-What the hell are you doing here? -Nothing. Sleeping.
-Did you touch me? -Hell no, l swear.
Sookie, listen. Bill asked me to look after you while he was away.
-Did he ask you to do it buck-naked? -No, no.
-l want you out of here. Now. -Listen, listen, Sookie.
I need to tell you something about me, something l've never told another person.
Oh, my God, it's you. You're the murderer.
-No, no, Sookie-- -Oh, my God, you killed my grandmother.
I'm not the killer, I swear.
I'm a shape-shifter.
Shut the fuck up.
What's that for?
-Give me your hand. -Why?
"Why, why, why? Why's it have to be in the woods?
Why's it have to be before dawn? Why 799.95?
Why, why, why?"
You think knowing the answers will save you?
Shut up and give me your hand.
You nasty bitch.
That's cleaner than anything you've ever touched.
Hold it over the fire. Keep it there.
Angelica root and spit.
A lot stronger than holy water. You got poison oozing out your pores.
-You live near a highway? -No.
Cook with a microwave or talk on a cell phone?
-Who doesn't? -l don't.
All that pollution and technology, that's how demons travel.
That's why I stay away out here in the woods, away from civilization.
-Rub it on your face. -Are you serious?
You make sure to get around your eyes.
That's the demon's doorways.
Drink.
-Jesus, what the hell is it? -Snake juice.
-lt's made from snakes? -No.
It snakes down in you, coils around that evil and rips it out.
All of it. Every last drop.
-Jason? -lf I were you...
...l'd get my filthy mind off of him.
What is it that you vampires say?
"Jason is mine."
It's not like that. He's a good person.
-Are you implying that I'm not? -Well....
Jason isn't planning to kill me after I'm no longer any use to him.
Sophomore year of college, l walked away from an academic scholarship...
...so l could go to this Guatemalan village, help build their first irrigation system...
...so they could have fresh water, crops that didn't give them dysentery.
So don't you dare get morally superior on me.
I am an organic vegan, and my carbon footprint is miniscule.
Because I know that, ultimately, we're all just a single living being.
But you are not.
-What the hell? -You got a clot forming.
There.
Okay, l need tape to keep it at that angle.
Jason, Jason, Jason.
I was half dead. He only tried to help.
He should've told me about this. Why wouldn't he tell me about this?
I won't tell him if you won't.
Withholding is tantamount to lying, and l can't have that in our relationship.
This is so beneath us.
Jason loves you. He never cared about anyone before.
-He even thinks that you might be the one. -You talk about me with him?
And he said that? He said that he thinks that I might be the one?
Amy, if l die here, Jason will never forgive you...
...even if he wanted to.
-He's not as evolved as you are. -l know.
A shape-shifter?
Most of us refer to ourselves simply as shifters.
Well, how many of you are there?
Thousands, tens of thousands, maybe. We don't exactly have a newsletter.
Do you come from, like, a family of shifters or something?
It's hereditary, so yeah, I suppose.
But...l was adopted.
And the family that took me in....
We just never talked about it.
Can you turn into anything, like cats, birds?
Cats, sure.
Yeah, l can do bird, but flying's hard.
Dog's the easiest for me.
People like dogs. Most other animals leave you alone.
I used to scratch your belly in the parking lot at the bar.
That wasn't me, that was a real dog.
I need a live animal in order to shift. You know, as a model.
-Kind of like an imprint. -Can you turn into another person?
Humans are too complex. Despite what you might see at the bar.
-Can you do it any time, or what? -Yeah.
Yeah, but it wears off if l fall asleep.
And on a full moon, I can't stop the shift.
-Like a werewolf. -We're not werewolves.
Hey, werewolves are dangerous, nasty creatures.
Do not call me a werewolf.
Werewolves exist too?
What else is there?
More than you could imagine.
I can't....
Life is just getting too weird, too fast.
Could a werewolf have killed Gran?
I suppose it's possible.
Oh, my God. Bill's been dragged off by vampires...
...and now I find out you're something I never even knew existed.
Don't!
-l thought you would understand. -Why? Because l'm dating a vampire?
-You know what it's like to live with a secret. -l don't hide who I am.
I've wanted to tell you for years.
I kissed you.
And l know you wanted to do more than that.
Were you gonna tell me before or after?
Spit, smoke, root.
Cleanse the body.
Cleanse the soul.
Snake, seek, search, find.
Bring it to the light.
The light.
-Fuck, my stomach. -lt's angry.
It's digging its claws so it can hold on. Don't you fight back.
