trouble.
-Yeah? -l'm a fucking idiot sometimes.
Well, can I tell you a secret?
I am too.
It's not that much of a secret.
-What? What? -Come here.
"Not that much of a secret."
Shit.
I was supposed to pick up Dawn from work.
Goddamn it.
She gonna be all pissed.
-Night, Gran. -Night, Jason. Drive careful.
Well, shit.
You said you could glamour somebody into letting you bite them?
What is that, hypnosis?
Kind of. It's similar.
All humans are susceptible to it.
-Have you done it to me? -No.
-And I never will. -Really?
Try it.
No.
-l don't feel comfortable with that. -You chicken?
Sookie.
Yes?
Can you feel my influence?
No, not a bit. Sorry.
Well, Sookie, this is very strange.
You don't like not being able to control people, do you?
It's not a very attractive trait, Bill.
Humans are usually more squeamish about vampires than you are.
Who am l to be squeamish about something out of the ordinary?
Sookie, Jason, y'all get out of the water, now.
How can our car insurance go up so much after just one ticket?
Damn it all to hell, I hate having to ask my mother-in-law for money again.
Damn what all to hell?
I can break open my piggy bank if you need some money.
Sookie, who told you we need money?
Mama.
Corbett, I swear, I haven't spoken a word.
Sookie, do you know why you're here?
Your parents, they're concerned about something that can't possibly exist.
But you and l are gonna put all this silliness to rest today.
Now, can you tell me what l'm thinking?
I'm thinking about the color red and the number nine.
The color red and the number nine.
The psychologist thinks that Sookie just reads our body language...
...and is highly observant, that's all.
Well, that's a relief.
That's bullshit.
Isn't it?
What's body language?
Why was that doctor so scared?
Because she was lying to me, that's why.
Because there is something to be scared of inside my little girl.
Oh, my God. She knows everything l'm thinking.
Oh, sweet Jesus. What do I do?
Poor child. She can't....
I was diagnosed with ADD.
They tried to put me on drugs, but my mama wouldn't let them.
She knew that wasn't it.
She tried to protect me, even though l scared her.
When did you lose her?
Just before l turned 8.
Both my parents.
Flash flood.
I lost my wife and my children.
Everyone I knew from my human life.
Most of them are buried here in this cemetery.
You really don't consider yourself human at all?
I'm not human.
Can you turn into a bat?
No.
There are those who can change form, but I'm not one of them.
-Can you levitate? -No.
-Turn invisible? -Sorry.
Well, Bill, you don't seem like a very good vampire.
What can you do?
I can bring you back to life.
This is where you live?
Since old Jesse Compton had no living heirs when he died...
...ownership reverts back to me.
I thought that wasn't for sure unless the VRA passes.
Well, l haven't been getting any trouble with the renovations I've been doing.
Although, of course, I've been doing them myself in the night.
I need an electrician, but I can't get anyone to return my calls.
Maybe if l made a few calls tomorrow...
...l could come by after work and tell you who to contact.
Thank you.
Take your clip out.
May I?
I can smell the sunlight on your skin.
I should see you home.
All right.
What's the matter, baby?
Don't you like me?
Oh, sure, l like you, Jason.
I wouldn't tie any old man up to my bed.
So call in sick. Sam won't mind.
One, Sam would mind.
And two, we've had sex, like, three times today.
At this rate, we're gonna burn out by the end of the week.
And then you're gonna get all weird and closed-off...
...and l've already been down that road with you, baby.
But l'm horny.
Well, l'll be back by midnight.
Hey, you're not-- You're not leaving me here like this.
You just better be happy that's all l'm doing to you, baby.
What?
What--?
You can just think of it as foreplay.
Foreplay, my-- Dawn!
Okay, this ain't funny, goddamn it.
Goddamn it!
Dawn!
Fuck!
Bitch.
-Hi. -Hey.
-Hey, Brett. -Hey.
Hey, sugar.
Make Mama another stinger, would you?
You listen to me, Jane Bodenhouse.
You're already drunk as a skunk.
Ain't no man in here gonna wanna take you home.
And Sam will have to call your son to come and get you, just like he always does.
Even though everybody knows it humiliates him to death.
Ain't you ashamed of yourself?
What'd you just say to me?
I said, any particular brand of cognac?
No. Whatever you have that's nice and cheap.
I told you where to buy your uniform.
Sam, how come you don't wear a uniform?
Because I own this place and wear what I want.
Well, how come Terry Bellefleur don't wear a uniform?
-Because-- -l've spent enough time in uniforms.
No, because you're a man.
And Sam don't feel the need...
...to sexualize the men in his employment the same way he do the women.
Okay.
You don't have to wear a uniform.
Thank you.
Remind me why l hired you, again.
Affirmative action.
Loaded skins and a pitcher of Bud. Is that it for y'all?
Yes, ma'am.
If you could serve them nachos off them perfect titties, we'd all be obliged.
Ain't nothing l like more than licking food off a girl's tits.
Okay, then. Ain't nothing l like more than licking food off a girl's tits.
And that's a fine ass too.
You wanna let go of the lady, you, or you want me to knock you into next week?
Damn, man, you're about to break my arm.
Apologize.
Sorry.
Maybe you and your friends should find someplace else to eat, yeah?
Let's go.
Don't look at me, you.
Rene, you should have let me handle that myself.
Merlotte's is a nice place. We all wanna keep it that way.
Besides, you remind me of my baby sister, you.
I hope to God somebody will stick up for her if some asshole ever does her that way.
Arlene, would you tell Rene thank you for helping me out with those jerks tonight?
I was so flustered I might have seemed ungrateful.
Please let me get my period tonight.
Even though Rene wants one of his own.
But l sure don't want him to feel like he's being forced into--
Did you just read my mind?
Sorry. l'm not very focused tonight.
My private thoughts are none of your business.
Sookie.
You wanna step into my office?
I swear, l try not to listen...
...but l can't always keep my guard up.
Is it true you can't hear the vampire's thoughts at all?
God, that's--
I mean, that must be very relaxing for you.
You know, not having to work so hard not to hear.
Yes.
Can you hear me?
-l don't wanna hear you. -Why not?
I'd have to quit if l read your mind, and I like it here.
-You don't have to quit. -Sam, I've had to leave...
...every job I've had because I could hear my boss's thoughts.
You might be surprised by what you find.
-Not all surprises are good. -Try sometime.
Now, listen...
...don't you worry.
You got a job here as long as you want one.
I should get back to work.
Baby girl, don't even let that get you down.
Don't let what get me down?
Don't let nothing get you down.
It's the only way to live.
-Ain't that right, Big John? -That's right.
Hey, how's Jason?
He's probably pretty pissed off at me right about now...
...but, hell, he probably deserves it.
I have to say, I'm surprised you and him got back together.
No more than I am, baby. Believe me.
Think it's gonna last?
-ls there a reason you wanna know, Tara? -No.
Ever since I been friends with Sookie...
...l've just gotten a kick out of watching Jason's escapades with women, you know.
Sort of.
God only knows what happened to my tables.
In other news...
...a tragic car crash in town has claimed three lives today....
Hey, turn it up.
Reverend Theodore Newlin, his wife, Yvette...
...and their 1 8-month-old daughter, Bethany.
All pronounced dead on arrival at Baylor University Medical Center.
There were a total of seven other casualties as well in the freak accident...
...apparently caused when a freeway sign....
Well, hey there, little human chick.
Hi. l'm here to drop off some information about an electrician for Bill Compton.
-ls he here? -Maybe.