1
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,209
>> I'M JUST HEADING
TO THE FIELDS, DUKE.

2
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:09,677
I'LL BE BACK.

3
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,612
[engine revs]

4
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,247
[sheep baaing]

5
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,282
>> CLEAR!

6
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,284
[rollicking fiddle music]

7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,985
>> ALL RIGHT.

8
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:19,353
* *

9
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,854
>> RAT-A-BUNGA!

10
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,190
>> * FROM THE HAY STACKS *

11
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:24,125
* UP TO THE HILLTOPS *

12
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,293
* WE GO ON DANCIN' *

13
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,760
>> WHOO-HOO!

14
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,163
>> * DO THE BOOGIE-WOOGIE
THROUGH THE NIGHT *

15
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:30,864
>> OW. OW.
OKAY, OW.

16
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,400
OW!

17
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:35,636
>> * DO-SI-DO
YOUR PARTNER NOW *

18
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:39,307
* GO PARTY
TILL MORNIN' LIGHT *

19
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,941
* DO-SI-DO
AND DON'T YOU KNOW *

20
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:43,177
* IT'S JUST THE WAY
WE ANIMALS ROLL *

21
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,912
[engine revving]

22
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:45,913
>> HA HA!

23
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:51,385
[jaunty instrumental music]

24
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:58,292
* *

25
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,229
>> COVER YOUR SKULLS.

26
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,131
PROTECT YOUR VITAL ORGANS.

27
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,832
>> YOU CAN RUN,
BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE

28
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,434
FROM SLAUGHTER BALL.

29
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,435
A-LA-LA-LA-LA-LLL!

30
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:08,736
[groans and grunts]

31
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,504
>> HA! HOME BASE.

32
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,440
PIP AND I ARE SAFE.
MEH.

33
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,375
>> YOU GOT TO LEAVE
THAT TREE SOMETIME.

34
00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:15,643
>> NO, NO, ACTUALLY,
WE NEVER HAVE TO.

35
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:16,877
>> YEAH, WE'RE GOOD.

36
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,246
>> AH, IS THAT A SCORPION
ON THAT TREE?

37
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,280
>> AH, SCORPION!
GET IT--

38
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:20,814
thwap!

39
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,717
>> YES, I AM THE MASTER.

40
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,519
HEY, WHO WANTS TO PLAY AGAIN?

41
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,854
>> PASS.
>> MY BLOOD'S MISSING.

42
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,722
>> I SMELL TOAST.

43
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,023
>> TELEGRAM FOR ABBY THE COW.

44
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:32,393
>> OH, RIGHT HERE.

45
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:33,427
>> WHAT IS IT?
WHO SENT YOU--

46
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:34,762
>> WHOO-HOO!

47
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,797
MY COUSIN VERONICA'S COMING
TO VISIT TODAY.

48
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:37,998
>> THAT'S NICE.

49
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:39,500
UM, DO YOU HAVE
ANY SURGICAL GAUZE?

50
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,402
>> YOU GUYS
ARE GONNA LOVE VERONICA.

51
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:42,770
SHE IS A CRACK-UP.

52
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,338
WE USED TO DO EVERYTHING
TOGETHER,

53
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:45,539
I'M TELLING YOU, EVERYTHING.

54
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,642
WE'D WRESTLE AND KICKBOX
AND GO EXPLORING.

55
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:51,212
OOH, SHE'S JUST LIKE ME
IN EVERY WAY.

56
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:54,482
>> J-JUST LIKE YOU?

57
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,984
both: A-LA-LA-LA-LA-LLL!

58
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,186
thwap!
thwap!

59
00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,353
>> OH! OW!

60
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,555
both: AAAH!

61
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,524
>> AAAH!

62
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:05,959
thwap!

63
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,695
[all scream]
>> MAKE IT STOP!

64
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,597
>> WHY DID YOU BOYS
JUST SCREAM IN TERROR?

65
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,799
>> OH, HOW DO YOU MEAN?
>> I DIDN'T SCREAM.

66
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,802
>> ANYWAY, I BETTER GO GET READY
FOR VERONICA'S VISIT.

67
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:16,604
OOH, THIS IS GONNA BE
SO MUCH FUN.

68
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,105
WHOO-HOO!

69
00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:22,210
>> OTIS, WE ALL LOVE ABBY,
BUT TWO OF HER WOULD DESTROY US.

70
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,212
>> GUYS, WE GOT TO MEET
THIS SITUATION HEAD ON.

71
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,946
>> YOU MEAN HIDE
UNTIL HER COUSIN LEAVES?

72
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,248
>> EXACTLY.
TO THE ROOT CELLAR.

73
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,317
>> LET'S GO!

74
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:31,685
>> OTIS?

75
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,221
OTIS, WHERE ARE YOU?

76
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,822
VERONICA'S COMING ANY MINUTE,

77
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:36,990
AND I NEED TO PRACTICE
MY POWER SERVE.

78
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,059
[door creaking]

79
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,030
>> [gasps]

80
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:44,432
[whispering]
IT'S ABBY.

81
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,834
>> [whispering] YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

82
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,637
>> WHAT ARE YOU BOYS DOING
HIDING IN THE ROOT CELLAR?

83
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,071
>> HA-HA, OH, HEY.
H--WHOA.

84
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:52,506
WE'RE JUST GETTING READY
TO, UM--

85
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:53,441
>> TO GO FISHING.
>> YEAH.

86
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,908
>> ON MARS.

87
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,577
>> WE'RE NOT HIDING,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE--

88
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:57,578
>> NO MORE TALKING.

89
00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:58,879
>> IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,

90
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,748
I'D SAY YOU FELLOWS
WERE AVOIDING VERONICA.

91
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:01,815
>> WHAT?

92
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,251
THAT IS PATENTLY RIDICULOUS.

93
00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:04,718
>> ABSURD.
>> THE MERE IDEA.

94
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,387
>> AFRAID OF A GIRL?

95
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,356
>> YOO-HOO, ABBY.

96
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,057
all: AH!

97
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,393
>> VERONICA, VERONICA.

98
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,462
VERONICA?

