1 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,610 [cup shatters] 2 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:12,680 - HELLO, AND WELCOME TO THE BARNYARD CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. 3 00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:15,849 I'M AFRAID OTIS AND HIS FRIENDS COULDN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT, 4 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,718 SO I'LL BE BEGUILING YOU 5 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:21,522 WITH STORIES, GAMES, AND WONDERS BEYOND IMAGINATION. 6 00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:24,892 SO LET'S KICK THINGS OFF WITH A JOYOUS HOLIDAY ROOT CANAL. 7 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,827 HERE WE GO. THIS FEELS GOOD. 8 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,229 - STOP! - HUH? 9 00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:29,663 - THIS IS NOT THE REAL OPENING SEQUENCE. 10 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:30,798 YOU, SIR, ARE A FRAUD. 11 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:31,965 ROLL HIM UP, GUYS. 12 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,367 - ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. 13 00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:38,339 [all talking] 14 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:39,940 - WHOA! 15 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:43,877 all: IT'S THE BARNYARD CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! 16 00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:44,878 [whirring] 17 00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:45,913 - PIG! 18 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,581 - WHAT? I HAVE A CAVITY. 19 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:52,086 [upbeat hoedown music] 20 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,921 [whistles] 21 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,990 - * FROM THE HAYSTACKS UP TO THE HILLTOPS * 22 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,593 * WE GO ON DANCING * 23 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:02,130 * BOOGIE OOGIE THROUGH THE NIGHT * 24 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:08,001 * * 25 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:09,737 * DO SI DO YOUR PARTNER NOW * 26 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,472 * * 27 00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,274 * GONNA PARTY DOWN TILL THE MORNING LIGHT * 28 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,042 * * 29 00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:16,477 * DO SI DO AND DON'T YOU KNOW * 30 00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:19,213 * IT'S JUST THE WAY WE ANIMALS ROLL * 31 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:27,155 * * 32 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:35,263 * DO SI DO YOUR PARTNER NOW * 33 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,231 * GONNA PARTY DOWN TILL THE MORNING LIGHT * 34 00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,966 * * 35 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,801 * DO SI DO AND DON'T YOU KNOW * 36 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,570 * IT'S JUST THE WAY WE ANIMALS ROLL * 37 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,372 - HA HA! 38 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,277 [light instrumental music] 39 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:53,647 * * 40 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,583 - * WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS * 41 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,851 * WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS * 42 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,753 - THAT'S IT. 43 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,189 A LITTLE TO THE LEFT. 44 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,190 NOW TO THE RIGHT. 45 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:03,624 NO, MY RIGHT. 46 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:06,427 NOW JIGGLE IT AND LET IT KNOW WHO'S BOSS. 47 00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:08,796 AH, LET'S TAKE A BREAK. 48 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,898 - I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO LIGHT THE TREE, OTIS. 49 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,600 THAT THING IS HUGE! 50 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,202 - YES, ABBY, ALL THIS HOLIDAY HOOPLA 51 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,804 REMINDS YOU OF WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT THIS TIME OF YEAR. 52 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,472 - FRIENDS AND FAMILY? - PEACE ON EARTH? 53 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:19,840 - GOODWILL TOWARDS BADGERS? 54 00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,209 - SCENTED CAR DEODORIZERS? 55 00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,343 - BUTTER. IS IT BUTTER? 56 00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,645 - HA HA, YOUR GUESSING MAKES ME TIRED. 57 00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:26,214 NO, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S IMPORTANT: 58 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,449 SHOPPING FOR TONIGHT'S AWESOME CHRISTMAS PARTY! 59 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:29,817 ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE. 60 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,685 WE NEED EVERYTHING ON THIS SHOPPING LIST STAT. 61 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,921 - OTIS, THAT SHOPPING LIST IS HUGE! 62 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,523 - I DON'T GET IT, OTIS. 63 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,225 WHY YOU MAKING SUCH A FUSS OVER THIS YEAR'S CHRISTMAS PARTY? 64 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,092 - I TOLD YOU; I INVITED SPECIAL SURPRISE GUESTS. 65 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:40,961 YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO BE ASTOUNDIFIED. 66 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:43,331 - WOW, THAT WORD IS HUGE! 67 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:44,432 - YES. STOP SAYING THAT. 68 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,433 NOW, LET'S FAN OUT AND-- 69 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,767 HEY, WHERE'S PIG? 70 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,337 - HE'S IN LINE TO SEE SANTA. 71 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,439 - HO, HO, HOODILLY GOODILLY! 72 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,574 MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU ADORABLE LITTLE URCHIN. 73 00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,243 - HEY, YOU'RE NOT SANTA. 74 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,877 YOU'RE THAT NEWSCASTER GUY. 75 00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:57,978 - THAT'S RIGHT, KID. 76 00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:00,614 I'M HELPING SANTA OUT THIS YEAR. 77 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,149 HERE, HAVE SOME PEPPERMINT TOAST 78 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,718 FROM THE GOOD PEOPLE AT HOOBERMAN'S BAKERY. 79 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,687 IT'S CHRISMALICIOUS! 