1
00:00:24,205 --> 00:00:27,233
Hello, Alexander. It's Stuart.
2
00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:28,540
Hello, Stuart.
3
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:35,479
You know, admitting I've had lots to drink
and that, but I can't help reflect—
4
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,950
I'm Alexander, the bloke
in the glasses driving,
5
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,600
not the mumbly one on the tape.
That's Stuart.
6
00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:48,400
I got to know Stuart in 2000 and
decided to write his biography.
7
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:52,199
All my friends said it was mad.
I mean, after all this man was unknown,
8
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,410
he wasn't famous, not a celebrity,
but the book turned out okay.
9
00:00:58,535 --> 00:01:01,300
Just wish Stuart could
have been here to see it.
10
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,450
I think it was the first ever biography
of a homeless man.
11
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,390
From birth to the present day.
12
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,050
So, back in 2000 I was earning
a bit of extra pocket money
13
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,300
working as a fundraiser
at Wintercomfort,
14
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:32,500
which is a busy little day shelter in Cambridge,
normally full of homeless people.
15
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:38,300
Full, that is, until the morning that
the police decided to raid the place.
16
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,400
They've been arrested.
17
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:41,700
All of them?
18
00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:43,200
What a good idea.
19
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,300
Uh, no, no. It was, um,
just my boss, Ruth,
20
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and um, her deputy, John.
21
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:56,000
Some of the clients have been secretly
dealing drugs on the premises
22
00:02:56,002 --> 00:02:58,875
but because Ruth and John ran the charity,
they were held responsible.
23
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,350
They've got evidence, on film.
24
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,300
I was furious at the injustice of it.
25
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,100
And, uh, then really, for the
first time in my life
26
00:03:11,101 --> 00:03:14,000
I actually began to take a real and
practical interest in the homeless.
27
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,500
Fuck off, pisshead!
28
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,900
I'd like to introduce to you Alexander Masters,
29
00:03:22,010 --> 00:03:25,520
a dedicated friend of the homeless himself,
chairman of the campaign.
30
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,500
Oh, we were convinced
they'd never be convicted.
31
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:35,900
I mean, if prisons can't control drugs then
how could Ruth and John be expected to?
32
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,999
As everyone knows, we're here this evening
about Ruth Wyner and John—
33
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:45,200
The judge, Justice Howarth, sent them down—
—for five years, and four years.
34
00:03:45,510 --> 00:03:47,000
- Shame.
- Thank you.
35
00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:49,300
- Fascist.
- Thank you.
36
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,450
But this is the crunch,
what are we going to do about it?
37
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,400
How is this campaign going to
get Ruth and John out?
38
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:58,800
- Yes?
- We could send them books.
39
00:03:58,870 --> 00:04:01,000
Bunyan, he's good for prisons.
40
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,480
Hardly. Miracle of the Rose,
by Genet, if you must.
41
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:08,800
Excuse me, this isn't gonna work.
42
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:15,400
Sending them books, eh?
It won't fit in the box.
43
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:19,400
- Sorry?
- The inmate's belongings.
44
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,700
Everyone's got one.
45
00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:30,500
- Who is that?
- No idea. They all look the same to me.
46
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:34,950
—you're also allowed a piece of carpet
what won't fit in your box,
47
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:40,700
and a budgie
or, or a canary,
48
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,985
and obviously the cage is not
going to fit in the box.
49
00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:49,800
But, it is Ruth and John what will suffer.
50
00:04:56,500 --> 00:05:03,500
All of them books, the screws will just chuck them out
because they won't fit in your box.
51
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:10,200
I'm not being funny, but you should really know
about boxes if you're gonna have a campaign.
52
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:21,600
Me name's Psycho, but you can
call me Stuart, if you like.
53
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:28,750
- Um, what's your address?
- Umm... 2 Laurel Lane.
54
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:40,250
Yeah, they help me: doctors, a couple clothes,
outreach, sometimes lunch with two puddings.
55
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:46,150
Yeah, they put it all on,
those two. And the staff.
56
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:52,400
I'm not being funny, yeah,
but I am really grateful.
57
00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:58,500
- The other day I got a really [indiscernible].
- Oh, great.
58
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,010
- Can I help?
- Yeah, uh, yeah.
59
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,500
That's how I first met Stuart Shorter.
60
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:12,480
Street brawler, alcoholic, a heroin addict,
sociopathic street raconteur with a fondness
61
00:06:12,481 --> 00:06:17,950
for what he called "little strips of silver".
Knives, to you and me.
62
00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:36,250
- Thank you very much for agreeing to store these.
- Oh, no problem.
63
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:48,700
Mind the step. Oh, dear.
Here you go, mate.
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00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,850
Welcome to my humble abode.
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00:06:54,000 --> 00:07:00,200
2 Laurel Lane.
Well, they are laurels, aren't they?
66
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:07,500
I only heard about the meeting this morning
when I was picking up my breakfast.
67
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,900
- Your address?
- Mm-hm.
68
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:19,200
A bad idea, number one, mate. You could get
any old riff-raff showing up. Oh, dear, dear.
69
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,300
Yes?
70
00:07:33,00 --> 00:07:33,800
It's you.
71
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,900
I've addressed some envelopes.
72
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:45,500
- Which, uh...
- They alright?
73
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,400
Horrible.
74
00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:54,550
I've had a blinding idea for the campaign.
Yeah, get us on television and all.
75
00:07:54,990 --> 00:07:59,850
Not even violent, if we leave
out the kidnapping.
76
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,500
- Do you want to come in?
- Oh, yes please.
77
00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:09,800
It's a bit wet out there.
78
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:13,200
Ooh, that's nice.
79
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:34,200
- How many sugars?
- As many as you got, mate.
80
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,600
H—hot.
81
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,200
All them books.
82
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,500
Have you read all of them?
83
00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:25,500
No.
84
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:26,900
Half?
85
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:30,000
Not exactly.
86
00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:35,500
The Hunting Wasp.
87
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:39,200
A whole book about them little summer things.
88
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:48,600
This one.
What is this one about?
89
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:51,500
The colour mauve.
90
00:09:57,210 --> 00:10:00,250
How do you fucking get away with this?
91
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:13,500
Now, this blinding idea.
92
00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:15,700
Have you got a car?
93
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:17,800
No.
94
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:24,400
What do you like better: Volvo or VW?
95
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:34,600
And then a few weeks later I had the idea about
the book and started doing a little research.
96
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:39,400
That boy has suffered. He deserves a book.
97
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,300
You should write a book about me.
98
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,100
Always such a caring boy.
99
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,100
Happy-go-lucky little thing.
100
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,000
Legs all over the show, bless him.
101
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,499
Three months after that we carried
out Stuart's blinding idea
102
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:58,999
which was a sleep-over protest
in front of the home office
103
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:03,200
to persuade the then Home Secretary,
Jack Straw, to release Ruth and John.
104
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,600
Which was better than his first idea,
which was to kidnap him.
105
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:12,300
Stuart took care of our transport.
Somehow.
106
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,460
And on the way to London I read him
the first few pages of my book idea.
107
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:23,700
"Stuart Clive Shorter was a happy-go-lucky little boy,
'the most considerate of my children', marvels his mother."
108
00:11:23,990 --> 00:11:26,500
Bollocks!
Boring!
109
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,200
Why do you want to write
this fucking book anyway?
110
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,050
To make lots and lots and lots of money.
111
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,450
Seriously? You think you can
make money out of it?
112
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,100
Could, maybe.
113
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,900
Something as boring as that?
114
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,550
Don't be so rude. Anyway, it's not my
fault that you started out so dull.
115
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,100
You got make it more exciting.
116
00:11:48,110 --> 00:11:53,900
Do it backwards. Like a murder mystery.
Like a best-seller.
117
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,990
You know, like what Tom Clancy writes.
118
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,800
Yeah! How'd I get to be like this?
119
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:02,350
What murdered the little boy I was?
120
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,100
Make them nine-to-five sit up.
121
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:19,750
I mean, you put ten socks in the washing
machine and only seven come out.
122
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,500
Where do they go?
123
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,750
- Stuart?
- I'll tell you another thing and all—
124
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,990
- Stuart?
— You take the machine apart and it ain't in it neither.
125
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:26,990
- Stuart?
- What?
126
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,990
- What's this?
- What?
- This.
127
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:35,100
That, Alexander, is a lice.
