1
00:00:02,844 --> 00:00:04,644
This was a good idea.
2
00:00:04,646 --> 00:00:05,978
It's been a long time
since we've had girls' night.
3
00:00:05,980 --> 00:00:08,014
Yeah, it's so nice to
have a relaxing evening
4
00:00:08,016 --> 00:00:10,216
at home doing nothing.
5
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,285
Yeah, really breaks up
the other 30 days
6
00:00:12,287 --> 00:00:14,353
I've spent on bed rest
doing nothing.
7
00:00:14,355 --> 00:00:17,957
Well, tonight we're gonna
make you forget all that.
8
00:00:17,959 --> 00:00:19,792
You're gonna make me forget
I've been stuck in bed
9
00:00:19,794 --> 00:00:21,992
while a baby uses my bladder
as a kickball?
10
00:00:23,717 --> 00:00:25,999
Hey, you had unprotected sex
with Howard.
11
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,401
You deserve to be miserable.
12
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:32,004
Hey, I need some
fashion advice.
13
00:00:32,006 --> 00:00:34,073
Really? From me?
I would love to...
14
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,975
Actually, Leonard told me
Penny was over here?
15
00:00:35,977 --> 00:00:38,444
Hey, what's going on?
You got a date?
16
00:00:38,446 --> 00:00:40,513
I, uh, do have a date...
with science.
17
00:00:40,515 --> 00:00:43,516
Oh, what's science wearing?
18
00:00:43,518 --> 00:00:47,220
The Griffith Observatory is
looking for an astrophysicist
19
00:00:47,222 --> 00:00:49,856
to consult, and I have
an interview tomorrow.
20
00:00:49,858 --> 00:00:51,624
Oh, I love the observatory.
21
00:00:51,626 --> 00:00:54,093
They tell you your weight
on all the different planets.
22
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:57,363
Yeah. It's always
bikini season on Venus.
23
00:00:57,365 --> 00:00:59,398
I think you'd be
great at that.
24
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,666
Don't you agree, Bernadette?
25
00:01:00,668 --> 00:01:03,169
Huh? I'm listening.
I'm listening.
26
00:01:03,171 --> 00:01:05,404
I'm not watching The Crown.
27
00:01:05,406 --> 00:01:07,573
I just want to make a
good first impression,
28
00:01:07,575 --> 00:01:10,309
and thought maybe you could
help me pick out an outfit?
29
00:01:10,311 --> 00:01:11,944
Of course.
Let's see what you got.
30
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,646
Yeah, you just need
to pick something
31
00:01:13,648 --> 00:01:15,148
that-that you feel
confident in.
32
00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,350
I'm sorry.
I left my magic clothes at home.
33
00:01:17,352 --> 00:01:19,852
I'm sure
these two options will be f...
34
00:01:22,257 --> 00:01:25,491
So you-you have
other clothes at home?
35
00:01:25,493 --> 00:01:26,592
Uh, it doesn't matter.
36
00:01:26,594 --> 00:01:28,294
They're talking
to a bunch of people.
37
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,512
I probably won't get it anyway.
38
00:01:29,514 --> 00:01:30,320
Well, don't say that.
39
00:01:30,344 --> 00:01:32,466
Yeah, you have to
believe in yourself.
40
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,300
You know,
before I came to America,
41
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,701
I was filled with confidence.
42
00:01:35,703 --> 00:01:37,370
What happened to me?
43
00:01:37,372 --> 00:01:39,438
Hey, is that Raj there
at girls' night?
44
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:40,873
Well, hey.
Hey, Howard.
45
00:01:40,875 --> 00:01:42,909
Just remember,
if you fall asleep first,
46
00:01:42,911 --> 00:01:45,778
they're gonna
freeze your bra.
47
00:01:46,848 --> 00:01:50,149
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
48
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,486
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
49
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,087
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
50
00:01:55,089 --> 00:01:57,623
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
51
00:01:57,625 --> 00:02:00,326
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
52
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:03,062
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
53
00:02:03,064 --> 00:02:04,897
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
54
00:02:04,899 --> 00:02:05,300
♪ Bang! ♪
55
00:02:05,301 --> 00:02:09,301
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x10 ♪
The Confidence Erosion
Original Air Date on December 7, 2017
56
00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:11,302
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
57
00:02:11,351 --> 00:02:13,618
You and Amy having fun
planning your wedding?
58
00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:16,688
We're employing a
mathematical approach
59
00:02:16,690 --> 00:02:21,526
called decision theory,
so, heck, yeah.
60
00:02:21,528 --> 00:02:23,428
Heck, yeah?
61
00:02:23,430 --> 00:02:27,832
Looks like someone need to put a
dollar in the almost-swear jar.
