1
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:05,790
(drumroll)
2
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,666
(fanfare playing)
3
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:24,607
(music ends)
4
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:27,039
- (laughter)
- (glass shatters)
5
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:30,482
(mimics monkey, laughing)
6
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,533
♪ Yes, I ride the lightning,
yes, I'm on the go ♪
7
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:40,113
♪ And when I go down slow,
I need more power now ♪
8
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:43,245
♪ It keeps me damn lucky,
yes, it just won't stop ♪
9
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,794
♪ I'm lit to pop, oh yes,
I got the power now ♪
10
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,288
(rock music playing)
11
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,423
♪ I got a secret that I'm gonna tell ♪
12
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,302
♪ I'm feeling power
from the pit of hell, yeah ♪
13
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,558
- ♪ I got something to say ♪
- (siren wailing)
14
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,309
♪ I think I'm gonna say it ♪
15
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,356
♪ The power's flowing,
and it just won't stop ♪
16
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:12,857
(indistinct radio chatter)
17
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:15,565
♪ I touch a woman,
make the flesh burn hot, yeah ♪
18
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:19,364
♪ Want love to spread,
I think I'm gonna spread it ♪
19
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,953
♪ The secret's easy,
now lend me your ear ♪
20
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,997
♪ Don't hesitate,
there's not a thing to fear ♪
21
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,297
♪ Oh yes, I ride the lightning,
yes, I'm on the go ♪
22
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:34,671
♪ And when I go down slow,
I need more power now ♪
23
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,715
♪ It keeps me damn lucky,
yes, it just won't stop ♪
24
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,646
♪ Pm lit to pop,
oh yes, I got the power now ♪
25
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:41,390
Do you know how fast you were going?
26
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,387
- (music continues)
- No, I don't, Officer.
27
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,970
Turn that radio off, please.
28
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,519
That's not the radio.
That's the band practicing.
29
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,021
(sniffing)
30
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,111
ls that marijuana?
31
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,279
(chuckles nervously)
32
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,982
You got a party bowl up there?
33
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,076
Mm, nah.
34
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,910
It's okay, it's okay. ls it good?
35
00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,112
(strained) Mm.
36
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:06,744
Yeah. Open it up!
I'm fucking boarding you!
37
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:10,078
5-0! 5-0 coming on board.
38
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,621
Officer, you can't
just waltz on in here!
39
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:13,956
Do you know who these guys are?
40
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,296
Unplug this shit right now.
41
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,717
(rock music continues playing)
42
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,135
No way.
43
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,759
No fucking way.
44
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,721
♪ I got a secret
that I'm gonna tell ♪
45
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,135
♪ I'm feeling power ♪
46
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,266
♪ From the pit of hell, yeah ♪
47
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:30,268
♪ I got something to say ♪
48
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,066
♪ I think I'm gonna say it... ♪
49
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,152
Holy shit!
50
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:37,169
- (music stops)
- You guys are the highway cops
51
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,031
that got shut down
and became local cops.
52
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,238
Then due to some
kinda crazy "incident"
53
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,361
you got kicked off
of that force,
54
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,615
so you started playing music.
55
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:47,365
And before you knew it,
you won America's Got Talent.
56
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,875
You're Cracklin' Bacon!
57
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,036
What a long,
strange trip it's been.
58
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,545
I love you guys! (chuckling)
59
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,501
Oh, I gotta tell my partner.
60
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,147
He's not gonna believe this!
Okay, hold on.
61
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,562
Dude, you gotta get
over here right now.
62
00:02:58,577 --> 00:02:59,358
MAN (on radio): Copy.
63
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,428
He's gonna shit his pants.
64
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,611
You know what'd be hilarious?
When he comes on the bus,
65
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,112
kick him in the nuts
as hard as you can.
66
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,803
- Really?
- Just drill the guy!
67
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,388
What the hell
is going on in here?
68
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,053
- (groans)
- (all exclaiming)
69
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,979
- (coughing)
- Down he goes!
70
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,898
(laughter)
71
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:17,520
Oh, my God!
You're Cracklin' Bacon!
72
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,605
- Yeah.
- You guys are my favorite band ever!
73
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:22,070
What? You didn't even know
who Cracklin' Bacon was
74
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,215
until I played them for you.
75
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:24,245
Yeah, I did!
76
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,717
Oh, really?
What's your favorite song?
77
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:26,747
"Pulled Pork."
78
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,368
- Yeah? How does it go then?
- Uh...
79
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,371
♪ I'm gonna eat you
like a pulled pork sandwich ♪
80
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,333
♪ Get inside your bread
like a hot steak Manwich ♪
81
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:36,130
(all exclaiming)
82
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,627
This guy's got some pipes!
83
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,634
Hey, how would you like
to join Cracklin' Bacon?
84
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,067
We're looking
for a new lead singer.
85
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,132
Holy shit! (laughing)
86
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,047
Yeah, oh, I can do it
better than him.
87
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,975
♪ I'm gonna eat you
like a pulled pork sandwich ♪
88
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:51,228
♪ Kung Fu you
like a Jackie Chan-wish I
89
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,180
- (all exclaim)
- Not bad.
90
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,858
- (laughs) Yeah.
- You guys clearly have the sound.
91
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,394
But do you have the moves?
Hit it.
92
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,195
(band playing rock music)
93
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,614
- Fist-pumps!
- (all cheering)
94
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,692
- Pelvic thrusts.
- (both puffing)
95
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:05,992
Shake your tail feathers.
96
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,369
- Shake that ass.
- (all cheer)
97
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,379
- Now kiss each other.
- I'm sorry. Come again?
98
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,282
Come on, rock and roll!
Rock and roll, baby!
99
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,780
- WOMAN 1: Do it!
- MEN: Kiss him!
100
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:15,040
(chanting) Kiss him! Kiss him!
Kiss him! Kiss him!
101
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,246
(rock music continues)
102
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,207
(all exclaiming)
103
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:22,088
(laughter)
104
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,510
I knew you were fucking with us.
105
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,803
You're fucking with us, man!
106
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,653
All right, all right.
You guys clearly have
107
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,005
what it takes for rock and roll.
108
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,180
But there's one more test
you gotta pass
109
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,602
before we let you
join Cracklin' Bacon.
110
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:36,357
We wanna know if you can
keep up with Juicy Lucy.
111
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,524
(all exclaim teasingly)
112
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,272
She looks pretty juicy to me.
113
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:40,486
Oh, no, she's in the back.
114
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,362
But I warn you,
she can be quite a handful.
115
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:44,948
Let's go handle that!
116
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,031
ALL (chanting): Juicy Lucy!
Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy!
117
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,367
About to get juicy up in here!
118
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,448
Hey, baby.
119
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:53,828
Hello, Juicy Lucy.
120
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,494
Oh, that's not Lucy.
Lucy's better.
121
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,002
(chuckles) Oh, man!
122
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,797
Fellas, on the other side
of this door
123
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,876
is everlasting fame and glory.
124
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,259
You get the giney,
I'll get the hiney.
125
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,638
(beeps)
126
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,267
Say hello to Lucy! (yells)
127
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,102
(both groan)
128
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,265
Move it or lose it!
It's time to cruise it!
129
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,440
Let's do it!
130
00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:19,527
(tires screech)
131
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,234
Motherfucker!
132
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,403
(band playing rock music)
133
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,448
♪ I got a secret that I'm gonna tell ♪"
134
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,868
♪ I'm feeling power
from the pit of hell, yeah...♪
135
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:30,955
(laughing)
136
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,655
- Son-of-a-bitch!
- Crap damnit!
137
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,825
We sang our hearts off
for those guys. Our hearts!
138
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,307
- (siren wailing)
- ♪ The power's flowing ♪
139
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,793
"♪ And it just won't stop ♪"
140
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,019
♪ I touch a woman,
make the flesh burn hot... ♪
141
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,164
THORNY: We got company.
142
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,341
- ♪ Yeah, want love to spread ♪
- (all exclaiming)
143
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,714
♪ I think I'm gonna spread it' ♪
144
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:47,805
(laughing)
145
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,430
♪ The secret's easy... ♪
146
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,258
Can't outrun the law,
motherfucker!
147
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:56,353
♪ Don't hesitate, there's not
a thing to fear, oh yes...♪
148
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,056
Fuck you, Cracklin' Bacon!
149
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,359
Whoa!
150
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:01,735
(tires screeching)
151
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,644
♪ It keeps me damn lucky... ♪
152
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,460
- (officers screaming)
- ♪ Yes, it just won't stop ♪
153
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,651
♪ I'm lit to pop ♪
154
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:07,856
Oh, shit!
155
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,819
(all exclaiming)
156
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:13,450
Motherfucker.
157
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,323
Eat it. Eat it.
Eat it. Eat it.
158
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,874
- (gunshots)
- Hey!
159
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,747
- (gunshots continue)
- (shouting)
160
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,169
Ah.
161
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,801
(all cheering)
162
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,629
Suck these fucking bullets, bitch!
163
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,179
- (gunshots)
- (glass shatters)
164
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,175
(gasps and whimpers)
165
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,590
- (glass shatters)
- (music stops)
166
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,309
Oh, shit! Mac. Hey,
stay with me. Stay with me.
167
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:43,271
(wheezing) We almost got
those stupid cops...
168
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,727
(chuckles)
169
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,733
- ...to kiss.
- Shit.
170
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,281
(screaming)
171
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,451
What's that?
172
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,664
What the--
173
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,864
Whoa! (yells)
174
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,952
(officers shrieking)
175
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:07,885
Shit!
176
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,876
(sighs)
177
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:11,719
Hey-
178
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,385
I still love those guys.
179
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,425
Yeah, they're cool as hell.
(chuckles)
180
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,554
I mean, look at him.
181
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:18,896
Still cool.
182
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,329
We should probably hide
that body, though.
183
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,359
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
184
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,020
(music resumes)
185
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,601
Hey, great driving, Thorn!
186
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,771
Thorny? Thorny?
187
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,531
Oh, my God! He's dead!
188
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,073
- (exclaims)
- Ha-ha!
189
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,525
- Aha!
- I got you, motherfucker!
190
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,985
(laughter)
191
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,492
- I'm not dead! I'm alive!
- He's alive!
192
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:39,375
Look out!
193
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,408
Holy fuck!
194
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,789
(all yelling)
195
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,121
(all screaming)
196
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,046
- (grunts)
- (screaming continues)
197
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,252
(shouts)
198
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,427
- Ahhh!
- (yelping)
199
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,179
(shouts maniacally)
200
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,140
(both screaming)
201
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,896
(sighs)
202
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,224
You sleeping, baby boy?
203
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,559
No, I'm just checking out
the ceiling, Farva.
204
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,064
Good work up there.
205
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,987
All right, pull out your caulk
and let's go.
206
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,074
What'?
207
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,616
Let's go! I'm standing here
with my caulk in my hand.
208
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,257
Grab your caulk,
let's put it in the holes!
209
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,327
- Come on, let me see that big caulk.
- Oh, shut up.
210
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,704
Show me your Rabbit caulk!
211
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:20,951
You know what's funny, Farva?
212
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,332
You've made that joke 400 times
213
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,534
and it still sucks.
214
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,245
Fuck you, Mac. You don't talk
to your site supervisor like that.
215
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,103
That's one demerit
on your permanent record.
216
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,420
(gasps) On my permanent
construction record?
217
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,107
That's right. You want
another one, keep it up.
218
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,525
Give me another
and I'll pinch your dick.
219
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,360
- That's two. You want to go for three?
- Okay.
220
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,256
Bingo! You got it!
You want another one?
221
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,840
- Pretty, pretty please.
- You got it!
222
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,407
- You want another one?
- I'll take them all!
223
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,837
That's seven!
You want another one?!
224
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,432
- Give me ten!
- Bingo!
225
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,558
Mac!
226
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,855
Stop.
227
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:49,852
You mess with the bull,
you get covered in bullshit.
228
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,937
(chewing loudly)
229
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,075
- What a tool.
- Yeah.
230
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,701
I had the craziest dream.
231
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,158
Who were the cops this time?
232
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,617
Stifler and Damon Wayans Jr.
233
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:02,791
Did they almost kiss?
234
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,166
Yeah. Yeah.
Almost got them to.
235
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,620
- (country music ringtone plays)
- ♪ Hoisting another glass ♪
236
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:08,714
Uh, hello.
237
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:11,419
- Morning, Mac!
- Good morning, Uncle Argyle.
238
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,716
Code names? ls Farva nearby?
239
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,544
Oh, yeah. Spitting distance.
240
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,925
Do me a favor,
Spackle his mouth shut.
241
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,180
MAC (laughs):
Okay, will do.
242
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:22,259
So, change of location for
this weekend's fishing trip.
243
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,019
Just over the Canadian border.
244
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,846
Oh, sweet! I love Canada.
245
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,898
(chuckles) Good one!
I'll mail you the address.
246
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,771
What, like with a stamp?
Just text me.
247
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:34,526
Text? Oh, you mean like,
uh, mail text? Yeah.
248
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,490
I do believe I have
that facility on this phone.
249
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:39,322
Okay, will do.
250
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,217
That's it. I'm teaching you
how to text this weekend.
251
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,802
- No personal calls, Mac.
- What the fuck?
252
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,119
- Whoop.
- Oh, God damn it, Farva.
253
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,286
- I told you no personal calls.
- It was a sales call.
254
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:49,659
Oh, yeah?
What were they selling?
255
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,603
Ooh, was it canned salmon?
I love canned salmon.
256
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,563
It's better than tuna,
you know. It's a salty fish.
257
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,628
I like a salty fish.
258
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,335
Like a grouper
or maybe a branzino.
259
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,553
Something that really
jerks off your blood pressure.
260
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,879
You know what's salty? Turtle.
You ever had turtle before?
261
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,678
Saltiest part'? The shell.
262
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,824
What do I have to say to get
you to end this conversation?
263
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,294
You could say,
"The guy on the phone"
264
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,767
"was trying to sell me
hard dicks.""
265
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,704
The guy on the phone was
trying to sell me hard dicks.
266
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,566
I bet you bought
a baker's dozen. (laughs)
267
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:12,734
Let's lay some caulk!
268
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:15,438
I got fresh caulk, everybody!
Hot caulk here.
269
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,693
Who wants caulk?
270
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,033
MAC: He really wants to leave
right from work, huh?
271
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,862
RABBIT: He said,
"Real men travel light."
272
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,788
(grunting)
273
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,920
God, he looks ridiculous.
274
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,134
No, I think
he looks pretty cool.
275
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,488
Like the Brawny Paper Towel Guy.
276
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:46,010
See, I was gonna say
the Bombay Paper Towel Guy.
277
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,104
RABBIT: Hey, Thorn.
278
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,646
Hey. Job sucks.
It's all sap and splinters.
279
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:50,767
(Mac laughs)
280
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,566
Now it smells like Bombay.
You wanna put
281
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:53,772
- that shirt back on?
- Whew!
282
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,940
Breathe it in, little fella.
283
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,444
That's the smell
of a mountain man.
284
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,946
Right. Okay, what time you due
back at the hobo zoo?
285
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,319
- (laughs)
- (siren chirps)
286
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,029
Hey, hey!
287
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,616
What's up, guys?
Nice ride!
288
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:09,791
RABBIT: Hey, Chief.
289
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,118
Son of a bitch.
290
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,704
- Ta-da!
- MEN: Hey!
291
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,004
What's up, Foster?
292
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,415
He is all yours.
293
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,671
I'm tired of him riding
in my sidecar anyway.
294
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,161
That's not what
you said last night.
295
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,901
OFFICER (on radio):
Chief, we have a '214
296
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,262
out at the Shuck n' Rack Motel.
297
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,384
Officer needs guidance.
298
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,281
- I'll be right there.
- OFFICER (on radio): Copy.
299
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,911
(sighs) I wish you guys
didn't get fired.
300
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,433
We weren't fired.
We were invited to resign.
301
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,976
- Ah.
- Ooh, I like that.
302
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,812
No, you were fired. There was
that ride-along gone wrong.
303
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,735
Then you were fired.
304
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:38,345
We'll just have to agree
to disagree.
305
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,273
All right.
Well, you fellas have fun.
306
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,942
Just get him back
in one piece, all right?
307
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,282
With the rod. I'm gonna
need it next weekend.
308
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:47,372
- Hello!
- Okay.
309
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,572
That's my girl.
310
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,031
All right, boys, let's go fishing.
311
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,018
THORNY: And the beauty is,
the black is so black
312
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,163
that it's really blue.
313
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,998
I mean,
it's really midnight blue.
314
00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,758
Ah, just like the old days, huh?
315
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,259
Driving around the countryside,
316
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,906
listening to Thorny
talk about his dick.
317
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,736
- I miss the old days.
- RABBIT: That's bullshit, man.
318
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,382
That Fred Savage thing
was not our fault.
319
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,058
Actors shouldn't do ride-alongs.
320
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,699
Actors shouldn't even
try to play cops.
321
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,329
I mean, (scoffs)
they never get it right.
322
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,397
(laughter)
323
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,900
- Hey there.
- How you doin'?
324
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,315
Good. You boys here
for business or pleasure?
325
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,893
- Just going fishing.
- Good timing.
326
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,697
You'll be up to yer tits
in the walleye.
327
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,904
I caught one last week.
Was seven kilograms.
328
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,033
Is that big?
329
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,536
Is that big? That's like nine
decimeters from tip to tail.
330
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,832
- You a jigger man?
- What did you call me?
331
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,185
Well, I like to use
the jigger rod
332
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:38,535
for when I'm catching
the walleye.
333
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,812
But of course
when you're doing that
334
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:40,752
you gotta run extra light.
335
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,959
Unless you're someone like
you there in the back.
336
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,735
- What are you, a bodybuilder?
- (chuckles) No.
337
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,506
What do you bench?
Wait, don't tell me.
338
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,090
I don't want you
to embarrass me.
339
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,681
But I would like two tickets
to your gun show. (laughs)
340
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:55,230
You guys are good to go.
Sorry to hold ya up.
341
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:58,604
- Let them go!
- MAC: Thanks! Take it easy.
342
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,561
(in Canadian accent)
Typical Canadian hardass.
343
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,836
(in Canadian accent) "Sorry.
I'm really sorry. Sorry."
344
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,573
(in Canadian accent)
"Oh, so sorry."
345
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,715
(in Canadian accent) Hey,
fellas, any chance you can
346
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,702
come over to the house later
and play some Sorry?
347
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,034
MAC: Sure.
How "aboot" nine o'clock?
348
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,949
THORNY: Ooh,
nine o'clock doesn't work.
349
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,374
- Sorry about that.
- (laughter)
350
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,225
MAC (in normal tone):
French ones are the worst. Ha!
351
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,246
(in French accent) Would you
like some ratatouille
352
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,547
with your pain Du chocolat?
353
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:25,052
Oui, oui! I'm gonna get
some jambon et fromage.
354
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,424
(laughter)
355
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,347
THORNY: This can't be it.
356
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,114
MAC: Well, this is the address
Cap sent me.
357
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,636
Although he did just learn
how to text.
358
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,144
Now what would compel somebody
359
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,471
to throw a tire up on the roof?
360
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,009
FOSTER: What, you never played
"Throw the Tire on the Roof"?
361
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,457
MAC (laughs): No, is that the kind
of shit you guys played in Rutland?
362
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,694
FOSTER: Sure. Never got
"tired" of that game.
363
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,281
(flies buzzing)
364
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,157
FOSTER: Uh, we are in
the wrong place.
365
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,918
O'HAGAN:
No. You're in the right place.
366
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,184
MAC: What's the deal with the creepy,
remote shithole, Cap?
367
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,811
You gonna make us put
the lotion in the basket?
368
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,331
No, I've got a surprise for you.
369
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,800
I didn't tell you up front
'cause you tend to be
370
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,969
a bunch of wide-mouth bassholes.
371
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:12,428
Well, then, why don't you let
me reel in these fish, John?
372
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,388
THORNY: Governor Jessman?
373
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:15,842
Hey, I didn't see the motorcade.
374
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,430
- We're keeping my visit quiet.
- Mm.
375
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,787
(chuckles)
Oh, Cappy, you dirty dog.
376
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,228
Show some respect, Mac!
377
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,315
- Sorry.
- I'm here on official business.
378
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,526
We've got
an intriguing situation
379
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,448
going on in these parts.
380
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,151
JESSMAN: With all the heat
on immigration these days,
381
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,735
the U.S. has been
going through
382
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,116
a border reassessment.
383
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,040
It turns out that some
of the original stone markers
384
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,163
that delineated
America from Canada
385
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,078
weren't where
we thought they'd be.
386
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,504
Here is where the border was.
387
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:47,588
But here is where
we found the stone markers.
388
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,299
So this town,
St. Georges Du Laurent,
389
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,131
and the area surrounding it,
390
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,219
are actually on American soil.
391
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,429
So we're going to war?
392
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,932
(in Canadian accent) Ah, gee,
that'd be a quick one, eh?
393
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,228
(all laugh)
394
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,870
(in normal tone)
No. After negotiations,
395
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,436
they've agreed
to turn the land over.
396
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:03,688
Vermont's about to get
397
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,485
- a little more head room.
- RABBIT: Hmm.
398
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,061
So, it was up to me to find
399
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,568
a temporary police force
to help with the transition.
400
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,860
A group of officers
familiar with the border area,
401
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:16,655
experienced in patrolling
a stretch of highway.
402
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,700
Guys who maybe caught a bad
break the last time around?
403
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,915
So, you fellas want
a crack at your old jobs?
404
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,246
(all cheering)
405
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:28,754
Easy, you hooligans!
I'm a senior citizen!
406
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,260
And if this two-week
assignment goes well,
407
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,883
I might be able
to make it permanent.
408
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,973
Trust us. It'll go well.
409
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,508
And who are you?
410
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,677
Oh, I'm one of the cops.
411
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,326
We picked him up
outside of Home Depot.
412
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,356
Fantastic.
413
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,312
You'll be phasing out
a Canadian Mountie unit.
414
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,396
We lined up a meet and greet
with them tomorrow.
415
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:47,487
(car horn honking)
416
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,196
Oh, yeah!
417
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,528
I wanted to make sure you had
your full team back,
418
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,359
so I tracked down
your other guy too.
419
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,652
(sighs) No fucking way.
420
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,026
- (door opens)
- O'HAGAN: Oh, no.
421
00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,119
Sorry I'm late.
Hit a moose doing 90.
422
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,120
- Vaporized the beyotch!
- (O'Hagan sighs)
423
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,766
You know they have
Eskimo hookers up here?
424
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,582
When they have sex,
they really get "lnuit."
425
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,084
(laughs) Pele'!
426
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:08,341
(groans)
427
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,426
MAC: God damn it.
428
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,386
Farva, you fuck.
429
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:12,919
Back in business!
430
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:15,005
- (rock music playing)
- (trimmer whirring)
431
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,954
Bullshit! Who ordered these?
I can't feel my tits!
432
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,122
(all laugh)
433
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:05,524
Hey!
434
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:06,973
Desk buddies, guy?
435
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,991
Are you positive
you want to quit your old job?
436
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,894
I mean, Construction Supervisor.
437
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,070
And give up the chance
to crack some Canuck melons?