99
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,264
[cow brays]

100
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:17,531
[sultry saxophone music]

101
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:21,602
GOSH, VERONICA,
YOU'VE CHANGED A LOT.

102
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,271
>> WELL, NOT YOU, DEAR.

103
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,938
STILL CUTE AS A BUTTON.

104
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:26,274
DO YOU MIND?

105
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,276
>> SORRY.

106
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,510
>> SO IS IT SAFE?

107
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:30,711
>> YEAH, IS IT SAFE?

108
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:33,113
all: [cat calling]

109
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,920
>> MY, ABBY, YOU CERTAINLY
DIDN'T TELL ME

110
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:42,356
YOU LIVED
WITH SUCH HANDSOME MENFOLK.

111
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:43,557
>> OH, THEM?

112
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:44,892
THEY WERE JUST LEAVING
TO GO FISHING.

113
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,026
>> HI, VERONICA.
I'M OTIS.

114
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,528
AND THESE ARE SOME JERKS.

115
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,029
>> I'M PIP.
I'M ADORABLE.

116
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,998
>> I'M POCK--PICK--PECK.

117
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,534
>> HI. [stammering]
I MEAN--I MEAN--HA-HA HI.

118
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:55,403
HI, HI, HI--HA-HA-HA.

119
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:57,738
>> MY NAME'S FRE-EHHH...

120
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,675
>> WHY ARE Y'ALL ACTING
SO STUPID?

121
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,611
>> OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT, SUGAR.

122
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,780
WHO CAN HEAR THEM OVER ALL
THAT HUNKINESS?

123
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,115
[all giggling]

124
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,983
>> [high-pitched voice]
SHE CALLED US HUNKY.

125
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,619
>> RIGHT.

126
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,887
ANYWAY, VERONICA,
WE'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN.

127
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,823
WE'LL PLAY SLAUGHTER BALL,
CREAM THE CRITTER,

128
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,326
AND YOUR FAVORITE GAME,
THUMPER BATS.

129
00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:20,394
>> ABBY, NO, YOU MIGHT BRUISE
HER FLAWLESS SKIN.

130
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,496
>> OR MUSS HER LUXURIOUS HAIR.

131
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,565
>> UH, HI--HA--HI.
HI--

132
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,500
>> NOW, VERONICA,
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,

133
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,835
ANYTHING AT ALL--

134
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,337
>> I WANT TO DO SOMETHING
FOR HER.

135
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,204
>> GUYS, PLEASE, I'M TRYING
TO HAVE QUALITY TIME

136
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:32,340
WITH ABBY'S HOT COUSIN.

137
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:33,441
>> I WANT QUALITY TIME.

138
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,742
>> NO, NO, ME.
>> GET OUT OF MY WAY.

139
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,244
>> GRRR.

140
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:42,750
>> OH, DUKE, YOU HAVE
SUCH HEALING POWERS.

141
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,118
>> I LIVE TO SERVE YOU,
MY QUEEN.

142
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,754
>> VERONICA, YOU'VE BEEN HERE
FOR DAYS,

143
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,622
AND WE HAVEN'T PLAYED
THUMPER BATS ONCE.

144
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,023
HOW ABOUT IT?

145
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,526
>> NOT RIGHT NOW, DEAR.
I'M A LITTLE BUSY.

146
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,462
>> UH, VERONICA,
I WORKED ALL NIGHT

147
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,029
TO MAKE YOU MY SPECIAL
CORN PIEROGIES

148
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,598
WITH IMPORTED OWL CHEESE.

149
00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:58,866
>> VERONICA.
>> VERONICA.

150
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,768
HEY, VERONICA, WE'RE NOT SURE
WHAT GIRLS LIKE,

151
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,470
SO WE BROUGHT YOU
THESE WORMS.

152
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:03,904
>> AND THIS LIGHTNING ROD.

153
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,839
EE-YEE-YEE-YEE-YEE.

154
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:08,175
YAH-AH-AH-AH-AH.

155
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,710
[pants and sighs]

156
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,380
[engine rumbling]

157
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,681
>> LOOK, VERONICA.

158
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,383
I TURNED THE TRACTOR
INTO A MONSTER CAR

159
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:16,684
SO I COULD TAKE YOU
FOR A RIDE.

160
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,820
PRETTY SNAZ.

161
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:23,090
>> WHY RIDE IN THAT HUNK OF JUNK
WHEN YOU CAN DRIVE IN STYLE?

162
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,525
>> WHAT?
SHE CAN'T EVEN FIT IN THAT.

163
00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:25,593
>> I'LL MAKE ROOM.

164
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,995
[frantic arguing]

165
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,129
>> IT'S PHYSICS.

166
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,531
>> BOYS, BOYS.
[cow brays]

167
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,800
YOU'RE ALL BEING AWFULLY SWEET.

168
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,735
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

169
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,037
DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL'S
BEST FRIEND.

170
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:38,506
>> DIAMONDS?

171
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,307
>> WHERE ARE WE GONNA FIND
DIAMONDS IN THE BARNYARD?

172
00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:42,175
>> WELL, THIS LITTLE OLD U.S.
GEOLOGICAL SURVEY MAP

173
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:43,444
SAYS THERE'S A WHOLE PASSEL
OF DIAMONDS

174
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:44,745
RIGHT UNDER THAT MEADOW.

175
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,247
WHAT? VERONICA,
YOU CAN'T HONESTLY EXPECT

176
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:48,949
THOSE BOYS WILL AGREE
TO DIG DIAMONDS FOR YOU.

177
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,217
>> WAIT FOR IT.

178
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:51,719
>> I'LL GET THOSE DIAMONDS
FOR YOU.

179
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,186
>> NOT IF I GET THEM FIRST.
>> NO ME.

180
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,422
>> TO THE EARTH!

181
00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:56,490
>> OUT OF MY WAY.
>> EAT MY DUST.

182
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,325
>> VERONICA, I DON'T THINK
I LIKE THE WAY

183
00:05:58,426 --> 00:05:59,960
YOU'RE USING MY FRIENDS.

184
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,729
>> ABBY, WISE UP.

