1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:05,380
No, see, the liquid metal Terminators
were created in the future by Skynet,

2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,382
and Skynet was developed by Miles Dyson,

3
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:11,386
but that future no longer exists
due to Dyson's death in <i>Terminator 2</i>.

4
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,972
Okay, then riddle me this:

5
00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:18,977
Assuming all the good Terminators were
originally evil Terminators created by Skynet

6
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:21,397
but then reprogrammed by
the future John Connor,

7
00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:24,191
why would Skynet,
an artificial computer intelligence,

8
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:28,111
bother to create a petite, hot,
17-year-old killer robot?

9
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,907
Skynet is kinky?

10
00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:33,325
I don't know...

11
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:36,662
Artificial intelligences
do not have teen fetishes.

12
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,413
Allright. Wait! They use it to...

13
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,624
Too late. I win.

14
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:58,100
What the hell is that?

15
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:01,728
I don't know,
but if cats could sing...

16
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,231
they'd hate it, too.

17
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,533
Hey, guys!

18
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:16,702
- Hi! Where you going?


19
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:17,578
- What?

20
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,998
We just had to mail
some letters...

21
00:01:20,990 --> 00:01:21,782
and...

22
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,251
throw away some chicken.

23
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,228
You'll never guess
what just happened.

24
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,271
I give up.

25
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,272
I don't guess.

26
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:49,276
As a scientist, I reach conclusions based
on observation and experimentation.

27
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:50,861
Although as I'm saying this,

28
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:55,365
it occurs to me you may have been employing
a rhetorical device rendering my response moot.

29
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,451
- What was that?

30
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,536
- Believe it or not, personal growth.

31
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:00,954
What happened?

32
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,457
Allright, remember when I auditioned
for that workshop production of <i>Rent</i>,

33
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,250
but I didn't get it
and I couldn't figure out why.

34
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,252
I have a conclusion
based on an observation.

35
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,378
No, you don't.

36
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:09,671
No, he doesn't.

37
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,132
Well, the girl they picked to play Mimi...

38
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,092
she dropped out,
and they asked me to replace her.

39
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,177
Congratulations.

40
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,178
What a lucky break.

41
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,138
It's not a big deal,
just a one-night showcase,

42
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,307
but they invite a lot of casting people and agents.

43
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,225
So, you never know.

44
00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:22,017
- I think I know.

45
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,477
- No, you don't.

46
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,437
Nem tudja.

47
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:26,647
It's this Friday at 8:00.

48
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,523
Do you guys want to come?

49
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:28,732
No!

50
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:31,693
Because...

51
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:37,115
Friday we are attending a symposium
on molecular positronium.

52
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,992
I think that's a week from Tuesday,
at 6:00.

53
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,702
No, it's this Friday.

54
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,579
At 8:00.

55
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:43,956
Oh, too bad.

56
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,082
I gotta get to rehearsal.

57
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,083
- See you guys.
- See ya.

58
00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,340
You just lied to Penny.

58
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,299
- Yes, I did.

60
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:58,679
- And you did it so casually-- 
no rapid breathing, no increase in perspiration...

61
00:02:58,929 --> 00:02:59,680
So?

62
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,274
So, lack of a physiological
response while lying 

63
00:03:02,274 --> 00:03:04,935
is characteristic
of a violent sociopath.

64
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,646
Sheldon, are you worried
about your safety?

65
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,731
No, I imagine if you
were going to kill me,

66
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,441
you'd have done it
a long time ago.

67
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,861
That's very true.

68
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,318
Transcript: swsub.com
Sync: Zsolt

69
00:03:59,766 --> 00:04:02,268
Leonard?

70
00:04:03,269 --> 00:04:04,646
What?

71
00:04:06,564 --> 00:04:08,316
I need to speak to you.

72
00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:10,068
- It's 2:00 in the morning!

73
00:04:10,068 --> 00:04:11,152
- It's important.

74
00:04:11,194 --> 00:04:13,530
I highly doubt that.