438
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,898
I don't think so, bro-haim.
439
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,654
♪ Welcome to the Fart Zone ♪
440
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,467
- (blows raspberry)
- FOSTER: Body armor, check.
441
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,204
Tactical flashlights. Why not?
442
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,115
Ooh, heat vision goggles.
Check.
443
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,499
Why would we need those?
444
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:26,849
Uh, we're in Canada now, Rabbit.
445
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,559
What if we have to find
somebody in the snow?
446
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,644
Uh, there is snow in Vermont.
447
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,256
Okay, I'm the "order stuff" guy.
448
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:32,548
You do your thing. All right?
449
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,052
Okay.
450
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,338
One yellow safety vest
for Rabbit.
451
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,806
Woo! A roving
GPS triangulator.
452
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,218
Triangulator? Get a load
of James Bond over here.
453
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,552
(laughs sarcastically)
454
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,854
Another yellow safety vest
for Thorny.
455
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,541
Thorn, Thorn, Thorn,
Thorn. Thorn, Thorn.
456
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:52,147
Ram. Rod. Ram. Rod. Ramrod.
You're out, he's in.
457
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,405
Okay.
458
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,439
O'HAGAN:
Hey, place looks great!
459
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,047
MAC: What have you
been cleaning, Cap?
460
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,034
I'll clean your clock
if you don't watch out.
461
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:01,569
Okay, let's get started.
462
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,121
Don't push it, Mac.
463
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,657
Get started
doing some pullovers?
464
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:06,973
No, we're not doing
your pullovers.
465
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,164
Everything'll be by the book.
466
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,171
Everything!
467
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,549
Cap, you know how hard
I worked on this thing?
468
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,218
Big face, big mustache.
469
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,108
I don't care how big
your face is. Shave it!
470
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,140
FARVA: Cap, Cap, Cap!
471
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,224
I'm good, right?
472
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,300
I got a tight mouth-muff.
(exhales)
473
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:25,886
- Talk about big faces.
- That's face-ism, Cap.
474
00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,895
Not regulation! Shave it!
475
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,937
Right! Let's go
and see some Mounties.
476
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:34,691
(chuckles) Remember the three
B's: Best Behavior, Boys.
477
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:39,527
MAN:
Hey.
478
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,449
- How's it going?
- Feels like 1983 in here.
479
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,391
(in Canadian accent)
Oh, there they are.
480
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,074
I am Mayor Guy LeFranc.
481
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,168
Mayor of Saint Georges
Du Laurent, Canada!
482
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,454
Or, as it's about to be known:
483
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:55,290
St. George of Lawrence,
America. (chuckles)
484
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,800
I don't know. I'm not so good
with American. Welcome.
485
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,094
Uh, the Guy LeFranc?
486
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,061
From the Montreal Canadiens
Minor League system?
487
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,633
The leading scorer
of the Halifax Bear Eaters?
488
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,471
Eighth most points
in CHL history.
489
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,683
Yeah, I know. Two points
behind Shotti Fitznugly.
490
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:09,856
Look at this guy!
491
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:10,940
I love hockey.
492
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,598
Your nickname, um,
493
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,332
don't tell me,
it was, uh, "The Explosion."
494
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,023
"The Halifax Explosion."
495
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:18,154
Named after the single greatest
496
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,402
man-made explosion
before Hiroshima.
497
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,283
It was 1917,
498
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:23,909
ship laden with dynamite
499
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,078
crashed into another ship
in Halifax Harbor.
500
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,784
Tremendous explosion
and loss of life.
501
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,518
Burned people's eyes out
with the blast.
502
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,117
Many were blinded by the light.
503
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,212
Like the song says.
504
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,963
And a First Nations tribe
was lost.
505
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,479
Probably would've
happened to them anyway,
506
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,149
but it kind of moved up
the timetable, eh?
507
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,757
So, I am the second biggest
explosion from Halifax.
508
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:42,931
But enough about me.
509
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,180
Meet the Mounties. Guys!
510
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,258
GUY:
Guys, come on over here.
511
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,932
This here is Sergeant Major
Roger Archambault.
512
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:53,565
This is Staff Sergeant Major
Henri Podien,
513
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:56,021
and Sergeant
Christophe Bellefuille.
514
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,230
Total gobbledygook.
515
00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:00,279
I'm John O'Hagan.
This is Rod Farva,
516
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,316
Robbie Roto, Carl Foster,
Maclntyre Womack
517
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,993
and Arcot Ramathorn.
518
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,573
Ç'est les de bordelle..
519
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,613
(mounties laugh)
520
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:09,994
I'll let you guys chew the cud.
521
00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:11,722
Why don't we go fuck off
to the other room here?
522
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,242
- Yeah, sure.
- (door opens)
523
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:14,713
(door closes)
524
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:18,165
I'm gonna get a Schlitz!
That's American for beer.
525
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,427
So, you do guys
ride horses or...
526
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,027
(in Canadian accent)
Yeah, this isn't 1957.
527
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,547
We drive Crown Victorias.
528
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,433
Hey, us too.
You get a little soup in them,
529
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,635
they can really rip
your knob off. Am I right?
530
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,891
(Spits)
531
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,938
(in French accent)
We hear about you guy, heh?
532
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:37,066
Because first, you get your
highway station shut down.
533
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,977
And then, you get kick out
534
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,529
from your second job
because of this, uh,
535
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:43,906
Fred Savage thing.
536
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,047
(in French accent) "Savage."
537
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,784
(in normal tone)
Makes it sound intriguing.
538
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,592
BELLEFUILLE (in Canadian
accent): So, what are you
539
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,363
going to do here?
Go for the hat trick?
540
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,789
(mounties laughing)
541
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,556
We're actually hoping
to hold on to these jobs.
542
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,586
(troopers chuckle)
543
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,411
What are you guys
doing after the turnover?
544
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,331
Oh, they're transferring us
up to Labrador City.
545
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,425
- Oh!
- Cool.
546
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,491
It's cool, all right.
Average winter
547
00:21:02,506 --> 00:21:04,719
temperature is minus
18 degrees Celsius!
548
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:07,013
All you have to do to convert
549
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:10,217
is times two, add 32 and join
the rest of the human race.
550
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:11,394
Hey, Rookie,
551
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:12,950
they got non-alcoholic Molsons
over here.
552
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,221
Want me to get you
a half carafe? (laughs)
553
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:18,312
Oh, we got a rookie there?
They shave your nuts yet?
554
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,318
Canadian tradition says
you got to shave
555
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,190
the rook's nuts,
otherwise it's bad luck.
556
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:23,854
- You don't say?
- Bad luck?
557
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,398
I'm actually not a rookie--
558
00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,131
Which one of you guys
has least seniority?
559
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,243
- (troopers mumble)
- I mean, technically I--
560
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:30,619
(chuckles)
Shave this guy ball!
561
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,413
Come on, shave both of his ball.
562
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:33,535
(mounties coaxing)
563
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,163
- Shave your ball, your dick.
- (all laughing)
564
00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,585
(in French accent) Hello,
hello! Welcome to Canada.
565
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:40,417
I'm Genevieve Aubois,
566
00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,966
Cultural Attaché
of Saint Georges Du Laurent.
567
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,376
I will see that
things go smoothly
568
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:46,802
in the next few weeks.
569
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,054
And please,
if you have any questions,
570
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,723
don't hesitate to ask.
571
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:53,269
(smacks lips)
572
00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:56,638
Keep heading north, big fella.
573
00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,645
You don't look at the mantel
when you're poking the fire.
574
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:02,227
Right, guys? You know what
I'm saying, right? (laughs)
575
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:06,110
Okay. Well, they are waiting
for us in the other room.
576
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,282
So, please, suivez-moi.
577
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,243
Who is waiting where?
578
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:13,821
(indistinct chatter)
579
00:22:13,916 --> 00:22:16,078
(marching drums playing)
580
00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:24,424
Boy, I didn't know the whole
town was gonna be here.
581
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:30,922
(mic feedback)
582
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,132
Welcome, thanks for coming.
583
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:36,929
America got tired of
the noise up here...
584
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,604
so they called the cops!
585
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:39,772
- (chuckles)
- Oh.
586
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:40,974
(all laughing)
587
00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,308
It's about my mustache, right?
588
00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:43,683
They're laughing at my mustache?
589
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:46,567
Please, let's give a big
Canadian welcome
590
00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:49,240
to the Vermont Highway Patrol.
591
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,492
(crowd booing)
592
00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:53,369
GUY:
Hey, hey, everyone! Come on, guys.
593
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,344
They've come up here
to tell us how great it's gonna be
594
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,694
for all of us
to become Americans.
595
00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:58,661
So, let them speak. Captain?
596
00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:01,498
Uh... (clears throat)
597
00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,705
- Bonsoir.
- (mic feedback)
598
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:07,667
You know, this reminds me
of the story of the rabbi,
599
00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:10,803
the priest,
and the Hindu in a canoe.
600
00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:12,338
WOMAN: Go blow yourself!
601
00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:13,673
(laughter)
602
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,383
I'm Captain John O'Hagan. I--
603
00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:17,677
MAN:
Yeah, eat it, you old donkey!
604
00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:18,886
(laughter)
605
00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:21,393
Hey, easy. Hey, look, look.
606
00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:23,349
Technically,
we're all Americans, right?
607
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,143
North Americans.
608
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,228
Very little is gonna change
around here.
609
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,919
Oh, yeah, right!
You're probably gonna tell us
610
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:30,212
we can't listen to Rush anymore!
611
00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,698
Or the Barenaked Ladies!
612
00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:34,072
- (angry chatter)
- Hey. Hey. Hey!
613
00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:35,369
People, people.
614
00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,371
I love Rush
and the Barenaked Ladies.
615
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:38,539
You should listen to both.
616
00:23:38,709 --> 00:23:40,575
So, you are telling us
who to listen to!
617
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:41,669
No, no. I'm just--
618
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:42,892
And then that one's
gonna tell us
619
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,287
we have to start
eating tortillas!
620
00:23:44,465 --> 00:23:46,465
- FOSTER: It's a common mistake.
- MAN 1: Bullshit!
621
00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:48,416
Hey! Listen up.
622
00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:50,467
This is America now.
Like it or lump it!
623
00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:52,049
Repeat after me:
624
00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:55,260
I pledge of allegiance
to the flag
625
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,846
of the United States of America.
626
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,103
Learn the words! Learn the words!
627
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,273
Fuck you!
628
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,141
- (groans)
- (crowd clamoring)
629
00:24:06,904 --> 00:24:08,736
(indistinct shouting)
630
00:24:10,032 --> 00:24:11,712
MAN 2: You don't even know
how to play hockey!
631
00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:14,325
(clamoring continues)
632
00:24:14,411 --> 00:24:16,527
I didn't think they'd see us
as an occupying force.
633
00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:17,991
GENEVIEVE: Oh, my God!
Your eye.
634
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:19,451
That might leave a scar.
635
00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:20,763
I was looking too pretty anyway.
636
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:21,908
(chuckles)
637
00:24:22,002 --> 00:24:23,538
I can sew you up at my car.
638
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:24,747
You're a doctor?
639
00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:26,959
No, no. I coach
the girls' hockey team,
640
00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:29,006
so I know my way around a gash.
641
00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:30,802
Are you making a--
642
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:34,508
Oui. A double entendre
for la vagine.
643
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,009
(indistinct shouting)
644
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,306
Let's go, quickly!
645
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,616
THORNY: I thought Canadians
are supposed to be harmless.
646
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:42,432
O'HAGAN: Oh, come on.
Cut them some slack.
647
00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:44,326
They're upset
about losing their identities.
648
00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:47,024
They called you an old donkey.
Doesn't that piss you off?
649
00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:48,480
Well, I don't love it.
650
00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:50,520
Actually, I didn't sleep
at all last night.
651
00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:52,321
But we got a job to do.
652
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,573
- Rabbit, how's your head?
- It's okay.
653
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:58,862
That, uh... Genevieve,
she, uh, patched me up.
654
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,993
(all exclaiming)
655
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:02,083
Oh, please!
656
00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,659
Frenchy had her eyes
on my thighs all night long.
657
00:25:04,837 --> 00:25:05,918
- Yeah.
- Did she, now?
658
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:07,059
FARVA: Oh, yeah?
Keep laughing.
659
00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:09,330
I bet you a buck I bang
the crêpe out of her first.
660
00:25:09,425 --> 00:25:10,540
- (blows raspberry)
- Okay.
661
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,690
Put your money where your mouth's been.
Fuck the buck.
662
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,427
Loser sits on a cactus.
663
00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:16,678
No, loser gets a perm.
664
00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:19,887
No, loser cuts his
pinky-toe off with a shovel.
665
00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:21,115
Take that bet. Take it now.
666
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:23,225
I suggest you take the bet,
Rabbit. Really, honestly.
667
00:25:23,272 --> 00:25:24,353
Please shut up, Farva.
668
00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:25,934
Okay. We have a deal.
669
00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:27,519
You heard it, right?
We have a deal.
670
00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:30,185
Oh, so, this is where they
keep the illegal aliens, huh?
671
00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:32,199
- (Bellefuille chuckles)
- Ah, welcome, Officers!
672
00:25:32,281 --> 00:25:33,737
Welcome to the guys
who stood around
673
00:25:33,824 --> 00:25:35,304
while people threw
hockey pucks at us?
674
00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:36,547
You gonna come up here talking
675
00:25:36,577 --> 00:25:38,113
"all that
“Make America Great" crap,
676
00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:40,904
you're bound to catch a face
full of Canadian tomato.
677
00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:42,367
O'HAGAN:
Okay, okay. Listen up.
678
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,327
Two of you are gonna ride
with the Mounties.
679
00:25:44,418 --> 00:25:46,015
They'll show you where
the bodies are buried.
680
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:47,956
- BOTH: Not it.
- Actually, it is you two.
681
00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:49,047
(chuckles)
682
00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:51,293
It's not our idea
of a good time either, fellas.
683
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,545
Personally, I'd rather
fuck a moose.
684
00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:56,385
You would need a ladder
to do that.
685
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:59,638
Obviously, I would need
a ladder to fuck a moose.
686
00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,675
But I would find one,
and I would fuck that moose.
687
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:03,770
O'HAGAN: Okay!
688
00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:06,137
Thorny, Rabbit,
I got a highway job for you.
689
00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:07,356
O'HAGAN: Let's do it!
690
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:13,276
FARVA: Hey, Cap? Cap?
691
00:26:13,447 --> 00:26:14,653
Whose car do I ride in?
692
00:26:14,823 --> 00:26:16,734
Why don't you stay here with me?
693
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:18,240
Sit over here.
694
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:19,616
That's the radio, though.
695
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,201
Great idea!
696
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:24,531
That way, if a call comes in,
you can answer it.
697
00:26:24,625 --> 00:26:25,865
Huh?
698
00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:27,370
(O'Hagan vocalizing)
699
00:26:27,461 --> 00:26:29,577
Okay, just today, though, okay?
700
00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:32,038
Everyone takes a turn.
It's a new station.
701
00:26:33,342 --> 00:26:34,342
(sighs)
702
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:35,507
Fuckin' radio.
703
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:39,337
What the fuck is this shit?
704
00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:42,598
I mean, it's not gonna
kill him, is it?
705
00:26:42,768 --> 00:26:44,679
I don't know.
Do you want it to kill him?
706
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:47,515
BELLEFUILLE: Allons-y!
707
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:48,966
- (horn honks)
- (shouts in French)
708
00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,269
Just a minute!
709
00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:51,728
Just a, uh...
710
00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:53,734
What's Canadian for "minute"?
711
00:26:53,821 --> 00:26:55,357
(mumbles mockingly)
712
00:26:58,575 --> 00:26:59,736
Ah.
713
00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:01,238
- There they are.
- Okay.
714
00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:03,906
Hm.
715
00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:06,830
(gulping)
716
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:12,503
Are you swallowing M&M's whole?
717
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:15,210
Yeah. The green ones
make me horny.
718
00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:19,127
Why don't you chew them first?
719
00:27:19,221 --> 00:27:21,303
(scoffs) They all go
to the same place, right?
720
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:26,342
(sighs)
721
00:27:26,937 --> 00:27:28,826
FOSTER: (on radio) Hey, Farva,
can I get a radio check?
722
00:27:28,856 --> 00:27:30,392
"(crackling) (yelps)"
723
00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:31,482
(groans)
724
00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:34,980
(both laughing)
725
00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:37,068
Why did you shock
your buddy, buddy?
726
00:27:37,156 --> 00:27:38,738
(laughing)
727
00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:42,533
You know, every job has that
one guy that you love to hate.
728
00:27:42,703 --> 00:27:44,410
Yeah, obnoxious. Oafish.
729
00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:46,867
Oh, you mean like
your typical American?
730
00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:48,163
(both chuckle)
731
00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:52,490
Still waiting
on that radio check.
732
00:27:56,884 --> 00:27:58,545
- (crackling)
- (screams)
733
00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:01,426
FARVA:
Fuckin' shit!
734
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:03,633
This is an awesome assignment.
735
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:06,219
Oh, come on, it's great.
Outside. On duty.
736
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:10,098
Hey, what's 80 kilometers
per hour in English?
737
00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:13,731
I guess
49.7097 miles per hour.
738
00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,687
Uh, I don't think
we have any decimals.
739
00:28:15,861 --> 00:28:17,647
- Do you have a Sharpie?
- Uh, no.
740
00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:20,859
FARVA: (on radio) Unit 23.
Come in, 23. Unit 23. Come in, 23.
741
00:28:21,033 --> 00:28:23,616
Radio, until the turnover,
we have to keep things metric.
742
00:28:23,785 --> 00:28:28,154
So we are now Unit 37.015.
Try again.
743
00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:29,332
Whatever.
744
00:28:29,499 --> 00:28:32,787
I got a call out
on Rue de Autoroute 77
745
00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,414
or some Frére Jacques bullshit.
746
00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:36,878
There's a gaggle of dead
Canadian Geese on the road.
747
00:28:37,049 --> 00:28:38,960
Yeah, up here, they just
call them geese, Radio.
748
00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:41,273
FARVA: (on radio) Well, in two
weeks, I call them American Geese.
749
00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:42,668
Honk, honk. Go clean them off.
750
00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:46,673
That's a big 16.09-6436,
good buddy.
751
00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:51,185
Ah, ya.
there's the Pancake Shed.
752
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,761
And that's the Flapjack's.
753
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:54,347
Oh, there on the right,
754
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:56,307
that's Gigi's Bait,
Tackle and Pancakes.
755
00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:57,664
But they're really known more
756
00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:59,041
- for their waffles.
- Yeah, they are.
757
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:00,951
Sounds like the Queen
must really love pancakes.
758
00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:02,938
What's that supposed to mean?
759
00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:05,255
FOSTER: Aren't you guys still
ruled by the Queen of England?
760
00:29:05,285 --> 00:29:06,325
She's all over your money.
761
00:29:06,370 --> 00:29:10,113
I'll have you know that
we achieved our independence in 1982.
762
00:29:10,207 --> 00:29:11,447
"Ooh!
Oh!"
763
00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:12,906
- MAC: 1982.
- (Foster chuckles)
764
00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,497
Did Wham! perform
at the ceremony?
765
00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:17,503
Maybe if we had
our independence sooner,
766
00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:19,519
we'd have no gun control,
not believe in evolution
767
00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:22,416
and all be morbidly obese
without healthcare.
768
00:29:24,137 --> 00:29:26,057
BELLEFUILLE: Why don't you
pull in right up here?
769
00:29:26,390 --> 00:29:28,631
Time for you to meet
the local business owners.
770
00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:48,567
Escorts?
771
00:29:48,704 --> 00:29:50,035
BELLEFUILLE:
Here we are, boys.
772
00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:51,738
(indistinct chatter)
773
00:29:51,832 --> 00:29:52,832
(greets in French)
774
00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:58,247
Are we here
to bust up a cathouse?
775
00:29:58,422 --> 00:30:00,504
PODIEN: You can't arrest
people for having boners.
776
00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:01,955
It's legal up here, Yank.
777
00:30:02,134 --> 00:30:04,296
A hockey-themed,
dual-sex bordello.
778
00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:05,482
Do we have that in the U.S.?
779
00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:06,923
I don't know, but put me in, Coach.
780
00:30:07,014 --> 00:30:09,255
Oh, oh! Look who it is!
It's the fuzz.
781
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:10,965
The Mayor hangs out
in a bordello?
782
00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:13,510
No, the Mayor own the bordello.
783
00:30:13,687 --> 00:30:14,722
Here you go, boys.
784
00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:16,429
How about a beer and a tug?
On the house.
785
00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:18,272
- Hey!
- Oh, uh...
786
00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:19,393
Uh, maybe later.
787
00:30:19,568 --> 00:30:21,229
Oh, I understand.
Scram, girls.
788
00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:24,611
- How's it going, eh?
- Yeah, no, no. Maybe later.
789
00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:27,148
You guys! You don't like
women, you don't like men.
790
00:30:27,242 --> 00:30:29,202
What should I get, a
river beaver to pleasure you?
791
00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:30,494
It's a joke.
792
00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:32,217
Their teeth are so sharp,
it'd be horrible.
793
00:30:32,247 --> 00:30:33,287
How can I help you fellas?
794
00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:35,448
Oh, the Yanks want to talk
about their U.S. laws.
795
00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:37,582
You know,
like serving weaker beer
796
00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,410
and shutting down brothels.
797
00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:40,953
GUY:
Shutting down brothels?
798
00:30:41,131 --> 00:30:42,212
Who put you up to this?
799
00:30:42,299 --> 00:30:44,336
Was it Jean-Paul
down at Chez Poontang?
800
00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:45,749
Huh? You guys pulling my chain?
801
00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:46,982
I don't think this is anything
802
00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:48,442
we need to get
too hung up on right now.
803
00:30:48,472 --> 00:30:49,693
I can't believe
down in the States,
804
00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:51,611
it's illegal to have a beer
and enjoy tits and a dick.
805
00:30:51,641 --> 00:30:54,008
I mean, beep beep!
806
00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:55,638
- There's no harm there.
- Oh. Uh...
807
00:30:55,729 --> 00:30:57,640
(gibbering)
808
00:30:57,731 --> 00:30:59,597
- Good workout, eh?
- Wow.
809
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,274
Honestly, Guy, we're not here
to lay down any laws.
810
00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:04,484
We're very sorry if there's
been a misunderstanding.
811
00:31:04,654 --> 00:31:07,396
- "We're sahrry?" "Sahrry."
- (laughter)
812
00:31:07,491 --> 00:31:08,777
(crowd mimics Mac mockingly)
813
00:31:09,076 --> 00:31:10,908
I'm sorry,
but that sounds stupid.
814
00:31:12,245 --> 00:31:14,156
- So sahrry.
- Sahrry.
815
00:31:14,331 --> 00:31:15,617
It's funny. I know.
816
00:31:16,208 --> 00:31:18,495
And what exactly
is your beef with our beer?
817
00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:20,140
Oh, I don't have
any problem with the beer.
818
00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:22,377
I think the limit in the U.S.
is what, nine percent?
819
00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:24,754
Nine percent? How are you
supposed to get drunk?
820
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:27,721
I mean, you know, I think the idea is
you drink more of the weaker stuff.