185
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,497
YOU'RE LIVING OVER
A FORTUNE IN DIAMONDS,

186
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,199
AND THESE MINDLESS LOVE PUPPETS
ARE WILL TO DOG THEM UP.

187
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,437
NOW, PLAY ALONG, AND I MIGHT
TOSS A COUPLE OF GEMS YOUR WAY

188
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:11,238
BEFORE I BLOW THIS DUMP.

189
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,140
OH, AND UH,
I THINK I'LL TAKE

190
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,643
THE BIG, CUTE ONE WITH ME
WHEN I GO.

191
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,077
OTIS, IS IT?

192
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:19,880
>> GRRR.

193
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:22,550
>> SHE SURE KNOWS HOW
TO KEEP THOSE MORONS HOPPING.

194
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:25,686
>> BESSY, I GOT TO FIND A WAY
TO BREAK HER SPELL OVER OTIS.

195
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:26,720
>> OTIS?

196
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,522
DON'T YOU MEAN ALL OF THEM?

197
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,023
>> OH, RIGHT,
ALL OF THEM.

198
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,492
[giggles nervously]

199
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,827
>> WELL, THE ONLY THING
THAT'LL MAKE THOSE DUMB-DUMBS

200
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,497
FORGET A PRETTY FACE
IS A PRETTIER FACE.

201
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:37,998
>> WHAT, ME?

202
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,768
OH, BESSY, I COULD NEVER LOOK
AS GLAMOROUS AS VERONICA.

203
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,035
>> SURE YOU COULD.

204
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:45,105
COME, LET'S GO DRESS YOU UP
LIKE A BIG GIRL.

205
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,475
>> AND NOW IT'S TIME
FOR MAKEOVER CORNER

206
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,210
WITH YOUR HOST, MR. PIG.

207
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,079
>> HELLO, I'M MR. PIG.

208
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,047
LOOKS LIKE ABBY'S OFF
TO GET A MAKEOVER.

209
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:56,383
HERE'S A FEW TIPS ON HOW
A MAKEOVER CAN HELP YOU,

210
00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:59,352
THE VIEWER, GO FROM FRUMPY
TO FABULOUS.

211
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:00,988
>> HELLO, I AM DUKE.

212
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,023
I AM A FASHION NIGHTMARE.

213
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,858
YO, PIG,
I DON'T WANT TO SAY THESE LINES.

214
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,294
>> SHH, MODELS GET DIZZY
IF THEY TALK.

215
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,030
LET'S MAKE SURE WE HAVE
OUR BASIC MAKEOVER TOOLS.

216
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,765
PANCAKE MAKEUP,
SOME FABRIC SHEARS,

217
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,200
AND THIS TASER.

218
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,168
>> OH, OH, OH, YOU DON'T MENTION
ANYTHING ABOUT A--

219
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,269
>> EH, NO TALKING.

220
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,639
[buzzing and groaning]

221
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:20,508
>> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

222
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:21,609
>> TRUST ME.
STOP MOVING.

223
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,577
[arguing and mechanical noises]

224
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,245
>> OH, YOU'RE A NATURAL.
>> THAT LOOKS NICE.

225
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,814
>> WORK WITH ME,
WORK WITH ME.

226
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:27,915
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT,

227
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,316
MAKEOVER MAGIC.

228
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,318
>> HEY, IT WORKED.
I'M BEAUTIFUL.

229
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,521
AND I'M BRIMMING
WITH SELF-CONFIDENCE.

230
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,256
>> NOW GO TAKE ON
THE WORLD, BABY.

231
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,991
NEXT WEEK, WE'LL FIND OUT
WHAT HAPPENS

232
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,827
WHEN YOU PUT LIPSTICK
ON A PIG.

233
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,129
UH, HEY,
I DON'T WANT TO WAIT.

234
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,897
MM, OH, OH, MM.

235
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,365
MM, RED.

236
00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:50,771
>> [whistles]

237
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,239
>> I LOVE YOU!
[all clamoring]

238
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,974
>> ANYTHING TO REPORT, BOYS?

239
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,308
>> NO DIAMONDS YET, VERONICA.

240
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:56,544
I BLAME PIG.

241
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,045
>> IT'S TRUE I HAVE
A GIMPY LUNG.

242
00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,547
>> WELL, BACK TO WORK
WITH YOU, THEN.

243
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,448
>> REALLY?
'CAUSE WE'RE KIND OF TIRED AND--

244
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:02,950
>> WHOEVER FINDS
THE FIRST DIAMOND

245
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,218
GETS PROLONGED EYE CONTACT.

246
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,353
>> [pants frantically]

247
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,088
>> YOU HEARD HER.
GET BACK TO WORK.

248
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:08,989
>> RIGHT.
>> HERE WE GO.

249
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,090
>> HOLD UP.

250
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,458
>> SO LONG, SUCKERS.

251
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:12,926
>> WEE!

252
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,563
>> THERE'S SOMEONE
I'D LIKE YOU ALL TO MEET.

253
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:18,866
[sultry saxophone music]

254
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,001
>> IS THAT ABBY?
>> SHE LOOKS DIFFERENT.

255
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:22,369
>> SHE LOOKS GORGEOUS.

256
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:26,439
>> WELL, HELLO, BOYS.

257
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,209
>> GAH-HA.
>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

258
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,144
>> BUTSA-ZA-HA.
>> GRRR.

259
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,947
>> AY-YAI-YAI.
>> A LADY.

260
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,584
>> ABBY, WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?

261
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,086
>> LOOKS LIKE WE'RE PLAYING
A GAME AFTER ALL, VERONICA.

262
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,822
WELL, I RECKON I'LL BEAT YOU
AT THIS ONE TOO.

263
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,223
AH, WHOA!

264
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,192
[sultry saxophone music]

265
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,227
>> GEE, ABBY,
YOU LOOK GREAT.

266
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:48,996
IT'S LIKE SEEING YOU
FOR THE FIRST TIME.

267
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,198
SUDDENLY, I'M EXPERIENCING
STRANGE NEW FEELINGS THAT--

268
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,900
DO YOU MIND?

