1 00:00:02,518 --> 00:00:04,168 Hmm. Some news of our wedding. 2 00:00:04,168 --> 00:00:05,352 I have sent you all 3 00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:06,819 a "save the date" e-mail. 4 00:00:06,820 --> 00:00:08,453 Oh, exciting. You guys picked a date? 5 00:00:08,455 --> 00:00:10,722 Better. I picked 80 dates. 6 00:00:10,724 --> 00:00:11,757 And I need you 7 00:00:11,759 --> 00:00:13,859 to save them all until we narrow it down. 8 00:00:13,861 --> 00:00:16,528 I thought we agreed on June 15. 9 00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:18,497 That's the day after Flag Day. 10 00:00:18,499 --> 00:00:20,599 Everyone'll be partied out. 11 00:00:21,902 --> 00:00:24,202 It's a date-- just pick one. 12 00:00:24,204 --> 00:00:26,772 It's not just a date-- it's a textbook optimization problem. 13 00:00:26,774 --> 00:00:28,941 There is a perfect date-- just like there's 14 00:00:28,943 --> 00:00:31,543 a perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert. 15 00:00:31,545 --> 00:00:33,378 Mm. There's no perfect dessert. 16 00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:35,013 Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur 17 00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:36,982 with chocolate frosting, a scoop of vanilla ice cream 18 00:00:36,984 --> 00:00:39,017 on the side, not touching. 19 00:00:39,019 --> 00:00:39,952 You'll see. 20 00:00:39,954 --> 00:00:42,254 You'll have it at our wedding. 21 00:00:42,990 --> 00:00:45,057 You wanna bet? 22 00:00:45,059 --> 00:00:46,058 You give me 23 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:47,659 enough time, I can do the same thing 24 00:00:47,661 --> 00:00:49,928 with a wedding date-- it needs to be on the weekend, 25 00:00:49,930 --> 00:00:51,763 uh, not near any of your birthdays, 26 00:00:51,765 --> 00:00:53,165 or the weekend of Comic Con. 27 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:54,967 Ooh, you could get married at Comic Con. 28 00:00:54,969 --> 00:00:57,469 No! 29 00:00:57,471 --> 00:00:58,837 We just need a weekend date 30 00:00:58,839 --> 00:01:00,439 that's completely boring and uneventful. 31 00:01:00,441 --> 00:01:02,841 Too bad you didn't get your ducks in a row, 32 00:01:02,843 --> 00:01:05,844 'cause tonight would have been perfect. 33 00:01:06,157 --> 00:01:09,525 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 34 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:12,895 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 35 00:01:12,897 --> 00:01:14,664 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 36 00:01:14,666 --> 00:01:17,300 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 37 00:01:17,302 --> 00:01:19,969 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 38 00:01:19,971 --> 00:01:22,638 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 39 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,540 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 40 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:25,498 ♪ Bang! ♪ 41 00:01:25,499 --> 00:01:29,499 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x03 ♪ The Relaxation Integration Original Air Date on October 9, 2017 42 00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:36,400 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 43 00:01:40,084 --> 00:01:42,484 Good morning. 44 00:01:42,486 --> 00:01:43,852 Good morning. 45 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:47,189 I know today is Apple Jacks day, but... we're all out. 46 00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:49,792 That's fine. I'll have anything. 47 00:01:49,794 --> 00:01:51,560 Really? 48 00:01:51,562 --> 00:01:53,796 Yeah. You know... 49 00:01:53,798 --> 00:01:55,764 whatev. 50 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,133 "Whatev"? 