1 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:07,404 Here's the problem with teleportation. 2 00:00:10,915 --> 00:00:12,164 Lay it on me. 3 00:00:12,801 --> 00:00:15,699 Assuming a device could be invented which would identify 4 00:00:15,819 --> 00:00:18,438 the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location 5 00:00:18,599 --> 00:00:21,688 and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly, 6 00:00:21,808 --> 00:00:23,859 you would not have actually transported the individual. 7 00:00:24,020 --> 00:00:26,284 You would have destroyed him in one location 8 00:00:26,404 --> 00:00:28,373 and recreated him in another. 9 00:00:30,310 --> 00:00:31,562 How about that. 10 00:00:33,154 --> 00:00:35,154 Personally, I would never use a transporter, 11 00:00:35,274 --> 00:00:37,833 because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated 12 00:00:37,953 --> 00:00:39,954 in order to create a new Sheldon. 13 00:00:41,163 --> 00:00:44,864 Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon? 14 00:00:46,076 --> 00:00:48,112 No, he would be exactly the same. 15 00:00:48,461 --> 00:00:49,901 That is a problem. 16 00:00:50,673 --> 00:00:51,763 So you see it too. 17 00:00:52,903 --> 00:00:54,849 Dr. Hofstadter. Dr. Cooper. 18 00:00:55,059 --> 00:00:56,225 Dr. Gablehauser. 19 00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:58,727 Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Dennis Kim. 20 00:00:59,123 --> 00:01:01,822 Dennis is a highly sought-after doctoral candidate, 21 00:01:01,942 --> 00:01:04,066 and we're hoping he'll do his graduate work here. 22 00:01:04,227 --> 00:01:07,789 - Graduate work. Very impressive. - And he's only 15 years old. 23 00:01:07,909 --> 00:01:11,347 Not bad... I, myself, started graduate school at 14. 24 00:01:11,752 --> 00:01:15,203 Well, I lost a year while my family was tunneling out of North Korea. 25 00:01:17,748 --> 00:01:19,135 Advantage: Kim. 26 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,249 I thought maybe you boys could show Dennis around. 27 00:01:23,369 --> 00:01:26,585 Let him see why we're the best physics research facility in the country. 28 00:01:26,705 --> 00:01:28,050 I already know you're not. 29 00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:31,379 You don't have an Open Science Grid computer or a free electron laser. 30 00:01:31,499 --> 00:01:34,389 And the string theory research being done here is nothing but a dead end. 31 00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:37,953 Excuse me, that is my research, and it is by no means a dead end. 32 00:01:38,471 --> 00:01:41,061 Well, obviously you don't see it yet, but trust me, you will. 33 00:01:43,954 --> 00:01:45,688 Dennis, we've discussed this. 34 00:01:45,808 --> 00:01:47,985 We're in the process of updating our equipment, 35 00:01:48,146 --> 00:01:50,321 and we welcome your input on our research goals. 36 00:01:50,483 --> 00:01:51,986 We've agreed to look the other way 37 00:01:52,106 --> 00:01:54,378 if you use up to 20% of the grant money you attract 38 00:01:54,498 --> 00:01:56,578 to smuggle your grandfather out of Pyongyang. 39 00:01:58,332 --> 00:02:00,257 We want him here, boys. 40 00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,378 - Make it happen. - Yes, sir. 41 00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:04,285 You can count on us. We're on it. 42 00:02:04,405 --> 00:02:06,504 What the hell do you mean, "dead end"? 43 00:02:07,097 --> 00:02:10,047 I mean, the whole landscape of false vacuums in string theory 44 00:02:10,167 --> 00:02:13,454 could be as large as 10 to the 500th power. In addition... 45 00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:15,095 Look, chocolate milk. 46 00:02:18,248 --> 00:02:20,595 I sense a disturbance in the Force. 47 00:02:21,382 --> 00:02:23,883 A bad feeling I have about this. 48 00:02:25,141 --> 00:02:27,356 The Big Bang Theory 1x12 The Jerusalem Duality 50 00:02:48,228 --> 00:02:50,386 So, Dennis, how long have you been in America? 51 00:02:50,506 --> 00:02:52,137 - A year and a half. - No kidding. 