80 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,389 - OOH, SANTA, SANTA! 81 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,358 I WANT A UNICORN WITH A PINK MANE 82 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,825 AND A RAINBOW TAIL AND-- 83 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,261 - HEY, WAIT YOUR TURN, JUNIOR. 84 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,128 SANTA'S ONLY GOT ONE LAP. 85 00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,129 - THIS IS BAD. 86 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:17,731 WE NEED PIG'S SHOPPING SKILLS. 87 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,368 WE'RE ALREADY DOWN A MAN, SINCE FREDDY GOT FERRET FEVER. 88 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:23,437 - WELL, DOC, HOW ARE THE TEST RESULTS? 89 00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:26,073 - WELL, THE BAD NEWS IS, YOU GOT A TEMPERATURE OF 308. 90 00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,376 - OH. WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS? 91 00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,278 - NOW I CAN DO THIS. 92 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,515 - OKAY, CHANGE OF PLAN. 93 00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:35,849 ABBY, YOU'RE WITH ME ON ORNAMENTS. 94 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:36,884 PIP, EGGNOG. 95 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,319 PECK, YOU'RE ON NOODLE KUGEL. 96 00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:39,420 - ROGER THAT. - 10-4. 97 00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,554 - KUGEL, RIGHT. 98 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:43,357 - BARNYARD SHOPPING FORCE, DEPLOY! 99 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,625 - OOH! 100 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:45,959 [bells jingling] 101 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,296 - DOWN YOU GO, LITTLE BOY OR GIRL OR WHATEVER. 102 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,697 OKAY, WHO'S NEXT? 103 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:50,731 - OH, ME! I'M NEXT. 104 00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:51,932 I'M NEXT. I'M-- 105 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:54,435 - OUT OF MY WAY, STUPID NEXT KID. 106 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,804 - OHHHHHHH! 107 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,707 crash! 108 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:00,808 HELP! 109 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,042 - ANYWAY, I WAS THINKING 110 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,611 THE RED BUNTING GOES BETTER WITH THE-- 111 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,313 - OTIS, THAT WAS PIG. WE GOTTA HELP HIM. 112 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,114 - OH, FINE! 113 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,416 - HO, HO, HO! 114 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,883 MERRY CH-- 115 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,920 - SHUT YOUR HOLIDAY HOLE, BEARDY. 116 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,323 - SAY, YOU'RE A HEFTY LITTLE GUY, AIN'T YOU? 117 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,757 - NOW, LISTEN GOOD. 118 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:21,329 EVERY YEAR, I ASK YOU AND YOUR SORRY GIANT BEHIND 119 00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:24,365 FOR THE SAME THING: A RED RIDER B.B. TASER 120 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:27,335 WITH DOUBLE-PUMP BATTERY ACTION FOR EXTRA PAINFULNESS. 121 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,770 BUT YOU NEVER BRING IT TO ME! 122 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:32,340 - WHY, I THINK I'M LOSING FEELING IN MY LEGS. 123 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:35,576 - IF I DON'T GET A B.B. TASER THIS YEAR, 124 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:39,046 YOU'LL BE VERY, VERY SORRY. 125 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,648 - I'M ALREADY SORRY. 126 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,516 SHEESH, IS IT EASTER YET? 127 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:43,784 - PIG, PIG! 128 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,719 - OH! - ARE YOU OKAY? 129 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,054 - SNOTTY BOY BUMPED ME OUT OF LINE, 130 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,756 AND I DIDN'T GET TOAST, 131 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:51,792 AND NOW I'LL NEVER GET A UNICORN! 132 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,361 [sobbing] 133 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:54,962 - OTIS, WE HAVE ALL THE STUFF FOR YOUR PARTY. 134 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,464 LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE. 135 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:57,665 - NO WAY. 136 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,667 THIS INSULT CALLS FOR CHRISTMAS VENGEANCE. 137 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:02,403 - THAT'S THE MOST HEARTWARMING VENGEANCE OF ALL. 138 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,837 - JUST TAKE YOUR TOAST AND GO. 139 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,373 - SAY IT. SAY WE HAVE A DEAL. 140 00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:07,841 - HEY, WHAT THE-- LET GO! 141 00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:10,744 - MERRY CHRISTMAS, HATE-SACK. 142 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,246 - [spluttering] 143 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,882 LET GO OF ME! 144 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,149 HEY, GET ME DOWN. 145 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:17,918 YOU'RE GOING TO BE SORRY. 146 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,988 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THIS HERE TREE LIGHTING GOING. 147 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,290 WOULD YOU DO THE HONORS, BIGFOOT? 148 00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:24,658 - WHAT ARE YOU DO-- 149 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,627 [electricity crackling] 150 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,996 crowd: OOH! 151 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,631 - HAPPY HOLIDAYS. - MERRY CHRISTMAS. 152 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,099 - I LOVE YOU GUYS. 153 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,802 - NOW LET'S LEAVE. 154 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,770 - LATER THAT NIGHT, THE ANIMALS HAD A CHRISTMAS PARTY. 155 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:37,971 DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. 156 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,773 LOOK. WITH YOUR EYES. NOW! 157 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,775 [people talking and music playing] 158 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,216 - HEY, ABBY, LOOK, MISTLETOE. 159 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:50,651 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 160 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,420 - I SURE DO. 161 00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,457 - YOU TASTE JUST LIKE A PEACH. 