- I'M JUST HEADING TO THE FIELDS, DUKE.
I'LL BE BACK.
[sheep bleating]
- CLEAR!
[upbeat hoedown music]
- ALL RIGHT!
* *
- RAT-A-BAMBA!
- * FROM THE HAYSTACKS UP TO THE HILLTOPS *
* WE GO ON DANCING *
* TO HELP US DO THE MILKING THROUGH THE NIGHT *
- OW, OW! OKAY, OW.
OW!
- * DO SI DO YOUR PARTNER NOW *
* *
* GONNA PARTY ON TILL THE MORNING LIGHT *
* *
* DO SI DO AND DON'T YOU KNOW *
* IT'S JUST THE WAY WE ANIMALS ROLL *
[motor roaring]
- HA HA!
- [with Cajun accent] MMM, MMM.
DON'T THAT SMELL GOOD, YEAH?
THAT'S CHEF BIG BONES' DEEP-FRIED CHICK-OWN.
[applause]
NOW SHAKE A LITTLE
OF CHEF BIG BONES' FIVE-ALARM CAJUN SPICE RIGHT ON THERE,
AND POP THAT DELICIOUS CHICK-OWN RIGHT IN YOUR FACE HOLE.
MMM, THAT'S GOOD CHICK-OWN, I GUARANTEE.
- HEY, FREDDY. - [screams]
I WAS SLEEPWALKING.
I'M NOT WATCHING A MEAT-GRILLING SHOW.
THAT WOULD BE DISGUSTING
AND ENTIRELY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR ME.
- YEAH, IT SURE WOULD.
HEY, WE'RE PLAYING KICKBALL.
YOU SHOULD COME BY.
- OKAY, SURE.
AGAIN, NOT A MEAT SHOW.
- AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR TO REVEAL THE WINNER
OF CHEF BIG BONES' FAN RECIPE COMPETISH-OWN.
AND THE WINNER IS...
- PIG, LAST CHANCE TO PLAY KICKBALL!
- DO I HAVE TO GET UP?
- YES, GENERALLY YOU HAVE TO STAND TO DO THINGS.
- AH, THEN I'LL PASS.
- BRING IT, LADY COW.
THEY DON'T CALL ME "GRAND LORD
IMPERIAL BALL-KICKING EMPEROR WIZARD" FOR NOTHING.
- DUDE, NOBODY CALLS YOU THAT.
- I KNOW. WHY IS THAT?
- HERE IT COMES.
- [Freddy screaming]
I WON! I WON!
I WON! I W--
I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON!
AHH!
- NICE SHOT. - IT NEEDED TO BE DONE.
- SO, FREDDY, WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?
- I WON CHEF BIG BONES MIGNON'S FAN RECIPE CONTEST.
- OH, CHEF BIG BONES.
HE'S THE ONE WHO SAYS, "THAT'S ONE GOOD CHICK-OWN RIGHT THERE."
- YEAH, HE SAYS, "POP THAT CHICK-OWN
RIGHT IN YOUR FACE HOLE."
- AND THEN HE GOES, "WASH THAT CHICK-OWN DOWN
WITH SOME CHICK-OWN GREASE, I GUARANTEE."
- "AND PUT THAT SPICY FIVE-ALARM POWDER ON THAT CHICK-OWN."
- YEAH! - THAT'S THE GUY.
- HE REALLY LIKES CHICK-OWN.
- UH, GUYS? ARE YOU AWARE THAT "CHICK-OWN" MEANS "CHICKEN"?
- WHAT? - IT DOES? - THAT'S DISGUSTING.
- FREDDY, HOW COULD YOU SUBMIT A RECIPE
TO AN ANIMAL-ROASTING SHOW?
- NO, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
MY RECIPE USES A SOY-BASED ROOSTER SUBSTITUTE
CALLED TOFROOSTER.
male announcer: TOFROOSTER.
- OH, WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
- WELL, NOW, THAT'S DIFFERENT.
- ANYWAY, HE'S COOKING MY RECIPE TOMORROW NIGHT ON LIVE TV,
AND I WANT YOU ALL TO BE IN THE AUDIENCE.
- WE'LL BE THERE. - WOULDN'T MISS IT.
- WHO KNOWS?
MAYBE IF THIS GOES WELL,
I COULD EVEN GET MY OWN COOKING SHOW.
- WHAT WOULD THAT BE LIKE?
