1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:11,959 --> 00:00:15,083 [vehicles zooming] 4 00:00:25,417 --> 00:00:28,333 [jazz music] 5 00:00:28,417 --> 00:00:35,542 ♪ ♪ 6 00:00:45,375 --> 00:00:47,083 [cassette player clacks] 7 00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:49,667 [static hissing softly] 8 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:53,041 - Hello, Alexander. It's Stuart. 9 00:00:53,125 --> 00:00:54,750 - Hello, Stuart. 10 00:00:54,834 --> 00:00:59,041 - You know, admitting I've had lots to drink and that 11 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,792 I can't help but reflect... 12 00:01:00,875 --> 00:01:02,125 - I'm Alexander, 13 00:01:02,208 --> 00:01:04,291 the bloke in the glasses driving. 14 00:01:04,375 --> 00:01:06,125 Not the mumbly one on the tape. 15 00:01:06,208 --> 00:01:07,709 That's Stuart. 16 00:01:07,792 --> 00:01:10,041 - [indistinct mumbling] 17 00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:12,667 - I got to know Stuart in 2000 18 00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:15,250 and decided to write his biography. 19 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:16,792 All my friends said it was mad of me. 20 00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:18,250 After all, this man was unknown. 21 00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:19,875 He wasn't famous, not a celebrity, 22 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:23,583 but the book turned out okay. 23 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,750 - [indistinct mumbling] 24 00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:29,750 - Just wish Stuart could have been here to see it. 25 00:01:29,834 --> 00:01:32,875 [Badly Drawn Boy's "Pissing in the Wind"] 26 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,959 [typewriter clicking] 27 00:01:35,041 --> 00:01:37,250 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:41,125 I think it was the first-ever biography of a homeless man, 29 00:01:41,208 --> 00:01:44,125 from birth to the present day. 30 00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:49,291 - ♪ I've been pissing in the wind ♪ 31 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,166 ♪ ♪ 32 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:56,166 ♪ I chanced a foolish grin ♪ 33 00:01:56,250 --> 00:02:00,667 ♪ And dribbled on my chin ♪ 34 00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:02,166 ♪ ♪ 35 00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:05,458 ♪ Now the ground ♪ 36 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:09,959 ♪ Shifts beneath my feet ♪ 37 00:02:10,041 --> 00:02:14,792 ♪ The faces that I greet ♪ 38 00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:19,333 ♪ Never know my name ♪ 39 00:02:19,417 --> 00:02:24,125 ♪ Just give me something ♪ 40 00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:28,291 ♪ I'll take nothing ♪ 41 00:02:28,375 --> 00:02:32,959 ♪ Just give me something ♪ 42 00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:37,542 ♪ I'll take nothing ♪ 43 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:40,959 ♪ ♪ 44 00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:43,709 [bicycle bell rings] 45 00:02:43,792 --> 00:02:47,250 ♪ ♪ 46 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,166 [tires screech] 47 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:52,458 - So, back in 2000, 48 00:02:52,542 --> 00:02:54,375 I was earning a bit of extra pocket money 49 00:02:54,458 --> 00:02:57,917 working as a fundraiser at Wintercomfort, 50 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,250 which is a busy little day shelter in Cambridge, 51 00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:04,583 normally full of homeless people. 52 00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:07,792 Full, that is, until the morning that the police 53 00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:09,458 decided to raid the place. 54 00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:11,333 - They've been arrested. 55 00:03:11,417 --> 00:03:13,417 - All of them? [chuckles] 56 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,834 What a good idea. 57 00:03:15,917 --> 00:03:17,917 [indistinct speech on radio] 58 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,667 Uh, no, no, it was, um, just my boss, Ruth 59 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:24,583 and, um, her deputy, John. 60 00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:26,834 Some of the clients had been secretly dealing drugs 61 00:03:26,917 --> 00:03:28,792 on the premises, but because Ruth and John 62 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:32,000 ran the charity, they were held responsible. 63 00:03:32,083 --> 00:03:34,500 - They've got evidence, on film. 64 00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:35,959 [banging on door] - [muffled yelling] 65 00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:38,500 - I was furious at the injustice of it. 66 00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:40,583 [banging, yelling continues] 67 00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:42,166 And, uh, then, really, 68 00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:44,542 for the first time in my life, I actually began 69 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,250 to take a real and practical interest 70 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:47,208 in the homeless. 71 00:03:47,291 --> 00:03:50,000 Fuck off, pisshead! 72 00:03:51,834 --> 00:03:55,083 - I'd like to introduce to you Alexander Masters, 73 00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:57,542 a dedicated friend of the homeless himself, 74 00:03:57,625 --> 00:03:59,375 chairman of the campaign. 75 00:03:59,458 --> 00:04:02,417 [applause] 76 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,083 - Well, we were convinced they'd never be convicted. 77 00:04:05,166 --> 00:04:07,458 I mean, if prisons can't control drugs, 78 00:04:07,542 --> 00:04:10,208 than how could Ruth and John be expected to? 79 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,166 - As everyone knows, we're here this evening 80 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,917 about Ruth Wyner and John... 81 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,750 - The judge, Justice Howarth, 82 00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:16,959 sent them down... 83 00:04:17,041 --> 00:04:19,417 - For five years and four years. 84 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,125 - A shame. - Thank you. 85 00:04:21,208 --> 00:04:23,917 - Fascists. - Thank you. 86 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,542 But this is the crunch. 87 00:04:25,625 --> 00:04:27,750 What are we going to do about it? 88 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,917 How is this campaign going to get Ruth and John out? 89 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,250 Yes. 90 00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:33,750 - We could send them books. 91 00:04:33,834 --> 00:04:35,458 Bunyan. He's good for prisons. 92 00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:36,959 - Hardly. [chuckles] 93 00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:39,417 "Miracle of the Rose" by Genet, if you must... 94 00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:41,750 - This is the 21st century... - Excuse me. 95 00:04:41,834 --> 00:04:44,625 This isn't gonna work. 96 00:04:44,709 --> 00:04:48,750 Sending them books, eh? 97 00:04:48,834 --> 00:04:51,417 They won't fit in the box. 98 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,625 - Sorry? 99 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,875 - For the inmate's belongings. 100 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:57,959 Eh? 101 00:04:58,041 --> 00:05:00,125 Everyone's got one. 102 00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:01,417 - Who is that? 103 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:04,125 - All right in Whitemoor... - No idea. 104 00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:06,291 They all look the same to me. 105 00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:09,000 - ...You're always allowed a piece of carpet 106 00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:12,542 what won't fit in your box, 107 00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:15,417 and a budgie. 108 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,500 Or--or a canary. 109 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:22,208 And obviously, the cage is not going to fit in the box. 110 00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:26,166 But it is Ruth and John that will suffer. 111 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:29,625 [drumroll] [canary whistles] 112 00:05:29,709 --> 00:05:33,458 [canary squawks] 113 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:35,333 All of them books, 114 00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,583 the screws'll just chuck 'em out 115 00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:41,667 'cause they won't fit in your box. 116 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:45,417 I'm not being funny, but you should really know about boxes 117 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:49,709 if you're gonna have a campaign. 118 00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:56,917 Me name's Psycho. 119 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,333 But you can call me Stuart, if you like. 120 00:06:00,417 --> 00:06:03,208 - Um, what's your address? 121 00:06:03,291 --> 00:06:05,500 - Um... 122 00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:08,875 Two Laurel Lane. 123 00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:11,959 Yeah, they helped me. 124 00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:14,959 Doctors, a couple of clothes, 125 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:19,041 outreach, sometimes lunch with two puddings. 126 00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:20,375 [playful jazz music] 127 00:06:20,458 --> 00:06:23,375 Yeah, they put it all on, those two. 128 00:06:23,458 --> 00:06:25,458 And the staff. 129 00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:26,417 [wheezes] 130 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:29,000 I'm not being funny here. 131 00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:31,375 But I am really grateful. 132 00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:34,375 - Mm. 133 00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:37,667 - The other day I got a really lovely head massage. 134 00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:39,792 - Ooh, great. - Yeah. 135 00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:42,041 ♪ ♪ 136 00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:43,792 Can I help? - Uh, yeah, um... 137 00:06:43,875 --> 00:06:46,667 That's how I first met Stuart Shorter. 138 00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:50,375 Street brawler, alcoholic, heroin addict, 139 00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:52,625 sociopathic street raconteur 140 00:06:52,709 --> 00:06:54,208 with a fondness for what he called 141 00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:56,458 "little strips of silver," 142 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:57,917 knives to you and me. 143 00:06:58,041 --> 00:06:59,792 - [breathing heavily] 144 00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:05,083 ♪ ♪ 145 00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:09,083 [grunts] 146 00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:11,250 ♪ ♪ 147 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:12,750 Oh, okay. 148 00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:15,125 - Thank you very much for agreeing to store these. 149 00:07:15,208 --> 00:07:18,583 - Oh, no, no problem. 150 00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:20,917 ♪ ♪ 151 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,250 Oh. [grunts] 152 00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:25,250 [breathing heavily] 153 00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:27,000 Mind the step. 154 00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:29,250 Over here. 155 00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:32,083 Here you go, mate. 156 00:07:32,166 --> 00:07:36,458 Welcome to my humble abode. 157 00:07:36,542 --> 00:07:38,834 To your right. 158 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,458 What? 159 00:07:40,542 --> 00:07:43,667 They are laurels, aren't they? 160 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,750 [grunts] 161 00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:48,166 I only heard about the meeting this morning 162 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:51,000 when I was picking up my breakfast. 163 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:53,500 [moans] 164 00:07:53,583 --> 00:07:55,792 Your address? - Mm. 165 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,792 - Well, bad idea number one, mate. 166 00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:00,500 You could get any old riff raff showing up. 167 00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:02,542 [clicks tongue] [mutters] 168 00:08:02,625 --> 00:08:05,125 [mail slot creaks] 169 00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:06,917 [knocking on door] [bell rings] 170 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:11,291 [moans] 171 00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:12,792 [bell ringing] 172 00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:14,458 - Yes? 173 00:08:14,542 --> 00:08:16,208 - Uh. 174 00:08:16,291 --> 00:08:19,125 - It's you. 175 00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:23,542 - I've addressed some envelopes. 176 00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:25,083 - Um. 177 00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:27,125 - [moans] 178 00:08:27,208 --> 00:08:31,333 - Which, uh-- - They all right? 179 00:08:31,417 --> 00:08:33,000 - Horrible. 180 00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:36,583 - I've had a blinding idea for the campaign. 181 00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:39,500 Yeah, get us on television and all. 182 00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:41,667 Not even violent. 183 00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:44,500 If we leave out the kidnapping. 184 00:08:44,583 --> 00:08:48,583 Uh... 185 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,834 - Do you want to come in? - Oh, yes, please. 186 00:08:53,917 --> 00:08:56,500 A bit wet out there. 