52 00:02:52,257 --> 00:02:55,007 - You speak English really well. - So do you. 53 00:02:55,806 --> 00:02:59,065 Except for your tendency to end sentences with prepositions. 54 00:03:00,553 --> 00:03:02,403 What are you talking about? 55 00:03:03,797 --> 00:03:04,620 That. 56 00:03:05,974 --> 00:03:07,273 He's not wrong. 57 00:03:08,401 --> 00:03:10,518 All right... And this is my office. 58 00:03:10,729 --> 00:03:13,153 - Is this part of the tour? - Nope. Goodbye. 59 00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:16,282 Come on Sheldon, we've hardly shown him anything. 60 00:03:16,444 --> 00:03:19,291 All right. This is my desk. 61 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:23,038 These are my books; this is my door. Please close it behind you. Goodbye. 62 00:03:25,403 --> 00:03:27,788 Looks like you're doing work in quantum loop corrections. 63 00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,777 Keen observation. Goodbye. 64 00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:33,033 You see where you went wrong, don't you? 65 00:03:36,629 --> 00:03:37,553 Leonard, get him out. 66 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:41,432 Come on. I'll show you the rec center. They've got Nautilus equipment. 67 00:03:41,767 --> 00:03:43,392 Do I look like I lift weights? 68 00:03:44,573 --> 00:03:45,993 Not heavy ones. 69 00:03:47,257 --> 00:03:49,016 It's startling you haven't considered 70 00:03:49,136 --> 00:03:51,886 a Lorentz invariant or field theory approach. 71 00:03:52,044 --> 00:03:53,666 You think I haven't considered it? 72 00:03:53,786 --> 00:03:55,822 You really think I haven't considered it? 73 00:03:55,984 --> 00:03:57,495 Have you considered it? 74 00:03:58,756 --> 00:04:01,019 - Get him out, Leonard. - Come on, Dennis. 75 00:04:01,139 --> 00:04:03,034 I'll show you the radiation lab. 76 00:04:04,323 --> 00:04:06,207 Wow, you won the Stevenson Award? 77 00:04:06,765 --> 00:04:10,308 Yes. In fact, I am the youngest person ever to win it. 78 00:04:11,028 --> 00:04:12,956 Really? How old? 79 00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:14,506 Fourteen and a half. 80 00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:16,759 You were the youngest person ever to win it. 81 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,057 It's like looking into an obnoxious little mirror, isn't it? 82 00:04:28,306 --> 00:04:30,359 This is really delicious, isn't it? 83 00:04:34,185 --> 00:04:36,781 Still can't talk to me unless you're drunk, huh? 84 00:04:39,129 --> 00:04:41,395 Sweetie, you are so damaged. 85 00:04:43,653 --> 00:04:45,595 Hey, I'm damaged, too. 86 00:04:46,471 --> 00:04:48,154 How about a hug for Howie? 87 00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:50,967 Sure. Raj, hug Howard. 88 00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:57,800 Something you'd like to share? 89 00:04:59,023 --> 00:05:00,976 A tale of woe, perhaps? 90 00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:03,055 15 years old. 91 00:05:03,484 --> 00:05:07,010 Dennis Kim is 15 years old, and he's already correcting my work. 92 00:05:07,255 --> 00:05:10,740 Today, I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, to... 93 00:05:11,396 --> 00:05:13,983 - You know, that other guy. - Antonio Salieri? 94 00:05:15,031 --> 00:05:17,486 Oh God, now even you are smarter than me. 95 00:05:18,799 --> 00:05:20,840 You know, you don't have so many friends 96 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,076 that you can afford to start insulting them. 97 00:05:24,195 --> 00:05:26,078 Just eat, Sheldon, you'll feel better. 98 00:05:26,289 --> 00:05:27,693 Why waste food? 99 00:05:27,813 --> 00:05:30,680 In Texas, when a cow goes dry, they don't keep feeding it, they just... 100 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,550 take her out and shoot her between the eyes. 101 00:05:34,078 --> 00:05:36,719 I'm confused. Did Sheldon stop giving milk? 102 00:05:38,517 --> 00:05:40,474 You can't let this kid get to you. 103 00:05:40,594 --> 00:05:44,005 You always knew that someday someone younger and smarter would come along. 