51 00:01:58,135 --> 00:02:00,102 I like this side of you. 52 00:02:00,104 --> 00:02:02,004 You know what I like? 53 00:02:02,006 --> 00:02:04,340 Smooth jazz. 54 00:02:19,957 --> 00:02:21,857 ♪ Da, da, da-da... ♪ 55 00:02:21,859 --> 00:02:23,325 ♪ Da, da-da-da ♪ 56 00:02:23,327 --> 00:02:25,928 ♪ Da, da, da... ♪ 57 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:27,897 Hey, just a reminder-- 58 00:02:27,899 --> 00:02:29,114 I'm going out for drinks after work. 59 00:02:29,138 --> 00:02:30,200 Oh. Great. 60 00:02:30,201 --> 00:02:32,902 Just a reminder-- you're pregnant. 61 00:02:32,904 --> 00:02:36,305 I'm not drinking, just taking a new coworker out. 62 00:02:36,307 --> 00:02:39,609 Oh. Just a reminder-- you're married. 63 00:02:40,445 --> 00:02:42,245 Female coworker. 64 00:02:42,247 --> 00:02:44,614 She's new in town, and I want to make her feel welcome. 65 00:02:44,616 --> 00:02:46,916 And let her know the office is full of liars 66 00:02:46,918 --> 00:02:49,652 before everyone tells her I'm mean. 67 00:02:49,654 --> 00:02:51,254 Is she single? 68 00:02:51,256 --> 00:02:53,756 I'm not setting her up with Raj. 69 00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,091 What about Stuart? Are you listening? 70 00:02:55,093 --> 00:02:58,127 I want her to think I'm not mean. 71 00:02:58,129 --> 00:02:59,962 Okay. Well, it's just... 72 00:02:59,964 --> 00:03:02,031 we have two single friends. 73 00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:04,233 Howie, I just met this woman. 74 00:03:04,235 --> 00:03:06,969 Why don't I wait a little and get to know her? 75 00:03:06,971 --> 00:03:09,205 Maybe I won't like her, and then I'd be happy 76 00:03:09,207 --> 00:03:11,407 to ruin her life with Stuart or Raj. 77 00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:14,744 That's all I ask. 78 00:03:17,515 --> 00:03:19,548 So, you guys lived with Sheldon for a long time... 79 00:03:19,550 --> 00:03:22,151 Long time. So very long. 80 00:03:23,221 --> 00:03:25,388 By the way, congratulations again on your engagement. 81 00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:28,758 Yeah. You got a good one. 82 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,393 Thanks. So, it's strange, 83 00:03:30,395 --> 00:03:32,862 Sheldon was talking in his sleep last night, 84 00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:35,331 and he seemed like a totally different person. 85 00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:37,400 He was relaxed and... 86 00:03:37,402 --> 00:03:39,535 loose and calm. 87 00:03:39,537 --> 00:03:41,537 Well, Sheldon's a complicated man. 88 00:03:41,539 --> 00:03:43,072 He said "whatev." 89 00:03:43,074 --> 00:03:46,042 Give him a brain scan-- that might be a tumor. 90 00:03:46,044 --> 00:03:48,377 Well, I think the wedding planning 91 00:03:48,379 --> 00:03:51,747 is really stressful for him, and that can trigger sleep talking. 92 00:03:51,749 --> 00:03:53,616 Well, maybe this is a part of Sheldon's personality 93 00:03:53,618 --> 00:03:55,017 he's been repressing. 94 00:03:55,019 --> 00:03:56,619 I mean, I think we dream about things 95 00:03:56,621 --> 00:03:58,321 we wish we could be in real life. 96 00:03:58,323 --> 00:04:00,089 Really? What do you dream about? 97 00:04:00,091 --> 00:04:03,392 Oh. Uh... being the wife of Leonard. 98 00:04:03,394 --> 00:04:04,794 Mostly that. 99 00:04:06,698 --> 00:04:09,498 I choose to believe you. 100 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:11,867 Well, as much as we've studied the brain, there's still a lot 101 00:04:11,869 --> 00:04:13,469 we don't know about dreams and their function. 102 00:04:13,471 --> 00:04:15,504 You know, even psychologists are divided on it. 103 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,840 Mm, it's true-- Freud thought dreams were about sex, 104 00:04:17,842 --> 00:04:19,229 Adler thought they were about dominance... 105 00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:20,007 Then again, 106 00:04:20,011 --> 00:04:23,813 mine are just about being married to this little guy. 107 00:04:23,815 --> 00:04:27,116 Well, now it's just edging into mockery. 108 00:04:29,554 --> 00:04:32,188 Well, moving to a new city was a little scary, 109 00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:33,656 but the job seems great. 