187 00:08:56,583 --> 00:08:59,750 Ooh! That's nice. 188 00:09:11,959 --> 00:09:14,709 Mm! 189 00:09:14,792 --> 00:09:16,583 [percussive music] 190 00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:21,041 - How many sugars? - As many as you got, mate. 191 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,375 [moans] Mm-mmm. 192 00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,500 ♪ ♪ 193 00:09:25,583 --> 00:09:27,208 Uh-huh. 194 00:09:27,291 --> 00:09:29,166 ♪ ♪ 195 00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,875 [door slams] 196 00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:33,959 [percussive music intensifies] 197 00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:39,125 ♪ ♪ 198 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:41,959 Oh. 199 00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:44,625 [squeals] Oh. 200 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:48,291 [hisses] Oh. 201 00:09:51,834 --> 00:09:54,333 [sighs] 202 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:03,333 H--hot. 203 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,500 All them books, eh? 204 00:10:10,834 --> 00:10:12,542 Have you read all of them? 205 00:10:12,625 --> 00:10:14,083 - No. 206 00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:17,083 - Half? 207 00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:18,417 - Not exactly. 208 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,875 - Ah. 209 00:10:20,959 --> 00:10:24,500 "The Hunting Wasp." 210 00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:29,417 A whole book about them little summer things. 211 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:33,208 Ooh. 212 00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:36,458 This one... 213 00:10:36,542 --> 00:10:39,834 What is this one about? 214 00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:44,041 - The color mauve. 215 00:10:44,834 --> 00:10:47,333 - Wow. 216 00:10:47,417 --> 00:10:51,583 How do you fucking get away with this? 217 00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:55,125 Mm. 218 00:10:55,208 --> 00:10:58,166 [light orchestral music] 219 00:10:58,250 --> 00:10:59,959 ♪ ♪ 220 00:11:00,041 --> 00:11:02,375 Now, 221 00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:04,959 this blinding idea. 222 00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:07,500 Have you got a car? 223 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:08,709 - No. 224 00:11:08,792 --> 00:11:12,625 - What do you like better, 225 00:11:12,709 --> 00:11:15,583 Ford or VW? 226 00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:19,875 ♪ ♪ 227 00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:22,959 - And then a few weeks later, I had the idea about the book, 228 00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:26,917 and started doing a little research. 229 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,500 - That boy has suffered. 230 00:11:29,583 --> 00:11:32,834 He deserves a book. 231 00:11:32,917 --> 00:11:36,000 You should write a book about me. 232 00:11:36,083 --> 00:11:38,500 - Always such a caring boy. 233 00:11:38,583 --> 00:11:41,291 Happy-go-lucky little thing. [chuckles] 234 00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:44,500 Legs all over the show. Bless him. 235 00:11:44,583 --> 00:11:45,959 - Three months after that, 236 00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:48,000 we carried out Stuart's blinding idea, 237 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:51,291 which was a sleepover protest in front of the Home Office 238 00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:53,709 to persuade the then Home Secretary, Jack Straw, 239 00:11:53,792 --> 00:11:56,250 to release Ruth and John, 240 00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,041 which was better than his first idea, 241 00:11:58,125 --> 00:12:00,417 which was to kidnap him. 242 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:04,542 Stuart took care of our transport. 243 00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:06,375 Somehow. 244 00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:08,583 And on the way to London, 245 00:12:08,667 --> 00:12:10,917 I read him the first few pages of my book idea. 246 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,417 "Stuart Clive Shorter was a happy-go-lucky little boy." 247 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,000 - Ah. 248 00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:17,375 - "'The most considerate of my children,' marvels his mother." 249 00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:20,542 - Bollocks. Boring. 250 00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:23,875 Why do you wanna write this fucking book anyway? 251 00:12:23,959 --> 00:12:26,458 - To make lots and lots and lots of money. 252 00:12:26,542 --> 00:12:27,667 - Seriously? 253 00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:29,917 You think you'll make money out of it? 254 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,333 - [chuckles] I could, maybe. 255 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,500 - Something as boring as that? 256 00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:34,125 - Don't be so rude. 257 00:12:34,208 --> 00:12:36,250 Anyway, it's not my fault that you started out so dull. 258 00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:37,667 - Mm. 259 00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:40,583 Ah, you--you gotta make it more exciting. 260 00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:42,959 ♪ ♪ 261 00:12:43,041 --> 00:12:44,709 Do it backwards. 262 00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:47,625 Like a murder mystery. 263 00:12:47,709 --> 00:12:49,083 Like a bestseller. 264 00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:52,041 You know, write like what Tom Clancy writes. 265 00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:54,875 Yeah, how did I get to be like this? 266 00:12:54,959 --> 00:12:59,083 What murdered the little boy I was? 267 00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:03,458 Make them nine-to-fives sit up. 268 00:13:03,542 --> 00:13:05,834 - [chuckles] 269 00:13:05,917 --> 00:13:09,542 ♪ ♪ 270 00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:11,417 - I mean, 271 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:14,625 you put ten socks in the washing machine, 272 00:13:14,709 --> 00:13:16,000 and only seven come out. 273 00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,959 Where do they go? - Stuart. 274 00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:19,333 - I'll tell you another thing and all... 275 00:13:19,417 --> 00:13:21,083 - Stuart. - You take the machine apart. 276 00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:23,041 And they ain't in it either. - Stuart. 277 00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:24,125 - What? - What's this? 278 00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:26,166 - What? - This. 279 00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:27,917 - Ooh. 280 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,250 That, Alexander, is a lice. 281 00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:33,834 [horn honks] - Hey, look out! 282 00:13:33,917 --> 00:13:37,125 [tires squeal] 283 00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:41,000 - The main place you get those is 'round your bollocks. 284 00:13:41,083 --> 00:13:42,917 ♪ ♪ 285 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,667 That lice, that'll grow. 286 00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:50,000 Scabies are smaller, 287 00:13:50,083 --> 00:13:51,750 and they goes under the skin, 288 00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:56,709 and live there, literally nibbling. 289 00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:59,667 Oh, yeah. 290 00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:03,250 - It took 5 1/2 hours for our convoy to do the 50 miles 291 00:14:03,333 --> 00:14:05,375 from Cambridge to London. 292 00:14:05,458 --> 00:14:10,417 Stuart would never drive above 30 miles an hour. 293 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,917 - Mm, Buckingham Palace. 294 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,834 [sneers] 295 00:14:14,917 --> 00:14:17,834 What a load of bullocks! 296 00:14:17,917 --> 00:14:19,625 Eh? 297 00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:21,333 Who needs the Queen? 298 00:14:21,417 --> 00:14:25,542 [blows raspberries] 299 00:14:26,542 --> 00:14:31,250 [overlapping chatter] 300 00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:33,500 Oh, no, no, no, no. 301 00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:34,583 No, not like that. 302 00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:36,417 - What? - Use this? 303 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,458 Right underneath. Yeah? 304 00:14:38,542 --> 00:14:40,041 - Oh. - Here you are. 305 00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:44,166 You lose more heat that way than you do that way. 306 00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,208 [all chanting] Ruth and John need these-- 307 00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:48,375 eyes in the back of their heads! 308 00:14:48,458 --> 00:14:50,750 End Blair's police state now! [whistle peals] 309 00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:52,709 Ruth and John need these-- eyes in the back... 310 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,041 - Two people have been wrongfully imprisoned 311 00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:55,583 for working at a charity 312 00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:57,333 and doing nothing but trying to help the homeless. 313 00:14:57,417 --> 00:14:59,250 [chanting] 314 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,458 - Charity workers imprisoned because of a miscarriage of-- 315 00:15:02,542 --> 00:15:03,959 Oh, fuck off. 316 00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:05,875 [crowd chanting] Ruth and John need these... 317 00:15:05,959 --> 00:15:08,542 - Okay. - It's an injustice... 318 00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:10,417 - Eh? Yeah, that's right... [camera shutter clicks] 319 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:11,875 - Thank you, ma'am. Thank you. 320 00:15:11,959 --> 00:15:15,083 - Ow, for fuck's sake. 321 00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:17,041 Fuck off. 322 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,750 [accordion playing] 323 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:21,667 Charity workers imprisoned for miscarriage of justice... 324 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:24,500 - Okay, listen up, everyone. 325 00:15:24,583 --> 00:15:26,333 Okay, everyone, listen up. 326 00:15:26,417 --> 00:15:28,750 Everyone, please, quiet, please. 327 00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:30,000 Everyone, we need you to move this way. 328 00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:31,583 Thank you. - Wait a minute. 329 00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:33,250 Hold on, hold on, why? This is a peaceful protest. 330 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:34,875 - Yeah, fucking why? 331 00:15:34,959 --> 00:15:36,250 - You can't cross these brass plugs 332 00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:37,667 if the Home Office doesn't want it. 333 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:39,125 - That's social fucking fascism, that is. 334 00:15:39,208 --> 00:15:40,667 - And there we must put a fence in behind you 335 00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:42,750 to ensure you're not trespassing. 336 00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:45,291 And ones on either side to protect you. 337 00:15:45,375 --> 00:15:47,250 - What? 338 00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:50,166 - Uh, from the public, sir. They might step on you. 339 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,083 And a fence in front, just in case during the night 340 00:15:53,166 --> 00:15:54,834 you roll onto the road and get run over. 341 00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:57,417 - I see. So you mean to cage us in completely? 342 00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,583 - I didn't say cage, sir, no. 343 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:03,834 That was your word. 344 00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:11,083 - Do prisoners really get wages? 345 00:16:11,166 --> 00:16:13,291 - Yeah. 346 00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:15,458 - I mean, a lot, like normal people? 347 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,375 - They make a fucking fortune. 348 00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:22,917 Millionaires coming out the nick every week. 349 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,750 [door clanks open] 350 00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:27,125 [grunts, chuckles] 351 00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:29,125 [growls] 352 00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:30,875 [door clanks closed] 353 00:16:30,959 --> 00:16:32,542 - You've been in a lot of prisons, then? 354 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:33,792 - Have I. 355 00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:36,917 Fuck, yeah, I know. 356 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,291 - How many? 357 00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:41,333 - Well, [moans], 358 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:44,542 uh... 359 00:16:46,083 --> 00:16:47,750 Oh, 360 00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:49,208 well, 361 00:16:49,291 --> 00:16:50,959 sort of, 362 00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:53,959 when I was a nipper, there was Send detention center. 363 00:16:54,041 --> 00:16:55,291 Ah! - Let go. 364 00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:56,542 Let go of it. [tense music] 365 00:16:56,625 --> 00:16:58,083 - Baintnow House. 366 00:16:58,166 --> 00:16:59,375 Back to Send again. 367 00:16:59,458 --> 00:17:01,291 [heads thump] Ah! 368 00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:03,333 Eriestoke. Norwich. 369 00:17:03,417 --> 00:17:05,834 [grunting] 370 00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:08,917 Then I grew up and went to big boy prison. 371 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,166 ♪ ♪ 372 00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:13,667 Whitemoor. 373 00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:17,166 Ah, now that's what I call a real prison. 374 00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:20,166 You've got everything there, mate. 375 00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:22,208 Terrorists, 376 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,709 psychopaths, 377 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:27,208 security threats, murderers, 378 00:17:27,291 --> 00:17:30,375 manslaughters, crazies-- 379 00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:32,583 - Which lot do you belong to? - Uh-oh. 380 00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:35,125 Mm... 381 00:17:35,208 --> 00:17:39,166 Oh, crazies, really. Um, yeah. 382 00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,542 [blows thump] Norwich... 383 00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:44,458 ...Whitemoor again... - Fucking hell! 384 00:17:44,542 --> 00:17:46,709 - ...Grendon Underwood. 385 00:17:46,792 --> 00:17:50,333 Die, you fucking nonce. 386 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,083 31. 387 00:17:52,166 --> 00:17:54,709 ♪ ♪ 388 00:17:54,792 --> 00:17:57,250 I don't think I missed any. 389 00:17:57,333 --> 00:18:01,500 ♪ ♪ 390 00:18:01,583 --> 00:18:02,750 Oh, yes, I have, actually. 