821
00:31:27,761 --> 00:31:28,922
I bet it is.
822
00:31:29,012 --> 00:31:30,609
You Americans drinking
and eating everything.
823
00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:32,361
- Oh, no, you shouldn't.
- (blows raspberry) So fat.
824
00:31:32,391 --> 00:31:34,177
How about a little help
over here, huh?
825
00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:35,351
I don't think we have
826
00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:36,766
jurisdiction here anymore,
buddy.
827
00:31:36,853 --> 00:31:37,853
All right.
828
00:31:37,938 --> 00:31:40,035
It's not like we're here to "screw you"
out of your rights.
829
00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:41,476
Darn tootin' you're not.
830
00:31:41,650 --> 00:31:42,650
Okay, look, relax.
831
00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:43,974
Go away, you American pigs!
832
00:31:44,069 --> 00:31:46,310
- (crowd shouting angrily)
- MAN: Screw you, hippies!
833
00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:47,611
- WOMAN: Go home!
- Oh!
834
00:31:47,781 --> 00:31:48,862
Take it easy.
835
00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:50,614
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
836
00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:53,684
Sorry about that.
It was an accident.
837
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,861
(grunting)
838
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:00,418
MAN:
Get out of here!
839
00:32:02,170 --> 00:32:03,956
- (grunting)
- (crowd exclaiming)
840
00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,006
Get the fuck off me.
841
00:32:07,634 --> 00:32:09,250
Fuck you, motherfuckers.
Fuck you!
842
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,085
(crowd cheering)
843
00:32:13,557 --> 00:32:15,594
- DRIVER: Vermont sucks, eh!
- RABBIT: Thank you.
844
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:16,882
See you later, sunshine!
845
00:32:17,269 --> 00:32:19,180
- BOTH: Stupid Americans!
- RABBIT: Cheerio!
846
00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:22,600
Okay, this job isn't as fun
as I thought it was.
847
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:23,935
Arrogant American!
848
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,062
The whole world is metric.
What's your problem, eh?
849
00:32:26,236 --> 00:32:27,442
Just doing our job, sir.
850
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:29,228
You're 185 centimeters tall,
851
00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:31,233
you weigh 92 kilogram.
Get used to it!
852
00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:33,319
Okay.
853
00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:35,279
Your authority don't mean
cheese up here.
854
00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:38,655
I can't tell if he's
calling me skinny or fat.
855
00:32:38,748 --> 00:32:40,429
FOSTER: (on radio)
Officers requesting assistance
856
00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:41,930
at the L'Explosion Bordello
on Route Four.
857
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,826
We are under assault by hookers.
858
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,331
Lots of them. Male and female.
859
00:32:45,505 --> 00:32:47,416
Copy, 91.
We'll be right there.
860
00:32:47,507 --> 00:32:49,339
Just as soon as we
finish taking selfies
861
00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:51,463
with the Victoria's Secret
Blow Job Team.
862
00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:53,917
FOSTER: I'm not kidding, Thorny!
There's too many of them.
863
00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:55,485
Will you get your dick
out of my face!
864
00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:57,051
FOSTER:
I just-I got glitter!
865
00:32:57,225 --> 00:32:59,057
Glittering and...
Glittering and...
866
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:00,509
I love it.
It's like we never left.
867
00:33:00,604 --> 00:33:03,141
(tires screeching)
868
00:33:03,231 --> 00:33:04,231
What the hell?
869
00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:05,977
RABBIT:
Remote driver?
870
00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:07,318
Ghost car?
871
00:33:16,244 --> 00:33:17,780
We drilled that sign!
872
00:33:18,205 --> 00:33:19,205
They're kids.
873
00:33:19,956 --> 00:33:21,117
Give me those keys.
874
00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:23,290
Ow! No biting,
you little shitsky!
875
00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:24,376
What's your name, kid?
876
00:33:24,461 --> 00:33:25,682
Stranger danger!
Stranger danger!
877
00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:26,793
Where did you get the car?
878
00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:28,419
- Suck it, cop!
- (groaning)
879
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:33,505
Holy Christmas.
880
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:35,256
Oh, my God.
881
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,046
They're all hopped up
on goofballs.
882
00:33:37,224 --> 00:33:39,431
You can't catch me!
(yelling)
883
00:33:40,227 --> 00:33:41,763
Pm gonna get my bean bag gun!
884
00:33:41,937 --> 00:33:44,201
Show me where you got these
and I'll let you play with my Taser.
885
00:33:44,231 --> 00:33:45,266
Ooh! Yeah!
886
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:49,313
THORNY: We gotta be careful.
887
00:33:49,402 --> 00:33:51,985
This is the kind of image
that could go viral.
888
00:33:53,114 --> 00:33:54,229
There!
889
00:33:54,324 --> 00:33:56,031
(kids grunting)
890
00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:00,077
THORNY: All right.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, boys.
891
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,245
(yelling)
892
00:34:02,332 --> 00:34:03,914
Stay! Stay.
893
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,477
- What's up, Soapy?
- (whistles)
894
00:34:25,814 --> 00:34:26,814
RABBIT: More pills?
895
00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,606
Did Apple change their logo?
896
00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,234
THORNY: What have we here?
897
00:34:34,364 --> 00:34:36,150
(sniffs) Cubans.
898
00:34:36,241 --> 00:34:37,777
Must make you feel
right at home.
899
00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:38,951
Good one.
900
00:34:39,536 --> 00:34:40,742
KID: Pills, pills, pills!
901
00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:41,912
THORNY: Oh, boy.
902
00:34:41,997 --> 00:34:43,533
(kids screaming)
903
00:34:45,792 --> 00:34:47,874
Viva la revolucion, baby!
904
00:34:47,961 --> 00:34:49,247
- Av, av, av!
- FARVA: Ugh.
905
00:34:49,337 --> 00:34:50,793
You ever hear
of the Cuban Embargo?
906
00:34:50,964 --> 00:34:52,375
That embargo
is yesterday's news.
907
00:34:52,549 --> 00:34:53,584
Not for me it isn't.
908
00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:56,212
That's like sucking
Castro's cold, wrinkled dick.
909
00:34:58,388 --> 00:34:59,594
Cuban cigars,
910
00:34:59,681 --> 00:35:01,513
counterfeit iPhones
and unmarked pills.
911
00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:02,798
We got something here.
912
00:35:02,976 --> 00:35:05,559
You boys stumbled
on quite a booty closet.
913
00:35:05,645 --> 00:35:06,645
A what now?
914
00:35:06,813 --> 00:35:08,599
Booty. Contraband.
915
00:35:08,773 --> 00:35:10,514
What? They don't say
"booty" anymore?
916
00:35:10,692 --> 00:35:12,433
- Not really, no.
- Nah.
917
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:14,583
Canadian counterfeit iPhones?
918
00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:16,695
We should call them
eh-Phones, eh? Right?
919
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:18,647
(dialing)
920
00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:20,903
(line ringing)
921
00:35:20,994 --> 00:35:22,610
(cell phones ringing)
922
00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:25,578
They all have the same number?
That's a rip-off.
923
00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:27,952
So, what pills do we have?
924
00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:29,126
Not sure.
925
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,581
Five different kinds.
None of them have markings.
926
00:35:31,755 --> 00:35:32,790
Send them to the lab.
927
00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:35,103
I tried! The U.S. lab said
send them to the Canadian lab.
928
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:37,272
The Canadian lab said, (in Canadian
accent) "Oh, ya, hey there."
929
00:35:37,302 --> 00:35:38,652
- “Send 'em over to the U.S.
lab there."
930
00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:39,899
- Maybe the Mounties
have some pull?
931
00:35:39,929 --> 00:35:41,385
- Boo!
- (overlapping chatter)
932
00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:42,473
Fuck the Mounties!
933
00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:43,718
- Fuckin' Canada.
- Fuck that.
934
00:35:43,892 --> 00:35:45,474
For all we know,
this was the Mounties.
935
00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,260
Easy on the local cop
conspiracies.
936
00:35:47,646 --> 00:35:49,728
We'll solve this case ourselves.
937
00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:51,309
I'll put a call
out to Montpelier,
938
00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:53,891
see if they can
line up a lab for us.
939
00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:56,276
Wah, wah!
I don't need some nerd
940
00:35:56,363 --> 00:35:58,043
in a lab coat
to tell me what this shit is.
941
00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:01,485
(exclaims, crunching)
942
00:36:01,576 --> 00:36:03,442
Sometimes even
I've gotta hand it to you,
943
00:36:03,536 --> 00:36:04,742
you weird son of a bitch.
944
00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:06,449
But why is it that
you chew a pill
945
00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:08,246
yet you swallow M&M's whole?
946
00:36:08,416 --> 00:36:10,248
I'm a complicated guy, Mac.
(chews gum)
947
00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:12,083
Okay. All right.
948
00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:15,166
See you boys
in the Renaissance Period.
949
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:16,340
Huzzah!
950
00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:17,880
(all gulping)
951
00:36:20,053 --> 00:36:22,761
(moaning)
952
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:24,178
(drawling) Can't move.
953
00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:26,390
My mouth is dry.
954
00:36:26,476 --> 00:36:27,989
What do you think,
like a heavy barbiturate?
955
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:29,054
Maybe a muscle relaxant?
956
00:36:29,229 --> 00:36:30,594
You really can't move?
957
00:36:30,772 --> 00:36:33,139
I'm numb. I'm totally numb.
958
00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:35,144
- (smacks lips)
- MAC: Okay.
959
00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:37,350
FARVA: What are you doing?
960
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:38,480
- (groans)
- Oh!
961
00:36:38,571 --> 00:36:40,562
Fuck you, Mac.
I need medical attention.
962
00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:42,856
Side effects may include
fatness and irritability.
963
00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:44,157
I think it's a mood enhancer.
964
00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:47,657
FARVA: (groans)
God damn it.
965
00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:49,993
- I know I'm in a better mood.
- (all laugh)
966
00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:51,137
Do we have any more fly strips?
967
00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:52,305
I want to make him a headband.
968
00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:54,265
FOSTER: ♪ Three little
maids from school are we ♪
969
00:36:54,295 --> 00:36:56,127
♪ Pert as a school-girl
well should be ♪
970
00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,602
♪ Filled to the brim
with girlish glee ♪
971
00:36:57,632 --> 00:36:58,978
♪ Three little maids from school ♪
972
00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:01,249
- That's gotta be speed, right?
- Absolutely.
973
00:37:01,428 --> 00:37:03,795
Wow. You seem kinda wired.
974
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:05,508
I'm just psyched
to be back on the job!
975
00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:07,237
URSULA: Yeah, okay, well,
I knew you would be.
976
00:37:07,267 --> 00:37:08,598
Ooh, did I tell ya the oh--
977
00:37:08,685 --> 00:37:10,115
Oh, yeah, I got,
I got a triangulator.
978
00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:11,727
Why would you
need a triangulator?
979
00:37:11,813 --> 00:37:13,034
Why does everyone
keep saying that?
980
00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:14,725
- To triangulate, baby!
- (chuckles)
981
00:37:14,816 --> 00:37:16,079
How come we never
go dancing anymore?
982
00:37:16,109 --> 00:37:18,225
When I get home, we're
gonna go fuckin' dancing.
983
00:37:18,319 --> 00:37:19,901
Okay. I can't wait.
984
00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:22,480
- (huffing)
- FARVA: Rabbit, I need some lemonade.
985
00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:25,482
Rabbit. Get me
some lemonade, please.
986
00:37:25,744 --> 00:37:26,859
(grunting)
987
00:37:26,953 --> 00:37:28,785
Get me some
goddamn lemonade, rookie!
988
00:37:29,372 --> 00:37:31,534
Don't you call me rookie,
you fucker!
989
00:37:31,708 --> 00:37:33,870
I will fucking put my fist
right through your head!
990
00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:35,499
- I'm thinkin' roids.
- Absolutely.
991
00:37:35,670 --> 00:37:36,950
How about you?
You feel anything?
992
00:37:37,297 --> 00:37:39,755
Wet mouth. Sweaty palms.
993
00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:44,422
Moist ear canals. And I'm
just feeling emotional.
994
00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:46,260
Hm. Okay. (typing)
995
00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:52,051
I think you took
a Canadian female
996
00:37:52,145 --> 00:37:55,809
sexual enhancement drug
called Flova Scotia.
997
00:37:55,899 --> 00:37:58,186
"Made in Canada,
but banned in the U.S."
998
00:37:58,276 --> 00:38:00,187
(music playing on laptop)
999
00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:04,377
FEMALE NARRATOR:
When the time is right,
1000
00:38:04,407 --> 00:38:06,023
but you're not.
1001
00:38:06,534 --> 00:38:08,650
Flova Scotia, eh?
1002
00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:09,909
Side effects may include
1003
00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:12,112
wet mouth, sweaty palms,
damp ears, moist groin,
1004
00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:15,658
varicose breasts, hair loss,
queefing, and bitchiness.
1005
00:38:15,835 --> 00:38:17,792
Flova Scotia, eh?
1006
00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:20,078
You can say "queefing"
on Canadian TV?
1007
00:38:20,173 --> 00:38:21,504
Ha! What a country!
1008
00:38:21,674 --> 00:38:23,210
What about you?
You're awful smiley.
1009
00:38:23,384 --> 00:38:24,465
I'm on acid.
1010
00:38:24,636 --> 00:38:26,752
Pharmaceutical acid?
ls there such a thing?
1011
00:38:26,930 --> 00:38:28,921
Don't know. But I do know
you have exactly
1012
00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:31,131
1,509 hairs in your mustache.
1013
00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:34,722
Close! 1,521. I had them
counted for my birthday.
1014
00:38:34,896 --> 00:38:36,512
- Really?
- Yeah.
1015
00:38:36,689 --> 00:38:38,145
- Really?
- Yeah!
1016
00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:40,440
(laughs) I don't know
what to believe, Thorn!
1017
00:38:40,610 --> 00:38:42,317
- Okay.
- FARVA: Don't you do that.
1018
00:38:42,487 --> 00:38:43,792
I'm really looking
forward to this.
1019
00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:44,822
Well?
1020
00:38:45,990 --> 00:38:47,086
You guys come up with anything?
1021
00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:49,528
Indeed we have some
very interesting leads.
1022
00:38:49,702 --> 00:38:51,033
Some of them from that computer!
1023
00:38:51,204 --> 00:38:53,445
I think that we are
on top of this case.
1024
00:38:53,623 --> 00:38:55,223
RABBIT: We're gonna find out
who did this
1025
00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:57,658
and we're gonna stomp in
their stupid fucking faces!
1026
00:38:58,294 --> 00:38:59,294
Okay.
1027
00:38:59,629 --> 00:39:01,586
O'HAGAN:
Well, the shack's a dead end.
1028
00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:03,997
It's on abandoned land owned
by a defunct mining company,
1029
00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:05,852
so anyone could have
put the booty out there.
1030
00:39:05,927 --> 00:39:07,338
(laughs)
1031
00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:08,634
Why you laughing, Guy Smiley?
1032
00:39:08,721 --> 00:39:11,964
(psychedelic music playing)
1033
00:39:13,268 --> 00:39:14,303
(Mac laughs)
1034
00:39:14,894 --> 00:39:15,929
O'HAGAN:
Okay.
1035
00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:17,144
If we stake out the shack,
1036
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:19,225
maybe we can catch
someone coming or going.
1037
00:39:19,399 --> 00:39:20,399
Let's get back out there.
1038
00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:22,349
(psychedelic music
continues playing)
1039
00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:24,563
Farva, hit the radio.
1040
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,732
You are a majestic snake
1041
00:39:26,823 --> 00:39:28,985
with an impressive mustache.
1042
00:39:29,075 --> 00:39:30,075
(gong rings)
1043
00:39:30,326 --> 00:39:32,033
Now you must shed your skin
1044
00:39:32,161 --> 00:39:34,152
to become a tiny dragon!
1045
00:39:34,998 --> 00:39:37,490
Head pop!
1046
00:39:39,127 --> 00:39:40,431
O'HAGAN (distorted):
You hearing this?
1047
00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:41,917
Come on! Hit the radio!
1048
00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:43,711
Farva! Come on!
1049
00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,878
(giggling)
1050
00:39:51,014 --> 00:39:52,675
- (door opens)
- Uh-oh.
1051
00:39:52,932 --> 00:39:54,388
Woo-hoo!
1052
00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:56,011
I love grass!
1053
00:39:56,185 --> 00:39:57,721
I love life!
1054
00:39:57,896 --> 00:39:59,352
I love music!
1055
00:40:00,857 --> 00:40:02,257
RABBIT: Think puppies,
not steroids.
1056
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,482
Think puppies, not steroids.
1057
00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,110
Smiling. Puppies.
1058
00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:09,358
(exhales)
1059
00:40:09,908 --> 00:40:11,069
Whew!
1060
00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:16,747
Bunnies!
1061
00:40:17,332 --> 00:40:18,332
Bunnies!
1062
00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:20,324
Hi, bunny. Hi.
1063
00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:23,789
Rabbit. My name is Rabbit.
Oh, so cute little thing.
1064
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,166
Bub, bub, bub, bub.
1065
00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:26,798
(softly)
Hey-
1066
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:32,301
(chuckles)
1067
00:40:35,683 --> 00:40:36,889
(chuckles)
1068
00:40:37,727 --> 00:40:39,434
(loudly) Just stay there!
1069
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,306
(pets whimpering)
1070
00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:44,185
- (chairs whirring)
- Feel the steroids
1071
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,516
- melting away.
- (Rabbit moans)
1072
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:48,522
Don't let the job
stress you out.
1073
00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:49,777
I love the job.
1074
00:40:49,864 --> 00:40:52,447
Doesn't stress me out.
Farva stresses me out.
1075
00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:53,732
Such a shame.
1076
00:40:53,826 --> 00:40:56,409
Why are the good-looking ones
always so obnoxious?
1077
00:40:57,413 --> 00:40:58,533
You think he's good-looking?
1078
00:40:58,790 --> 00:41:00,280
(speaks French)
1079
00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:01,991
"The bigger the cushion,"
1080
00:41:02,085 --> 00:41:03,416
"the better the pushing."
1081
00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,664
- No.
- (chuckles) No.
1082
00:41:05,755 --> 00:41:06,790
(laughs)
1083
00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:08,872
I would rather have sex
with a baboon.
1084
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:10,298
(both laughing)
1085
00:41:10,385 --> 00:41:11,420
It's funny though, huh?
1086
00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:14,256
We all have that one
horrible person we work with.
1087
00:41:14,430 --> 00:41:17,468
For me, it's my office manager
Lonnie Laloush.
1088
00:41:17,558 --> 00:41:21,017
Oh, he can be
such a "deeckwad."
1089
00:41:21,104 --> 00:41:23,061
- (chuckles)
- What?
1090
00:41:23,231 --> 00:41:24,285
It's just with your accent,
1091
00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:26,101
the way you say "dickwad"
is adorable.
1092
00:41:26,275 --> 00:41:28,357
No, but it's true.
He is a deeckwad.
1093
00:41:28,444 --> 00:41:29,444
(laughs)
1094
00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:30,735
(Bellefuille speaks French)
1095
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,362
First you steal our job
1096
00:41:33,491 --> 00:41:34,491
and now you sit here
1097
00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,987
gazing lovingly
into the eyes of our women.
1098
00:41:37,537 --> 00:41:39,027
Your women?
1099
00:41:39,205 --> 00:41:40,991
Well, maybe we should
take him in the back,
1100
00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:42,868
give him Canadian handshake, eh?
1101
00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:44,040
What's that?
1102
00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:46,668
Let's just say it involve
a bag of hockey puck
1103
00:41:46,754 --> 00:41:48,495
and a lot of warm gravy.
1104
00:41:48,589 --> 00:41:50,296
Mm. Sounds delicious.
1105
00:41:50,383 --> 00:41:51,873
- (horn blares)
- FARVA: Make way!
1106
00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:53,667
Hot soup coming through!
1107
00:41:54,721 --> 00:41:56,462
Oh, Canadian standoff, huh?
1108
00:41:56,556 --> 00:41:58,797
Oh, it look like
Professor Stephen Hawking
1109
00:41:58,891 --> 00:42:00,802
has really let himself
go these days.
1110
00:42:00,893 --> 00:42:02,224
(laughs boisterously)
1111
00:42:02,311 --> 00:42:04,177
(mimics laughter)
1112
00:42:04,272 --> 00:42:06,138
(in robotic voice)
When God created Canada,
1113
00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:09,020
it was like the universe farted.
1114
00:42:09,110 --> 00:42:10,110
(blows raspberry)
1115
00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:11,980
Why do all the fat one
always ride around
1116
00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:13,357
on these little scooters?
1117
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:15,363
You ever stop and think
that if you walk,
1118
00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:16,656
you might actually be thin?
1119
00:42:16,743 --> 00:42:18,154
(blowing whistle)
1120
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:20,120
Wow.
1121
00:42:20,621 --> 00:42:23,613
These pigs are harassing
the handicapped!
1122
00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:26,078
Everybody look.
Take a phone video!
1123
00:42:26,252 --> 00:42:27,834
MAN: Hey! Leave him alone!
1124
00:42:28,004 --> 00:42:29,915
Hey! This shit is far from over.
1125
00:42:30,923 --> 00:42:33,085
- You want to go to TJ's Arcade?
- Oui.
1126
00:42:33,259 --> 00:42:34,920
I have some loonie
I need to break.
1127
00:42:35,011 --> 00:42:36,297
C'est bon.
1128
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:38,094
(mumbles mock French)
1129
00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:39,546
Fuckin' Frenchies.
1130
00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:44,176
What are you two
doing together? Mall walking?
1131
00:42:44,353 --> 00:42:46,936
We ran into each other
at the pet store.
1132
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:50,064
(chuckles) Rabbit.
You shopping for a new gerbil?
1133
00:42:50,151 --> 00:42:51,937
(laughing hysterically)
1134
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,686
Hey, Gwenevieve,
how about the two of us
1135
00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:56,237
go over to
the Saskatchuan Palace
1136
00:42:56,407 --> 00:42:58,148
and get a Wang dang doodle?
(chuckles)
1137
00:42:58,493 --> 00:42:59,528
Heu, non.
1138
00:42:59,619 --> 00:43:02,111
Ooh, woof woof. Put a little
bark on that, and I'll bite.
1139
00:43:02,205 --> 00:43:05,163
(scoffs)
Okay, I'm going to 90-
1140
00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:08,491
It was great seeing you.
1141
00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:10,376
Don't leave on my account.
(chuckles)
1142
00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:13,038
Uh-huh! Cocky, huh?
1143
00:43:14,217 --> 00:43:15,252
How about we up the bet?
1144
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:16,632
There is no bet, Farva.
1145
00:43:16,803 --> 00:43:18,168
Okay, new bet then.
1146
00:43:18,346 --> 00:43:21,259
Loser not only cuts off
his pinky toe with a shovel,
1147
00:43:21,432 --> 00:43:22,763
he puts it in a blender
1148
00:43:22,850 --> 00:43:25,308
and drinks it in a smoothie,
toenail and all.
1149
00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:26,394
- (scoffs)
- Come on.