62
00:02:27,834 --> 00:02:29,968
We've assigned all wedding
decisions randomly,
63
00:02:29,970 --> 00:02:32,070
and each of us
makes half of them.
64
00:02:32,072 --> 00:02:34,172
You know, from
venue to officiant
65
00:02:34,174 --> 00:02:39,377
to numbering system for the
tables: Roman or Dewey Decimal.
66
00:02:39,379 --> 00:02:41,212
Why not hexadecimal?
67
00:02:43,617 --> 00:02:46,417
'Cause this is our
wedding, not a joke.
68
00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:49,254
- Hey, guys.
-Hello. - Hey.
69
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,722
Oh, good.
Raj is here
70
00:02:50,724 --> 00:02:53,224
to tell us
today's specials.
71
00:02:53,226 --> 00:02:56,394
Very funny. I have my interview
this afternoon.
72
00:02:56,396 --> 00:02:57,695
Oh. If it doesn't work out,
73
00:02:57,697 --> 00:02:59,430
you're ready to go
on your Mormon mission.
74
00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:02,901
I-I don't understand
what's going on here.
75
00:03:02,903 --> 00:03:04,435
Oh, what's going on here is
76
00:03:04,437 --> 00:03:06,304
I'm up for a job
at the planetarium,
77
00:03:06,306 --> 00:03:08,039
and Howard is
making fun of me.
78
00:03:08,041 --> 00:03:11,743
Oh, that's great. You're
both doing what you love.
79
00:03:11,745 --> 00:03:13,545
Well, I'm excited for you.
80
00:03:13,547 --> 00:03:15,680
Oh, thanks, yeah.
I'd be in charge of developing
81
00:03:15,682 --> 00:03:17,749
and narrating all
the planetarium shows.
82
00:03:17,751 --> 00:03:18,917
And I really want this,
83
00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,552
so it wouldn't kill you
to be more supportive.
84
00:03:20,554 --> 00:03:24,188
But if it did, you could bury me
at the funeral home you direct.
85
00:03:24,190 --> 00:03:28,660
Wait. The premise is that
he is dressed differently?
86
00:03:28,662 --> 00:03:30,428
Yeah.
87
00:03:30,430 --> 00:03:33,431
That's true.
He is not dressed the same.
88
00:03:38,171 --> 00:03:39,737
Hey, Dad.
89
00:03:39,739 --> 00:03:41,072
Hello, Rajesh.
90
00:03:41,074 --> 00:03:42,206
How was the interview?
91
00:03:42,208 --> 00:03:43,374
Uh, not so great.
92
00:03:43,376 --> 00:03:45,376
They asked me
what my biggest weakness was,
93
00:03:45,378 --> 00:03:48,680
and 45 minutes later,
they thanked me for coming.
94
00:03:48,682 --> 00:03:53,284
Son, don't take this the wrong
way, but what's your problem?
95
00:03:53,286 --> 00:03:56,955
I would tell you, but apparently
it takes 45 minutes.
96
00:03:56,957 --> 00:03:58,523
You know what?
97
00:03:58,525 --> 00:04:01,125
I bet it's those friends
you surround yourself with.
98
00:04:01,127 --> 00:04:03,962
Like that Howard,
always making fun of you.
99
00:04:03,964 --> 00:04:06,397
Howard doesn't mean anything
by it.
100
00:04:06,399 --> 00:04:07,732
I-I think it's cultural.
101
00:04:07,734 --> 00:04:09,701
His people come
from a very sarcastic village
102
00:04:09,703 --> 00:04:11,970
called Brooklyn.
103
00:04:11,972 --> 00:04:14,472
Don't make excuses.
104
00:04:14,474 --> 00:04:16,674
What kind of friend
acts that way?
105
00:04:16,676 --> 00:04:18,009
Well, I-I guess...
106
00:04:18,011 --> 00:04:19,577
It was a rhetorical question.
107
00:04:19,579 --> 00:04:21,879
A bad friend!
108
00:04:21,881 --> 00:04:23,881
Come on, Dad! That's just
our relationship, okay?
109
00:04:23,883 --> 00:04:25,883
He makes Indian jokes,
and I laugh,
110
00:04:25,885 --> 00:04:29,787
but, you know, with angry eyes
so he knows it's not okay.
111
00:04:29,789 --> 00:04:32,390
I, too, was in a relationship
112
00:04:32,392 --> 00:04:35,627
with someone who made me
feel bad about myself.
113
00:04:35,629 --> 00:04:38,262
If you're talking about Mom,
I don't want to hear it.
114
00:04:38,264 --> 00:04:40,465
I'm just saying,
if you replace Howard
115
00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:43,334
with a nice 22-year-old
grad student,
116
00:04:43,336 --> 00:04:46,871
your self-confidence will soar.
