1
00:00:02,992 --> 00:00:05,788
Oh, my God, I can't believe
how big Halley's getting.
2
00:00:05,857 --> 00:00:06,873
Yeah... where's Howard?
3
00:00:06,942 --> 00:00:07,952
He's changing Michael.
4
00:00:08,021 --> 00:00:09,654
A-All done.
You know, fun fact,
5
00:00:09,723 --> 00:00:12,520
did you know baby boys
can pee straight up?
6
00:00:13,928 --> 00:00:15,827
Grown-up boys, too.
7
00:00:17,273 --> 00:00:19,124
Why would we high-five that?
8
00:00:20,013 --> 00:00:21,554
So how are you guys?
9
00:00:21,701 --> 00:00:23,023
Really good.
10
00:00:23,092 --> 00:00:25,079
Except for when we went
grocery shopping,
11
00:00:25,148 --> 00:00:26,929
and the checkout lady asked
when I was due.
12
00:00:27,006 --> 00:00:28,437
But you handled it well.
13
00:00:31,839 --> 00:00:34,249
Well, if you guys need help,
I'd be happy to come over.
14
00:00:34,339 --> 00:00:36,940
Oh, thanks, but we're really
trying to enjoy this family time
15
00:00:37,009 --> 00:00:38,515
before we both go back
to work.
16
00:00:38,584 --> 00:00:40,017
Okay, well,
we all miss you.
17
00:00:40,086 --> 00:00:41,742
- You guys, too.
- Bye.
18
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:43,359
Ah.
19
00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:45,670
Boy, seeing them
all together like that
20
00:00:45,739 --> 00:00:48,867
has got my biological clock
ticking like crazy.
21
00:00:50,397 --> 00:00:51,741
Yeah, I don't think men have...
22
00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:52,906
I do.
23
00:00:55,070 --> 00:00:56,180
- Hi.
- Hello.
24
00:00:56,249 --> 00:00:57,859
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
- Good news,
25
00:00:57,929 --> 00:00:59,563
we have
save the date cards.
26
00:00:59,632 --> 00:01:00,641
- Oh.
- Huh,
27
00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:03,343
didn't go with
my calligrapher. Interesting.
28
00:01:04,866 --> 00:01:06,140
What is this picture?
29
00:01:06,209 --> 00:01:08,573
Oh, it's an MRI
of our brains photoshopped
30
00:01:08,642 --> 00:01:10,218
to look like they're kissing.
31
00:01:11,178 --> 00:01:12,593
Is it too sexy?
32
00:01:12,814 --> 00:01:14,609
It's too something.
33
00:01:16,214 --> 00:01:18,350
Guys, May 12, that's exciting.
34
00:01:18,419 --> 00:01:19,679
I know.
Do you guys have
35
00:01:19,748 --> 00:01:21,429
a location yet? 'Cause you
don't have a lot of time.
36
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:23,327
Hey, it took us nine
months to pick a date,
37
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,407
and a week to decide if
brains can have lips on them,
38
00:01:25,475 --> 00:01:27,336
so get in the boat and row.
39
00:01:28,309 --> 00:01:31,843
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
40
00:01:31,912 --> 00:01:35,594
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
41
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,023
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
42
00:01:37,092 --> 00:01:39,938
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
43
00:01:40,007 --> 00:01:41,882
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
44
00:01:41,951 --> 00:01:44,777
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
45
00:01:44,846 --> 00:01:46,882
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
46
00:01:46,951 --> 00:01:48,907
♪ Bang! ♪
*THE BIG BANG THEORY*
Season 11 Episode 17
47
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,015
Episode Title :
"The Athenaeum Allocation "
48
00:01:56,674 --> 00:01:57,926
Michael's out.
49
00:01:57,995 --> 00:01:59,417
So is Halley.
50
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,526
Oh, my God,
he's so cute.
51
00:02:01,691 --> 00:02:03,309
So is she.
52
00:02:03,614 --> 00:02:04,753
Switch?
53
00:02:04,822 --> 00:02:06,395
Yeah.
54
00:02:09,464 --> 00:02:11,386
Oh, my God, he's so cute.
55
00:02:11,455 --> 00:02:12,888
So is she.
56
00:02:13,476 --> 00:02:15,245
I just love them so much.
57
00:02:15,538 --> 00:02:16,964
Me, too.