269
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,401
>> SORRY.

270
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,904
>> WELL, IT'S SO NICE
OF YOU TO NOTICE.

271
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,271
BUT DON'T YOU HAVE
TO GO BACK TO WORK

272
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,240
IN VERONICA'S DIAMOND MINE?

273
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,942
>> VERONICA?
WHAT'S A VERONICA?

274
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,611
>> GET YOUR HANDS OFF
MY LOVE SLAVE.

275
00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,245
>> WHAT'S THE MATTER,
VERONICA?

276
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,413
JEALOUS?

277
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,815
>> LADY, YOU'VE STARTED
SOMETHING

278
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,249
YOU DON'T WANT TO FINISH.

279
00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:10,751
>> THUMPER BATS, HUH?

280
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,452
JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.

281
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,788
>> GIRLS, NO, YOU'LL DAMAGE
EACH OTHER'S BEAUTIFUL FACES.

282
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,456
OW, SOFT, CUSHIONY PAIN.

283
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:18,025
>> IT'S ON, GIRLFRIEND.

284
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,292
>> BRING IT.

285
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:20,628
[both grunting]

286
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,865
A-LA-LA-LA-LA-LLL!

287
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:25,899
thwap!

288
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,703
[grunting and yelling]

289
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,640
>> STOP FIGHTING.

290
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,707
>> OH.
>> UH-OH, NO.

291
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,914
[both panting]

292
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,249
>> I'VE GOT TO ADMIT,
VERONICA,

293
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,917
YOU'VE STILL GOT YOUR MOVES.

294
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,786
>> THANKS.
I DO PILATES.

295
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:48,656
[grunting and warbling]

296
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,926
[crashing]

297
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,527
>> VERONICA,
WHAT DID YOU DO?

298
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,329
FREDDY AND PECK
ARE STILL DOWN THERE.

299
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,497
[cell phone rings]

300
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:58,666
>> Y'ELLO.

301
00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,600
>> VERONICA, IT'S PECK.
HI.

302
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:00,668
>> VERONICA, IT'S PECK.
HI.
THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE FOUND YOU
A GIANT DIAMOND.

303
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,270
THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE FOUND YOU
A GIANT DIAMOND.

304
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,738
>> THE BAD NEWS IS,
WE'RE TRAPPED,

305
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,173
AND I MAY HAVE TO EAT PECK.

306
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,041
>> BUT, FREDDY, WE PACKED
A LUNCH BOX.

307
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,577
>> QUIET.
I KNOW THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT.

308
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,780
>> OH, NO.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?

309
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,214
>> YOU'VE DOOMED
TWO OF OUR FRIENDS.

310
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,415
YOU WERE RIGHT, ABBY.

311
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:16,984
YOUR FRIEND
IS NOTHING BUT A USER,

312
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,986
A GODDESS-LIKE,
PERFECT USER.

313
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,320
>> OH, PIPE DOWN.

314
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,723
>> OH, ABBY,
I FEEL TERRIBLE.

315
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,257
>> YOU SHOULD.
>> WELL, YOU--YES.

316
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,026
>> IT'S ABOUT TIME.
>> YEAH! I'LL STILL MARRY YOU.

317
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,460
>> WAIT A MINUTE.

318
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:29,596
COZ, REMEMBER WHEN WE USED
TO GO CAVE SPELUNKING?

319
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,598
>> YOU MEAN AT OLD MAN
SPINGARTEN'S PLACE?

320
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,701
>> YES.
MAYBE WE CAN SAVE YOUR FRIENDS.

321
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,103
COME ON.

322
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,404
>> KEEP HOLDING
THAT BEAM UP, OTIS.

323
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,806
WE'LL BE AS QUICK AS WE CAN.

324
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,507
>> ACTUALLY,
I DON'T THINK I CAN HOLD--

325
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,575
>> WISH US LUCK.
[smooching sound]

326
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,111
>> NO PROBLEM.
TAKE YOUR TIME.

327
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,480
>> THIS IS GONNA HURT ME MORE
THAN IT HURTS YOU.

328
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,649
>> YEAH, I DON'T SEE THAT.

329
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:51,484
>> I GOT 'EM, ABBY.
>> NO.

330
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,787
>> PULL.

331
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,455
>> OOOH!

332
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:58,125
[crash]

333
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,893
[coughing]

334
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,129
>> GIRLS, YOU SAVED FREDDY
AND PECK.

335
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,932
>> AND WE SAVED THIS GIANT
DIAMOND FOR YOU, VERONICA.

336
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,100
>> PECK, VERONICA DOESN'T CARE
ABOUT THAT.

337
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,902
SHE PUT ASIDE
HER PETTY, SELFISH WAYS

338
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,738
WHEN SHE RISKED HER LIFE
TO SAVE YOU.

339
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:11,972
>> GIVE ME THAT!

340
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,274
I RISKED MY LIFE
TO SAVE THIS GIANT DIAMOND.

341
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,743
AND NOW THAT I HAVE IT,

342
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,879
SO LONG, LOSERS.

343
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:21,014
>> WELL, I HOPE YOU BOYS
LEARNED YOUR LESSON.

344
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,483
>> YES, I'VE LEARNED
THAT BEAUTY IS ONLY SKIN DEEP.

345
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,286
YOU SEE, IT'S WHAT'S INSIDE
YOUR HEART THAT TRULY MATTERS.

346
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,088
THEREFORE, YOU MUST NEVER
JUDGE A PERSON

347
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:29,622
BY THEIR OUTWARD APPEARANCE.

348
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,091
>> WELL SAID, OTIS.

349
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,093
>> SO KNOW THAT I'M NOT JUDGING
YOU WHEN I ASK YOU

350
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,462
TO WEAR YOUR PRETTY GIRL OUTFIT
24 HOURS A DAY.

351
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,997
>> YOU ARE SO SHALLOW.

352
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,565
>> THANK YOU.
I LIKE TO THINK THAT I--

353
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:39,767
OW, OW, OW!

354
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:40,768
OW, HEY, OW!