117
00:04:49,209 --> 00:04:51,609
All right, Amy,
you're up.
118
00:04:51,611 --> 00:04:54,379
Next decision.
119
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,513
Come on, first dance!
120
00:04:55,515 --> 00:04:57,248
Come on, first dance!
121
00:04:59,719 --> 00:05:01,085
Invitations!
Oh!
122
00:05:01,087 --> 00:05:02,253
That's a good one.
123
00:05:02,255 --> 00:05:03,588
Just a suggestion--
124
00:05:03,590 --> 00:05:07,525
hologram projected out of R2-D2.
125
00:05:07,527 --> 00:05:10,595
Thanks for your input,
but this is my decision,
126
00:05:10,597 --> 00:05:12,697
and I'm gonna go with...
127
00:05:12,699 --> 00:05:15,933
Old English calligraphy
on Egyptian papyrus.
128
00:05:15,935 --> 00:05:18,302
Oh, what a fun mashup.
129
00:05:18,304 --> 00:05:21,005
It's like the chicken
and waffles of orthography.
130
00:05:22,142 --> 00:05:23,608
Your turn.
131
00:05:28,548 --> 00:05:29,847
Ring bearer!
Oh.
132
00:05:29,849 --> 00:05:33,217
Boy, I'm so glad that
R2-D2 is still available.
133
00:05:33,219 --> 00:05:36,054
You know,
this is really fun.
134
00:05:36,056 --> 00:05:38,156
I can't believe that people say
that planning a wedding is one
135
00:05:38,158 --> 00:05:39,557
of the most stressful things
in life.
136
00:05:39,559 --> 00:05:42,460
I know. Not a day goes by
that I don't marvel
137
00:05:42,462 --> 00:05:44,662
how much better we are
than other people.
138
00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:49,300
I'm so sorry the
interview didn't go well.
139
00:05:49,302 --> 00:05:50,935
Yeah, you would've
been perfect for it.
140
00:05:50,937 --> 00:05:52,737
Oh, I just
get so nervous,
141
00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:54,906
and then I start apologizing
for being nervous, and...
142
00:05:54,908 --> 00:05:57,575
You guys don't want
to hear about this. I'm sorry.
143
00:05:57,577 --> 00:05:58,710
Stop apologizing!
144
00:05:58,712 --> 00:05:59,911
Oh, my God!
145
00:05:59,913 --> 00:06:01,612
You sound just like
the woman at the interview!
146
00:06:01,614 --> 00:06:04,248
Have you ever thought
about talking
147
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:06,684
to some kind of therapist
about all this?
148
00:06:06,686 --> 00:06:07,985
Ugh. Maybe.
149
00:06:07,987 --> 00:06:10,588
Hey, Leonard, do you think
your mom would be available?
150
00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:14,492
Yeah, you don't want to do that.
151
00:06:15,328 --> 00:06:16,828
Talking to my mom
152
00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:19,363
to get more confidence
is like talking to a lion
153
00:06:19,365 --> 00:06:21,399
to get more alive.
154
00:06:21,401 --> 00:06:23,634
Well, my dad thinks
155
00:06:23,636 --> 00:06:25,970
it's because Howard's always
making fun of me.
156
00:06:25,972 --> 00:06:27,572
Well, that makes sense.
157
00:06:27,574 --> 00:06:29,640
Well, what do you mean,
that makes sense?
158
00:06:29,642 --> 00:06:31,909
Well, Howard does make fun
of him a lot.
159
00:06:31,911 --> 00:06:33,845
Well, that's not
all Howard's fault.
160
00:06:33,847 --> 00:06:36,547
I mean, if Raj doesn't want
to be made fun of, then I...
161
00:06:36,549 --> 00:06:40,551
Hmm. I don't know a nice way
to finish this sentence.
162
00:06:40,553 --> 00:06:42,420
Well, so you're on his side?
163
00:06:42,422 --> 00:06:43,755
I'm just saying,
164
00:06:43,757 --> 00:06:46,124
that's what friends do. You
know, they bust on each other.
165
00:06:46,126 --> 00:06:47,458
It doesn't
mean anything.
166
00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:49,160
Well, I'm not surprised
you think so.
167
00:06:49,162 --> 00:06:50,428
Why is that?
168
00:06:50,430 --> 00:06:52,330
Well, you can be
kind of mean to me.
169
00:06:52,332 --> 00:06:55,233
Well, that's
because you're...
170
00:06:55,235 --> 00:07:00,104
Wow. I don't know how
to finish that sentence, either.
171
00:07:00,106 --> 00:07:03,574
You know what? I think we're
both done being disrespected.
172
00:07:04,611 --> 00:07:08,179
I got a few rounds left in me.
173
00:07:08,181 --> 00:07:11,182
Attaboy, champ.