58
00:02:17,473 --> 00:02:20,040
My heart feels
like it's gonna explode.
59
00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:22,815
Of course, it's full of brisket,
so it probably will.
60
00:02:24,846 --> 00:02:27,025
Oh, I didn't even
know I was capable
61
00:02:27,157 --> 00:02:29,042
of loving someone so much.
62
00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:31,206
More than me?
63
00:02:31,698 --> 00:02:32,893
Wha... oh, uh...
64
00:02:32,962 --> 00:02:34,017
I'm just messing with you.
65
00:02:34,086 --> 00:02:35,867
I totally love them
more than you.
66
00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:38,173
I get that.
67
00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,909
I would take a bullet
for them.
68
00:02:40,376 --> 00:02:44,352
But I would get seriously
mutilated for you.
69
00:02:44,945 --> 00:02:46,054
That's sweet.
70
00:02:46,161 --> 00:02:48,258
But you should know,
if you got seriously mutilated,
71
00:02:48,327 --> 00:02:49,887
I might dump you.
72
00:02:50,965 --> 00:02:52,008
You'd be crazy not to.
73
00:02:52,077 --> 00:02:54,344
Even unmutilated,
I'm no prize.
74
00:02:57,270 --> 00:02:59,696
You know, I'm really happy
with our wedding date.
75
00:02:59,904 --> 00:03:03,597
The month squared equals the
square of the sum of the members
76
00:03:03,666 --> 00:03:05,512
of the set of prime factors
of the day.
77
00:03:05,581 --> 00:03:07,453
Isn't that romantic?
78
00:03:08,344 --> 00:03:10,231
Yes, it's like
that Shakespeare sonnet,
79
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:11,833
“Shall I compare thee to a day
80
00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:14,442
that's also a really weird
math problem.”
81
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:16,661
It's a shame you're joking.
82
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,268
That'd be a lovely reading
at our ceremony.
83
00:03:19,715 --> 00:03:22,094
Well, we only have
two months to find a venue,
84
00:03:22,163 --> 00:03:23,465
and I had a thought.
85
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,737
What about the Athenaeum club
at Caltech?
86
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:28,393
Albert Einstein
was a member there.
87
00:03:28,462 --> 00:03:29,534
- It's beautiful.
- Yeah,
88
00:03:29,603 --> 00:03:31,877
and Albert Einstein
was a member there.
89
00:03:32,122 --> 00:03:33,158
It's close.
90
00:03:33,227 --> 00:03:35,651
And Albert Einstein
was a member there.
91
00:03:36,073 --> 00:03:38,073
And Albert Einstein
was a member there.
92
00:03:38,142 --> 00:03:39,290
Ah.
93
00:03:39,668 --> 00:03:42,424
Now you sound like a woman
who wants to get married.
94
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,471
So you're interested?
95
00:03:44,568 --> 00:03:45,792
Oh, of course.
96
00:03:45,861 --> 00:03:48,019
Yeah, but that club
is extremely exclusive.
97
00:03:48,088 --> 00:03:49,958
You know, Leonard's been trying
to get us in there for years,
98
00:03:50,026 --> 00:03:51,144
but no luck.
99
00:03:51,213 --> 00:03:52,229
Well, that's odd.
100
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,564
When I called, they said they'd
be excited to give us a tour.
101
00:03:54,632 --> 00:03:56,121
Well, I suppose
we can give it a look,
102
00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:57,997
and if it doesn't work out,
I hear that there is
103
00:03:58,065 --> 00:04:02,260
a nearby Chinese restaurant
that Einstein used to frequent.
104
00:04:03,211 --> 00:04:05,784
Or, we pick a place we like,
105
00:04:05,869 --> 00:04:08,002
and don't worry about Einstein.
106
00:04:08,877 --> 00:04:11,987
Boy, reality TV is right;
brides are crazy.
107
00:04:15,042 --> 00:04:17,581
So, how has it been,
being home with two kids?
108
00:04:17,721 --> 00:04:20,413
Oh, tiring, but super rewarding.
109
00:04:20,487 --> 00:04:22,893
Oh, like Pilates, yeah, got it.
110
00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:27,174
Honestly, it's gonna be hard
when we both go back to work.
111
00:04:27,276 --> 00:04:30,002
I've been... thinking maybe
it would be better
112
00:04:30,362 --> 00:04:32,727
if one of us decided
to stay home.
