1 00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:09,003 Hey, Brenda. Kenny's coming for a visit with his new baby. 2 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,838 We're gonna have to change the sheets in the guest room... 3 00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:14,425 wand make sure there is no medication lying around. 4 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:15,633 Got it, got it. 5 00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:16,923 - Gonna be fun. - Hello? 6 00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,557 Good time with that baby. 7 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,218 This is a league game. 8 00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:23,104 You can't just leave early, or you'll be disqualified. 9 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:26,392 You'd rather win this In a weasel way than settle on the boards? 10 00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:29,027 Speaking of the boards, let me just... 11 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,938 - Yep, I'm still ahead. - Heh, heh. 12 00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,732 So why don't you decide, Tammy? 13 00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:37,072 You want me to win by points or disqualification? 14 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,613 Whatever. I've got more important shit in my life... 15 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,531 ...than arguing with your dumb ass. 16 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,871 My famous baseball-player son... 17 00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,286 ...is coming for a visit with his new baby. 18 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:49,377 And would this be the son that got busted doing steroids... 19 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,336 ...and had that prostitution scandal? 20 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:54,969 - Sure did. - You must be very proud. 21 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:56,838 Oh! 22 00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:59,261 I guess you win by disqualification. 23 00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:00,470 You're the champ. 24 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,635 Soak it up, tomato face. 25 00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:34,801 I got the baby. 26 00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,381 I got the baby. 27 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,427 Well, goddamn. 28 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,889 Somebody's doing pretty good for themselves. 29 00:01:44,063 --> 00:01:47,226 All right. Let's go over some ground rules. 30 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:50,187 First off, go along with everything I say. 31 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:54,104 You can't just walk in there and ask her to raise your baby right off the bat. 32 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,272 Let me moisten her up a little bit first. 33 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:02,154 I feel like I have blood in my Wiener when I get excited. 34 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,206 Maria. 35 00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:08,838 - Steven. - Where are you? 36 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,256 Your marriage is over. 37 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:14,040 Now sack the fuck up, or you're gonna walk back to Myrtle. 38 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,423 No loose cannons on this mission. 39 00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,337 - Knock, knock. - Who's there? 40 00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:20,550 We are. 41 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,385 Goddamn right. Let's go. 42 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,818 Oh, my goodness. 43 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,941 - My boy. - How you doing, Mama? 44 00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:42,781 - My baby. - So good to see you. 45 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:46,789 And my grandbaby, you sweet thing. He's getting so big. 46 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,666 And so handsome, just like his daddy. 47 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:49,951 Oh, yes, he is. 48 00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:52,040 Oh, you sweet thing, you sweet thing. 49 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:57,212 Okay, now. Who are these people?'? 50 00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,797 Well, Mom... 51 00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:02,635 ...the man made of skin here is my nanny/assistant... 52 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:06,847 ...and this disabled mouth-breather minority is my personal chef. 53 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:10,480 Well, big celeb, excuse me, got your own nanny and a chef. 54 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,641 Yeah, this is just a sampling of the Hollywood dream life I live. 55 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:17,483 I have a whole staff and slew of people at my estate back at the beach, yeah. 56 00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:20,489 I have a personal hygienist, obsti-nutrionist person... 57 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,650 - ...a magicianist. - Ha, ha, ha. 58 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,695 Well, you brought the whole damned entourage, my famous son? 59 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,739 - That's right. - Well, come om in. 60 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:33,370 Actually, there is one other member of my elite entourage. 61 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,129 A surprise member. 62 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:41,465 Did somebody say "long-lost husband"? 63 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,885 Oh, fuck me. 64 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,970 Tammy. Tammy, Tammy. 65 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:50,227 By God, you look as gorgeous as I remembered. 66 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:53,981 You know, 27 years is a damn long trip to the store for cigarettes. 67 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:57,815 Ha, ha, ha. Well, I lied to you about that. I'm sorry, honey. 68 00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,366 I wasn't really going to the store for cigarettes. 69 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,114 Yeah? No shit. 70 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,449 You perfidious prick. 71 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,455 Oh, fuck my ass. 72 00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:14,877 Oh! 73 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,422 I must say, that felt good. 74 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,754 It's going away. No. There it goes to my stomach. 