Let your body be the battleground.
You let that demon destroy itself.
-l feel sick. -Let it go, let it go.
Let it go. Let go of all that sickness...
...all that rage, all that anger, all that hate, all that self-pity.
It's just fuel for the demon inside of you.
Fuck.
Come forth, demon. Leave this child in peace.
Come into the light. Show yourself.
-That ain't real. -What's there?
Tell me what you see.
It's me standing right over there.
It's me.
The demon will take on any form to stay alive.
It knows your weaknesses. It preys on your fears.
Only you can destroy it.
Don't let it fool you, Tara Mae. You stand up to that demon.
-No, Mama, please, don't hurt me. -One of you must die.
Good girl. Good girl, good girl.
Good girl. lt's all over now.
That demon is gone forever.
You spend more time on your hair than any man l've ever met.
The trick is to make it look like you didn't do nothing.
It's harder than it might seem.
I don't think you need any help looking good, you know it.
I think I might have had one too many beers last night.
I feel like I been shot at and missed, shit at and hit.
We need to talk about Eddie.
-Okay. -Well, l've been thinking.
The way that we've been treating him, it's just really uncivilized, you know?
Yeah. l do know.
We can't let him go, of course...
...but we can try to make things just a little bit more comfortable for him.
Do you know what Stockholm syndrome is?
It's a disease.
Not exactly. It's something that happens to people who are kidnapped.
It's like, over time, they start to get closer to their kidnappers.
It's kind of like being part of a family.
-Really? -All we need to do is make Eddie love us.
And he already loves you.
And eventually, we wouldn't have to keep him locked up.
He could just be in the house with us, like he's--
-Like a pet. -Yeah.
-And we could travel with him. -Yeah.
We could sell his blood when we need money.
And just live out of backpacks and see the whole world.
We just need boots and a map.
-l ain't never seen snow. -Tibet.
We can climb the Himalayas. We can visit the Dalai Lama.
And snowboard naked.
Right, I gotta go to the store. I wanna get Eddie some Tru Bloods.
Really?
I love you.
-l love you too. -l love you more.
Oh, my God.
You are even better looking than you were yesterday.
Mama. Mama, wake up.
Baby, where you been? I've been so worried.
I had the exorcism.
Tara, are you...?
It worked, Mama. lt worked.
Jesus answered my prayers. We're saved.
Both of us, saved. You did a brave thing, Tara Mae.
I am so proud of you, my baby.
My whole life, l thought you didn't.... I thought--
I forgive you.
Get dressed. I'm taking you out to celebrate.
Anywhere you wanna go.
How about Mamaw's Mudbugs over in Keachi?
-That too far to drive to? -Are you kidding?
I'd drive anywhere for you.
Sookie, could you reach me up another box of paper lanterns?
I'm kind of busy right now setting up your bar.
Thank you, Terry. You are so sweet and reliable.
I always know what to expect from you. No nasty surprises.
That's just because you don't know me very well.
Oh, Sam. These lanterns are just precious.
But they ought to alternate colors. Like boy-girl seating.
But they're already in place.
-Oh, it won't take a minute to change. -All right, Arlene.
Don't you think they should hang in little scallops, like a gingerbread house?
It'll be more romantic that way, not like some hick barn dance.
-What do you want it to look like? -A debutante ball.
Hug your neck. You know exactly what l'm talking about.
I'll be right back. Thank you, Sam.
How did you know what she wanted?
My cousin Portia was a deb in Shreveport when she turned 1 8.
Every Bellefleur woman's been doing it...
...since they started having them before the Revolutionary War.
It must be nice to come from such an old family.
All families are old, Sam. Some just keep better records.
Sam, hush that dog up.
What are you doing to get him so riled up?
Mitch, there's something's wrong with Sam.
Lord in heaven.
Sam. Sam.
Don't put the red ones next to the green ones. This ain't Christmas.
Hey, get that dog out of here.
Don't shut me out, please.
Georgia, your replacement just showed up.
"Thought you said you were gonna get rid of her quick."
Bitch, l love you, you scandalous whore.
Take your man. Take his ass.
--and company.
Shut up. Shut up and get back upstairs.
You better walk down them stairs like:
Oh, l forgot to tell you, Georgia. I saw the picture--
Well, this an unexpected pleasure.
-Hey. -Hey.
I can't stay long.
Boyfriend, l can make you stay longer than you ever thought you could.
-Actually, l had something else in mind. -What?
-A little V-juice? -Sold out.