355
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,836
OOH, AH, OOH, HEY, BAD--

356
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:46,039
>> AH, TO BE YOUNG
AND IN LOVE AND STUPID.

357
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:51,812
[dramatic instrumental music]

358
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:59,787
* *

359
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:03,590
>> HEY, EVERYBODY, HILLY BURFORD
HERE WITH LIVE BREAKING NEWS.

360
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:06,827
THE MYSTERIOUS APPEARANCE
OF A GINORMOUS CHEESE CURD

361
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:09,096
IS BLOWING EVERYBODY'S MIND.

362
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:12,399
I MEAN, THAT IS ONE
HUMONGOUS CURD.

363
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,667
>> CONGRATULATIONS, OTIS.

364
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,369
>> YEAH, YOUR CHEESE CURD
IS FAMOUS.

365
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:17,871
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT
HILLY BURFORD

366
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,272
TO COVER YOUR STORY.

367
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,841
>> I KNOW.
THE GUY'S A LEGEND.

368
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,876
BUT THAT CAMERA ANGLE
ON THE CURD IS ALL WRONG.

369
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,277
I'M GONNA MOVE IT.

370
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:27,180
>> CHEESE-CURD-OLIGISTS SAY
SAY A CURD LIKE THIS ONE

371
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:30,350
ONLY COMES ALONG
EVERY 5,000 YEARS.

372
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,385
BUT HOW DID IT GET HERE?

373
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,921
IT'S A MYSTERY
WRAPPED IN AN ENIGMA...

374
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,188
>> OH, THAT'S NOT GOOD.

375
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,623
>> COVERED IN CHEESE
AND SLATHERED IN--

376
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:37,624
[gasps]

377
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:40,027
AAAH!

378
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,097
splat!

379
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,565
THIS JUST IN:

380
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,634
MY BONES ARE CRUSHED.

381
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,302
>> HILLY, I'M SORRY.

382
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:50,637
I DIDN'T MEAN
FOR YOU TO GET HURT.

383
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,572
I JUST WANTED PEOPLE
TO KNOW ABOUT THE CURD.

384
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,007
>> ARE YOU A NEWSMAN TOO?

385
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,342
>> SURE, LET'S GO WITH THAT.

386
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,644
>> YOU GOT TO COVER
THE STORY, KID.

387
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,513
DON'T LET MY BONE-CRUSHING
INJURY HAVE BEEN IN VAIN.

388
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,316
DON'T LET--
[groaning and cracking]

389
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:06,119
[sirens wailing]

390
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,420
>> WELL, THIS IS GREAT.

391
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,889
UNLESS WE CAN FIND
ANOTHER REPORTER

392
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:09,923
IN THE NEXT SIX SECONDS,

393
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,258
THIS STORY'S DEAD.

394
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,593
>> DID SOMEBODY SAY
"REPORTER"?

395
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,728
>> I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE,
BUT YOU HAVE GOT THE JOB.

396
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:18,498
WE ARE LIVE
IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE.

397
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,500
>> ACTION REPORT GILL O'MALLEY
HERE LIVE AT THE SCENE

398
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,202
OF A DEVASTATING TRAGEDY.

399
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,004
MOMENTS AGO,
BELOVED ICON HILLY BURFORD

400
00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:26,106
WAS HORRIBLY INJURED
BY THIS GIANT CHEESE CURD,

401
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,275
WHICH, I MIGHT ADD, IS THE MOST
AWESOME CHEESE PRODUCT

402
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,742
I HAVE EVER SEEN.

403
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:31,444
I'M HERE WITH AN EYEWITNESS
TO THE INCIDENT,

404
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:32,579
THIS TINY MAN.

405
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:33,680
WHAT DID YOU SEE, TINY?

406
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:34,714
>> IT WAS AWFUL.

407
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:36,616
HE WAS ALL LIKE,
"LA-LA-LA-LA-LA."

408
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,085
AND THEN THE CURD WAS LIKE,
"GRRR."

409
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,386
THEN HE WAS LIKE
"AY, MAMI,

410
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,454
GET THIS CHEESE OFF OF ME."
CRACK.

411
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:42,522
AND THAT'S A BONE CRACKING.

412
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:43,756
>> WELL ACTED, TINY.

413
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,292
FOR MORE
ON THIS DEVELOPING STORY,

414
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,693
LET'S TURN
TO NOTED CHEESEOLOGIST

415
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:47,895
DR. SNOUT MCHUGEBUTT.

416
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,329
HIS NAME IS WHAT HE HAS.

417
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:50,563
WHAT HAPPENED HERE, DOCTOR?

418
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:51,899
>> WELL, IT'S HARD TO SAY.

419
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,800
I'LL HAVE TO TASTE IT
TO BE SURE.

420
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,068
[grunting]

421
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,904
MM-HM, MM-HM.

422
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,305
I HAVE NO IDEA.

423
00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,572
THERE YOU HAVE IT,
A CLASSIC STORY

424
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,141
OF MAN VERSUS CURD.

425
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,043
IF YOU SEE ONE OF THESE
NOBLE CREATURES IN THE WILD,

426
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,445
DO NOT STARTLE IT, OR YOU MAY
BECOME THE NEXT VICTIM OF

427
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,381
THE MAGNIFICENT, RECORD-BREAKING
CHEESE CURD OF DOOM!

428
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,583
THIS HAS BEEN GILL O'MALLEY
REPORTING FOR GILL O'MALLEY

429
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:12,119
SAYING, "I'M GILL O'MALLEY."

430
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,720
>> CUT, CUT, CUT!

431
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:16,957
SIR, THAT WAS THE MOST
INAPPROPRIATE, OVER THE TOP,

432
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:19,159
SCAREMONGERING REPORT
I HAVE EVER SEEN.

433
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,961
>> SO YOU LIKED IT?
>> I LOVED IT.

434
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,629
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO ANCHOR THE EVENING NEWS

435
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:23,730
WHILE HILLY'S OUT?

436
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,465
WHAT?
HILLY'S A NEWS GOD.

437
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,300
I COULDN'T POSSIBLY FILL IN
FOR HIM.