75
00:04:14,114 --> 00:04:15,532
Go away!

76
00:04:19,577 --> 00:04:21,454
Are you still out there?

77
00:04:22,372 --> 00:04:23,873
Yes.

78
00:04:25,708 --> 00:04:27,043
What?

79
00:04:28,253 --> 00:04:30,380
You're right;
it can wait until morning.

80
00:04:32,841 --> 00:04:34,050
- What, what, what, what, WHAT?

81
00:04:34,092 --> 00:04:35,260
- Never mind.

82
00:04:35,260 --> 00:04:37,679
I clearly woke you up
in the middle of a REM cycle.


83
00:04:37,679 --> 00:04:39,431
You're in no state of mind to talk.

84
00:04:39,431 --> 00:04:41,266
Sheldon, what is it?

85
00:04:42,767 --> 00:04:46,438
I'm uncomfortable having been
included in your lie to Penny.

86
00:04:46,438 --> 00:04:48,273
What was I supposed to say?

87
00:04:48,273 --> 00:04:49,774
- You could have told her the truth.

88
00:04:49,774 --> 00:04:51,735
- That would have hurt her feelings.

89
00:04:52,318 --> 00:04:54,320
Is that a relevant factor?

90
00:04:54,863 --> 00:04:56,281
Yes!

91
00:04:56,281 --> 00:04:58,450
Then I suppose
you could've agreed to go.

92
00:04:58,450 --> 00:05:00,952
And what would I have said afterwards?

93
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,204
I would suggest something
to the effect of:

94
00:05:03,246 --> 00:05:06,875
singing isneither an appropriate
vocation nor avocation for you,

95
00:05:06,916 --> 00:05:10,420
and if you disagree, I'd recommend you
have a CAT scan to look for a tumor

96
00:05:10,420 --> 00:05:13,423
pressing on the cognitive
processing centers of your brain.

97
00:05:15,175 --> 00:05:17,177
I couldn't say that.
I would have to say,

98
00:05:17,177 --> 00:05:20,805
"You were terrific and I can't wait
to hear you sing again."

99
00:05:21,306 --> 00:05:22,682
Why?

100
00:05:23,183 --> 00:05:25,268
It's the social protocol.

101
00:05:25,268 --> 00:05:29,314
It's what you do when you have a friend
who's proud of something they really suck at.

102
00:05:30,774 --> 00:05:32,358
I was not aware of that.

103
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,535
Well, now you are.

104
00:05:33,535 --> 00:05:35,028
Oh! All right.

105
00:05:35,028 --> 00:05:35,904
Leonard?

106
00:05:35,904 --> 00:05:36,738
Yes?

107
00:05:36,738 --> 00:05:38,990
When we played chess earlier,
you were terrific,

108
00:05:39,032 --> 00:05:40,950
and I can't wait to play you again.

109
00:05:40,950 --> 00:05:42,243
Good night.

110
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:47,791
Leonard?

111
00:05:51,336 --> 00:05:55,090
This would be so much easier
if I were a violent sociopath.

112
00:05:58,093 --> 00:05:59,135
What?

113
00:05:59,135 --> 00:06:00,890
I was analyzing our lie,

114
00:06:00,890 --> 00:06:03,890
and I believe we're in danger
of Penny seeing through the ruse.

115
00:06:03,932 --> 00:06:05,350
How?

116
00:06:05,391 --> 00:06:11,606
Simple: If she were to log onto
"www.socalphysixs-group.org/activities/other"

117
00:06:11,606 --> 00:06:13,858
click on "Upcoming Events,"
scroll down to "Seminars,"

118
00:06:13,858 --> 00:06:15,264
download the PDF schedule,

119
00:06:15,264 --> 00:06:17,404
and look for the seminar
on molecular positronium,

120
00:06:17,404 --> 00:06:19,114
well then. Bippity, boppity, boo--


121
00:06:19,155 --> 00:06:21,241
our pants are metaphorically on fire.