162 00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:57,458 - [screams] 163 00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:58,492 THUD! 164 00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,994 - MMM, EGGNOG! 165 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:05,666 - HOW YOU FEELING, FREDDY? 166 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:06,967 - TERRIBLE. 167 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,336 I'M SO SICK, I CAN'T EVEN TASTE PECK. 168 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,638 - YOU'RE RIGHT, FREDDY. 169 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,706 THOSE TONSILS ARE DEFINITELY SWOLLEN. 170 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,307 - GET BACK IN THERE. 171 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:15,843 - HEY, BESSY, I GOT YOU A PRESENT. 172 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,611 - OH, A MOUSETRAP. 173 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:19,246 - WHAT? NO, IT'S NOT-- 174 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,582 - HEY, EBENEZER LARD-BUTT, 175 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,951 WHERE ARE THESE SURPRISE GUESTS YOU TOLD US ABOUT? 176 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,619 - COOL YOUR JETS, GHOST OF CHRISTMAS UGLY. 177 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:26,687 THEY'LL BE HERE. 178 00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:28,355 [bells jingling] 179 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:29,657 YEE! THAT'S THEM NOW. 180 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,358 COME ON, EVERYBODY. 181 00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:33,794 - I HEAR BELLS. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS? 182 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,295 WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S THAT RINGING? 183 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,564 - I THINK I SEE THEM UP THERE. 184 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:37,931 - UP THERE? 185 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,667 WHO'S YOUR GUEST, SANTA AND HIS REINDEER? 186 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,134 [laughter] 187 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,169 - HO, HO, HO! 188 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,270 all: HUH? 189 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:47,741 - MERRY CHRISTMAS! 190 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,076 - IT IS SANTA. 191 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,178 - OTIS, YOU NEVER TOLD US YOU KNEW SANTA CLAUS. 192 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,480 - I DON'T, BUT I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL 193 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,581 WITH DONNER AND BLITZEN. 194 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:54,848 I CONTACTED THEM ON SNOUTBOOK 195 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,349 AND CONVINCED THEM TO STOP BY TONIGHT. 196 00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:58,185 - OTIS, MY MAIN BOVINE. 197 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,888 - [with German accent] OTIS, FANTASTISCH TO SEE YOU. 198 00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:01,955 - DONNER! BLITZ, BABY! 199 00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,123 WHAT'S UP? 200 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,925 - JUST SPREADING A LITTLE CHRISTMAS LOVE. 201 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:06,994 - JA, SPREADING THE CHRISTMAS LOVE. 202 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,529 FANTASTISCH! 203 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,163 - GUYS, THESE ARE MY FRIENDS. 204 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:13,066 [all saying greetings] 205 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,401 - OTIS, YOU SURE IT'S ALL RIGHT 206 00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,203 FOR US TO TALK IN FRONT OF SANTA? 207 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,237 - AH, DON'T WORRY. 208 00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,906 BIG RED KNOWS ANIMALS CAN TALK. 209 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,174 - JA, HE'S ALWAYS MAKING TALKING WITH THE ANIMALS. 210 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,242 - [clears throat] 211 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,844 - UH-OH, BE COOL. 212 00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:25,112 - GUYS, LET'S KEEP THIS SHORT. 213 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,714 THIS COUNTY IS OUR LAST STOP, 214 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,516 AND THERE'S NO TIME TO DILLY-DALLY. 215 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,818 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 216 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,653 SANTA? REINDEER? 217 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,389 - SORRY, YO. GOT TO SPLIT. 218 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:37,558 - JA, BACK TO THE WORKING, 219 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,593 WITH THE TOYS AND THE FLYING AND SUCH. 220 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,761 - HEY, SANTA, CHILL OUT. 221 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,062 WE'RE THROWING AN AWESOME PARTY. 222 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,230 WE GOT MUSIC, DANCING. 223 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,331 YOU GOT TO COME IN. 224 00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:46,333 - YEAH, NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 225 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,701 COME ON, LADS. 226 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,803 - YO, OTIS, OFFER HIM CINNAMON. 227 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,640 - OH, JA, SANTA IS SILLY FOR THE CINNAMON. 228 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,107 - IT'S OKAY, SANTA. 229 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,543 WE'LL JUST DRINK 230 00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:57,811 ALL THIS DELICIOUS CINNAMON EGGNOG OURSELVES, 231 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,246 HAVING A CINNAMONY GOOD TIME. 232 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,681 NICE MEETING YOU, THOUGH. 233 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:01,982 CINNAMON. 234 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:05,252 - DID THEY TELL YOU TO MENTION CINNAMON? 235 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,353 - YES. 236 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,588 - WELL, IT WORKED! 237 00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,156 LET ME AT THAT BAD BOY. 238 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,792 [all cheering] 239 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,828 SO THE ELF SAYS, "THAT'S NO PIXIE. 240 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,229 THAT'S MY WIFE." 241 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:19,232 [laughter] 242 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,835 - SANTA, YOU ARE HI-LARIOUS. 243 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,671 - HEY, SANTA, DO YOU KNOW THE EASTER BUNNY? 