113
00:04:32,882 --> 00:04:37,026
I don't know, I was raised
by servants, and look at me.
114
00:04:38,409 --> 00:04:39,466
I literally can't tell
115
00:04:39,535 --> 00:04:41,096
if you think that's good or bad.
116
00:04:41,784 --> 00:04:44,167
Well, on one hand, they filled
my tub with scented oils
117
00:04:44,236 --> 00:04:46,182
and brought me honeyed sweets;
on the other hand,
118
00:04:46,251 --> 00:04:48,485
I spent my twenties incapable
of talking to women.
119
00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:52,161
So you know, pros and cons.
120
00:04:54,288 --> 00:04:55,314
Here's my dilemma:
121
00:04:55,383 --> 00:04:57,431
I...
kind of want to stay home.
122
00:04:57,517 --> 00:05:00,554
But Bernadette is a way better
parent than I am.
123
00:05:00,623 --> 00:05:02,239
Wait, does Bernadette want
to stay home?
124
00:05:02,307 --> 00:05:04,682
I don't know. She's really
invested in her career,
125
00:05:04,751 --> 00:05:05,923
and she's doing great.
126
00:05:06,089 --> 00:05:07,689
I think it should be me.
127
00:05:08,571 --> 00:05:10,118
Wow, I admire you, Howard.
128
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,397
I-It would be hard for me
129
00:05:11,464 --> 00:05:14,392
to buck traditional gender roles
like that.
130
00:05:16,095 --> 00:05:19,829
Didn't you see Taylor Swift
twice this month?
131
00:05:21,409 --> 00:05:25,173
Yeah, because she's hot,
not because she sings my truth.
132
00:05:28,618 --> 00:05:31,595
Did Albert Einstein ever sit
in any of these chairs?
133
00:05:31,727 --> 00:05:33,164
I think these are fairly new.
134
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,900
But Stephen Hawking's
eaten here a lot.
135
00:05:34,984 --> 00:05:37,820
Yeah, but he brings
his own chair, you know?
136
00:05:39,845 --> 00:05:41,629
Well, it seems kind of perfect,
137
00:05:41,698 --> 00:05:43,153
and it's close enough
to your office,
138
00:05:43,229 --> 00:05:44,948
so you can use the
bathroom you like.
139
00:05:45,017 --> 00:05:47,517
Mm. I put a sticker
over the auto-flush,
140
00:05:47,586 --> 00:05:49,720
so it doesn't startle me.
141
00:05:51,502 --> 00:05:53,369
Here's my card.
Why don't you two talk it over,
142
00:05:53,438 --> 00:05:56,065
and I will check to see
if our soup spoons
143
00:05:56,134 --> 00:05:59,165
are “deeper than they are wide”"
144
00:06:00,622 --> 00:06:03,423
What?
Too deep is a ladle, not a spoon.
145
00:06:05,048 --> 00:06:06,595
I really like it.
146
00:06:06,787 --> 00:06:08,857
Mm. Oh, I must admit,
I do, as well.
147
00:06:08,926 --> 00:06:12,229
I... look at how somber all
the men in these portraits are.
148
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:14,919
I feel like that sets
a good tone for our wedding.
149
00:06:16,185 --> 00:06:17,378
Is that Leonard?
150
00:06:17,447 --> 00:06:20,958
Oh, no, no, these are all dead,
accomplished scientists.
151
00:06:21,133 --> 00:06:23,997
Leonard will only ever be
one of those things.
152
00:06:25,144 --> 00:06:28,404
I mean, Leonard and Penny
are right there.
153
00:06:29,365 --> 00:06:31,877
But he told me he checked on
our membership just last week,
154
00:06:31,944 --> 00:06:34,497
and we were
still 400th in line.
155
00:06:35,443 --> 00:06:37,183
I'm sure there's
an innocent explanation
156
00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:38,990
that won't ruin my day at all.
157
00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:41,047
Leonard.
158
00:06:41,116 --> 00:06:42,184
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
159
00:06:42,253 --> 00:06:43,318
How did you get in here?
160
00:06:43,451 --> 00:06:45,453
What do you mean?
Leonard's a member.
161
00:06:46,662 --> 00:06:49,029
You told me
it was incredibly exclusive.
162
00:06:49,195 --> 00:06:52,716
Y-Yeah, look, about that,
I lied.