128
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:44,350
The main place you get those
is around your bollocks.
129
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:49,400
That lice, that'll grow.
130
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:59,000
Scabies are smaller and they go under the
skin and live there, literally nibbling.
131
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:07,000
It took five and a half hours for our convoy
to do the 50 miles from Cambridge to London.
132
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,000
Stuart would never drive
above 30 miles an hour.
133
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,800
Hey, Buckingham Palace.
134
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:19,800
What a load of bollocks! Huh!
135
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,850
Who needs a queen?
136
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,300
- Oh, no, no, no, no. No, not like that.
- What?
137
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:40,600
Use this, right? Underneath, yeah?
Here you are.
138
00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:44,800
You lose more heat that way
than you do that way.
139
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:49,090
Ruth and John need these:
eyes on the back of their heads!
140
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,900
End [indiscernible] police state now!
141
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,500
People are being wrongfully imprisoned
for working in a charity
142
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,930
and doing nothing but trying
to help the homeless.
143
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:02,850
Charity workers in prison because
of a miscarriage of— oh, fuck off.
144
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:21,475
Charity workers in prison because
of a miscarriage of justice.
145
00:14:21,482 --> 00:14:22,500
Okay, listen up, everyone!
146
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,800
Okay, everyone! Listen up!
Everyone, please. Quiet, please!
147
00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:29,500
Everyone, we need you to move this way,
thank you.
148
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:31,900
Wait a minute, hold on, hold on. Why?
This is a peaceful protest.
149
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:32,999
Yeah! Fucking why?
150
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:35,999
You can't cross these brass flags if
the Home Office doesn't want you to.
151
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:36,999
That's social fucking fascism, that is!
152
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,200
And then we must put a fence in behind
you to ensure you're not trespassing
153
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:44,700
and ones on either side to protect you.
- What?
154
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:49,990
From the public, sir. They might step on
you. And a fence in front just in case
155
00:14:49,991 --> 00:14:52,355
during the night you roll onto
the road and get run over.
156
00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:54,600
Oh, I see. So you mean
to cage us in completely.
157
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:58,380
I didn't say cage, sir, no.
That was your word.
158
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,800
Do prisoners really get wages?
159
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,600
Yeah.
160
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,800
You mean a lot like normal people?
161
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,500
Yeah, make a fucking fortune.
162
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,250
Millionaires coming out of the nick
every week.
163
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,800
You've been in a lot of prisons then?
164
00:15:28,990 --> 00:15:31,800
Have I? Fucking hell.
165
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,900
How many?
166
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,700
Well, um...
167
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:49,300
Well, start off, when I was a nipper
there was Send Detention Centre,
168
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,350
Baintnow House, back to Send again,
169
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:59,000
Eriestoke, Norwich,
170
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:03,800
then I grew up and went to big boy prison.
171
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:11,300
Whitemoor. Aw, now that's
what I call a real prison.
172
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,100
You got everything there, mate:
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00:16:13,150 -->00:16:23,900
terrorists, psychopaths, security threats,
murderers, manslaughters, crazies...
174
00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:25,300
Which lot do you belong to?
175
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:32,200
Crazies, really.
Mm, yeah.
176
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:36,300
Norwich, Whitemoor again.
177
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:41,400
Grendon Underground.
178
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,700
Thirty-one.
179
00:16:47,500 -->00:16:49,700
I don't think I've missed any.
180
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:57,200
Oh yes, I have actually!
I've been to Leicester three times as well.
181
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,100
Wayland was me last one.
182
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,100
Good night. Sleep well.
183
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,350
Thank you. Same to you.
184
00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:19,050
Oi, you. Since you got so much
fucking time on your hands, yeah,
185
00:17:19,051 --> 00:17:24,750
answer this one: do you know how many people
186
00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:29,900
get killed by screws in prison every year?
Murders.
187
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:35,200
Oh, sorry, Gov. Excuse us, how was we
supposed to know that bending him in half
188
00:17:35,201 --> 00:17:39,000
the wrong fucking way was bad for his health?
189
00:17:39,005 --> 00:17:43,990
It was only people like me what is
really rotten, isn't it? Really bad.
190
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:49,200
Beyond hope. You haven't got the faintest
fucking clue, have you? Huh?
191
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,750
- Yeah, all he said was "Good night".
- You can fuck off and all you fucking geeky—
192
00:17:53,751 --> 00:18:01,200
- Oh, shut up yourself, Stuart.
- You fucking wanking middle class cunt fuck, Alexander.
193
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:07,500
You want to know how I became what I am?
I'm giving you fucking answers!
194
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:13,830
Why don't you write a book
with no fucking answers, eh?
195
00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:22,000
Go on, you fuck off.
You find your fucking answers.
196
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:43,900
On a scale of anger, one to ten,
I'm probably on four and Stuart's on eleven.
197
00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:46,600
You never can tell...
198
00:18:46,950--> 00:18:50,350
how families have been down and they've
been up then they've been down again.
199
00:18:50,351 --> 00:18:53,700
You just like Stuart, you know?
200
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,600
Drugs, prison, being a beggar.
201
00:18:59,990 --> 00:19:00,700
Go on, go on.
202
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,350
Yeah, mate.
203
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,600
- Bastards!
- Morning.
204
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,250
Like the taste of piss, eh?
205
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,800
You bastards.
206
00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:22,800
Someone smells nice.
207
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,750
After three months of preparation.
208
00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:31,495
I mean, who's bloody stupid idea was it that
we camp out over the weekend anyway,
209
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,700
the one time Mr. Straw's not going to be there?
210
00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:36,675
- I bet it was yours.
- Oh, fuck off.
211
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,050
- Oh, I like this song.
- This is a good song.
212
00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:11,400
Still, one blimey thing did
come out of that weekend:
213
00:20:12,450 --> 00:20:15,200
Stuart's idea that his life should
be written backwards.
214
00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:29,300
It was cutting me throat what done it.
215
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,370
Put a beer glass into me neck.
Just lost it.
216
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:46,570
Sometimes you wouldn't believe how
hard it is to fucking die.
217
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,250
So, you got a council for that,
because you tried to kill yourself?
218
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,900
Works a trick for the old housing
points, doesn't it?
219
00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:57,850
Whoosh! Straight to the top of the list.
220
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,950
It's not all gone though.
221
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,500
What's not all gone?
222
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000
The hatred.
223
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:12,200
I got so many enemies.
Up here, mate.
224
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:16,250
Somebody's going to get hurt though,
that's what scares me.
225
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,700
When's this thing going to happen?
226
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,300
I call it me "black mists".
227
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:28,800
Next week? Next month?
Next ten seconds?
228
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,750
That is lovely bit of workmanship.
229
00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:11,550
That's value. That's value.
230
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:19,200
Oh my God.
This for the series.
231
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,950
For my son.
232
00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:39,700
You've got a son!?
233
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:44,500
Yeah. In Glasgow with his mum.
234
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,500
Fourteen years of age to mind.
235
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:52,200
Always out on the golf course,
the little 'un.
236
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,500
Not bad there, mate.
Not better than Laurel Lane.
237
00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:20,520
Wine always smells like sick.
238
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,150
Here, have a beer.
240
00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:30,010
Fancy something to eat?
241
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:05,000
So why do you want to be a writer, then?
242
00:24:05,250 --> 00:24:09,550
Oh, I don't know, really. Bit like a
disease, all my family's got it.
243
00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:12,100
Didn't want to be left out, did I?
244
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,450
Nah. I know what you mean, mate.
245
00:24:15,100 --> 00:24:17,070
Me dad is a thief,
246
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,500
and, um, me mum's a barmaid.
247
00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:24,350
What's the colour orange highlighter
in your diary for?
248
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,700
Family stuff.
249
00:24:29,820 --> 00:24:30,845
Yellow?
250
00:24:30,850 --> 00:24:32,150
Social.
251
00:24:38,850 --> 00:24:45,250
Now, uh, this book
that you're writing about me,
252
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,700
is it just to make your name?
253
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,500
And yours.
254
00:24:54,800 --> 00:25:00,000
I've, uh, had an idea for a job, too.
255
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:07,000
For the foreign businessman what
doesn't have time to waste,
256
00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:10,000
what does he need?
257
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:16,500
An office... in a van.
258
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,520
It's lateral thinking, isn't it?
259
00:25:22,950 --> 00:25:26,980
Gets off the plane at Stansted,
straight into the back of me van.