122
00:06:26,704 --> 00:06:29,541
Well, sir, my trousers
will not be igniting today.

123
00:06:32,585 --> 00:06:34,337
Penny?

124
00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:38,716
Good morning!

125
00:06:38,716 --> 00:06:40,760
Do you have any idea
what time it is?

126
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:41,761
Of course I do.

127
00:06:41,761 --> 00:06:44,806
My watch is linked to the atomic clock
in Boulder, Colorado.

128
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,559
Egytized másodpercre pontos.

129
00:06:48,184 --> 00:06:50,353
But as I'm saying this, it occurs to me

130
00:06:50,353 --> 00:06:52,730
that, once again, your question
may have been rhetorical.


131
00:06:53,523 --> 00:06:54,691
What do you want?

132
00:06:54,691 --> 00:06:57,235
Remember how Leonard told you
we couldn't come to your performance

133
00:06:57,277 --> 00:07:00,780
because we were attending a symposium
on molecular positronium?

134
00:07:02,657 --> 00:07:05,326
I remember "symposium."

135
00:07:06,161 --> 00:07:07,162
Yes. Well... 

136
00:07:07,454 --> 00:07:08,913
He lied.

137
00:07:08,913 --> 00:07:10,832
Wait.
What?

138
00:07:10,832 --> 00:07:14,461
He lied, and I'm feeling
very uncomfortable about it.

139
00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:16,463
Well, imagine how I'm feeling.

140
00:07:17,797 --> 00:07:19,215
Hungry?

141
00:07:20,675 --> 00:07:22,093
Tired?

142
00:07:22,552 --> 00:07:24,763
I'm sorry,
this really isn't my strong suit.

143
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,515
You told her I lied?

144
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,350
Why would you tell her I lied?

145
00:07:29,893 --> 00:07:31,394
To help you.

146
00:07:32,771 --> 00:07:34,522
I'm sorry,
I'm not seeing the help.

147
00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,816
She was going to see through
your lie eventually,

148
00:07:36,816 --> 00:07:39,527
so I told her that you
were lying to protect me.

149
00:07:41,071 --> 00:07:42,822
I'm getting a bad feeling.

150
00:07:43,656 --> 00:07:45,075
Hunger?

151
00:07:46,284 --> 00:07:47,243
Indigestion?

152
00:07:47,243 --> 00:07:49,496
I'm sorry, I'm really
not very good at this.

153
00:07:49,996 --> 00:07:52,457
Anyway, Penny now believes that,
on Friday night,

154
00:07:52,499 --> 00:07:56,711
we're going to participate in my cousin
Leopold's drug intervention.

155
00:07:58,463 --> 00:07:59,839
Your cousin Leopold.

156
00:07:59,839 --> 00:08:02,509
Who most people call Leo,
but he also answers to Lee.

157
00:08:02,509 --> 00:08:04,260
- Remember that. It's important.

158
00:08:04,302 --> 00:08:05,470
- What's important?

159
00:08:05,470 --> 00:08:10,350
Details, Leonard-- the success or failure
of our deceitful enterprise turns on details.

160
00:08:10,975 --> 00:08:12,310
- Do you have a cousin Leopold?

161
00:08:12,310 --> 00:08:14,104
- No. I made him up.

162
00:08:15,188 --> 00:08:17,107
I think you'd call him Lee.

163
00:08:18,775 --> 00:08:20,485
I don't get it.
I already told her a lie.

164
00:08:20,527 --> 00:08:22,779
Why replace it with a different lie?

165
00:08:22,779 --> 00:08:25,573
Well, first of all, your lie
was laughably transparent,

166
00:08:25,615 --> 00:08:28,034
where mine is exquisitely convoluted.

167
00:08:29,285 --> 00:08:33,289
While you were sleeping,
I was weaving an un-unravelable web.

168
00:08:34,124 --> 00:08:35,500
Un-unravelable?

169
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,459
Yes.