244 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:24,838 - KNOW HIM? 245 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,373 THAT CARROT JOCKEY OWES ME 50 BUCKS. 246 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:29,109 [laughter] 247 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,612 JUMPING GINGERBREAD, LOOK AT THE TIME! 248 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,814 OTIS, HOW ABOUT ONE MORE CUP OF NOG FOR THE ROAD? 249 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,148 - YOU GOT IT, BIG RED. 250 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,584 - TELL US ANOTHER STORY, SANTA. 251 00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:37,918 - YEAH, LET US A STORY. - YEAH, COME ON, SANTA. 252 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:38,886 - TELL US A HUGE ONE. 253 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,053 - ANOTHER STORY? 254 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,822 WHAT IS THIS, SANTA'S BOOK CLUB? 255 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,256 HEY, NEXT TIME I'LL TELL YOU 256 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,192 ABOUT WHEN ME AND RUDOLPH WENT ON SPRING BREAK. 257 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,327 NO HIDING FROM THE COPS WITH THAT NOSE. 258 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,362 [laughter] 259 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:52,700 [ominous music] 260 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,267 - HERE'S YOUR NOG, SANTA. 261 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,636 - THANKS, PAL-Y. 262 00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:58,238 ELVES LIKE TO ICE SKATE, BUT I'D RATHER SCUBA. 263 00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:01,341 WHEN THIS GIG IS OVER, I'M OFF TO ARUBA. 264 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,944 [laughter] 265 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:04,912 [glugging] 266 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:05,946 AH! 267 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,181 WELL, MERRY CHRISTMAS! 268 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,817 - OKAY, SANTA. YOU BE GOOD, NOW. 269 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:10,984 - EXCUSE ME. 270 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,186 DID ANYONE SEE MY SPECIAL CUP? 271 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,221 - WHAT SPECIAL CUP? 272 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,522 - THE ONE I WAS USING 273 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:18,025 SO NO ONE ELSE WOULD GET MY FERRET FEVER GERMS. 274 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,827 OH, THERE IT IS. 275 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:24,064 [dramatic music] 276 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,799 - OH. - WHOOPSIE. 277 00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,067 - WHAT DID YOU DO, DOOFUS? 278 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,870 YOU GAVE SANTA A CONTAMINATED FERRET CUP? 279 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,371 - OH, DON'T WORRY. 280 00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:34,474 OLD SANTA IS AS HEALTHY AS THEY COME. 281 00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:36,376 - * JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS * 282 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,045 * JINGLE ALL THE WAY * 283 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:42,883 - HOI, HOI, HOI, HOI, HOI, HOI HOI, HOI! 284 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:46,053 TAKE THIS! TAKE THAT! 285 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,921 - SUDDENLY, I DON'T FEEL-- 286 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,056 FALL DOWN! 287 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,557 [all gasp] 288 00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:52,926 [light ragtime music] 289 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:56,029 - HELLO, I'M PIG WITH ANOTHER CHRISTMASTIME TIP 290 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,131 BROUGHT TO YOU BY HOOBERMAN'S BAKERY. 291 00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:01,434 HOOBERMAN'S, IT BAKES IN YOUR MOUTH. 292 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:02,970 WELL, IT'S THE HOLIDAY SEASON AGAIN, 293 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,506 SO GET READY TO BE INVITED TO SOME FESTIVE HOLIDAY PARTIES. 294 00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:09,710 HERE ARE SOME TIPS ON HOW TO BE THE PERFECT PARTY GUEST. 295 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:12,579 STEP ONE: ARRIVE EARLY. 296 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:13,914 [knocking] 297 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:16,116 - PIG, IT'S 5:00 A.M. 298 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,418 THE PARTY'S NOT FOR 14 HOURS. 299 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:19,419 - NO PROBLEM. 300 00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:20,553 I'LL JUST WAIT IN YOUR CLOSET. 301 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,789 GOT ANY COCKTAIL WIENIES? 302 00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:26,927 NOW YOUR HOST IS WIDE AWAKE AND WON'T MISS HIS OWN PARTY. 303 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:30,931 STEP TWO: ALWAYS BRING YOUR HOST A GIFT. 304 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,900 - HEY, PIG, GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. 305 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,301 - THIS IS FOR YOU. 306 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,904 - ISN'T THIS MY MAILBOX? 307 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,106 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 308 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,208 YOU KNOW HE LIKES IT BECAUSE HE ALREADY BOUGHT IT. 309 00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:44,511 STEP THREE: TRY TO BE FUNNY. 310 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,415 - IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER? 311 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,683 - THE PARTY'S OUT OF CONTROL. 312 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,451 YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. - WHAT? 313 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:54,321 BUT, OFFICER, WE'RE JUST HAVING A NICE LITTLE PARTY. 314 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,655 - HA HA, JUST KIDDING! 315 00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,357 IT'S ME, PIG. 316 00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,827 SO HOW WE DOING ON THOSE COCKTAIL WIENIES? 317 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,262 NOW YOU'RE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. 318 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,064 HE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT YOU FOR DAYS. 319 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:06,133 WELL, THAT CONCLUDES THIS CHRISTMASTIME TIP 320 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,168 FROM HOOBERMAN'S BAKERY. 321 00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:11,304 HOOBERMAN'S: THE FLAVOR IS OPTIONAL. 322 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:14,141 NOW BACK TO THE ACTION. 323 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,142 - ACH, DU LIEBER! 