391 00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:05,500 I've been to Leicester three times as well. 392 00:18:05,583 --> 00:18:08,250 ♪ ♪ 393 00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:11,542 Wayland was me last one. 394 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,917 - Good night. Sleep well. 395 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,709 - Thank you. Same to you. 396 00:18:21,792 --> 00:18:23,083 - Oi, you. 397 00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:28,250 Since you got so much fucking time on your hands, 398 00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:30,834 answer this one. 399 00:18:30,917 --> 00:18:36,041 Do you know how many people get killed by screws in prison 400 00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:37,917 every year? 401 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,500 Murders. 402 00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:41,041 Oh, sorry, gov. 403 00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:42,417 Excuse us. 404 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,917 How was we supposed to know that bending him in half 405 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,583 the wrong fucking way 406 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,750 was bad for his health? 407 00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:52,125 There's only people like me what's really rotten in here. 408 00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:55,750 Really bad, beyond hope. 409 00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:58,166 You haven't got the faintest fucking clue, have you? 410 00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,458 Huh? 411 00:18:59,542 --> 00:19:00,667 - Stuart, all he said was good night. 412 00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:02,083 - And you can fuck off and all, 413 00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:03,458 you fucking geeky... 414 00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,166 - Why don't you shut up yourself, Stuart? 415 00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:10,291 - You fucking wanky, middle-class cunt fuck. 416 00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:12,041 Alexander. 417 00:19:12,125 --> 00:19:14,417 You wanna know how I became what I am? 418 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:18,583 I'm giving you fucking answers. 419 00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:20,125 Eh? Why-- 420 00:19:20,208 --> 00:19:24,709 why do you write a book with no fucking answers? 421 00:19:24,792 --> 00:19:26,417 Eh? 422 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,667 Yeah. 423 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,083 Well, you fuck off. 424 00:19:31,166 --> 00:19:35,041 You find your fucking answers. 425 00:19:35,125 --> 00:19:38,166 [stirring orchestral music] 426 00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:45,291 ♪ ♪ 427 00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:52,542 - On a scale of anger, one to ten, 428 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,500 I'm probably on four, 429 00:19:54,583 --> 00:19:56,667 and Stuart's on 11. 430 00:19:56,750 --> 00:20:00,125 - You never can tell 431 00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:01,667 how families have been down, 432 00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,792 and they've been up and they've been down again. 433 00:20:03,875 --> 00:20:07,750 J--j--just like Stuart, you know? 434 00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:11,458 Drugs, prison, being a beggar. 435 00:20:11,542 --> 00:20:12,875 ♪ ♪ 436 00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:16,542 - Go on, go on. 437 00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:19,750 Ah, eh. [liquid pattering] 438 00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:21,500 [chuckles] - Ah! 439 00:20:21,583 --> 00:20:23,291 [laughter] 440 00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:24,959 - Yeah, mate. 441 00:20:25,041 --> 00:20:27,041 - Bastards! - Morning. 442 00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:28,333 [laughter] 443 00:20:28,417 --> 00:20:31,333 - Oh, eh, like the taste of piss, eh? 444 00:20:31,417 --> 00:20:32,500 [laughter] 445 00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:35,375 - Stupid bastard. [chuckles] 446 00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:36,834 - Something smells nice. 447 00:20:36,917 --> 00:20:38,166 [laughter] 448 00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:40,875 - After three months of preparation. 449 00:20:40,959 --> 00:20:42,875 [laughter] 450 00:20:42,959 --> 00:20:45,041 Whose bloody stupid idea was it that we camp out 451 00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:46,417 over the weekend anyway? 452 00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:48,834 The one time Mr. Straw's not gonna be there. 453 00:20:48,917 --> 00:20:50,375 I bet it was yours. 454 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:53,166 - Oh, fuck off. - [chuckles] 455 00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,417 [Babybird's "You're Gorgeous" playing] 456 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,208 [laughter] 457 00:20:57,291 --> 00:20:59,583 - ♪ You rubbed an ice cube on my chest ♪ 458 00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:03,917 - Oh, I like this song. - This is a good song. 459 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:08,500 - ♪ Because... ♪ both: ♪ You're gorgeous ♪ 460 00:21:08,583 --> 00:21:12,083 ♪ I'd do anything for you ♪ 461 00:21:12,166 --> 00:21:16,583 ♪ Because you're gorgeous ♪ [horn honks] 462 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:20,083 ♪ I know you'll get me through ♪ 463 00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:21,875 - [chuckles] 464 00:21:21,959 --> 00:21:24,291 both: [mumbling song] 465 00:21:24,375 --> 00:21:28,458 - Still, one blimey thing did come out of that weekend. 466 00:21:28,542 --> 00:21:31,792 Stuart's idea that his life should be written backwards. 467 00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:38,834 ♪ ♪ 468 00:21:38,917 --> 00:21:41,250 [horn blares] 469 00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:47,250 - It was cutting me throat what done it. 470 00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:50,458 Put a beer glass into me neck. 471 00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:52,125 Just lost it. 472 00:21:52,208 --> 00:21:55,125 [tense music] 473 00:21:55,208 --> 00:21:57,208 [crowd chatter] 474 00:21:57,291 --> 00:21:58,875 [screams] 475 00:21:59,417 --> 00:22:02,625 Sometimes you wouldn't believe how hard it is 476 00:22:02,709 --> 00:22:05,709 to fucking die. 477 00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:07,291 - So you got a council flat 478 00:22:07,375 --> 00:22:09,834 because you tried to kill yourself? 479 00:22:09,917 --> 00:22:12,750 - Works a treat for the old housing points, doesn't it? 480 00:22:12,834 --> 00:22:14,125 Whoosh. 481 00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:15,625 Straight to the top of the list. 482 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:18,291 - [chuckles] 483 00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:20,417 - It's not all gone, though. 484 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:23,417 - What's not all gone? 485 00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:26,000 - The hatred. 486 00:22:26,083 --> 00:22:29,250 I got so many enemies. 487 00:22:29,333 --> 00:22:32,291 Up here, mate. 488 00:22:32,375 --> 00:22:33,959 Somebody's gonna get hurt, though. 489 00:22:34,041 --> 00:22:36,041 That's what scares me. 490 00:22:36,125 --> 00:22:40,000 - When's this thing gonna happen? 491 00:22:40,083 --> 00:22:43,667 - I call it me black mist. 492 00:22:43,750 --> 00:22:45,041 - Next week? 493 00:22:45,125 --> 00:22:46,709 Next month? 494 00:22:46,792 --> 00:22:49,208 Next ten seconds? 495 00:22:49,291 --> 00:22:50,834 - Eh. 496 00:22:50,917 --> 00:22:53,875 [calm jazz music] 497 00:22:53,959 --> 00:23:01,125 ♪ ♪ 498 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,709 [grunts] 499 00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:16,041 Oh. 500 00:23:16,125 --> 00:23:21,208 That is a lovely bit of workmanship. 501 00:23:21,291 --> 00:23:23,417 Isn't it? 502 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:25,834 Eh, uh. 503 00:23:25,917 --> 00:23:27,250 [furniture creaks] 504 00:23:27,333 --> 00:23:30,959 Ooh, that's value. 505 00:23:31,041 --> 00:23:33,291 That's value. 506 00:23:35,125 --> 00:23:36,959 Oh, God. 507 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:41,333 This for the series... 508 00:23:41,750 --> 00:23:42,875 [shuddering breath] 509 00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:45,959 Yes. 510 00:23:46,041 --> 00:23:47,291 Wow. 511 00:23:47,375 --> 00:23:53,500 ♪ ♪ 512 00:23:53,583 --> 00:23:56,458 Ah. 513 00:23:56,542 --> 00:24:00,667 For my son. 514 00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:02,625 - You've got a son? 515 00:24:02,709 --> 00:24:04,709 - Yeah. 516 00:24:04,792 --> 00:24:07,750 In Glasgow, with his mum. 517 00:24:07,834 --> 00:24:08,875 [golf ball plinks] 518 00:24:08,959 --> 00:24:12,417 14 years of age tomorrow. 519 00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:15,458 Always out on the golf course, the little 'un. 520 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:16,834 Hey. 521 00:24:16,917 --> 00:24:20,625 ♪ ♪ 522 00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:22,792 Eh. 523 00:24:22,875 --> 00:24:24,458 Not bad, eh, mate? 524 00:24:24,542 --> 00:24:27,542 Not bad at all, eh? [grunts] 525 00:24:27,625 --> 00:24:33,166 ♪ ♪ 526 00:24:33,250 --> 00:24:35,375 [can pops open] 527 00:24:39,792 --> 00:24:41,000 Eh. 528 00:24:41,083 --> 00:24:45,375 Whoo! Wine always smells like sick. 529 00:24:45,458 --> 00:24:48,542 Here have a beer. 530 00:24:48,625 --> 00:24:50,583 [moans] 531 00:24:52,834 --> 00:24:56,125 Fancy a sarnie? 532 00:24:56,208 --> 00:25:00,250 ♪ ♪ 533 00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:03,166 [sizzling] 534 00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:06,291 Ah, there. 535 00:25:06,375 --> 00:25:10,583 [hums] 536 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,000 [spooky music] 537 00:25:21,083 --> 00:25:22,709 Oh. 538 00:25:22,792 --> 00:25:25,667 [whimpering] 539 00:25:25,750 --> 00:25:27,875 Ow. 540 00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:31,542 So why'd you wanna be a writer then? 541 00:25:31,625 --> 00:25:33,500 - I don't know, really. 542 00:25:33,583 --> 00:25:36,834 A bit like a disease. All my family's got it. 543 00:25:36,917 --> 00:25:38,917 Didn't wanna be left out, did I? 544 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,959 - Yeah, I know what you mean, mate. 545 00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:44,041 Me dad is a thief. 546 00:25:44,125 --> 00:25:48,375 And, um, me mum's a barmaid. 547 00:25:48,458 --> 00:25:52,333 - What's the color orange highlighter in your diary for? 548 00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:56,333 - Family stuff. 549 00:25:56,417 --> 00:26:00,500 - Yellow? - Social. 550 00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:06,208 [moans] 551 00:26:06,291 --> 00:26:08,458 You know what? 552 00:26:08,542 --> 00:26:11,417 This book that you're writing 553 00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:14,709 about me, 554 00:26:14,792 --> 00:26:18,125 is it just to make your name? 555 00:26:18,208 --> 00:26:21,291 - And yours. 556 00:26:22,917 --> 00:26:27,583 - I've, uh, had an idea for a job too. 557 00:26:27,667 --> 00:26:30,959 - Mm. 558 00:26:31,041 --> 00:26:33,458 - For the foreign businessman, 559 00:26:33,542 --> 00:26:37,417 what doesn't have time to waste, 560 00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:40,625 what does he need? 561 00:26:40,709 --> 00:26:43,250 An office. Yeah. 562 00:26:43,333 --> 00:26:47,375 In a van. 563 00:26:49,375 --> 00:26:52,417 It's lateral thinking, isn't it? 564 00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:54,917 Gets off the plane at Stansted, 565 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,041 straight into the back of me van. 566 00:26:58,125 --> 00:27:01,083 The van will have everything. 567 00:27:01,166 --> 00:27:04,417 Good-looking bird, what can do shorthand. 568 00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:07,291 Fax, internet, 569 00:27:07,375 --> 00:27:10,625 wires all over the fucking gaff. 570 00:27:10,709 --> 00:27:13,250 It's brilliant. 571 00:27:13,333 --> 00:27:16,125 Red sauce or brown? 572 00:27:16,208 --> 00:27:17,291 - Uh, yes, please. 573 00:27:17,375 --> 00:27:20,041 I mean, uh, red. - What--what's... 574 00:27:20,125 --> 00:27:23,333 Oh, yeah, that fellow upstairs 575 00:27:23,417 --> 00:27:27,625 is gonna make me a bed what folds up against the wall, 576 00:27:27,709 --> 00:27:29,750 like what James Bond has. 577 00:27:29,834 --> 00:27:31,291 - Oh. - Yeah. 578 00:27:31,375 --> 00:27:33,417 And it's got to have, um, 579 00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:36,125 springs and, uh, latches 580 00:27:36,208 --> 00:27:37,834 on the--on the floor. 581 00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:41,000 Otherwise it's boing, boing, whoosh, isn't it? 582 00:27:41,083 --> 00:27:43,542 - Boing, boing, whoosh? 583 00:27:43,625 --> 00:27:45,041 - Well, yeah, I mean, 584 00:27:45,125 --> 00:27:47,417 bird's not gonna be too happy 585 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,083 if she gets her face 586 00:27:49,166 --> 00:27:52,000 squeezed up against the plaster, is she? 587 00:27:52,083 --> 00:27:54,291 - [snorts] - Ah. 588 00:27:54,375 --> 00:27:57,291 Hey. - [moans] 589 00:27:57,375 --> 00:27:59,917 [bed boings] [screams] 590 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,458 - Sorry. 591 00:28:01,542 --> 00:28:02,750 Mm. 592 00:28:02,834 --> 00:28:04,959 Good stuff, that. 593 00:28:05,041 --> 00:28:08,458 You can use it with anything. 594 00:28:08,542 --> 00:28:10,166 See there around the bed? 595 00:28:10,250 --> 00:28:15,000 Look, there should be a huge stain 596 00:28:15,083 --> 00:28:17,750 where I overdosed there last week. 597 00:28:17,834 --> 00:28:20,000 And all the spilled cans and the vomit, 598 00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:25,333 and, uh, that cleaned it up really, really well, I say. 599 00:28:25,417 --> 00:28:26,750 Mm. 600 00:28:26,834 --> 00:28:28,041 But you want to, um, 601 00:28:28,125 --> 00:28:33,208 well, leave it, uh, for about, um, 602 00:28:33,291 --> 00:28:34,542 about a week. 603 00:28:34,625 --> 00:28:37,542 I mean, before you vacuum. 604 00:28:37,625 --> 00:28:40,542 [light jazz music] 605 00:28:40,625 --> 00:28:46,041 ♪ ♪ 606 00:28:46,125 --> 00:28:50,917 [ketchup bottle squirts] 607 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:55,375 ♪ ♪ 608 00:28:55,458 --> 00:28:58,542 Oh. 609 00:28:58,625 --> 00:29:02,041 Yeah. 610 00:29:02,125 --> 00:29:04,834 [indistinct mumbling] 611 00:29:04,917 --> 00:29:07,875 Here you are, mate. 612 00:29:07,959 --> 00:29:10,291 ♪ ♪ 613 00:29:10,375 --> 00:29:14,250 Be careful, yeah? It's a bit hot. 614 00:29:14,333 --> 00:29:21,375 ♪ ♪ 615 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:30,125 - I never asked you why you were in prison. 616 00:29:30,208 --> 00:29:33,250 - The last time? 617 00:29:33,333 --> 00:29:35,583 Stupid things. 