1150
00:43:26,813 --> 00:43:28,804
- Shake it, don't mistake it.
- You're serious?
1151
00:43:28,898 --> 00:43:30,514
Serious as a heart attack.
1152
00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:33,145
And I should know.
I've had two.
1153
00:43:33,236 --> 00:43:34,943
(scooter beeping)
1154
00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:37,274
- Wow.
- FARVA: Pinky toe smoothie!
1155
00:43:42,203 --> 00:43:43,443
(laughs)
1156
00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:46,412
- Somebody clean this up.
- (horn honks)
1157
00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:56,498
Son of a bitch.
1158
00:43:56,717 --> 00:43:57,717
FOSTER:
Hey!
1159
00:43:57,802 --> 00:43:59,668
Heat goggles have arrived!
1160
00:44:00,888 --> 00:44:02,174
Looking hot, Mac.
1161
00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:05,136
Hey, nickel plated cuffs!
1162
00:44:05,434 --> 00:44:08,472
Oh, shit.
These things are defective.
1163
00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:09,681
What's wrong with them?
1164
00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:10,937
They don't seem to lock.
1165
00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:12,563
Here. Let me see.
1166
00:44:12,733 --> 00:44:14,269
Here you go, Rabbit,
give me that hand.
1167
00:44:17,697 --> 00:44:19,877
- THORNY: I got mine to work.
- FOSTER: Maybe it's this one.
1168
00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:21,546
- Okay.
- Oh yeah. That works. Okay, good.
1169
00:44:21,576 --> 00:44:22,486
Try the ankle ones.
1170
00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:24,340
THORNY: Oh, you always gotta
check the ankle ones.
1171
00:44:24,370 --> 00:44:26,425
- FOSTER: That's the most important.
- THORNY: And here we go.
1172
00:44:26,455 --> 00:44:27,945
(chuckles) You son-a-bitches.
1173
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:29,160
You're not shaving my balls!
1174
00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,370
It'd be an insult to our
Canadian hosts if we didn't.
1175
00:44:31,460 --> 00:44:33,015
I'm not a rookie anymore.
Get these off me.
1176
00:44:33,045 --> 00:44:34,684
Do you not want to be
an ambassador of goodwill?
1177
00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:36,330
No. I don't. Get these off me.
1178
00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:38,623
Rabbit, it's not like
we want to shave your balls.
1179
00:44:38,718 --> 00:44:40,217
Thorny, do you want
to shave his balls?
1180
00:44:40,232 --> 00:44:40,773
Me? Hell no.
1181
00:44:40,803 --> 00:44:41,884
- Foster?
- No way.
1182
00:44:41,971 --> 00:44:43,568
You don't wanna shave
his balls, do you, Farva?
1183
00:44:43,598 --> 00:44:44,598
Hell yeah, I do!
1184
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:45,722
I even went out and bought
1185
00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:47,196
one of those
old-timey straight razors.
1186
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:49,263
- No. No.
- Check this out.
1187
00:44:49,353 --> 00:44:51,014
- (crackling)
- (shrieks)
1188
00:44:51,105 --> 00:44:52,105
FARVA: Jesus!
1189
00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:53,897
Goddamn Canadian wiring!
1190
00:44:53,983 --> 00:44:55,769
It's wrecking
my freakin' sperm count!
1191
00:44:56,611 --> 00:44:57,817
(Farva groans)
1192
00:44:57,904 --> 00:45:00,271
Are you still taking
the Flova Scotia?
1193
00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:01,904
What part of
"side effects include"
1194
00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:03,838
"queefing and bitchiness"
did you not understand?
1195
00:45:03,868 --> 00:45:06,405
Dude, the orgasms are
like a moonshot. (chuckles)
1196
00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:08,009
You can't keep taking
female hormones.
1197
00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:09,074
It's gonna mess you up.
1198
00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:10,283
Jealous much?
1199
00:45:10,458 --> 00:45:11,823
Now who are you orgasming with?
1200
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:14,038
(in Canadian accent)
Her name is Quebecois Debbie.
1201
00:45:14,212 --> 00:45:17,170
Oh, Thorny, your cock,
she is so wide.
1202
00:45:17,256 --> 00:45:19,497
- (both chuckling)
- I'd fuck her.
1203
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:20,800
(scoffs)
1204
00:45:20,885 --> 00:45:22,717
- Okay, let's shave this sack.
- Don't.
1205
00:45:22,803 --> 00:45:25,761
(rock music plays)
1206
00:45:31,646 --> 00:45:32,761
(bear grunts)
1207
00:45:35,691 --> 00:45:36,691
THORNY: Ready?
1208
00:45:36,776 --> 00:45:38,312
Seriously, cut the crap, guys.
1209
00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:40,313
(indistinct chatter, laughter)
1210
00:45:43,699 --> 00:45:45,736
- O'HAGAN: Ahem!
- (Foster clears throat)
1211
00:45:45,826 --> 00:45:47,316
There's a bear in the station.
1212
00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:50,028
Is that a euphemism for something?
1213
00:45:50,206 --> 00:45:52,994
It's a euphemism for
there's a goddamn bear
1214
00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:56,501
eating slabs of raw meat
in the goddamn station!
1215
00:45:58,881 --> 00:46:01,168
(bear growling)
1216
00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:02,749
- Yeah. Bear.
- Okay.
1217
00:46:02,843 --> 00:46:03,843
Where are the guns?
1218
00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:05,384
In the room with the bear.
1219
00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:06,885
Tear gas grenades?
1220
00:46:07,056 --> 00:46:08,736
- I just got a new delivery!
- Where is it?
1221
00:46:08,849 --> 00:46:11,261
In the room
with the guns and the bear.
1222
00:46:11,435 --> 00:46:13,267
What if we send Rabbit
out to fuck the bear
1223
00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:14,659
as a means
of distracting said bear?
1224
00:46:14,689 --> 00:46:16,179
- Yes.
- God damn it,
1225
00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:17,794
we've got to get
the meat out of there!
1226
00:46:19,277 --> 00:46:20,438
Fine, fuck it. I'll do it.
1227
00:46:20,861 --> 00:46:22,351
- I'll go with you.
- Really?
1228
00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:24,010
Yeah. What's the worst
that could happen?
1229
00:46:24,025 --> 00:46:25,044
You get mauled by the bear.
1230
00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:26,485
Or that bear
could get mauled by me.
1231
00:46:26,575 --> 00:46:28,297
- You ever think about that?
- THORNY: No, I didn't.
1232
00:46:28,327 --> 00:46:29,327
Okay, here's the plan:
1233
00:46:29,412 --> 00:46:31,550
I'll go out there and distract
the bear, while you get the meat
1234
00:46:31,580 --> 00:46:33,144
and get it the hell
out of the station.
1235
00:46:33,159 --> 00:46:33,761
Team Ram-Rod!
1236
00:46:33,791 --> 00:46:35,156
Please don't start
with that shit.
1237
00:46:39,547 --> 00:46:40,547
(snorts)
1238
00:46:40,631 --> 00:46:41,996
MAC: Good luck, fellas.
1239
00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:45,792
(whispers) Okay.
You stay here.
1240
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,597
Big boy. Hey, big boy!
1241
00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:53,425
(whistles, cawing)
1242
00:46:53,519 --> 00:46:54,519
(grunts)
1243
00:46:54,603 --> 00:46:55,889
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, no.
1244
00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:58,475
Come here, Ditka.
Come here. Come here, boy!
1245
00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:00,066
(whispers) Go, go, 90-
1246
00:47:00,860 --> 00:47:02,066
- Come on!
- (growls)
1247
00:47:02,778 --> 00:47:04,143
THORNY:
Come on! Come on!
1248
00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:05,483
- Come, come!
- (roars)
1249
00:47:05,573 --> 00:47:06,573
Okay.
1250
00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:08,113
Okay, okay.
1251
00:47:08,284 --> 00:47:09,284
Fuck you, bear.
1252
00:47:09,368 --> 00:47:11,325
- (growling)
- Shit.
1253
00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:15,498
Shit.
1254
00:47:19,211 --> 00:47:20,292
(grunts)
1255
00:47:23,549 --> 00:47:24,710
(yelling)
1256
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:25,915
THORNY: Go, go, go, go!
1257
00:47:28,804 --> 00:47:30,545
(whimpering)
1258
00:47:31,140 --> 00:47:32,301
(bear snarls)
1259
00:47:32,391 --> 00:47:33,927
♪ Big bear...♪
1260
00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:35,179
(grunting)
1261
00:47:35,269 --> 00:47:36,475
♪ Got a chest like a rug... ♪
1262
00:47:36,562 --> 00:47:37,768
Oh, shit.
1263
00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:40,563
♪ He don't take no guff,
he's big bear... ♪
1264
00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:43,308
Hey. Hey.
Get out of there. Stop.
1265
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:45,936
- Should I shoot him?
- Who? Farva?
1266
00:47:46,030 --> 00:47:47,030
Ooh, good idea.
1267
00:47:47,198 --> 00:47:48,688
THORNY:
No, no! No, no, no.
1268
00:47:49,575 --> 00:47:50,485
(whimpers)
1269
00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:52,032
- (roars)
- (Farva yelps)
1270
00:47:52,119 --> 00:47:53,609
THORNY:
Go away!
1271
00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:55,035
(shrieking)
1272
00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:57,371
ALL: Oh!
1273
00:47:57,458 --> 00:47:58,368
♪ Big bear ♪
1274
00:47:58,459 --> 00:48:00,291
- Get away, bear.
- (growls)
1275
00:48:00,378 --> 00:48:02,665
♪ C'mon, give the bear a hug! ♪
1276
00:48:03,339 --> 00:48:05,376
Go! Go! Go!
1277
00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:07,047
Get out of here. Fuck.
1278
00:48:09,762 --> 00:48:11,002
(all cheering)
1279
00:48:11,764 --> 00:48:13,801
Holy shit, I "bear-ly" made it.
1280
00:48:13,891 --> 00:48:15,973
(all laughing)
1281
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:17,596
That could've been "grizzly."
1282
00:48:17,686 --> 00:48:19,222
- (all chuckle)
- Yeah.
1283
00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:21,138
I think someone took
a "growler" in here.
1284
00:48:21,315 --> 00:48:22,646
Shoot him.
1285
00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:25,441
- (indistinct chatter in car)
- MAC: Fuckin' Mounties!
1286
00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:26,976
Son of a bitch!
1287
00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:29,608
Those guys have been assholes
since the moment we arrived
1288
00:48:29,698 --> 00:48:31,109
and now they are
trying to kill us.
1289
00:48:31,283 --> 00:48:33,043
This goes a lot farther
than just being angry
1290
00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:34,112
about losing their jobs.
1291
00:48:34,203 --> 00:48:36,114
Cap, we've been
pelted by hockey pucks,
1292
00:48:36,205 --> 00:48:37,787
had dicks tugged
in front of our faces
1293
00:48:37,957 --> 00:48:40,289
and gotten our asses kicked
by prostitutes of both sexes.
1294
00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:42,575
I think it's time we had
our own fun. Who's with me?
1295
00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:43,953
- (all cheer)
- Yeah! Let's go!
1296
00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:47,126
- Dude, you fuckin' stink.
- Sorry.
1297
00:48:48,551 --> 00:48:51,760
Guys! Guys! Anyone?
1298
00:48:52,638 --> 00:48:54,595
The shaving cream
is starting to burn.
1299
00:48:54,682 --> 00:48:56,047
Did you use menthol?
1300
00:48:56,225 --> 00:48:58,512
FEMALE NARRATOR: Hair loss,
queefing and bitchiness.
1301
00:48:58,686 --> 00:49:00,597
Flova Scotia, eh?
1302
00:49:01,605 --> 00:49:04,472
Fuckin' rights.
It's the same guy, bud.
1303
00:49:04,650 --> 00:49:07,108
No, no, no. It's
a different guy, that guy, eh.
1304
00:49:07,278 --> 00:49:09,235
No! That's Danny DeVito!
1305
00:49:09,405 --> 00:49:11,942
(grunts) Danny DeVito
is the actor from Taxi,
1306
00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:13,322
but that guy I like,
1307
00:49:13,409 --> 00:49:16,117
he come out on
Always Sunny in Philadelphias.
1308
00:49:16,203 --> 00:49:17,243
Bud, they're the same guy.
1309
00:49:17,329 --> 00:49:19,449
How many 145-centimeter actors
do you think there are?
1310
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:20,947
They're both Danny DeVito!
1311
00:49:21,041 --> 00:49:22,041
(indistinct mumbling)
1312
00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:24,584
No, Danny DeVito
Taxi long time ago.
1313
00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:27,495
But this producer
from Always Sunnys,
1314
00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:29,251
they like him so much,
(pops lips)
1315
00:49:29,425 --> 00:49:31,757
they put him it
into the show, eh.
1316
00:49:31,927 --> 00:49:34,089
That doesn't mean they
can't be the same guy, bud.
1317
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:35,703
That's one guy.
It's a different era.
1318
00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:37,467
He can do two shows
in fucking 30 years.
1319
00:49:37,641 --> 00:49:39,507
How many times
do we have to go over this?
1320
00:49:39,602 --> 00:49:41,388
It's the same fucking guy!
1321
00:49:41,479 --> 00:49:43,311
- (object clattering)
- (mumbling)
1322
00:49:43,772 --> 00:49:46,560
He is right, you know.
It is the same guy.
1323
00:49:46,734 --> 00:49:48,896
Danny DeVito was in Taxis,
1324
00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:51,648
but he is also in It's Always
Sunny in Philadelphia's.
1325
00:49:52,490 --> 00:49:54,231
I know. I make joke on him.
1326
00:49:54,325 --> 00:49:57,033
He think I don't know,
but I know, eh.
1327
00:49:57,119 --> 00:49:59,030
(chuckles)
1328
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,822
You know who is my favorite,
uh, superhero villain?
1329
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,207
Is the Penguin
from Batman film, eh.
1330
00:50:05,377 --> 00:50:07,459
That's fuckin'
Danny DeVito, bud.
1331
00:50:07,630 --> 00:50:08,916
Get a fucking clue!
1332
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:10,542
That's Danny DeVito
you just said!
1333
00:50:10,674 --> 00:50:12,229
Can you believe
this fuckin' guy doesn't know
1334
00:50:12,259 --> 00:50:13,259
who Danny DeVito is?
1335
00:50:13,344 --> 00:50:14,344
Who you mean? The singer?
1336
00:50:14,678 --> 00:50:17,261
No, the fuckin' actor!
Danny DeVito.
1337
00:50:17,348 --> 00:50:19,214
The guy who's married
to Rhea Perlman!
1338
00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:21,007
Oh, I like him in Hellboy.
1339
00:50:21,185 --> 00:50:22,550
That's Ron Perlman!
1340
00:50:22,728 --> 00:50:25,686
Doesn't matter. Archambault!
Hockey is back on!
1341
00:50:25,773 --> 00:50:27,119
What the fuck is wrong
with you guys?
1342
00:50:27,149 --> 00:50:28,871
Both of you. You're fuckin'
from another planet.
1343
00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:30,621
I can't believe we live
in the same country.
1344
00:50:30,653 --> 00:50:32,082
- (phone ringing)
- Oh, the fucking phone
1345
00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:33,501
is ringing during
hockey night in Canada!
1346
00:50:33,531 --> 00:50:35,397
Who is calling during
hockey night in Canada?
1347
00:50:35,574 --> 00:50:37,611
Who the fuck even has
a hard line anymore?
1348
00:50:37,785 --> 00:50:40,072
Archambault, rip the fuckin'
phone out of the wall!
1349
00:50:40,246 --> 00:50:41,550
What's next?
You're gonna have someone
1350
00:50:41,580 --> 00:50:43,300
deliver a pizza during
the fuckin' overtime?
1351
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:44,614
(yells)
1352
00:50:46,126 --> 00:50:47,582
- (hissing)
- What the fuck?
1353
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:48,670
(Podien coughs)
1354
00:50:54,677 --> 00:50:56,509
You know, the other guy I like,
1355
00:50:56,679 --> 00:50:58,386
is the one giving Billy Crystal
1356
00:50:58,472 --> 00:51:00,713
the problem in
Throw Momma and the Trains.
1357
00:51:03,561 --> 00:51:05,393
Holy merde.
1358
00:51:05,854 --> 00:51:07,185
(yells)
1359
00:51:08,190 --> 00:51:10,147
(grunting)
1360
00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:11,234
(groans)
1361
00:51:14,196 --> 00:51:15,527
(growling)
1362
00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:17,321
(laughter)
1363
00:51:19,285 --> 00:51:20,366
(grunting)
1364
00:51:20,452 --> 00:51:21,452
THORNY: Get him!
1365
00:51:22,371 --> 00:51:23,577
(crackling)
1366
00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:27,119
(groaning)
1367
00:51:30,129 --> 00:51:31,961
(cheering)
1368
00:51:33,882 --> 00:51:35,122
Great fight, guys!
1369
00:51:35,217 --> 00:51:38,005
Pennyworth ADH4
Sure Shot Cattle Prod.
1370
00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:39,256
Every station needs one.
1371
00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:41,132
(all cheering)
1372
00:51:41,348 --> 00:51:43,089
I can't breathe.
1373
00:51:43,183 --> 00:51:45,424
(rock music plays)
1374
00:51:53,402 --> 00:51:55,939
- (muffled grunts and shouts)
- (cattle prod crackling)
1375
00:51:57,906 --> 00:51:59,567
(mounties groaning)
1376
00:52:00,159 --> 00:52:02,867
We know it's you guys.
We can see your mustaches.
1377
00:52:03,537 --> 00:52:04,743
You can't leave us out here.
1378
00:52:04,830 --> 00:52:07,538
We are at least
100 kilomètres in the woods!
1379
00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:08,948
ARCHAMBAULT: Maybe more, huh?
1380
00:52:14,048 --> 00:52:15,163
(all panting)
1381
00:52:15,674 --> 00:52:18,166
BELLEFUILLE: Ah, tabernacle.
Here come the mosquito.
1382
00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:20,968
(all cheering)
1383
00:52:23,432 --> 00:52:24,593
We got 24 hours
1384
00:52:24,683 --> 00:52:26,765
to desecrate the good name
of these dickfucks.
1385
00:52:26,935 --> 00:52:28,926
- (all cheering)
- Let's do it!
1386
00:52:29,021 --> 00:52:30,807
(all cheering and whooping)
1387
00:52:31,148 --> 00:52:33,981
(counts in French)
1388
00:52:34,068 --> 00:52:35,854
Let's do it.
1389
00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:41,864
License and registration, eh!
1390
00:52:43,077 --> 00:52:44,506
Here you go.
FARVA (on radio): Captain.
1391
00:52:44,536 --> 00:52:45,901
- Come in, Captain.
- Officer.
1392
00:52:45,996 --> 00:52:47,236
FARVA: Captain, come in.
1393
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:48,371
MAN: Officer, here you go.
1394
00:52:48,457 --> 00:52:50,164
FARVA: Are you hearing
anything, Captain?
1395
00:52:50,195 --> 00:52:52,672
Man, you think maybe your buddy
is getting a little old for this?
1396
00:52:52,703 --> 00:52:54,223
I mean, a deaf cop?
1397
00:52:54,254 --> 00:52:55,744
Who said that, eh?
1398
00:52:56,131 --> 00:52:59,089
Ooh. You, sir,
have the nose of a king.
1399
00:52:59,551 --> 00:53:02,009
Hold tight, I'm gonna
get my ticket book.
1400
00:53:02,262 --> 00:53:03,377
(Foster groans)
1401
00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:05,296
(in high-pitched voice)
Ya! Hey there.
1402
00:53:05,474 --> 00:53:07,004
- License and registration.
- All right.
1403
00:53:07,074 --> 00:53:09,198
(in flat voice) Let's go!
License and registration, eh!
1404
00:53:09,228 --> 00:53:09,965
(snickering)
1405
00:53:10,004 --> 00:53:14,059
(in high-pitched voice)
What's so funny, Mr. Matt Tomon?
1406
00:53:14,149 --> 00:53:15,149
You think it's funny that
1407
00:53:15,234 --> 00:53:16,690
I lost my balls
in a tractor pull?
1408
00:53:16,860 --> 00:53:18,521
Wait, you both
got your nuts ripped off
1409
00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:19,612
in a tractor pull?
1410
00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:21,396
I lost mine in the spokes
of my bicycle.
1411
00:53:21,573 --> 00:53:23,280
You know how fast
that will stop a bicycle?
1412
00:53:25,703 --> 00:53:27,068
MAN: Hey, Officer!
1413
00:53:27,287 --> 00:53:29,619
- Hey, you're on my wagon.
- What?
1414
00:53:29,790 --> 00:53:32,532
Come on! Wake up! Wake up!
1415
00:53:33,001 --> 00:53:34,537
FARVA:
License and registration, eh?
1416
00:53:36,255 --> 00:53:38,246
'Scuse me one second, eh.
1417
00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:39,584
- You bitch!
- (grunts)
1418
00:53:40,050 --> 00:53:41,757
- Get back here, you!
- FARVA: Ow! Ow!
1419
00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:45,840
- Hey, there.
- Hi.
1420
00:53:46,014 --> 00:53:47,630
License and registration.
1421
00:53:47,725 --> 00:53:51,218
Hey, aren't you the two
that pulled me over before?
1422
00:53:51,395 --> 00:53:52,601
Beg your pardon?
1423
00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:56,230
How are you Mounties now?
Or should I say Meow-nties?
1424
00:53:56,316 --> 00:53:57,806
- (chuckles)
- Say what now?
1425
00:53:58,610 --> 00:54:00,066
Few years ago,
you pulled me over
1426
00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:02,111
and you played some game
where you said "meow."
1427
00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:03,942
Buddy, I've said
a thousand stupid things
1428
00:54:04,032 --> 00:54:05,113
to people over the years.
1429
00:54:05,284 --> 00:54:07,025
You asked if I saw you
jumping around
1430
00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:09,577
all nimbly-bimbly
from tree to tree?
1431
00:54:09,747 --> 00:54:11,863
(chuckles) I can assure you
I've never said the words
1432
00:54:11,957 --> 00:54:14,119
"“nimbly-bimbly" in my life.
1433
00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:15,783
- You fucker!
- Oh, you bitch!
1434
00:54:15,878 --> 00:54:17,243
(Farva groaning)
1435
00:54:17,337 --> 00:54:19,374
Where's the gosh darn cruiser?
1436
00:54:19,465 --> 00:54:20,671
(tires screeching)
1437
00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:22,419
Dude, your partner
is about to get mucked!
1438
00:54:22,593 --> 00:54:24,459
Where you going, mister?
Freeze!
1439
00:54:24,553 --> 00:54:25,833
- (horn blares)
- (tires screech)
1440
00:54:27,181 --> 00:54:28,216
Ow. Ow!
1441
00:54:30,976 --> 00:54:32,216
(sighs)
1442
00:54:32,311 --> 00:54:33,472
- (honks horn)
- (screams)
1443
00:54:33,562 --> 00:54:35,178
(all screaming)
1444
00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:36,272
Bro!
1445
00:54:37,232 --> 00:54:39,121
Hang on. (whispers)
Do you really not remember this guy
1446
00:54:39,151 --> 00:54:40,205
or you just fuckin' with him?