75 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,340 I want you to get your asses in the house here... 76 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,630 - ...before the neighbors start talking. - Okay. 77 00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:26,969 She got you good. 78 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,759 - That was right in your balls. Crazy. - Ooh! 79 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:33,180 I don't know how you can trust that bald one with the baby. 80 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,348 Kenny, you remember my assistant, Brenda? 81 00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:37,733 Oh, what the fuck's up, Brenda? I remember you. 82 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,610 You still smoke those Chihuahua dicks? 83 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,487 - That's right. - You've been working... 84 00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,945 - ...with Brenda for a long tirne now. - Yes, I have, and Brenda... 85 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,781 ...that smiley shithead with the hat is my ex-husband... 86 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,992 ...Eddie Powers. You've heard the stories. 87 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:53,078 Oh, my God, look at this. You-- 88 00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:55,459 You still got our special silverware. 89 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,417 That was the wedding gift that my mom and daddy gave us. 90 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,719 It's been in our family for years. It dates back to the 1800s. 91 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,626 We were so in love back then. 92 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,216 Oh, kiss my ass. 93 00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:09,178 Kenny, I want to show you my trophy room. 94 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,637 Trophy room? 95 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:14,020 I've got about four new trophies since you last saw it, son. 96 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,476 Yeah, I'm gonna go check out some trophies, dudes. 97 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,890 Let's check them out. 98 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,651 - You made this stuff? - Just the clothes. 99 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,813 Bodies hand-painted by little Mexicans. 100 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:27,450 My wife was Mexican before she left me. 101 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,201 I'm sorry. 102 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,363 I came inside another woman. 103 00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:35,325 So she left me. 104 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,748 Goddamn it, Kenny. 105 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,921 No heads-up or anything? 106 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:44,209 Five minutes with that asshole and I have a migraine already. 107 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,717 What are you holding? 108 00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:47,674 Let's see. 109 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:53,139 I've got Percocet, and I've got muscle relaxers. 110 00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:55,098 Oh, shit. That's pretty sweet. 111 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,854 Oh, sick, suppositories. 112 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,391 Mix the Percocet with the Xanie, it's like heroin. 113 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,184 - Is it really? - That's what I heard. 114 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,194 Why didn't you tell me that before? 115 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,605 I'm rocking this Adderall here. Keeps me focused. 116 00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,569 Even if it does give me a dry mouth... 117 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:10,155 - ...and occasional constipation. - I'd like some. 118 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,660 Shit gets real. 119 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,446 - There you go. - Oh, look at this. 120 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,706 My God, those are IRs and 20s too. 121 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,037 Mm-hm. Can I have"? 122 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,827 Not bad. What is it you want? 123 00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,712 Well, I'd have to have just a few of the muscle relaxers... 124 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,793 - ...a little of those. - I do feel that. 125 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,674 - Cool, huh? - Damn, I like that. 126 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,552 That's what all the young kids are fucking with these days. 127 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,508 Loosens you up. 128 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,184 - Whoa. - Knock, knock. 129 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,217 - Oh, Lord. - How we all doing? 130 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,352 Doing cool, just trying to talk to Mom-- 131 00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:39,059 Oh, my God, look at that bulletin board. 132 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:40,723 Let me ask you something. 133 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,438 Who is that strapping young athlete right there? 134 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:44,727 It's me. 135 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,067 We done good, didn't we? 136 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:49,903 What's this "we" shit, white man? 137 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:54,071 Call me crazy, but I missed that sharp tongue of yours. 138 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,330 Not to mention them long legs. 139 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:59,208 - I don't want to see any of this. - Don't you breathe on me. 140 00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:02,621 Oh, speaking of missing, I am missing my daily lane time. 141 00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,505 Oh, I got a heH of an Idea. 142 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:09,044 Why don't we go along and support you, as a family? 143 00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:38,952 - Ah right, all right, all right. - Whoo! 144 00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:42,160 Now that's what I call a strike. 145 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:46,376 Oh, well, that's what everybody calls a strike, asshole. 146 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:50,509 Still that same old firecracker that I used to get boners for. 147 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,387 I hope you're not having trouble getting boners these days. 148 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:58,222 Oh, hell no. I still achieve powerful, long-lasting boners. 