What? Ain't nothing I can do.
My supplier only comes out after dark, if you know what I mean.
Damn it.
-l have a speech tonight. -You got stage fright?
Yeah.
I could help you with that.
You know I can.
I can't mess up my clothes.
I love how Mamaw's Mudbugs is exactly the same...
...as when we used to go there when l was little. Remember?
Yeah, until l lost my license.
First thing in the morning, I'm going down to DMV.
-What's wrong? -l don't know.
-Maybe one bucket was enough. -l told you not to suck the heads.
-Oh, good Lord in heaven. -Hold on.
I'll find us a drug store, get you some Pepto.
Excuse me. What aisle's the Pepto-Bismol on?
Aisle 7. Right over there.
I know you.
No, I'm sure you've mistaken me for someone else.
Miss Jeanette.
No. I'm needed up front, ma'am.
No, I know your face. Don't run away from me.
-Hey! -You took advantage of my mama.
-Don't touch me. -Don't touch you? I ought to kill you, bitch.
-l will call the police. -Go ahead.
Tell them how you charged me $800 to spit in my face and poison me.
-You know what? l'll call them myself. -Wait, wait.
What was in that shit you gave me, that snake juice?
Ipecac syrup and a small amount of peyote. It's perfectly safe.
I puked my guts out. I hallucinated stabbing a little girl.
-What the fuck kind of person are you? -Look.
I got a son in prison, another one in lraq.
I got a daughter with diabetes, and three grandbabies I gotta take care of.
I do what l have to for my family. Same as you.
I actually believed you had fixed me.
Oh, my God, I am such a fucking dumb-ass.
Listen.
Just because Miss Jeanette ain't real doesn't mean she can't help people.
You saw how it worked for your mama.
She still sober?
Once she finds out about you, she'll be drinking again.
Well, maybe she don't have to find out.
Faith's a powerful thing.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
-You get something for me? -They're out.
I'd ask you to dance, but I don't dance.
Thanks anyhow, Terry.
Sometimes, crowds makes me feel guilty for not having fun like everyone else.
And then I feel guilty for feeling guilty.
Guilt is a useless emotion.
Or so l've heard.
I just wish Bill was here.
There's some dead people I wish was still around too.
-l want it! -Me!
Idiot. You fed on a human that belonged to another.
Three months of starving till your fangs grow back...
...will teach you better manners.
Brothers and sisters of the tribunal, is this fair? ls this just?
Yeah.
Now, Luisa, the other one, please. From the root.
Sentence passed and executed.
The trial is concluded. Best of luck.
Moving on. This looks interesting.
Eric Northman, sheriff of Area 5.
-Magister. -Well, then.
Bring me your murderer.
It's nice not to have to sneak it to you no more, ain't it?
-Yeah, it is surprising. -See? I told you Amy wasn't a psycho.
The more time you spend with us, you'll see she's an amazing woman.
What made her change her mind?
Well, she wants you to live with us, like part of the family.
I do too.
She tell you about finding the Tru Bloods you brought me?
You're lying.
Well, what did she say?
She said that withholding was tantamount to lying...
...and that your relationship was better than that.
Fuck.
God, that even sounds like her.
-She's playing you, Jason. -No, she is not.
Ain't nobody plays Jason Stackhouse.
If you don't let me go, she's going to kill me.
-She would never do that. She's a-- -Psychopath?
-Jason, we're late. -Yeah, I'm coming.
Bye-bye, Eddie. We'll see you in a few hours.
I was thinking we could bring one of the TVs down here.
Does that sound good?
Come on.
You're wrong about her.
Eddie, where you at?
I'm at your crib. The door was wide open. This is fucked up as fuck.
Call me when you get this message, bitch.
Jason fucking Stackhouse, you bigmouth motherfucker.
Honey, let me set a spell. I'm sweating all over this dress.
What, you won't dance with me? That's a fine thing at your own fais do-do.
Go ask Sookie to dance. The poor thing's got nobody here.
Everyone's afraid of her.
Go on.
-Y'all having a good time? -You look lonely as a cloud. Ain't right.
Why, thank you, Rene. Arlene is a lucky lady.
-Not everybody likes a coonass like me. -l do. So does Bill.
I don't have nothing against vampires, you know that.
But you're a good girl, Sookie. I think you deserve better.
Mind if I cut in?
Okay, truce?
It's not fair you being mad about something I can't help.
I'm mad that you didn't trust me enough to tell me.
You hid the most important thing about yourself.