1447
00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:41,457
Yeah, I have no idea who he is.
1448
00:54:41,487 --> 00:54:42,833
You know I heard
everything you said.
1449
00:54:42,863 --> 00:54:44,626
Son of a bitch.
We've been doing that for years.
1450
00:54:44,656 --> 00:54:46,647
Forget it. Am I getting
a ticket here, or what?
1451
00:54:46,742 --> 00:54:49,298
I want to get my head around this,
'cause now it's driving me crazy.
1452
00:54:49,328 --> 00:54:51,615
Let's do this. We'll switch.
You'll be me, I'll be you
1453
00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:52,926
and then you'll do the routine.
1454
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:53,991
What? All right.
1455
00:54:54,082 --> 00:54:55,482
Ah, you'll kill it, you'll kill it.
1456
00:54:55,834 --> 00:54:56,834
(grunts)
1457
00:54:57,377 --> 00:55:00,711
License and registration meow.
Come on, meow.
1458
00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:03,248
- Hey! Now I remember it!
- (both laughing)
1459
00:55:03,342 --> 00:55:05,299
- I remember it now.
- You remember that.
1460
00:55:05,469 --> 00:55:07,566
In the meanwhile, never give
your car keys to a stranger.
1461
00:55:07,596 --> 00:55:08,631
Why is that?
1462
00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:10,053
FOSTER (giggles):
See you, sucker!
1463
00:55:10,682 --> 00:55:12,522
MAC: I knew it was you
the whole time, asshole!
1464
00:55:13,977 --> 00:55:16,325
(in high-pitched voice)
What the hell is going on here? Huh?
1465
00:55:16,355 --> 00:55:18,365
Looks like someone is smoking
the reefer joints.
1466
00:55:18,396 --> 00:55:19,813
No, that's not marijuana.
1467
00:55:19,844 --> 00:55:20,953
We'll see about that.
1468
00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:22,998
(in high-pitched voice)
Farva, that's not a good idea!
1469
00:55:23,028 --> 00:55:24,028
(screaming)
1470
00:55:25,030 --> 00:55:26,030
What's the--
1471
00:55:26,114 --> 00:55:28,526
(siren wailing)
1472
00:55:28,659 --> 00:55:29,740
Okay, this is happening.
1473
00:55:33,622 --> 00:55:36,364
Do you know how fast you were going?
1474
00:55:36,750 --> 00:55:37,831
Sorry.
1475
00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:39,742
Do you know how fast you were going?
1476
00:55:40,379 --> 00:55:42,495
We're from America.
We don't speak French.
1477
00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:43,624
Oh.
1478
00:55:44,299 --> 00:55:45,539
(horse neighing)
1479
00:55:47,761 --> 00:55:49,172
(speaking French)
1480
00:55:49,263 --> 00:55:50,674
Do neither of you speak English?
1481
00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:52,338
- (in French accent) I do.
- Oh.
1482
00:55:52,432 --> 00:55:54,139
Em... (clicks tongue)
1483
00:55:54,226 --> 00:55:55,557
Your papers.
1484
00:55:55,853 --> 00:55:59,687
We would like
to eat your papers.
1485
00:55:59,857 --> 00:56:02,815
(in French accent)
Can you show me your party papers?
1486
00:56:02,901 --> 00:56:05,207
- You want to see our party papers?
- You want... the party papers?
1487
00:56:05,237 --> 00:56:07,353
(babbling in French)
1488
00:56:09,116 --> 00:56:10,948
(babbling in French)
1489
00:56:14,913 --> 00:56:15,948
(scoffs)
1490
00:56:17,082 --> 00:56:19,323
(mounties continue conversing
in French)
1491
00:56:27,759 --> 00:56:28,794
Eau de toilette!
1492
00:56:28,886 --> 00:56:30,001
(imitates mockingly)
1493
00:56:30,095 --> 00:56:31,756
Officers? I'm sorry.
1494
00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:33,047
You're-- you're obviously in--
1495
00:56:33,181 --> 00:56:34,467
No, no, no, no, no.
1496
00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:37,391
I must apologize, uh,
for me and my partner.
1497
00:56:37,686 --> 00:56:39,017
We should not fight.
1498
00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:40,973
To argue is no way
to go through the life.
1499
00:56:41,064 --> 00:56:42,064
I know.
1500
00:56:42,190 --> 00:56:44,101
- Do you know the key to life?
- What's that?
1501
00:56:44,276 --> 00:56:46,392
The key to life is a...
1502
00:56:47,195 --> 00:56:49,436
a penis in your asshole.
1503
00:56:49,907 --> 00:56:52,069
I beg your pardon, sir!
1504
00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:54,358
I think you must be
saying that wrong!
1505
00:56:54,536 --> 00:56:58,951
No, no, no. The key to life
is a penis in your asshole.
1506
00:56:59,124 --> 00:57:01,456
I don't think you're saying
what you mean to say.
1507
00:57:01,543 --> 00:57:02,704
Oh, oui! Oui! Oui!
1508
00:57:02,794 --> 00:57:04,000
A penis. A penis.
1509
00:57:04,087 --> 00:57:06,920
You know, eh, eh, to smile.
To be happy.
1510
00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:08,372
Oh!
1511
00:57:08,967 --> 00:57:10,708
- "Happiness!"
- (all chuckle)
1512
00:57:11,011 --> 00:57:12,467
Honey! It's...
1513
00:57:12,638 --> 00:57:13,638
Okay.
1514
00:57:13,931 --> 00:57:15,467
In your asshole.
1515
00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:17,308
That's...
1516
00:57:17,434 --> 00:57:19,675
Your asshole.
Eh, where you live.
1517
00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:22,182
Your apartment, your domicile.
1518
00:57:22,356 --> 00:57:23,687
Your house.
1519
00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:25,143
- "Household!"
- THORNY: Ah!
1520
00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:28,480
"The key to life is happiness
in your household!"
1521
00:57:28,654 --> 00:57:31,146
The key to life is
"a penis in your asshole"!
1522
00:57:31,323 --> 00:57:32,939
- Oh!
- I'm trying to tell her that.
1523
00:57:33,033 --> 00:57:34,694
(all laughing)
1524
00:57:37,537 --> 00:57:39,073
What you think I say?
1525
00:57:39,247 --> 00:57:40,552
Oh, I don't even
want to tell you.
1526
00:57:40,582 --> 00:57:42,289
Maybe they'll get
a kick out of it.
1527
00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:44,291
We thought that you said,
1528
00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:49,046
that the key to life
is a penis in your asshole.
1529
00:57:49,132 --> 00:57:50,372
Sacrebleu, non!
1530
00:57:51,343 --> 00:57:53,505
You Americans think
everyone want to fuck you!
1531
00:57:53,595 --> 00:57:55,461
No one want to fuck you!
1532
00:57:55,555 --> 00:57:56,636
Merde!
1533
00:57:57,057 --> 00:57:58,968
Here is your party papers!
1534
00:57:59,893 --> 00:58:01,804
I thought Canadians were nice.
1535
00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:04,436
THORNY: Whoa! Whoa!
Wait for me. Okay.
1536
00:58:04,523 --> 00:58:05,604
(laughter)
1537
00:58:05,732 --> 00:58:06,912
I was thinking we could do like
1538
00:58:06,942 --> 00:58:08,103
a "Who's on First?" pullover.
1539
00:58:08,276 --> 00:58:10,768
"Rabbit and Fostello."
You know, old-time comedy.
1540
00:58:10,862 --> 00:58:11,862
- Love it.
- Ooh!
1541
00:58:14,950 --> 00:58:16,964
- How did they get back so quick?
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit!
1542
00:58:16,994 --> 00:58:18,155
- Shit!
- Go, 90. 90, go!
1543
00:58:26,753 --> 00:58:28,369
There these
son-of-a-bitch guys, eh!
1544
00:58:28,463 --> 00:58:30,045
Stomp you a new mudhole!
1545
00:58:30,132 --> 00:58:31,213
O'HAGAN: Whoa, whoa!
1546
00:58:31,299 --> 00:58:32,915
What the hell happened
to you guys?
1547
00:58:33,093 --> 00:58:34,754
They dump us in the woods!
1548
00:58:34,928 --> 00:58:36,544
Why would we do that?
We're the police.
1549
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:38,235
Too bad for you
my dad dropped me in the woods
1550
00:58:38,265 --> 00:58:40,131
- naked every summer!
- Hah?
1551
00:58:40,225 --> 00:58:41,556
Oh, sounds too bad for you.
1552
00:58:41,727 --> 00:58:43,434
Come on. You know you do this.
Look at us.
1553
00:58:43,603 --> 00:58:45,890
We are paint all red,
white and blue.
1554
00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:47,619
Aren't those the colors
of the French flag?
1555
00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:49,409
- (sputters)
- Oh, the color the French flag.
1556
00:58:49,443 --> 00:58:50,956
Perhaps the guys
who did this were British.
1557
00:58:50,986 --> 00:58:52,226
Could've been Costa Rican.
1558
00:58:52,404 --> 00:58:54,236
Who wants breakfast burritos?
1559
00:58:54,322 --> 00:58:55,858
- (speaks French)
- (exclaiming)
1560
00:58:56,408 --> 00:58:57,504
Take that off or I'll kill you.
1561
00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:58,894
Let's settle this
the Canadian way!
1562
00:58:58,952 --> 00:58:59,952
You're in America now!
1563
00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:01,994
(clamoring)
1564
00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:04,830
Hey! What's going on here?
1565
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,287
Great Tim Horton's ghost!
1566
00:59:07,461 --> 00:59:09,202
First, I get a call
that the Mounties
1567
00:59:09,296 --> 00:59:11,037
are out farting sideways
on the highways.
1568
00:59:11,214 --> 00:59:12,670
Then I get a call
to come down here.
1569
00:59:12,758 --> 00:59:13,958
BELLEFUILLE: Oh, it Wasn't us!
1570
00:59:14,009 --> 00:59:15,920
These fucking guys,
they kidnap us
1571
00:59:16,011 --> 00:59:17,491
and they leave us
in the woods to die.
1572
00:59:17,554 --> 00:59:20,467
Yeah, then they steal
all three of our uniform, eh.
1573
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:22,195
THORNY: These guys put a bear
in our station!
1574
00:59:22,225 --> 00:59:23,225
A real bear. Big bear!
1575
00:59:23,351 --> 00:59:25,308
You don't have
any proof of that.
1576
00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:26,729
A real bear?
1577
00:59:26,897 --> 00:59:29,559
Maybe. And maybe
they deserve a bear!
1578
00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:31,121
- (clamoring)
- Nobody deserves a bear!
1579
00:59:31,151 --> 00:59:32,482
I give a bear to you!
1580
00:59:32,652 --> 00:59:34,484
- We could have been eaten!
- (laughing)
1581
00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:37,984
Why you laughing, Guy?
1582
00:59:39,201 --> 00:59:42,034
Fellas, you are thinking
about this all wrong, eh?
1583
00:59:42,913 --> 00:59:45,996
These guys?
They impersonated officers.
1584
00:59:47,375 --> 00:59:49,867
There is no way they're
holding onto their jobs.
1585
00:59:50,045 --> 00:59:51,160
And I'll do you one better.
1586
00:59:52,506 --> 00:59:55,373
When I get done talking to my
good friend Justin Trudeau...
1587
00:59:55,550 --> 00:59:56,881
Eh, the Prime Minister!
1588
00:59:57,052 --> 00:59:58,634
...I bet you this
whole turnover thing
1589
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:00,506
- goes right out the window.
- Boom!
1590
01:00:00,597 --> 01:00:03,555
So, boys, unpack your bags,
revive those cable bundles,
1591
01:00:03,725 --> 01:00:05,432
'cause you are
not going anywhere.
1592
01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:07,532
I say we celebrate. What are
we having for breakfast?
1593
01:00:07,562 --> 01:00:09,599
- Pancake.
- Pancake, yeah?
1594
01:00:09,773 --> 01:00:11,309
All right.
Oatmeal and raisins it is.
1595
01:00:11,399 --> 01:00:13,310
- Oh.
- Kidding. It's pancakes.
1596
01:00:13,485 --> 01:00:16,193
Eh, pancake! Maybe two eggs
side by each, eh?
1597
01:00:16,363 --> 01:00:17,603
I don't want this oatmeal.
1598
01:00:17,697 --> 01:00:19,608
BELLEFUILLE: Put the raisins
inside the pancake.
1599
01:00:20,742 --> 01:00:22,198
Genevieve, wait.
1600
01:00:22,369 --> 01:00:23,985
You brought this on yourselves.
1601
01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:25,785
They put a bear...
1602
01:00:27,833 --> 01:00:29,574
This is bad, fellas.
1603
01:00:30,418 --> 01:00:32,659
This is "Fred Savage
Ride-Along lncident" bad.
1604
01:00:33,213 --> 01:00:34,703
Tell that to Fred Savage.
1605
01:00:34,881 --> 01:00:37,168
Well, no sense in having
good breakfast go to waste.
1606
01:00:37,342 --> 01:00:38,605
- I've lost my appetite.
- Sorry, man,
1607
01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:40,190
- I'm just not hungry.
- Do you know-- I mean--
1608
01:00:40,220 --> 01:00:42,211
You try to do something
nice for people,
1609
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:44,546
and then it just--
I just-- you know.
1610
01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:46,932
What's the point?
1611
01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:51,308
Stop taking female hormones!
1612
01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:53,890
♪ Making money,
making dollars, making money... ♪
1613
01:00:53,984 --> 01:00:55,349
MAC: Can we
please come in, Cap?
1614
01:00:55,443 --> 01:00:56,899
He's taking years off my life.
1615
01:00:56,987 --> 01:00:57,501
(burping)
1616
01:00:57,516 --> 01:00:59,103
O'HAGAN (on phone):
Just the bad years.
1617
01:00:59,281 --> 01:01:01,321
I'm serious, Cap. I'm about
to snap like a dry twig.
1618
01:01:01,408 --> 01:01:04,008
O'HAGAN: Things are still pretty
dicey here. Best keep Farva away.
1619
01:01:04,119 --> 01:01:06,235
We'll let you know
when the coast is clear.
1620
01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:08,161
(music playing on earphones)
1621
01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,448
(loudly)
Have you heard the new Kanye?
1622
01:01:11,710 --> 01:01:14,247
He's not just about big butts!
He's a really good singer.
1623
01:01:14,337 --> 01:01:15,702
(Farva chewing loudly)
1624
01:01:15,797 --> 01:01:18,539
This is great.
It's like being on the road again.
1625
01:01:19,301 --> 01:01:21,087
I like to chew mint gum
when I'm on the road.
1626
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:23,006
When I'm radio, it's fruit.
1627
01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:26,093
You know, like Juicy Fruit,
Bubblicious, Hubba Bubba.
1628
01:01:26,266 --> 01:01:27,347
Anything fruity.
1629
01:01:27,976 --> 01:01:29,156
On the road,
I like mint, though.
1630
01:01:29,186 --> 01:01:31,266
Mint, mint, mint, mint,
mint, mint, mint, mint, mint.
1631
01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:33,474
And Beech-Nut,
have you tried that?
1632
01:01:33,565 --> 01:01:35,203
"They should call it
"Beech-Not!" (chuckles)
1633
01:01:35,233 --> 01:01:37,019
Oh, shit, I'm gonna
write that down.
1634
01:01:37,777 --> 01:01:38,937
What kind of gum do you chew?
1635
01:01:39,654 --> 01:01:40,985
They should make
a black mint gum.
1636
01:01:41,823 --> 01:01:42,858
That would be choice.
1637
01:01:43,033 --> 01:01:44,899
They could call it
"Minty Black."
1638
01:01:45,285 --> 01:01:46,685
Yeah, I'm gonna
write that down too.
1639
01:01:46,745 --> 01:01:48,406
- No one would buy that.
- What?
1640
01:01:48,580 --> 01:01:49,911
No one would buy
that stupid gum.
1641
01:01:52,876 --> 01:01:53,876
(unzips)
1642
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:55,746
- FARVA: Bullshit.
- (urinating)
1643
01:01:55,837 --> 01:01:57,748
They'd buy it
if it was on Friends.
1644
01:01:57,839 --> 01:01:59,102
Like if Ross
or Rachel chewed it,
1645
01:01:59,132 --> 01:02:00,213
it'd sell like hotcakes.
1646
01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:01,943
Are you a mutant?
You follow me out here
1647
01:02:02,010 --> 01:02:03,565
while I'm pissing
just to tell me this shit?
1648
01:02:03,595 --> 01:02:04,595
Quit looking at my dick.
1649
01:02:04,679 --> 01:02:06,443
I'm not looking at you dick.
We're taking a piss.
1650
01:02:06,473 --> 01:02:08,009
- So, piss.
- I don't have to go.
1651
01:02:10,685 --> 01:02:12,596
I'll fuck that Canadian
right in his back bacon!
1652
01:02:12,687 --> 01:02:13,687
Rod!
1653
01:02:14,898 --> 01:02:16,730
(grunting)
1654
01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:19,145
- (chuckles) Yeah!
- Farva!
1655
01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:21,227
- (siren wailing)
- Farva!
1656
01:02:22,364 --> 01:02:23,364
Farva!
1657
01:02:23,615 --> 01:02:24,980
(tires screech)
1658
01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:29,158
Dumb fuck.
1659
01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:31,487
(alarm beeping)
1660
01:02:34,376 --> 01:02:35,656
- Unbelievable.
- (beeping stops)
1661
01:02:36,378 --> 01:02:38,415
who pops an airbag?
1662
01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:39,505
God. You weigh--
1663
01:02:39,673 --> 01:02:40,673
Fuck.
1664
01:02:43,969 --> 01:02:45,889
You gotta be shitting me.
Don't die on me, Farva.
1665
01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:49,134
Okay. You can do it.
1666
01:03:05,282 --> 01:03:06,317
Oh! Fuck!
1667
01:03:06,908 --> 01:03:07,908
From upside down,
1668
01:03:07,993 --> 01:03:09,950
your mustache looks
like a big hairy smile.
1669
01:03:10,036 --> 01:03:11,258
Why would you
give me the Shocker?
1670
01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:13,700
My way of saying,
"Thanks, honey. You saved my life."
1671
01:03:14,249 --> 01:03:15,990
I was dead. I went to heaven.
1672
01:03:16,251 --> 01:03:17,412
And you were there.
1673
01:03:17,585 --> 01:03:19,622
- You know what you were doing?
- What?
1674
01:03:20,046 --> 01:03:22,538
Trying to make out with me,
sweetheart! I'm on to you.
1675
01:03:22,632 --> 01:03:25,420
(chuckles) Come here.
Give me some more of that.
1676
01:03:25,510 --> 01:03:26,545
(makes kissing noises)
1677
01:03:26,636 --> 01:03:27,717
What the hell is that?
1678
01:03:29,514 --> 01:03:30,879
(Farva groans)
1679
01:03:34,602 --> 01:03:36,388
FARVA: Well, hello, Laverne!
1680
01:03:37,355 --> 01:03:38,470
Looks like the same stuff.
1681
01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:40,559
Yeah, but a shit-ton more of it.
1682
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:44,146
Holy Hindu holidays.
1683
01:03:44,571 --> 01:03:45,902
There's a new guest
at the party.
1684
01:03:47,115 --> 01:03:48,822
AK-47s.
1685
01:03:53,371 --> 01:03:54,452
RABBIT: Hey.
1686
01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:56,029
No, I don't want to hear it, Rabbit.
1687
01:03:56,207 --> 01:03:57,789
Genevieve, could I just explain?
1688
01:03:57,959 --> 01:03:59,449
There is nothing to explain.
1689
01:03:59,627 --> 01:04:01,243
They put bears in our station.
1690
01:04:01,338 --> 01:04:02,453
This is Canada!
1691
01:04:02,630 --> 01:04:04,212
There are bears everywhere.
1692
01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:05,603
There are bears that go through
1693
01:04:05,633 --> 01:04:06,714
my garbage every night.
1694
01:04:06,885 --> 01:04:09,468
I have cereal
with bears in it: Bearios.
1695
01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:11,465
Canada's most popular breakfast.
1696
01:04:11,639 --> 01:04:12,839
LALOUSH:
Someone say "Bearios"?
1697
01:04:13,266 --> 01:04:15,883
(in French accent) Hey there, Genny.
Wanna grab some eats?
1698
01:04:16,227 --> 01:04:17,227
No, thanks.
1699
01:04:17,687 --> 01:04:20,850
Turn that into a maybe
and I'll have your baby.
1700
01:04:20,940 --> 01:04:21,940
(chuckles)
1701
01:04:22,942 --> 01:04:24,478
Lonnie Laloush?
1702
01:04:24,652 --> 01:04:27,110
That's Mon nom.
Don't wear it out, eh?
1703
01:04:27,447 --> 01:04:29,905
You want a hot coffee?
I'm pouring.
1704
01:04:29,991 --> 01:04:31,322
Oui, s'il Te plait.
1705
01:04:32,077 --> 01:04:33,738
"Seems like a real
"dickwa-duh"... huh?
1706
01:04:33,912 --> 01:04:36,950
I told everyone
how wonderful you all are.
1707
01:04:37,123 --> 01:04:40,241
Well, you're not.
You have bad hearts.
1708
01:04:40,418 --> 01:04:41,624
Who wants crème fraiche?
1709
01:04:42,629 --> 01:04:43,710
Nobody?
1710
01:04:43,797 --> 01:04:45,128
(chewing loudly)
1711
01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:47,081
Okay, no crème fraiche!
1712
01:04:48,343 --> 01:04:49,959
- Please just go.
- Genevieve--
1713
01:04:50,136 --> 01:04:51,217
Just go.
1714
01:04:57,018 --> 01:04:58,304
(gun firing)
1715
01:05:01,064 --> 01:05:04,291
They're actually AK-48s.
Illegal in the U.S.
1716
01:05:04,401 --> 01:05:05,401
THORNY: Why 48?
1717
01:05:05,568 --> 01:05:08,435
Because they hold
one extra bullet.
1718
01:05:08,613 --> 01:05:09,653
Yeah, sure. You never know
1719
01:05:09,697 --> 01:05:11,086
when you're gonna
need just one more.
1720
01:05:11,116 --> 01:05:12,236
This one says "Tiger Penis."
1721
01:05:12,325 --> 01:05:13,325
Suck it!
1722
01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:14,650
Shut up, Farva.
1723
01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:15,965
The Chinese use it
to get hard-ons.
1724
01:05:15,995 --> 01:05:17,384
I tried to get it once.
You can't buy it
1725
01:05:17,414 --> 01:05:18,745
- in the United States.
- (scoffs)
1726
01:05:21,209 --> 01:05:23,207
Dude, what's up
with your mustache?
1727
01:05:23,238 --> 01:05:24,301
Nothing.
1728
01:05:26,026 --> 01:05:27,940
Are you wearing a mustache wig?
1729
01:05:27,971 --> 01:05:30,218
It's a postiche, okay?
I'm having a little hair loss.
1730
01:05:30,249 --> 01:05:31,190
Don't worry about it.
1731
01:05:31,221 --> 01:05:33,135
Worry about your
own goddamn mustache.