104 00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:46,972 Yes, but I assumed I would've been dead hundreds of years 105 00:05:47,092 --> 00:05:50,395 and that there'd be an asterisk by his name because he'd be a cyborg. 106 00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:55,311 So you've got a little competition. I really don't see what the big deal is. 107 00:05:55,431 --> 00:05:58,459 Of course you don't. You've never excelled at anything. 108 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:04,117 I don't understand exactly how did he get any friends in the first place? 109 00:06:05,048 --> 00:06:06,506 We liked Leonard. 110 00:06:08,748 --> 00:06:10,706 What are you gonna do Sheldon, just give up? 111 00:06:12,566 --> 00:06:15,104 It's what a rational person does when his entire life's work 112 00:06:15,224 --> 00:06:18,442 is invalidated by a postpubescent Asian wunderkind. 113 00:06:19,737 --> 00:06:21,565 He ceases his fruitless efforts, 114 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:24,130 he donates his body to scientific research, 115 00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:25,850 and he waits to die. 116 00:06:27,927 --> 00:06:29,779 I'm confused again. Is he waiting, 117 00:06:29,899 --> 00:06:32,378 or do we get to shoot him between the eyes? 118 00:06:37,469 --> 00:06:40,478 I've decided you're right. My career is not over. 119 00:06:40,688 --> 00:06:41,605 Great! 120 00:06:41,816 --> 00:06:44,493 Since the arrival of Dennis Kim has rendered my research pointless, 121 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,951 I just have to find something else to focus on. 122 00:06:47,345 --> 00:06:48,236 Great! 123 00:06:48,447 --> 00:06:51,081 So I've decided. I'm going to collaborate with you. 124 00:06:54,294 --> 00:06:55,154 Great. 125 00:06:55,955 --> 00:06:57,795 So what exactly is it you do? 126 00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:02,884 You chatter on about it all the time, but I've never really paid attention. 127 00:07:03,732 --> 00:07:06,011 Right now, I'm designing an experiment 128 00:07:06,222 --> 00:07:08,592 to study the soft component of cosmic radiation at see level, 129 00:07:08,712 --> 00:07:11,762 - but I really don't need any help. - Sure you do. 130 00:07:12,513 --> 00:07:15,300 See, what's this here in the schematic? Is that a laser array? 131 00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:16,890 - Yes. - Now... 132 00:07:20,378 --> 00:07:23,320 What happens if you use argon lasers instead of helium-neon? 133 00:07:23,842 --> 00:07:25,823 - It would blow up. - Are you sure? 134 00:07:26,366 --> 00:07:27,408 Pretty sure. 135 00:07:27,570 --> 00:07:29,301 "Pretty sure" is not very scientific. 136 00:07:29,421 --> 00:07:32,789 Is this how you normally work? Just hunches and guesses and stuff? 137 00:07:35,143 --> 00:07:38,002 I understand that you're going through a bit of a career cris, 138 00:07:38,164 --> 00:07:40,254 you're searching for some other area 139 00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:42,344 where you can feel valuable and productive, 140 00:07:42,464 --> 00:07:44,952 but I need to tell you something. I want you to listen carefully. 141 00:07:45,072 --> 00:07:47,488 - All right. - Go away. 142 00:07:50,397 --> 00:07:52,559 If you're concerned about sharing credit with me, 143 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,869 your name can go first... I'm going. 144 00:07:59,263 --> 00:08:01,786 It's a small, brown paper bag, Ma! 145 00:08:01,906 --> 00:08:03,682 I'm looking in it right now. 146 00:08:05,073 --> 00:08:08,344 Why would I make that up? There's no Ding Dong in it. 147 00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:14,719 How are two Ding Dongs tomorrow gonna help me today? 148 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:17,956 So... 149 00:08:18,533 --> 00:08:20,086 This is Engineering, huh? 150 00:08:20,492 --> 00:08:22,062 I'll talk to you later. 151 00:08:22,541 --> 00:08:23,729 Engineering. 152 00:08:23,849 --> 00:08:25,808 Where the noble semiskilled laborers 153 00:08:25,928 --> 00:08:28,345 execute the vision of those who think and dream. 