618 00:29:35,667 --> 00:29:38,250 Me mate, Smithy, 619 00:29:38,333 --> 00:29:40,834 world bubblegum champion. 620 00:29:40,917 --> 00:29:42,542 I'm not being funny. 621 00:29:42,625 --> 00:29:46,917 He's in "The Guinness Book of Records." 622 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,667 1983 edition, as it goes. 623 00:29:50,750 --> 00:29:55,208 Like brothers fighting the world. 624 00:29:55,291 --> 00:29:59,959 Respect, trust, and honor. 625 00:30:00,041 --> 00:30:01,000 [bubblegum pops] 626 00:30:01,083 --> 00:30:03,667 [engine revving] 627 00:30:03,750 --> 00:30:04,792 Whoa! [tires squeal] 628 00:30:04,875 --> 00:30:07,250 [smashing] 629 00:30:07,333 --> 00:30:09,458 - Go, go, go, go, go! [alarm bell ringing] 630 00:30:09,542 --> 00:30:11,125 [surf rock music] 631 00:30:11,208 --> 00:30:12,458 - Right. 632 00:30:12,542 --> 00:30:19,125 ♪ ♪ 633 00:30:19,208 --> 00:30:20,291 Ow. 634 00:30:20,375 --> 00:30:26,125 ♪ ♪ 635 00:30:26,208 --> 00:30:30,125 [police sirens wailing] 636 00:30:30,208 --> 00:30:31,959 - Ah, fuck. 637 00:30:32,041 --> 00:30:33,542 Did you get menthols? 638 00:30:33,625 --> 00:30:35,291 - Menthols? Fuck off. 639 00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:37,917 - She'll fucking kill me. She asked for menthols. 640 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,375 - Well, give her the vodka. 641 00:30:39,458 --> 00:30:43,125 - She don't want vodka. She wants menthols. 642 00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:44,750 [tires screech] 643 00:30:44,834 --> 00:30:47,834 [engine revs, tires screech] 644 00:30:47,917 --> 00:30:52,417 ♪ ♪ 645 00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:54,000 - Ow! 646 00:30:54,083 --> 00:30:55,667 - Go, go, go, go, go. 647 00:30:55,750 --> 00:30:57,500 I don't believe it. 648 00:30:57,583 --> 00:30:59,291 These aren't fucking menthols either. 649 00:30:59,375 --> 00:31:00,750 They're just in a green packet. 650 00:31:00,834 --> 00:31:03,959 I've got ten packets of green cigarettes. 651 00:31:04,041 --> 00:31:06,834 [tires screech] 652 00:31:06,917 --> 00:31:09,250 - Hurry up. 653 00:31:09,333 --> 00:31:12,250 - 25 quid, 60? 654 00:31:12,333 --> 00:31:13,750 Women. 655 00:31:13,834 --> 00:31:16,500 They think they can boss you about in everything, 656 00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:17,709 don't they? 657 00:31:17,792 --> 00:31:20,333 - Then one day, 658 00:31:20,417 --> 00:31:22,542 Smithy got a tip-off. 659 00:31:22,625 --> 00:31:25,667 [birds chirping] 660 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,625 20,000 quid? 661 00:31:28,709 --> 00:31:30,500 - Just keeps it under the counter. 662 00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:33,041 Not a cop shop in 20 miles. - Oh. 663 00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:35,625 Fucking... 664 00:31:35,709 --> 00:31:38,125 That's fucking irresponsible. 665 00:31:38,208 --> 00:31:41,500 - No pride of ownership. - Yeah. 666 00:31:46,125 --> 00:31:48,709 - Well, go, go, go, go, go. Go, go, go! 667 00:31:48,792 --> 00:31:52,041 [surf rock music] 668 00:31:52,125 --> 00:31:53,875 - Right. 669 00:31:53,959 --> 00:31:54,875 [groans] 670 00:31:54,959 --> 00:31:59,834 ♪ ♪ 671 00:31:59,917 --> 00:32:03,792 [screaming] - [shrieking] 672 00:32:03,875 --> 00:32:06,291 - Let's just say it was funny, 673 00:32:06,375 --> 00:32:08,750 because as soon as we was sent down, 674 00:32:08,834 --> 00:32:11,166 Smithy's missus moved in with the fellow 675 00:32:11,250 --> 00:32:13,000 what told us about the job. 676 00:32:13,083 --> 00:32:14,542 ♪ ♪ 677 00:32:14,625 --> 00:32:15,917 Five years. 678 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,750 [grunting] 679 00:32:18,834 --> 00:32:21,709 - Pretty steep sentence. 680 00:32:21,792 --> 00:32:26,208 Were you armed? - No. 681 00:32:26,291 --> 00:32:28,709 Uh... 682 00:32:28,792 --> 00:32:31,208 Well, 683 00:32:31,291 --> 00:32:32,542 only with a crowbar. 684 00:32:32,625 --> 00:32:34,250 [screaming] 685 00:32:34,333 --> 00:32:35,792 - [shrieking] 686 00:32:35,875 --> 00:32:37,375 - There's been a development. 687 00:32:37,458 --> 00:32:39,208 - What sort of development? 688 00:32:39,291 --> 00:32:40,875 - Dan Sullivan moved his toothbrush 689 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,792 into my bathroom last night, and the rest. 690 00:32:43,875 --> 00:32:45,625 - You mean he's living in the fink? 691 00:32:45,709 --> 00:32:47,625 - Hey, Alexander? 692 00:32:47,709 --> 00:32:50,083 You wanna stay for tea? 693 00:32:50,166 --> 00:32:53,333 Me favorite, convict curry. 694 00:32:53,417 --> 00:32:56,542 We used to make it in jail. 695 00:32:57,709 --> 00:33:00,291 Mmm, mushrooms. 696 00:33:00,375 --> 00:33:02,875 - Mmm. 697 00:33:12,959 --> 00:33:14,375 What about the first time, then? 698 00:33:14,458 --> 00:33:16,792 - First time what? 699 00:33:16,875 --> 00:33:19,333 - Well, that you were sentenced as an adult. 700 00:33:19,417 --> 00:33:22,792 - Um. 701 00:33:22,875 --> 00:33:24,917 I don't know. 702 00:33:28,417 --> 00:33:30,834 I know. 703 00:33:30,917 --> 00:33:34,583 I can't... 704 00:33:34,667 --> 00:33:38,625 Uh, I can't really talk about that, mate. 705 00:33:42,458 --> 00:33:46,959 - But, I mean, robbing an empty post office is-- 706 00:33:47,041 --> 00:33:50,875 - Burgling. 707 00:33:50,959 --> 00:33:53,375 Rob people. 708 00:33:53,458 --> 00:33:55,333 Burgle post offices. 709 00:33:55,417 --> 00:33:56,917 - Yeah, but, no, wh--wh-- what I mean is, 710 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,500 it's hardly a schedule one offense, is it? 711 00:33:59,583 --> 00:34:03,375 - No, of course not. 712 00:34:03,458 --> 00:34:07,625 - Well, that's serious, isn't it? 713 00:34:07,709 --> 00:34:10,792 - Uh... 714 00:34:13,458 --> 00:34:15,041 [sniffles] 715 00:34:15,125 --> 00:34:18,083 [somber piano music] 716 00:34:18,166 --> 00:34:19,834 ♪ ♪ 717 00:34:19,917 --> 00:34:24,208 It wa--it wasn't kiddy fiddling. 718 00:34:24,291 --> 00:34:29,750 ♪ ♪ 719 00:34:29,834 --> 00:34:34,750 - I didn't say that it was. 720 00:34:34,834 --> 00:34:37,709 - It wasn't. 721 00:34:37,792 --> 00:34:43,125 ♪ ♪ 722 00:34:43,208 --> 00:34:46,250 We'll talk about it Thursday, yeah? 723 00:34:46,333 --> 00:34:48,667 ♪ ♪ 724 00:34:48,750 --> 00:34:52,917 Thursday afternoon. 725 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,125 [sniffles] 726 00:34:56,208 --> 00:34:58,834 No other time, right? 727 00:35:01,208 --> 00:35:04,917 - Finally, the mosaicist would carefully peel back the cloth, 728 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,333 and then--hey, presto-- 729 00:35:06,417 --> 00:35:09,000 an instant form. Fantastic. 730 00:35:09,083 --> 00:35:11,417 This mosaic section would arrive on a cloth backing. 731 00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:12,875 - Ooh. 732 00:35:12,959 --> 00:35:14,375 - I'm covering the reverse side with glue. 733 00:35:14,458 --> 00:35:15,709 The Romans would've used water. 734 00:35:15,792 --> 00:35:17,250 The most important design 735 00:35:17,333 --> 00:35:18,750 was usually in the middle of the room. 736 00:35:18,834 --> 00:35:20,542 We think this was the dining room. 737 00:35:20,625 --> 00:35:23,709 And you see, here is Cupid riding on a dolphin 738 00:35:23,792 --> 00:35:25,333 carrying a toasting fork. 739 00:35:25,417 --> 00:35:27,083 The mosaicist would work out through here 740 00:35:27,166 --> 00:35:28,625 towards the border, 741 00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:30,000 but he'd probably leave his minions 742 00:35:30,083 --> 00:35:31,667 to do the less important bits. 743 00:35:31,750 --> 00:35:33,417 Because if there were mistakes after that, 744 00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:35,625 they'd all get covered up by the furniture. 745 00:35:35,709 --> 00:35:38,375 - [moans] 746 00:35:38,458 --> 00:35:41,458 - ...Putting each tile one by one with great care. 747 00:35:41,542 --> 00:35:44,125 But I suspect it wasn't really like that at all. 748 00:35:44,208 --> 00:35:46,458 The Romans were very keen on short tiles. 749 00:35:46,542 --> 00:35:49,959 You could probably... - [moans] 750 00:35:50,041 --> 00:35:52,709 - ...And it may even have been... 751 00:35:52,792 --> 00:35:55,291 - When you mop, use the bread. 752 00:35:55,375 --> 00:35:58,291 Mop up your juices. 753 00:35:58,375 --> 00:36:01,291 [tender music] 754 00:36:01,375 --> 00:36:02,625 ♪ ♪ 755 00:36:02,709 --> 00:36:04,667 [giggles] 756 00:36:04,750 --> 00:36:07,500 Ah. 757 00:36:07,583 --> 00:36:10,000 [laughs] - [chuckles] 758 00:36:10,083 --> 00:36:11,500 Mmm. 759 00:36:11,583 --> 00:36:14,125 So, smash the window, 760 00:36:14,208 --> 00:36:15,500 break the steering wheel lock 761 00:36:15,583 --> 00:36:17,500 by turning the wheel in opposing directions. 762 00:36:17,583 --> 00:36:18,834 - Yeah. 763 00:36:18,917 --> 00:36:23,000 And if the street is too public to use a brick... 764 00:36:23,083 --> 00:36:24,583 - Slide stick. 765 00:36:24,667 --> 00:36:27,208 Remove the metal band from a pallet of bricks, 766 00:36:27,291 --> 00:36:28,291 reduce to 18 inches, 767 00:36:28,375 --> 00:36:29,959 remove a notch from one side, 768 00:36:30,041 --> 00:36:32,500 insert into door panel. [clicks tongue] 769 00:36:32,583 --> 00:36:34,166 B-kow! I'm in the post office. 770 00:36:34,250 --> 00:36:35,750 Boot in the rubble. 771 00:36:35,834 --> 00:36:39,000 - No, there's no point in ram-raiding a post office. 772 00:36:39,083 --> 00:36:40,000 - Why not? 773 00:36:40,083 --> 00:36:41,667 - Can't you pay no attention? 774 00:36:41,750 --> 00:36:45,041 There's no point in ram-raiding a fucking post office. 775 00:36:45,125 --> 00:36:47,875 There's never no money in the till, is there? 776 00:36:47,959 --> 00:36:51,041 [sighs] 777 00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:53,959 Gone are them days. 778 00:36:54,041 --> 00:36:56,041 - No money. 779 00:36:56,125 --> 00:36:57,333 ♪ ♪ 780 00:36:57,417 --> 00:36:59,250 - Oh. 781 00:36:59,333 --> 00:37:01,667 Here. 782 00:37:01,750 --> 00:37:03,208 Um... 783 00:37:03,291 --> 00:37:04,542 - No, no, no, no. 784 00:37:04,625 --> 00:37:05,750 - Oh, honestly. - I'll get a taxi. 785 00:37:05,834 --> 00:37:07,291 I'll stop at a bank on the way. 786 00:37:07,375 --> 00:37:08,875 - No, honestly, thank you. 787 00:37:08,959 --> 00:37:12,875 It's me beer money. You'd be doing me a favor. 788 00:37:12,959 --> 00:37:15,917 You'd be doing society a favor. 789 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,709 ♪ ♪ 790 00:37:17,792 --> 00:37:20,000 And buy a fucking car. 791 00:37:20,083 --> 00:37:22,500 - Get yourself a fucking license. 792 00:37:22,583 --> 00:37:24,291 - Mm. 793 00:37:24,375 --> 00:37:27,583 - Oh, I almost forgot. Here. 794 00:37:27,667 --> 00:37:29,291 I brought you this. 795 00:37:29,375 --> 00:37:32,875 - What? - For your black mists. 796 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,500 Thought you could talk into it next time you're in one. 797 00:37:35,583 --> 00:37:37,667 - Oh, wow. 798 00:37:37,750 --> 00:37:39,709 - You'll be okay? 799 00:37:39,792 --> 00:37:42,333 Call if you need any help. 800 00:37:42,417 --> 00:37:44,917 2:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m. Any time. 801 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,875 - Yeah, so you can bring a fucking camera. 802 00:37:48,959 --> 00:37:52,166 - [chuckles] 803 00:37:52,250 --> 00:37:55,333 - Oi. 804 00:37:55,417 --> 00:37:58,125 ♪ ♪ 805 00:37:58,208 --> 00:38:01,917 You're all right, Alexander. 806 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:07,041 ♪ ♪ 807 00:38:07,125 --> 00:38:09,125 [bus hisses] 808 00:38:15,583 --> 00:38:17,500 [static clicks] 809 00:38:19,875 --> 00:38:22,750 - I often used to say to Stuart, 810 00:38:22,834 --> 00:38:25,792 I wish I could just pick you up sometimes, 811 00:38:25,875 --> 00:38:27,583 turn you upside-down, and 812 00:38:27,667 --> 00:38:30,208 shake all the bad things out of your head, 813 00:38:30,291 --> 00:38:32,625 then put you back up the right way again. 814 00:38:32,709 --> 00:38:34,291 Hmm. 815 00:38:34,375 --> 00:38:36,291 The change in him, 816 00:38:36,375 --> 00:38:38,625 We just couldn't understand it. 817 00:38:38,709 --> 00:38:41,291 [applause] 818 00:38:41,375 --> 00:38:42,959 - And, first of all, I'd like to thank you all 819 00:38:43,041 --> 00:38:44,583 for coming here today 820 00:38:44,667 --> 00:38:47,959 to hear me talk about the campaign and the petition. 821 00:38:48,041 --> 00:38:51,542 Stuart and I gave nine or ten talks together 822 00:38:51,625 --> 00:38:53,208 about the campaign that spring 823 00:38:53,291 --> 00:38:55,291 in Birmingham, London, Oxford, 824 00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,041 and of course, villages around Cambridge. 825 00:38:57,125 --> 00:38:58,500 Mr. Stuart Clive Shorter. 826 00:38:58,583 --> 00:39:00,166 I'd speak first, 827 00:39:00,250 --> 00:39:02,709 and then Stuart would get up and knock the audience 828 00:39:02,792 --> 00:39:05,083 off its seats with the story of his life. 829 00:39:05,166 --> 00:39:07,750 - A typical suicide attempt. 830 00:39:07,834 --> 00:39:11,125 Just an unbearable sense of 831 00:39:11,208 --> 00:39:13,583 hatred and waste... 832 00:39:13,667 --> 00:39:15,000 - I am the nightmare you frighten 833 00:39:15,083 --> 00:39:16,834 your children with, he said. 834 00:39:16,917 --> 00:39:18,875 The sort of person that these two charity workers 835 00:39:18,959 --> 00:39:21,000 were trying to help to get off your streets. 836 00:39:21,083 --> 00:39:23,083 We should have awarded Ruth and John medals 837 00:39:23,166 --> 00:39:24,750 instead of sending them to prison. 838 00:39:24,834 --> 00:39:29,667 - ...So I just twisted around and I emptied everything 839 00:39:29,750 --> 00:39:32,625 that remained into my right buttock. 840 00:39:32,709 --> 00:39:35,125 - Stuart did two things for the campaign, really. 841 00:39:35,208 --> 00:39:37,667 He folded letters 842 00:39:37,750 --> 00:39:39,625 and he exposed his soul. 843 00:39:39,709 --> 00:39:43,792 [applause] 844 00:39:46,083 --> 00:39:48,834 - That all right? 845 00:39:48,917 --> 00:39:51,834 [calm trumpet music] 846 00:39:51,917 --> 00:39:55,208 [overlapping chatter] 847 00:39:55,291 --> 00:39:58,041 - Exactly, so if we write-- - Oh, this is your name. 848 00:39:58,125 --> 00:40:00,208 If we solve the puzzle, do we solve you? 849 00:40:00,291 --> 00:40:01,709 [laughter] 850 00:40:01,792 --> 00:40:03,250 - He's just-- 851 00:40:03,333 --> 00:40:05,125 he's just very, very interesting. 852 00:40:05,208 --> 00:40:07,542 You know, he tells me about a world I knew nothing about, 853 00:40:07,625 --> 00:40:09,709 and I-- 854 00:40:09,792 --> 00:40:11,250 I just like him. 855 00:40:11,333 --> 00:40:13,375 It's absolutely extraordinary. 856 00:40:13,458 --> 00:40:17,125 He--he knows the exact day that he changed into a sociopath, 857 00:40:17,208 --> 00:40:18,750 between 4:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. 858 00:40:18,834 --> 00:40:20,291 The exact day. 859 00:40:20,375 --> 00:40:23,083 It's like knowing what was in Dr. Jekyll's potion 860 00:40:23,166 --> 00:40:24,417 that turned him into Mr. Hyde. 861 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:25,959 [chuckling] 862 00:40:26,041 --> 00:40:29,625 [helicopter whirring] 863 00:40:29,709 --> 00:40:32,250 This thing, Stuart's black mist, 864 00:40:32,333 --> 00:40:34,583 came that night. 865 00:40:34,667 --> 00:40:38,583 Apparently started by a knife fight. 