110 00:04:33,658 --> 00:04:35,124 Everyone's really nice. 111 00:04:35,126 --> 00:04:37,026 Oh, they are. Super nice. 112 00:04:37,028 --> 00:04:39,261 I mean, only one them took you out tonight-- 113 00:04:39,263 --> 00:04:41,364 but it's not a competition. 114 00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:42,598 Thanks again. 115 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,600 You know, we could have gone somewhere 116 00:04:44,602 --> 00:04:46,702 more pregnancy-friendly. 117 00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:48,537 Oh, it's okay. One of the great things 118 00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:50,706 about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice 119 00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:53,809 out of a wineglass and watching people freak out. 120 00:04:53,811 --> 00:04:55,578 Bernie! 121 00:04:56,314 --> 00:04:58,014 Oh, damn. 122 00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:02,051 Hey! What are the odds? 123 00:05:02,053 --> 00:05:05,554 Yeah, seren-frickin'-dipity. 124 00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:06,689 Hello. 125 00:05:06,691 --> 00:05:08,491 - Rajesh. - Stuart. 126 00:05:08,493 --> 00:05:09,325 Hi. Ruchi. 127 00:05:09,327 --> 00:05:11,327 Ruchi is my coworker. 128 00:05:11,329 --> 00:05:14,230 But that was probably in your briefing packet. 129 00:05:20,605 --> 00:05:21,937 Hi. 130 00:05:21,939 --> 00:05:23,239 Hello. 131 00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:24,573 What's wrong? 132 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:27,109 Well, I found the perfect wedding date. 133 00:05:27,111 --> 00:05:28,778 - That's terrific! - No, it's not. 134 00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:32,782 It was May 19, 1996. 135 00:05:33,718 --> 00:05:35,384 We would have had a lovely wedding. 136 00:05:35,386 --> 00:05:36,952 And our honeymoon would have coincided 137 00:05:36,954 --> 00:05:40,589 with the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet. 138 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:41,991 Sheldon, you were 16. 139 00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:44,894 And in Texas-- no one would have batted an eye. 140 00:05:44,896 --> 00:05:46,495 Oh, wait, it's no good. 141 00:05:46,497 --> 00:05:49,198 That's the day that Jon Pertwee, the third Doctor Who, died. 142 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,566 And it's in the past. 143 00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:53,002 Hey-hey, I said it's no good-- just let it go. 144 00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:54,737 Sheldon... 145 00:05:54,739 --> 00:05:57,773 I appreciate you trying to make this wedding perfect, 146 00:05:57,775 --> 00:06:00,076 but it's making you miserable. 147 00:06:00,078 --> 00:06:02,278 No, the wedding isn't making me miserable, 148 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,446 the calendar is. 149 00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:05,815 Why can't there just be one week each month 150 00:06:05,817 --> 00:06:08,417 for famous people to die? 151 00:06:08,419 --> 00:06:10,519 Well, they've already arranged to die in threes-- 152 00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:12,655 what more do you want from them? 153 00:06:12,657 --> 00:06:16,125 This is so frustrating. Why can't I find a perfect date? 154 00:06:16,127 --> 00:06:19,261 I found the perfect way to say hi to cowboys. 155 00:06:20,832 --> 00:06:24,166 I'm just saying maybe there's a part of you deep down that... 156 00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:26,735 just wants to relax a little, you know? 157 00:06:26,737 --> 00:06:28,137 Kick back. 158 00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:30,639 Say, "Whatev." 159 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:33,142 Whatev? 160 00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:35,644 I'm sorry, you're really not gonna finish that word? 161 00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:38,013 I-I'm just trying to make a point... 