149 00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,760 Oh, my God. 150 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,100 You really knew how to light my fire back then. 151 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:03,935 You think you could still do that? 152 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:07,568 - I think I could stick a match up your ass. - Ha, ha, ha! 153 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,194 Have a look at me, woman. 154 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,025 I'm still in pretty good shape. 155 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,316 Your little butt and I are not on speaking terms. 156 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,030 Well, you better start... 157 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:16,660 - ...chatting it up, then. - Ha, ha, ha. 158 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,915 Look at that con man, out there prancing his ass in Mom's face. 159 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,825 Got her laughing and shit. 160 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,165 He's got a special touch with the ladies. 161 00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:27,876 All the men in our family have the special touch. 162 00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:30,132 Pssh. Don't put yourself in that category, Casper. 163 00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:33,511 You ain't got no special touches. Don't act like you're getting pussy. 164 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,547 Me? I fuck like TT Boy. You don't know What I do. 165 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:39,308 Pssh. You fuck like TT Boy, the porn star? 166 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:40,764 Yes. 167 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:43,100 What'd you do with the last chick you fucked? 168 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:47,892 Fingers, ass, pubic play. 169 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,027 Pubic play? What exactly is that? 170 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:54,191 That's when you put your pubic hairs together, and you go like this: 171 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,200 You just mash your pubic hairs together? 172 00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,028 You could start a fucking rug fire doing that. 173 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,244 Looks like your dad's gonna get balls deep in your mom tonight. 174 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,795 That means there's hope for me and Maria. 175 00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:06,327 Guess what. Fuck hope. 176 00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:09,338 I need you to focus on my goals. What are you doing with Toby? 177 00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:11,124 Hogging him. Give him to my morn. 178 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,258 Right now, Pop's getting all the face time. 179 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,930 Maybe I should just kill myself. 180 00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:18,340 Maybe you should go grow some eyebrows. Get out of here, man. 181 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,099 Act like a little bitch. 182 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:26,106 Combo, 1 ball off the side part to the 3, and to the other part. 183 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,362 - Nice. - Ha, ha, ha. 184 00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:32,941 You got the wrong ball. Ha, ha, ha. 185 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,151 Aah. 186 00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,993 Fucking" I dare you. 187 00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:48,036 Get the fuck off of me, you're all fucking sweaty. Get off. 188 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,874 Get off. 189 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,665 Get off. Go. 190 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,296 - Ha, ha, ha. - Is it"? Is it a buffalo? 191 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,722 Video games. 192 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,424 How the fuck is that video games? 193 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,091 - Just look what I'm drawing. - Is it a goat in a gate? 194 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,885 - Video games. - Ha, ha, ha. 195 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,723 - Video games. - It is not video games. 196 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,059 - Is that a three-legged dog? - Not a dog. 197 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,099 You have to show him the pictures. 198 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,018 All right, it's an angel in a car. 199 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:13,401 - No. - It's an angel-- 200 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:15,654 - It's a girl with her head smashed in. - Eh! 201 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,406 You're not on our team. 202 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,034 - Time's up. - Time's up. Girls win. 203 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:21,284 Girls win. Yay! 204 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,913 It's a fucking poncho. 205 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,993 - I can see that. - Are you kidding me? 206 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:27,954 Good thing you can throw a baseball... 207 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,961 - ...because you can't draw for shit. - You draw like a retard. 208 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,051 I'm not bad at drawing. Stop it. 209 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:36,083 Well, okay now, that's-- 210 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:39,049 That's about all I can take for excitement in one night. 211 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,929 That's plenty. I'm gonna go to bed. 212 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,182 Hold on, hold on a minute, Tammy. H0\d on, hold on. 213 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,022 I, uh... 214 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,138 I got-- I have something I wanna say... 215 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,808 ...and I want everybody hereto bear witness. 216 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,441 I, um... 217 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:55,148 It's hard. 218 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,651 I've been gone a long time. 219 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:05,614 And I didn't know exactly what it would be like when I came back... 220 00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:11,040 wand you all have made me feel so at home... 221 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:15,127 ...In spite of the fact that we've been apart all these years. 222 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:19,297 And I-- I want to assure you... 223 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,711 ...all of you... 224 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:27,261 ...that I'm gonna do everything I can to make things right. 