154 00:08:29,547 --> 00:08:31,597 Hello, Oompa-Loompas of science. 155 00:08:34,094 --> 00:08:35,976 Sheldon, what are you doing here? 156 00:08:36,527 --> 00:08:38,388 I just came by to say hello. 157 00:08:38,598 --> 00:08:41,231 I've been in this lab for 3 years. You've never come by to say hello. 158 00:08:41,392 --> 00:08:43,852 Up until now, I've had better things to do. 159 00:08:45,356 --> 00:08:47,215 So, what are we making today? 160 00:08:47,335 --> 00:08:49,385 A small payload support structure 161 00:08:49,505 --> 00:08:51,609 for a European science experimental package 162 00:08:51,729 --> 00:08:55,312 - that's going up on a space shuttle. - Really? How does it work? 163 00:08:55,432 --> 00:08:57,706 When this is done, it will be attached to the payload bay, 164 00:08:57,868 --> 00:09:00,418 and the sensor apparatus will rest on it. 165 00:09:03,327 --> 00:09:04,785 So, it's a shelf. 166 00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:10,970 No, you don't understand. During acceleration, 167 00:09:11,132 --> 00:09:13,498 it needs to stay perfectly level and provide... 168 00:09:13,618 --> 00:09:14,974 Yeah, it's a shelf. 169 00:09:15,804 --> 00:09:17,531 I notice you're using titanium. 170 00:09:17,651 --> 00:09:20,052 Did you give any consideration to carbon nanotubes? 171 00:09:20,172 --> 00:09:23,691 They're lighter, cheaper, and have twice the tensile strength. 172 00:09:24,319 --> 00:09:26,017 There's a diploma in my office 173 00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:28,655 that says I have a master's in engineering. 174 00:09:28,864 --> 00:09:32,616 You also have a note from your mother that says, "I love you, Bubula." 175 00:09:34,905 --> 00:09:38,330 But neither of those is a cogent argument for titanium over nanotubes. 176 00:09:40,502 --> 00:09:42,003 Go away! 177 00:09:43,235 --> 00:09:44,837 Did Leonard tell you to say that? 178 00:09:45,443 --> 00:09:47,172 No, I thought of it all by myself. 179 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:52,128 That can't be a coincidence. 180 00:09:52,501 --> 00:09:55,105 There must be some causal link I'm missing. 181 00:09:58,285 --> 00:09:59,850 Go away! 182 00:10:08,601 --> 00:10:10,507 Curiouser and curiouser. 183 00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:16,668 - Is he here? - If he were, I wouldn't be. 184 00:10:17,778 --> 00:10:20,417 Do you know what he did? He watched me work for 10 min, 185 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:24,506 and then started to design a simple piece of software that could replace me. 186 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,254 Is that even possible? 187 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,148 As it turns out, yes. 188 00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,801 Something's got to be done about him. 189 00:10:33,012 --> 00:10:35,548 Like what? He'll never be able to cope with the fact 190 00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:38,891 that some 15-year-old kid is smarter and more accomplished than he is. 191 00:10:39,626 --> 00:10:41,553 What if something happened to this boy 192 00:10:41,673 --> 00:10:43,646 so he was no longer a threat to Sheldon? 193 00:10:45,328 --> 00:10:47,290 Then our problem would be solved. 194 00:10:48,292 --> 00:10:51,070 Hang on, are we talking about murdering Dennis Kim? 195 00:10:52,407 --> 00:10:53,711 I'm not saying no. 196 00:10:54,895 --> 00:10:58,069 We don't have to go that far. There are other means available. 197 00:10:58,189 --> 00:11:00,357 We can't send him back to North Korea. 198 00:11:00,843 --> 00:11:02,493 He knows how to get out. 199 00:11:04,572 --> 00:11:07,836 The only thing we need to do is make this Kim kid lose his focus. 200 00:11:07,998 --> 00:11:10,881 Won't happen. He is not interested in anything but physics. 201 00:11:11,092 --> 00:11:12,771 - What about biology? - What? 202 00:11:12,891 --> 00:11:14,556 You know, biology. 203 00:11:16,150 --> 00:11:19,325 The one thing that can completely derail a world-class mind. 204 00:11:19,718 --> 00:11:20,599 He's 15. 