- LET'S SEE HOW OUR SEAFOOD BISQUE TURNED OUT.
- [high-pitched scream]
- DON'T THINK SO. - YEAH, MAYBE NOT. - FORGET I MENTIONED IT.
[upbeat instrumental music]
[spitting]
- YOU CALL THIS FRESH OWN-YOWN?
I CALL IT AN ABOMINASH-OWN.
WE GO ON THE AIR IN ONE HOUR, AND I NEED A FRESH OWN-YOWN.
thud!
- CHEF BIG BONES, SIR?
I'M FREDDY NOT-A-FERRET.
- OH, THERE HE IS, THE WINNER OF MY COMPETISH-OWN.
YOUR RECIPE, SHE A THING OF BEAUTY--
THAT GARLIC, THAT OWN-YOWN.
I JUST GOT TO MAKE ONE MODIFICASH-YOWN.
- MODIFICASHEE-OWN?
- MODIFICASH-YOWN.
- SHEE-ON. - SHYON!
- THAT'S RIGHT.
I GOT TO USE A REAL ROOSTER.
- WHAT? BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TOFROOSTER?
- YEAH, THAT TASTES LIKE HOT GARBAGE.
AIN'T NOBODY EATING THAT.
- WELL, I WON'T ALLOW IT.
ROOSTERS ARE KIND, LOYAL ANIMALS WHO MAKE WONDERFUL ROOMMATES...
[horn honks]
PROBABLY.
- FINE. YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
THERE THE FAKE KITCHEN DOOR.
- FINE. I'M LEAVING.
I BID YOU GOOD DAY, SIR.
- GOOD DAY TO YOU, THEN.
- GOOD DAY TO YOU. - GOOD DAY TO YOU.
- YOU SURE YOU WON'T RECONSIDER?
- SO HOW'D IT GO?
- TERRIBLE.
BIG BONES IS PLANNING ON USING A REAL ROOSTER IN MY RECIPE.
- WHAT? - THAT'S TERRIBLE.
- I TOLD HIM I WANT NO PART OF THIS DELICIOUS TRAVESTY.
I'M OUTTA HERE!
- RIGHT. - ME TOO. - LET'S ROLL. - RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
- GUYS, WAIT A MINUTE. WE CAN'T GO.
THERE'S A POOR, DEFENSELESS ROOSTER SOMEWHERE BACKSTAGE
WHO NEEDS OUR HELP.
- PECK'S RIGHT; THIS SITUATION DEMANDS ACTION.
LET'S GO WRITE A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER!
- SHOULDN'T WE JUST GO FIND THE ROOSTER AND BUST HIM OUT?
- ALSO A GOOD PLAN.
REMIND ME TO WRITE YOU A THANK-YOU LETTER.
- OR YOU COULD JUST THANK HIM RIGHT NOW.
- GUYS, WHY DO YOU HATE LETTERS?
STAY SHARP, GUYS.
WE HAVE TO FIND THAT ROOSTER,
NO MATTER HOW CUNNINGLY HIDDEN, HOW DEVIOUSLY CONCEALED, HOW--
- FOUND HIM! - [rooster squawks]
- DON'T BE FRIGHTENED; WE'RE HERE TO SAVE YOU.
- SAVE ME?
YOU MEAN THESE ARE NOT THE AUDITIONS FOR THE SEATTLE OPERA?
- NO, IT'S A COOKING SHOW.
YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE DEEP FRIED AND EATEN ON LIVE TV.
- [gasps] FORZA DEL DESTINO!
- COME ON; LET'S GET YOU OUT OF HERE.
- * OOM BABA OOTEE OOMP OOMP-- *
HEY! WHAT Y'ALL DOIN' TO MY ROOSTER?
- LATER.
- UH, WHY, CHEF BIG BONES.
THIS IS SO...
LEAVE NOW!
- LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
- YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET AWAY, HUH, ROOSTER?
YOU GOT A DATE WITH A DEEP FRY, I GUARANTEE.
- gulp!
[all panting]
- WHEW, THAT WAS CLOSE.
- WAIT A MINUTE. WHERE'S PECK?
- THERE HE IS!
- OH, NO, THEY'VE GOT PECK!
- WE GOT TO BUST HIM OUT BEFORE THEY COOK HIM!
- WE CAN'T; THAT GUARD'S PUTTING HIM UNDER LOCKDOWN.