170
00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:39,546
If she Googles "Leopold Houston,"
she'll find a Facebook page,

171
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:42,090
an online blog depicting
his descent into drug use

172
00:08:42,090 --> 00:08:45,552
and a desperate yet hopeful
listing on eHarmony.com.

173
00:08:47,011 --> 00:08:50,723
Okay, why would I go
to a drug intervention for your cousin?

174
00:08:50,723 --> 00:08:53,518
Because it's in Long Beach,
and I don't drive.

175
00:08:55,687 --> 00:08:56,896
- We're going to Long Beach?

176
00:08:56,896 --> 00:08:57,730
- Of course not. 

177
00:08:57,730 --> 00:08:58,773
There's no cousin Leo.

178
00:08:58,773 --> 00:08:59,732
There's no intervention.

179
00:08:59,732 --> 00:09:00,817
Focus, Leonard.

180
00:09:00,817 --> 00:09:02,277
Aw, come on.

181
00:09:03,403 --> 00:09:07,866
We just leave the house on Friday night and we return
in the wee hours,emotionally wrung out,

182
00:09:07,866 --> 00:09:10,660
from the work of convincing Leo
to go back into rehab.


183
00:09:10,910 --> 00:09:12,454
- He goes back into rehab?

184
00:09:12,495 --> 00:09:16,624
- Yes, but, he can relapse if Penny
ever invites us to hear her sing again.

185
00:09:19,294 --> 00:09:20,962
You still told her I lied.

186
00:09:21,004 --> 00:09:24,384
For a noble purpose--
to spare me the social embarrassment

187
00:09:24,384 --> 00:09:26,384
of having a drug-addled first cousin--


188
00:09:26,384 --> 00:09:28,428
which I'm assuming is embarrassing, yes?

189
00:09:30,722 --> 00:09:32,807
How am I supposed
to remember all of this?

190
00:09:32,849 --> 00:09:33,725
That's the best part.

191
00:09:33,725 --> 00:09:34,601
You don't have to.

192
00:09:34,601 --> 00:09:38,605
I told Penny that you would be embarrassed,
if you knew that she found out that you had lied,

193
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:42,192
so she's agreed to operate as if
the original lie is still in force.

194
00:09:45,361 --> 00:09:49,991
So she's expecting me, to lie
about going to a symposium in Pasadena,

195
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:55,789
when, in actuality, we're pretending to go
to a drug intervention in Long Beach.


196
00:09:55,830 --> 00:09:57,832
Un-unravelable.

197
00:10:00,453 --> 00:10:03,080
Hey Penny! Wow, look at you,
all ready for your showcase.

198
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,040
- You look great.

199
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:04,957
- Thanks.

200
00:10:04,957 --> 00:10:07,084
I just wanted to come by,
wish you guys luck

201
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:09,754
with your... symposium.

202
00:10:11,506 --> 00:10:13,216
Thank you!

203
00:10:13,216 --> 00:10:16,177
I got to tell you, a lot of friends
would let their friend go alone,

204
00:10:16,219 --> 00:10:17,261
but that's not who you are.

205
00:10:17,261 --> 00:10:20,640
You are the kind of guy
who stands by a friend when...

206
00:10:21,307 --> 00:10:24,185
When he has a symposium to go to.

207
00:10:27,438 --> 00:10:29,190
I don't know what to say.

208
00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:31,526
It's okay, Leonard.

209
00:10:31,526 --> 00:10:33,945
Okay, all right, good.

210
00:10:34,612 --> 00:10:36,280
Oh, boy, group hug.

211
00:10:39,325 --> 00:10:40,368
So, what's up?

212
00:10:40,368 --> 00:10:44,580
Well, Penny is on her way to perform
in a one-night showcase production of Rent,
213
00:10:44,622 --> 00:10:46,457
which we are unable to attend,

214
00:10:46,457 --> 00:10:49,656
because we're going to a symposium
on molecular positronium

215
00:10:49,656 --> 00:10:51,921
given by Dr. Emilarmanfarmian.

216
00:10:52,505 --> 00:10:56,467
Wait a minute. Farmanfarmian is speaking
and you're bogarting the symposium?