1732
01:05:33,471 --> 01:05:34,757
Fuckin' asshole.
1733
01:05:34,931 --> 01:05:36,672
Mac tell you guys
about our little moment?
1734
01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:38,552
Did you, Mac and Cheese?
1735
01:05:38,726 --> 01:05:40,686
You told us, Farva.
I don't want to hear it again.
1736
01:05:40,937 --> 01:05:42,348
I'm the Cheese.
1737
01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:43,493
THORNY:
All right, look, guys.
1738
01:05:43,523 --> 01:05:44,869
I know we're
in some serious shit here,
1739
01:05:44,899 --> 01:05:46,099
but if we can crack this case,
1740
01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:47,398
we might just be able to get
1741
01:05:47,485 --> 01:05:48,665
beyond this whole Mountie thing.
1742
01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:49,935
We didn't do anything.
1743
01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:51,418
Foster, we kidnapped and impersonated
1744
01:05:51,448 --> 01:05:52,688
officers of a sovereign nation.
1745
01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:54,314
Right.
1746
01:05:54,492 --> 01:05:57,450
Cuban cigars, Canadian pills,
counterfeit cell phones,
1747
01:05:57,537 --> 01:05:58,948
AK-48s and Tiger Penis.
1748
01:05:59,122 --> 01:06:00,122
What's the link?
1749
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:03,452
All this stuff is
more valuable in the U.S.
1750
01:06:03,543 --> 01:06:04,543
than in Canada.
1751
01:06:04,711 --> 01:06:05,951
So, it's a smuggling operation.
1752
01:06:05,990 --> 01:06:07,809
Someone is trying to move
this shit over the border.
1753
01:06:07,839 --> 01:06:08,839
No, they're not.
1754
01:06:09,674 --> 01:06:11,312
Think about it.
This stuff is just sitting
1755
01:06:11,342 --> 01:06:12,717
here on Canadian land.
Yeah. Okay.
1756
01:06:12,748 --> 01:06:14,764
But what happens
when this Canadian land
1757
01:06:14,795 --> 01:06:16,465
becomes American land?
1758
01:06:16,639 --> 01:06:20,052
No need to move it at all.
It's already on U.S. soil.
1759
01:06:20,226 --> 01:06:21,637
Exactly, huh?
1760
01:06:21,728 --> 01:06:24,311
Passive smuggling. (chuckles)
It's my kind of crime.
1761
01:06:24,481 --> 01:06:26,848
So, they must have this shit
stashed all along the border.
1762
01:06:27,025 --> 01:06:28,390
Yeah. But who is "they"?
1763
01:06:28,568 --> 01:06:30,058
Who "are" they?
1764
01:06:30,236 --> 01:06:31,374
FOSTER:
Look, I said this earlier
1765
01:06:31,404 --> 01:06:32,484
and you guys laughed at me.
1766
01:06:32,572 --> 01:06:35,940
But I think it's the Mounties.
They are shit people. Okay?
1767
01:06:36,117 --> 01:06:37,917
And they smoke Cubans cigars.
We've seen that.
1768
01:06:38,077 --> 01:06:39,841
They're getting transferred
to God knows where.
1769
01:06:39,871 --> 01:06:40,952
What do they have to lose?
1770
01:06:41,122 --> 01:06:44,285
I am starting to agree with
Sherlock McSerpico over here.
1771
01:06:45,418 --> 01:06:46,453
Ooh!
1772
01:06:46,544 --> 01:06:47,544
I'm telling you, fellas.
1773
01:06:47,629 --> 01:06:49,540
In my experience,
it's always the local cops.
1774
01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:51,769
What would you guys give me
if I kill that bird?
1775
01:06:51,799 --> 01:06:52,960
Farva, that's a bald eagle!
1776
01:06:53,134 --> 01:06:54,249
Get a wig, baldy!
1777
01:06:57,305 --> 01:06:58,887
- Yeah!
- (eagle cawing)
1778
01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:00,304
Put the goddamn gun down.
1779
01:07:00,475 --> 01:07:02,512
- What?
- (eagle screeches, whimpers)
1780
01:07:02,602 --> 01:07:04,934
Oh, booyah!
Guys, what do I win?
1781
01:07:05,104 --> 01:07:06,890
A one-way ticket to hell.
1782
01:07:07,065 --> 01:07:09,022
(music playing)
1783
01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:12,361
(blows raspberry)
1784
01:07:12,445 --> 01:07:14,356
This place wishes
it was Shenanigans.
1785
01:07:14,531 --> 01:07:15,817
Welcome to Chicanery's, eh!
1786
01:07:16,574 --> 01:07:17,574
Can I get you a booth?
1787
01:07:17,742 --> 01:07:19,858
Uh, no. We're meeting
somebody here.
1788
01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:21,071
Oh, yeah, there he is.
1789
01:07:21,246 --> 01:07:23,157
♪ I'll pay the rent ♪
1790
01:07:23,790 --> 01:07:26,703
♪ God knows I've done you wrong... ♪
1791
01:07:26,793 --> 01:07:28,723
FOSTER: Chief, we've been
looking all over for you.
1792
01:07:28,753 --> 01:07:30,475
- Cap. Cap.
- Cap, I think we've figured it out!
1793
01:07:30,505 --> 01:07:31,768
Chief. I think we cracked the thing.
1794
01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:33,019
- What are you doing?
- I'm just--
1795
01:07:33,049 --> 01:07:35,209
What are you doing?
I've been waiting here for an hour.
1796
01:07:35,260 --> 01:07:37,065
- You're gonna want to know this.
- This is my song.
1797
01:07:37,095 --> 01:07:39,856
- I know, but listen. I think--
- I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down.
1798
01:07:39,889 --> 01:07:41,345
- No, no, no.
- I'm singing here.
1799
01:07:41,432 --> 01:07:43,048
I'm singing here.
Sit the fuck down!
1800
01:07:46,312 --> 01:07:51,148
♪ Bill Bailey,
won't you please come home... ♪
1801
01:07:51,693 --> 01:07:53,058
What can I get for you guys?
1802
01:07:53,152 --> 01:07:55,268
Maybe a cold beer?
Liter of cola?
1803
01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:56,655
What did you say?
1804
01:07:56,906 --> 01:07:58,026
Do you want a liter of cola?
1805
01:07:58,074 --> 01:07:59,360
You have that here?
1806
01:07:59,534 --> 01:08:00,899
Yeah, we got
the Decaliter Delight.
1807
01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:03,157
You get a punch card,
you rack up ten liters of cola,
1808
01:08:03,204 --> 01:08:04,324
get yourself a free dessert.
1809
01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:06,030
Bring them all.
Bring them all right now.
1810
01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:08,935
Bring all ten liters
and the punch card.
1811
01:08:09,002 --> 01:08:10,037
I want it all right now.
1812
01:08:12,213 --> 01:08:13,213
Come on.
1813
01:08:13,298 --> 01:08:14,880
Canada is pretty awesome.
1814
01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:17,128
- Boop boop.
- Uh, don't do that.
1815
01:08:17,218 --> 01:08:19,630
- Boop beep boo boop beep.
- (stutters) Cut the crap.
1816
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:28,389
- Genevieve?
- (sighs)
1817
01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:31,562
I feel terrible
about what I said to you.
1818
01:08:31,733 --> 01:08:33,770
I know I overreacted.
1819
01:08:34,027 --> 01:08:37,270
It's just the town is so upset
about the turnover.
1820
01:08:37,363 --> 01:08:38,363
Sure.
1821
01:08:38,448 --> 01:08:40,280
Anyway,
you are not a bad person,
1822
01:08:40,366 --> 01:08:42,232
even if you are American.
1823
01:08:42,327 --> 01:08:43,327
(laughs)
1824
01:08:43,745 --> 01:08:45,425
Well, I've actually been
working on that for you.
1825
01:08:45,455 --> 01:08:46,455
- For me?
- Yeah.
1826
01:08:46,623 --> 01:08:48,862
Moosehead. Canadian beer.
1827
01:08:49,167 --> 01:08:51,158
Beaver chili. Très canadien.
1828
01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:52,367
(laughs)
1829
01:08:52,462 --> 01:08:54,453
And I've been working
on my French too.
1830
01:08:55,590 --> 01:08:57,206
- (Romantic song playing)
- (gasps)
1831
01:08:57,300 --> 01:08:59,462
Oh, I love this song!
1832
01:09:00,136 --> 01:09:03,595
Oh, ,it reminds me of summers
on Etang de la Soupe Aux Pois.
1833
01:09:04,057 --> 01:09:05,923
(singing along in French)
1834
01:09:18,404 --> 01:09:21,317
Wow! That's very good.
1835
01:09:21,407 --> 01:09:24,445
Oh, I wouldn't say that, but
I don't even know what it means.
1836
01:09:24,619 --> 01:09:28,157
It's a sad song about
the Nazi Occupation of France.
1837
01:09:29,582 --> 01:09:30,697
Oh.
1838
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:32,115
I'm sorry. I--
1839
01:09:32,293 --> 01:09:33,408
No. No, no.
1840
01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:35,042
It's about two lovers
1841
01:09:35,129 --> 01:09:37,837
trapped in a war that neither wanted,
1842
01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:41,337
but they love each other anyway.
1843
01:09:42,053 --> 01:09:43,168
Oh.
1844
01:09:43,262 --> 01:09:45,424
So much better. (chuckles)
1845
01:09:48,017 --> 01:09:49,633
(song continues playing)
1846
01:09:58,486 --> 01:09:59,976
- ls this really happening?
- Oh, yes.
1847
01:10:01,781 --> 01:10:02,896
I love it.
1848
01:10:03,074 --> 01:10:04,564
(Genevieve moaning)
1849
01:10:04,659 --> 01:10:05,740
Wait, wait, wait.
1850
01:10:05,827 --> 01:10:07,587
- Where is the fat one's desk?
- Right there.
1851
01:10:07,704 --> 01:10:08,704
Okay.
1852
01:10:08,913 --> 01:10:10,153
You don't know his name?
1853
01:10:10,331 --> 01:10:11,787
Flarvla.
1854
01:10:11,874 --> 01:10:13,535
(chuckles)
I smell a new nickname.
1855
01:10:14,419 --> 01:10:15,875
Guess we hurry.
1856
01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:24,797
Passive smuggling?
It's brilliant.
1857
01:10:24,887 --> 01:10:25,983
And it's gotta be the Mounties.
1858
01:10:26,013 --> 01:10:27,013
- Why?
- (Farva slurping)
1859
01:10:27,098 --> 01:10:28,554
'Cause it's always the local cops.
1860
01:10:28,891 --> 01:10:29,891
Here's your punch card.
1861
01:10:32,270 --> 01:10:34,181
Five, six, seven, eight.
1862
01:10:34,564 --> 01:10:36,805
Number nine. This is ten.
1863
01:10:36,983 --> 01:10:39,350
Technically, you have to drink
all ten to get the dessert.
1864
01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:40,527
Oh, you challenging me?
1865
01:10:40,611 --> 01:10:41,971
This will be gone
in three seconds.
1866
01:10:42,071 --> 01:10:43,732
I'll have
the butter tart yule log.
1867
01:10:43,823 --> 01:10:45,405
Come on. Chop-chop!
1868
01:10:45,867 --> 01:10:47,483
MAC: Just do it, dude.
1869
01:10:49,954 --> 01:10:51,240
Canada!
1870
01:10:51,664 --> 01:10:52,699
And the beauty is,
1871
01:10:52,790 --> 01:10:54,595
there's nothing they can do
with all that contraband
1872
01:10:54,625 --> 01:10:56,241
until this land becomes America.
1873
01:10:56,419 --> 01:10:58,751
So all we have to do
is push back the turnover,
1874
01:10:58,838 --> 01:11:00,545
until we can find
the rest of the stuff.
1875
01:11:00,631 --> 01:11:01,811
O'HAGAN:
Well, you heard LeFranc.
1876
01:11:01,841 --> 01:11:03,752
Who knows what's gonna happen
with the turnover?
1877
01:11:03,926 --> 01:11:06,338
Whatever happens,
we gotta solve this case. Now.
1878
01:11:07,138 --> 01:11:09,004
Let's take another look
at that contraband.
1879
01:11:09,098 --> 01:11:10,818
- We may have missed something.
- (slurping)
1880
01:11:11,434 --> 01:11:13,926
Hold on! I didn't
get my free dessert.
1881
01:11:14,020 --> 01:11:15,020
Move it, Farva!
1882
01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:17,015
Come on! It's a fuckin'
butter tart yule log!
1883
01:11:17,190 --> 01:11:18,806
O'HAGAN: Let's go! Now!
1884
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:20,435
Damn it.
1885
01:11:22,945 --> 01:11:24,686
Oh! Whoa! Watch it, pal.
1886
01:11:24,864 --> 01:11:26,775
Walk faster, finger blaster.
1887
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,736
(both exhale)
1888
01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:39,625
Son of a-- Rabbit!
1889
01:11:40,797 --> 01:11:42,629
Whoa!
The booty is gone!
1890
01:11:42,799 --> 01:11:44,039
Did they take the Flova Scotia?
1891
01:11:45,218 --> 01:11:46,834
In addition to Rabbit!
1892
01:11:47,678 --> 01:11:49,760
Hold your bones. Rabbit's car.
1893
01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,763
FARVA:
The dash cam! Look at this.
1894
01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:53,298
Ooh, you clever little prick, you.
1895
01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:54,932
Prick? I'm tired
of these putdowns!
1896
01:11:55,102 --> 01:11:56,388
It's a compliment, shithead.
1897
01:11:56,562 --> 01:11:58,769
Fuck you, midget Burt Reynolds.
1898
01:12:00,775 --> 01:12:02,561
- FARVA: Mm.
- THORNY: Mm-mm.
1899
01:12:04,028 --> 01:12:05,985
MAC: (chuckles)
Oh, a little ménage à two.
1900
01:12:06,072 --> 01:12:07,608
FARVA AND MAC: Mm.
1901
01:12:08,699 --> 01:12:10,235
MAC: Ah.
THORNY: Yeah, partner.
1902
01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:11,612
- (chuckles)
- (howls)
1903
01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:14,577
Can you believe she picked
Donnie Osmond over me?
1904
01:12:14,664 --> 01:12:16,450
- MAC: Yes.
- ls anyone else shocked here?
1905
01:12:16,624 --> 01:12:17,910
- MAC: No.
- And on my desk?
1906
01:12:18,084 --> 01:12:20,291
O'HAGAN: Shut up, Farva.
This is serious.
1907
01:12:20,378 --> 01:12:22,164
- ALL: Whoa!
- What the fuck?
1908
01:12:22,338 --> 01:12:23,858
THORNY: Now how are we
gonna find them?
1909
01:12:23,965 --> 01:12:26,297
All those iPhones had the same number.
1910
01:12:26,467 --> 01:12:28,378
Now, if we only had a triangulator,
1911
01:12:28,469 --> 01:12:29,504
we could locate them.
1912
01:12:30,930 --> 01:12:33,262
Aha! Take that, you bastards.
1913
01:12:33,808 --> 01:12:35,515
MAC: Those are the phones
right there.
1914
01:12:35,601 --> 01:12:36,636
Enhance.
1915
01:12:37,895 --> 01:12:39,306
All right,
but what is this place?
1916
01:12:39,397 --> 01:12:40,397
Enhance.
1917
01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:44,228
- Enhance.
- Okay, okay.
1918
01:12:44,402 --> 01:12:46,268
FOSTER: "Sciere de la Vache."
1919
01:12:46,445 --> 01:12:48,565
All right, you guys speak
French, what does that mean?
1920
01:12:48,614 --> 01:12:51,948
(smacks lips)
I don't know what "sciere" means
1921
01:12:52,034 --> 01:12:53,900
and I also don't know
what "vache" means.
1922
01:12:54,078 --> 01:12:56,160
THORNY: So you really
don't understand anything?
1923
01:12:56,330 --> 01:12:57,661
Sciere de la Vache?
1924
01:12:57,748 --> 01:13:00,206
"I believe it's
“The Scary Vase."
1925
01:13:00,376 --> 01:13:02,617
MAC: Yeah, yeah.
Let's see, sciere is "beetle."
1926
01:13:02,795 --> 01:13:04,706
Beetle vase. No. Yes.
1927
01:13:04,881 --> 01:13:08,044
Yeah. But la vache is "angry."
“Angry Beetle."
1928
01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:09,833
- Okay.
- Yeah. Angry Beetle, we think.
1929
01:13:10,011 --> 01:13:12,753
It's "The Sawmill of the Cow,"
you idiots!"
1930
01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:14,420
It's a sawmill!
1931
01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:17,216
- Why "Sawmill of the Cow"?
- It doesn't make any sense.
1932
01:13:17,518 --> 01:13:19,555
Let's go and give those
Canuckleheads
1933
01:13:19,645 --> 01:13:21,682
a good old-fashioned
red-white-and-blue,
1934
01:13:21,856 --> 01:13:23,142
fist-fucking!
1935
01:13:23,232 --> 01:13:24,672
- (all cheering)
- Yeah! Let's do it!
1936
01:13:26,444 --> 01:13:27,559
Shotgun! Shotgun! Shotgun!
1937
01:13:27,945 --> 01:13:28,945
Whoa!
1938
01:13:29,363 --> 01:13:30,478
Shit.
1939
01:13:30,573 --> 01:13:32,253
- (sirens wailing)
- ♪ You didn't want to scratch ♪
1940
01:13:32,283 --> 01:13:33,443
♪ But then you got the itch ♪
1941
01:13:33,492 --> 01:13:36,532
♪ You know you're always paying for the
shit that's free, it's not easy... ♪
1942
01:13:37,204 --> 01:13:39,536
Hey, pull over.
I gotta take a pee-ahs.
1943
01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:41,053
Shouldn't have drank
all that soda.
1944
01:13:41,083 --> 01:13:43,620
♪ I tried to make it easy,
never stop the flow... ♪
1945
01:13:43,711 --> 01:13:44,792
It just now occurred to me,
1946
01:13:44,879 --> 01:13:46,517
you and I have never been
alone together before.
1947
01:13:46,547 --> 01:13:48,037
- Yeah, thank God.
- (scoffs)
1948
01:13:49,091 --> 01:13:51,583
Seriously. Have we ever had
a one-on-one conversation?
1949
01:13:51,677 --> 01:13:53,793
Why would we?
You seem like a pretty boring dude.
1950
01:13:55,556 --> 01:13:57,467
You still banging
that blonde cop, or...
1951
01:13:58,309 --> 01:14:01,176
♪ You say you want to finish,
but you never start ♪
1952
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:04,012
♪ You want to get it finished,
but you just try hard... ♪
1953
01:14:04,106 --> 01:14:05,161
Where the hell are they going?
1954
01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:07,933
♪ It don't take nothing fancy,
it's just ABC's... ♪
1955
01:14:08,152 --> 01:14:09,392
That was the turn, back there.
1956
01:14:10,321 --> 01:14:12,187
Are you sure?
I-- I don't think so.
1957
01:14:12,365 --> 01:14:14,322
Have you completely lost
your sense of direction?
1958
01:14:14,492 --> 01:14:16,574
Well, your yelling at me
certainly doesn't help!
1959
01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:18,257
Cap's right, though.
That was the turn.
1960
01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:19,777
Shut up, Mr. Perfect.
1961
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:23,122
- MAC AND O'HAGAN: Whoa!
- (tires screeching)
1962
01:14:23,209 --> 01:14:24,769
♪That it's easier without complexity ♪
1963
01:14:24,835 --> 01:14:27,827
♪ Too broke to pay attention,
better get you some ♪
1964
01:14:27,922 --> 01:14:31,040
♪ When trouble's up
I double up on bubble gum ♪
1965
01:14:31,133 --> 01:14:32,339
(music turns off)
1966
01:14:33,219 --> 01:14:34,300
(sighs)
1967
01:14:35,846 --> 01:14:38,178
- (switch clicks)
- ♪...without complexity♪
1968
01:14:38,265 --> 01:14:39,881
♪ You want the good stuff ♪
1969
01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:41,572
- ♪ You want the big hit... ♪
- I saw that!
1970
01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:43,764
- Where are those female sex pills?
- Cap!
1971
01:14:43,854 --> 01:14:45,219
Give them to me!
Give them to me!
1972
01:14:45,314 --> 01:14:47,976
♪ But if you close your eyes,
then you won't see ♪
1973
01:14:48,067 --> 01:14:51,150
♪ That it's easier without complexity ♪
1974
01:14:51,904 --> 01:14:52,904
- Thank you.
- (sighs)
1975
01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:09,831
THORNY: (whispering)
No sign of Rabbit.
1976
01:15:10,006 --> 01:15:11,622
But I got two Mountie cars
1977
01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:14,749
and our contraband.
1978
01:15:15,386 --> 01:15:16,467
Where the hell is Farva?
1979
01:15:18,723 --> 01:15:20,384
Ah. I got him.
1980
01:15:21,392 --> 01:15:23,008
(Farva sneezes and farts)
1981
01:15:23,102 --> 01:15:25,389
FOSTER: He's like a walking
hydrothermal explosion.
1982
01:15:26,188 --> 01:15:28,350
You want to see
some fartography?
1983
01:15:30,526 --> 01:15:31,664
FARVA:
I'm still gonna go back
1984
01:15:31,694 --> 01:15:33,105
and get that
butter tart yule log.
1985
01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:36,942
All right, boys.
Let's milk this cow.
1986
01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:44,445
(keys jangling)
1987
01:15:44,540 --> 01:15:45,970
PODIEN:
I moved this stuff the last time.
1988
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:47,680
BELLEFUILLE:
I don't want to lift it either.
1989
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:48,931
PODIEN:
You don't move anything.
1990
01:15:48,961 --> 01:15:51,077
You don't move your body,
you don't move boxes.
1991
01:15:53,049 --> 01:15:54,380
One, two, three, go!
1992
01:15:59,055 --> 01:16:00,216
Freeze! You're under arrest!
1993
01:16:00,389 --> 01:16:02,426
Bullshit, eh!
You're under arrest!
1994
01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:03,880
Bullshit, you fucking smugglers!
1995
01:16:03,934 --> 01:16:05,781
We're not the smugglers!
You're the fucking smugglers.
1996
01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:07,033
We're not the fucking smugglers!
1997
01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:08,117
You're the fucking smugglers!
1998
01:16:08,147 --> 01:16:09,433
O'HAGAN:
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
1999
01:16:09,523 --> 01:16:11,264
Everyone, lower your weapons!
2000
01:16:11,442 --> 01:16:12,477
Something is not right.
2001
01:16:12,651 --> 01:16:15,564
Wait, wait, wait.
The old-timey one is right.
2002
01:16:15,738 --> 01:16:17,524
Something doesn't add up here.
2003
01:16:18,532 --> 01:16:20,022
'(growls) '(grunts)
2004
01:16:20,117 --> 01:16:22,154
- THORNY: Oh, shit!
- Die, you fucking smuggler!
2005
01:16:22,328 --> 01:16:23,489
O'HAGAN: Farva, you idiot!
2006
01:16:23,579 --> 01:16:24,785
(clamoring)
2007
01:16:24,872 --> 01:16:26,738
Put the gun down!
Put the gun down!