225 00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:36,652 And I'm-- I'm sorry it took me so long to come to my senses. 226 00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:42,783 I sincerely hope that you'll accept my apology. 227 00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:45,866 Okay. That's the end of the speech. 228 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,154 I'm gonna go to bed too. 229 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:50,165 And I'm gonna go out and sleep out there in the RV. 230 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,042 I don't wanna impose. 231 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,044 And I want this relationship to go slow. 232 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,581 No need to sleep outside. 233 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:59,170 You can sleep in there on the couch. 234 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:03,094 Really? I don't mind sleeping outside. 235 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:07,224 No, outside is for the dogs. Inside is for family. 236 00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:11,103 Okay. 237 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:14,186 And the garage is for cars. 238 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,039 Getting ready for bed? 239 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:38,247 I'm just chilling. Just looking at some old stuff. 240 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:40,799 Kenny, shame on you. 241 00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,131 What did I say about you smoking weed around me? 242 00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:45,842 - That I have to share. - Yes, that's right. 243 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,508 - Well, thank you, son. - You're welcome. 244 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,267 I don't suppose... 245 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:56,065 ...any boy wants to party with his mama. 246 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,727 What's eating at you, son? 247 00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,316 It's just tough in Myrtle. 248 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:05,324 I'm stressed out about April, Toby, fucking Russian people. 249 00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:07,986 Oh, Doschenka-something? I read all about hirn. 250 00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:11,622 Flavor of the month. We'll see where he is in 15 years. 251 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,703 See, this is why you're an awesome parent. 252 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:17,962 It's because you're good at building me up, and, like, making me feel good about myself. 253 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,793 Unlike April, the fucking runaway morn. 254 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,551 Oh, now, it's a hard thing to forgive, isn't it? 255 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,008 I've still got a lot of anger toward Eddie too. 256 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,923 But I'm trying to be better about it. 257 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,926 No good lugging a lot of hate around. 258 00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,514 It will give you ass cancer. 259 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:37,147 Yeah, ain't trying to fuck around with cancer in my asshole or nothing. 260 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,558 I'm more or less just kind of worried about Toby. 261 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:44,025 I mean, it does seem pretty important to have a female lady person in their life. 262 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,530 No, that doesn't matter. 263 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:49,443 You're better off than a lot of folks. You've got a nanny and everything. 264 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,744 Yeah, well, that's-- 265 00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:53,497 Little Toby, he's got a great life. 266 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,079 - Don't you out me off now. - No, no-- 267 00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:59,211 To see you such a good dad, I don't know where you learned it. 268 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:00,871 Definitely not from Eddie. 269 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,211 You make me so happy. 270 00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:05,804 Yeah, well... 271 00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,803 Okay, now, your turn. 272 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,214 What'd you want to talk to me about? 273 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:14,302 Nothing. Let's hit the sack, huh? It's been a long day. 274 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,971 We've been playing goddamn Pictionary, smoking weed... 275 00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:20,812 - ...it's probably time to call this a night. - Yeah, goodnight, baby. 276 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,298 Ivan! Ivan! Ivan! 277 00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,391 Ivan! Ivan! Ivan! 278 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:14,701 Oh, I got her back. I got her back, front, and side-to-side. 279 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,756 Bullshit. There is no way she fucking let you sleep with her. 280 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,669 Yep. It almost didn't happen, though. 281 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,304 I had to jerk myself off, play with her pussy. 282 00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:35,717 But in the end, we got it on. 283 00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,305 Mission accomplished. 284 00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,311 Goodbye forever, son. 285 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:43,769 Rats. 286 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,652 Okay, what in the hell's going on in here? 287 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:49,358 It's all right. I caught these two trying to bolt... 288 00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:50,909 ...after Dad made love to you. 289 00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:53,443 Now he's running off with your treasures and jewels. 290 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,952 - Wait a minute. Made what? - To make love to you. 291 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,113 Oh, that Ts not true. 292 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,749 No, he said that he jerked himself off, and then-- 293 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,035 Wait, are you lying? 294 00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,671 Goddamn it, I demand to know the truth. 295 00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,795 All right. You want the truth? Fine. 296 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,960 I came here to rob your mother. 