163
00:06:53,553 --> 00:06:55,537
Hey, wait, you told me
it was exclusive, too.
164
00:06:55,606 --> 00:06:57,288
Mm-hmm.
I avoided him
165
00:06:57,357 --> 00:06:59,857
and impressed you,
all with the same lie.
166
00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:02,974
Damn, Hofstadter, didn't
think you had it in you.
167
00:07:03,793 --> 00:07:06,427
Well, I'm not sure I know
how I feel about this place now.
168
00:07:06,612 --> 00:07:07,904
Then don't turn around.
169
00:07:07,988 --> 00:07:09,747
Cooper!
170
00:07:13,849 --> 00:07:15,779
Oh, good, you're here.
171
00:07:15,848 --> 00:07:17,341
There's...
something
172
00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:19,224
I want to talk to you about.
173
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,108
We're not putting a TV
in the bathroom.
174
00:07:21,177 --> 00:07:22,978
That's how you get
hemorrhoids.
175
00:07:24,201 --> 00:07:25,865
No, this is important.
176
00:07:25,966 --> 00:07:29,162
Uh, I was thinking
maybe one of us should
177
00:07:29,237 --> 00:07:31,122
stay home full-time,
with the kids.
178
00:07:31,272 --> 00:07:33,372
Oh great,
so I have to give up my job
179
00:07:33,439 --> 00:07:35,005
and everything I've worked for?
180
00:07:35,709 --> 00:07:38,037
Actually, I was thinking
I should stay home.
181
00:07:38,179 --> 00:07:40,569
Oh, so I have to abandon
my children and go back to work,
182
00:07:40,638 --> 00:07:42,958
while you get to stay home
and bond with them?
183
00:07:44,279 --> 00:07:46,427
You just said
you didn't want to.
184
00:07:46,538 --> 00:07:50,771
No, I don't want to have to, but
if I want to, I should get to.
185
00:07:53,134 --> 00:07:54,388
Do you want to?
186
00:07:55,324 --> 00:07:56,630
Maybe I do.
187
00:07:56,755 --> 00:07:58,465
What if I also want to?
188
00:07:58,532 --> 00:08:00,021
Well, I don't know, we can't
189
00:08:00,090 --> 00:08:01,349
both stay home.
190
00:08:01,488 --> 00:08:03,500
Don't you think
you should go back to work,
191
00:08:03,569 --> 00:08:05,406
because you make more money?
192
00:08:05,473 --> 00:08:07,591
Don't you think
you should make more money?
193
00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:10,686
I think it's pretty sexist
of you to say
194
00:08:10,770 --> 00:08:13,271
a dad can't stay home
with his children.
195
00:08:13,482 --> 00:08:15,896
You know what else is sexist,
the phrase “suck it,”
196
00:08:16,004 --> 00:08:17,939
yet, here we are.
197
00:08:21,099 --> 00:08:23,372
I can't believe
Leonard lied to me.
198
00:08:23,599 --> 00:08:24,990
What are we gonna
find out next,
199
00:08:25,057 --> 00:08:27,802
that he's not really
lactose intolerant, hmm?
200
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,740
He's just friends with
an invisible trumpet player?
201
00:08:33,152 --> 00:08:36,473
I know you're upset, but if
we want to book the Athenaeum,
202
00:08:36,576 --> 00:08:39,052
we really should do it
now, and then, I promise,
203
00:08:39,122 --> 00:08:42,099
we'll have our whole lives
to complain about Leonard.
204
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:46,474
Aw, somebody got a
head start on her vows.
205
00:08:47,682 --> 00:08:48,833
So do we agree?
206
00:08:48,935 --> 00:08:50,216
Do we want to get married
there?
207
00:08:50,292 --> 00:08:51,728
I don't know.
208
00:08:51,850 --> 00:08:53,577
I mean,
Einstein was a member.
209
00:08:53,646 --> 00:08:54,686
I like that.
210
00:08:54,755 --> 00:08:56,546
You know? But...
Leonard's a member,
211
00:08:56,615 --> 00:08:59,216
and that really steams
my clams.
212
00:09:00,038 --> 00:09:01,434
Oh, I love it
when you're folksy.
213
00:09:01,503 --> 00:09:03,076
I'm just gonna call.