217
00:10:57,385 --> 00:10:58,094
- Howard, I'm sorr...

218
00:10:58,094 --> 00:11:00,138
- No, no, you're quark-blocking us.

219
00:11:03,141 --> 00:11:05,017
I don't know what to say.

220
00:11:06,853 --> 00:11:07,645
Howard, listen.

221
00:11:07,687 --> 00:11:09,063
It's okay.
It's your Millennium Falcon.

222
00:11:09,105 --> 00:11:11,315
You and Chewbacca
do whatever you wanted.

223
00:11:13,401 --> 00:11:16,529
Me and Princess Leia here will find
some other way to spend the evening.

224
00:11:17,155 --> 00:11:18,197
Howard, wait.

225
00:11:18,865 --> 00:11:21,451
Sheldon,
I think we should tell them.

226
00:11:22,743 --> 00:11:24,370
Okay, sure.

227
00:11:24,871 --> 00:11:26,539
I don't see a problem with that.

228
00:11:27,457 --> 00:11:29,167
There's no symposium.

229
00:11:29,417 --> 00:11:30,501
Leonard lied to me.

230
00:11:30,501 --> 00:11:31,669
Isn't that right, Leonard?

231
00:11:31,711 --> 00:11:33,254
Well...

232
00:11:34,088 --> 00:11:36,215
I don't know what to say!

233
00:11:36,799 --> 00:11:37,800
It's okay; I do.

234
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,428
Leonard is helping Sheldon
through a family crisis.

235
00:11:40,678 --> 00:11:44,390
He made up the whole story
about the symposium with Dr. Farman...

236
00:11:44,390 --> 00:11:45,433
Farmian.

237
00:11:45,433 --> 00:11:46,392
Good for you.

238
00:11:48,269 --> 00:11:50,021
Because he didn't want
Sheldon to be embarrassed.

239
00:11:50,021 --> 00:11:51,981
And there's nothing
to be embarrassed about.

240
00:11:51,981 --> 00:11:54,108
Every family in America has a relative

241
00:11:54,108 --> 00:11:56,944
holed up in a garage somewhere
huffing paint thinner.

242
00:11:58,112 --> 00:11:59,405
No, I'm lost, too.

243
00:11:59,405 --> 00:12:00,990
I think she skipped a step.

244
00:12:01,824 --> 00:12:02,533
No, look.

245
00:12:02,533 --> 00:12:06,537
Sheldon's cousin Leo escaped rehab,
and he's in a Motel 8 in Long Beach.

246
00:12:06,537 --> 00:12:08,372
The whole family's going out
for an intervention.

247
00:12:08,623 --> 00:12:10,494
Leonard is driving Sheldon down there

248
00:12:10,494 --> 00:12:13,294
to help him through this,
because he's such a good man.

249
00:12:13,294 --> 00:12:15,046
Another hug?
Thank you.

250
00:12:17,006 --> 00:12:18,591
All right, you guys, good luck.

251
00:12:18,591 --> 00:12:19,550
Thanks, Penny.

252
00:12:19,550 --> 00:12:20,468
Break a leg!

253
00:12:20,468 --> 00:12:21,594
Break a leg!

254
00:12:23,054 --> 00:12:24,347
So, road trip to Long Beach.

255
00:12:24,347 --> 00:12:26,474
- We're not going to Long Beach.

256
00:12:26,516 --> 00:12:27,266
- Why not?

257
00:12:27,266 --> 00:12:30,269
Because Sheldon doesn't have
a drug-addicted cousin Leopold.

258
00:12:30,269 --> 00:12:31,771
Oh, too bad.

259
00:12:32,939 --> 00:12:34,649
I've always wanted
to go to Long Beach.

260
00:12:35,024 --> 00:12:36,484
It's a very nice community.

261
00:12:36,484 --> 00:12:38,069
The Queen Mary is docked there.