OUR ONLY CHANCE IS TO GRAB HIM
WHEN BIG BONES BRINGS HIM OUT ON STAGE.
AND PIG IS GOING TO HELP US DO IT.
- WILL THERE BE MOVEMENT INVOLVED?
- YES, REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT STANDING AND DOING THINGS?
- ALL RIGHT.
[cheers and applause]
- IT'S TIME FOR CHILLIN' AND GRILLIN' WITH YOUR HOST,
CHEF BIG BONES MIGNON!
- READY TO BE LOVIN' SOME CHICK-OWN!
[cheers and applause]
GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
WELL, TONIGHT CHEF BIG BONES IS GOING TO BE LOVIN'
THE DEEP-FRIED ROOSTER.
[applause]
- THE SHOW'S STARTING.
- I DON'T KNOW, OTIS.
YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS GOING TO WORK?
- OF COURSE IT'LL WORK.
YOU JUST GO OUT THERE
AND CHALLENGE BIG BONES TO A CHEF-OFF,
AND WHEN HE BRINGS OUT PECK, YOU BE RIGHT THERE TO GRAB HIM.
- ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.
I'LL DO IT FOR PECK.
OH, OW, MY FOOT!
OH, MY HEAD!
[glass shatters]
[belches]
together: PIG!
- SWEET CUD, HE'S OUT COLD.
- NOW WHO'S GOING TO GRAB PECK?
- WELL, I GOT HIM INTO THIS,
SO OTIS IS JUST GOING TO HAVE TO GET HIM OUT.
- THAT'S VERY BRAVE OF YOU, OTIS.
YOUR SACRIFICE WILL NOT BE-- OH, WAIT, I'M OTIS.
- [Big Bones humming]
NOW LET US CUT UP SOME THAT YELLOW PEPPER.
OH, THAT'S ONE THE PRETTIEST VEG PEPPERS.
I TELL Y'ALL WHAT;
IF THAT YELLOW PEPPER WAS A WOMAN, I WOULD MARRY HER,
AND THEN WE WOULD HAVE BEAUTIFUL YELLOW PEPPER CHILDREN.
[door thuds]
- [with Italian accent] STOP-A!
- SO WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS DISRUPSHEE-YOWN?
- I'MA THE WORLD-FAMOUS CHEF LUIGI CAPPELLINI,
AND I CHALLENGE-A YOU TO A CHEF-OFF-A!
[audience gasps]
THAT'S-A RIGHT-A.
NO CHEF CAN REFUSE THE CHALLENGE ON LIVE TV.
SO I CHALLENGE YOU...LIVE! ON TV!
[audience chanting] CHEF-OFF! CHEF-OFF!
- WELL, I'VE GOT TO PROTECT MY REPUTASHEE-YOWN.
ALL RIGHT, WE GONNA HAVE US AN OLD-FASHIONED CHEF-OFF.
[cheers and applause]
- BENE!
NOW BRING OUT THE ROOSTER YOU MUST HAVE HIDDEN BACKSTAGE
SO THAT WE CAN COOK HIM, EH?
- NOW, HOLD ON.
EVERYBODY KNOW A CHEF-OFF HAS THREE ROUNDS:
SALAD, ICE SCULPTURE, THEN THE ENTREE.
- I'MA KNOW THAT. I'MA KNOW THAT.
ALL-A THESE-A THINGS YOU SAY WITH YOUR MOUTH, I ALREADY KNOW.
- THEN LET THE CHEF-OFF BEGIN!
[crowd cheering wildly]
- GOOD FOOD!
- ROUND ONE, SALADS!
[fast-paced music]
* *
audience: WOW!
- BEAT THAT, CHEF LUIGI.
- HA! YOUR SALAD, IT'SA MAKING ME LAUGH.
HA, HA HA!
THAT'S ME LAUGH AT YOUR SALAD.
CHECK THIS OUT.
CHOP-CHOP-CHOP-CHOP-CHOP-CHOP- CHOP-CHOP!
[audience complaining]
HA!
[all booing]
- WOW, OTIS IS NOT GOOD.
- DOESN'T MATTER.
HE JUST HAS TO GRAB PECK WHEN BIG BONES BRINGS HIM OUT.
- HEY, GUYS, AM I TOO LATE TO HELP?
- ROUND TWO, ICE SCULPTURE!
[fast-paced music]
* *
VOILA!