214
00:09:03,358 --> 00:09:06,419
On the other hand, shaming
Leonard during our wedding
215
00:09:06,488 --> 00:09:08,264
at the very place he betrayed me
216
00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:11,466
does have
a beautiful symmetry to it.
217
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:15,310
That's nice, it'll be your first
petty act as a married man.
218
00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:19,162
Uh... oh, hi, Kathleen?
219
00:09:19,388 --> 00:09:21,422
Yeah, this is Amy from earlier.
220
00:09:21,614 --> 00:09:24,310
I'd like to go ahead
and reserve May 12.
221
00:09:24,602 --> 00:09:26,466
Although, it is our wedding.
222
00:09:26,535 --> 00:09:29,615
I... maybe it shouldn't be
all about revenge.
223
00:09:31,091 --> 00:09:32,626
Oh, I see.
224
00:09:32,849 --> 00:09:35,287
Okay, th-thanks.
225
00:09:37,646 --> 00:09:39,302
Someone booked our date.
226
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,935
Uh... What?
227
00:09:41,004 --> 00:09:42,200
Who?
228
00:09:42,818 --> 00:09:45,396
Well, well, well.
229
00:09:46,856 --> 00:09:48,966
This is a pickle.
230
00:09:49,810 --> 00:09:51,044
Yes, so,
231
00:09:51,113 --> 00:09:53,607
if you will just move
your birthday party
232
00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,326
to a different location,
everything will be fine.
233
00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:58,380
Ugh, i-it's tricky.
234
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,201
I don't want to move my party,
235
00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:01,693
but I also don't want
to help you...
236
00:10:01,762 --> 00:10:04,083
Oh, wait,
I don't have a problem.
237
00:10:06,216 --> 00:10:07,607
No. I do.
238
00:10:07,676 --> 00:10:09,466
Yeah, you do.
239
00:10:17,332 --> 00:10:18,535
Morning.
240
00:10:18,604 --> 00:10:19,814
Hey, where you been?
241
00:10:19,890 --> 00:10:21,200
Oh, nowhere special.
242
00:10:21,269 --> 00:10:22,779
Just the park,
the farmer's market,
243
00:10:22,848 --> 00:10:24,592
then we hopped on the Gold Line
to Chinatown
244
00:10:24,661 --> 00:10:26,280
because it's important
for the kids
245
00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:28,021
to experience other cultures.
246
00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:29,677
What have you been doing?
247
00:10:30,712 --> 00:10:32,394
It's 8:00 a.m. Sleeping.
248
00:10:32,494 --> 00:10:34,160
Oh. So are the kids.
249
00:10:34,316 --> 00:10:36,004
I guess they take after you.
250
00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:41,183
You're just trying to prove that
you'd do a better job than me.
251
00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:44,410
You're pretty sharp
having just woken up.
252
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:48,723
Howard, we both know
you can't keep up this pace.
253
00:10:48,801 --> 00:10:51,144
By this afternoon you're gonna
be passed out on the couch
254
00:10:51,213 --> 00:10:54,121
and I'm gonna have three
exhausted babies to deal with.
255
00:10:54,299 --> 00:10:56,113
Not true. I got this.
256
00:10:56,191 --> 00:10:59,004
You know, in fact,
why don't you take the day off?
257
00:10:59,119 --> 00:11:01,621
Mm, fine. Maybe I'll have lunch
with Penny.
258
00:11:01,690 --> 00:11:03,057
Take your time.
259
00:11:03,126 --> 00:11:04,269
Get a massage.
260
00:11:04,338 --> 00:11:07,872
You deserve it after all
the sleep you've been getting.
261
00:11:10,762 --> 00:11:12,660
Maybe Barry will
change his mind.
262
00:11:12,926 --> 00:11:14,574
Hmm? Oh, I doubt it.
263
00:11:14,668 --> 00:11:16,245
I said some pretty
unprofessional things
264
00:11:16,312 --> 00:11:17,488
about his work.
265
00:11:17,628 --> 00:11:20,137
I may have even used
the “S” word.
266
00:11:21,424 --> 00:11:23,543
Subpar?
267
00:11:24,644 --> 00:11:27,699
I'm not proud of it, Amy,
but I have a temper.
268
00:11:28,325 --> 00:11:30,661
Well, I suppose we could pick
a different date.
269
00:11:30,728 --> 00:11:32,855
Well, it took you nine months
to choose that one.