2008
01:16:26,916 --> 01:16:28,247
Fuck you. Fuck you.
2009
01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:29,334
Put down the fuckin' gun!
2010
01:16:29,418 --> 01:16:31,375
Drop the gun,
I don't want to shoot!
2011
01:16:31,545 --> 01:16:32,910
You fuckin' Canadians!
2012
01:16:33,005 --> 01:16:34,005
Cool.
2013
01:16:34,090 --> 01:16:35,251
(both whimper)
2014
01:16:35,549 --> 01:16:36,880
What the fuck
are you guys doing?
2015
01:16:37,676 --> 01:16:38,962
(lights switch on)
2016
01:16:41,097 --> 01:16:42,883
GUY: (singing)
Blinded by the light
2017
01:16:42,973 --> 01:16:43,973
Apropos, right?
2018
01:16:44,517 --> 01:16:45,928
Go on, kill each other.
2019
01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:47,268
What ever happened to
2020
01:16:47,353 --> 01:16:48,935
"Shoot first
and ask questions later"?
2021
01:16:49,355 --> 01:16:51,266
Uh, what the shit, Guy?
Why you tell us
2022
01:16:51,357 --> 01:16:52,847
these guys are
the smuggler, huh?
2023
01:16:53,025 --> 01:16:54,413
Well, it's a lot smarter
than telling you
2024
01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:55,443
that I'm the smuggler.
2025
01:16:55,861 --> 01:16:57,898
What do you mean,
you're the smuggler?
2026
01:16:58,072 --> 01:17:00,530
I'm sorry, but what else
was I gonna do?
2027
01:17:00,699 --> 01:17:02,815
Being the mayor
of a small Canadian town
2028
01:17:02,910 --> 01:17:04,150
sounds romantic and cool.
2029
01:17:04,328 --> 01:17:06,035
Being the mayor
of a small American town
2030
01:17:06,122 --> 01:17:08,454
sounds like you're a loser.
For reals.
2031
01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:09,997
- (both laughing)
- You gotta admit
2032
01:17:10,084 --> 01:17:12,542
it's a good scam.
All along the borderline.
2033
01:17:12,711 --> 01:17:13,997
But I never would've
thought that
2034
01:17:14,088 --> 01:17:16,045
the guys from
the Fred Savage incident
2035
01:17:16,215 --> 01:17:17,956
would be the ones to trip me up.
2036
01:17:18,134 --> 01:17:19,841
These are the cops
that killed Fred Savage?
2037
01:17:19,927 --> 01:17:20,927
Sadly.
2038
01:17:21,345 --> 01:17:25,805
But I will say this little
rivalry between police forces,
2039
01:17:25,975 --> 01:17:27,932
is the perfect opportunity
to take you both out.
2040
01:17:28,102 --> 01:17:29,467
Well, now we're taking you in.
2041
01:17:29,562 --> 01:17:30,973
(chuckles) I'm sorry.
2042
01:17:31,063 --> 01:17:32,623
But that's not the way
it's going to go.
2043
01:17:33,232 --> 01:17:35,018
Henri, if you would be so kind.
2044
01:17:36,902 --> 01:17:38,563
- THORNY: No!
- MAC: Oh, Jesus.
2045
01:17:38,737 --> 01:17:40,167
- FARVA: Holy shit!
- And do pay attention
2046
01:17:40,197 --> 01:17:41,252
to that man behind the curtain.
2047
01:17:41,282 --> 01:17:42,898
(muffled whimpering)
2048
01:17:46,370 --> 01:17:47,810
GUY: Your Rabbit
wasn't quick enough.
2049
01:17:47,872 --> 01:17:49,954
Maybe next time,
he'll hop a little faster, eh?
2050
01:17:50,124 --> 01:17:51,239
If anything happens to him,
2051
01:17:51,333 --> 01:17:53,199
I'm gonna fuck you
six ways to Sunday!
2052
01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:56,915
Jeez Louise. Now I know who
gobbled all my Flova Scotia.
2053
01:17:57,006 --> 01:17:58,212
(both chuckling)
2054
01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:00,419
So, drop your guns,
2055
01:18:00,676 --> 01:18:02,508
or the Rabbit and his girlfriend
2056
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:06,133
will multiply
in gruesome fashion.
2057
01:18:06,640 --> 01:18:07,640
I'm so sorry.
2058
01:18:09,059 --> 01:18:10,970
(machine whirring)
2059
01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:13,117
Let her go, Guy. She has
nothing to do with this!
2060
01:18:13,147 --> 01:18:15,809
If they put their guns down,
no harm will come to her.
2061
01:18:19,486 --> 01:18:20,486
Go on. Drop them.
2062
01:18:21,655 --> 01:18:23,441
(softly) Drop your guns.
Drop it.
2063
01:18:27,411 --> 01:18:28,947
GUY:
Now get those hands in the air.
2064
01:18:29,788 --> 01:18:30,788
Like you just don't care.
2065
01:18:33,375 --> 01:18:34,786
So, are you ready...
2066
01:18:38,714 --> 01:18:39,875
for the big twist?
2067
01:18:42,176 --> 01:18:43,176
(whistles)
2068
01:18:43,427 --> 01:18:44,713
(shuddering)
2069
01:18:48,682 --> 01:18:50,468
What the fuck?
2070
01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:54,055
What are you doing? What?
2071
01:18:55,147 --> 01:18:56,763
Shut the front door!
2072
01:18:56,941 --> 01:18:58,056
RABBIT: Genevieve.
2073
01:18:59,068 --> 01:19:00,308
What the hell is going on here?
2074
01:19:00,527 --> 01:19:01,887
Let me go.
Let me out of my chains.
2075
01:19:02,196 --> 01:19:04,358
What the fuck
took you so long, Guy?
2076
01:19:04,698 --> 01:19:07,030
First I have to have
his circumcised dick in me
2077
01:19:07,201 --> 01:19:08,783
and then you tie me to this log?
2078
01:19:08,953 --> 01:19:12,241
(French) Sorry, my dear. Had to
keep up appearances.
2079
01:19:12,546 --> 01:19:15,077
I can still smell
the American on me.
2080
01:19:15,334 --> 01:19:18,122
Smells like... hot dog water.
2081
01:19:18,587 --> 01:19:20,043
Are you fucking kidding me?
2082
01:19:20,207 --> 01:19:21,948
(bids good-bye in French)
2083
01:19:22,841 --> 01:19:23,841
I hate you!
2084
01:19:24,218 --> 01:19:25,218
I hate you.
2085
01:19:25,344 --> 01:19:26,344
Shoot them.
2086
01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:29,264
Shoot them all.
2087
01:19:29,431 --> 01:19:30,637
With pleasure, boss.
2088
01:19:31,892 --> 01:19:33,006
FARVA: Hold on!
2089
01:19:33,102 --> 01:19:36,436
If I'm going down,
I'm going down American!
2090
01:19:37,147 --> 01:19:41,141
♪ Oh say can you sing ♪
2091
01:19:41,318 --> 01:19:44,561
♪ By the dawn's early fight ♪
2092
01:19:45,072 --> 01:19:48,861
♪ What so loudly we sail ♪
2093
01:19:49,326 --> 01:19:52,694
♪ At the nightlife on the street ♪
2094
01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:56,535
♪ And the red rocking chair' ♪
2095
01:19:57,001 --> 01:20:00,119
♪ The bombs gasping for air ♪
2096
01:20:00,713 --> 01:20:03,705
♪ Gave proof in the life ♪
2097
01:20:03,882 --> 01:20:05,602
All right, all right,
enough with that song.
2098
01:20:06,677 --> 01:20:07,677
Shoot them.
2099
01:20:07,761 --> 01:20:09,047
'(gunshots) '(grunts)
2100
01:20:09,138 --> 01:20:11,345
(rock music plays)
2101
01:20:11,432 --> 01:20:13,093
(screaming)
2102
01:20:15,936 --> 01:20:17,518
Hurry, it's about
to slice my Johnson!
2103
01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:22,481
♪ It's going real fast... ♪
2104
01:20:22,568 --> 01:20:23,568
This is not happening.
2105
01:20:23,652 --> 01:20:25,572
♪ And you got it right now,
but I don't see it ♪
2106
01:20:28,073 --> 01:20:29,295
- (whimpering)
- ♪ Secret plans ♪
2107
01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:33,239
♪ Midnight missions,
with emotion, ooh, ooh... ♪
2108
01:20:33,912 --> 01:20:35,175
- (rapid gunfire)
- (Thorny yelling)
2109
01:20:35,205 --> 01:20:37,492
♪ Midnight missions,
with emotion... ♪
2110
01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:39,540
That was a hell
of a thing to do.
2111
01:20:39,710 --> 01:20:42,042
I guess my maternal
instinct is kicking in.
2112
01:20:42,129 --> 01:20:44,849
♪ I'm really not sure but then
I want it, man, but I don't need it ♪
2113
01:20:44,923 --> 01:20:46,254
- (guns firing)
- (speaks French)
2114
01:20:46,342 --> 01:20:47,377
What'?
2115
01:20:47,551 --> 01:20:48,586
Shoot the cow.
2116
01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:50,216
- ♪ Secret plans... ♪'
- Ahh..!
2117
01:20:50,247 --> 01:20:51,176
♪ Midnight missions ♪
2118
01:20:51,263 --> 01:20:54,051
♪ With emotion, ooh, ooh ♪
2119
01:20:54,141 --> 01:20:56,758
♪ Secret plans, midnight missions ♪
2120
01:20:56,852 --> 01:20:58,308
♪ With emotion ♪
2121
01:20:58,395 --> 01:21:00,352
Damn it!
I'm out of bullets!
2122
01:21:00,939 --> 01:21:01,939
I got one more!
2123
01:21:02,274 --> 01:21:03,274
Make it count!
2124
01:21:03,359 --> 01:21:06,602
♪ What I want, what I want,
what I want, what I want ♪
2125
01:21:09,114 --> 01:21:10,650
♪ What I want, what I want... ♪
2126
01:21:10,741 --> 01:21:11,902
Oh!
2127
01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:13,409
Ow.
2128
01:21:14,620 --> 01:21:15,985
(whimpering)
2129
01:21:16,288 --> 01:21:18,154
- (grunting)
- (cheering)
2130
01:21:18,415 --> 01:21:19,905
Gotta love that 48th bullet.
2131
01:21:20,667 --> 01:21:21,707
Drop it! Drop your weapon!
2132
01:21:21,752 --> 01:21:23,459
ARCHAMBAULT: Come on,
get up from the dirt.
2133
01:21:23,545 --> 01:21:26,378
Come on! (screams)
I'm about to get neutered!
2134
01:21:26,465 --> 01:21:27,561
Hang on!
4 got you- I got you.
2135
01:21:27,591 --> 01:21:29,151
Get me outta here!
(laughs hysterically)
2136
01:21:29,510 --> 01:21:31,626
(whimpering)
Get me off this!
2137
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,085
♪ What I want, what I want... ♪
2138
01:21:33,180 --> 01:21:34,180
I don't think so.
2139
01:21:34,264 --> 01:21:38,349
Okay. Now you've lit the fuse
of the Halifax Explosion.
2140
01:21:38,852 --> 01:21:40,388
Yeah. In my day...
2141
01:21:41,063 --> 01:21:42,724
when your big boy teeth came in,
2142
01:21:42,815 --> 01:21:44,415
your hockey coach would
pull them out...
2143
01:21:45,025 --> 01:21:46,390
so you wouldn't miss a shift.
2144
01:21:46,485 --> 01:21:47,975
Yeah? In my country,
2145
01:21:48,445 --> 01:21:50,402
we let the Tooth Fairy
deal with that shit.
2146
01:21:50,572 --> 01:21:52,378
You would know all about
fairies, wouldn't you?
2147
01:21:52,408 --> 01:21:54,115
Okay. Let's do this,
moosefucker.
2148
01:21:54,201 --> 01:21:55,339
- Yeah, You want to do it?
- Yeah.
2149
01:21:55,369 --> 01:21:57,299
- Yeah. You wanna go? Yeah.
- Yeah. Let's go. Yeah.
2150
01:21:57,329 --> 01:21:59,249
- You wanna go? You wanna go?
- Yeah. I wanna go.
2151
01:21:59,665 --> 01:22:02,282
(grunts) Ooh, clip-on.
Little tacky, eh?
2152
01:22:02,376 --> 01:22:04,208
(both grunting)
2153
01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:18,047
Yeah!
2154
01:22:18,225 --> 01:22:19,556
That's one former hockey player
2155
01:22:19,643 --> 01:22:20,678
who can shut the puck up!
2156
01:22:20,894 --> 01:22:21,894
Right, guys?
2157
01:22:21,979 --> 01:22:23,344
(Rabbit whimpering)
2158
01:22:23,439 --> 01:22:25,271
Shit, that was a good line.
2159
01:22:26,567 --> 01:22:27,807
(Rabbit screaming)
2160
01:22:28,569 --> 01:22:30,059
O'HAGAN: Come on, damn it!
2161
01:22:30,154 --> 01:22:32,065
Motherfucker!
2162
01:22:33,407 --> 01:22:34,897
(panicked shouting)
2163
01:22:34,992 --> 01:22:36,824
(all yelling)
2164
01:22:36,910 --> 01:22:38,492
(Rabbit screaming)
2165
01:22:41,415 --> 01:22:43,247
(all exclaiming and cheering)
2166
01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:46,542
MAC: That's great!
That's great!
2167
01:22:46,712 --> 01:22:48,767
(in Canadian accent) What the
hell is wrong with you guys?
2168
01:22:48,797 --> 01:22:50,913
It's like none of you Yanks
ever operated
2169
01:22:51,008 --> 01:22:53,340
an industrial grade
rotary timber saw, eh?
2170
01:22:53,510 --> 01:22:55,126
Hey! What about your accent?
2171
01:22:55,888 --> 01:22:59,677
Andrea Spooner,
Ontario Provincial Police.
2172
01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:01,215
- What?
- Shut up!
2173
01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:02,393
What'?
2174
01:23:04,438 --> 01:23:05,958
- (Rabbit screaming)
- (all exclaiming)
2175
01:23:12,738 --> 01:23:15,230
GENEVIEVE: Why is the Vermont
Highway Patrol even here?
2176
01:23:15,407 --> 01:23:17,614
I've been undercover
three years.
2177
01:23:17,784 --> 01:23:18,819
Part of a task force
2178
01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:20,276
with the Organized Crime Unit
2179
01:23:20,370 --> 01:23:22,077
of the Ontario
Provincial Police.
2180
01:23:22,247 --> 01:23:23,612
She's down with OPP.
2181
01:23:23,790 --> 01:23:26,657
You assholes just blew
three years of work for me.
2182
01:23:26,835 --> 01:23:29,293
I was this close
to getting their supplier.
2183
01:23:29,379 --> 01:23:30,619
Now I'll never get 'em.
2184
01:23:30,797 --> 01:23:32,917
Well, I'm happy to offer you
full cooperation of our--
2185
01:23:33,050 --> 01:23:34,290
Shut the fuck up!
2186
01:23:35,385 --> 01:23:36,591
O'HAGAN: Hm.
2187
01:23:37,095 --> 01:23:38,585
- Wow.
- Wow.
2188
01:23:38,764 --> 01:23:40,471
GUY: Hey, guys,
do me a solid, eh?
2189
01:23:40,641 --> 01:23:41,862
When you're sweeping up
back there,
2190
01:23:41,892 --> 01:23:43,113
keep an eye out for my falsies.
2191
01:23:43,143 --> 01:23:45,009
Nah. You're not
going to need teeth
2192
01:23:45,103 --> 01:23:46,138
where you're going, eh.
2193
01:23:46,313 --> 01:23:47,974
You were our hero, Guy.
2194
01:23:48,065 --> 01:23:49,806
A hockey player
who owned a whorehouse.
2195
01:23:49,983 --> 01:23:51,439
And to think you spent 11 years
2196
01:23:51,527 --> 01:23:52,733
in the Canadiens system.
2197
01:23:52,903 --> 01:23:55,270
Newsy Lalonde would be rolling
in his grave right now.
2198
01:23:55,447 --> 01:23:57,939
You would have fit
in good in Calgary, eh.
2199
01:23:58,033 --> 01:23:59,740
Talk about a bunch of goon.
2200
01:23:59,910 --> 01:24:01,507
PODIEN: Especially
that defenseman Bonchance.
2201
01:24:01,537 --> 01:24:02,572
That guy is the worst.
2202
01:24:02,746 --> 01:24:04,032
What a mucker, that guy, eh?
2203
01:24:04,206 --> 01:24:07,119
No, he end up in the QSPHL
by the time he's 38.
2204
01:24:07,292 --> 01:24:08,782
Boring!
2205
01:24:09,586 --> 01:24:12,123
(groaning) Easy! Easy!
2206
01:24:12,548 --> 01:24:13,788
Ah! Oh!
2207
01:24:13,882 --> 01:24:15,418
There he is!
2208
01:24:15,592 --> 01:24:17,072
They wrapped you
in the Japanese flag.
2209
01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:19,002
(continues groaning)
2210
01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:21,299
Hey, man,
thanks for saving my life.
2211
01:24:21,473 --> 01:24:23,635
I don't know what I would
have done without you.
2212
01:24:23,809 --> 01:24:25,569
Oh, that's okay,
I don't need a hug. (groans)
2213
01:24:25,894 --> 01:24:27,180
It's not for you.
2214
01:24:30,065 --> 01:24:31,065
Okay.
2215
01:24:32,568 --> 01:24:35,105
(groaning) Careful, careful, careful!
Ooh! Careful!
2216
01:24:36,530 --> 01:24:38,567
RABBIT:
Ooh. Guys. Easy! Careful!
2217
01:24:39,992 --> 01:24:41,824
Dude, are you lactating?
2218
01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:45,911
I'm just doing what my body
tells me to do, okay?
2219
01:24:46,123 --> 01:24:48,034
(chuckles) Okay, Thorn.
You're the tits!
2220
01:24:48,208 --> 01:24:49,638
Good luck with
the wet T-shirt contest.
2221
01:24:49,668 --> 01:24:51,329
(both laughing)
2222
01:25:05,684 --> 01:25:06,845
Men.
2223
01:25:09,438 --> 01:25:10,438
How you feelin?
2224
01:25:10,606 --> 01:25:11,606
Oh, it's okay.
2225
01:25:12,441 --> 01:25:14,853
I'm so sorry about saying
"I hate you" back there.
2226
01:25:15,027 --> 01:25:17,064
Yeah. I know.
I'm sorry I lied.
2227
01:25:17,237 --> 01:25:18,597
I just can't believe
I didn't know.
2228
01:25:18,739 --> 01:25:21,356
Well, you were very sweet,
but also very gullible.
2229
01:25:27,456 --> 01:25:29,197
Maybe you and I
could get together
2230
01:25:29,291 --> 01:25:31,453
and listen to some
old-timey French music...
2231
01:25:32,210 --> 01:25:33,996
when that gets all healed up.
2232
01:25:34,171 --> 01:25:35,206
Yeah, sure.
2233
01:25:39,092 --> 01:25:40,253
Fuckin' Canadian.
2234
01:25:41,845 --> 01:25:43,051
(chuckles)
2235
01:25:43,805 --> 01:25:45,216
Give me 50 cc's of morphine,
2236
01:25:45,307 --> 01:25:47,187
- shaving cream and a razor.
- A razor for what?
2237
01:25:47,309 --> 01:25:49,656
To remove the hair from your testicles.
I have to stitch you up.
2238
01:25:49,686 --> 01:25:51,575
RABBIT: What? No.
Why would you need to stitch me up?
2239
01:25:51,605 --> 01:25:52,640
It's like a paper cut.
2240
01:25:52,731 --> 01:25:54,578
All we need to do is get
a little Band-Aid. Hey, guys!
2241
01:25:54,608 --> 01:25:55,996
- MAC: Happy trails!
- RABBIT: Guys?
2242
01:25:56,026 --> 01:25:58,814
Looks like the rook is getting
his nuts shaved after all.
2243
01:25:58,904 --> 01:26:00,736
(all laughing)
2244
01:26:01,573 --> 01:26:03,405
(Rabbit screaming)
2245
01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:07,242
- Who wants coffee?
- Sounds good.
2246
01:26:07,329 --> 01:26:08,535
(horn honks)
2247
01:26:14,002 --> 01:26:15,288
Captain O'Hagan!
2248
01:26:16,922 --> 01:26:19,755
I hear you and your men
did some good work.
2249
01:26:19,925 --> 01:26:22,383
We did.
We caught the smugglers.
2250
01:26:22,469 --> 01:26:23,504
Again.
2251
01:26:23,887 --> 01:26:25,002
(yells)
2252
01:26:25,097 --> 01:26:26,508
(screaming)
2253
01:26:26,807 --> 01:26:28,138
What the hell was that?
2254
01:26:29,017 --> 01:26:30,257
FARVA: Oh, shit.
2255
01:26:30,352 --> 01:26:31,717
(laughing)
2256
01:26:33,271 --> 01:26:34,887
FARVA:
Done and done.
2257
01:26:34,981 --> 01:26:36,597
(groaning)
2258
01:26:36,692 --> 01:26:39,559
This little piggy cried,
"God damn! That hurt!"
2259
01:26:39,653 --> 01:26:40,653
(laughs)
2260
01:26:40,737 --> 01:26:42,273
What the hell happened to you?
2261
01:26:42,364 --> 01:26:44,150
Ah. I just lost a pussy bet.
2262
01:26:44,324 --> 01:26:45,814
If "toed" ya,
I'd have to kill ya.
2263
01:26:45,909 --> 01:26:47,115
(laughs) on!
2264
01:26:47,202 --> 01:26:48,909
Watch the hoof! Ow!
Watch the hoof!
2265
01:26:48,995 --> 01:26:50,406
- (stun gun crackling)
- (screaming)
2266
01:26:50,497 --> 01:26:53,364
(in French accent) Officers!
Cassandra Anne Gacek, Action Five News.
2267
01:26:53,542 --> 01:26:55,328
Given your involvement
with this bust
2268
01:26:55,419 --> 01:26:58,252
how does it feel to know
that you are still being replaced?
2269
01:26:59,881 --> 01:27:04,375
You know, when they first arrive,
lam wondering:
2270
01:27:04,678 --> 01:27:06,009
“Who are these people?
2271
01:27:06,096 --> 01:27:07,803
"They come here,
taked our land?"
2272
01:27:08,348 --> 01:27:10,965
But then I have it,
my answer, huh.
2273
01:27:13,687 --> 01:27:16,179
They are heroes.
2274
01:27:16,273 --> 01:27:17,684
CROWD: Aw!
2275
01:27:17,774 --> 01:27:21,984
These men, they puted their
life on the line for us.
2276
01:27:22,154 --> 01:27:25,442
One of them,
he even saved my life.
2277
01:27:25,615 --> 01:27:28,903
This tan guy here
with the wet tits.
2278
01:27:28,994 --> 01:27:30,075
(crowd laughs)
2279
01:27:30,162 --> 01:27:31,243
But we hate Americans!
2280
01:27:31,329 --> 01:27:34,196
I hear you. I hear you.