205 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:23,419 Yeah, so? When I was 15, I met Denise Palmeri 206 00:11:23,607 --> 00:11:26,668 and my grade point average fell from a 5.0 to a 1.8. 207 00:11:27,601 --> 00:11:29,110 She was sleeping with you? 208 00:11:29,450 --> 00:11:30,602 No, I just... 209 00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,989 wasted a lot of time thinking about what it would be like if she did. 210 00:11:35,456 --> 00:11:37,430 Oh, good, you're all here. 211 00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:39,419 Look, if the three of you drop 212 00:11:39,539 --> 00:11:41,522 whatever it is you're working on and join me, 213 00:11:41,642 --> 00:11:45,359 we could lick cold fusion in less than a decade. 12 years, tops. 214 00:11:48,201 --> 00:11:49,128 Go away? 215 00:11:53,511 --> 00:11:54,713 Could it be me? 216 00:11:58,602 --> 00:11:59,608 What's up? 217 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,267 We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys. 218 00:12:04,003 --> 00:12:04,810 What? 219 00:12:04,971 --> 00:12:08,340 Howard, that's racist. Any 15-year-old girl will do the trick. 220 00:12:15,122 --> 00:12:17,872 It's possible she may have misunderstood us. 221 00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:26,116 Dr. Cooper. Are we interrupting? 222 00:12:26,327 --> 00:12:28,805 No, please come in. I think you'll appreciate this. 223 00:12:28,925 --> 00:12:30,336 This is very exciting. 224 00:12:30,498 --> 00:12:32,601 - What are you working on? - Something remarkable. 225 00:12:32,721 --> 00:12:35,258 Since my prospects for the Nobel prize in physics have disappeared 226 00:12:35,468 --> 00:12:37,050 thank you very much, 227 00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:39,451 I've decided to refocus my efforts 228 00:12:39,571 --> 00:12:42,057 and use my people skills to win the Nobel peace prize. 229 00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:44,683 I will solve the Middle East crisis 230 00:12:44,914 --> 00:12:47,090 by building an exact replica of Jerusalem 231 00:12:47,210 --> 00:12:49,460 in the middle of the Mexican desert. 232 00:12:50,368 --> 00:12:51,357 To what end? 233 00:12:51,697 --> 00:12:53,356 It's like the baseball movie. 234 00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:55,335 "Build it and they will come." 235 00:12:56,711 --> 00:12:57,738 Who will come? 236 00:12:58,067 --> 00:12:59,394 The Jewish people. 237 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:03,202 - What if they don't come? - We'll make it nice, put out a spread. 238 00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:06,956 Okay, well, speaking of spreads, 239 00:13:07,076 --> 00:13:09,908 we're having a small welcoming party this afternoon for Mr. Kim 240 00:13:10,028 --> 00:13:12,419 who's agreed to join us here at the university. 241 00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:13,935 Of course he has. 242 00:13:14,055 --> 00:13:16,821 The Oracle told us little Neo was the one. 243 00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:21,460 You can see the matrix, can't you? 244 00:13:22,256 --> 00:13:25,490 Well, obviously you're very busy with your... 245 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,377 Come, Dennis. 246 00:13:28,951 --> 00:13:32,302 You'll have to excuse Dr. Cooper. He's been under a lot of... 247 00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:34,116 He's nuts. 248 00:13:41,205 --> 00:13:44,486 They'll come, they'll settle, and I'll win the prize. 249 00:13:46,362 --> 00:13:49,124 I really don't understand your objections, professor Goldfarb. 250 00:13:49,334 --> 00:13:52,919 Why wouldn't the Sonora desert make a perfectly good promised land? 251 00:13:53,845 --> 00:13:54,884 Go away. 252 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,016 We could call it Nuevo Jerusalem. 253 00:14:00,156 --> 00:14:01,511 Please go away. 254 00:14:02,793 --> 00:14:04,457 Said Pharaoh to Moses. 