270
00:11:32,924 --> 00:11:34,949
I'll pick a different husband
first.
271
00:11:38,359 --> 00:11:41,605
Hey, I-I just, I wanted to
apologize about the Athenaeum.
272
00:11:41,672 --> 00:11:42,898
Why did you lie to me?
273
00:11:42,967 --> 00:11:44,046
I don't know.
274
00:11:44,141 --> 00:11:45,718
It just seemed funny at first
275
00:11:45,787 --> 00:11:48,875
and then the longer it went on,
funnier it got.
276
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,218
So, yeah, I guess that's why.
277
00:11:54,472 --> 00:11:56,218
That's not much of an apology.
278
00:11:56,287 --> 00:11:58,055
Yeah, because he's not
really sorry.
279
00:11:58,242 --> 00:12:00,867
Obviously, he wanted a place
to go where I wouldn't be
280
00:12:00,992 --> 00:12:04,335
and apparently all of outside
wasn't enough for him.
281
00:12:04,962 --> 00:12:06,463
Come on. I-I do feel bad.
282
00:12:06,532 --> 00:12:08,365
Why? Did your best friend
hurt your feelings?
283
00:12:08,434 --> 00:12:09,609
- Come on... Sheldon.
- Look,
284
00:12:09,678 --> 00:12:11,765
I only have time to deal
with one jerk right now
285
00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:13,726
- and that's Barry Kripke.
- What?
286
00:12:13,923 --> 00:12:16,431
He has the Athenaeum booked
for our wedding date
287
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,158
- and he won't give it up.
- Yeah, so if you could just
288
00:12:18,226 --> 00:12:20,007
please leave before I get angry
289
00:12:20,076 --> 00:12:22,744
and say something I will regret
about your face, your height,
290
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:25,710
your personal hygiene or
the fact that your science,
291
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,742
while serviceable,
lacks panache.
292
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:31,017
That's actually
one of the nicest things
293
00:12:31,086 --> 00:12:32,648
you've ever said about my work.
294
00:12:33,590 --> 00:12:35,753
And now I regret it.
Good-bye.
295
00:12:40,371 --> 00:12:41,652
Hey. There you are.
296
00:12:41,758 --> 00:12:43,793
Yeah, I just wanted to stop in
and see my office
297
00:12:43,876 --> 00:12:45,046
before we went to lunch.
298
00:12:45,122 --> 00:12:47,289
Just a few more weeks,
you'll be back full-time, huh?
299
00:12:47,403 --> 00:12:48,739
Yeah.
300
00:12:49,714 --> 00:12:51,958
Uh-oh. That wasn't
a happy “yeah.”
301
00:12:52,027 --> 00:12:54,933
That was a “Hey, Leonard,
do you want to go to the gym?” yeah.
302
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:58,138
I've just been thinking
that maybe I'd rather
303
00:12:58,207 --> 00:13:00,415
stay home with the kids
and be a mom.
304
00:13:00,791 --> 00:13:02,361
Wow. That's big.
305
00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:03,553
I know.
306
00:13:04,230 --> 00:13:05,683
Dr. Rostenkowski.
307
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:07,139
I'm sorry, I didn't
know you were back.
308
00:13:07,207 --> 00:13:08,292
Oh, I'm not.
309
00:13:08,359 --> 00:13:09,801
I just came to meet Penny
for lunch.
310
00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:12,160
Is there anything I can get you?
Coffee? Water?
311
00:13:12,227 --> 00:13:14,519
- No, I think we're just gonna...
- Coffee sounds good.
312
00:13:15,113 --> 00:13:17,136
- Cold brew, almond milk?
- Perfect.
313
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:20,019
Nothing-nothing for me.
314
00:13:20,886 --> 00:13:21,942
It's weird.
315
00:13:22,011 --> 00:13:24,159
I've been away so long
I don't miss any of this.
316
00:13:25,949 --> 00:13:27,277
Sorry to bother you.
317
00:13:27,344 --> 00:13:29,534
Dr. Lee heard you were here
and had a quick question.
318
00:13:29,603 --> 00:13:31,144
Fine. Put him on.
319
00:13:32,659 --> 00:13:33,884
Jerold, what's going on?
320
00:13:33,951 --> 00:13:36,050
Hope you're not screwing up
my research.