438
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,936
>> THEN WE'LL HAVE
TO CANCEL HIS SHOW.

439
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,003
>> I'LL DO IT.

440
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,338
CAN I BRING MY OWN
CRACK NEWS TEAM?

441
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,839
>> ARE THEY LOUD, HARD-HITTING,
AND IN YOUR FACE?

442
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:36,043
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THEY'RE ANIMALS!

443
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:39,079
>> ACTION TEAM NEWS
WITH GILL O'MALLEY,

444
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:40,580
MELANIE HAYSEED,

445
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:42,950
WEATHERMAN SONNY CAKEBAKER,

446
00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:44,384
AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE.

447
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,719
AND NOW HERE'S GILL O'MALLEY.

448
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,355
>> HELLO, EVERYBODY,
I'M GILL O'MALLEY,

449
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,690
AND HERE'S TONIGHT'S NEWS
IN YOUR FACE.

450
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,993
TONIGHT'S TOP STORY:
CROP OF SHAME.

451
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:55,362
LOCAL FARMER CLEM BITTLEBOMB
BROUGHT HIS ENTIRE CROP

452
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,164
OF ARUGULA TO THE MARKET TODAY
ONLY TO FIND OUT

453
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,798
THAT NO ONE LIKES ARUGULA!

454
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,633
TURNS OUT, IT'S BITTER
AND POKES YOUR MOUTH.

455
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,269
WE'LL HAVE MORE
ON THIS FAST-BREAKING STORY

456
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,470
&AS I MAKE IT UP.

457
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,072
>> MELANIE?
>> THANKS, GILL.

458
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,506
FOLKS, AUTHORITIES
ARE ON THE LOOKOUT

459
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,341
FOR A SUSPECTED COW TIPPER.

460
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,677
IF SPOTTED,
APPROACH WITH EXTREME CAUTION.

461
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,013
THEN WHEN HE'S NOT LOOKING,
TAKE HIM DOWN

462
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,347
WITH A FLYING HAMMER LOCK.

463
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,116
THEN GIVE HIM A BOMBAY MONKEY.

464
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:17,384
>> OOH, OW.

465
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,819
>> THEN A SPINNING SCISSOR KICK
LIKE THIS.

466
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:20,820
HIYA!

467
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,289
[crash]

468
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,823
>> AND NOW LET'S GO
TO SONNY CAKEBAKER

469
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,058
AT THE WEATHER DESK.

470
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,359
>> HI, FOLKS.

471
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,095
I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO WORK THE BIG WEATHER MAP,

472
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,230
SO I'M GONNA DO
THE FIVE DAY FORECAST

473
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:31,498
ON MY BELLY.

474
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:32,799
TEMPERATURES WILL DROP

475
00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:35,302
AS A COLD FRONT COMES DOWN
FROM MY ARMPIT--

476
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,004
[giggles]

477
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,371
WHOO, THAT TICKLES.

478
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,040
AND THEN IT HITS
A HIGH PRESSURE SYSTEM

479
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,708
JUST ABOVE MY BELLY BUTTON

480
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,676
AND SHAKES MY LOVE HANDLES
AROUND LIKE THIS--

481
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,012
BOOM-BA-BOOM-BA-BOOM--

482
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,613
>> GILL O'MALLEY AGAIN
REPORTING LIVE

483
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:49,516
AS WEATHERMAN SONNY CAKEBAKER
DISGUSTS THE VIEWING AUDIENCE.

484
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:50,583
[gurgling]

485
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,052
>> UH-OH,
I SENSE A WIND ADVISORY

486
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,586
MOVING DOWN FROM THE SOUTH.

487
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:54,787
>> REPULSIVE, YET INFORMATIVE.

488
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:55,755
BACK TO YOU, MELANIE.

489
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,090
>> NOW IT'S TIME

490
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,026
FOR EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE
ENTERTAINMENT REPORTER,

491
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,327
JACK SAUCY.

492
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,529
>> I'M JACK SAUCY
WITH THIS SAUCY REPORT.

493
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,031
>> WHO'S BEEN SPOTTED
AROUND TOWN

494
00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:06,099
WITH POP SENSATION
JESSICA ALLSPICE?

495
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,868
MY SAUCY SOURCES SAY IT'S
EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE FUZZ BALL,

496
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,103
BIG FOOT.

497
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,573
>> [growls]

498
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,676
>> BIGFOOT LATER APOLOGIZED,

499
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,545
CITING STRESS AND THE FACT
THAT HE'S AN APE MAN.

500
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,080
AND THAT'S YOUR SAUCY REPORT.

501
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,714
BACK TO YOU, GILL.

502
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,620
>> THIS JUST IN: INVESTIGATIVE
NEWSMAN GILL O'MALLEY

503
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,956
WILL NOW CHECK ON OUR ROVING
REPORTERS IN THE FIELD.

504
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,858
LET'S GO LIVE.
LIVE, I SAY!

505
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:32,892
>> THANKS, GILL.

506
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,061
WE'RE COMING TO YOU

507
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,562
FROM AN ACTUAL FIELD
WITH OUR REPORT.

508
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:37,764
>> IT MAY SEEM QUIET AND STILL
IN THIS FIELD,

509
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,932
AND THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS.

510
00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:42,102
>> YES, UH, NOTHING MUCH
HAPPENING, REALLY,

511
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,537
BUT WHEN IT DOES,
YOU CAN BET THAT WE'LL--

512
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,705
thump!

513
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,874
>> OW.
>> BACK TO YOU, GILL.

514
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,976
>> WE'LL HAVE MORE ON THAT STORY
AS THEIR BONES KNIT.

515
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:52,279
AND NOW THE ANGRY MINUTE
WITH BESSY.

516
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,846
>> THANKS, MORON.

517
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:56,783
YOU EVER WATCH TV THAT'S SO BAD
IT MAKES YOUR EARS BLEED?

518
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,152
MAYBE YOU'RE HAVING ONE
OF THOSE MOMENTS RIGHT NOW.

519
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,088
FACE IT, THIS SHOW STINKS.