297 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,219 Does it make you feel good to know... 298 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,631 ...that I lied to you about fucking your mother? 299 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:19,677 When, actually, I only got one of the best blowjobs of my entire life. 300 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,720 Oh, fuck this. I'm going back to bed. 301 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,811 We worked this one out together. I came hereto be with you. 302 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,352 - Oh, you did not. - Open your eyes. 303 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,736 He came hereto ditch the kid. 304 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,567 No, I didn't. No. 305 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,573 You take it back. I know that's not true. 306 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,120 Don't. 307 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,027 Sorry, Tammy. 308 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:38,661 Maybe in the next life. 309 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,322 Just go on, get the heH out. 310 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,042 Lights, Casper. 311 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,379 I can barely see anything. 312 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,257 There he is. 313 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:56,347 I can't believe it, it's" I mean, for him to say something like you came here... 314 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,598 ...to get rid of your baby. 315 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,226 That is so unforgivable. 316 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:04,855 It's not true. It couldn't possibly be true. 317 00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:06,682 Is it? 318 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,852 Well, I didn't come here to get rid of him. 319 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,567 I was kind of envisioning it as more of a loan program. 320 00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:19,579 It's just really, really super hard for me to be the man there and also have a son. 321 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:22,115 I mean, how can I fucking kick ass all the time... 322 00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:24,579 ...if I gotta do all this father shit constantly?“? 323 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:27,461 I mean, I like Toby, I think that he's awesome... 324 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,964 ...but he is really fucking up my shit. He's the whole entire reason... 325 00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:34,547 - ...why April left in the first place. - Now that's enough of that garbage. 326 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,507 My God. 327 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,888 I am sorry that April hurt your ass... 328 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:42,177 ...and I'm sorry that things are tough with baseball. 329 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,850 We all have hard times, even champions. 330 00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:51,315 Son, the truth is, is that someday baseball will end. 331 00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:54,071 And April may never come back. 332 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:58,867 But Toby will always be your son. 333 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,537 I've tried, Mom. And I can't. 334 00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:05,241 I can't do It. 335 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:09,878 It's super hard to be Charles in Charge when you're not fucking Scott Baio. 336 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,959 Just go to bed. 337 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,378 It's fine. 338 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,669 I'll take Toby. 339 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,430 I guess you'll be leaving in the morning. 340 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,558 I mean, I could go to your tournament if you still want me to-- 341 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:27,016 Oh, no, no, no. It's fine. It's fine. 342 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:30,182 You got what you came here for. 343 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,408 Don't hold this shit against me, okay? 344 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:50,122 This is the only way. 345 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,548 Take it easy, buddy. 346 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,214 Guess it's just you and me. 347 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,349 Two broken men. 348 00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,401 Fuck that. 349 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,917 It's a glorious day for redemption, Steven. 350 00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:13,536 What the fuck? 351 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,916 What the heH are you doing here? 352 00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,130 Same as you, I guess. 353 00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:25,047 Both just tragic heroes in the book of life. 354 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,591 We're not so different, you and I. 355 00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:30,557 That's bullshit. I'm absolutely nothing like you. 356 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,970 Really? 357 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:35,561 You didn't leave your family and then come here to get them back? 358 00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:40,153 Maybe that one thing is slightly similar. 359 00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:42,530 - Let's go, Bobbi. - Come on, Bobbi. 360 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,236 Watch this, bitch. 361 00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:22,400 - I'm all up in your kitchen, bitch. - Heh. 362 00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:23,984 It's the last frame. 363 00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:27,822 If you don't roil triple strikes, the trophy is mine. 364 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:29,831 Back up. 365 00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:32,330 - That's right. - All right. 366 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:33,740 Go girl. 367 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:37,582 VIPs. Move it. Move it. 368 00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,132 Tammy Powers! 369 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:41,085 - What? - What? 370 00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,171 I want you to listen to me, please. 371 00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:48,755 It's me, Eddie. 372 00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:51,971 I've come back for you, darling. 373 00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:56,434 Morn, it's also me, Kenny. 