So what? You're with Bill now.
Yeah, and you're with Tara. Another thing you didn't tell me.
-There's nothing to tell. -Oh, does she know that?
-Or the fact that you can turn into a dog? -lt's none of her business.
And you know what, l didn't tell you because l knew this is how you'd react.
But you're right. I didn't trust you.
I trusted my instincts, and they were dead-on.
I think I'll get another beer.
-Do you guys--? You want one? -Oh, no.
-Babe? -Oh, no. I'm fine.
You know, I think she's my favorite girl you ever dated.
-Where'd you meet her at? -lt's kind of embarrassing.
Fangtasia.
-What? The fuck you doing there? -The vampire bar?
The only reason I went there was because there was this band playing that l like.
You one brave motherfucker going there to see them play.
It's just a bunch of losers wearing black.
Amy and l could tell by looking at each other we didn't belong there.
Then one thing sort of led to another.
Never did see the band.
-Oh, God, l wanna be you. -So is this it?
She the one who's gonna take Jason Stackhouse off the market for good?
I don't know.
Now, what you waiting for?
Life is short. You find a good one, you keep her.
You're right. l never felt this way about any girl before.
I think that's maybe why....
I think I lost the upper hand in the relationship, you know?
That sucks.
What sucks?
-You take it back. -Take it back?
Take it back.
You just say, "Woman, this is what l want.
This is the way it's gonna be."
And if she don't like it, deep down she'll respect you. She can't help it. It's her DNA.
-Well, well, now I want to be you. -Fuck you.
Hey, and if she don't respect you?
She ain't someone that you wanna be with anyway.
Okay?
-He's right. -l've been keeping an eye on you, Hoyt.
That is your third beer, and that is two too many.
You set that down. Right now.
You know, I plan on having about six more beers.
And enough tequila to drown a Mexican sea captain, woman.
Excuse me.
Longshadow was choking the girl and would have killed her.
So you murdered a higher life form for the sake of your pet.
You broke an ancient and fundamental law.
You decreased our numbers at a critical time in our history.
Very bad.
Very, very bad.
Magister, Longshadow broke the law first.
She was mine and he knew it.
-He would have killed her and fed from her. -Hello, human.
Irrelevant.
Happens every day.
He was stealing from Eric.
Sheriff?
Yes, Magister, it's true.
Longshadow was a thief and a liar.
He was hurting my business.
The business part, that is a serious offense.
And it was the human who exposed Longshadow.
Would you tell him, Eric?
The only reason the girl was there...
...was because l called her.
To protect your wealth.
To protect my wealth, yes.
Magister, she is...valuable.
Humans exist to serve us. That is their only value.
There are those among us who think differently.
Do you question my authority?
I am the Magister. I was trained in the Inquisition...
...and l am the adjudicator for every vampire territory in North America.
As the humans say, the humans you love more than your own kind:
Back your shit down.
Bill.
Well, you haven't bored me.
That works in your favor.
And you seem to be obedient to your sheriff.
For the most part.
When it matters, yes, he is.
The usual sentence is five years in a coffin chained with silver.
During which time your body will waste to leather and sticks.
You'll probably go insane.
However...
...l'm feeling a bit...
...creative.
You know what l love most about Rene?
Aside from his fine little Cajun butt.
He's good to the kids.
He's good to me.
All the rest were fixer-uppers.
But Rene, he's solid all the way to the foundation.
I can count on him.
And l've never had that in all my life.
I know what you mean.
I mean, l never knew l could have something like what I have with Jason.
I'm not about to let anything destroy that.
I don't know how anyone can trust anybody these days.
They're always keeping things from you.
You don't even know who people are or what they are.
Well, you know what l love about Jason? Everything is just right there on the surface.
You never have to wonder what he's thinking.
Yeah, because he ain't thinking.
-Hey, girlfriends, what's up? -Tara, you look-- You look great.
Prom night, 2000. l ain't wore it since.
Well, it still fits you.
Tara, come here.
I've never seen you like this. Is this because of Sam?
I saw you. ln his office.
-Why didn't you tell me? -lt's none of your business.
I'm just not sure that dating Sam is such a good idea.
Well, at least he doesn't drink my blood.
Sookie. Sookie.
-Oh, hey, Andy. You want a beer? -l don't drink.
Okay.
Had me a very interesting conversation...
...with a man at the naked community over in Beaumont.
That's right, l already told you. Last night.
Before you ran off to avoid talking to me.
What's your story, Merlotte? Who's your people?
I was adopted.