174
00:07:12,418 --> 00:07:16,220
Okay, let's see what
we've got so far.
175
00:07:16,222 --> 00:07:19,190
I arrive in a Little House
on the Prairie style
176
00:07:19,192 --> 00:07:21,926
horse-drawn buggy.
177
00:07:21,928 --> 00:07:26,731
Where you are met with
an honor guard of stormtroopers.
178
00:07:26,733 --> 00:07:29,901
Do you think
that might be jarring,
179
00:07:29,903 --> 00:07:32,837
going from wholesome pioneers
to space Nazis?
180
00:07:32,839 --> 00:07:36,307
I see what you're saying.
181
00:07:36,309 --> 00:07:38,309
You're thinking
that you should arrive
182
00:07:38,311 --> 00:07:42,446
in a replica
of Luke Skywalker's landspeeder.
183
00:07:42,448 --> 00:07:45,383
It's not what I'm thinking,
184
00:07:45,385 --> 00:07:47,185
and to save you
185
00:07:47,187 --> 00:07:49,053
the trouble for the future,
186
00:07:49,055 --> 00:07:51,189
it will never be
what I'm thinking.
187
00:07:51,191 --> 00:07:55,059
Well... if the ushers are
so important to you,
188
00:07:55,061 --> 00:07:56,561
what if I
propose a trade?
189
00:07:56,563 --> 00:08:01,465
You may pick that, and I will
decide, say, first dance.
190
00:08:01,467 --> 00:08:05,770
Great. Then the ushers
will be... my cousins
191
00:08:05,772 --> 00:08:08,773
dressed in frontier frock coats.
Oh.
192
00:08:08,775 --> 00:08:13,544
And the first dance will be
that we won't have one.
193
00:08:13,546 --> 00:08:16,214
All right. Then our...
194
00:08:16,216 --> 00:08:19,183
second dance will be
the first dance.
195
00:08:19,185 --> 00:08:22,486
Unless we have
no dance at all.
196
00:08:22,488 --> 00:08:24,689
Ha-ha.
197
00:08:25,792 --> 00:08:27,825
Well, if we're changing things,
198
00:08:27,827 --> 00:08:31,829
then instead
of throwing confetti,
199
00:08:31,831 --> 00:08:33,331
we'll release butterflies.
200
00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:36,701
Airborne worms?! Have
you lost your mind?!
201
00:08:36,703 --> 00:08:38,603
Well, if you're
going to do that,
202
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,137
then I am changing the officiant
203
00:08:40,139 --> 00:08:41,873
to that husky Spider-Man
204
00:08:41,875 --> 00:08:44,842
that hangs out
at the Chinese Theater.
205
00:08:44,844 --> 00:08:49,413
Fine. Wedding
toasts in Latin.
206
00:08:49,415 --> 00:08:53,918
Great. Vows in Klingon.
207
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,088
Then I'm changing the
flower girl to a dog.
208
00:08:58,258 --> 00:09:00,658
And guess what he'll be
scattering instead of petals!
209
00:09:04,664 --> 00:09:07,098
Want to grab
some lunch?
210
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,267
You know what?
I don't think so.
211
00:09:09,269 --> 00:09:11,569
Well, let me guess.
You're not eating
212
00:09:11,571 --> 00:09:15,673
because the mean girls circled
your chubby bits in marker?
213
00:09:15,675 --> 00:09:18,843
No. That. That right there.
That's the reason.
214
00:09:18,845 --> 00:09:20,177
You're always
making fun of me.
215
00:09:20,179 --> 00:09:22,113
Oh, those are just jokes.
216
00:09:22,115 --> 00:09:23,614
It's my way
217
00:09:23,616 --> 00:09:25,383
of saying that
we're friends,
218
00:09:25,385 --> 00:09:27,919
and it wouldn't hurt
you to drop a few!
219
00:09:29,422 --> 00:09:32,790
See? No wonder
I don't have any confidence.
220
00:09:32,792 --> 00:09:35,259
Come on. You can't
blame that on me.
221
00:09:35,261 --> 00:09:39,563
Why not? 15 years
of constant ridicule. I-I think
222
00:09:39,565 --> 00:09:41,565
our relationship
has become toxic.
223
00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:43,567
Uh, what are you saying?
224
00:09:43,569 --> 00:09:47,738
I think you and I need to spend
some time away from each other.
225
00:09:49,943 --> 00:09:53,377
Look, I... I can see
you're upset, but...
226
00:09:53,379 --> 00:09:57,081
I'm gonna need some
ground rules. I mean,
227
00:09:57,083 --> 00:10:00,685
while we're apart, can I see
other needy Indian men?
228
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:02,853
Get out!