[glorious music]
[cheers and applause]
- ICE IS COLD!
[saw buzzing]
- * O SOLE MIO *
* BA LA LA-LA LA *
* I DON'T KNOW THE WORDS *
* SO I'M GONNA SING THESE WORDS *
I'MA MAKING THE ICE CUBE.
- THAT STINKS!
[audience booing]
- HEY, LET'SA GET TO THE ENTREE.
- WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT WITH ME, CHEF.
TIME FOR BIG BONES TO DEEP FRY HIM SOME ROOSTER.
- [screams]
- [gasps] - [gasps]
- MMM. I MEAN-- [gasps]
- NO! STOP-A!
- YOU BETTER GET AWAY FROM MY ROOSTER.
YOU GET AWAY! - THAT'S MY LEVER.
[both arguing]
- EN GARDE!
- HA!
AND A HA. AND A HA.
[dramatic music]
* *
- [high-pitched scream]
[sizzling]
[coughing]
- SORRY, BIG BONES,
BUT THIS ROOSTER'S NOT ON THE MENU.
- IN OUR FINAL STORY, LOCAL CHEF BIG BONES MIGNON'S
NEW RECIPE FOR MUSTACHE JAMBALAYA
IS TAKING THE COUNTY BY STORM.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S LIKE A VACATION IN YOUR MOUTH, I GUARANTEE.
- [slurps]
MMM, THAT'S GOOD MUSTACHE.
[farts] HEY, I DON'T FEEL TOO GOOD.
- OTIS, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT PHONEY BIG BONES
IS GETTING THE CREDIT FOR YOUR MUSTACHE RECIPE.
- MM, WHO CARES?
FREDDY'S IMITATION ROOSTER IS AWESOME.
- IMITATION ROOSTER'S GREAT. - YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.
- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. WHERE'S PECK?
- [screams] - [screams]
- HEY, GUYS. WHATCHA DOING?
[all sigh in relief]
- I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT WE WERE THINKING.
- THAT THE SECRET INGREDIENT IN TOFROOSTER IS DANDRUFF?
HOW'D YOU GUESS?
- [screams] - [screams]
- * AHH! * - [farts]
- SUDDENLY, AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE, THIS HAPPENED.
SO THEN THE TICK SAYS, "GET THIS DOG OFF MY BUTT."
[laughter]
- WHO WANTS LUNCH?
[all exclaiming]
IT'S DELICIOUS HOMEMADE STEW.
- WELL, IF YOU MADE IT, IT HAS TO BE GOO--
OH, CUD, WHY?
[all complaining]
- DUDE, WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THIS?
- WELL, LET'S SEE.
MOTOR OIL, DAMP HAY, SOME ORTHOPEDIC INSOLES,
AND SOME WEIRD STUFF THAT WAS CAKED TO THE WALL.
[slurping]
- THAT'S JUST GROSS. - WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL US?
- WE WERE OUT OF EVERYTHING. I HAD TO IMPROVISE.
JUST TRY IT.
[grunts]
HEY, THE LADLE'S STUCK.
- OH, LET UNCKY OTIS'S COW MUSCLES HELP WITTLE PIGGY
WITH HIS BIG, BAD SPOON.
[grunting]
AM I ON A PRANK SHOW?
- OH, THAT'S JUST SAD.
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE.
-UH-OH, SMELLS LIKE FAILURE.
- JUST IMITATING YOU.
- GUYS, GIVE IT UP. IT'S JUST AN OLD STEW POT.
- GIVE UP? NEVER!
I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO PULL SPOON FROM STEW POT!
- ALL RIGHT, FELLAS.
LET HER RIP!
- I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, GUYS.
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THE FARMER LOVES HIS NEW TRUCK.
- I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE IN MY LIFE.
MORE SPARKLING CIDER?
[horn honks]
- OH, DUKE, YOU'RE JUST A BIG OLD WORRY POUCH.
BESIDES, I'LL BE GENTLE.
PEDAL TO THE METAL, BABY!
GOING TO THE FLOOR!
[tires screeching]
[metal creaking]
- COME ON. COME ON.
PULL, DARN YOU!
- UH, WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?
- NOW IT'S A SEMI.
- HEY, GUYS, WHAT DO YOU--
- WHAT? PROBABLY JUST SOME MINOR STRUCTURAL--
OH, THAT IS NOT GOOD.
- OTIS, WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET THE MONEY
TO FIX THAT TRUCK?