162 00:06:38,015 --> 00:06:39,482 Finish the word, Amy. 163 00:06:39,484 --> 00:06:41,784 Fine. Er. 164 00:06:42,787 --> 00:06:43,886 Er, er, er. 165 00:06:43,888 --> 00:06:44,954 Thank you. 166 00:06:44,956 --> 00:06:47,790 Only now you owe me three more whatevs. 167 00:06:49,894 --> 00:06:52,094 Oh, you were born in Trivandrum. 168 00:06:52,096 --> 00:06:55,064 Have you ever been to the Kuthira Malika Palace? 169 00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:56,332 No, I haven't. 170 00:06:56,334 --> 00:06:59,034 Me, either. What a small world. 171 00:07:00,171 --> 00:07:01,904 I've also never been there. 172 00:07:01,906 --> 00:07:03,672 I've never been lots of places. 173 00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,741 Go on, quiz me. 174 00:07:05,743 --> 00:07:08,277 I'm sorry, we're being rude talking about India. 175 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,045 Oh, yeah, you know, if you and Bernadette 176 00:07:10,047 --> 00:07:12,181 want to talk about America, that's cool with us. 177 00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:13,682 Here, let me get you started. 178 00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:16,752 Hamburgers. Am I right? 179 00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:19,922 So, what do you guys do? 180 00:07:19,924 --> 00:07:21,891 Well, I am an astrophysicist, 181 00:07:21,893 --> 00:07:25,561 so if you ever go out at night and look up at the stars, 182 00:07:25,563 --> 00:07:27,329 that's kind of my office. 183 00:07:28,332 --> 00:07:31,433 He sells comic books to children. 184 00:07:31,435 --> 00:07:32,868 Actually, 185 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,237 I own my own store. Uh, i-if you'd like 186 00:07:35,239 --> 00:07:37,973 to check it out sometime, I'm running a new promotion-- 187 00:07:37,975 --> 00:07:42,111 buy anything, get taken out for a reasonably priced dinner. 188 00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:45,281 Yeah, yeah, Stuart's struggling financially. 189 00:07:45,283 --> 00:07:46,882 But he doesn't let that get him down. 190 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:47,983 He believes in himself. 191 00:07:47,985 --> 00:07:50,152 Even though the whole world has made it clear 192 00:07:50,154 --> 00:07:52,555 he should not. 193 00:07:54,192 --> 00:07:55,991 Thank you. 194 00:07:55,993 --> 00:07:58,194 A-And, you know, Raj, I think it's great 195 00:07:58,196 --> 00:08:01,363 that you no longer live off your parents like a spoiled child. 196 00:08:01,365 --> 00:08:03,866 You live over someone's garage like a... 197 00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:05,734 failed adult. 198 00:08:06,504 --> 00:08:08,537 Yeah, well, you live with her. 199 00:08:09,407 --> 00:08:10,606 Oh, it's not like that. 200 00:08:10,608 --> 00:08:12,741 He rents a room from me and my husband. 201 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:15,744 Who, by the way, is no prize, either. 202 00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,283 Oh, I don't care. 203 00:08:21,285 --> 00:08:24,520 You know me-- I just go with the flow. 204 00:08:26,724 --> 00:08:29,358 Beach, public pool... 205 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:32,294 They both sound awesome. 206 00:08:33,598 --> 00:08:36,432 On second thought, beach. 207 00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:39,201 I'd like to befriend a seagull. 208 00:08:40,037 --> 00:08:41,904 That is crazy. 209 00:08:41,906 --> 00:08:45,207 Yeah. Will you e-mail that to me? 210 00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:47,810 Have you played this for him? 211 00:08:47,812 --> 00:08:50,579 No. I'm worried he'll say I violated his privacy. 212 00:08:50,581 --> 00:08:52,615 Listen how happy he sounds. 213 00:08:52,617 --> 00:08:54,717 I'm up for anything, 214 00:08:54,719 --> 00:08:57,720 as long as I'm with you. 215 00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,990 - What are you listening to? - Nothing. 