866 00:40:38,667 --> 00:40:41,041 The first I heard about it was a call a day later 867 00:40:41,125 --> 00:40:43,792 from his mother. 868 00:40:43,875 --> 00:40:48,000 [wood rattles, creaks] 869 00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:57,083 - At least there's no blood. 870 00:40:57,166 --> 00:41:01,000 Usually there is blood. 871 00:41:01,083 --> 00:41:04,917 Perhaps the cleaners have been around. 872 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,083 Just for the blood. 873 00:41:09,834 --> 00:41:10,917 - Ah! 874 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,208 [whimpers] 875 00:41:14,291 --> 00:41:15,792 [yells] 876 00:41:16,500 --> 00:41:19,417 - Campaign's helped him a lot, you know. 877 00:41:19,500 --> 00:41:21,625 Kept him straight. 878 00:41:21,709 --> 00:41:26,000 He ain't been this happy since he was a little boy. 879 00:41:33,667 --> 00:41:37,000 - "Alexander only." 880 00:41:37,083 --> 00:41:40,000 [soft music] 881 00:41:40,083 --> 00:41:42,125 ♪ ♪ 882 00:41:42,208 --> 00:41:46,333 - Hello, Alexander. It's Stuart. 883 00:41:46,417 --> 00:41:50,667 You know, admitting I've had lots to drink and all that. 884 00:41:50,750 --> 00:41:53,875 I can't help reflect about-- [tape clicks off] 885 00:41:53,959 --> 00:41:56,125 [solemn music] 886 00:41:56,208 --> 00:41:57,583 Stuart had been bailed to appear 887 00:41:57,667 --> 00:42:02,208 at Cambridge Magistrate's Court. 888 00:42:02,291 --> 00:42:05,834 I went with him for moral support. 889 00:42:05,917 --> 00:42:13,041 ♪ ♪ 890 00:42:15,083 --> 00:42:18,166 [woman laughing] 891 00:42:18,250 --> 00:42:21,083 - [moans] 892 00:42:21,166 --> 00:42:23,834 - They don't look too upset to be here. 893 00:42:23,917 --> 00:42:26,250 - No, wait till they get to Crown Court. 894 00:42:26,333 --> 00:42:28,041 That's when it gets serious. 895 00:42:28,125 --> 00:42:30,125 - Godspeed the day. 896 00:42:39,792 --> 00:42:41,083 Excuse me, you're about to fall off-- 897 00:42:41,166 --> 00:42:43,291 - Fuck off. 898 00:42:43,375 --> 00:42:45,875 - Good, lad, just say that to the nasty man in the wig, 899 00:42:45,959 --> 00:42:48,208 and everything will be fine. 900 00:42:48,291 --> 00:42:50,917 - You know, sometimes it takes so long, 901 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:55,959 you forget what your fucking crime was. 902 00:42:56,041 --> 00:42:58,625 Here, listen to this. 903 00:42:58,709 --> 00:43:01,792 It's the little 'un. 904 00:43:03,417 --> 00:43:05,250 - I don't know you. Fuck off. 905 00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:07,583 I'm not in and I don't wanna talk to you. 906 00:43:07,667 --> 00:43:09,917 - [chuckles] 907 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,750 - I didn't think he was like that. 908 00:43:11,834 --> 00:43:13,208 - [chuckles] 909 00:43:13,291 --> 00:43:17,625 - I was thinking maybe he should go to business school. 910 00:43:17,709 --> 00:43:20,417 But now I don't know. 911 00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:23,333 He ain't right. 912 00:43:23,417 --> 00:43:24,792 I've had to have words with him 913 00:43:24,875 --> 00:43:27,542 about the importance of politeness. 914 00:43:27,625 --> 00:43:28,792 - He's 14. 915 00:43:28,875 --> 00:43:34,041 - Well, it really shocked me, to be honest. 916 00:43:34,125 --> 00:43:36,417 - Mr. Shorter. - Mm. 917 00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:38,250 - According to police statements, 918 00:43:38,333 --> 00:43:42,458 they could smell smoking oil when they arrived on the scene. 919 00:43:42,542 --> 00:43:45,125 - Mm-mm, chip fat. 920 00:43:45,208 --> 00:43:46,291 [helicopter whirring] 921 00:43:46,375 --> 00:43:48,542 [indistinct shouting] 922 00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:49,583 [alarm beeping] 923 00:43:49,667 --> 00:43:52,458 [whimpering] 924 00:43:52,542 --> 00:43:55,792 It was the anniversary of my brother's death. 925 00:43:55,875 --> 00:43:58,875 [tense music] 926 00:43:58,959 --> 00:44:01,917 I wanted to burn the devil out of myself. 927 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,959 [shivering] 928 00:44:04,041 --> 00:44:05,959 [cries] 929 00:44:06,041 --> 00:44:10,959 [wailing] 930 00:44:11,041 --> 00:44:14,667 [screams] 931 00:44:14,750 --> 00:44:16,000 [pounding] 932 00:44:16,083 --> 00:44:17,792 [smashing] 933 00:44:17,875 --> 00:44:22,375 [overlapping shouting] 934 00:44:22,458 --> 00:44:29,542 ♪ ♪ 935 00:44:35,583 --> 00:44:37,375 [moans] 936 00:44:38,417 --> 00:44:40,667 - The Magistrate's Court decided they couldn't handle 937 00:44:40,750 --> 00:44:42,500 the complexities of Stuart's case, 938 00:44:42,583 --> 00:44:45,792 so they referred it to the Crown Court. 939 00:44:45,875 --> 00:44:47,208 Disgrace. 940 00:44:47,291 --> 00:44:49,208 40 policemen and you still get bail. 941 00:44:49,291 --> 00:44:52,834 Beats me why you hate the system. 942 00:44:52,917 --> 00:44:57,208 - Well, me mum says she doesn't understand it neither. 943 00:44:59,208 --> 00:45:01,166 - What did the barrister mean when he was talking about 944 00:45:01,250 --> 00:45:06,000 attempted manslaughter? 945 00:45:06,083 --> 00:45:08,667 - They reckon I tried to cut my neighbor's head off 946 00:45:08,750 --> 00:45:10,000 with a bread knife. 947 00:45:10,083 --> 00:45:14,834 - [chuckles] You didn't, did you? 948 00:45:14,917 --> 00:45:16,583 - Yeah. 949 00:45:16,667 --> 00:45:19,417 [ominous music] 950 00:45:19,500 --> 00:45:23,417 And if he hadn't have moved, I'd have got him too. 951 00:45:23,500 --> 00:45:28,166 ♪ ♪ 952 00:45:28,250 --> 00:45:30,875 [can pops open] 953 00:45:30,959 --> 00:45:33,291 - So you called your neighbor who made 954 00:45:33,375 --> 00:45:35,250 your boing-boing-whoosh bed a poofter? 955 00:45:35,333 --> 00:45:36,417 [belches] 956 00:45:36,500 --> 00:45:38,375 And then that's why he lost it? 957 00:45:38,458 --> 00:45:41,625 - No, but he thought that I called him a poofter. 958 00:45:41,709 --> 00:45:43,041 - And you did nothing of the sort? 959 00:45:43,125 --> 00:45:44,208 - No. 960 00:45:44,291 --> 00:45:45,542 - What did you do? 961 00:45:45,625 --> 00:45:49,875 - I just asked his friend if he was a poofter. 962 00:45:49,959 --> 00:45:51,709 - [laughs] 963 00:45:51,792 --> 00:45:53,333 - It's not a joke, Alexander. 964 00:45:53,417 --> 00:45:54,583 - Ah, well, I mean-- 965 00:45:54,667 --> 00:45:58,834 - When my bail's up, I'm looking at life. 966 00:46:04,834 --> 00:46:08,417 Oh. 967 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:12,709 [groans] - I've lost my keys somewhere. 968 00:46:13,834 --> 00:46:15,750 So you didn't call your neighbor 969 00:46:15,834 --> 00:46:17,583 who made your boing-boing-whoosh bed 970 00:46:17,667 --> 00:46:19,583 a poofter? 971 00:46:19,667 --> 00:46:21,792 So what-- 972 00:46:21,875 --> 00:46:24,542 What did his mate say when you called... 973 00:46:24,625 --> 00:46:27,583 What did his mate say when you asked him if he was a poofter? 974 00:46:27,667 --> 00:46:30,583 - No, no, I just 975 00:46:30,667 --> 00:46:34,208 said he suffered from premature ejaculation. 976 00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:37,458 - [laughs] 977 00:46:37,542 --> 00:46:41,125 - Which I thought was quite interesting at the time, 978 00:46:41,208 --> 00:46:45,959 because I suffer from the same complaint myself. 979 00:46:46,041 --> 00:46:48,792 - [groans] [grunts] 980 00:46:48,875 --> 00:46:51,458 [thumps, glasses clink] 981 00:46:51,542 --> 00:46:54,583 [grunts] 982 00:46:58,583 --> 00:47:00,250 Um... 983 00:47:00,333 --> 00:47:02,792 I'm going to see some friends in Norfolk next week. 984 00:47:02,875 --> 00:47:03,959 Come along. 985 00:47:04,041 --> 00:47:07,333 - No. Can't. 986 00:47:07,417 --> 00:47:09,625 You heard the Magistrate. 987 00:47:09,709 --> 00:47:12,875 I'm not allowed out of Cambridge till me trial. 988 00:47:12,959 --> 00:47:15,959 [acoustic guitar music] 989 00:47:16,041 --> 00:47:19,417 ♪ ♪ 990 00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:23,291 And another thing about washing machines, right? 991 00:47:23,375 --> 00:47:26,709 This fellow on the TV, 992 00:47:26,792 --> 00:47:31,667 he put three of them washing machine inner bits together. 993 00:47:31,750 --> 00:47:35,500 Not even a concrete one, nothing. 994 00:47:35,583 --> 00:47:39,166 And he said it was a sculpture. 995 00:47:39,250 --> 00:47:41,959 God. 996 00:47:42,041 --> 00:47:46,125 But hey, hey, somebody bought it. 997 00:47:46,208 --> 00:47:48,792 I'm not being funny here, 998 00:47:48,875 --> 00:47:52,917 but there is a viable business opportunity there. 999 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,125 ♪ ♪ 1000 00:47:55,208 --> 00:47:57,125 Rent a barn. 1001 00:47:57,208 --> 00:48:01,166 Lay out all the bits. 1002 00:48:01,250 --> 00:48:03,375 And when you've had enough of 1003 00:48:03,458 --> 00:48:06,375 washing machines, 1004 00:48:06,458 --> 00:48:09,375 do fridges. 1005 00:48:09,458 --> 00:48:13,291 You know, that's what really annoys me, Alexander. 1006 00:48:13,375 --> 00:48:15,542 I'm always getting these great ideas, 1007 00:48:15,625 --> 00:48:18,709 you know, about how to make money and... 1008 00:48:18,792 --> 00:48:21,583 people are always telling me that they're wrong, you know? 1009 00:48:21,667 --> 00:48:24,875 I never get no encouragement. 1010 00:48:24,959 --> 00:48:28,875 No encouragement at all. 1011 00:48:28,959 --> 00:48:31,458 ♪ ♪ 1012 00:48:31,542 --> 00:48:36,417 Will you hold the wheel? - Hmm? 1013 00:48:36,500 --> 00:48:38,291 - Want some? 1014 00:48:38,375 --> 00:48:40,709 - Uh, yes. Thank you. 1015 00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:44,750 - Save me some. - I will. 1016 00:48:44,834 --> 00:48:47,000 ♪ ♪ 1017 00:48:47,083 --> 00:48:48,333 - [sniffles] 1018 00:48:48,417 --> 00:48:50,500 I think I've got a bit of a cold coming. 1019 00:48:50,583 --> 00:48:53,917 - [coughs] 1020 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:58,166 ♪ ♪ 1021 00:48:58,250 --> 00:49:01,583 - Here, listen to this. 1022 00:49:01,667 --> 00:49:04,250 - I apologize for not being currently available. 1023 00:49:04,333 --> 00:49:07,583 Be so kind as to leave your name and message. 1024 00:49:07,667 --> 00:49:10,917 - Ah. 1025 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:15,208 - So, why don't you just get an ordinary job? 1026 00:49:16,625 --> 00:49:20,083 - 9:00 to 5:00? - That's the one. 1027 00:49:20,166 --> 00:49:22,291 - Getting up in the morning. 1028 00:49:22,375 --> 00:49:23,792 Coming home late at night. 1029 00:49:23,875 --> 00:49:28,041 - On the nose. - Full time. 1030 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,458 Well, have you ever had one of those? 1031 00:49:30,542 --> 00:49:33,750 - Nope. - Oh. 1032 00:49:34,875 --> 00:49:36,792 Uh, I've done a bit of valeting work 1033 00:49:36,875 --> 00:49:38,959 for a friend of me brother's. 1034 00:49:39,041 --> 00:49:40,792 - And? 1035 00:49:40,875 --> 00:49:43,375 - I head-butted the bloke. 1036 00:49:43,458 --> 00:49:44,917 - Your version of putting your head down 1037 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,166 and getting on with it, I suppose? 1038 00:49:46,250 --> 00:49:50,834 - He tried to fiddle with me sister. 1039 00:49:50,917 --> 00:49:53,000 And then later on, you know-- 1040 00:49:53,083 --> 00:49:55,709 ah, I don't know. 1041 00:49:55,792 --> 00:49:58,750 - [mimics mumbling] Don't know what? 1042 00:49:58,834 --> 00:50:01,291 [ominous orchestral music] 1043 00:50:01,375 --> 00:50:03,375 - Nothing. Just later on, 1044 00:50:03,458 --> 00:50:08,166 you know, when my brother Gavvy killed himself... 1045 00:50:08,250 --> 00:50:12,709 - You don't have to say anything, Stuart. 1046 00:50:12,792 --> 00:50:16,125 Talk about it another time. 1047 00:50:16,208 --> 00:50:18,917 - Yeah. Thanks. 1048 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:24,250 ♪ ♪ 1049 00:50:24,333 --> 00:50:26,083 - When the police found Gavvy, 1050 00:50:26,166 --> 00:50:27,417 they said he'd really suffered. 1051 00:50:27,500 --> 00:50:28,959 [flies buzzing] 1052 00:50:29,041 --> 00:50:31,291 The tablets he'd taken had eaten his kidneys 1053 00:50:31,375 --> 00:50:33,291 and his liver away before he died. 1054 00:50:33,375 --> 00:50:36,333 And he'd have been in absolute agony dying. 1055 00:50:36,417 --> 00:50:39,083 And I'm glad. 1056 00:50:39,166 --> 00:50:41,834 I'm glad my brother suffered. 1057 00:50:41,917 --> 00:50:46,792 ♪ ♪ 1058 00:50:48,291 --> 00:50:51,208 - "Chainsaw carved mushrooms." 1059 00:50:51,291 --> 00:50:52,875 - Fucking hell. 1060 00:50:52,959 --> 00:50:55,250 - What did they do to deserve that? 1061 00:50:55,333 --> 00:50:56,542 [horn honks] 1062 00:50:56,625 --> 00:50:59,083 [brakes screech] 1063 00:50:59,166 --> 00:51:00,917 - Hey. 1064 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:05,208 Fucking nice little number you got going here, mate. 1065 00:51:05,291 --> 00:51:07,583 Get many nobheads falling for it? 1066 00:51:07,667 --> 00:51:10,083 - Yeah, plenty. 1067 00:51:13,166 --> 00:51:14,959 - Uh... 1068 00:51:15,041 --> 00:51:17,959 [upbeat music] 1069 00:51:18,041 --> 00:51:25,125 ♪ ♪ 1070 00:51:39,458 --> 00:51:41,625 Whoa, ah. 1071 00:51:41,709 --> 00:51:44,083 - I'm James. Good to see you. 1072 00:51:44,166 --> 00:51:46,000 Alexander has told me all about you. 1073 00:51:46,083 --> 00:51:48,583 - Reuben. - Reuben, yes? 1074 00:51:48,667 --> 00:51:49,583 - I'm Dido. 1075 00:51:49,667 --> 00:51:51,458 - Oh, you have a lovely house. 1076 00:51:51,542 --> 00:51:52,750 - Hello, darling. How're you doing? 1077 00:51:52,834 --> 00:51:53,917 [kisses] 1078 00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,083 Good to see you. - Here, this is for you. 1079 00:51:55,166 --> 00:51:56,834 - Ooh, thank you. Lovely. 1080 00:51:56,917 --> 00:51:59,834 - Now, Alexander told you that I'm an alcoholic, hasn't he? 1081 00:51:59,917 --> 00:52:03,000 I'm also a schedule one offender and a thief. 1082 00:52:03,083 --> 00:52:05,834 But I won't cause no trouble. 1083 00:52:05,917 --> 00:52:09,709 May I have a tour of the estate, please? 1084 00:52:09,792 --> 00:52:11,792 Is that a pear tree? 1085 00:52:11,875 --> 00:52:13,417 - Yeah. 1086 00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:14,792 - Oh. 1087 00:52:14,875 --> 00:52:17,458 You make cider out of that. 1088 00:52:17,542 --> 00:52:20,750 And them apples, eh? Yeah. 1089 00:52:20,834 --> 00:52:22,792 - Famous actors used to come here and play tennis, 1090 00:52:22,875 --> 00:52:26,333 like Laurence Olivier and-- - Laurence Olivier, really? 1091 00:52:26,417 --> 00:52:28,166 Over there? 1092 00:52:28,250 --> 00:52:29,875 Ooh. 1093 00:52:29,959 --> 00:52:32,625 Hey, 21-love! 1094 00:52:32,709 --> 00:52:34,291 [giggles] 1095 00:52:34,375 --> 00:52:36,625 You ought to knock all them trees down 1096 00:52:36,709 --> 00:52:38,291 and build a go-kart course. 1097 00:52:38,375 --> 00:52:40,375 [laughter] 1098 00:52:40,458 --> 00:52:43,125 Yeah, fix this place up, it'd be really lovely here. 1099 00:52:43,208 --> 00:52:44,709 [laughter] 1100 00:52:44,792 --> 00:52:46,375 [Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky" playing] 1101 00:52:46,458 --> 00:52:49,917 - ♪ Never been a sinner I never sinned ♪ 1102 00:52:50,041 --> 00:52:54,333 ♪ I got a friend in Jesus ♪ 1103 00:52:54,417 --> 00:52:58,041 ♪ So you know that when I die ♪ 1104 00:52:58,125 --> 00:53:01,625 ♪ He's gonna set me up with the spirit in the sky ♪ 1105 00:53:01,709 --> 00:53:05,834 ♪ Oh, set me up with the spirit in the sky ♪ 1106 00:53:05,917 --> 00:53:10,000 ♪ That's where I'm gonna go when I die ♪ 1107 00:53:10,083 --> 00:53:11,500 ♪ When I die and they lay me to rest ♪ 1108 00:53:11,583 --> 00:53:13,542 - [giggles] - [chuckles] 1109 00:53:13,625 --> 00:53:17,250 - ♪ I'm gonna go to the place that's the best ♪ 1110 00:53:17,333 --> 00:53:21,375 ♪ Go to the place that's the best ♪ 1111 00:53:21,458 --> 00:53:28,583 ♪ ♪ 1112 00:53:31,917 --> 00:53:34,375 - Mind, it's hot. - Oh. 1113 00:53:34,458 --> 00:53:36,917 ♪ ♪ 1114 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:40,959 Ooh, lapsang shoe-pong, eh? Very nice. 1115 00:53:44,166 --> 00:53:45,667 [rooster crows] 1116 00:53:45,750 --> 00:53:49,917 Ooh, it's very tasty. Yeah. 1117 00:53:51,750 --> 00:53:54,792 Fucking amazing. 