260
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:30,150
That will have everything:
261
00:25:31,500 --> 00:25:34,450
good-looking bird what can do shorthand,
262
00:25:34,750 --> 00:25:42,250
fax, internet, wires all over the
fucking gaff. It's brilliant.
263
00:25:43,020 --> 00:25:45,450
Red sauce or brown?
264
00:25:45,670 --> 00:25:48,150
Oh, yes please.
I mean, uh, red.
265
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,200
- What—What's—
- Oh yeah, that fella upstairs
266
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:59,200
is gonna make me a bed what folds up against
the wall, like what James Bond has.
267
00:25:59,420 --> 00:26:02,959
- Ooh.
- Yeah. It's got to have, um,
268
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:08,825
springs and latches on the floor
otherwise it's boing, boing, whoosh!
269
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:11,000
Boing, boing, whoosh?
270
00:26:11,550 --> 00:26:16,950
You know what I mean, bird's not going
to be too happy if she gets her face
271
00:26:16,951 --> 00:26:20,350
squeezed up against the plaster, is she?
272
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,400
Hey.
273
00:26:27,750 --> 00:26:28,700
Sorry.
274
00:26:30,300 --> 00:26:35,000
Good stuff, that. You can use it with anything.
275
00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:44,500
See that right by the bed? This should be a
huge stain where I overdosed there last week.
276
00:26:44,501 --> 00:26:52,000
And all the spilled cans and vomit. That
cleaned it up really, really well, actually.
277
00:26:53,400 --> 00:27:02,250
But you want to, um, you want to leave it, uh,
for about... about a week before you vacuum.
278
00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:31,000
Here you are, mate.
279
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,515
Careful, yeah? It's a bit hot.
280
00:27:50,470 --> 00:27:53,150
I never asked you why you were in prison.
281
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,750
The last time—
Stupid things.
282
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:04,500
Me mate, Smithy, well bubblegum chap,
283
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,100
I'm not being funny, he's in the
Guinness Book of Records.
284
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,150
1983 edition, as it goes.
285
00:28:14,100 --> 00:28:17,200
Like brothers fighting the world.
286
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:22,200
Respect, trust, and honour.
287
00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:31,100
Go, go, go, go, go!
288
00:28:33,050 --> 00:28:33,600
Right.
289
00:28:41,150 --> 00:28:42,250
Ow.
290
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:56,900
- Oh, fuck. Did you get menthols?
- Menthols? Fuck off.
291
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,950
- She'll fucking kill me. She asked for menthols.
- Well, give her the vodka.
292
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,395
She don't want vodka, she wants menthols!
293
00:29:14,150 --> 00:29:15,900
Go, go, go, go, go!
294
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,900
Aw, I don't believe it!
These aren't fucking menthols either!
295
00:29:19,950 --> 00:29:23,370
They're just in a green packet.
I've got ten packets of green cigarettes.
296
00:29:27,415 --> 00:29:29,000
Hurry up.
297
00:29:29,500 --> 00:29:31,000
25 quid, 60!?
298
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:36,670
Women! They think they can boss you
about in everything, don't they?
299
00:29:36,830 --> 00:29:42,000
And one day, Smithy got a tip-off.
300
00:29:46,100 --> 00:29:49,250
- 20,000 quid?
- Just keeps it under the counter.
301
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,100
Not a cop shop in 20 miles.
302
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:56,300
Fucking— That's fucking irresponsible.
303
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:58,900
No pride of ownership.
304
00:30:04,850 --> 00:30:06,000
Go, go, go, go, go!
305
00:30:10,500 --> 00:30:11,500
Right.
306
00:30:21,300 --> 00:30:26,950
Let's just say it was funny because
as soon as we was sent down,
307
00:30:26,955 --> 00:30:30,600
Smithy's missus moved in with the
fella what told us about the job.
308
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,400
Five years.
309
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,000
Pretty steep sentence.
Were you armed?
310
00:30:40,001 --> 00:30:41,500
No.
311
00:30:47,550 --> 00:30:49,125
Only with a crowbar.
312
00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:05,250
Hey, Alexander? You wanna stay for tea?
313
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,150
Me favourite, "convict curry".
314
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,950
We used to make it in jail.
315
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,000
Ooh, mushrooms!
316
00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:30,550
- What about the first time, then?
- First time what?
317
00:31:31,700 --> 00:31:34,000
Well, that you were sentenced as an adult.
318
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:51,500
I can't— I can't really talk about that, mate.
319
00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,300
But, I mean, robbing an empty post office is—
320
00:32:00,301 --> 00:32:08,200
Burgle.
Rob people, burgle post offices.
321
00:32:08,370 --> 00:32:12,500
Yeah, but what I mean is it's hardly
a Schedule 1 offence, is it?
322
00:32:12,750 --> 00:32:14,000
Of course not.
323
00:32:16,750 --> 00:32:18,500
Well, that's serious, isn't it?
324
00:32:32,050 --> 00:32:34,300
It wasn't kiddie fiddling.
325
00:32:41,350 --> 00:32:44,050
I didn't say that it was.
326
00:32:46,850 --> 00:32:48,350
It wasn't.
327
00:32:54,050 --> 00:32:56,250
We'll talk about it Thursday, yeah?
328
00:32:59,300 --> 00:33:01,300
Thursday afternoon.
329
00:33:06,750 --> 00:33:08,700
Another time, right?
330
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:06,000
Then you mop with the bread.
Mop up your juices.
331
00:34:18,850 --> 00:34:22,550
So, smash the window, break
the steering wheel lock
332
00:34:22,551 --> 00:34:25,250
by turning the wheel in opposing directions.
333
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:30,400
Yeah. And if the street is too
public to use a brick...
334
00:34:30,450 --> 00:34:35,000
Slide stick. Remove the metal band from a
pallet of bricks, reduce to eighteen inches,
335
00:34:35,001 --> 00:34:38,450
remove a notch from one side,
insert into door panel.
336
00:34:39,740 --> 00:34:42,250
Ba-kow! I'm in the post office!
Boot in the rubble!
337
00:34:42,300 --> 00:34:45,500
No, there's no point in ram-raiding a post office.
338
00:34:45,700 --> 00:34:48,250
- Why not?
- Can't you not pay attention?
339
00:34:48,300 --> 00:34:53,710
There's no point in ram-raiding a fucking post office.
There's never no money in the till, is there?
340
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:58,900
Gone are them days.
341
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,200
I forgot money.
342
00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:06,850
Here.
343
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:12,200
No, no, no, no. I'll get a taxi,
I'll stop at a bank on the way.
344
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,160
No, honestly, take it.
It's me beer money.
345
00:35:15,180 --> 00:35:17,890
You'll be doing me a favour.
346
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,250
You'll be doing society a favour.
347
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,425
And buy a fucking car.
348
00:35:25,540 --> 00:35:27,750
Get yourself a fucking license.
349
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:30,500
Oh, I almost forgot.
350
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,250
Here. Bought you this.
351
00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:36,200
Your black mists.
352
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,100
Thought you could talk into it
next time you're in one.
353
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,000
You'll be okay?
354
00:35:43,900 --> 00:35:45,100
Call if you need any help.
355
00:35:46,300 --> 00:35:48,450
2am, 4am, anytime.
356
00:35:48,550 --> 00:35:52,200
Yeah, so you can bring a fucking camera?
357
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:56,300
Oi!
358
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,510
You're alright, Alexander.
359
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:27,399
Often used to say to Stuart, "I wish
I could just pick you up sometimes,
360
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:31,860
turn you upside down and shake all
the bad things out of your head,
361
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:34,400
then put you back up the right way again."
362
00:36:36,075 --> 00:36:37,700
The change in him.
363
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,700
We just couldn't understand it.
364
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,310
And of course I would like to thank
you all for coming here today
365
00:36:45,340 --> 00:36:49,050
to hear me talk about the campaign
and the petition.
366
00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:53,950
Stuart and I gave nine or ten talks together
about the campaign that spring
367
00:36:53,975 --> 00:36:57,900
in Burmingham, London, Oxford, and
of course villages around Cambridge.
368
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,000
Mr Stuart Clive Shorter.
369
00:36:59,150 --> 00:37:03,549
I'd speak first, and then Stuart would
get up and knock the audience off its
370
00:37:03,550 --> 00:37:05,100
seats with the story of his life.