216 00:09:00,992 --> 00:09:03,192 Oh, come on, I want to hear. 217 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:07,363 We don't need GPS. 218 00:09:07,365 --> 00:09:10,666 Let's just see where the road takes us. 219 00:09:11,502 --> 00:09:13,269 I see why you turned it off. 220 00:09:13,271 --> 00:09:15,271 That guy sounds like an idiot. 221 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,640 Honey, that's you. 222 00:09:17,642 --> 00:09:20,809 Don't be silly. My voice is deep and sonorous. 223 00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:23,579 Like a Caucasian James Earl Jones. 224 00:09:25,049 --> 00:09:28,217 "Luke, I am your father." See? 225 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,618 It is you. 226 00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:32,021 I recorded you in your sleep. 227 00:09:32,023 --> 00:09:34,456 Oh, look-- a hitchhiker. 228 00:09:34,458 --> 00:09:38,661 I bet he has some interesting stories. 229 00:09:38,663 --> 00:09:40,963 That's me? 230 00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:41,964 It's you. 231 00:09:41,966 --> 00:09:44,867 So you spied on me in my sleep? 232 00:09:44,869 --> 00:09:45,968 Sheldon, I'm sorry. 233 00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:47,503 You've been doing this every night. 234 00:09:47,505 --> 00:09:50,005 I couldn't help but wonder if it meant something. 235 00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:50,939 Well, it doesn't. 236 00:09:50,941 --> 00:09:52,541 Are you sure? 237 00:09:52,543 --> 00:09:55,477 I mean, the prefrontal cortex regulates impulse control. 238 00:09:55,479 --> 00:09:56,779 So it's plausible 239 00:09:56,781 --> 00:09:58,914 that when we're asleep, aspects of our personality 240 00:09:58,916 --> 00:10:00,783 that we repress might come out. 241 00:10:00,785 --> 00:10:04,620 Don't try to put science lipstick on your New Age pig! 242 00:10:04,622 --> 00:10:06,288 And for the record, 243 00:10:06,290 --> 00:10:08,657 you make noises when you sleep, and I've never accused you 244 00:10:08,659 --> 00:10:11,360 of repressing your inner chainsaw. 245 00:10:14,398 --> 00:10:16,365 If you want me to object at your wedding, 246 00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:18,467 just give me one of these. 247 00:10:28,983 --> 00:10:31,750 This picture of Galactus eating a planet looks like 248 00:10:31,752 --> 00:10:34,486 my preggo wife destroying a coffee cake. 249 00:10:36,857 --> 00:10:39,324 Oh, yeah, I see it. 250 00:10:39,326 --> 00:10:41,160 I'm just saying, you should bow out. 251 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:43,028 Why should I bow out? 252 00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:45,397 Uh, because we all know how this is gonna end. 253 00:10:45,399 --> 00:10:48,867 That's what my doctor said, too, but I'm still here. 254 00:10:51,105 --> 00:10:55,040 Okay, look, I think that she and I have more in common. 255 00:10:55,042 --> 00:10:56,975 Because you're Indian? 256 00:10:56,977 --> 00:10:59,678 So just 'cause she's brown, you get to date her? 257 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,079 Yes! 258 00:11:01,081 --> 00:11:03,081 And the next time we meet a woman 259 00:11:03,083 --> 00:11:05,684 who's pale and cadaver-like, she's all yours. 260 00:11:06,887 --> 00:11:09,421 Howard, Bernadette was there last night. 261 00:11:09,423 --> 00:11:11,356 Did she say anything when she got home? 262 00:11:11,358 --> 00:11:14,326 Yeah, she said, "Why'd you tell those idiots where I was? 263 00:11:14,328 --> 00:11:15,694 Thanks a lot." 264 00:11:15,696 --> 00:11:16,902 Okay, how about we flip a coin? 265 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,264 Look, hang on. 266 00:11:18,265 --> 00:11:20,599 Doesn't this girl get a word in all of this? 267 00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:23,001 And isn't that word "no"? 