255 00:14:06,201 --> 00:14:08,018 Why are all these young women here? 256 00:14:08,178 --> 00:14:09,970 It's Take Your Daughter To Work Day. 257 00:14:10,663 --> 00:14:12,406 Really? I was not aware of that. 258 00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:14,916 Yes. There was a very official e-mail 259 00:14:15,076 --> 00:14:17,607 sent to everyone whose insurance files indicated 260 00:14:17,727 --> 00:14:20,363 they had daughters between the ages of 14 and 16. 261 00:14:21,913 --> 00:14:23,348 - Smooth. - Thank you. 262 00:14:25,476 --> 00:14:27,260 There's the man of the hour. 263 00:14:28,995 --> 00:14:31,333 Okay, so we now have a socially-awkward genius 264 00:14:31,493 --> 00:14:33,792 in a room full of attractive, age-appropriate women. 265 00:14:33,912 --> 00:14:36,254 All he has to do now is hook up with one of them. 266 00:14:44,306 --> 00:14:46,532 Anyone else see the flaw in this plan? 267 00:14:48,201 --> 00:14:50,573 - We need a social catalyst. - Like what? 268 00:14:50,693 --> 00:14:52,842 We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk. 269 00:14:53,816 --> 00:14:55,565 - Or can we? - No, we can't. 270 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,793 I don't think you mean "we can't." I think you mean "we shouldn't." 271 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:04,185 You're a Jew. If there was another Wailing Wall 272 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,027 exactly like the one in Jerusalem 273 00:15:06,147 --> 00:15:08,626 but close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs, 274 00:15:08,746 --> 00:15:10,538 would you still be able to wail at it? 275 00:15:12,902 --> 00:15:14,712 Okay, it's definitely me. 276 00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,805 We cannot leave this to chance. Let's pick a girl 277 00:15:19,965 --> 00:15:22,844 and figure out how to get her together with Dennis. 278 00:15:23,450 --> 00:15:24,721 How about that one? 279 00:15:25,535 --> 00:15:26,613 I know the type. 280 00:15:26,733 --> 00:15:28,990 Cheerleader, student council, goes out with the jocks, 281 00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:31,267 won't even look at anybody in the gifted program. 282 00:15:31,429 --> 00:15:33,657 If after 2 years of begging, she agrees to go out with you, 283 00:15:33,777 --> 00:15:36,619 it turns out to be a setup and you're in your mom's car with your pants off 284 00:15:36,739 --> 00:15:38,796 while the whole football team laughs at y... 285 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:44,454 - Are you crying? - No, I have allergies. 286 00:15:46,455 --> 00:15:47,378 Okay... 287 00:15:48,017 --> 00:15:49,097 How about her? 288 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,463 Sure, if he wants to spend two years 289 00:15:52,583 --> 00:15:55,121 doing her homework while she drinks herself into a stupor 290 00:15:55,241 --> 00:15:56,716 with nonfat White Russians. 291 00:15:56,836 --> 00:15:59,341 You're holding her head out of the toilet while she's puking 292 00:15:59,461 --> 00:16:01,507 and telling you she wishes "more guys were like you." 293 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,799 Then she gets into Cornell because you wrote her essay 294 00:16:03,990 --> 00:16:05,950 for her and you drive up to visit her one weekend 295 00:16:06,110 --> 00:16:08,177 and she acts like she doesn't even know you. 296 00:16:11,145 --> 00:16:12,676 Okay, so not her, either. 297 00:16:14,419 --> 00:16:15,503 How about her? 298 00:16:16,244 --> 00:16:17,699 Interesting, kind of pretty, 299 00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:20,108 a little chubby, so probably low self-esteem. 300 00:16:20,228 --> 00:16:22,888 I think that's our girl. One of us should go talk to her. 301 00:16:23,008 --> 00:16:24,804 I can't talk to her... you do it. 302 00:16:24,981 --> 00:16:28,283 I can't just go up and talk to her. Howard, you talk to her. 303 00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:32,411 She'll never go for the kid once she gets a peek at this. 304 00:16:34,937 --> 00:16:36,583 In India, this would be simpler. 