520
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,922
>> GILL O'MALLEY HERE
WITH POINT-COUNTERPOINT.

521
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,157
THIS SHOW DOES NOT STINK.

522
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,392
>> DOES SO.
>> DOES NOT.

523
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,826
>> DOES SO.
>> YOU SMELL.

524
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,328
>> NO, YOU SMELL.
>> I DO A LITTLE BIT.

525
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:09,562
BACK TO YOU, MELANIE.

526
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:10,997
>> WELL, THAT'S ALL
THE TIME WE HAVE.

527
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,565
I'M MELANIE HAYSEED.

528
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,167
>> AND I'M,
AS PREVIOUSLY STATED,

529
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,169
GILL "OH, WHY ARE YOU
SO HUGGABLE" MALLEY.

530
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,138
both: STAY SASSY, FARMLAND.

531
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,472
>> HEY, I WAS SUPPOSED
TO SAY THAT.

532
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,973
>> NO, THAT WAS MY LINE.
>> I MADE IT UP.

533
00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:22,109
>> NO, I MADE IT UP.

534
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,443
>> WHY DON'T YOU
GO PUNCH SOMETHING?

535
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,178
>> AND WE'RE OUT.

536
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,346
>> WE ROCK.
>> WHAT A BLAST.

537
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:27,514
>> WEIRD SHOW, EVERYONE.

538
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:28,681
AND THE BEST PART OF IT IS,

539
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,183
WE SAVED HILLY'S JOB.

540
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,318
>> CONGRATULATIONS.

541
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,752
THE PHONES
ARE RINGING OFF THE HOOK.

542
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,221
YOU'RE A SMASH HIT.

543
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,322
HOLD ON.
GOT TO TAKE THIS.

544
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,523
Y'ELLO.

545
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:37,724
>> HEY, DON,
BREAKING NEWS.

546
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,259
>> UH-HUH, UH-HUH.

547
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:41,628
>> THE DOCTORS SAY MY BRAIN
IS HEALING LIKE GANGBUSTERS.

548
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,796
I COULD BE BACK
AT WORK TOMORROW.

549
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,965
>> YEAH, SORRY, HILLY,
THERE'S A NEW NEWS TEAM IN TOWN.

550
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:47,734
YOU'RE THROUGH.
>> BUT WHAT--HEY--WHY?

551
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,369
>> HILLY, WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS
FOR YEARS, BUT IT'S OVER.

552
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,503
HANG UP THE PHONE.

553
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,704
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO DO THE NEWS

554
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,273
ON A PERMANENT BASIS?

555
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:56,143
>> PERMANENT? HA!
BASIS? HA!

556
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,244
>> TEMPORARILY, OF COURSE.

557
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:58,311
>> WELL, WE CAN'T DO THAT.

558
00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,612
I MEAN, HILLY'S A NEWS LEGEND.

559
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,248
>> I STILL AM A NEWS--

560
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,815
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE,
WHY AM I ON THE PHONE?

561
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,584
>> HANG UP THE PHONE.
>> HILLY, GET OFF THE PHONE.

562
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:05,652
HANG IT UP, HILLY.

563
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:06,953
LOOK, IF YOU WON'T TAKE
THE GIG,

564
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,555
THERE'S PLENTY
OF WACKY NEWSMEN WHO WILL.

565
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:11,724
>> THIS JUST IN,
I HAVE POOPY PANTS.

566
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,860
>> ALL RIGHT, WE'LL DO IT.

567
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,928
>> GREAT, NOW GO GET ME
A STORY.

568
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:18,265
>> OTIS, WE CAN'T STEAL
HILLY'S JOB.

569
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,167
>> YEAH, THAT'S NOT COOL, MAN.
>> SHE'S GOT A POINT.

570
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:21,768
WE'RE NOT STEALING HIS JOB.

571
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,803
I HAVE A PLAN THAT'LL MAKE
HILLY MORE POPULAR THAN EVER.

572
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,004
TO THE NEWS VAN!

573
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:28,040
[dramatic musical fanfare]

574
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:29,176
* *

575
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:31,644
>> [scatting wildly]

576
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,417
SKITTLE-A-BIG-BAG-A-BOODILY-DO.

577
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,720
HEY, A SHINY BUTTON.

578
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,089
THANKS, LADY.

579
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:46,293
>> LOOK, THERE HE IS.

580
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,395
>> POOR, HILLY,
DANCING FOR TOURISTS' NICKELS

581
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,197
NEXT TO THE TOWN DAM.

582
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,199
>> WELL, THAT IS JUST
THE WORST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.

583
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,766
ONE DAY, YOU'RE ON TOP
OF THE NEWS WORLD.

584
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,735
THE NEXT DAY, YOU'RE HOPPING
AROUND FOR NICKELS.

585
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,605
>> BELIEVE ME, THERE ARE WORSE
THINGS YOU CAN DO FOR NICKELS.

586
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,708
[dramatic opera music]

587
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:07,614
* *

588
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,517
[sobbing]

589
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,851
>> FOCUS, PEOPLE.

590
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:13,953
IT'S TIME TO PUT
OPERATION "MAKE HILLY A HERO"

591
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,356
INTO ACTION.

592
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,958
>> [scatting wildly]

593
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:23,863
>> READY ON CAMERA, PIG?

594
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,232
>> YOU BET.
>> GOOD.

595
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,600
OKAY, ABBY,
LET'S MAKE SOME NEWS.

596
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,937
>> * JUST AN AVERAGE LADY
WALKING WITH A BIG PURSE *

597
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,239
* LA-LA-LA-LA-LA *

598
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,440
[motor revs]

599
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,607
[scooter skids]

600
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,875
>> GIVE ME THAT PURSE.

601
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,245
>> OH, PURSE SNATCHER.
HELP, HELP!

602
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,312
>> PURSE SNATCHER?

603
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,480
I'LL SAVE YOU, LADY.

604
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:42,282
HOO-HA, HOO-HA.

605
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,984
HEY, MY PANTS FELL DOWN.
ISN'T THAT WILD?

606
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:47,254
>> HE MUST HAVE TONED HIS BODY
WITH ALL THAT DANCING.