262
00:12:38,069 --> 00:12:41,531
Once the largest ocean liner in the
world, it's now a hotel and restaurant,

263
00:12:41,531 --> 00:12:44,408
where they host a surprisingly gripping
murder mystery dinner.

264
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:46,957
- Sounds fun.
- I'm game.

265
00:12:46,957--> 00:12:47,745
- Shotgun.

266
00:12:47,745 --> 00:12:49,247
- No, no, no.

267
00:12:49,831 --> 00:12:53,042
Leonard gets nauseous unless he sits
in front, and even then, it's iffy.

268
00:12:54,961 --> 00:12:57,713
Wait, are we really
going to Long Beach-re?

269
00:13:04,971 --> 00:13:07,598
Leonard?

270
00:13:08,391 --> 00:13:10,059
Let it go, Sheldon.

271
00:13:10,059 --> 00:13:13,271
The murderer was the first mate
whether it makes sense to you or not.

272
00:13:14,730 --> 00:13:16,566
No, that's the least of our worries.

273
00:13:16,858 --> 00:13:18,568
I've been doing
some research on addiction,

274
00:13:18,568 --> 00:13:20,820
both the biochemical
and behavioral aspects--

275
00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:23,990
and I think there's a problem
with the current version of our lie.

276
00:13:24,407 --> 00:13:25,616
What are you talking about?

277
00:13:25,616 --> 00:13:27,660
It's fine!
She bought it; it's over.

278
00:13:31,414 --> 00:13:33,040
Sadly, it's not.

279
00:13:33,666 --> 00:13:35,698
Substance abuse
is a lifelong struggle,

280
00:13:35,698 --> 00:13:38,819
but beyond that, I have realized
that the Leo I described 

281
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,256
would not have agreed to go to rehab.

282
00:13:40,256 --> 00:13:41,757
- Why not?

283
00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:44,177
Because Leo's a middle child.

284
00:13:44,802 --> 00:13:45,636
There is no Leo!

285
00:13:45,636 --> 00:13:47,180
How can you say that?

286
00:13:51,142 --> 00:13:53,186
You didn't read the bio, did you?

287
00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:56,939
He's not just a middle child,
he is the quintessential middle child--

288
00:13:56,939 --> 00:13:58,441
from a broken home, to boot.

289
00:13:58,441 --> 00:14:01,778
Psychologically speaking,
the attention he gets by rebelling,

290
00:14:01,778 --> 00:14:03,237
even to the point of self-destruction,

291
00:14:03,237 --> 00:14:06,532
is more emotionally valuable
than the help he would get at rehab.

292
00:14:06,532 --> 00:14:07,742
- I've got a solution.

293
00:14:07,784 --> 00:14:08,493
- Great. What is it?

294
00:14:08,534 --> 00:14:10,787
Get out!

295
00:14:11,871 --> 00:14:13,080
Fine.

296
00:14:19,295 --> 00:14:20,963
I've hesitated to point this out,

297
00:14:20,963 --> 00:14:23,466
but I must now remind you
that we are in our current predicament

297
00:14:23,466 --> 00:14:26,135
because of your initial
and totally inadequate deceit.

298
00:14:26,135 --> 00:14:28,387
I'm just trying to clean up
after your mess.

299
00:14:32,642 --> 00:14:34,268
We'll talk in the morning.

300
00:14:46,948 --> 00:14:48,366
Morning.

301
00:14:49,242 --> 00:14:50,701
Who are you?

302
00:14:51,285 --> 00:14:53,579
I am Sheldon's cousin Leo.

303
00:14:58,084 --> 00:15:00,711
Sheldon does not have
a cousin Leo.

304
00:15:00,711 --> 00:15:02,171
<i>Au contraire.</i>

305
00:15:02,547 --> 00:15:04,006
I'm 26 years old.

306
00:15:04,006 --> 00:15:05,466
I'm originally
from... 

307
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:09,470
Denton, Texas,
but I was a Navy brat,

308
00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:12,431
so I was brought up on a variety
of military bases around the world.