1118 00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:58,417 [sighs] 1119 00:53:58,500 --> 00:54:02,375 Yeah, A-fucking-one. 1120 00:54:02,458 --> 00:54:05,458 [birds chirping, sheep baaing] 1121 00:54:05,542 --> 00:54:08,917 They're so false. 1122 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,959 False tits. 1123 00:54:12,041 --> 00:54:14,000 Now, I prefer 1124 00:54:14,083 --> 00:54:16,375 a bit of natural bounce myself. 1125 00:54:16,458 --> 00:54:17,917 Yeah. 1126 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,959 I mean, and if they're going to sag, 1127 00:54:20,041 --> 00:54:23,917 they're going to sag, aren't they? 1128 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:25,959 Mm. 1129 00:54:26,041 --> 00:54:29,083 [groans] 1130 00:54:29,166 --> 00:54:30,041 Ugh. 1131 00:54:30,125 --> 00:54:32,917 I don't get it, Alexander. 1132 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:38,083 How come you're so interested in homeless people? 1133 00:54:38,166 --> 00:54:39,375 - I'm not. 1134 00:54:39,458 --> 00:54:40,875 I was only working at Wintercomfort 1135 00:54:40,959 --> 00:54:42,625 because the money was good. 1136 00:54:42,709 --> 00:54:44,125 Nine quid an hour. 1137 00:54:44,208 --> 00:54:47,709 And the hours, shift work. 1138 00:54:47,792 --> 00:54:50,500 How long are these onions meant to cook? 1139 00:54:50,583 --> 00:54:52,375 - Oh. 1140 00:54:52,458 --> 00:54:56,834 Till you feel satisfied. 1141 00:54:56,917 --> 00:55:01,000 - No, it--it meant I could write in the morning. 1142 00:55:01,083 --> 00:55:03,834 - Yeah, but why? 1143 00:55:03,917 --> 00:55:06,542 - Stuart, if I was interested in you as a homeless person, 1144 00:55:06,625 --> 00:55:07,792 I'd have been sacked for 1145 00:55:07,875 --> 00:55:09,458 unprofessional conduct ages ago. 1146 00:55:09,542 --> 00:55:10,375 - So? 1147 00:55:10,458 --> 00:55:11,750 - So I like you as a friend. 1148 00:55:11,834 --> 00:55:13,291 Is that so bad? 1149 00:55:13,375 --> 00:55:15,375 - [groans] 1150 00:55:17,875 --> 00:55:20,375 - Fenugreek? 1151 00:55:20,458 --> 00:55:22,458 - Oh. 1152 00:55:22,542 --> 00:55:25,625 It's a bit weird, if you ask me. 1153 00:55:25,709 --> 00:55:27,333 - Couldn't agree more. 1154 00:55:27,417 --> 00:55:31,667 - [groaning, mumbling] 1155 00:55:31,750 --> 00:55:32,750 Right. 1156 00:55:32,834 --> 00:55:34,792 There's always somebody 1157 00:55:34,875 --> 00:55:37,917 who won't want two. 1158 00:55:39,458 --> 00:55:42,792 Ooh. 1159 00:55:42,875 --> 00:55:45,959 Yeah, but why? 1160 00:55:46,041 --> 00:55:48,375 - Because you're funny, intelligent, good company. 1161 00:55:48,458 --> 00:55:49,917 What do you want, a fucking love letter? 1162 00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:53,583 Now, shut up and drink your freaking beer. 1163 00:55:53,667 --> 00:55:57,417 [stew bubbling] [laughter] 1164 00:55:57,500 --> 00:55:58,875 [laughter] 1165 00:55:58,959 --> 00:56:00,417 - Marvelous. 1166 00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:01,834 What was it again? 1167 00:56:01,917 --> 00:56:04,583 - Convict curry. - Convict curry. 1168 00:56:04,667 --> 00:56:06,333 Convict curry. 1169 00:56:06,417 --> 00:56:08,291 [laughter] 1170 00:56:08,375 --> 00:56:10,959 Ooh. Hmm. 1171 00:56:11,041 --> 00:56:12,667 - [chuckles] 1172 00:56:12,750 --> 00:56:15,500 [overlapping chatter] 1173 00:56:15,583 --> 00:56:17,667 Hey, Stuart, it's Thursday. 1174 00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:20,125 You gotta tell. - No, not now. 1175 00:56:20,208 --> 00:56:22,625 - Come on. A promise is a promise. 1176 00:56:22,709 --> 00:56:25,750 Come on, you've talked our ears off about everything else. 1177 00:56:25,834 --> 00:56:30,166 - Give it a rest, Alexander. 1178 00:56:30,250 --> 00:56:31,375 You don't wanna know. 1179 00:56:31,458 --> 00:56:33,083 - It's Stuart's first prison sentence. 1180 00:56:33,166 --> 00:56:34,709 He'll only talk about it on a Thursday 1181 00:56:34,792 --> 00:56:37,375 because he gets his dole money Wednesday afternoons, 1182 00:56:37,458 --> 00:56:39,875 which means that, if talking about it upsets him, 1183 00:56:39,959 --> 00:56:42,375 he's still got enough heroin left to calm him down. 1184 00:56:42,458 --> 00:56:46,583 Is that right? 1185 00:56:48,500 --> 00:56:51,208 - It was nothing. 1186 00:56:51,291 --> 00:56:53,875 I was-- [sighs] 1187 00:56:53,959 --> 00:56:57,333 I was in the pub one morning. 1188 00:56:57,417 --> 00:57:00,208 It was the little 'un's birthday. 1189 00:57:00,291 --> 00:57:02,125 [ominous orchestral music] 1190 00:57:02,208 --> 00:57:03,583 Uh, I was-- 1191 00:57:03,667 --> 00:57:07,166 I was in the pub celebrating. 1192 00:57:07,250 --> 00:57:12,917 It was over ten years ago, and... 1193 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:16,625 this bloke says... 1194 00:57:16,709 --> 00:57:18,542 It was just nastiness. 1195 00:57:18,625 --> 00:57:22,458 - Come on. - Alexander, please. 1196 00:57:22,542 --> 00:57:26,500 - Look, Thursday's the day. 1197 00:57:26,583 --> 00:57:32,834 ♪ ♪ 1198 00:57:32,917 --> 00:57:35,625 - So I come home. 1199 00:57:35,709 --> 00:57:39,625 [baby crying] 1200 00:57:39,709 --> 00:57:42,792 ♪ ♪ 1201 00:57:42,875 --> 00:57:47,000 Martin says you've been fucking Graham. 1202 00:57:47,083 --> 00:57:50,458 - You're drunk. 1203 00:57:50,542 --> 00:57:52,625 If you want it, you gotta rape me. 1204 00:57:52,709 --> 00:57:54,000 - No. 1205 00:57:54,083 --> 00:57:55,083 [loud grunt] 1206 00:57:55,166 --> 00:57:56,792 - [groans] 1207 00:57:56,875 --> 00:57:58,250 - No. 1208 00:57:58,333 --> 00:57:59,625 I will 1209 00:57:59,709 --> 00:58:00,792 fucking kill you! 1210 00:58:00,875 --> 00:58:02,333 I'll fucking kill you, you cunt! 1211 00:58:02,417 --> 00:58:03,959 - Get out! Fuck you! 1212 00:58:04,041 --> 00:58:07,458 [baby wails] - You wanted the fucking baby! 1213 00:58:07,542 --> 00:58:11,625 Oh. 1214 00:58:11,709 --> 00:58:16,458 And I think then I realized that I 1215 00:58:16,542 --> 00:58:20,125 had made a proper mess of it already. 1216 00:58:20,208 --> 00:58:21,709 - I'm leaving. 1217 00:58:21,792 --> 00:58:23,125 [screams] Ow, you-- 1218 00:58:23,208 --> 00:58:24,500 - You fucking are not! 1219 00:58:24,583 --> 00:58:26,458 - Fuck-- 1220 00:58:26,542 --> 00:58:29,792 - You fuck around with me! Yeah? 1221 00:58:33,250 --> 00:58:37,417 I'm a little bit ashamed of that, to be honest. 1222 00:58:42,917 --> 00:58:44,834 Mm. 1223 00:58:44,917 --> 00:58:46,041 Go fuck off. 1224 00:58:46,125 --> 00:58:47,291 Fuck the whole lot of you! 1225 00:58:47,375 --> 00:58:48,291 I'll do all of you. 1226 00:58:48,375 --> 00:58:50,333 Go, for fuck's sake! 1227 00:58:50,417 --> 00:58:51,917 Go on, fuck off. 1228 00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,333 [baby crying] 1229 00:58:54,417 --> 00:58:56,542 Fucking hell. 1230 00:58:56,625 --> 00:58:57,625 It's all right. 1231 00:58:57,709 --> 00:58:58,917 Fuck off! 1232 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:05,458 So we sat around for a bit, 1233 00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:08,500 and decided we'd come out together. 1234 00:59:13,625 --> 00:59:15,709 We're coming out now. 1235 00:59:15,792 --> 00:59:18,709 We're together. 1236 00:59:18,792 --> 00:59:22,875 I'm sorry. 1237 00:59:22,959 --> 00:59:24,709 - Go! Get him! 1238 00:59:24,792 --> 00:59:26,291 [overlapping shouting] 1239 00:59:26,375 --> 00:59:28,250 [baby crying] [knocking on door] 1240 00:59:28,333 --> 00:59:31,583 - Can't you just shoot the fucker? 1241 00:59:31,667 --> 00:59:34,083 - [groaning] 1242 00:59:34,166 --> 00:59:37,041 - He's just lost it. 1243 00:59:37,125 --> 00:59:38,542 It's not Stuart. 1244 00:59:38,625 --> 00:59:41,208 [flames crackling] 1245 00:59:41,291 --> 00:59:42,959 - Move! Move! 1246 00:59:43,041 --> 00:59:45,166 - Go! - Go, go! 1247 00:59:45,250 --> 00:59:46,166 - [grunts] 1248 00:59:46,250 --> 00:59:47,250 [flame whooshes] 1249 00:59:47,333 --> 00:59:50,667 Ah! - [groans] 1250 00:59:50,750 --> 00:59:53,750 - [screaming] 1251 00:59:53,834 --> 00:59:57,208 [engine turns over] 1252 00:59:57,291 --> 00:59:58,917 [blow lands] Ow! 1253 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:00,083 [grunts] 1254 01:00:00,166 --> 01:00:02,083 [faucet running softly] 1255 01:00:02,166 --> 01:00:03,667 [plate clinks] 1256 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:13,959 [solemn violin music] 1257 01:00:14,041 --> 01:00:21,166 ♪ ♪ 1258 01:00:36,959 --> 01:00:39,959 [calm pastoral music] 1259 01:00:40,041 --> 01:00:45,083 ♪ ♪ 1260 01:00:45,166 --> 01:00:48,792 Lovely stay, Alexander. Thank you very much. 1261 01:00:48,875 --> 01:00:52,375 I really enjoyed it. 1262 01:00:52,458 --> 01:00:54,417 [grunts] 1263 01:00:54,917 --> 01:00:59,250 I was really surprised, Alexander, 1264 01:00:59,333 --> 01:01:00,667 to be honest. 1265 01:01:00,750 --> 01:01:02,542 I thought the middle-class people 1266 01:01:02,625 --> 01:01:04,917 had something wrong with them, you know? 1267 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,375 But they're just ordinary, aren't they? 1268 01:01:07,458 --> 01:01:11,500 I was a bit shocked, to tell the truth. 1269 01:01:11,583 --> 01:01:14,792 ♪ ♪ 1270 01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:16,917 - Over the next few months, Stuart's trial 1271 01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,667 for the attempted manslaughter 1272 01:01:18,750 --> 01:01:21,083 of his not poofter boing-boing-whoosh bed-making 1273 01:01:21,166 --> 01:01:23,959 neighbor was postponed once... - Oh, dear God. 1274 01:01:24,041 --> 01:01:27,208 - Twice... - Oh, no, no. 1275 01:01:27,291 --> 01:01:29,834 - A third time. - [moaning] 1276 01:01:29,917 --> 01:01:31,375 - And then a fourth. 1277 01:01:31,458 --> 01:01:32,750 - Oi, you mutt-- 1278 01:01:32,834 --> 01:01:34,250 [dog barking] Ow, ow! 1279 01:01:35,417 --> 01:01:37,750 - He needed some cash, so I gave him 1280 01:01:37,834 --> 01:01:40,125 250 quid for his car. 1281 01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:43,125 And I'm still waiting for the paperwork. 1282 01:01:43,208 --> 01:01:46,792 Meanwhile, the campaign went from strength to strength. 1283 01:01:46,875 --> 01:01:49,375 Newsletters, petitions, protests, 1284 01:01:49,458 --> 01:01:50,834 even benefit gigs. 1285 01:01:50,917 --> 01:01:52,625 And then it was Stuart's bright idea 1286 01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:54,875 to go and see our local MP. 1287 01:01:54,959 --> 01:01:56,834 - [groans] [beer splashes] 1288 01:01:56,917 --> 01:01:59,000 Oh, shit. 1289 01:02:02,792 --> 01:02:06,959 Oh, I'm sorry, mate. I'm just a bit nervous is all. 1290 01:02:09,625 --> 01:02:12,458 - Mr. Shorter is not from Ann's constituency-- 1291 01:02:12,542 --> 01:02:14,166 - I'm from Ann's constituency. 1292 01:02:14,250 --> 01:02:15,375 I wish to take Stuart as my guest. 1293 01:02:15,458 --> 01:02:16,834 - Alexander. 1294 01:02:16,917 --> 01:02:18,750 - For that you'll have to make a new appointment. 1295 01:02:18,834 --> 01:02:21,875 - Oh, rubbish, she's got nothing else to do, has she? 1296 01:02:21,959 --> 01:02:24,250 - The Council is not gonna have 1297 01:02:24,333 --> 01:02:27,500 no emergency shelter for the homeless. 1298 01:02:27,583 --> 01:02:29,583 [beer fizzing, sloshing] 1299 01:02:29,667 --> 01:02:32,083 And I'm frightened... 1300 01:02:32,166 --> 01:02:33,875 - I'm sorry. 1301 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,750 [beer spatters on ground] 1302 01:02:35,834 --> 01:02:40,792 - In winter, it's smack what keeps you fucking... 1303 01:02:45,917 --> 01:02:48,458 I'm sorry. 1304 01:02:48,542 --> 01:02:52,083 Keeps you warm. 1305 01:02:52,166 --> 01:02:54,875 But this year, there's going to be 1306 01:02:54,959 --> 01:02:59,709 one more death a month again. 1307 01:02:59,792 --> 01:03:02,583 - Why? 1308 01:03:02,667 --> 01:03:05,083 - Puppies. 1309 01:03:05,166 --> 01:03:08,583 - I'm not sure I follow you. 1310 01:03:08,667 --> 01:03:13,208 - On the streets. 1311 01:03:13,291 --> 01:03:16,208 P--puppies. 1312 01:03:18,667 --> 01:03:21,417 Um... 1313 01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:26,083 'Cause the homeless love their dogs, right? 1314 01:03:26,166 --> 01:03:27,667 But the hostels 1315 01:03:27,750 --> 01:03:31,792 only allow two to three places for pets. 1316 01:03:31,875 --> 01:03:33,041 So, 1317 01:03:33,125 --> 01:03:36,959 if there has been two new litters, 1318 01:03:37,041 --> 01:03:40,250 then loads more people are gonna have dogs, aren't they? 1319 01:03:40,333 --> 01:03:45,125 And therefore, will be forced to sleep out. 1320 01:03:45,208 --> 01:03:47,542 And hence, 1321 01:03:47,625 --> 01:03:50,041 therefore, 1322 01:03:50,125 --> 01:03:53,125 furthermore, 1323 01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:55,458 more deaths. 1324 01:03:55,542 --> 01:03:59,000 Mm? 1325 01:03:59,083 --> 01:04:02,667 See, on the street, 1326 01:04:02,750 --> 01:04:07,166 it's the little things that kill people. 1327 01:04:07,250 --> 01:04:10,333 [overlapping chatter] 1328 01:04:10,417 --> 01:04:14,291 - [whistles] 1329 01:04:14,375 --> 01:04:17,000 That Justice Howarth must hate the campaign's guts. 1330 01:04:17,083 --> 01:04:18,750 Humiliation. 1331 01:04:18,834 --> 01:04:21,542 - Seven months after they were sent down, Ruth and John... 1332 01:04:21,625 --> 01:04:22,834 - Have been released on bail... 1333 01:04:22,917 --> 01:04:24,208 [cheering] 1334 01:04:24,291 --> 01:04:25,750 ...after a high profile campaign by MPs 1335 01:04:25,834 --> 01:04:27,250 and other homeless charities. 1336 01:04:27,333 --> 01:04:28,875 They've won the right to appeal 1337 01:04:28,959 --> 01:04:31,834 against prison sentences of four and five years. 1338 01:04:31,917 --> 01:04:34,834 - This was our first sight of Ruth Wyner and John Brock... 1339 01:04:34,917 --> 01:04:37,834 [cheering] 1340 01:04:37,917 --> 01:04:39,667 After seven months in jail, 1341 01:04:39,750 --> 01:04:41,917 the so-called Cambridge Two have been released 1342 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,875 on unconditional bail and are now free to challenge 1343 01:04:44,959 --> 01:04:47,041 their original convictions. 1344 01:04:47,125 --> 01:04:49,041 - I mean, I can't see if the lights on-- 1345 01:04:49,125 --> 01:04:52,208 [photo snaps] [cheering] 1346 01:04:52,291 --> 01:04:53,875 Stuart, it's Alexander. 1347 01:04:53,959 --> 01:04:56,333 Stop whatever illegal thing it is that you're doing 1348 01:04:56,417 --> 01:04:57,583 and get down here. 1349 01:04:57,667 --> 01:04:59,500 [elevator bell dings] 1350 01:05:00,667 --> 01:05:03,333 [phone ringing] 1351 01:05:12,250 --> 01:05:16,625 - It's me muscular dystrophy. 1352 01:05:16,709 --> 01:05:21,083 Humeroscapio, or something. 1353 01:05:21,166 --> 01:05:25,041 Muscular dystrophy. 