607
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,122
>> HEY, ANYBODY GOT A BELT,
MAYBE SOME ROPE?

608
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,758
>> STILL NEED HELP OVER HERE.

609
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,893
ANYBODY, PLEASE.
WON'T SOMEBODY--

610
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:54,994
OH, FORGET IT.

611
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,263
>> WHOA.

612
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,531
AAAH!

613
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,667
[crash]

614
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,669
[rumbling and cracking]

615
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,439
[water hisses]

616
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:11,244
>> OTIS, THE DAM'S
ABOUT TO BURST.

617
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,313
>> WE NEED TO GO IN THE AIR
AND WARN THE TOWN.

618
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,847
>> YES, WE COULD GO ON,

619
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:17,149
OR WE COULD HAVE
A REAL NEWSMAN DO IT.

620
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,051
>> ANYBODY KNOW A GOOD TAILOR?

621
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:20,587
>> HILLY, THE DAM'S GONNA BURST.

622
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,021
YOU NEED TO TELL THE PEOPLE.

623
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:23,323
>> THE DAM?

624
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,525
I CAN'T DO IT, YOUNG FELLA.

625
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,827
I'VE BEEN OUT OF THE GAME
TOO LONG.

626
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,429
>> LISTEN TO ME, HILLY.
>> I CAN'T DO IT.

627
00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:30,697
>> LISTEN TO ME.
>> OKAY.

628
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,465
>> YOU STILL GOT THE STUFF.
>> THE STUFF.

629
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,634
>> YOU'RE NOT SOME PANTSLESS,
NICKEL-DANCING LOSER.

630
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,736
>> NOT SO-SICKEL-DANCING LOSER,
NO.

631
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,170
>> THE TUFTED COIF,
THE GLASSY EYES,

632
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,472
THE LEATHERY SKIN.

633
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,140
>> THAT'S ME.
>> YOU'RE A NEWSMAN.

634
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:42,309
>> YES.

635
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:45,144
GIVE ME THAT MIC.
LET'S LIGHT THIS CANDLE.

636
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:47,847
MAKEUP GIRL, PANCAKE ME.

637
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,882
PIG GUY,
POINT THAT CAMERA AT ME.

638
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:53,219
WE'RE LIVE IN FIVE, FIVE,
NINE, SEVEN.

639
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:55,822
GOOD EVENING;
HILLY BURFORD LIVE ON THE SCENE

640
00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:58,124
WITH MINUTE ONE
OF PANDEMONIUM.

641
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:01,027
THE TOWN DAM,
ONCE CONSIDERED UN-BURSTABLE,

642
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,563
IS APPARENTLY
EXTREMELY BURSTABLE,

643
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,333
PLACING US ALL
IN TERRIBLE DANGER.

644
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:07,567
>> OTIS, WE BETTER GET OUT
OF HERE.

645
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,502
>> NO, KEEP SHOOTING.

646
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:12,939
>> SWEET TUBE SOCKS,
THIS THING'S GONNA BLOW.

647
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:15,742
FORTUNATELY, A GOOD REPORTER
ALWAYS CARRIES

648
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:19,145
AN ECONOMY SIZE TUBE
OF DAM SEALANT.

649
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:20,780
WHOO-HOO-HI.

650
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,352
COME ON, NOW,
DON'T BURST ON ME.

651
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,487
LET DADDY FIX YOUR BOO-BOO.

652
00:21:27,554 --> 00:21:29,689
WHOA.

653
00:21:29,756 --> 00:21:32,492
HEY, CHECK ME OUT.
I'M LIKE THAT SPIDER PERSON.

654
00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:33,893
HERE YOU GO, DAM.

655
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:37,129
OH, YEAH.

656
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:39,065
THIS BABY IS SEALED.

657
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,367
[cheers and applause]

658
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,034
>> WE'RE SAVED.
>> THREE CHEERS FOR HILLY.

659
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:44,804
AND NOW FOR TONIGHT'S
WINNING LOTTERY NUMBERS.

660
00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:46,373
17,

661
00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:47,807
18,

662
00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:49,275
19,

663
00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:50,910
20,

664
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:53,780
TWENTY--HEY, WOW, THESE
ARE RIGHT IN A ROW, AREN'T THEY?

665
00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:57,216
>> NOW, THAT'S A NEWSMAN.

666
00:21:57,283 --> 00:21:58,385
YOU'RE ALL FIRED.

667
00:21:58,385 --> 00:21:59,386
>> WORKS FOR US.

668
00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:01,020
>> HILLY, HILLY,
IT'S DON.

669
00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:02,389
>> OH, HEY, DON.

670
00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:04,156
>> HOW'D YOU LIKE
YOUR OLD JOB BACK?

671
00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:05,124
>> YOU MEAN IT?

672
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:07,427
SIBBITY-TA-TA, HIGH FIVE.

673
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:09,796
AAAH!

674
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,401
BUT THE MAYOR HAD NO COMMENT.

675
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:16,536
ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
OF THE NEWS...

676
00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:18,438
>> IT SURE IS NICE
TO HAVE HILLY BACK.

677
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,139
>> IT JUST AIN'T THE NEWS
WITHOUT HIM.

678
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:21,574
>> HEY, WIDE LOAD,

679
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:24,276
CAN WE PLEASE GET THIS STUPID
CHEESE CURD OUT OF HERE?

680
00:22:24,411 --> 00:22:26,278
>> OH, OKAY, I GOT IT.

681
00:22:26,413 --> 00:22:28,415
[both grunting]

682
00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:29,816
WELL, THAT SHOULD DO IT.

683
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:31,951
COME ON, GUYS.
LET'S GO HOME.

684
00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:36,523
>> AN ADORABLE PUPPY SAVED
BY THE POWER OF LOVE.

685
00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:38,057
[rumbling]

686
00:22:38,124 --> 00:22:40,092
HEY, WHAT'S THAT RUMBLING?

687
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:42,895
THIS IS NOT GOOD.

688
00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:44,063
crash!

689
00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:45,998
AAAH!

690
00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:48,000
WOW.

691
00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:53,339
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