371
00:37:05,250 --> 00:37:13,900
A typical suicide attempt, just an
unbearable sense of hatred, waste—
372
00:37:13,930 --> 00:37:17,000
"I am the nightmare you frighten your
children with", he said.
373
00:37:17,010 --> 00:37:20,600
"The sort of person these two charity workers
were trying to help to get off your streets."
374
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:25,250
"We should have awarded Ruth and John
medals instead of sending them to prison."
375
00:37:25,255 --> 00:37:32,100
—so I just twisted around and I emptied
everything that remained into my right buttock.
376
00:37:32,105 --> 00:37:34,000
Stuart did two things
for the campaign, really.
377
00:37:34,100 --> 00:37:36,700
He folded letters
378
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,800
and he exposed his soul.
379
00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:46,000
That alright?
380
00:37:53,700 --> 00:37:56,000
- Exactly. So, if we write—
- Oh, this is your name.
381
00:37:56,500 --> 00:37:58,500
If we solve the puzzle, do we solve you?
382
00:38:00,350 --> 00:38:03,500
He's just...
He's just very, very interesting, you know?
383
00:38:03,501 --> 00:38:04,950
He tells me about a world I knew nothing about
384
00:38:04,965 --> 00:38:08,500
and... I... I just like him.
385
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:15,000
It's absolutely extraordinary. He knows the
exact day that he changed into a sociopath.
386
00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:17,000
Between 4pm and 5pm. The exact day!
387
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:22,300
It's like knowing what was in Dr Jekyll's
potion that turned him into Mr Hyde.
388
00:38:26,700 --> 00:38:30,200
This thing, Stuart's black mist,
came that night.
389
00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:33,500
Apparently it started by a knife fight.
390
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,050
The first I heard about it was a
call a day later from his mother.
391
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,000
At least there's no blood.
392
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,650
Usually there is blood.
393
00:38:57,100 --> 00:38:58,800
Perhaps the cleaners have been 'round.
394
00:39:00,500 --> 00:39:01,650
Just for the blood.
395
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,600
Campaign's helped him a lot, you know.
396
00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:15,750
Kept him straight.
397
00:39:16,370 --> 00:39:19,250
Ain't been this happy since
he was a little boy.
398
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,050
"Alexander only."
399
00:39:36,110 --> 00:39:44,300
Hello, Alexander. It's Stuart. You know, admitting
I've had lots to drink and that, but
400
00:39:44,301 --> 00:39:47,000
I can't help reflect about—
401
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:52,440
Stuart had been bailed to appear
at Cambridge Magistrate's Court.
402
00:39:55,700 --> 00:39:57,700
I went with him for moral support.
403
00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:15,800
They don't look too upset to be here.
404
00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:20,100
Well, wait till they get to Crown Court,
that's when it gets serious.
405
00:40:20,150 --> 00:40:22,200
Godspeed the day.
406
00:40:31,510 --> 00:40:33,000
Excuse me, you're about to fall off—
407
00:40:33,001 --> 00:40:33,900
Fuck off.
408
00:40:34,810 --> 00:40:36,999
Good lad, just say that to the
nasty man with the wig and
409
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,310
everything will be fine.
410
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:45,500
Sometimes it takes so long you forget
what your fucking crime was.
411
00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:51,500
Here, listen to this. It's the little 'un.
412
00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:58,350
If I don't know you, fuck off!
I'm not in and I don't wanna talk to you!
413
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,700
I didn't think it was like that.
414
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:07,000
I was thinking maybe he should go
to business school.
415
00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:09,800
But now I don't know.
416
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:11,900
He ain't right.
417
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:17,300
I've had to have words with him about
the importance of politeness.
418
00:41:17,550 --> 00:41:18,700
He's fourteen.
419
00:41:18,990 --> 00:41:21,300
It really shocked me, to be honest.
420
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:24,900
Mr Shorter?
421
00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:31,200
According to police statements they could smell
smoking oil when they arrived on the scene.
422
00:41:32,020 --> 00:41:33,200
Chip fat.
423
00:41:41,500 --> 00:41:44,000
It was the anniversary of my brother's death.
424
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,320
I wanted to burn the devil out of myself.
425
00:42:25,300 --> 00:42:29,004
The Magistrate's Court decided they couldn't
handle the complexities of Stuart's case
426
00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:31,500
so they referred it to the Crown Court.
427
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,450
Disgrace. Forty policemen and
you still get bailed?
428
00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:37,330
Beats me why you hate the system.
429
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,310
Well, my mum says she doesn't
understand it neither.
430
00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:49,650
What did the barrister mean when he was
talking about "attempted manslaughter"?
431
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,600
I reckon I tried to cut my neighbour's
head off with a bread knife.
432
00:42:56,250 --> 00:42:57,860
You didn't. Did you?
433
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:01,700
Yeah.
434
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,750
And if he hadn't have moved,
I'd have got him too.
435
00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:19,000
So you called your neighbour who
made your boing-boing-whoosh bed
436
00:43:19,001 --> 00:43:22,300
a poofter and then that's why he lost it?
437
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,360
No, he thought that I called him a poofter.
438
00:43:25,365 --> 00:43:27,900
- And you did nothing of the sort?
- No.
439
00:43:28,100 --> 00:43:29,900
Then what did you do?
440
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:33,200
I just asked his friend if he was a poofter.
441
00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:37,900
It's not a joke, Alexander!
442
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,075
- Well, I mean—
- When my bell's up, I'm looking at life!
443
00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:53,990
I've lost my keys somewhere.
444
00:43:56,900 --> 00:44:01,100
So you didn't call your neighbour who made
your boing-boing-whoosh bed a poofter.
445
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:07,600
But what— What did his mate say when you called...
446
00:44:07,950 --> 00:44:10,000
What did his mate say when you asked him
if he was a poofter?
447
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:16,770
Just... said he suffered
from premature ejaculation.
448
00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:22,500
Which I thought was quite
interesting at the time
449
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:26,800
because I suffer from the same complaint myself.
450
00:44:39,990 --> 00:44:43,300
Um, I'm going to see some friends in
Norfolk next week.
451
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:44,900
Come along.
452
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:46,900
No, can't.
453
00:44:48,700 --> 00:44:52,650
You heard the Magistrate, I'm not allowed
out of Cambridge until me trial.
454
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,200
And another thing about washing
machines, right,
455
00:45:03,350 --> 00:45:06,115
this fella on the TV,
456
00:45:06,620 --> 00:45:11,000
he put three of them washing machine
inner bits together.
457
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,400
Not even a concrete one. Nothing.
458
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,000
And he said it was a sculpture.
459
00:45:22,150 --> 00:45:24,200
And somebody bought it!
460
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,200
I'm not being funny, yeah?
461
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,200
But there is a viable business
opportunity there.
462
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:36,000
Rent a barn.
463
00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:39,000
Lay out all the bits.
464
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,120
And when you've had enough
of washing machines,
465
00:45:44,350 --> 00:45:45,800
do fridges.
466
00:45:47,300 --> 00:45:51,000
You know, that's what really
annoys me, Alexander.
467
00:45:51,010 --> 00:45:55,450
I'm always getting these great ideas,
you know, about how to make money.
468
00:45:56,450 --> 00:45:59,200
People are always telling me that
they're wrong, you know?
469
00:45:59,250 --> 00:46:01,200
I never get no encouragement.
470
00:46:02,450 --> 00:46:04,600
No encouragement at all.
471
00:46:08,700 --> 00:46:10,050
Can you hold the wheel?
472
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,700
You want some?
473
00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:17,900
Uh, yes. Thank you.
474
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:18,800
Save me some.
475
00:46:19,300 --> 00:46:20,625
I will.
476
00:46:24,990 --> 00:46:27,250
I think I've got a bit of a cold coming.
477
00:46:34,700 --> 00:46:36,700
Here, listen to this!
478
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,150
I apologise for not being
currently available.
479
00:46:40,152 --> 00:46:43,000
Be so kind as to leave your
name and message.
480
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,300
So, why don't you just get an ordinary job?
481
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,900
- 9 to 5?
- That's the one.
482
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,000
Getting up in the morning,
coming home late at night.
483
00:46:59,010 --> 00:46:59,990
On the nose.
484
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,300
Full time.
485
00:47:03,700 --> 00:47:05,200
What, have you ever had one of those?
486
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:07,100
- Nope.