- GUYS, DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE SITTING ON THE INVENTION OF THE CENTURY.
PIG STEW IS OBVIOUSLY SOME SORT OF WONDER GLUE.
WE'LL JUST MIX UP SOME MORE AND SELL IT ON THE TV.
- WHY DON'T WE JUST USE THE GLUE TO FIX THE TRUCK?
- 'CAUSE THAT DON'T PUTS OTIS ON THE TV.
- PIG, CAN YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THAT STEW?
announcer: GOOD QUESTION! LET'S HEAR HIS ANSWER.
- SURE, I'LL JUST NEED TO EXPERIMENT A BIT
TO GET THE PROPORTIONS RIGHT.
- MONTAGE!
- * IT'S A SCIENCE MONTAGE, A SUCCESSION OF SOME CLIPS *
* 'CAUSE IT TAKES TOO LONG IN REAL TIME *
* A DECAGRAM OF THIS AND A BEAKERFUL OF THAT *
* HOPING FOR A CHEMICAL REACTION RIGHT HERE *
* IT'S A SCIENCE MONTAGE *
* YEAH, THEY'RE WORKING REAL HARD *
* IN A CARTOON MONTAGE FORMAT *
* WEARING CRAZY GOGGLES AND A LABORATORY COAT *
* SOON THEY'RE GONNA TRY TO STICK AN ANVIL TO THE WALL *
* SCIENCE MONTAGE! *
* NEVER TRY THIS AT HOME *
plunk!
- IT WON'T BUDGE.
- THAT STUFF REALLY WORKS.
- GUYS, LET'S GO SELL SOME GLUE.
ABBY AND BESSIE, READY ON THE PHONE BANKS?
- READY. - YEAH, I'M READY...
READY TO WHUP THE MORON WHO GLUED MY BUTT TO THIS CHAIR.
- HA HA! GLUED BUTT.
I MEAN, WHO WOULD DO SUCH A--
PECK, READY ON THE SATELLITE DISH?
- READY. - ALL RIGHT, PLACES, PEOPLE.
- WE PIRATE THE AIRWAVES IN FIVE...
FOUR, THREE--
[computer beeping]
- HOW COME YOU DON'T SAY "TWO" AND "ONE"?
- YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE YOUR FINGERS.
- WELL, I DON'T HAVE FINGERS. - THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.
- HELLO!
WELCOME TO THE BARN SHOPPING NETWORK.
I'M HUMAN TV PITCHMAN STEVE NOT-A-COW HERE
WITH THE GREATEST LIFE-CHANGING INVENTION
SINCE SPRAY-ON CHEST HAIR.
THAT'S RIGHT; I'M TALKING ABOUT MOO GLOO,
THE SPACE-AGE ADHESIVE WITH PATENTED STAYING POWER.
- [in booming voice] STAYING POWER!
- AND HERE TO TELL US HOW IT WORKS
IS THE INVENTOR OF MOO GLOO, DR. HIRAM SNOUTYMAN.
- THANKS, STEVE.
MOO GLOO WORKS THROUGH A SERIES OF PROCESSES.
- AMAZING.
BUT CAN I USE MOO GLOO TO MAKE EXCITING FRUIT SCULPTURE?
- I'M DOING IT NOW.
- FANTASTICAL!
WHAT ELSE CAN MOO GLOO DO?
- IT CAN ALSO GLUE FERRETS TO WALLS.
- [screams]
- [laughs] HE'S NOT COMING OFF.
WHY, I'D PAY $700,000 FOR THIS IN STORES.
- AND YET I'M OFFERING IT TO YOUR VIEWERS FOR JUST $1.99.
- WHA? DO YOU HAVE A FEVER?
- WHY? AM I SWEATING?
[laughs]
- BRO, WE GOT TO GET SOME MOO GLOO.
- [in high-pitched voice] MOO GLOO, MOO GLOO!
DUDDELY DUDDELY DOO GLA-GLUE GLUE!
- IF IT'S HALF AS GOOD AS THE BEJEWELERIZER,
I'LL TAKE SEVEN.
- OH, CRIKEY.
- [screams]
- BIGFOOT WANTS THREE BOTTLES.
HI, THANKS FOR CALLING MOO GLOO. PLEASE HOLD.
HI, I'M BACK.
12 BOTTLES? YOU GOT IT.
- OKAY, ENJOY YOUR MOO GLOO...