That's the truth.
At 1 5, I was on my own.
Fifteen, huh? Where'd you go?
Who took you in?
I need to know what your life was before you bought up property in Bon Temps...
...and women started getting killed.
Mom?
Sam. Sam.
Where the hell did you come from?
I come from exactly the same place everybody else comes from, Andy.
I been checking up on you.
You got no records before you moved here. Nothing.
No taxes, no social security, no credit card bills, no previous address.
-Jesus fuck, Andy. -Shit.
Don't you ever get tired of being in everybody's way?
-l'm gonna have to pay for dry-cleaning. -Hey, baby.
Whoa, hey. Look at you.
Listen.
I have a situation.
A very serious situation.
And l need your help with it. Right now.
I'm here on official police business...
...and we're in the middle of a conversation.
Well, let me wrap it up for you.
He doesn't know anything. He didn't do anything.
And he doesn't give a shit.
Come on, Sam.
How much have you had to drink?
Quit acting like my damn boss and just fuck me, please.
Hey, did you have that exorcism?
-Can't you be a normal guy and go with it? -Because I'm not a normal guy.
-Well, who the fuck cares? -Damn it, Tara.
I'm a person. l'm not a prop for you to use every time you need to feel better.
-Sam, please. I'm not right. -You're not the only one with demons.
Well, what the fuck do you want from me?
I don't want a goddamn thing from you.
I don't want nothing from nobody.
I told you to keep your goddamn mouth shut.
Hey. This is my good shirt.
And yeah, I kept my mouth shut.
My supplier, he gone. He fucking missing.
If other vampires find out I been selling, the same shit is gonna--
You understand? The same shit is gonna happen to me.
You got nothing to worry about.
Bitch, you think life is just this one fucking game that you always win...
...no matter how many dead folk are piling up around you.
Maudette. Dawn. Your grandma.
And l tell you one fucking thing: I ain't gonna be next, bitch.
On my mama grave, motherfucker. I ain't gonna be next.
Fucking....
You have no nest.
You prefer to consort with humans.
You seem to have lost all sense of our priorities.
William Compton, you owe us a life.
No.
Oh, precious Jesus, God, save me, save me.
Make it all a dream.
Put me in the coffin, Magister.
-l will go willingly. -Please, it's the first time l ever snuck out.
I just wanted to go to Ashley's party.
I only ever get to go to youth choir and prayer group.
You take me home, I won't say a word to Mama and Daddy or anybody.
Please, please, just please help me.
There's no help for you, child.
Meet your Maker.
Please don't let them kill me.
Please. I don't want to die.
Honey, you seen Sam? We're out of ice.
I'll get it.
I could use a break from all this anyhow.
Well, thanks for having such a great time at my party.
Hello.
That's not funny.
Sookie, it's me. Sookie. Hey. Hey.
He's in here. He almost--
What, what?
No, no, no, please, please don't leave me.
-Don't leave me. Please don't leave me. -Okay, okay, okay, l won't.
-l won't. I promise. -Don't leave me.
What the fuck?
If you wanted to feed him, we should've talked about it first.
I don't need your fucking permission.
Jason, if we don't trust each other, how is he ever gonna trust us?
This ain't a game, I don't want him ending up dead.
Oh, God, Jason, come on. He's gonna kill us.
No, he won't.
I'm gonna let him go, don't even try to fucking stop me.
-Jason-- -No, please, don't.
Get out of here! Goddamn.
-Please, hurry. -Yeah, I'm coming.
-Please. -l'm coming.
People telling me what l can and can't--
Fuck.
If you want to torture anyone, torture me.
Torture? This?
I don't think so.
I could show you torture, if you like.
No.
No, I was wrong to speak.
You can quit stalling.
What you see in this cow, Mr. Compton...
...is merely a response to stimuli.
Humans are quite...
...primitive...
...incapable of feeling pain as we do.
But you know that.
Luisa.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want....
I can't remember what's next.
According to our records, you have never been a Maker, is that right?
Yes.
But you know the procedure?
Yes.
Then proceed.
Are you a Christian?
I was.
I'm a good girl.
Jesus will take me home to heaven.
What's your name?
Jessica.
Look at me, Jessica.
You're safe now.
Look in my eyes.
Everything will be fine.
I hate to interrupt...
...but glamour is not permitted.
-She's just a girl. -You are boring me.
Shut up and do as you're told.
-lt's all right. It's all right. -No, let go.
No, no. Let go of me! No!
Stop it! Stop! No!
No!