- Ohh.
487
00:47:09,900 --> 00:47:12,600
I've done a bit of valeting work for
a friend of me brother's.
488
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:14,800
And?
489
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,100
I head-butted the bloke.
490
00:47:17,900 --> 00:47:20,300
Your version of putting your head down
and getting on with it, I suppose.
491
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,990
He tried to fiddle with me sister.
492
00:47:24,910 --> 00:47:28,400
And then later on, you know, ah s—
I don't know.
493
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,900
And now you don't know what?
494
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,800
Nothing. Just later on
495
00:47:37,100 --> 00:47:40,000
my brother Gavvy killed himself.
496
00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:43,255
Well, you know don't have to say
anything, Stuart.
497
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,650
Talk about it another time.
498
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:51,600
Yeah. Thanks.
499
00:47:57,700 --> 00:48:00,400
When the police found Gavvy they
said he'd really suffered.
500
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,450
The tablets he'd taken had eaten his kidneys
and his liver away before he died.
501
00:48:05,765 --> 00:48:08,300
And he had been in absolute agony dying.
502
00:48:08,850 --> 00:48:10,000
And I'm glad.
503
00:48:11,010 --> 00:48:13,300
I'm glad my brother suffered.
504
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:24,500
- Chainsaw carved mushrooms?
- Fucking hell.
505
00:48:24,900 --> 00:48:26,220
What did they do to deserve that?
506
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:35,500
Fucking nice little number you
got going here, mate.
507
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,500
You get many knob heads falling for it?
508
00:48:38,502 --> 00:48:40,400
Yeah, plenty.
509
00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:10,450
Oh wow.
510
00:49:11,625 --> 00:49:12,700
I'm James. Good to see you.
511
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,600
Alexander's told me all about you.
512
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,299
Reuben, yes?
513
00:49:18,300 --> 00:49:20,550
- I'm Dido.
- Ah, you have a lovely house.
514
00:49:20,650 --> 00:49:22,300
- Hello, darling.
- Hi, hi, hi.
515
00:49:22,475 --> 00:49:24,500
- Good to see you.
- This is for you.
516
00:49:24,650 --> 00:49:25,500
Ooh, thank you. Lovely, mmm.
517
00:49:25,555 --> 00:49:28,540
Now, Alexander told you that I'm an
alcoholic, hasn't he?
518
00:49:28,580 --> 00:49:33,425
I'm also a Schedule 1 offender and a
thief, but I won't cause no trouble.
519
00:49:34,500 --> 00:49:37,000
May I have a tour of the estate, please?
520
00:49:37,900 --> 00:49:41,600
- Is that a pear tree?
- Yeah.
521
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:44,550
You can make cider out of that.
522
00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:47,210
And them apples, eh?
523
00:49:48,990 --> 00:49:52,349
Famous actors used to come here and
play tennis, like Lawrence Olivier and—
524
00:49:52,350 --> 00:49:54,850
Lawrence Olivier? Really? Right there?
525
00:49:57,925 --> 00:49:59,700
21-Love!
526
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,750
Hey!
527
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:05,475
You ought to knock all of them trees
down and build a go-kart course.
528
00:50:07,580 --> 00:50:10,375
If you fix this place up it
would be really lovely here.
529
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,000
Ooh, [indiscernible]. Very nice.
530
00:51:09,700 --> 00:51:12,400
Ooh, it's very tasty. Yeah.
531
00:51:15,500 --> 00:51:18,100
Fucking amazing here.
532
00:51:22,500 --> 00:51:24,300
Yeah, A-fucking-One.
533
00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:31,700
They're so false.
534
00:51:32,300 --> 00:51:34,100
False tits.
535
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:39,700
Now, I prefer a bit of natural bounce myself.
536
00:51:41,100 --> 00:51:44,300
I mean, and if they're going to sag,
they're going to sag, aren't they?
537
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:54,750
I don't get it, Alexander.
538
00:51:55,100 --> 00:52:00,150
How come you're so interested
in homeless people?
539
00:52:01,075 --> 00:52:04,250
I'm not. I was only working at Wintercomfort
because the money was good.
540
00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:09,400
Nine quid an hour. And the hours, shift work.
541
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:11,250
How long are these onions meant to cook?
542
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,500
Till they feel satisfied.
543
00:52:18,750 --> 00:52:20,360
And then it meant I could write
in the morning.
544
00:52:22,250 --> 00:52:24,000
Yeah, but why?
545
00:52:24,990 --> 00:52:27,999
Look, Stuart, if I was interested in
you as a homeless person,
546
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,550
I'd have been sacked for unprofessional
conduct ages ago.
547
00:52:30,950 --> 00:52:33,550
- So?
- So I like you as a friend, is that so bad?
548
00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:39,475
Fenugreek?
549
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,650
It's a bit weird if you ask me.
550
00:52:46,780 --> 00:52:47,990
Couldn't agree more.
551
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:56,050
—seven, eight. There's always somebody
what won't want two.
552
00:53:02,650 --> 00:53:04,000
Yeah, but why?
553
00:53:05,700 --> 00:53:08,200
Because you're funny, intelligent, good company.
554
00:53:08,202 --> 00:53:11,100
What do you want, a fucking love letter?
Now shut up and drink your freaking beer.
555
00:53:18,100 --> 00:53:19,200
Marvellous.
556
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,100
- What was it again?
- "Convict Curry".
557
00:53:33,900 --> 00:53:36,800
Hey Stuart, it's Thursday!
You gotta tell!
558
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,780
No, not now.
559
00:53:38,890 --> 00:53:40,500
Come on. A promise is a promise.
560
00:53:40,620 --> 00:53:43,370
Come on, you've talked to us
about everything else.
561
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,550
Give it a rest, Alexander.
562
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,200
- You don't wanna know.
- Stuart's first prison sentence.
563
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:52,025
He'll only talk about it on a Thursday
564
00:53:52,100 --> 00:53:55,999
because he gets his dole money
Wednesday afternoons, which means that
565
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:59,900
if talking about it upsets him, he's still
got enough heroin left to calm him down.
566
00:53:59,901 --> 00:54:01,000
Is that right?
567
00:54:05,070 --> 00:54:06,500
It was nothing.
568
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,700
I was—
569
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:13,000
I was in the pub one night.
570
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,500
It was the little 'un's birthday.
571
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:22,450
I was, I was in the pub celebrating.
572
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,700
It was over ten years ago.
573
00:54:28,850 --> 00:54:31,000
This bloke says...
574
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:34,300
It was just nastiness.
575
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:35,000
Come on.
576
00:54:35,650 --> 00:54:38,000
Alexander, please.
577
00:54:38,500 --> 00:54:40,700
Look, Thursday's the day.
578
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,000
So I come home.
579
00:54:57,700 --> 00:55:01,000
[Indiscernible] says,
"you've been fucking [indiscernible]."
580
00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:03,000
You're drunk.
581
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:07,600
If you want it, you gotta rape me.
582
00:55:14,450 --> 00:55:16,400
I'll fucking kill you, you cunt!
583
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:18,500
Get out!
584
00:55:18,900 --> 00:55:20,990
You wanted a fucking baby!
585
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:33,100
And I think then I realised that I had
made a proper mess of it all, really.
586
00:55:33,300 --> 00:55:34,500
I'm fucking leaving.
587
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,100
You fucking are now!
588
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,500
Did you fuck around with me!? Yeah!?
588
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,010
I'm a bit ashamed of that to be honest.
589
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:02,180
Go on, fuck off! Fuck off, [indiscernible].
Oh, for fuck's sake.
590
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:03,500
Go on, fuck off!
591
00:56:06,500 --> 00:56:07,650
Fucking hell!
592
00:56:07,950 --> 00:56:09,000
It's alright.
593
00:56:09,210 --> 00:56:10,300
Fuck off!
594
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:15,000
So we sat around for a bit
595
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,300
and decided we'd come out together.
596
00:56:24,300 --> 00:56:28,000
We're coming out now. We're together.
597
00:56:29,700 --> 00:56:30,950
I'm sorry.
598
00:56:33,900 --> 00:56:35,000
Go! Get him!
599
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:40,500
Connie, just shoot the fucker!
600
00:56:44,500 --> 00:56:49,170
He just lost it. It's not Stuart.
601
00:56:51,350 --> 00:56:53,000
Move! Move!