268 00:11:23,003 --> 00:11:25,737 Ruchi said she wanted to hang out with both of us. 269 00:11:25,739 --> 00:11:27,206 Why don't we just do that? 270 00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:30,576 Oh, fine. Let's hang out as friends and see what happens. 271 00:11:30,578 --> 00:11:33,278 Yeah, and if something grows out of it, just worry about it then. 272 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,113 Also what my doctor said. 273 00:11:38,686 --> 00:11:41,720 Hey, this isn't your laundry night. 274 00:11:41,722 --> 00:11:44,490 I know. Laundry on a Wednesday. 275 00:11:44,492 --> 00:11:46,592 It's the madness my life has become. 276 00:11:48,162 --> 00:11:51,129 Why is this sleep-talking thing bothering you anyway? 277 00:11:51,131 --> 00:11:52,297 It's simple. 278 00:11:52,299 --> 00:11:53,665 I don't like the idea 279 00:11:53,667 --> 00:11:56,468 that my mind might be keeping an entire personality from me. 280 00:11:56,470 --> 00:11:59,238 Dr. Jekyll's other personality was Mr. Hyde. 281 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,073 Mr. Hyde. 282 00:12:01,075 --> 00:12:04,710 Didn't have a postgraduate degree. 283 00:12:04,712 --> 00:12:06,612 Is it possible that you're stressed 284 00:12:06,614 --> 00:12:08,981 because you're scared about getting married? 285 00:12:08,983 --> 00:12:10,849 I mean, it is a big change, 286 00:12:10,851 --> 00:12:12,718 and you're not good with little changes. 287 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,586 Well, that's nonsense. 288 00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:17,389 You name one little change I was upset with. 289 00:12:17,391 --> 00:12:21,593 Uh, when they changed the green Skittle from lime to apple. 290 00:12:21,595 --> 00:12:24,296 That is not the rainbow I grew up tasting. 291 00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:26,999 All right, fine. Let's start over. 292 00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:28,267 Is it possible 293 00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,602 that the sleep-talking is a part of your brain 294 00:12:30,604 --> 00:12:32,304 that's telling you everything's gonna be okay 295 00:12:32,306 --> 00:12:34,373 and you just need to relax a little? 296 00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:39,011 So you're proposing that the self is an illusion, 297 00:12:39,013 --> 00:12:41,947 and that we actually have multiple centers 298 00:12:41,949 --> 00:12:45,250 of consciousness that are communicating with one another? 299 00:12:46,954 --> 00:12:50,122 In laymen's terms, yeah. 300 00:12:50,124 --> 00:12:52,324 Huh. Interesting. 301 00:12:52,326 --> 00:12:54,960 So you don't believe there's a Cartesian self 302 00:12:54,962 --> 00:12:57,496 that underlies the flux of experience? 303 00:12:57,498 --> 00:13:00,132 Maybe in my twenties, not anymore. 304 00:13:01,468 --> 00:13:05,037 Okay. Well, assuming you're right, 305 00:13:05,039 --> 00:13:07,172 what would you suggest I do? 306 00:13:07,174 --> 00:13:09,141 Well, I would start with something small, 307 00:13:09,143 --> 00:13:10,642 see if it makes your life any better. 308 00:13:10,644 --> 00:13:13,979 Um, you can learn to meditate, take a yoga class. 309 00:13:13,981 --> 00:13:18,150 Oh. You know, I have always been intrigued by flip-flops. 310 00:13:20,154 --> 00:13:23,422 The official footwear of the laid-back fellow. 311 00:13:23,424 --> 00:13:25,657 - Okay, sure. - Of course if my feet 312 00:13:25,659 --> 00:13:28,327 are gonna be exposed, I'll need to update my tetanus booster. 313 00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:30,596 Oh, yeah. Makes sense. Yeah. And while I'm there, 314 00:13:30,598 --> 00:13:32,502 I may as well get a flu shot and a mole check. 315 00:13:32,526 --> 00:13:34,067 Sure. 316 00:13:34,068 --> 00:13:36,201 You know, I've never had a mole check. 317 00:13:36,203 --> 00:13:38,003 Ooh! 318 00:13:38,005 --> 00:13:39,905 Well, it's been nice knowing you. 319 00:13:42,676 --> 00:13:44,209 Here you go. 320 00:13:44,211 --> 00:13:45,744 Thanks. 