374 00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:59,395 And I've come back to reclaim my son. 375 00:21:59,569 --> 00:22:01,856 Get off the lanes, you fucking idiots. 376 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,987 - This is a championship game. - Yeah. 377 00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:06,865 - Silence, ho. - Shut up, bitch. 378 00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:12,872 I admit that walking out on you last night and stealing your silverware... 379 00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,827 ...was almost unforgivable. 380 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:17,163 And I also would like to admit... 381 00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:20,546 ...that leaving my son in the care of my mom... 382 00:22:20,715 --> 00:22:23,298 ...due to high levels of stress in my baseball career... 383 00:22:23,468 --> 00:22:25,379 ...was also a very bad thing. 384 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:30,047 Until today, I thought that I was invincible. 385 00:22:30,224 --> 00:22:33,512 That a-- A steady diet of international trim... 386 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:37,554 ...was all I needed to survive and thrive. 387 00:22:37,732 --> 00:22:42,067 S01 blissfully banged away half of Mexico. 388 00:22:42,236 --> 00:22:46,400 Until I realized that I wasn't really happy. 389 00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:51,239 I was just trying to fill the Tammy-sized hole in my heart... 390 00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:55,906 ...with the holes of ridiculously beautiful prostitutes. 391 00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:59,702 And I also have thought; that raising a child... 392 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:04,339 ...is primarily woman's work. And to be honest, I still do believe that shit. 393 00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:06,591 - It is. - No. 394 00:23:06,761 --> 00:23:07,796 No? 395 00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:11,838 If my madre is strong enough to be a man... 396 00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:16,681 ...then Kenny Powers is certainly strong enough to be a fucking woman. 397 00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:21,269 Tammy, for all the heartbreak I have caused you... 398 00:23:21,442 --> 00:23:23,558 ...and I've caused some... 399 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:25,113 ...I-- I'm sorry... 400 00:23:25,279 --> 00:23:29,147 ...and I-- I want you back. Forever. 401 00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:31,862 And I also want to tell you that I am sorry. 402 00:23:32,036 --> 00:23:33,618 And I'd like back my son. 403 00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:35,404 Forever. 404 00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:38,664 Or at least until April returns! To claim him. 405 00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:43,871 - We love you. - We love you. 406 00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:48,841 It's true you both have hurt me deeply. 407 00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,593 But I'm no saint. 408 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:53,972 And I have done my fair share of fucked-up shit too. 409 00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:57,055 So it wouldn't be fair to judge two men... 410 00:23:57,228 --> 00:24:00,061 ...who have either entered, Eddie, or exited, Kenny... 411 00:24:00,231 --> 00:24:01,892 ...my vagina. 412 00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:05,275 But your speeches have shown me that you really do care. 413 00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:07,732 And I accept your apologies. 414 00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,521 Yeah! 415 00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:15,531 - My son. - Come on, baby. 416 00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:18,948 - Guess who's back, motherfucker? - I said I forgive you. I never-- 417 00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:20,741 I've been patient enough. 418 00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:25,003 And now, watch me bury this bozo. 419 00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:40,013 Yes! 420 00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,477 That's it, Tam. 421 00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,101 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 422 00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:46,747 Go on, go on. 423 00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:48,791 The speech was good. 424 00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:51,002 Yeah, yours wasn't too bad, either. 425 00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:52,882 You get that from me, you know. 426 00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:55,669 Your throwing arm, that's from your mama. 427 00:25:55,846 --> 00:25:58,975 But your orating skills, that's all me. 428 00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:01,929 Yeah, well, I can definitely see similarities in our styles. 429 00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:04,310 Your bald head actually doesn't look that bad. 430 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,018 Oh, thank you. I like the hair on your shoulders and your neck. 431 00:26:10,528 --> 00:26:11,563 Hey. 432 00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:13,148 Hold on, hold on. 433 00:26:13,322 --> 00:26:15,484 You're not taking my grandbaby on that thing. 434 00:26:15,658 --> 00:26:17,695 How do you expect us to get back to Myrtle? 435 00:26:17,868 --> 00:26:19,859 No. Not my grandbaby. You take the minivan. 436 00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:22,870 - Oh, fuck no. I'm not driving the minivan. - Oh, hell you are. 437 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,292 Listen to your mom, son. 438 00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:27,371 Don't you tell me you're not. You cannot take a baby... 439 00:26:27,545 --> 00:26:29,377 Chapter six. 440 00:26:29,547 --> 00:26:32,289 Fucking making straight-up decisions now, dude. 441 00:26:32,633 --> 00:26:35,045 As my epic comeback nears its zenith... 442 00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:37,460 ...I can't help but look back at the low times... 443 00:26:37,638 --> 00:26:39,629 ...when there was no hope or light. 444 00:26:40,683 --> 00:26:42,890 There's an old expression that has guided me... 445 00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:45,677 ...through the dark valleys and hazy cul-de-sacs of life. 446 00:26:45,855 --> 00:26:48,062 "Nut up or sack up. " 447 00:26:48,232 --> 00:26:50,974 It means when life gets you all swirly and thought-ridden... 448 00:26:51,152 --> 00:26:52,358 ...shut it out. 449 00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:56,192 Let the two spherical sperm factories underneath your dick take over. 450 00:26:58,451 --> 00:27:00,658 They don't think, they don't get confused. 451 00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:03,035 They churn and attack. 452 00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:07,411 And in moments of doubt, my default setting is always to attack. 453 00:27:07,585 --> 00:27:11,874 Whether it be a hitter, or an ump, or a loved one who has stepped out of line.