321
00:13:37,347 --> 00:13:38,473
You calling from a bike ride?
322
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,378
'Cause you're backpedaling hard.
323
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:43,175
All right, fine. E-mail it over.
I'll take a look.
324
00:13:47,777 --> 00:13:49,199
Oh, sorry. Where were we?
325
00:13:49,324 --> 00:13:51,066
Love your kids.
Don't miss your job.
326
00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:52,917
Right, right.
327
00:13:53,837 --> 00:13:55,294
There's nothing in the world
328
00:13:55,363 --> 00:13:57,005
like holding your sleeping baby,
329
00:13:57,074 --> 00:13:59,007
knowing you make him
feel safe and then...
330
00:13:59,074 --> 00:14:01,269
Oh, good, you got
the little cookies I like.
331
00:14:01,863 --> 00:14:03,011
I wouldn't mind a cookie.
332
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,683
And he's gone. Okay.
333
00:14:13,829 --> 00:14:14,871
Hey, Kripke.
334
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:16,863
Hello, Hofstadter.
335
00:14:17,838 --> 00:14:19,403
Why are you cleaning that out
yourself?
336
00:14:19,472 --> 00:14:20,714
Don't you have grad students?
337
00:14:20,995 --> 00:14:24,835
Come on, I can't make my grad
students do every dirty job
338
00:14:25,183 --> 00:14:29,284
or so I've been told in writing
by the head of Human Resources.
339
00:14:30,768 --> 00:14:32,792
Fair enough.
Uh, so, look,
340
00:14:32,861 --> 00:14:35,442
I'm here to ask you
to give Sheldon and Amy
341
00:14:35,511 --> 00:14:37,128
the Athenaeum for their wedding.
342
00:14:39,604 --> 00:14:41,221
Why would I do that?
343
00:14:42,604 --> 00:14:46,888
Because deep down, Barry,
you're a really good guy.
344
00:14:47,862 --> 00:14:49,424
But am I?
345
00:14:52,307 --> 00:14:54,338
Fine. What's it gonna take?
346
00:15:00,042 --> 00:15:02,112
Barry, I've come
to ask one more...
347
00:15:02,581 --> 00:15:03,714
Leonard?
348
00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:05,643
Wh-Why are you
doing that?
349
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:09,112
Because deep down
Barry is not a good guy.
350
00:15:10,128 --> 00:15:13,776
He's making you clean out
barrels of irradiated grease?
351
00:15:13,932 --> 00:15:15,417
Yeah.
352
00:15:16,573 --> 00:15:18,255
I made a deal with him
353
00:15:18,322 --> 00:15:21,167
to get you the Athenaeum
for your wedding.
354
00:15:22,034 --> 00:15:23,693
Why would you do that?
355
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:27,464
Because I was a jerk
for lying to you before
356
00:15:27,531 --> 00:15:29,166
and besides,
you're my best friend.
357
00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:31,099
I want you to have
the wedding of your dreams.
358
00:15:32,385 --> 00:15:34,120
On Mars?
359
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,182
Okay, I want Amy to have
the wedding of her dreams.
360
00:15:40,979 --> 00:15:42,299
Well, thank you.
361
00:15:42,368 --> 00:15:44,557
But... I don't want
you to do this.
362
00:15:44,626 --> 00:15:45,667
No, it's okay.
363
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,268
No, it's not.
364
00:15:47,362 --> 00:15:49,117
We're not going
to let Barry win.
365
00:15:49,186 --> 00:15:50,674
Well, what are we going to do?
366
00:15:50,807 --> 00:15:53,479
We have a combined IQ of 360.
367
00:15:53,548 --> 00:15:57,117
Perhaps more if that radiation
gave you a super brain.
368
00:15:58,626 --> 00:15:59,995
You know what? You're right.
369
00:16:00,135 --> 00:16:03,948
If we work together we could
totally outsmart Barry Kripke.
370
00:16:11,768 --> 00:16:14,471
Leonard, my nose itches.
What do I do?
371
00:16:18,117 --> 00:16:19,134
Oh, boy.
372
00:16:19,385 --> 00:16:21,051
I really
passed out hard.
373
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:22,262
Yeah, tell me about it.
374
00:16:22,331 --> 00:16:23,952
The kids could've screamed
bloody murder
375
00:16:24,019 --> 00:16:25,698
and you wouldn't have woken up.