But I have to tell you,
2281
01:27:34,374 --> 01:27:36,240
if these gentlemen are an example
2282
01:27:36,334 --> 01:27:37,824
of what it means to be American--
2283
01:27:39,087 --> 01:27:42,000
okay-- then I am proud
to be an American too.
2284
01:27:42,174 --> 01:27:44,336
- All right.
- I am. I'm proud to be American.
2285
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:47,297
So, we're leaving
to start our station up north,
2286
01:27:47,471 --> 01:27:50,110
but I say with great confidence that
we couldn't leave you in better hands
2287
01:27:50,140 --> 01:27:52,848
than in those
of the Vermont Highway Patrol.
2288
01:27:52,934 --> 01:27:55,642
(all cheering and applauding)
2289
01:27:58,440 --> 01:28:00,920
How does it feel to be the coolest
motherfucker on this planet?
2290
01:28:01,193 --> 01:28:03,434
You tell me, buddy.
You tell me.
2291
01:28:04,321 --> 01:28:06,688
- (cameras shutters clicking)
- CROWD: Aw.
2292
01:28:07,491 --> 01:28:09,607
JESSMAN: Uh, yeah. Excuse me.
2293
01:28:10,035 --> 01:28:11,070
Hold on.
2294
01:28:12,454 --> 01:28:14,491
Actually, I'm here to tell you
2295
01:28:14,664 --> 01:28:16,701
that the U.S.
and Canadian governments
2296
01:28:16,792 --> 01:28:18,908
have decided to postpone the turnover
2297
01:28:19,085 --> 01:28:22,043
until the rest of the
hidden contraband is found.
2298
01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:24,246
- (crowd gasps)
- CASSANDRA: So, wait.
2299
01:28:24,424 --> 01:28:26,916
Are we Canadians
or are we Americans?
2300
01:28:27,093 --> 01:28:29,460
You're still Canadians for now.
2301
01:28:29,638 --> 01:28:32,801
And that's going
to continue indefinitely.
2302
01:28:32,974 --> 01:28:34,054
(in Canadian accent) Sorry.
2303
01:28:34,851 --> 01:28:36,683
(all murmuring)
2304
01:28:38,313 --> 01:28:41,681
Okay, so we are now in control
of this area again, eh?
2305
01:28:41,858 --> 01:28:43,895
No, no.
We both have authority.
2306
01:28:44,069 --> 01:28:45,434
You got the authority to go take
2307
01:28:45,529 --> 01:28:46,929
a flying fuck
at a rolling doughnut.
2308
01:28:47,072 --> 01:28:48,992
Hey, we just saved your lives,
you remember that?
2309
01:28:49,115 --> 01:28:50,629
BELLEFUILLE:
We have an expression here.
2310
01:28:50,659 --> 01:28:52,696
It go, "What have you done
for me lately?"
2311
01:28:52,869 --> 01:28:54,109
Yeah, maybe we'll haul your ass
2312
01:28:54,162 --> 01:28:55,282
back out to the woods naked.
2313
01:28:55,330 --> 01:28:58,243
Or maybe we could burned down
your White House again! Eh?
2314
01:28:58,416 --> 01:28:59,656
What the hell does that mean?
2315
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:02,452
The War of 1812, eh.
Learn your history.
2316
01:29:02,546 --> 01:29:04,162
- (grunts)
- (all exclaiming)
2317
01:29:04,673 --> 01:29:06,038
(rock music playing)
2318
01:29:06,132 --> 01:29:08,749
Oh! You punched the mustache
right off his face!
2319
01:29:08,927 --> 01:29:11,464
No! Look, he's wearing
a postiche, eh!
2320
01:29:11,555 --> 01:29:12,761
(all laughing)
2321
01:29:13,723 --> 01:29:16,636
- You shut up about his postiche! Come on!
- (all grunting)
2322
01:29:18,520 --> 01:29:21,103
♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪
2323
01:29:21,189 --> 01:29:24,807
♪ Yeah, she was blinded by the light ♪
2324
01:29:25,610 --> 01:29:27,271
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2325
01:29:27,362 --> 01:29:29,399
♪ Another runner in the night ♪
2326
01:29:29,489 --> 01:29:32,026
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2327
01:29:32,784 --> 01:29:34,400
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2328
01:29:34,494 --> 01:29:36,485
♪ Another runner in the night ♪
2329
01:29:36,580 --> 01:29:39,288
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2330
01:29:39,916 --> 01:29:41,202
♪ Revved up like a deu... ♪
2331
01:29:41,293 --> 01:29:42,408
"(clicks)" (music stops)
2332
01:29:43,837 --> 01:29:44,837
(car door closes)
2333
01:29:45,797 --> 01:29:46,797
What do you got?
2334
01:29:47,674 --> 01:29:48,674
Cat in a tree.
2335
01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:51,041
- (cat meows)
- THORNY: Ah, yeah.
2336
01:29:51,845 --> 01:29:52,845
Hey, Fred Savage.
2337
01:29:53,096 --> 01:29:54,552
- How's it going?
- MacIntyre Womack.
2338
01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:56,676
- Oh, pleasure to meet you, Officer.
- Carl Foster.
2339
01:29:56,766 --> 01:29:58,697
- Nice to meet you. Fred.
- So, what's with the ride-along?
2340
01:29:58,727 --> 01:29:59,823
You got a cop movie coming out?
2341
01:29:59,853 --> 01:30:02,185
Uh, no, it's actually a new
show for the Syfy Channel.
2342
01:30:02,272 --> 01:30:05,560
A small-town alien invasion
show called Vermonsters.
2343
01:30:05,692 --> 01:30:07,103
- ALL: Oh!
- I'd see that.
2344
01:30:07,193 --> 01:30:08,593
So, do you guys spend a lot of time
2345
01:30:08,653 --> 01:30:10,109
getting, um, cats out of trees?
2346
01:30:10,196 --> 01:30:11,857
Is that-- is that kinda the job?
2347
01:30:11,948 --> 01:30:14,129
Nah, nah, we get the call and then
we call the Fire Department.
2348
01:30:14,159 --> 01:30:15,695
- They get the damn thing out.
- Oh.
2349
01:30:15,785 --> 01:30:18,026
Could I actually trouble you
for a quick selfie?
2350
01:30:18,121 --> 01:30:20,658
- (both chuckling)
- I'm a big Princess Bride fan.
2351
01:30:20,832 --> 01:30:21,913
SAVAGE: Yes. My pleasure.
2352
01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:23,430
It was my "get laid movie"
in high school.
2353
01:30:23,460 --> 01:30:24,871
Oh! You're welcome.
2354
01:30:24,961 --> 01:30:26,683
- MAC AND SAVAGE: Buttercup!
- (phone camera slicks)
2355
01:30:26,713 --> 01:30:27,874
Holy shit!
2356
01:30:28,506 --> 01:30:30,042
Fred fuckin' Savage, huh?
2357
01:30:30,216 --> 01:30:32,022
- Uh, yes. That's me.
- He's right here! Look at him!
2358
01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:33,052
Yeah, we know.
2359
01:30:33,428 --> 01:30:34,634
You still with Winnie?
2360
01:30:34,804 --> 01:30:36,761
Uh, no, no.
Just a show, man.
2361
01:30:36,932 --> 01:30:38,923
- I call sloppy seconds!
- Okay, great.
2362
01:30:39,017 --> 01:30:40,822
I think I'm gonna get the cat.
I'm gonna get the cat.
2363
01:30:40,852 --> 01:30:42,115
Mr. Savage,
we can't let you do that
2364
01:30:42,145 --> 01:30:44,326
because, you know, well,
we're responsible for your safety.
2365
01:30:44,356 --> 01:30:45,994
Don't worry about it.
I'm an expert climber.
2366
01:30:46,024 --> 01:30:47,355
Remember the movie Super Monkey?
2367
01:30:47,734 --> 01:30:50,226
- ALL: Yeah.
- I did all my own stunts in that movie.
2368
01:30:50,320 --> 01:30:51,355
I'm good with the trees.
2369
01:30:51,446 --> 01:30:52,446
Okay.
2370
01:30:52,572 --> 01:30:53,607
(grunts)
2371
01:30:53,698 --> 01:30:54,698
Look at him go.
2372
01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:56,235
FOSTER:
Wow.
2373
01:30:56,409 --> 01:30:58,696
SAVAGE: I can see it!
I got the cat.
2374
01:30:58,870 --> 01:31:00,201
Take it easy, Mr. Savage.
2375
01:31:00,372 --> 01:31:02,079
I thought Super Monkey sucked.
2376
01:31:02,248 --> 01:31:03,928
Yeah. And the monkeys
were so fuckin' fake.
2377
01:31:04,084 --> 01:31:06,121
A.O. Scott said the plot
was bananas.
2378
01:31:06,294 --> 01:31:07,750
You know, I can hear you guys.
2379
01:31:07,921 --> 01:31:09,434
All right, you should try
acting in a movie
2380
01:31:09,464 --> 01:31:11,375
and doing your own stunts.
It's really hard!
2381
01:31:11,466 --> 01:31:13,480
- (laughs) Sure.
- SAVAGE: All right, don't be dicks.
2382
01:31:13,510 --> 01:31:15,126
- (branches snap)
- (yelps)
2383
01:31:15,220 --> 01:31:16,802
- (Savage groaning)
- (all exclaiming)
2384
01:31:16,888 --> 01:31:18,879
(thudding)
2385
01:31:18,974 --> 01:31:20,430
(yells, grunts)
2386
01:31:20,517 --> 01:31:21,723
(exhales) Woo!
2387
01:31:21,810 --> 01:31:23,221
(all cheering)
2388
01:31:23,311 --> 01:31:24,472
Did you see that shit?!
2389
01:31:24,562 --> 01:31:25,562
(all laugh)
2390
01:31:25,647 --> 01:31:27,433
Any of you motherfuckers
want some pussy?
2391
01:31:27,607 --> 01:31:29,223
- What's up? Whoo!
- (all cheer)
2392
01:31:29,317 --> 01:31:30,317
(horn blares)
2393
01:31:30,485 --> 01:31:31,725
(all gasp)
2394
01:31:31,820 --> 01:31:33,811
(upbeat rock music playing)
2395
01:31:52,757 --> 01:31:54,748
♪ Madman drummers bummers ♪
2396
01:31:54,843 --> 01:31:56,083
♪ Indians in the summer ♪
2397
01:31:56,177 --> 01:31:58,509
♪ With a teenage diplomat' ♪
2398
01:31:59,431 --> 01:32:01,422
♪ In the dumps with the mumps ♪
2399
01:32:01,516 --> 01:32:03,177
♪ As the adolescent pumps ♪
2400
01:32:03,268 --> 01:32:05,726
♪ His way into his hat ♪
2401
01:32:06,479 --> 01:32:08,390
♪ With a boulder on my shoulder' ♪
2402
01:32:08,481 --> 01:32:10,222
♪ Feelin' kinda older ♪
2403
01:32:10,316 --> 01:32:13,274
♪ I tripped the merry-go-round ♪
2404
01:32:13,361 --> 01:32:15,477
♪ With this very unpleasin' ♪
2405
01:32:15,572 --> 01:32:17,279
♪ Sneezin' and wheezin' ♪
2406
01:32:17,365 --> 01:32:20,357
♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪
2407
01:32:30,879 --> 01:32:34,042
♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪
2408
01:32:34,132 --> 01:32:37,796
♪ Yeah, she was blinded by the light ♪
2409
01:32:38,428 --> 01:32:40,010
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2410
01:32:40,096 --> 01:32:42,258
♪ Another runner in the night ♪
2411
01:32:42,348 --> 01:32:44,715
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2412
01:32:45,435 --> 01:32:47,176
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2413
01:32:47,270 --> 01:32:49,227
♪ Another runner in the night ♪
2414
01:32:49,314 --> 01:32:51,726
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2415
01:32:52,650 --> 01:32:54,357
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2416
01:32:54,444 --> 01:32:56,401
♪ Another runner in the night ♪
2417
01:32:56,488 --> 01:32:59,071
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2418
01:33:03,244 --> 01:33:05,155
♪ Some silicone sister ♪
2419
01:33:05,246 --> 01:33:07,203
♪ With a manager mister ♪
2420
01:33:07,290 --> 01:33:09,622
♪ Told me I got what it takes ♪
2421
01:33:10,126 --> 01:33:13,869
♪ She said," I'll turn you on,
sonny, to something strong ♪
2422
01:33:13,963 --> 01:33:16,546
♪ Play the song with
the funky breaks" ♪
2423
01:33:17,258 --> 01:33:19,124
♪ And go-cart Mozart ♪
2424
01:33:19,219 --> 01:33:21,210
♪ Was checkin' out the weather chart ♪
2425
01:33:21,304 --> 01:33:23,966
♪ See if it was safe outside ♪
2426
01:33:24,057 --> 01:33:26,139
♪ And little early-pearly ♪
2427
01:33:26,226 --> 01:33:27,967
♪ Came by in his curly-wurly ♪
2428
01:33:28,061 --> 01:33:31,099
♪ And asked me if I needed a ride ♪
2429
01:33:41,825 --> 01:33:44,658
♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪
2430
01:33:44,744 --> 01:33:48,078
♪ She was blinded by the light ♪
2431
01:33:48,998 --> 01:33:50,614
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2432
01:33:50,708 --> 01:33:52,665
♪Another runner in the night ♪
2433
01:33:52,752 --> 01:33:55,244
♪ Blinded by the light... ♪
2434
01:34:02,053 --> 01:34:04,067
JAY (on radio):
You wanna reach for your ticket book.
2435
01:34:04,097 --> 01:34:05,212
I got ya. Okay.
2436
01:34:05,306 --> 01:34:07,593
'Scuse me. Sorry.
(chuckles) Sorry.
2437
01:34:08,476 --> 01:34:09,511
(Spits)
2438
01:34:10,228 --> 01:34:12,094
Don't worry about it.
Hold that for me.
2439
01:34:12,188 --> 01:34:13,284
- JAY: Here we go. Ready?
- Yeah.
2440
01:34:13,314 --> 01:34:15,772
(speaking French)
2441
01:34:15,859 --> 01:34:17,299
- (horse neighs)
- Ready? Okay. Okay.
2442
01:34:18,653 --> 01:34:20,610
- (speaking French)
- (horse whinnies)
2443
01:34:21,197 --> 01:34:23,609
- (speaking French)
- (horse nickers)
2444
01:34:24,450 --> 01:34:27,033
- (speaking French) Ooh!
- (horse whinnies)
2445
01:34:27,120 --> 01:34:28,986
I can't believe it's a crime
down in the U.S.
2446
01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:31,117
to drink beer
and enjoy tits and dick.
2447
01:34:31,291 --> 01:34:34,329
I mean, beep beep!
There's no harm there.
2448
01:34:34,502 --> 01:34:36,743
I mean, aooga!
There's no harm there.
2449
01:34:36,838 --> 01:34:39,125
(gibbering)
It's a good workout, eh.
2450
01:34:41,217 --> 01:34:42,617
JAY: Cut. I could do that
all night.
2451
01:34:42,719 --> 01:34:44,301
- I know--
- (all laughing)
2452
01:34:44,679 --> 01:34:46,261
JAY: And action!
2453
01:34:46,890 --> 01:34:48,380
- Oh!
- (all laughing)
2454
01:34:48,474 --> 01:34:50,010
That's how easy it is.
2455
01:34:50,894 --> 01:34:52,726
Oh! Jesus Christ.
Motherfucker.
2456
01:34:53,354 --> 01:34:55,391
What do we got, till lunch?
We got till lunch?
2457
01:34:55,565 --> 01:34:56,619
- JAY: Action.
- (balloon pops)
2458
01:34:56,649 --> 01:34:57,730
'Oh!
(all laugh)
2459
01:34:57,817 --> 01:35:01,105
Which one of you guys
has a Le-- a Le seniority?
2460
01:35:01,196 --> 01:35:03,187
(all laughing)
2461
01:35:03,281 --> 01:35:05,147
(Speaking Spanish)
2462
01:35:07,202 --> 01:35:08,943
JAY: You got to blow
those cheeks up.
2463
01:35:09,120 --> 01:35:10,120
Okay.
2464
01:35:11,331 --> 01:35:13,993
I think I have some of your
mustache in my mouth.
2465
01:35:14,542 --> 01:35:15,542
Where's your asshole?
2466
01:35:15,710 --> 01:35:17,621
It's right about-- right there.
2467
01:35:18,296 --> 01:35:19,457
Just follow the heat.
2468
01:35:20,215 --> 01:35:22,798
First you steal our job
and now you sit here
2469
01:35:22,884 --> 01:35:24,625
getting a sensual massage
from a chair
2470
01:35:24,802 --> 01:35:27,544
in the center of the mall
with our women.
2471
01:35:28,598 --> 01:35:30,635
JAY (laughs):
Can you shorten that?
2472
01:35:31,267 --> 01:35:33,008
No, that's the only way
I can say it.
2473
01:35:33,394 --> 01:35:35,385
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jeez Louise.
2474
01:35:35,772 --> 01:35:37,888
Now I know who gobbled up
all my Lava Scotia.
2475
01:35:38,066 --> 01:35:39,101
JAY: Uh, Flova Scotia.
2476
01:35:39,275 --> 01:35:41,642
Now I know who gobbled up
all my Flava Scotia.
2477
01:35:41,819 --> 01:35:43,666
- JAY: Uh, Flo, uh, Flova.
- Flova. God damn it.
2478
01:35:43,696 --> 01:35:44,696
All my Flava Scotia.
2479
01:35:44,864 --> 01:35:46,980
- All my Flava Scotia.
- JAY (laughing): Flova.
2480
01:35:47,158 --> 01:35:48,819
I'm gonna get it. Nova. Flova.
2481
01:35:48,993 --> 01:35:51,485
Now I know who gobbled up
all my Flava Scotia.
2482
01:35:51,955 --> 01:35:53,821
- Close?
- JAY: No. Not really.
2483
01:35:53,915 --> 01:35:56,327
(shouting in French)
2484
01:35:56,417 --> 01:35:58,328
What about this?!
What about this, huh?!
2485
01:35:58,419 --> 01:35:59,830
Didn't we do that to like
2486
01:35:59,921 --> 01:36:01,503
a skinny blond guy
with a big forehead?
2487
01:36:01,673 --> 01:36:02,708
Smelled like bacon?
2488
01:36:02,799 --> 01:36:04,164
Always yakking about
Hot Pockets?
2489
01:36:04,342 --> 01:36:05,423
That was me.
2490
01:36:05,593 --> 01:36:07,675
You asked if I saw you
2491
01:36:07,762 --> 01:36:09,969
jumping around
all mimbly dimbly--
2492
01:36:10,265 --> 01:36:11,676
You asked if I saw you
2493
01:36:11,766 --> 01:36:14,349
jumping around all nimby, Ni--
2494
01:36:14,560 --> 01:36:16,426
All nibbily-bimbly.
2495
01:36:16,646 --> 01:36:18,307
Sorry, what--
it's nimbly-bimbly.
2496
01:36:18,481 --> 01:36:20,438
STEVE LEMME:
Come on, Gaffigan!
2497
01:36:21,401 --> 01:36:23,893
- (grunts)
- Idiot. (grunts)
2498
01:36:24,237 --> 01:36:25,898
(babbling in French
in sing-song voice)
2499
01:36:29,200 --> 01:36:31,407
JAY: Eh, that's a little much.
2500
01:36:31,744 --> 01:36:33,906
- This one says "Tiger Penis."
- FARVA: Suck it!
2501
01:36:34,080 --> 01:36:36,367
- Shut up, Farva.
- Sorry. It's just funny.
2502
01:36:36,666 --> 01:36:39,784
Eh... eh... what the-- eh... uh...
2503
01:36:39,877 --> 01:36:41,224
(in French accent)
What the shit, Guy?
2504
01:36:41,254 --> 01:36:42,642
Why you tell us
they are the smuggler--
2505
01:36:42,672 --> 01:36:44,538
- Sorry, I'm sorry.
- (all laughing)
2506
01:36:45,675 --> 01:36:47,666
(continuing in French accent)
Uh... eh...
2507
01:36:48,636 --> 01:36:51,025
(normal voice) All right. All right.
hey, hey, here we go. Here we go.
2508
01:36:51,055 --> 01:36:52,575
- Just gotta find it.
- Yeah, I got it.
2509
01:36:53,016 --> 01:36:54,256
Uh...
2510
01:36:55,268 --> 01:36:57,100
(all laughing)
2511
01:36:57,895 --> 01:36:59,886
Uh... eh...
2512
01:37:00,898 --> 01:37:03,139
Sorry. I'm totally--
okay, Okay.
2513
01:37:03,484 --> 01:37:04,519
Hey, cut it.
2514
01:37:04,610 --> 01:37:06,192
(man speaking indistinctly)
2515
01:37:06,279 --> 01:37:08,270
(all applauding)
2516
01:37:09,032 --> 01:37:12,241
♪ She got down but she
never got tight ♪
2517
01:37:12,327 --> 01:37:15,069
♪ She's gonna make it ♪
2518
01:37:16,080 --> 01:37:19,664
♪ Through the night ♪
2519
01:37:19,751 --> 01:37:20,912
(mimics fart)
2520
01:37:21,002 --> 01:37:24,415
(honky-tonk music plays)
2521
01:37:35,099 --> 01:37:36,385
♪ What a drag ♪
2522
01:37:38,186 --> 01:37:40,052
♪ Sitting here at home ♪
2523
01:37:40,855 --> 01:37:42,596
♪ Saturday night ♪
2524
01:37:43,983 --> 01:37:45,724
♪ And I'm alone ♪
2525
01:37:46,903 --> 01:37:49,190
♪ Staring at my phone ♪
2526
01:37:49,280 --> 01:37:50,987
♪ Trying to make it ring ♪
2527
01:37:51,407 --> 01:37:52,943
♪ Wish I had a friend ♪
2528
01:37:54,452 --> 01:37:56,489
♪ I could tell my troubles to ♪
2529
01:37:59,540 --> 01:38:01,156
♪ My truck' ♪
2530
01:38:02,460 --> 01:38:04,326
♪ ls running pretty rough ♪
2531
01:38:05,380 --> 01:38:06,962
♪ it don't matter much ♪
2532
01:38:08,299 --> 01:38:10,381
♪ I'm outta gas' ♪
2533
01:38:11,427 --> 01:38:15,546
♪ If! had a tank, I'd take a ride ♪
2534
01:38:15,640 --> 01:38:17,347
♪ But I don't know where to ♪
2535
01:38:19,018 --> 01:38:20,804
♪ My Saturday night ♪
2536
01:38:24,190 --> 01:38:26,181
(vocalizing)
2537
01:38:33,032 --> 01:38:34,522
♪ Saturday night ♪
2538
01:38:37,829 --> 01:38:39,661
(vocalizing)
2539
01:38:46,546 --> 01:38:47,957
♪ Saturday night ♪
2540
01:39:07,442 --> 01:39:09,934
(song playing on radio)
2541
01:39:10,903 --> 01:39:12,234
(sighs deeply)
2542
01:39:22,498 --> 01:39:23,498
(sighs)
2543
01:39:24,625 --> 01:39:26,115
(gulping)
2544
01:39:28,004 --> 01:39:29,244
Mm-mm.