309
00:15:12,723 --> 00:15:14,684
As a result, I've often felt
like an outsider--

310
00:15:14,892 --> 00:15:16,394
never really fitting in,

311
00:15:16,394 --> 00:15:18,980
which is probably the reason
for my substance abuse problem.

312
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:22,233
Excuse me,
we just went over this.

313
00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:25,056
As the quintessential middle child,
your addiction is rooted

314
00:15:25,056 --> 00:15:26,612
in your unmet need for attention.

315
00:15:26,988 --> 00:15:29,657
Sheldon, are we really going
to go with pop psychology?

316
00:15:29,907 --> 00:15:32,452
For your information,
this is based on solid research.

317
00:15:32,452 --> 00:15:34,871
Just stick with the character profile
I wrote for you.

318
00:15:35,455 --> 00:15:36,330
Sheldon?

319
00:15:36,372 --> 00:15:37,123
I'm sorry.

320
00:15:37,123 --> 00:15:38,749
Leonard, this is Toby Loobenfeld.

321
00:15:38,749 --> 00:15:41,669
He's a research assistant
in the particle physics lab,

322
00:15:41,669 --> 00:15:44,714
but he also minored in theater at MIT.

323
00:15:45,131 --> 00:15:47,091
It was more of a double major, actually.

324
00:15:47,341 --> 00:15:48,634
Theater and physics.

325
00:15:48,634 --> 00:15:51,345
You can guess which one
my bourgeois parents pushed me toward.

326
00:15:51,387 --> 00:15:52,513
Yeah, I got it.

327
00:15:52,847 --> 00:15:53,973
Sheldon... 

328
00:15:53,973 --> 00:15:55,099
why?

329
00:15:55,099 --> 00:15:57,852
You see, while Leo
would not have gone into rehab,

330
00:15:57,852 --> 00:15:59,604
it is completely plausible,

331
00:15:59,604 --> 00:16:03,566
that we would have talked him into
leaving the motel and coming home with us.

332
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,820
How about this as my motivation--
when I was 14 years old,

333
00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:11,199
I was abused in the Philippines
by a clubfooted Navy chaplain.

334
00:16:13,618 --> 00:16:15,703
No. We're going with middle child

335
00:16:15,703 --> 00:16:18,998
and a genetic predisposition to
inadequate serotonin production.

336
00:16:19,749 --> 00:16:22,960
Swell. How do I play
genetic predisposition?

337
00:16:23,711 --> 00:16:26,005
Subtextually, of course.

338
00:16:29,008 --> 00:16:30,593
Just have fun with it.

339
00:16:36,015 --> 00:16:37,058
- Morning, Penny.

340
00:16:37,058 --> 00:16:38,684
- How did the intervention go?

341
00:16:38,684 --> 00:16:41,854
Unfortunately, we weren't able
to convince him to go to rehab.

342
00:16:41,854 --> 00:16:44,190
Based on what you told me,
I am not surprised.

343
00:16:47,401 --> 00:16:49,821
But we did convince him
to leave the motel.

344
00:16:50,238 --> 00:16:51,864
Come say hello.

345
00:16:52,990 --> 00:16:54,325
Leo.

346
00:16:54,617 --> 00:16:57,620
This is Penny, our friend and neighbor.

347
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:58,913
Hi, Leo.

348
00:16:59,288 --> 00:17:00,832
How are you feeling?

349
00:17:05,878 --> 00:17:07,797
Let me ask you something, Penny.

350
00:17:07,797 --> 00:17:12,468
Have you ever woken up in a
fleabag motel, covered in your own vomit,

351
00:17:12,510 --> 00:17:15,429
next to a transsexual prostitute?

352
00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:18,808
No.

353
00:17:18,850 --> 00:17:22,103
Then don't ask me
how I'm feeling.

354
00:17:24,772 --> 00:17:26,023
Well, that's Leo.

355
00:17:27,984 --> 00:17:30,403
why don't you tell me
about your showcase last night?

356
00:17:30,403 --> 00:17:31,654
It was okay, I guess.