YOU SORRY LITTLE FREAK.
HELLO. THANKS FOR CALLING MOO GLOO.
- MR. MAYOR, WE HAVE A CRISIS.
THERE'S A CRACK IN THE CITY'S MANURE-CONTAINMENT TANK.
IF WE DON'T PATCH UP THAT CRACK,
THE ENTIRE TOWN WILL BE FLOODED WITH MANURE.
- THIS IS SERIOUS.
AND SERIOUS THINGS MAKE ME NERVOUS.
BETTER TURN ON THE BOOB TUBE TO CALM DOWN.
- SO JUST ONE BOTTLE OF MOO GLOO STUCK ALL THOSE SHOES TOGETHER?
- YUP.
- MOO GLOO CAN GLUE ANYTHING!
- ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?
- SALLY, GET ME MY CREDIT CARD.
- THIS IS A GOOD EPISODE.
I HAVE AN IDEA FOR ONE WHERE THE ANIMALS RACE GO-CARTS.
- AWESOME JOB, GUYS. - YOU'RE TELLING ME.
- THAT WAS AMAZING. - YOU SAID IT.
- OTIS, WE MADE OVER $407.
- WELL, THAT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH TO FIX THE FARMER'S NEW TRUCK.
- YUP, EVERYTHING WORKED OUT PRETTY DARN WELL.
- UH, DID FREDDY JUST EXPLODE?
- YES.
- I HOPE IT WASN'T THE GLUE.
- WHAT? OF COURSE IT WASN'T THE...
- WHOA!
- GLUE.
- IT MUST RIPEN INTO A POWERFUL EXPLOSIVE AFTER...
TWO HOURS.
- SEE?
- THAT ONLY GIVES US AN HOUR TO GET BACK ALL THE GLUE WE SOLD
BEFORE IT EXPLODES IN PEOPLE'S HOUSES.
- YOU'RE RIGHT. TO THE--
- NICE GLUE, DUMMIES.
announcer: SHE'S BEING SARCASTIC.
SHE KNOWS THE GLUE ISN'T NICE.
I'M PUTTING HER IN THE GO-CART EPISODE.
- HELLO, YOU PROBABLY REMEMBER US
FROM THE MOO GLOO COMMERCIAL.
- YES, YOUR WONDERFUL PRODUCTS
SAVED MY LIMITED-EDITION 231 SAD GIRL CLOWN BICYCLING.
- WHY, SHE'S PRECIOUS.
MAY I SEE HER WITH MY HANDS?
- WELL, I--OH.
- MOM.
- HERE'S YOUR REFUND. - WE SAVED YOUR LIFE. - YOU'RE WELCOME. BYE!
- DUDE, THANKS TO MOO GLOO,
WE FINALLY BUILT OUR DREAM TREE HOUSE.
- WHA? - DUDE, FREE PICKLE!
- HEY, COME BACK HERE, PICKLE.
- I'D LIKE A PICKLE.
- * RETRIEVAL MONTAGE *
* IT'S A RETRIEVAL MONTAGE *
* MAKING IT GO FASTER 'CAUSE IT'S BORING IN REAL TIME *
* TRYING TO GET THE GLUE BEFORE THE CITY GOES KABLAMO *
* HERE'S SOME GRATUITOUS SLOW MOTION *
* WE ARE LOUSY CHEMISTS *
- [high-pitched scream]
- GOOD WORK, TEAM.
ACCORDING TO THE SALES LIST, WE FOUND ALL THE GLUE.
- WHEW. - WHAT A RELIEF.
- THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE. - YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.
- THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.
- OH, I'M SO HAPPY.
- UH, DUDE, CHECK THE BACK OF THE PAGE.
- WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I DON'T SEE ANY--SWEET CUD!
WE SOLD 500 POUNDS OF GLUE TO CITY HALL?
- OH, YEAH, DIDN'T I MENTION?
- COME ON! - LET'S GO. - ALL RIGHT!
- WOW.
NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL A STICKY SITUATION.
LET'S KILL SOME TIME
BY ANSWERING SOME OF TODAY'S VIEWER MAIL.
MAHESH FROM BANGALORE WRITES, "DEAR PIG,
HOW CAN I START MY OWN BUSINESS?"
WELL, MAHESH, FIRST YOU'LL NEED TO RAISE SOME SEED MONEY.