1354 01:05:25,125 --> 01:05:27,041 It's a real gobstopper, isn't it? 1355 01:05:27,125 --> 01:05:29,250 I never learned the name. 1356 01:05:29,333 --> 01:05:32,583 What you don't know can't hurt you. 1357 01:05:32,667 --> 01:05:36,208 I only came in to see the nurse 1358 01:05:36,291 --> 01:05:38,125 because I wanted to cuddle, 1359 01:05:38,208 --> 01:05:39,959 and it spits too soon. 1360 01:05:40,041 --> 01:05:43,291 - Stuart! [soft laugh] - Yeah. 1361 01:05:43,375 --> 01:05:44,875 Well, I thought maybe 1362 01:05:44,959 --> 01:05:47,834 it's because of me muscular dystrophy. 1363 01:05:47,917 --> 01:05:50,542 You know, 'cause your dick's a muscle, isn't it? 1364 01:05:50,625 --> 01:05:54,792 - Shh. - [chuckles] 1365 01:05:56,375 --> 01:06:00,625 - It started on me ticker. 1366 01:06:00,709 --> 01:06:03,542 They tried twice 1367 01:06:03,625 --> 01:06:06,250 to put a pacemaker in me tits. 1368 01:06:06,333 --> 01:06:08,208 [stirring orchestral music] 1369 01:06:08,291 --> 01:06:10,000 But the veins just crumble, 1370 01:06:10,083 --> 01:06:12,959 'cause of the amount of citric what I've injected. 1371 01:06:13,041 --> 01:06:15,625 [wheezes] 1372 01:06:15,709 --> 01:06:18,625 Gotta laugh, haven't you? 1373 01:06:18,709 --> 01:06:23,500 ♪ ♪ 1374 01:06:23,583 --> 01:06:26,166 [whistling] 1375 01:06:26,250 --> 01:06:27,583 [muscles crumple] 1376 01:06:27,667 --> 01:06:28,709 [wheelchair creaks] 1377 01:06:28,792 --> 01:06:31,000 Eh? 1378 01:06:31,083 --> 01:06:32,375 Oh. 1379 01:06:33,375 --> 01:06:35,709 - I can't believe he hadn't told you. 1380 01:06:35,792 --> 01:06:38,041 He tells everyone about everything. 1381 01:06:38,125 --> 01:06:41,500 - Well, now, that's not true. - Mum, yes. 1382 01:06:41,583 --> 01:06:44,250 That's his way of coping, isn't it? 1383 01:06:44,333 --> 01:06:47,709 20 years, non-stop. 1384 01:06:47,792 --> 01:06:49,667 Ever since he first went on the streets. 1385 01:06:49,750 --> 01:06:51,500 - So 20 years? 1386 01:06:51,583 --> 01:06:53,000 But I thought it was Gavvy-- 1387 01:06:53,083 --> 01:06:56,125 I mean, his brother's suicide that made him homeless. 1388 01:06:56,208 --> 01:06:57,875 - Don't be stupid. 1389 01:06:57,959 --> 01:07:00,834 Stuart had been on and off the streets since he was 12. 1390 01:07:00,917 --> 01:07:03,709 - Then all of a sudden this little horror. 1391 01:07:03,792 --> 01:07:07,125 12 years old, that's when it started. 1392 01:07:07,208 --> 01:07:09,125 - Gavvy had to run to fetch Mum. 1393 01:07:09,208 --> 01:07:10,959 [ominous music] 1394 01:07:11,041 --> 01:07:13,083 - Mum, it's Stuart. 1395 01:07:13,166 --> 01:07:16,500 - Put me into care! You hear me? 1396 01:07:16,583 --> 01:07:18,834 Do it now, otherwise I'll kill you! 1397 01:07:18,917 --> 01:07:22,083 Put me into care now or I'll do the lot of you! 1398 01:07:22,166 --> 01:07:24,083 Put me into care! 1399 01:07:24,166 --> 01:07:28,083 I said put me into care! 1400 01:07:28,166 --> 01:07:31,542 - There in you go. Mind your head. 1401 01:07:31,625 --> 01:07:34,500 - He was taken into care that night. 1402 01:07:34,583 --> 01:07:36,125 We didn't see him for three weeks. 1403 01:07:36,208 --> 01:07:38,125 - Another one for you, Mr. Laverack. 1404 01:07:38,208 --> 01:07:39,458 You're getting popular. 1405 01:07:39,542 --> 01:07:41,875 He asked to come. 1406 01:07:41,959 --> 01:07:43,667 - Poor boy. 1407 01:07:43,750 --> 01:07:46,208 Poor boy. 1408 01:07:46,291 --> 01:07:48,709 ♪ ♪ 1409 01:07:48,792 --> 01:07:51,750 [children screaming] 1410 01:07:51,834 --> 01:07:56,583 ♪ ♪ 1411 01:07:57,083 --> 01:07:59,291 - Out of the frying pan into the fire. 1412 01:07:59,375 --> 01:08:00,875 - Well, we weren't the frying pan. 1413 01:08:00,959 --> 01:08:03,709 - You know what I mean. 1414 01:08:03,792 --> 01:08:06,375 - We just couldn't understand it. 1415 01:08:06,458 --> 01:08:08,750 - People said she ought to disown him. 1416 01:08:08,834 --> 01:08:12,750 - Well, how can you wash your hands of your own child? 1417 01:08:12,834 --> 01:08:15,709 He's my flesh and blood, I'd say. 1418 01:08:15,792 --> 01:08:17,125 He's my son. 1419 01:08:17,208 --> 01:08:20,333 I just wish I could do more. 1420 01:08:21,917 --> 01:08:24,625 - Working on the book after the end of the campaign, 1421 01:08:24,709 --> 01:08:26,417 writing, rewriting. 1422 01:08:26,500 --> 01:08:28,041 I realized then that I could never 1423 01:08:28,125 --> 01:08:30,667 hope to justify or explain Stuart. 1424 01:08:30,750 --> 01:08:32,458 And whatever had murdered his innocence 1425 01:08:32,542 --> 01:08:34,250 had long ago ceased to be simple enough 1426 01:08:34,333 --> 01:08:35,375 to sort out with words. 1427 01:08:35,458 --> 01:08:37,041 [cell phone ringing] 1428 01:08:37,125 --> 01:08:40,542 All I could hope to do was staple him to the page. 1429 01:08:40,625 --> 01:08:43,709 [cell phone ringing] 1430 01:08:45,500 --> 01:08:47,875 Hello? - It's in me tit. 1431 01:08:47,959 --> 01:08:51,458 I'm at Papworth Heart Hospital. 1432 01:08:51,542 --> 01:08:53,417 Come visit. 1433 01:08:53,500 --> 01:08:54,959 Yeah, on your way, 1434 01:08:55,041 --> 01:08:58,625 can you pop in to see me gran and grandpa? 1435 01:08:58,709 --> 01:09:00,709 And they've got a present for me. 1436 01:09:00,792 --> 01:09:02,875 I told 'em it smells like sick, 1437 01:09:02,959 --> 01:09:05,792 but they don't listen. 1438 01:09:05,875 --> 01:09:09,041 [dog barking in the distance] 1439 01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:12,959 [tires screech] 1440 01:09:13,041 --> 01:09:16,041 - We haven't seen Stuart in years. 1441 01:09:16,125 --> 01:09:18,000 Lots of years. 1442 01:09:18,083 --> 01:09:19,417 - Well, 1443 01:09:19,500 --> 01:09:21,792 things haven't been very easy for him recently. 1444 01:09:21,875 --> 01:09:24,500 - Oh, his mother says it's the buses. 1445 01:09:24,583 --> 01:09:27,208 They're not convenient. 1446 01:09:33,125 --> 01:09:34,583 - Stuart? 1447 01:09:34,667 --> 01:09:35,917 - No. 1448 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,083 - Rory. His son. 1449 01:09:41,792 --> 01:09:45,542 [tea pouring] 1450 01:09:46,583 --> 01:09:49,125 - Stuart? - No. 1451 01:09:49,208 --> 01:09:53,041 - Rex. His dad. 1452 01:09:53,125 --> 01:09:57,667 - A bad man, his real dad. 1453 01:09:57,750 --> 01:10:01,875 - [whispers] Gypsies. 1454 01:10:07,041 --> 01:10:08,083 - [softly] Stuart? 1455 01:10:08,166 --> 01:10:10,792 - Gavvy. Stuart's brother. 1456 01:10:10,875 --> 01:10:15,834 - One day, when Rex was beating our Judith real bad, 1457 01:10:15,917 --> 01:10:19,291 Gavvy hit him over the head with a broom. 1458 01:10:19,375 --> 01:10:22,875 He was only five. 1459 01:10:22,959 --> 01:10:27,250 - Rex moved out after that. 1460 01:10:30,250 --> 01:10:33,542 - I know why Stuart changed. 1461 01:10:33,625 --> 01:10:37,625 Gavvy came 'round special to tell me. 1462 01:10:37,709 --> 01:10:40,417 Promised I'd never tell. 1463 01:10:40,500 --> 01:10:42,709 [stirring orchestral music] 1464 01:10:42,792 --> 01:10:45,959 Three days later, he committed suicide. 1465 01:10:46,041 --> 01:10:51,834 ♪ ♪ 1466 01:10:51,917 --> 01:10:55,041 - To celebrate his getting better. 1467 01:10:55,125 --> 01:10:57,375 Couldn't decided, red or white. 1468 01:10:57,458 --> 01:10:59,208 - Tell him to come and see us. 1469 01:10:59,291 --> 01:11:01,750 We've waited long enough. 1470 01:11:01,834 --> 01:11:04,500 - Can't wait forever. 1471 01:11:04,583 --> 01:11:11,667 ♪ ♪ 1472 01:11:24,375 --> 01:11:29,000 - Oi, you fucking star. 1473 01:11:43,375 --> 01:11:47,417 I almost died. 1474 01:11:50,375 --> 01:11:53,458 How are Ruth and John? 1475 01:11:53,542 --> 01:11:55,083 - Oh, not good. 1476 01:11:55,166 --> 01:11:57,083 - Oh. 1477 01:11:57,166 --> 01:11:59,792 - He can't work. 1478 01:11:59,875 --> 01:12:02,875 Wife says he cries in his sleep. 1479 01:12:02,959 --> 01:12:05,375 - Uh... 1480 01:12:05,458 --> 01:12:07,041 Yeah. 1481 01:12:07,125 --> 01:12:08,750 And Ruth? 1482 01:12:08,834 --> 01:12:09,917 - Got cancer. 1483 01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:13,458 - Oh... 1484 01:12:13,542 --> 01:12:15,917 Bastards. 1485 01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:18,917 Now do you see what I mean about the system? 1486 01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:20,166 - The system? 1487 01:12:20,250 --> 01:12:23,166 It's the system that's gonna keep her alive. 1488 01:12:23,250 --> 01:12:24,500 The system has just given you 1489 01:12:24,583 --> 01:12:26,917 a 5,000 pound pacemaker for nothing. 1490 01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:28,000 [knocking on door] 1491 01:12:28,083 --> 01:12:29,625 - Hello? - Excuse me, guys. 1492 01:12:29,709 --> 01:12:31,291 Either of you know where the toilet is? 1493 01:12:31,375 --> 01:12:33,000 - Uh, yeah, sure, I saw a sign that said 1494 01:12:33,083 --> 01:12:34,500 down there on the left. 1495 01:12:34,583 --> 01:12:37,583 - Thanks, mate. 1496 01:12:39,583 --> 01:12:44,250 - [high-pitched wheeze] 1497 01:12:45,250 --> 01:12:47,625 Fucking hell. 1498 01:12:47,709 --> 01:12:49,291 I need a cigarette. 1499 01:12:51,083 --> 01:12:54,917 Yeah, the whole town's like it. 1500 01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:58,166 All cripples. 1501 01:12:58,250 --> 01:13:02,959 I spent six years in a school like this. 1502 01:13:06,083 --> 01:13:09,917 The day I end up like that, eh? 1503 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:14,083 Death day. Ah. 1504 01:13:14,166 --> 01:13:16,500 - Care was like this? - No. 1505 01:13:16,583 --> 01:13:18,500 Spaggy school. 1506 01:13:18,583 --> 01:13:23,500 They sent me because of my muscular dystrophy. 1507 01:13:23,583 --> 01:13:26,625 Said I wasn't allowed to go to proper school. 1508 01:13:26,709 --> 01:13:28,417 Well, it was the '70s. 1509 01:13:28,500 --> 01:13:30,000 Funny thing, though, 1510 01:13:30,083 --> 01:13:32,375 there was nothing wrong with me at that stage. 1511 01:13:32,458 --> 01:13:34,709 I was just a bit uncoordinated. 1512 01:13:34,792 --> 01:13:38,250 But you'd hardly notice. 1513 01:13:38,333 --> 01:13:41,417 But they said, since I was going to die a spag, 1514 01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:45,500 I might as well get used to the idea... 1515 01:13:45,583 --> 01:13:47,250 [children chanting] 1516 01:13:47,333 --> 01:13:50,834 Before I was too spaggy to understand, I suppose. 1517 01:13:50,917 --> 01:13:52,291 - Now, all together. 1518 01:13:52,375 --> 01:13:55,208 [boys chanting] Stu spag, Stu spag, Stu spag! 1519 01:13:55,291 --> 01:13:57,000 Stu spag! [eggs thudding] 1520 01:13:57,083 --> 01:13:58,250 - At it! 1521 01:13:58,333 --> 01:13:59,250 - Gimpy. 1522 01:13:59,333 --> 01:14:02,083 - Oi, gimpy, come here. Yeah! 1523 01:14:02,166 --> 01:14:05,291 - Where's your brother now, gimpy? 1524 01:14:05,375 --> 01:14:06,542 [tense music] 1525 01:14:06,625 --> 01:14:08,333 Help me. - Hold me. 1526 01:14:08,417 --> 01:14:10,750 - Love me. both: Ooh. 1527 01:14:10,834 --> 01:14:14,417 ♪ ♪ 1528 01:14:14,500 --> 01:14:18,458 - We're coming to kill you. 1529 01:14:18,542 --> 01:14:25,709 ♪ ♪ 1530 01:14:30,875 --> 01:14:33,458 - Did they kick the shit out of you? 1531 01:14:33,542 --> 01:14:36,792 - Every day, mate. 1532 01:14:36,875 --> 01:14:40,375 Gave them something to do after school. 1533 01:14:40,458 --> 01:14:41,458 [crying] 1534 01:14:41,542 --> 01:14:45,709 Then Gavvy would console me. 1535 01:14:46,959 --> 01:14:49,583 Please, not Howarth. 1536 01:14:49,667 --> 01:14:51,250 Please not him. 1537 01:14:51,333 --> 01:14:53,458 - Only one month out of Papworth, 1538 01:14:53,542 --> 01:14:55,709 Stuart's day in court for attempting to cut off 1539 01:14:55,792 --> 01:14:58,125 his neighbor's head finally arrived. 1540 01:14:58,208 --> 01:15:00,625 We were dreading it would be Ruth and John's old judge. 1541 01:15:00,709 --> 01:15:02,959 - Oh, fuck! 1542 01:15:03,041 --> 01:15:05,542 - All rise for Justice Howarth. 1543 01:15:07,542 --> 01:15:09,166 - At this point, Stuart really was looking at 1544 01:15:09,250 --> 01:15:11,959 being in prison for life. 1545 01:15:15,542 --> 01:15:18,750 - The court is now in session. 1546 01:15:20,667 --> 01:15:23,750 - Ah. Oh. 1547 01:15:25,500 --> 01:15:29,792 - Uh, this case concerns Stuart Clive Shorter. 1548 01:15:29,875 --> 01:15:32,250 [scattered murmuring] 1549 01:15:32,333 --> 01:15:34,792 Affray. 1550 01:15:34,875 --> 01:15:36,250 Disorderly conduct. 1551 01:15:36,333 --> 01:15:37,500 Resisting arrest. 1552 01:15:37,583 --> 01:15:41,792 An incident at the accused's flat. 1553 01:15:43,083 --> 01:15:44,250 - [mumbles] 1554 01:15:46,041 --> 01:15:49,709 [overlapping chatter] 1555 01:15:49,792 --> 01:15:52,917 - Excuse me, please. 1556 01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:56,291 - No. 1557 01:15:56,375 --> 01:16:00,000 No, he just said the whole thing was nonsense. 1558 01:16:00,083 --> 01:16:02,417 All that adding charges, taking him away, 1559 01:16:02,500 --> 01:16:03,959 attempted murder, not attempted murder... 1560 01:16:04,041 --> 01:16:05,709 - [chuckles] I don't know, I mean, 1561 01:16:05,792 --> 01:16:06,792 what can I say? 1562 01:16:06,875 --> 01:16:08,166 The lucky bastard got off 1563 01:16:08,250 --> 01:16:10,083 on a series of technicalities. 1564 01:16:10,166 --> 01:16:11,583 Come on, 1565 01:16:11,667 --> 01:16:13,792 you know what Judge Howarth thinks about alcohol. 1566 01:16:13,875 --> 01:16:15,291 - Ooh! - Ooh, shit. 1567 01:16:15,375 --> 01:16:17,000 Stuart, I'm so sorry. Are you all right? 1568 01:16:17,083 --> 01:16:18,083 - I'm all good. 1569 01:16:18,166 --> 01:16:19,625 - [laughs] I'm so sorry. Come on! 1570 01:16:19,709 --> 01:16:21,834 [Style Council's "Headstart for Happiness"] 1571 01:16:21,917 --> 01:16:26,375 He's free. He's absolutely fucking free. 1572 01:16:26,458 --> 01:16:28,417 [laughs] Come on. 1573 01:16:28,500 --> 01:16:31,333 Yay! Come on! [laughs] 1574 01:16:31,417 --> 01:16:34,959 - ♪ We've got to headstart for happiness ♪ 1575 01:16:35,041 --> 01:16:38,208 ♪ For our part guess we must be blessed ♪ 1576 01:16:38,291 --> 01:16:41,917 ♪ For this feeling to be so strong ♪ 1577 01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:44,959 ♪ Tell me is that so wrong? ♪ 1578 01:16:45,041 --> 01:16:47,083 ♪ ♪ 1579 01:16:47,166 --> 01:16:50,250 [indistinct talking] 1580 01:16:50,333 --> 01:16:57,291 ♪ ♪ 1581 01:16:57,375 --> 01:16:58,458 - [fart blows] - Ugh. 1582 01:16:58,542 --> 01:17:01,250 [laughs] Oh, you're disgusting. 1583 01:17:01,333 --> 01:17:02,542 - Ow. 1584 01:17:02,625 --> 01:17:05,750 - There we are. How beautiful is that? 1585 01:17:05,834 --> 01:17:08,709 - Wakey wakey. 1586 01:17:08,792 --> 01:17:12,917 - ♪ We've got a headstart for happiness... ♪ 1587 01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:14,375 Hmm. 1588 01:17:14,458 --> 01:17:16,583 Sun's got his hat on, mate. 1589 01:17:16,667 --> 01:17:18,375 Sun has got his hat on, mate. 1590 01:17:18,458 --> 01:17:19,542 - [blows nose] 1591 01:17:19,625 --> 01:17:21,417 - Rise and shine. 1592 01:17:21,500 --> 01:17:24,458 Now, I've gotta find a suit for me sister's wedding. 1593 01:17:24,542 --> 01:17:25,500 - [groans] 1594 01:17:25,583 --> 01:17:27,333 - Can you give me a lift? 1595 01:17:27,417 --> 01:17:31,542 [engine revs] 1596 01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:42,166 Have you listened to the tape? 1597 01:17:57,083 --> 01:18:01,834 I was nine, Alexander, when it started. 1598 01:18:01,917 --> 01:18:04,667 Nine. 1599 01:18:04,750 --> 01:18:07,291 It was three years of abuse. 1600 01:18:07,375 --> 01:18:08,417 [ominous music] 1601 01:18:08,500 --> 01:18:12,041 My own brother. [crying] 1602 01:18:12,125 --> 01:18:14,000 [sighs] 1603 01:18:14,083 --> 01:18:15,834 ♪ ♪ 1604 01:18:15,917 --> 01:18:18,834 And then his mate joined in. 1605 01:18:18,917 --> 01:18:21,542 ♪ ♪ 1606 01:18:21,625 --> 01:18:26,375 [crying] 1607 01:18:26,458 --> 01:18:28,625 ♪ ♪ 1608 01:18:28,709 --> 01:18:30,333 That night, 1609 01:18:30,417 --> 01:18:31,625 I ju--I couldn't-- 1610 01:18:31,709 --> 01:18:36,041 I couldn't take it no more, you know? 1611 01:18:36,125 --> 01:18:39,959 They had done everything. 