324 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,543 YOU BROKE SANTA! 325 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,779 - NOW HE CAN'T FINISH DELIVERING THE PRESENTS, 326 00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,748 AND WE STILL GOT THIS COUNTY TO GO. 327 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:21,749 - OKAY, OKAY. CALM DOWN. 328 00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:22,983 WE CAN WORK THIS OUT. 329 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:25,085 MAYBE SANTA CAN MAKE IT UP TO THE COUNTY 330 00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,754 WITH SOME NICE PRESIDENTS' DAY GIFTS. 331 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,621 - DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CHRISTMAS? 332 00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:31,558 - JA, IF SANTA IS NOT FINISHING HIS ROUNDS BY MIDNIGHT, 333 00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:34,527 THE LAW OF CHRISTMAS MAGIC WILL BE KERFUFTENZEIGER. 334 00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,163 THAT MEANS "BROKEN." 335 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,766 - AND IF THE LAW OF CHRISTMAS MAGIC IS KERFUFTENZEIGER... 336 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,167 - BROKEN. 337 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,770 - SANTA GONNA LOSE HIS HOLIDAY POWERS PERMANENTLY. 338 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:46,339 - AND ZAT MEANS NO MORE CHRISTMAS FOREVER. 339 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,975 - WHAT? YOU MEAN I-- 340 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,310 all: YOU KILLED CHRISTMAS! 341 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:53,280 - NICE GOING, SUGAR PLUM MORON. 342 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,085 - WELCOME BACK TO THE STORY, 343 00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,553 WHERE THINGS ARE LOOKING RATHER GLUM. 344 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,924 THANKS TO OTIS, SANTA HAS COME DOWN WITH FERRET FEVER, 345 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,393 AND NOW CHRISTMAS MIGHT BE CANCELLED FOREVER. 346 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:09,596 LUCKILY, I'VE GOT JUST THE THING TO LIFT OUR SPIRITS: 347 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,999 AN OLD-FASHIONED HOLIDAY FOOT BUFFING! 348 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,266 * CHRISTMAS IS COMING * 349 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,667 * MY FOOT IS GETTING BUFFED * 350 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,136 * FILE DOWN THE BUNIONS, AND-- * 351 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,170 [door bangs open] 352 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,171 - HE'S DOING IT AGAIN. 353 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,139 - GET HIM! 354 00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,508 [animals yelling] 355 00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:23,676 - WHOA! 356 00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:24,812 thud! 357 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,279 [sawing noise] 358 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,514 - PIG! 359 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,249 - SORRY. 360 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,818 - MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE STORY... 361 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:33,253 - OH! OOH. 362 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,455 - OTIS, YOU INCAPACITATED SANTA. 363 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:36,556 WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? 364 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,291 - THIS IS SO NOT FANTASTISCH. 365 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,527 - NO, NO, NO, NO, IT'LL BE FANTASTISCH. 366 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,362 LOOK, I THINK HE'S COMING AROUND. 367 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,363 - OOH. 368 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,664 THANKS, EVERYONE. 369 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:46,834 SANTA JUST HAD A LITTLE SCARE THERE, 370 00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,836 BUT EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE-- 371 00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:50,470 FALL DOWN AGAIN! 372 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,539 - HE SOUNDS BETTER ALREADY. 373 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,841 - IT'S NO USE, OTIS. 374 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,743 FERRET FEVER LASTS EXACTLY SIX HOURS. 375 00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,111 - SIX HOURS, THAT MEANS 376 00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,746 SANTA WON'T FINISH DELIVERING PRESENTS BY MIDNIGHT. 377 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,049 - AND THEN CHRISTMAS WILL BE KERFUFTENZEIGER. 378 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,183 - THAT MEANS "BROKEN." 379 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,484 - I BETTER CALL THE NORTH POLE 380 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,386 AND TELL THEM CHRISTMAS IS OFF FOR GOOD. 381 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,555 - WAIT. MY FRIENDS AND I CAN DELIVER THE PRESENTS. 382 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,622 all: YEAH! 383 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:10,657 - WAIT. - YOU SURE ABOUT THIS? 384 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:11,724 - WE CAN? 385 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:12,926 - IMPOSSIBLISH! 386 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,928 THE SLEIGH ONLY FLIES FOR MR. SANTA. 387 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:18,065 - AND ONLY SANTA CAN MAGICALLY PRODUCE PRESENTS FROM HIS SACK. 388 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,566 - THEN WE'LL MAKE PRESENTS, 389 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,168 AND WE CAN USE THE TRACTOR TO DELIVER THEM. 390 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,735 WE CAN DO THIS, PEOPLE. 391 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:23,971 - THAT'S JUST CRAZY ENOUGH TO WORK. 392 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,772 BYE, NOW. 393 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,674 - OH, OTIS, CAN I BE IN CHARGE OF TOY MAKING? 