602
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:55,500
Lovely stay, Alexander.
Thank you very much.
603
00:57:56,250 --> 00:57:57,950
I really enjoyed it.
604
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:06,990
I was really surprised, Alexander,
to be honest.
605
00:58:07,100 --> 00:58:11,175
I thought that middle class people had
something wrong with them, you know?
606
00:58:11,325 --> 00:58:17,400
But they're just ordinary, aren't they?
I was a bit shocked, to tell the truth.
607
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:24,500
Over the next few months Stuart's
trial for the attempted manslaughter
608
00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:28,300
of his not poofter, boing-boing-whoosh bed
making neighbour was postponed once,
609
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:31,000
twice,
610
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:34,650
a third time,
611
00:58:35,550 --> 00:58:36,800
and then a fourth.
612
00:58:40,525 --> 00:58:44,990
He needed some cash so I gave
him 250 quid for his car
613
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,300
and I'm still waiting for the paperwork.
614
00:58:48,550 --> 00:58:51,400
Meanwhile, the campaign went from
strength to strength.
615
00:58:51,950 --> 00:58:55,300
Newsletters, petitions, protests,
even benefit gigs.
616
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,950
And then it was Stuart's bright idea
to go and see our local MP.
617
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,500
Oh shit.
618
00:59:07,230 --> 00:59:09,800
I'm sorry, I'm just a bit nervous is all.
619
00:59:13,900 --> 00:59:15,700
Mr Shorter is not from Anne's constituency—
620
00:59:15,705 --> 00:59:19,990
I'm from Anne's constituency. I wish
to take Stuart as my guest.
621
00:59:19,991 --> 00:59:21,100
Alexander...
622
00:59:21,101 --> 00:59:22,450
For that you'll have to make a new appointment.
623
00:59:22,451 --> 00:59:24,300
Oh, rubbish! She's got nothing else
to do, has she?
624
00:59:25,050 --> 00:59:30,550
The council is not gonna have no emergency
winter shelter for the homeless.
625
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,800
And I'm frightened—
626
00:59:39,250 --> 00:59:43,000
In winter it's smack what
keeps you fucking—
627
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:50,000
I'm sorry.
628
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:52,900
—keeps you warm.
629
00:59:54,000 --> 01:00:00,050
But this year there's going to be
one more death a month, again.
630
01:00:01,900 --> 01:00:02,800
Why?
631
01:00:04,100 --> 01:00:05,350
Puppies.
632
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:08,600
I'm not sure I follow you.
633
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:11,500
On the streets.
634
01:00:14,500 --> 01:00:16,000
Pup—puppies.
635
01:00:22,150 --> 01:00:25,600
'Cause the homeless love their dogs, right?
636
01:00:26,900 --> 01:00:31,400
But the hostels only allow two to
three places for pets.
637
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:36,900
So, if there has been two new litters,
638
01:00:37,150 --> 01:00:40,049
then loads more people are gonna
have dogs, aren't they?
639
01:00:40,050 --> 01:00:45,800
And therefore will be forced to sleep out.
640
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:54,100
And hence... therefore... furthermore,
more deaths.
641
01:00:58,900 --> 01:01:04,800
You see, on the street it's the
little things that kill people.
642
01:01:13,625 --> 01:01:17,300
That Justice Howarth must hate
the campaign's guts. Humiliation!
633
01:01:17,350 --> 01:01:20,950
Seven months after they were
sent down Ruth and John—
634
01:01:20,951 --> 01:01:24,980
—have been released on bail after
a high profile campaign by MPs
635
01:01:24,981 --> 01:01:28,008
and other homeless charities, they won
the right to appeal against prison sentences
636
01:01:28,010 --> 01:01:30,000
four and five years.
637
01:01:30,010 --> 01:01:33,799
This was our first sight of Ruth Wyner
and John Brock on the steps of the
638
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:35,900
Royal Courts of Justice this morning.
639
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:39,449
After seven months in jail, the so-called
"Cambridge Two" have been released on
640
01:01:39,450 --> 01:01:43,550
unconditional bail and are now free to
challenge their original convictions.
641
01:01:44,900 --> 01:01:46,600
I can't see if the light's on.
642
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:52,999
Stuart, it's Alexander.
Stop whatever illegal thing it is
643
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:55,020
that you're doing and get down here!
644
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:11,100
It's me muscular dystrophy.
645
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:19,000
Humeroscapu... or something.
Muscular dystrophy.
646
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:24,150
It's a real gobstopper,
I never learnt the name.
647
01:02:25,300 --> 01:02:27,200
What you don't know can't hurt you.
648
01:02:28,300 --> 01:02:35,799
I only came in to see the nurse because
I wanted a cuddle and it spits too soon.
649
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:37,500
Stuart!
650
01:02:38,450 --> 01:02:42,300
I thought maybe it's because of
me muscular dystrophy.
651
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:46,000
You know, 'cause your dick's a muscle, isn't it?
652
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:53,000
It started on me ticker.
653
01:02:55,000 --> 01:03:00,100
They tried twice to put a pacemaker in me tit,
654
01:03:02,500 --> 01:03:07,100
but the veins just crumble 'cause of
the amount of critic I've injected.
655
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:11,800
Gotta laugh, haven't you?
656
01:03:26,500 --> 01:03:28,020
I can't believe he hadn't told you.
657
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:30,990
He tells everyone. About everything.
658
01:03:31,050 --> 01:03:33,350
- Well, now, that's not true.
- Mum, yes.
659
01:03:33,950 --> 01:03:36,900
That's his way of coping, isn't it?
660
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,500
Twenty years. Non-stop.
661
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,100
Ever since he first went on the streets.
662
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:44,000
Twenty years?
663
01:03:44,550 --> 01:03:48,000
But I thought it was Gavvy's, um,
his brother's suicide that made him homeless.
664
01:03:48,010 --> 01:03:49,800
Don't be stupid.
665
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,900
Stuart had been on and off the
streets since he was twelve.
666
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:55,000
Then, all of a sudden, this little horror.
667
01:03:55,550 --> 01:03:57,850
Twelve years old, that's when it started.
668
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:00,600
Gavvy had to run to fetch mum.
669
01:04:02,500 --> 01:04:04,200
Come, it's Stuart!
670
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:07,550
Put me into care! You hear me!?
671
01:04:07,700 --> 01:04:10,000
Do it now otherwise I'll kill you!
672
01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:15,000
Put me into care now! I'll do the lot of you!
Put me into care!
673
01:04:15,001 --> 01:04:18,100
I said, put me into care!
674
01:04:19,300 --> 01:04:20,900
In you get. Watch your head.
675
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,250
He was taken into care that night.
676
01:04:24,990 --> 01:04:26,350
We didn't see him for three weeks.
677
01:04:26,550 --> 01:04:28,150
Another one for you, Mr Laverack.
678
01:04:28,300 --> 01:04:31,100
You're getting popular, he asked to come.
679
01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:35,030
Poor boy. Poor boy.
680
01:04:46,700 --> 01:04:48,500
Out of the frying pan into the fire.
681
01:04:48,700 --> 01:04:50,800
Well, we weren't the frying pan.
682
01:04:50,850 --> 01:04:52,100
You know what I mean.
683
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:54,500
We just couldn't understand it.
684
01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:57,530
People said she ought to disown him.
685
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,800
How can you wash your hands
of your own child?
686
01:05:01,900 --> 01:05:03,500
He's my flesh and blood, I'd say.
687
01:05:04,700 --> 01:05:05,800
He's my son.
688
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:08,050
I just wish I could do more.
689
01:05:10,700 --> 01:05:14,324
Working on the book after the end of
the campaign, writing, rewriting,
690
01:05:14,325 --> 01:05:18,360
I realised then that I could never
hope to justify or explain Stuart.
691
01:05:18,380 --> 01:05:21,330
And whatever had murdered his
innocence had long ago ceased
692
01:05:21,331 --> 01:05:23,800
to be simple enough to sort
out with words.
693
01:05:24,900 --> 01:05:27,350
All I could hope to do was to
staple him to the page.
694
01:05:33,125 --> 01:05:35,100
- Hello?
- It's in me tit.
695
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:39,900
I'm at Papworth Heart Hospital.
Come visit.
696
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:45,790
Yeah, on your way, can you pop in
to see me gran and grandpa?
697
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:47,500
They've got a present for me.