229
00:10:06,751 --> 00:10:08,584
What do you
think will make
230
00:10:08,586 --> 00:10:10,519
the wedding worse for Amy:
231
00:10:10,521 --> 00:10:14,223
a cake made with salt
instead of sugar...
232
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,995
...or a cake iced
with congealed gravy?
233
00:10:20,865 --> 00:10:23,198
That is a trick question.
234
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:26,535
The answer is:
you as the groom.
235
00:10:28,706 --> 00:10:30,672
Neither of them
will be the actual cake.
236
00:10:30,674 --> 00:10:32,674
I'm just using it
as a bargaining chip
237
00:10:32,676 --> 00:10:36,345
to get Amy to agree to the whole
wedding party getting rings
238
00:10:36,347 --> 00:10:40,415
and us getting one ring
to rule them all.
239
00:10:41,585 --> 00:10:46,889
I forget, which mental hospital
are you guys registered at?
240
00:10:46,891 --> 00:10:47,823
Hello.
241
00:10:47,825 --> 00:10:49,158
- Hello. - Hello.
- Hello.
242
00:10:51,996 --> 00:10:53,262
Really?
243
00:10:53,264 --> 00:10:54,596
You're not
gonna sit here?
244
00:10:54,598 --> 00:10:57,733
I'll sit there as
soon as you leave.
245
00:10:57,735 --> 00:10:59,434
You're still
on this?
246
00:10:59,436 --> 00:11:01,069
I said sorry.
247
00:11:01,071 --> 00:11:04,373
Well, "sorry" doesn't make up
for years of emotional abuse.
248
00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:06,875
Well, what's it gonna take?
249
00:11:06,877 --> 00:11:10,078
You want half my sandwich?
250
00:11:12,116 --> 00:11:13,682
What is going on?
251
00:11:13,684 --> 00:11:17,419
Raj is trying to blame me
for his pathetic life.
252
00:11:17,421 --> 00:11:18,954
His life isn't pathetic.
253
00:11:18,956 --> 00:11:21,824
He's got that whole table
to himself.
254
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,228
One of us should go sit with Raj
so he's not alone.
255
00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:28,864
But I'm not done telling you
about my wedding revenge plans.
256
00:11:28,866 --> 00:11:30,299
You're right. Go on.
257
00:11:30,301 --> 00:11:31,533
Okay, well, first,
I'm going to try
258
00:11:31,535 --> 00:11:34,703
to get Amy to trade with me
for hors d'oeuvres...
259
00:11:36,841 --> 00:11:39,441
Oh, good,
you're here.
260
00:11:39,443 --> 00:11:41,977
I've decided
on our centerpieces.
261
00:11:41,979 --> 00:11:45,781
I just hope your family
isn't allergic to asbestos.
262
00:11:45,783 --> 00:11:47,749
Sheldon, please stop.
263
00:11:47,751 --> 00:11:50,118
If we keep doing this, we're
gonna end up with a wedding
264
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,588
that neither one of us
will enjoy.
265
00:11:52,590 --> 00:11:55,324
Are you saying
you don't want to get married?
266
00:11:55,326 --> 00:11:57,326
No, of course I do.
267
00:11:57,328 --> 00:12:00,796
But that seems to be
the one thing we can agree on.
268
00:12:00,798 --> 00:12:04,132
Maybe we should
just get married at City Hall
269
00:12:04,134 --> 00:12:06,435
and forget
about everything else.
270
00:12:06,437 --> 00:12:10,005
City Hall, hmm.
271
00:12:10,007 --> 00:12:13,308
I do like metal detectors
272
00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:17,246
and the sound of
permits being denied.
273
00:12:17,248 --> 00:12:18,647
Right.
274
00:12:18,649 --> 00:12:20,749
And if we're not enjoying
planning this wedding,
275
00:12:20,751 --> 00:12:22,184
then what's the point?
276
00:12:22,186 --> 00:12:24,219
Well, historically,
a wedding was to let
277
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,588
other potential suitors know
that we're unavailable.
278
00:12:26,590 --> 00:12:28,957
But I think matching
T-shirts that say
279
00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:31,793
"Hands off the merchandise"
accomplish the same thing.
280
00:12:32,663 --> 00:12:36,899
So let's pick a day
and just go do it.
281
00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:41,536
How 'bout tomorrow?
282
00:12:41,538 --> 00:12:43,538
R-Really?
283
00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:45,007
That soon?
284
00:12:45,009 --> 00:12:46,508
Why wait?
285
00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:48,577
I mean, it's not that I think
we're living in sin,
286
00:12:48,579 --> 00:12:51,313
but I do like the idea
that our next act of intimacy
287
00:12:51,315 --> 00:12:54,049
will be a legal requirement.
288
00:12:55,019 --> 00:12:58,587
Tomorrow we'll go downtown
and get married.