394 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,742 WE'LL WEAR ELF COSTUMES AND FAKE POINTY EARS 395 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:31,511 AND SING A HAPPY TUNE WHILE WE WORK! 396 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,046 - REALLY? - IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY? 397 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,081 - I DON'T KNOW. 398 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,083 - WE'RE DOING IT! 399 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,919 all: * IT'S TIME TO MAKE SOME PRESENTS * 400 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,321 * 'CAUSE SANTA'S DOWN WITH THE FLU * 401 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:45,525 * WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER LIKE A HAPPY HOLIDAY CREW * 402 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:46,960 * WE'VE GOT A LIST OF KIDS * 403 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,696 * WHO WERE NICE, NOT NAUGHTY, THIS YEAR * 404 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:50,998 * WE'VE GOT TO MAKE THEM HAPPY * 405 00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:54,201 * FILL THEM WITH HOLIDAY CHEER * 406 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:55,602 - * YOUR TOOLS. GET YOUR PAINT. * 407 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,104 * NO TIME TO WASTE * 408 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,705 - * STOP EATING THE PASTE * - AW! 409 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:02,910 - * WE'VE GOT TO MAKE TOYS FOR EVERYONE * 410 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,945 - * HERE'S A TRAIN THAT I MADE FROM CHEDDAR CHEESE * 411 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,080 * DON'T FIRE ME, PLEASE * 412 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,781 - * I'M MAKING A BAT. HOW 'BOUT THAT? * 413 00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:11,551 * YOU CAN HIT A HOME RUN WITH THESE * 414 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:12,819 - * WE'VE GOT COOL ROBOTS WALKING * 415 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:13,921 * AND CUTE DUCKS SQUAWKING * 416 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,655 * NICE WORK * 417 00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:19,927 - WE'RE ONLY THIS HOLIDAY MESS 'CAUSE YOU ARE A JERK. 418 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,428 all: * LET'S GET THOSE PRESENTS PACKED * 419 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,696 * IN SANTA'S SACK IN THE SLEIGH * 420 00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:27,534 * BECAUSE WE'RE SICK OF SINGING AND NEED TO GET ON OUR WAY * 421 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,070 - ONE MORE TI-- 422 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,072 - BRAVO! FANTASTISCH! 423 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,440 UEBER FANTASTISCH! 424 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,408 - YEAH, THAT'S ALL BROADWAY AND WHATNOT, 425 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,111 BUT HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DELIVER ALL THESE BY MIDNIGHT? 426 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,512 - I DUCKED OUT DURING THE THIRD VERSE 427 00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:40,813 AND CHRISTMASIZED THE TRACTOR. 428 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,416 CHECK OUT THIS SWEET YULETIDE RIDE. 429 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,518 all: OOH! 430 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,154 - ACH, DU LIEBER! 431 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,523 ZE TRACTOR LOOKS--OH, WHAT IS THE WORD I'M LOOKING FOR? 432 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,059 all: FANTASTISCH? 433 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,127 - IT'S LIKE YOU'RE INSIDE MY BRAIN HEAD. 434 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:57,030 - DANG, OTIS, YOU MIGHT JUST PULL THIS THING OFF AFTER ALL. 435 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,065 - YOU CAN BET ON IT. 436 00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,132 COME ON, ELVES. 437 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,667 WE'VE GOT TOYS TO DELIVER. 438 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:01,834 - YEAH, COME ON, EVERYBODY! 439 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:03,136 LET'S DO IT! 440 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,072 [whirring down] 441 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,573 - YOU BETTER BOOGIE, BABY. 442 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,341 CHRISTMAS MAGIC IS STARTING TO FADE. 443 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,977 YOU GOT TO PUT A PRESENT 444 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,279 UNDER EVERY CHRISTMAS TREE IN THE COUNTY BY MIDNIGHT, 445 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,214 OR IT'S GAME OVER. 446 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,648 - RELAX. MY PLAN IS PERFECT. 447 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,985 NOTHING CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG. 448 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,619 - HO, HO, HO! 449 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:23,223 HO-- [winding down] 450 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,392 - HA HA! 451 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,360 THAT STUPID OLD SANTA CLAUS 452 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,662 BETTER BRING ME WHAT I WANT THIS YEAR, 453 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,631 OR HE'LL GET A STOCKING FULL OF PAIN 454 00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:34,201 AND A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR SUFFERING. 455 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,269 TA! I'M WITTY. 456 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,073 - SLEIGH GEARS ENGAGED. 457 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,741 - DIESEL BATTERIES TO POWER, BABY. 458 00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,176 - TURBINES TO SPEED. 459 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,578 - SOOTHING MASSAGE AVAILABLE ON REQUEST. 460 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:46,613 - THAT'S DISTURBING. 461 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,215 LET OUR EPIC JOURNEY BEGIN. 462 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,250 CHRISTMAS, AWAY! 463 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:53,886 [animals cheering] 464 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:56,356 [brakes screeching] 465 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:57,924 - HUH? - THE FARMER'S HOUSE? 466 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,792 - OF COURSE; HE'S BEEN VERY GOOD THIS YEAR. 467 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,161 COME ON. LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK. 468 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,799 WE'RE DOING GREAT, PEOPLE. 469 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:07,800 NOW, LET'S QUIETLY-- 470 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,102 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 471 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:10,237 [gasps] 472 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,039 - OH, CHRISTMAS MILK. 473 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,740 - EEE! 474 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,175 IT'S SANTA! IT'S SANTA! 475 00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:16,276 IT'S SANTA... 476 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:17,644 - YES, I AM. 477 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,280 WOW, YOU'RE NOT WRONG. OKAY. 478 00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:21,448 WELL, VERY EXCITED. 479 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:22,515 clang! 480 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:23,783 - [snoring] 481 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,885 - FREDDY! - WELL, WE ARE ON A SCHEDULE. 482 00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:28,321 - TRUE. 483 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,723 SLEEP WELL, SHORT, SOCIALLY AWKWARD MAN-CHILD. 