357
00:17:31,696 --> 00:17:34,282
It wasn't a big turnout,
but they both really seemed to like it.

358
00:17:35,032 --> 00:17:36,659
There were only
two people there?

359
00:17:36,659 --> 00:17:38,661
By the end, yeah.

360
00:17:39,537 --> 00:17:41,789
Damn you, Chaplain Harrigan!

361
00:17:44,292 --> 00:17:45,751
I'm... I'm sorry?

362
00:17:45,751 --> 00:17:47,336
The Philippines.

363
00:17:49,547 --> 00:17:51,549
1992.

364
00:17:51,799 --> 00:17:53,926
The Subic Bay Naval Station.

365
00:17:53,926 --> 00:17:56,971
A young boy on the cusp of manhood.

366
00:17:57,722 --> 00:17:59,022
His only companions,

366
00:17:59,022 --> 00:18:02,018
mongrel dogs
and malarial mosquitoes.

367
00:18:02,477 --> 00:18:04,075
Desperate and alone,

368
00:18:04,075 --> 00:18:07,886
he reached out to a man
who promised to introduce him

369
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:12,737
to a merciful, loving God,
but who instead introduced him

370
00:18:12,737 --> 00:18:17,867
to a gin-pickled tongue
shoved down his adolescent throat.

371
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:26,083
What choice did he have but to
drink, shoot and snort his pain away?

372
00:18:27,376 --> 00:18:30,129
Don't forget his genetic predisposition
towards addiction.

373
00:18:30,129 --> 00:18:31,297
- That's never been proven.

374
00:18:31,297 --> 00:18:32,215
- There have been studies.

375
00:18:32,215 --> 00:18:33,341
Not double-blind studies.

376
00:18:33,341 --> 00:18:34,801
How could there be?

377
00:18:34,801 --> 00:18:36,385
Who would be the control group?

378
00:18:36,385 --> 00:18:38,346
As you can see,
detoxing can get pretty ugly.

379
00:18:38,346 --> 00:18:40,264
Let's give them some privacy.

380
00:18:40,681 --> 00:18:42,517
Do you want to come over
and have coffee?

381
00:18:42,517 --> 00:18:43,810
Ah, sounds good.

382
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:46,187
I have a video of me singing last night.

383
00:18:46,187 --> 00:18:47,396
Do you want to see it?

384
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:49,982
Gee, why wouldn't I?

385
00:18:50,274 --> 00:18:52,235
This is even better than you
coming to the showcase,

386
00:18:52,235 --> 00:18:53,820
because now I get to watch you watch me.

387
00:18:53,820 --> 00:18:55,404
Yeeaaahh.

388
00:18:56,489 --> 00:18:58,449
Funny how things work out.

389
00:18:59,826 --> 00:19:02,226
...but he loved the companionship
and the wisdom

390
00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:05,039
that his own father failed to provide.

391
00:19:05,706 --> 00:19:07,834
Your parents made the right decision.

392
00:19:13,381 --> 00:19:15,716
I cannot work like this.

393
00:19:24,684 --> 00:19:26,269
This is amazing.

394
00:19:26,645 --> 00:19:29,564
Just sitting on a couch
watching TV with a woman.

395
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,087
Not being drunk or high

396
00:19:33,087 --> 00:19:35,862
or wondering
if you're a dude down there.

397
00:19:37,739 --> 00:19:41,368
Leo, you are a very sweet,
really funny guy.

398
00:19:41,368 --> 00:19:42,953
You're going to do okay.

399
00:19:43,995 --> 00:19:45,914
One day at a time, Penny.

400
00:19:49,501 --> 00:19:51,670
One day at a time.

401
00:19:56,424 --> 00:19:58,760
How long is he going to stay here?

402
00:19:59,219 --> 00:20:00,720
He's a homeless drug addict Leonard.

403
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,555
Where is he going to go?

404
00:20:03,181 --> 00:20:05,725
Boy, you have a lot
to learn about lying.