289
00:12:58,589 --> 00:13:02,024
Or we could go to
Beverly Hills City Hall
290
00:13:02,026 --> 00:13:04,893
if you want
a destination wedding.
291
00:13:08,365 --> 00:13:11,066
Hey. You look
good today.
292
00:13:11,068 --> 00:13:13,201
What happened? What's wrong?
293
00:13:13,971 --> 00:13:15,671
Just tell me. I can take it.
294
00:13:15,673 --> 00:13:18,907
Nothing. I felt bad
about being mean to you,
295
00:13:18,909 --> 00:13:20,409
so I'm being nice.
296
00:13:20,411 --> 00:13:21,443
Oh, okay.
297
00:13:21,445 --> 00:13:22,644
Sorry. I wasn't ready for it.
298
00:13:22,646 --> 00:13:23,912
Try again.
299
00:13:23,914 --> 00:13:24,980
You look handsome.
300
00:13:24,982 --> 00:13:27,349
Nope, still freaking me out.
301
00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:30,085
- Hello, friends!
- Hey.
302
00:13:30,087 --> 00:13:31,653
Hey, what's going on
with your hair?
303
00:13:31,655 --> 00:13:34,356
Uh, nothing. I just decided
to stop straightening it.
304
00:13:34,358 --> 00:13:38,360
Wait, so you were making your
hair look like that on purpose?
305
00:13:38,362 --> 00:13:42,164
When I first moved to America,
I wanted to fit in.
306
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:43,332
And Howard's hair was straight,
307
00:13:43,334 --> 00:13:45,033
and he was the coolest person
I knew.
308
00:13:45,035 --> 00:13:47,803
Then you never saw
any other people?
309
00:13:47,805 --> 00:13:50,238
You know what, I-I don't want
to talk about Howard.
310
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,574
I came here to celebrate!
311
00:13:52,576 --> 00:13:55,577
Yeah. I went back
to the planetarium and told them
312
00:13:55,579 --> 00:13:57,980
they were making a huge mistake,
that I'd be perfect for the job.
313
00:13:57,982 --> 00:14:00,215
I was... I was charming,
I was confident.
314
00:14:00,217 --> 00:14:01,650
And they gave it to me.
315
00:14:01,652 --> 00:14:02,651
Wow.
316
00:14:02,653 --> 00:14:03,618
That's amazing!
Yeah, plus,
317
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:04,619
it turns out the guy they hired
318
00:14:04,621 --> 00:14:07,022
got busted
at a sketchy massage parlor.
319
00:14:08,392 --> 00:14:10,359
Oh, so happy ending for you!
320
00:14:10,361 --> 00:14:12,361
Oh, and for him.
321
00:14:13,197 --> 00:14:15,697
Yeah, I was on my way
to tell Howard,
322
00:14:15,699 --> 00:14:17,065
and then I remembered
I wasn't speaking to him,
323
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,533
so I came over here.
324
00:14:18,535 --> 00:14:20,180
Mm, don't you think it's time
you two made up?
325
00:14:20,204 --> 00:14:21,604
No.
326
00:14:21,605 --> 00:14:24,106
No, actually.
I don't need his negative energy
327
00:14:24,108 --> 00:14:25,240
in my life right now.
328
00:14:25,242 --> 00:14:27,042
Standing up to him
was-was hard,
329
00:14:27,044 --> 00:14:30,312
but it made me realize
that I can do anything.
330
00:14:30,314 --> 00:14:33,482
And, yeah, it's a little sad,
but, you know,
331
00:14:33,484 --> 00:14:35,617
life is all about...
332
00:14:36,787 --> 00:14:37,886
Uh, sorry.
333
00:14:37,888 --> 00:14:40,555
I thought
you were wrapping things up.
334
00:14:44,294 --> 00:14:46,128
Hey, Howard.
Hey.
335
00:14:46,130 --> 00:14:47,262
Where is everybody?
336
00:14:47,264 --> 00:14:48,964
I could ask you
the same question.
337
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:54,036
Wow, this conversation
got mean fast.
338
00:14:54,038 --> 00:14:57,339
Sorry. I'm just
in a bad mood.
339
00:14:57,341 --> 00:14:59,107
Yeah? What's going on?
340
00:14:59,109 --> 00:15:01,276
I had a falling out with Raj.
341
00:15:01,278 --> 00:15:03,078
He said I make fun
of him too much
342
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,180
and it's wrecked his confidence.
343
00:15:05,182 --> 00:15:07,783
Please, confidence is
like red blood cells--
344
00:15:07,785 --> 00:15:11,153
it's nice if you got some,
but you don't need 'em.
345
00:15:11,155 --> 00:15:14,089
Yeah. I mean,
your life's a mess.