305 00:16:36,743 --> 00:16:39,884 5 min with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop, and we'd be done. 306 00:16:40,697 --> 00:16:43,757 - We're not in India. - Why don't we do it your way then? 307 00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:46,550 We'll arrange for this girl to move in across the hall from Dennis 308 00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:49,254 so he can pathetically moon over her for months on end. 309 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:54,052 - Okay, that was uncalled for. - You started it, dude. 310 00:16:55,196 --> 00:16:57,269 Could I have everyone's attention, please? 311 00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:01,154 What a wonderful occasion this is, 312 00:17:01,511 --> 00:17:03,583 and how fortunate that it should happen to fall 313 00:17:03,743 --> 00:17:05,606 on Take Your Daughter to Work Day. 314 00:17:06,471 --> 00:17:10,235 We're here to welcome Mr. Dennis Kim to our little family. 315 00:17:10,742 --> 00:17:12,171 Welcome, Dennis Kim. 316 00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:14,788 Mr. Kim 317 00:17:14,949 --> 00:17:17,850 was not only the valedictorian at Stanford University, 318 00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:20,957 he is also the youngest recipient 319 00:17:21,117 --> 00:17:23,038 of the prestigious Stevenson Award. 320 00:17:23,298 --> 00:17:25,315 Youngest till the cyborgs rise up! 321 00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,552 And now, without any further ado, 322 00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,949 let me introduce the man of the hour, 323 00:17:31,069 --> 00:17:32,730 Mr. Dennis Kim. 324 00:17:38,735 --> 00:17:39,595 What?! 325 00:17:41,349 --> 00:17:44,066 Would you like to tell us a little bit about your upcoming research? 326 00:17:44,558 --> 00:17:46,843 No, thanks. I'm going to the mall with Emma. 327 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,200 The kid got a girl. 328 00:17:55,611 --> 00:17:56,701 Unbelievable. 329 00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,416 Did anyone see how he did it? 330 00:18:01,670 --> 00:18:03,044 Don't worry, I've got this. 331 00:18:03,573 --> 00:18:05,121 Ladies and gentlemen, 332 00:18:05,623 --> 00:18:07,062 honored daughters, 333 00:18:07,539 --> 00:18:10,842 while Mr. Kim, by virtue of his youth and naivete, 334 00:18:10,962 --> 00:18:14,173 has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, 335 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:18,124 let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted, 336 00:18:18,244 --> 00:18:22,159 and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me. 337 00:18:24,048 --> 00:18:24,975 Thank you. 338 00:18:28,062 --> 00:18:30,030 - He's back. - Mission accomplished. 339 00:18:30,366 --> 00:18:33,450 Forget the mission. How did that little yutz get a girl on his own? 340 00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:36,599 I guess times have changed since we were young. 341 00:18:36,719 --> 00:18:38,478 Smart is the new sexy. 342 00:18:39,571 --> 00:18:42,367 Then why do we go home alone every night? We're still smart. 343 00:18:43,031 --> 00:18:44,523 Maybe we're too smart. 344 00:18:44,948 --> 00:18:46,413 So smart it's off-putting. 345 00:18:47,937 --> 00:18:49,584 Yeah, let's go with that. 346 00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:53,829 Unbelievable. 347 00:18:54,162 --> 00:18:56,799 Components I built are on the International Space Station 348 00:18:56,919 --> 00:18:59,433 and I get a ticket for launching a model rocket in the park. 349 00:18:59,594 --> 00:19:01,879 I don't know if the ticket was so much for the launch 350 00:19:01,999 --> 00:19:03,900 as it was for you telling the policewoman, 351 00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:06,933 "You have to frisk me. I have another rocket in my pants." 352 00:19:07,631 --> 00:19:08,735 Look at that. 353 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,098 It's Dennis Kim. 354 00:19:13,311 --> 00:19:15,162 I almost didn't recognize him. 355 00:19:15,860 --> 00:19:18,065 I kind of feel bad about what we did to him. 356 00:19:22,432 --> 00:19:24,398 Yeah, we really ruined his life. 357 00:19:26,244 --> 00:19:27,885 Screw him... He was weak.