698
01:05:47,700 --> 01:05:51,200
I told them it smells like sick
but they don't listen.
699
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,000
We haven't seen Stuart in years.
700
01:06:02,350 --> 01:06:03,800
Lots of years.
701
01:06:04,150 --> 01:06:07,900
Well, things haven't been very
easy for him recently.
702
01:06:08,000 -->01:06:10,600
His mother says it's the buses.
703
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,750
They're not convenient.
704
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:19,600
Stuart?
705
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:24,400
- No.
- Rory, his son.
705
01:06:31,500 --> 01:06:34,500
- Stuart.
- No.
706
01:06:34,550 --> 01:06:36,400
Rex, his dad.
707
01:06:38,350 --> 01:06:40,600
A bad man, his real dad.
708
01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:43,900
Gypsies.
709
01:06:51,700 --> 01:06:52,900
Stuart?
710
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:54,800
Gavvy, Stuey's brother.
711
01:06:55,100 --> 01:06:59,150
One day when Rex was beating
our Judith real bad,
712
01:07:00,550 --> 01:07:02,400
Gavvy hit him over the head
with a broom.
713
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:04,500
He was only five.
714
01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:08,930
Rex moved out after that.
715
01:07:13,700 --> 01:07:15,550
I know why Stuart changed.
716
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:19,500
Gavvy came 'round special to tell me.
717
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:22,600
Promised I'd never tell.
718
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:28,560
Three days later he committed suicide.
719
01:07:34,500 --> 01:07:36,330
To celebrate his getting better.
720
01:07:37,300 --> 01:07:39,035
Couldn't decide red or white.
721
01:07:39,170 --> 01:07:43,000
Tell him to come and see us.
We've waited long enough.
722
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:46,400
Can't wait forever.
723
01:08:05,750 --> 01:08:07,850
Oh, you fucking star.
724
01:08:23,500 --> 01:08:25,250
I almost died.
725
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:32,800
How are Ruth and John?
726
01:08:33,155 --> 01:08:34,850
Not good.
727
01:08:36,980 --> 01:08:38,000
He can't work.
728
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:41,600
Wife says he cries in his sleep.
729
01:08:46,700 --> 01:08:47,800
And Ruth?
730
01:08:48,100 --> 01:08:49,200
Got cancer.
731
01:08:52,900 --> 01:08:54,100
Bastards.
732
01:08:55,200 --> 01:08:57,600
Now do you see what I mean
about the system?
733
01:08:57,810 --> 01:09:00,900
The system. It's the system that's
going to keep her alive.
734
01:09:01,500 --> 01:09:05,900
It's the system that's just given you
a £5,000 pacemaker for nothing.
735
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,650
- Hello?
- Excuse me guys, do either of you know
where the toilet is?
736
01:09:09,900 --> 01:09:12,100
Uh, yeah, sure. I saw a sign that
said down there on the left.
737
01:09:12,300 --> 01:09:13,500
Thanks, mate.
738
01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:24,150
Fucking hell.
739
01:09:24,850 --> 01:09:26,750
I need a cigarette.
740
01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:31,150
Yeah, the whole town's like it.
741
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:34,000
All cripples.
742
01:09:35,100 --> 01:09:39,275
I spent six years in a school like this.
743
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:45,800
Day I end up like that, eh,
744
01:09:46,100 --> 01:09:49,100
death day.
745
01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:51,800
Care was like this?
746
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:54,500
No. Spagie school.
747
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:58,300
They sent me because of
my muscular dystrophy.
748
01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:02,300
Said I wasn't allowed to go
to proper school.
749
01:10:02,350 --> 01:10:04,450
Well, it was the '70s.
750
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:08,010
Funny thing, that. There was nothing
wrong with me at that stage.
751
01:10:08,011 --> 01:10:12,300
I was just a bit uncoordinated,
but you'd hardly notice.
752
01:10:14,300 --> 01:10:17,500
But they said since I was
going to die a spag,
753
01:10:17,505 --> 01:10:20,350
I might as well get used to the idea.
754
01:10:22,850 --> 01:10:26,250
Before I was too spagie to
understand, I suppose.
755
01:10:26,251 --> 01:10:27,000
Now all together.
756
01:10:28,300 --> 01:10:30,500
Douchebag! Douchebag! Douchebag!
757
01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:36,200
Gimpy! Oi, gimpy, come here!
758
01:10:36,900 --> 01:10:39,000
Where's your brother now?
759
01:10:41,485 --> 01:10:44,200
'Help me! Hold me! Love me!'
760
01:10:49,380 --> 01:10:51,500
We're coming to kill you.
761
01:11:04,800 --> 01:11:06,600
Did they kick the shit out of you?
762
01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:08,600
Every day, mate.
763
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:12,600
Give 'em something to do after school.
764
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:16,900
Then Gavvy would console me.
765
01:11:19,900 --> 01:11:24,000
Please, not Howarth. Please, not—
766
01:11:24,001 --> 01:11:27,500
Only one month out of Papworth,
Stuart's day in court for
767
01:11:27,501 --> 01:11:29,800
attempting to cut off his neighbour's
head finally arrived.
768
01:11:30,500 --> 01:11:32,590
We were dreading it would be
Ruth and John's old judge.
769
01:11:32,600 --> 01:11:34,600
Oh fuck!
770
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:37,200
All rise for Justice Howarth.
771
01:11:39,700 --> 01:11:42,250
At this point Stuart really was looking
at being imprisoned for life.
772
01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:49,200
Court is now in session.
773
01:11:56,400 --> 01:12:00,550
This case concerns Stuart Clive Shorter.
774
01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:08,015
Affray, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest,
775
01:12:08,050 --> 01:12:11,150
an incident at the accused's flat.
776
01:12:25,500 --> 01:12:29,100
No. No, he just said
the whole thing was nonsense.
777
01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:33,999
All that adding charges, taking them
away, attempted murder, not—
778
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:36,150
I don't know, I mean, what can I say?
779
01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:39,950
The lucky bastard got off on
a series of technicalities.
780
01:12:40,150 --> 01:12:43,000
You know what Judge Howarth thinks about—
781
01:12:43,005 --> 01:12:46,600
Oh shit. Stuart, I'm so sorry.
Are you alright?
782
01:12:46,900 --> 01:12:48,200
I'm so sorry.
783
01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:54,650
He's free! He's absolutely fucking free.
784
01:13:26,700 --> 01:13:28,300
Oh, you're disgusting.
785
01:13:32,500 --> 01:13:34,500
Wakey, wakey.
786
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:45,300
Sun has got his hat on, mate.
Sun has got his hat on, mate.
787
01:13:46,100 --> 01:13:47,850
Rise and shine!
788
01:13:48,030 --> 01:13:50,950
Now, I've got to try on a suit
for me sister's wedding.
789
01:13:51,290 --> 01:13:53,300
Can you give me a lift?
790
01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:05,300
Have you listened to the tape?
791
01:14:22,300 --> 01:14:27,400
I was nine, Alexander, when it started.
Nine.
792
01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:31,325
It was three years of abuse.
793
01:14:32,950 --> 01:14:34,900
My own brother.
794
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:43,050
And then his mate joined in.
795
01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:57,320
That night, I ju— I couldn't,
I couldn't take it no more, you know?
796
01:14:59,700 --> 01:15:01,120
They had done everything.
797
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,800
There was nothing more they could do.
798
01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:38,850
- You got any more of these?
- Yeah, backseat, I think.
799
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:42,200
I think the reason mum still
pampers him like she does
800
01:15:42,201 --> 01:15:45,150
is because she feels guilty
about what Gavvy did.
801
01:15:45,700 --> 01:15:47,800
But he did the same to me.
802
01:15:49,770 --> 01:15:51,010
I'm the same as Stu.
803
01:15:51,030 --> 01:15:54,300
One minute, nice as pie;
next minute, I'm a rattlesnake.
804
01:15:56,000 --> 01:16:00,000
How'd I get to be like this?
What murdered the little boy I was?
805
01:16:00,001 --> 01:16:02,420
When the police found Gavvy,
they said he'd really suffered.
806
01:16:05,750 --> 01:16:07,100
Legs all over the show.
807
01:16:08,350 --> 01:16:10,250
That boy has suffered.
808
01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:13,000
Happy-go-lucky little thing.
809
01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:15,200
Mr Laverack.
810
01:16:15,750 --> 01:16:18,100
- Poor boy. Poor boy.