346
00:15:14,091 --> 00:15:16,958
I don't see you blaming
other people for it.
347
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:20,629
That's right. I grew up in a
loving, supportive household.
348
00:15:21,432 --> 00:15:24,499
This is all on me.
349
00:15:25,436 --> 00:15:28,603
Maybe I'll just hang out here
for a while.
350
00:15:28,605 --> 00:15:31,073
Great. And you can make
fun of me all you want.
351
00:15:31,075 --> 00:15:32,441
No, that's okay.
352
00:15:32,443 --> 00:15:33,975
No, no, no. Go on.
I can take it.
353
00:15:33,977 --> 00:15:36,378
My feelings,
like my extremities,
354
00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:39,114
are basically numb.
355
00:15:41,752 --> 00:15:42,984
Here's your license.
356
00:15:42,986 --> 00:15:44,686
Now, if you wait
over there,
357
00:15:44,688 --> 00:15:46,354
we'll call you
when the officiant's ready.
358
00:15:46,356 --> 00:15:47,689
Do we need a blood test?
359
00:15:47,691 --> 00:15:49,324
No.
360
00:15:49,326 --> 00:15:51,766
Well, then, how will you know
whether or not we have syphilis?
361
00:15:54,364 --> 00:15:58,366
I'm gonna go out on a limb
and say you don't have that.
362
00:16:00,704 --> 00:16:03,371
Okay, Sheldon, you officially
exceeded the number of times
363
00:16:03,373 --> 00:16:06,374
I hoped to hear the word
"syphilis" on my wedding day.
364
00:16:08,145 --> 00:16:09,744
I can't believe
we're doing this.
365
00:16:09,746 --> 00:16:12,247
I know. I'm
getting married.
366
00:16:12,249 --> 00:16:14,816
The new Star Wars
movie's coming out.
367
00:16:14,818 --> 00:16:17,552
We are really finishing
this year strong.
368
00:16:18,388 --> 00:16:21,323
Okay, but
of the two of tho...
369
00:16:21,325 --> 00:16:23,825
You know, I'm not even gonna
ask. I'm not gonna ask.
370
00:16:27,331 --> 00:16:30,565
Are you sad we're not
having a big party?
371
00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,869
I'm really not.
372
00:16:35,005 --> 00:16:37,606
I'm here with you.
It's perfect.
373
00:16:40,878 --> 00:16:42,577
Cooper-Fowler?
374
00:16:42,579 --> 00:16:43,912
You're up.
375
00:16:45,716 --> 00:16:47,449
Can you believe it?
376
00:16:47,451 --> 00:16:51,419
We're about to walk in that
door, Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler,
377
00:16:51,421 --> 00:16:53,788
and walk out
as a married couple,
378
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:56,525
Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler.
379
00:16:59,596 --> 00:17:01,763
Wait.
380
00:17:02,566 --> 00:17:04,799
I want to have
a first dance with you.
381
00:17:04,801 --> 00:17:07,269
Right here?
382
00:17:07,271 --> 00:17:08,436
At our wedding.
383
00:17:08,438 --> 00:17:10,839
Th-This is
our wedding.
384
00:17:10,841 --> 00:17:13,008
No.
385
00:17:13,810 --> 00:17:15,710
I want a real wedding.
386
00:17:15,712 --> 00:17:17,712
Well...
387
00:17:17,714 --> 00:17:20,348
Sheldon, it was just
making us fight.
388
00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:22,817
I know. But, Amy,
389
00:17:22,819 --> 00:17:25,253
I never thought
I'd want to marry anyone.
390
00:17:25,255 --> 00:17:29,524
So the fact that I found you
is astonishing.
391
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:33,161
It's-it's like finding
dark matter,
392
00:17:33,163 --> 00:17:34,563
except they're looking
for dark matter.
393
00:17:34,565 --> 00:17:36,331
I wasn't even looking for you.
394
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,135
S-So you're even better
than dark matter.
395
00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:42,137
Sheldon.
396
00:17:42,139 --> 00:17:46,675
Plus, plus, you interact
with light, so I can see you.
397
00:17:46,677 --> 00:17:49,311
And, also, you don't account
for the missing mass
398
00:17:49,313 --> 00:17:51,947
in the universe. Oh, and...
Okay, I think
399
00:17:51,949 --> 00:17:54,583
you're getting caught up on the
ways I'm not like dark matter.
400
00:17:54,585 --> 00:17:56,251
Right. Sorry.
401
00:17:56,253 --> 00:17:59,955
But when you make
a discovery like this,
402
00:17:59,957 --> 00:18:02,457
you don't just take it down
to City Hall--
403
00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:04,426
you tell the whole world.