484 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,093 TO THE NEXT HOUSE! 485 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,396 - THEN OTIS AND FRIENDS FLEW OFF LIKE A SHOT. 486 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:39,066 THEY DELIVERED THE PRESENTS. THEY DELIVERED THE LOT. 487 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,868 THEY LEFT ONE FOR THE MAYOR AND ONE FOR THE COP. 488 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:45,205 THEY LEFT PRESENTS FOR BIGFOOT AND BIGFOOT'S OLD POP. 489 00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:47,107 HE GAVE NORA JIMTIGGERS. 490 00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:48,475 HILLY GOT A BUMFUZZLE. 491 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:51,778 AND OTHERS GOT WHOOZITS AND WOM-TOMMITY-TUZZLES. 492 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,813 OH, THIS STORY IS DELIGHTFUL. 493 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,582 I SAY, AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE, 494 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,217 DOES THIS MOLE LOOK INFECTED? 495 00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:58,285 I'M RATHER ALARMED. 496 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,986 OOH, IT ITCHES TERRIBLY. 497 00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:02,789 AND THE OOZING, OH, MY. 498 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,757 - OKAY, YOU KNOW THE DRILL. - GET IN THE RUG. 499 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,259 - WHAT? I'M JUST SAYING. 500 00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,328 MAYBE THERE'S AN OINTMENT OR A POULTICE FOR IT. 501 00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,097 [all talking] 502 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,498 - WHOA! 503 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,865 - AND NOW BACK TO THE SHOW. 504 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,501 - HEY, THAT'S MY LINE! 505 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,803 DO I GO DOWN TO WHERE YOU WORK AND DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO? 506 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,972 - I-- - BACK TO THE SHOW! 507 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,242 - HERE WE ARE, THE LAST HOUSE OF THE NIGHT. 508 00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:24,010 - OTIS, THIS IS SNOTTY BOY'S HOUSE. 509 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,179 - ARMING LASER ROCKETS. 510 00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:27,514 - FIRE AT WILL! 511 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,416 - NO, GUYS, WE HAVE TO DELIVER PRESENTS 512 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:30,683 TO EVERYONE IN THE COUNTY. 513 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,152 - OR CHRISTMAS IS FAHRVERGNUEGEN. 514 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:33,620 - NO, NO, NO, IT'S KERFLECTEN-NOODLE. 515 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:34,754 - NO, IT'S SCHNITZEL-GRUBER. 516 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:35,822 - I THINK IT'S GLOCKENSPIEL. 517 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,290 - THOSE WORDS ARE HUGE. 518 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,725 - IT'S KERFUFTENZEIGER. 519 00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,127 all: OH! 520 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:42,395 - JA, LEARNING IS FUN. 521 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,030 - SO GIFT ME UP. WHAT'S HE GETTING? 522 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:45,398 - LET'S SEE. 523 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,267 IT SAYS SNOTTY BOY'S BEEN VERY NAUGHTY THIS YEAR, 524 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,569 SO HE GETS OWL POOP. 525 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:50,837 - OWL POOP? WE DIDN'T BRING ANY-- 526 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,572 - HERE YOU GO. 527 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,774 WHAT? I KNOW A GUY. 528 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,443 - OTIS, HURRY. 529 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,178 YOU'VE ONLY GOT TWO MINUTES TO DELIVER SNOTTY'S PRESENT. 530 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,279 - NO PROBLEM. 531 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:00,747 PIP AND I WILL HANDLE THIS. 532 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:04,151 - THIS IS HILLY BURFORD WITH BREAKING HOLIDAY NEWS. 533 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,685 CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ALL OVER THE WORLD 534 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,421 APPEAR TO BE FADING FOR NO APPARENT REASON. 535 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:11,758 COULD THIS BE THE END OF CHRISTMAS AS WE KNOW IT? 536 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,726 THIS UPDATE HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU 537 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,695 BY THE GOOD PEOPLE OF HOOBERMAN'S BAKERY. 538 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:19,399 HOOBERMAN'S: YOU GOTTA EAT SOMETHIN'. 539 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,172 - IT'S OKAY. 540 00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,573 I THINK THE COAST IS--WHOA! 541 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:27,640 - WHY? 542 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:30,677 [ominous music] 543 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:33,780 * * 544 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:37,083 - SO, FAT MAN, WE MEET AGAIN. 545 00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:39,252 HO, HO, HO! 546 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:43,190 I USUALLY SAY, "HA," BUT I CHANGED IT TO "HO" 547 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:46,626 'CAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS AND I'M CLEVER! 548 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:49,262 - OH, NOW, MY GOOD LAD, LET SANTA DOWN 549 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,097 SO I CAN GIVE YOU YOUR PRESENT. 550 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:53,200 - STUFF A FRUITCAKE IN IT, OLD MAN. 551 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,867 I'M IN CHARGE HERE. 552 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,604 - I WARN YOU, MY POSSE OF NINJA ELVES IS RIGHT OUTSIDE. 553 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,572 THEY'LL BE ON YOU ANY SECOND NOW. 554 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:00,640 - GOT ANY THREES? 555 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:01,808 - GO FISH. 556 00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,976 - WHO FEELS LIKE THAI FOOD? 557 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,479 - ANY--UH, ANY SECOND NOW. 558 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,080 [whirring down] 559 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,983 - OTIS, THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ARE FADING FAST. 560 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:16,022 - THIS BAG BETTER HAVE A RED RIDER B.B. TASER IN IT, 561 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:19,226 OR YOU WILL BE SORRY. 