- Out of the frying pan into the fire.
811
01:16:18,101 --> 01:16:21,000
- Put me into care now!
- Douchebag! Douchebag!
812
01:16:21,100 --> 01:16:24,850
- Douchebag! Douchebag! Douchebag!
- We're coming to kill you.
813
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:29,010
The tablets he'd taken had eaten his kidneys
and his liver away before he died.
814
01:16:29,011 --> 01:16:31,500
Always such a caring boy.
Happy-go-lucky little thing.
815
01:16:31,900 --> 01:16:33,800
And I'm glad.
816
01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:35,355
I'm glad Gavvy suffered.
817
01:16:44,025 --> 01:16:45,650
That's Gavvy.
818
01:16:50,075 --> 01:16:52,120
That's Gavvy and me.
819
01:16:57,900 --> 01:17:00,020
So he's what murdered the boy you were.
820
01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:05,240
- What made you change.
- Ah, wasn't that.
821
01:17:08,000 --> 01:17:09,150
What was it then?
822
01:17:11,300 --> 01:17:17,500
So many people have had the same
sort of childhood and experiences
823
01:17:17,501 --> 01:17:22,430
as what I have and they learn to
accept and cope and live a very,
824
01:17:23,500 --> 01:17:27,195
in brackets, "normal and
competitive life".
825
01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:30,100
I'm quite philosophical about that.
826
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:37,500
If you had to change one thing about
your life, what would it be?
827
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:40,050
Well, how much is one thing?
828
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:44,000
It's very easy to blame, isn't it?
829
01:17:45,600 --> 01:17:47,900
Me muscular dystrophy?
830
01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:50,400
Nonces?
831
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,300
Gavvy?
832
01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:56,340
Honestly, it'd be easier to change me.
833
01:17:57,500 --> 01:17:58,800
One thing only.
834
01:18:06,600 --> 01:18:09,620
The day I discovered violence.
835
01:18:11,500 --> 01:18:13,400
Me step-father
836
01:18:13,600 --> 01:18:17,000
said if I didn't go out there
and stick up for myself,
837
01:18:17,500 --> 01:18:19,500
he'd belt us once.
838
01:18:53,300 --> 01:18:56,100
Fucking fantastic.
839
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:02,100
Weakling became strong.
840
01:19:03,500 --> 01:19:06,200
The day that I found violence
841
01:19:07,100 --> 01:19:10,050
I felt fifty times more strong.
842
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:18,100
After you've been bullied and
pushed about, called spastic,
843
01:19:18,150 --> 01:19:26,975
you learn that violence, and fear of violence,
and madness, it scares people.
844
01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:34,000
I used to deliberately get myself in a rage.
845
01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:38,900
And after six months,
I found I couldn't stop them.
846
01:19:39,200 --> 01:19:42,550
I wasn't making the madness up no more.
847
01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:48,400
You know what, Alexander?
848
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:54,100
I don't know myself or [indiscernible].
849
01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:57,000
Madness.
850
01:19:58,100 --> 01:20:02,300
Sometimes I think I'm the child of the devil.
851
01:20:03,250 --> 01:20:05,500
I let the devil in.
852
01:20:08,200 --> 01:20:10,400
Now I can't get him out.
853
01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:13,700
I tried...
854
01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:17,530
burning him out, and cutting him out, and...
855
01:20:19,900 --> 01:20:22,000
he don't take no notice.
856
01:20:22,700 --> 01:20:23,900
Why should he?
857
01:20:24,200 --> 01:20:26,925
He don't wanna be homeless.
858
01:20:38,700 --> 01:20:40,090
You know, there's still one question left.
859
01:20:40,110 --> 01:20:43,000
- What's that, mate?
- Guess.
850
01:20:44,060 --> 01:20:46,050
We're writing the book backwards,
861
01:20:47,300 --> 01:20:50,300
so what's the last bit of information we need?
862
01:20:53,800 --> 01:20:55,500
What's your date of birth?
863
01:20:55,900 --> 01:20:57,900
Oh, right, yeah.
864
01:20:59,500 --> 01:21:02,130
I am Stuart Clive Shorter.
865
01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:09,250
I was born on the 19th of the 9th, 1968.
866
01:21:12,900 --> 01:21:15,000
So, you're...
867
01:21:15,900 --> 01:21:21,200
- You're 33.
- I am 33. I'm getting older, as they say.
868
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:29,050
And I have led a very controversial
and unpleasant life.
869
01:21:31,380 --> 01:21:33,000
Oh, yeah.
870
01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:39,100
Eh?
Best man or what, eh?
871
01:21:44,200 --> 01:21:46,500
It is gonna be grand.
872
01:22:09,900 --> 01:22:12,000
P—P—P—Peterborough, Cambridge—
873
01:22:14,700 --> 01:22:21,700
—on 96 and 95.7 FM. And 1026 AM.
BBC Radio Cambridgeshire.
874
01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:23,200
The top story this hour—
875
01:22:31,000 --> 01:22:33,050
—near the French entrance to the
channel tunnel.
876
01:22:33,100 --> 01:22:36,000
Police have now formally indentified
the man who died after being hit
877
01:22:36,001 --> 01:22:38,600
by a train near Cambridge early this morning.
878
01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:42,010
He was Stuart Shorter, a 33-year-old
from Waterbeach.
879
01:22:42,011 --> 01:22:47,000
The coroner has been informed and an inquest
will take place at a date to be fixed.
880
01:22:59,000 --> 01:23:01,000
Judith? It's Alexander.
881
01:23:06,500 --> 01:23:10,100
Blessed be the God and Father of
our Lord Jesus Christ.
882
01:23:10,150 --> 01:23:12,070
Was it suicide?
883
01:23:12,900 --> 01:23:15,325
I don't know. He didn't leave a note.
884
01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:19,000
But then, suicides often don't.
885
01:23:20,200 --> 01:23:24,600
All I do know is that he stepped in front
of the 11:15 Cambridge to Kings Lynn.
886
01:23:25,700 --> 01:23:30,000
—I have overcome the world, says the Lord.
887
01:23:30,150 --> 01:23:34,100
Since the Earthly life of Stuart
has come to an end,
888
01:23:35,000 --> 01:23:37,800
we commit his body to be buried.
889
01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:42,000
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
890
01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:46,100
In sure and certain hope of the
resurrection to eternal life.
891
01:23:46,200 --> 01:23:50,000
- To our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.
- Amen.
892
01:24:44,500 --> 01:24:47,000
Hello, Alexander. It's Stuart.
893
01:24:47,010 --> 01:24:48,900
Hello, Stuart.
894
01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:57,000
You know, admitting I've had lots to drink and that,
but I can't help reflect about my brother
895
01:24:57,800 --> 01:24:59,900
and my brother's friend.
896
01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:02,000
And they didn't believe me.
897
01:25:03,000 --> 01:25:04,900
And they didn't care.
898
01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:06,500
The abuse.
899
01:25:07,000 --> 01:25:11,380
Being asked to do things that I wouldn't
have thought possible that anyone
900
01:25:11,381 --> 01:25:14,230
could ask of an 11-year-old.
901
01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:26,000
I'm just head-butting, and head-butting,
and head-butting, and head-butting.
902
01:25:26,150 --> 01:25:31,000
The more that you speak,
the more they disbelieve.
903
01:25:32,000 --> 01:25:35,300
And nobody was listening
to anything I had to say.
904
01:25:36,500 --> 01:25:38,990
When I've got my drink inside me
905
01:25:39,000 --> 01:25:44,300
I sit here having mad conversations
with myself.
906
01:25:44,600 --> 01:25:47,310
Talking about mutilating myself,
907
01:25:48,350 --> 01:25:51,000
killing myself,
908
01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:55,000
tracking down those who are responsible.
909
01:25:56,000 --> 01:26:00,000
I want to just lay down and die.
900
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:06,100
I feel so dirty, and fucking horrible
911
01:26:06,130 --> 01:26:10,300
and hating and attacking anyone
I get close to.
912
01:26:11,550 --> 01:26:13,000
I just wish
913
01:26:14,500 --> 01:26:15,900
once
914
01:26:16,000 --> 01:26:20,000
there could be an escape from this madness.
915
01:26:34,000 --> 01:26:37,600
The book was finally published in April 2005.
916
01:26:41,300 --> 01:26:43,500
I think Stuart would have liked it.