404
00:18:04,428 --> 00:18:07,262
And so I'll say it
in Latin or Klingon
405
00:18:07,264 --> 00:18:08,630
or-or smoke signals,
406
00:18:08,632 --> 00:18:11,166
if-if that's not
cultural appropriation.
407
00:18:11,168 --> 00:18:12,033
It is.
408
00:18:12,035 --> 00:18:13,368
Okay, so not smoke signals.
409
00:18:14,871 --> 00:18:17,872
But I want
to do this right.
410
00:18:20,143 --> 00:18:21,476
Me, too.
411
00:18:22,713 --> 00:18:24,879
Let's go plan a wedding.
412
00:18:32,856 --> 00:18:35,090
You know, we did get dressed up
413
00:18:35,092 --> 00:18:37,759
and come all the way
to City Hall.
414
00:18:37,761 --> 00:18:39,561
What are you thinking?
415
00:18:39,563 --> 00:18:43,765
I have always wanted a permit
to dispose of hazardous waste.
416
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,369
Let's do it.
417
00:18:51,771 --> 00:18:55,740
Do we know if there's life in
the methane plumes of Enceladus
418
00:18:55,742 --> 00:18:58,709
or under the icy surface
of Europa?
419
00:18:58,711 --> 00:19:03,014
Come back on Tuesday
for my next show to find out.
420
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:06,083
Spoiler alert: we don't.
421
00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,587
I'm Dr. Rajesh
Koothrappali,
422
00:19:09,589 --> 00:19:11,789
and thank you for
taking a walk with me
423
00:19:11,791 --> 00:19:14,091
through the stars.
424
00:19:16,262 --> 00:19:18,663
Wow. I never knew science
could be so interesting.
425
00:19:18,665 --> 00:19:21,132
Hey, I talk to you
about science all the time.
426
00:19:21,134 --> 00:19:23,100
Oh, you sure do, sweetie.
427
00:19:24,504 --> 00:19:26,704
Should we go
congratulate him?
428
00:19:26,706 --> 00:19:29,907
I'll do better than that-- I'll
give him constructive criticism.
429
00:19:29,909 --> 00:19:34,178
Here's some constructive
criticism: don't.
430
00:19:36,649 --> 00:19:38,949
- I'll catch up with you guys.
- Okay.
431
00:19:40,553 --> 00:19:41,695
Raj, you were terrific!
432
00:19:41,719 --> 00:19:42,788
Oh, thank you.
I was so nervous,
433
00:19:42,789 --> 00:19:44,388
my armpits are like a swamp.
434
00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:47,124
Oh, your hug just got
downgraded to a high five.
435
00:19:47,927 --> 00:19:50,261
Your palms are sweaty, too.
436
00:19:50,263 --> 00:19:53,030
Hey. What are you doing
all the way in the back?
437
00:19:53,032 --> 00:19:54,532
Hiding out.
438
00:19:54,534 --> 00:19:56,734
I wasn't sure if I was welcome.
439
00:19:56,736 --> 00:19:59,136
This is ridiculous.
You guys are best friends.
440
00:19:59,138 --> 00:20:00,805
Of course he wants you here.
441
00:20:00,807 --> 00:20:04,075
You sure? He seems to be doing
pretty well without me.
442
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,243
Look, he was just stressed out.
443
00:20:06,245 --> 00:20:08,145
His life is not better
without you.
444
00:20:08,147 --> 00:20:09,680
Come on. Come say hi.
445
00:20:10,516 --> 00:20:12,083
Okay.
446
00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:17,521
Dr. Koothrappali, I just wanted
to tell you that was amazing.
447
00:20:17,523 --> 00:20:19,523
Uh, counterpoint...
To the car.
448
00:20:20,893 --> 00:20:22,693
Can I ask you
a question?
449
00:20:22,695 --> 00:20:24,729
Of course you can.
Ooh, that went well.
450
00:20:24,731 --> 00:20:26,664
Ask me another.
451
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,434
I think
I'm just gonna go.
452
00:20:32,371 --> 00:20:34,405
If there is life beneath
the surface of these planets,
453
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:36,207
how would we even detect it?
454
00:20:36,209 --> 00:20:38,642
Uh, that's
a complicated question.
455
00:20:38,644 --> 00:20:40,311
Let me start with a simpler one.
456
00:20:40,313 --> 00:20:42,213
Can I buy you a coffee?
457
00:20:42,215 --> 00:20:45,049
A-Also a complicated question.
458
00:20:45,051 --> 00:20:47,618
Because I want to say yes,
but if I drink coffee this late,
459
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:48,919
then I'll be up all night.
460
00:20:48,921 --> 00:20:51,322
Decaf, genius.
461
00:20:51,324 --> 00:20:52,890
I would love to.
462
00:20:52,892 --> 00:20:59,792
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man