1612 01:18:42,709 --> 01:18:45,875 There was nothing more they could do. 1613 01:18:45,959 --> 01:18:53,083 ♪ ♪ 1614 01:18:55,041 --> 01:18:57,375 [muffled whimpering] 1615 01:18:57,458 --> 01:18:59,750 [sniffles] 1616 01:19:01,959 --> 01:19:05,000 [exhales deeply] 1617 01:19:12,959 --> 01:19:14,792 Eh, you got any more of these? 1618 01:19:14,875 --> 01:19:17,500 - Yeah. Back seat, I think. 1619 01:19:18,166 --> 01:19:20,625 - I think the reason Mum still pampers him like she does 1620 01:19:20,709 --> 01:19:24,625 is because she feels guilty about what Gavvy did. 1621 01:19:24,709 --> 01:19:28,083 But he did the same to me. 1622 01:19:28,166 --> 01:19:29,875 I'm the same as Stu. 1623 01:19:29,959 --> 01:19:31,625 One minute, nice as pie. 1624 01:19:31,709 --> 01:19:33,625 Next minute, I'm a rattlesnake. 1625 01:19:33,709 --> 01:19:35,125 [tense music] 1626 01:19:35,208 --> 01:19:36,917 - How'd I get to be like this? 1627 01:19:37,000 --> 01:19:38,792 What murdered the little boy I was? 1628 01:19:38,875 --> 01:19:40,125 - When the police found Gavvy, 1629 01:19:40,208 --> 01:19:41,709 they said he'd really suffered. 1630 01:19:41,792 --> 01:19:43,375 - [screams] 1631 01:19:43,458 --> 01:19:44,667 Oh, for fuck's sake. 1632 01:19:44,750 --> 01:19:46,667 - Legs all over the show. 1633 01:19:46,750 --> 01:19:49,083 [fire whooshes] - That boy has suffered. 1634 01:19:49,166 --> 01:19:50,917 - [grunts] 1635 01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:52,959 - [echoing] Happy-go-lucky little thing. 1636 01:19:53,041 --> 01:19:55,291 - Mr. Laverack, here's Stuart. - [screams] 1637 01:19:55,375 --> 01:19:56,875 - Poor boy. Poor boy. 1638 01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:58,417 - Out of the frying pan, back into the fire. 1639 01:19:58,500 --> 01:19:59,667 - Do it! Do it now! 1640 01:19:59,750 --> 01:20:01,667 both: Stuart spag, Stuart spag. 1641 01:20:01,750 --> 01:20:03,458 Stuart spag, Stuart spag, Stuart spag. 1642 01:20:03,542 --> 01:20:05,375 - We're going to kill you. 1643 01:20:05,458 --> 01:20:07,125 - The tablets he took had eaten his kidneys 1644 01:20:07,208 --> 01:20:09,000 and his liver away before he died. 1645 01:20:09,083 --> 01:20:12,542 - Always such a caring boy. Happy-go-lucky little thing. 1646 01:20:12,625 --> 01:20:14,125 - [echoing] And I'm glad. 1647 01:20:14,208 --> 01:20:16,917 - [yelps] - I'm glad Gavvy suffered. 1648 01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,959 [speech echoing] 1649 01:20:19,041 --> 01:20:24,417 ♪ ♪ 1650 01:20:24,500 --> 01:20:28,291 - Eh, that's Gavvy. 1651 01:20:28,375 --> 01:20:31,083 [moans] 1652 01:20:31,166 --> 01:20:34,250 That's Gavvy and me. 1653 01:20:36,709 --> 01:20:38,333 Ah. 1654 01:20:39,542 --> 01:20:44,208 - So he's what murdered the boy you were? 1655 01:20:44,291 --> 01:20:45,625 What made you change? 1656 01:20:45,709 --> 01:20:50,166 - Nah, that wasn't it. 1657 01:20:50,250 --> 01:20:53,333 - What was it then? 1658 01:20:53,417 --> 01:20:58,875 - So many people have had the same sort of childhood 1659 01:20:58,959 --> 01:21:01,166 and experiences as what I had, 1660 01:21:01,250 --> 01:21:03,500 and they've learned to accept 1661 01:21:03,583 --> 01:21:06,166 and cope and live a very, 1662 01:21:06,250 --> 01:21:07,917 in brackets, 1663 01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:10,583 normal and competitive life. 1664 01:21:10,667 --> 01:21:14,875 I'm quite philosophical about that. 1665 01:21:16,750 --> 01:21:18,083 [groans] 1666 01:21:18,166 --> 01:21:19,875 - If you had to change one thing about your life, 1667 01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:21,291 what would it be? 1668 01:21:21,375 --> 01:21:24,000 - Well, how much is one thing? 1669 01:21:24,083 --> 01:21:28,291 And it's very easy to blame, isn't it? 1670 01:21:29,375 --> 01:21:32,333 Me muscular dystrophy? 1671 01:21:32,417 --> 01:21:35,041 The nonces? 1672 01:21:35,125 --> 01:21:36,542 Gavvy? 1673 01:21:36,625 --> 01:21:37,709 Eh. 1674 01:21:37,792 --> 01:21:41,625 Honestly, it'd be easier to change me. 1675 01:21:41,709 --> 01:21:44,166 - One thing only. 1676 01:21:44,250 --> 01:21:45,875 - [wheezes] 1677 01:21:45,959 --> 01:21:48,083 Uh. 1678 01:21:48,166 --> 01:21:51,333 Mm. 1679 01:21:51,417 --> 01:21:55,834 The day I discovered violence. 1680 01:21:55,917 --> 01:21:58,375 Me stepfather 1681 01:21:58,458 --> 01:22:00,250 said if I didn't go out there 1682 01:22:00,333 --> 01:22:02,750 and stick up for myself, 1683 01:22:02,834 --> 01:22:06,166 he'd belt us one. 1684 01:22:06,250 --> 01:22:09,166 [ominous music] 1685 01:22:09,250 --> 01:22:16,333 ♪ ♪ 1686 01:22:22,333 --> 01:22:24,500 [distant children playing] 1687 01:22:37,667 --> 01:22:39,458 [grunts] 1688 01:22:39,542 --> 01:22:43,250 Fucking fantastic. 1689 01:22:43,333 --> 01:22:45,291 ♪ ♪ 1690 01:22:45,375 --> 01:22:46,458 - Oh! 1691 01:22:46,542 --> 01:22:49,750 - The weakling became strong. 1692 01:22:50,291 --> 01:22:54,792 On the day that I found violence, 1693 01:22:54,875 --> 01:22:58,333 I felt 50 times more strong. 1694 01:22:58,417 --> 01:23:01,083 And--and after you've been 1695 01:23:01,166 --> 01:23:04,458 bullied and pushed about 1696 01:23:04,542 --> 01:23:06,208 and called spastic, 1697 01:23:06,291 --> 01:23:07,792 you learn 1698 01:23:07,875 --> 01:23:11,583 that the violence and the fear of violence 1699 01:23:11,667 --> 01:23:16,208 and madness, it scares people. 1700 01:23:17,291 --> 01:23:19,041 I used to deliberately 1701 01:23:19,125 --> 01:23:22,625 get myself into rages. 1702 01:23:22,709 --> 01:23:24,709 And after six months, 1703 01:23:24,792 --> 01:23:28,000 I found I couldn't stop them. 1704 01:23:28,083 --> 01:23:32,709 I wasn't making the madness up no more. 1705 01:23:32,792 --> 01:23:34,709 [wheezes] 1706 01:23:34,792 --> 01:23:39,750 You know what, Alexander? 1707 01:23:39,834 --> 01:23:41,667 I don't know myself, 1708 01:23:41,750 --> 01:23:44,375 how I got to be 1709 01:23:44,458 --> 01:23:47,000 like this. 1710 01:23:47,083 --> 01:23:52,125 Sometimes I think I'm the child of the devil. 1711 01:23:52,208 --> 01:23:53,333 Mm. 1712 01:23:53,417 --> 01:23:55,583 I let the devil in. 1713 01:23:55,667 --> 01:23:57,959 [solemn piano music] 1714 01:23:58,041 --> 01:24:01,834 Now I can't get him out. 1715 01:24:01,917 --> 01:24:04,333 I tried 1716 01:24:04,417 --> 01:24:09,792 burning him out and cutting him out. 1717 01:24:09,875 --> 01:24:12,792 He don't take no notice. 1718 01:24:12,875 --> 01:24:14,792 Why should he? 1719 01:24:14,875 --> 01:24:17,875 He don't wanna be homeless. 1720 01:24:17,959 --> 01:24:22,375 ♪ ♪ 1721 01:24:22,458 --> 01:24:25,291 Mm. 1722 01:24:25,375 --> 01:24:29,417 ♪ ♪ 1723 01:24:29,500 --> 01:24:31,375 - You know, there's still one question left. 1724 01:24:31,458 --> 01:24:33,792 - What's that, mate? - Guess. 1725 01:24:33,875 --> 01:24:35,458 - Uh... 1726 01:24:35,542 --> 01:24:37,417 - We're writing the book backwards. 1727 01:24:37,500 --> 01:24:38,834 - Uh? 1728 01:24:38,917 --> 01:24:41,750 - So what's the last bit of information we need? 1729 01:24:41,834 --> 01:24:43,000 [tender music] 1730 01:24:43,083 --> 01:24:45,375 - Um, what? 1731 01:24:45,458 --> 01:24:47,500 - What's your date of birth? 1732 01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:49,166 - Oh, right. Yeah. 1733 01:24:49,250 --> 01:24:51,250 Oh, well. 1734 01:24:51,333 --> 01:24:55,375 I am Stuart Clive Shorter. 1735 01:24:55,458 --> 01:25:00,291 And I was born on the 19th of the 9th, 1736 01:25:00,375 --> 01:25:02,375 1968. 1737 01:25:02,458 --> 01:25:04,250 - Hmm. 1738 01:25:04,333 --> 01:25:05,333 - Here. 1739 01:25:05,417 --> 01:25:08,250 - So you're... 1740 01:25:08,333 --> 01:25:09,417 You're 33. 1741 01:25:09,500 --> 01:25:12,417 - I am 33, and I'm getting older, 1742 01:25:12,500 --> 01:25:14,625 as they say. 1743 01:25:14,709 --> 01:25:19,291 And I have led a very controversial 1744 01:25:19,375 --> 01:25:24,083 and, unpleasant life. 1745 01:25:24,166 --> 01:25:26,500 Oh, yeah. 1746 01:25:26,583 --> 01:25:28,625 [Jerry Keller's "Here Comes Summer"] 1747 01:25:28,709 --> 01:25:30,583 Hey. - [chuckles] 1748 01:25:30,667 --> 01:25:34,375 - Best man or what, eh? 1749 01:25:34,458 --> 01:25:36,542 [mimics gunshots] 1750 01:25:36,625 --> 01:25:38,500 - [chuckles] 1751 01:25:38,583 --> 01:25:40,834 - It's gonna be grand. 1752 01:25:40,917 --> 01:25:43,333 - ♪ We'll go steady right away ♪ 1753 01:25:43,417 --> 01:25:46,458 ♪ And let the sun shine bright ♪ 1754 01:25:46,542 --> 01:25:49,500 ♪ On my happy summer home ♪ 1755 01:25:49,583 --> 01:25:52,583 ♪ Let the sun shine bright ♪ 1756 01:25:52,667 --> 01:25:55,959 ♪ On my happy ♪ 1757 01:25:56,041 --> 01:26:00,291 ♪ Summer home ♪ 1758 01:26:00,375 --> 01:26:04,709 ♪ ♪ 1759 01:26:04,792 --> 01:26:06,208 - P-P-Peterborough. 1760 01:26:06,291 --> 01:26:09,125 - Cambridge. 1761 01:26:09,208 --> 01:26:13,000 On 96 and 95.7 FM. 1762 01:26:13,083 --> 01:26:14,542 - And 1026 AM. 1763 01:26:14,625 --> 01:26:17,166 - BBC's Radio Cambridge here. 1764 01:26:17,250 --> 01:26:19,000 - The top story this hour... 1765 01:26:19,083 --> 01:26:23,208 [indistinct speech] 1766 01:26:26,333 --> 01:26:28,542 ...near the French entrance to the Channel tunnel. 1767 01:26:28,625 --> 01:26:30,500 Police have now formally identified 1768 01:26:30,583 --> 01:26:33,500 the man who died after being hit by a train near Cambridge 1769 01:26:33,583 --> 01:26:35,000 early this morning. 1770 01:26:35,083 --> 01:26:37,500 He was Stuart Shorter, a 33-year-old 1771 01:26:37,583 --> 01:26:38,667 from Waterbeach. 1772 01:26:38,750 --> 01:26:40,417 The coroner has been informed, 1773 01:26:40,500 --> 01:26:43,875 and an inquest will take place at a date to be fixed. 1774 01:26:43,959 --> 01:26:46,875 [ominous music] 1775 01:26:46,959 --> 01:26:47,875 ♪ ♪ 1776 01:26:47,959 --> 01:26:50,500 [clicking button on phone] 1777 01:26:50,583 --> 01:26:53,583 - [indistinct speech on radio] 1778 01:26:53,667 --> 01:26:55,875 ♪ ♪ 1779 01:26:55,959 --> 01:26:58,959 - Judith. It's Alexander. 1780 01:26:59,041 --> 01:27:00,834 ♪ ♪ 1781 01:27:00,917 --> 01:27:03,709 [church bells ring] 1782 01:27:03,792 --> 01:27:06,917 - "Blessed be the God and father of our Lord, 1783 01:27:07,000 --> 01:27:08,083 Jesus Christ..." 1784 01:27:08,166 --> 01:27:10,166 - Was it suicide? 1785 01:27:10,250 --> 01:27:12,125 I don't know. 1786 01:27:12,208 --> 01:27:14,208 He didn't leave a note. 1787 01:27:14,291 --> 01:27:17,750 But then, suicides often don't. 1788 01:27:17,834 --> 01:27:19,875 All I do know is that he stepped in front 1789 01:27:19,959 --> 01:27:22,542 of the 11:15 Cambridge-to-King's Lane. 1790 01:27:22,625 --> 01:27:25,083 - ...Thee of good cheer. 1791 01:27:25,166 --> 01:27:28,792 I have overcome the world, says the Lord. 1792 01:27:28,875 --> 01:27:33,542 Since the earthly life of Stuart has come to an end, 1793 01:27:33,625 --> 01:27:36,417 we commit his body to be buried. 1794 01:27:36,500 --> 01:27:40,083 Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, 1795 01:27:40,166 --> 01:27:41,583 dust to dust, 1796 01:27:41,667 --> 01:27:43,166 in sure and certain hope 1797 01:27:43,250 --> 01:27:45,583 of the resurrection to eternal life 1798 01:27:45,667 --> 01:27:47,667 through our Lord, Jesus Christ. 1799 01:27:47,750 --> 01:27:50,375 Amen. all: Amen. 1800 01:27:50,458 --> 01:27:52,291 [rock music playing] 1801 01:27:52,375 --> 01:27:55,208 [overlapping chatter, shouting] 1802 01:27:55,291 --> 01:28:02,333 ♪ ♪ 1803 01:28:08,458 --> 01:28:11,333 [birds chirping] 1804 01:28:11,417 --> 01:28:14,500 [cans and bottles clink] 1805 01:28:22,709 --> 01:28:25,709 [upbeat jazz music playing] 1806 01:28:25,792 --> 01:28:32,875 ♪ ♪ 1807 01:28:41,792 --> 01:28:44,542 [cassette player clacks] 1808 01:28:45,542 --> 01:28:47,458 - Hello, Alexander. 1809 01:28:47,542 --> 01:28:50,750 It's Stuart. - Hello, Stuart. 1810 01:28:50,834 --> 01:28:55,083 - You know, admitting I've had lots to drink and that 1811 01:28:55,166 --> 01:28:59,500 I can't help but reflect about my brother 1812 01:28:59,583 --> 01:29:01,792 and my brother's friend, 1813 01:29:01,875 --> 01:29:05,166 and they didn't believe me. 1814 01:29:05,250 --> 01:29:09,166 And then in care, the abuse. 1815 01:29:09,250 --> 01:29:10,959 Being asked to do things 1816 01:29:11,041 --> 01:29:13,333 that I wouldn't have thought possible 1817 01:29:13,417 --> 01:29:17,000 that anyone could ask of an 11-year-old. 1818 01:29:17,083 --> 01:29:19,917 [stirring orchestral music] 1819 01:29:20,000 --> 01:29:24,291 I just head-butted and head-butted 1820 01:29:24,375 --> 01:29:26,500 and head-butted 1821 01:29:26,583 --> 01:29:29,750 and head-butted. 1822 01:29:29,834 --> 01:29:31,834 The more you speak, 1823 01:29:31,917 --> 01:29:35,000 the more you're disbelieved. 1824 01:29:35,083 --> 01:29:38,917 And nobody was listening to anything I had to say. 1825 01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:40,291 ♪ ♪ 1826 01:29:40,375 --> 01:29:42,709 When I've got my drink inside me, 1827 01:29:42,792 --> 01:29:44,208 I sit here, 1828 01:29:44,291 --> 01:29:48,792 having mad conversations with myself, 1829 01:29:48,875 --> 01:29:52,625 talking about mutilating myself. 1830 01:29:52,709 --> 01:29:55,959 Killing myself. 1831 01:29:56,041 --> 01:30:00,709 Tracking down those who are responsible. 1832 01:30:00,792 --> 01:30:04,542 I want to just lay down and die. 1833 01:30:04,625 --> 01:30:07,041 ♪ ♪ 1834 01:30:07,125 --> 01:30:09,458 I feel so dirty 1835 01:30:09,542 --> 01:30:11,500 and fucking horrible, 1836 01:30:11,583 --> 01:30:15,625 and hating and attacking anyone I get close to. 1837 01:30:15,709 --> 01:30:17,041 ♪ ♪ 1838 01:30:17,125 --> 01:30:21,583 I just wish, once, 1839 01:30:21,667 --> 01:30:26,250 there could be an escape from this madness. 1840 01:30:26,333 --> 01:30:33,083 ♪ ♪ 1841 01:30:33,166 --> 01:30:36,250 [Badly Drawn Boy's "A Minor Incident" plays] 1842 01:30:36,333 --> 01:30:39,834 ♪ ♪ 1843 01:30:39,917 --> 01:30:42,166 - The book was finally published 1844 01:30:42,250 --> 01:30:44,583 in April, 2005. 1845 01:30:44,667 --> 01:30:48,083 ♪ ♪ 1846 01:30:48,166 --> 01:30:51,500 I think Stuart would have liked it. 1847 01:30:51,583 --> 01:30:58,667 ♪ ♪ 1848 01:30:59,333 --> 01:31:01,417 - ♪ There's nothing I could say ♪ 1849 01:31:01,500 --> 01:31:05,041 ♪ To make you try to feel okay ♪ 1850 01:31:05,125 --> 01:31:07,500 ♪ And nothing you could do ♪ 1851 01:31:07,583 --> 01:31:10,917 ♪ To stop me feeling the way I do ♪ 1852 01:31:11,000 --> 01:31:13,375 ♪ And if the chance should happen ♪ 1853 01:31:13,458 --> 01:31:16,417 ♪ That I never see you again ♪ 1854 01:31:16,500 --> 01:31:18,083 ♪ Just remember that ♪ 1855 01:31:18,166 --> 01:31:20,208 ♪ I'll always love you ♪ 1856 01:31:20,291 --> 01:31:27,375 ♪ ♪ 1857 01:31:36,792 --> 01:31:39,625 ♪ I'd be a better person ♪ 1858 01:31:39,709 --> 01:31:42,417 ♪ On the other side I'm sure ♪ 1859 01:31:42,500 --> 01:31:45,875 ♪ You'd find a way to help yourself ♪ 1860 01:31:46,000 --> 01:31:48,583 ♪ And find another door ♪ 1861 01:31:48,667 --> 01:31:51,834 ♪ To shrug off minor incidents ♪ 1862 01:31:51,917 --> 01:31:54,166 ♪ And make us both feel proud ♪ 1863 01:31:54,250 --> 01:31:56,667 ♪ I just wish I could be there ♪ 1864 01:31:56,750 --> 01:31:58,667 ♪ To see you through ♪ 1865 01:31:58,750 --> 01:32:00,542 ♪ ♪