321 00:13:45,746 --> 00:13:48,347 It's too bad Stuart couldn't make it. He seemed fun. 322 00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:51,249 Oh, yeah, he is. I love him dearly, yeah. 323 00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:53,785 Not to say that I don't worry about him. 324 00:13:53,787 --> 00:13:55,053 What's to worry about? 325 00:13:55,055 --> 00:13:57,089 You know what? 326 00:13:57,091 --> 00:13:58,991 I'm talking out of school. 327 00:14:00,394 --> 00:14:03,862 Speaking of which, he's allowed to live near them now. 328 00:14:04,832 --> 00:14:06,832 Hey, guys. 329 00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:08,667 - Oh, great, Stuart. You're here. - Yeah, Stuart. 330 00:14:08,669 --> 00:14:10,902 Yeah, I did... I didn't think you were gonna make it. 331 00:14:10,904 --> 00:14:13,071 Mm. I believe that. 332 00:14:14,475 --> 00:14:16,875 Sorry, guys. It's work. I've got to take it. 333 00:14:16,877 --> 00:14:17,396 Oh. 334 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,078 I'm so glad you made it, Stuart. 335 00:14:19,079 --> 00:14:22,080 Oh, yeah, so glad. 336 00:14:22,082 --> 00:14:24,216 I can't believe you went behind my back! 337 00:14:24,218 --> 00:14:26,652 Which clearly means I want this more! 338 00:14:26,654 --> 00:14:31,289 You want to play a game of "who's more desperate" with me? 339 00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:34,559 'Cause you're in the big leagues now, Bucko. 340 00:14:34,561 --> 00:14:36,662 L-Look, Ruchi and I are really hitting it off. 341 00:14:36,664 --> 00:14:38,330 Please let me just have this one! 342 00:14:38,332 --> 00:14:39,631 I'm not going anywhere. 343 00:14:39,633 --> 00:14:42,467 I'm like a fungus you can't get rid of. 344 00:14:42,469 --> 00:14:44,036 Sorry. 345 00:14:44,038 --> 00:14:45,804 So what's going on? 346 00:14:45,806 --> 00:14:47,673 Oh, you just missed Stuart's funny story 347 00:14:47,675 --> 00:14:49,941 about the fungus he can't get rid of. 348 00:14:49,943 --> 00:14:53,278 Raj didn't tell me about tonight 349 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,313 so he could be alone with you. 350 00:14:55,315 --> 00:14:57,215 Really? 351 00:14:57,217 --> 00:14:58,583 That's a little weird. 352 00:14:58,585 --> 00:15:01,687 Just a little? Because I can work with that. 353 00:15:01,689 --> 00:15:05,223 Look, guys, I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. 354 00:15:05,225 --> 00:15:07,526 I'm just looking to make some friends. 355 00:15:07,528 --> 00:15:09,227 Yeah, I totally understand. 356 00:15:09,229 --> 00:15:10,962 But if you were gonna date someone, 357 00:15:10,964 --> 00:15:12,964 would it be me or Stuart? 358 00:15:12,966 --> 00:15:15,267 I think I'm gonna go. 359 00:15:15,269 --> 00:15:18,470 Uh, uh, uh, uh, Ruchi, I'm sorry. 360 00:15:18,472 --> 00:15:21,339 If you still want to hang out as friends, I'd like that. 361 00:15:21,341 --> 00:15:23,775 Thanks, Stuart. I'd like that, too. 362 00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:29,848 And the fungus is under the toenail. 363 00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:45,897 Hello. 364 00:15:45,899 --> 00:15:47,365 Hey. 365 00:15:48,902 --> 00:15:51,503 So, um, I, uh... 366 00:15:52,906 --> 00:15:55,340 I got flip-flops. 367 00:15:56,176 --> 00:15:58,376 Good for you. 368 00:15:58,378 --> 00:16:00,545 Oh, my God, what happened?! 369 00:16:00,547 --> 00:16:02,781 After I got the flip-flops, 370 00:16:02,783 --> 00:16:06,618 I realized that the tops of my feet were exposed, so, um, 371 00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,520 I-I put on some sunscreen, 372 00:16:08,522 --> 00:16:10,989 which caused my feet to become slippery. 373 00:16:10,991 --> 00:16:13,692 And predictably, one of them fell off 374 00:16:13,694 --> 00:16:15,794 and went down a sewer grate. 375 00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:18,563 Now, normally, I would have walked away, 376 00:16:18,565 --> 00:16:22,667 but this is a new, laid-back me, so, 377 00:16:22,669 --> 00:16:26,304 instead of getting upset, I just reached down to grab it. 378 00:16:26,306 --> 00:16:29,808 That's when I touched something furry... 