562 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,463 OWL POOP. 563 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:25,898 SAME AS LAST YEAR. 564 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:30,837 [tauntingly] I'LL BE BACK. 565 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,872 - OTIS, WE GOT TO PUT THAT PRESENT UNDER THE TREE, 566 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,140 OR CHRISTMAS IS GLOCKENSPIEL. 567 00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:37,076 - KERFUFTENZEIGER. 568 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,245 - 15 SECONDS. 569 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,247 TRY TO GNAW US OUT. - RIGHT. 570 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,549 - LUCKY YOU. 571 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:46,152 YOU HAVE A DATE WITH THE WHACKING STICK. 572 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:47,654 [high-pitched yell] 573 00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,258 - WHOA! 574 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,259 - 10 SECONDS. 575 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,294 - HUH? 576 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,028 - HEY, WAIT-- 577 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,035 - HIYAH! - HIYAH! 578 00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:05,405 - HEY, LOOK, MISTLETOE. - SO? 579 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,008 [screams] 580 00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:11,611 BEARD KISS! GET IT OFF ME! 581 00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:33,566 [people cheering] 582 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:34,601 - OTIS, YOU DID IT! 583 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:35,635 YOU SAVED CHRISTMAS. 584 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:39,205 - HA...HA...HA. 585 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,707 [yells] 586 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:41,641 - [screams] 587 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,879 together: SANTA! 588 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:47,914 - HO, HO, HO! 589 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,483 I'M BACK, BABY. 590 00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:53,653 - TWO STUPID SANTAS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE. 591 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,154 YOU'RE BOTH DEAD MEAT. 592 00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,762 HEY, WHERE AM I? 593 00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:06,165 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, STUPID BEAR? 594 00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:07,734 - [growls] 595 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,636 - "OH, LOOK AT ME. 596 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:12,405 "I'M A STUPID POLAR BEAR. 597 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:13,573 "I'M SO SCARY. 598 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,408 WATCH ME ROAR-ROAR." 599 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,176 ROAR-ROAR! ROAR-ROAR! 600 00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:19,178 - [roars fiercely] 601 00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,413 - [screams] 602 00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:28,187 - AND SO IN HONOR OF YOUR SAVING CHRISTMAS, 603 00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:32,659 I HEREBY APPOINT YOU ALL HONORARY REINDEER. 604 00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,527 - HEY, LOOK AT THIS. - CHECK US OUT. 605 00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:35,595 - COOL. - LAY IT ON ME, SANTA. 606 00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:36,796 - UH... 607 00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:38,431 - WELL, I'M OUT OF HERE. 608 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,733 DONNER, BLITZEN, LET'S DO THIS THING. 609 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:41,834 - GOOD TRIP BACK! - BYE, SANTA. 610 00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,370 - WE LOVE YOU! 611 00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:44,371 - BYE-BYE. - STAY COOL, Y'ALL. 612 00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:45,638 - FANTASTISCH TO MEET YOU. 613 00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,940 - HEY, SANTA, LET'S DO THIS AGAIN NEXT YEAR. 614 00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:50,009 - UH, WELL, IT'S POSSIBLE. 615 00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:51,944 LET ME CHECK MY SCHED-- REINDEER AWAY! 616 00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:55,582 [hooves squealing] 617 00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,083 - BYE-BYE! - BYE, SANTA! 618 00:21:57,149 --> 00:22:00,487 - BYE! 619 00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:04,924 - WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING WORKED OUT QUITE NICELY. 620 00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:06,426 [glass shatters and bird chatters] 621 00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:08,094 NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE CLOSE THINGS OUT 622 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,730 WITH A JOYOUS HOLIDAY ARMPIT CAROL? 623 00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:12,699 * DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY * 624 00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,767 [armpit squelching] 625 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:15,835 - THERE HE IS! 626 00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:17,169 - ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 627 00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:19,406 I'LL GET IN THE RUG. 628 00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:20,740 - ACTUALLY, WE WERE GOING TO ASK YOU TO STAY. 629 00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:22,074 - REALLY? 630 00:22:22,141 --> 00:22:23,443 - YEAH, YOU'RE KIND OF GROWING ON US. 631 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:24,777 - YEAH. PLUS, YOU'RE ALL OUT OF RUGS. 632 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:25,978 - OH, BLESS US! 633 00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:28,014 BLESS US, EVERY ONE. 634 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,148 - COME ON, EVERYBODY. 635 00:22:29,215 --> 00:22:30,783 ARMPIT CAROL! 636 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,919 all: * DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY * 637 00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:35,422 [armpits squelching] 638 00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:37,824 * 'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY * 639 00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:40,226 * * 640 00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:42,629 * DON WE NOW OUR GAY APPAREL * 641 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:45,465 - [Santa laughing] 642 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:46,533 [bells jingling] 643 00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:48,901 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 644 00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:55,442 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 645 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:36,215 [kids laughing]