THE SIMPLEST WAY IS TO FIND A MAGICAL LEPRECHAUN,
FOLLOW HIM TO HIS POT OF GOLD,
THEN IMPRISON HIM IN THE RAINBOW FOREST.
YOU CAN NOW USE HIS GOLD AS CAPITAL FOR YOUR NEW BUSINESS.
NEXT, FIND A SUITABLE LOCATION TO SET UP SHOP.
I RECOMMEND AN EXTINCT VOLCANO OR THE MOON.
FINALLY, YOU'LL NEED A FRIENDLY AND COURTEOUS SALES STAFF.
DON'T HIRE DONKEYS; THEY'RE SURLY AND UNPREDICTABLE.
- YOU'RE SURLY AND UNPREDICTABLE.
- SEE WHAT I MEAN?
beep! - [screams]
- AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.
YOU'RE READY TO OPEN YOUR DOORS.
JUST REMEMBER THE FIRST RULE OF BUSINESS:
THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS NAMED PHYLLIS.
NOW BACK TO THE ACTION.
- THIS JUST IN.
THE TOWN'S CRACKED MANURE VAT HAS JUST BEEN FIXED
THANKS TO MOO GLOO, THE WONDER ADHESIVE
THAT'S TAKEN THE COUNTY BY STORM.
- PIG, WHEN DID YOU MAKE THAT 500-POUND BATCH?
- I THINK IT WAS AROUND 2:00.
- THEN WE'VE GOT EXACTLY THREE MINUTES
BEFORE THAT TANK EXPLODES AND FLOODS THE TOWN WITH MANURE.
- OH, MY. THEY'LL HAVE TO THINK FAST TO GET OUT OF THIS ONE.
- UH, YOU GONNA KEEP DOING THAT?
- OH, EXCUSE ME, MR. ON-CAMERA TALENT!
LET'S SEE IF YOU MAKE IT INTO MY GO-CART EPISODE.
- STAND ASIDE.
- DO I KNOW YOU?
- FEDERAL MANURE INSPECTORS.
WE NEED TO INSPECT YOUR MANURE.
- WHICH IS WHY THAT'S OUR JOB TITLE.
- YES. STOP YOUR MOUTH.
- FEDERAL MANURE INSPECTORS?
NEVER HEARD OF YOU.
- WE'RE AN OBSCURE OFFSHOOT
OF THE U.S. BUREAU OF INSPECTING STUFF.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS. MOVE IT OUT.
- NOW, HOLD ON. THAT'S COUNTY PROPERTY.
- YES, WELL, I HAVE NO FURTHER EXPLANATION.
BYE.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
- GO, GO, GO!
[engine revving]
- MANURE THIEVES! AFTER THEM!
[sirens wailing]
[lively music]
- FASTER, OTIS.
WE ONLY GOT 30 SECONDS TILL THE MANURE TANK EXPLODES.
- A SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT.
IT SEEMS THE TOWN'S MANURE VAT HAS JUST BEEN HIJACKED
BY A GANG OF FAKE FEDERAL AGENTS.
HEY, GET OFF OF ME.
[insects buzzing]
OKAY, THAT'S DISGUSTING.
- FIVE SECONDS TILL EXPLOSION, OTIS.
- HANG ON!
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW.
THAT MANURE WAS DANGEROUS.
- THOSE FELLAS AIN'T MANURE THIEVES; THEY'RE HEROES!
[people cheering]
- WELL, GUYS, IT WASN'T EASY, BUT WITH A LITTLE TEAMWORK,
WE FIXED THE FARMER'S TRUCK.
- LOOK OUT. HERE HE COMES.
- HELLO, OLD GIRL.
DID YOU MISS ME?
[engine turns over]
- HEY, FREDDY, BEAUTIFUL JOB ON THAT REAR BUMPER.
- THANKS, OTIS.
I USED PIG'S SPECIAL GLUE TO FIX IT.
- UH...
- WOULD THAT BE THE GLUE WE JUST SPENT ALL DAY
TRYING TO TRACK DOWN AND DESTROY SO IT WOULDN'T EXPLODE PEOPLE?
- YES.
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
- NEVER MIND.
announcer: DON'T WORRY; THE FARMER RECOVERED
AND WILL SOON STAR IN MY AMAZING GO-CART EPISODE.
- I THINK WE NEED A NEW ANNOUNCER.
announcer: TOO LATE. THE END!
Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com