379 00:16:31,812 --> 00:16:36,148 ...which I'm telling myself was a damp toupee. 380 00:16:37,484 --> 00:16:40,585 When the toupee licked my hand... 381 00:16:44,191 --> 00:16:47,192 ...I screamed and hopped down the street 382 00:16:47,194 --> 00:16:49,261 on my remaining flip-flop. 383 00:16:49,263 --> 00:16:51,051 Can I just ask...? 384 00:16:51,075 --> 00:16:52,698 No, this is a long story. 385 00:16:52,699 --> 00:16:55,934 Why don't we please save your questions till the end? 386 00:16:55,936 --> 00:16:58,870 So, I-I finally came upon a bus bench 387 00:16:58,872 --> 00:17:01,706 where I sat and removed one of my shirts 388 00:17:01,708 --> 00:17:04,943 and, uh, fashioned it into a makeshift shoe. 389 00:17:06,146 --> 00:17:07,712 Not a waterproof shoe. 390 00:17:07,714 --> 00:17:11,149 That is relevant to the next part of my story. 391 00:17:11,151 --> 00:17:15,520 The ankle-deep puddle of warm apple juice. 392 00:17:16,390 --> 00:17:18,924 Apple juice? 393 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,427 Maybe, maybe not. 394 00:17:24,097 --> 00:17:27,933 I'm telling myself a lot of things, Amy. 395 00:17:27,935 --> 00:17:31,636 What happened to your other flip-flop? 396 00:17:31,638 --> 00:17:33,605 Oh, well, that involves 397 00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:38,577 what I am telling myself was a... melted candy bar. 398 00:17:42,749 --> 00:17:44,916 Okay. I-I'm sorry. 399 00:17:44,918 --> 00:17:47,519 Is there anything I can do to help? 400 00:17:47,521 --> 00:17:52,524 Yes. I want you to be in charge of our wedding. 401 00:17:52,526 --> 00:17:54,426 Just you tell me where and when, 402 00:17:54,428 --> 00:17:56,494 and I will show up with a boutonniere 403 00:17:56,496 --> 00:17:58,864 and close-toed shoes and a... 404 00:17:58,866 --> 00:18:02,434 a Star Trek uniform underneath my tuxedo. 405 00:18:04,204 --> 00:18:07,339 That last part is non-negotiable. 406 00:18:07,341 --> 00:18:09,841 Are you sure that's what you want? 407 00:18:09,843 --> 00:18:13,044 As sure as I'm about to go bathe in Purell. 408 00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:18,583 I love you. I love you, too. 409 00:18:19,887 --> 00:18:22,520 You know, ever since I was a young girl, 410 00:18:22,522 --> 00:18:25,423 I-I've dreamed of a June wedding, 411 00:18:25,425 --> 00:18:29,794 maybe on a cliff overlooking the ocean at sunset. 412 00:18:31,265 --> 00:18:33,431 Sure. 413 00:18:35,669 --> 00:18:38,103 Sounds wonderful. 414 00:18:38,105 --> 00:18:42,007 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go clean up. 415 00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:48,914 Outdoor wedding. 416 00:18:48,916 --> 00:18:51,249 I know what I'll be using that cliff for. 417 00:19:02,556 --> 00:19:05,891 I call this meeting of the Council of Sheldons to order. 418 00:19:05,893 --> 00:19:08,293 Let's take roll. 419 00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:10,429 Science Sheldon? 420 00:19:10,431 --> 00:19:13,298 Present. 421 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:14,900 Texas Sheldon? 422 00:19:14,902 --> 00:19:16,301 Howdy. 423 00:19:18,272 --> 00:19:20,239 Fanboy Sheldon? 424 00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:21,907 Greetings. 425 00:19:23,410 --> 00:19:25,377 Germaphobe Sheldon? 426 00:19:25,379 --> 00:19:28,313 Say it, don't spray it. 427 00:19:30,484 --> 00:19:32,751 Where's Jock Sheldon? 428 00:19:34,121 --> 00:19:36,154 Not the time, Humorous Sheldon! 429 00:19:37,558 --> 00:19:40,092 Okay, new business. 430 00:19:40,094 --> 00:19:44,229 Do we grant Laid-Back Sheldon a seat on the council? 431 00:19:44,231 --> 00:19:46,798 Hey, whatever you guys want. 432 00:19:48,035 --> 00:19:52,437 I'm just chillin' like Bob Dylan. 433 00:19:52,439 --> 00:19:54,473 - Negative. - Heck, no! 434 00:19:54,475 --> 00:19:57,175 I don't feel well. 435 00:20:00,094 --> 00:20:01,960 Can we kick him out, too? 436 00:20:04,139 --> 00:20:11,039 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man