376
00:16:25,971 --> 00:16:28,135
Which I know because they did.
377
00:16:29,643 --> 00:16:30,917
I'm sorry.
378
00:16:30,986 --> 00:16:33,276
Why did I think I could
do this on my own?
379
00:16:33,345 --> 00:16:35,376
Hey, don't beat yourself up.
380
00:16:35,445 --> 00:16:36,940
Parenting is hard.
381
00:16:37,026 --> 00:16:39,081
Like, I've seen
and smelled things today
382
00:16:39,150 --> 00:16:41,549
that I cannot unsee or unsmell.
383
00:16:43,065 --> 00:16:44,503
Thanks for covering for me.
384
00:16:44,572 --> 00:16:46,182
No, I mean he only drinks milk.
385
00:16:46,251 --> 00:16:48,620
Like, where are the colors
coming from?
386
00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:53,527
What time is it?
387
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,073
Uh, it's almost 6:00.
388
00:16:55,142 --> 00:16:57,018
Okay. Bernadette's
gonna be home soon.
389
00:16:57,087 --> 00:16:58,318
We got to divide
and conquer.
390
00:16:58,387 --> 00:16:59,979
I'll make dinner.
You watch the kids.
391
00:17:00,048 --> 00:17:01,417
Uh, kids are asleep.
392
00:17:01,534 --> 00:17:03,378
Great, then you
make dinner.
393
00:17:06,104 --> 00:17:07,940
Hey, good news, Amy.
394
00:17:08,206 --> 00:17:09,581
We got the Athenaeum.
395
00:17:09,713 --> 00:17:10,738
Oh, my gosh.
396
00:17:10,807 --> 00:17:12,401
That's amazing.
397
00:17:12,516 --> 00:17:14,581
How'd you get Barry
to change his mind?
398
00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:16,332
Well, I couldn't have done it
without Leonard.
399
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:17,933
Boy, you should've seen us
in there.
400
00:17:18,002 --> 00:17:20,112
We were like
Batman and Robin.
401
00:17:21,485 --> 00:17:22,870
Why do I have to be Robin?
402
00:17:22,939 --> 00:17:25,385
If you have to ask,
you're Robin.
403
00:17:26,526 --> 00:17:27,697
What happened?
404
00:17:27,766 --> 00:17:30,551
Well, we scrubbed out some
barrels of irradiated grease,
405
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,098
rinsed off in
a safety shower
406
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:34,854
and then told Barry
Kripke what is what.
407
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:36,693
And he just gave in?
408
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,971
Well, we agreed to invite him
to the wedding.
409
00:17:39,081 --> 00:17:40,682
Okay. No problem.
410
00:17:40,751 --> 00:17:41,957
And he gets to bring a date.
411
00:17:42,026 --> 00:17:43,332
- Yeah.
- Well, that's reasonable.
412
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:46,971
A-And if she charges by
the hour, we have to cover it.
413
00:17:49,456 --> 00:17:51,307
What else did you agree to?
414
00:17:51,409 --> 00:17:56,315
Well, um, you know
how Barry has the voice of an angel?
415
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,480
He is not singing
at our wedding.
416
00:17:59,549 --> 00:18:02,104
He only
wants to sing “Volare.”
417
00:18:02,417 --> 00:18:04,346
Oh, “Volare”.
418
00:18:06,331 --> 00:18:07,991
That's what he was saying.
419
00:18:08,058 --> 00:18:10,174
Boy, I didn't,
I did not get that.
420
00:18:10,995 --> 00:18:13,362
Guys, I appreciate
everything you did,
421
00:18:13,431 --> 00:18:16,061
but we can find another location
that's just as good.
422
00:18:16,172 --> 00:18:19,098
Maybe the Japanese garden
or the planetarium.
423
00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:20,967
The planetarium.
424
00:18:21,036 --> 00:18:22,506
I hadn't thought about that.
425
00:18:22,589 --> 00:18:23,756
That's even better.
426
00:18:23,825 --> 00:18:25,124
Wait, what?
427
00:18:25,233 --> 00:18:27,208
I scrubbed sludge for you.
428
00:18:27,358 --> 00:18:30,451
I may be
slightly radioactive.
429
00:18:31,014 --> 00:18:32,944
Oh, you're exaggerating.
430
00:18:33,053 --> 00:18:35,061
Don't let him touch
the silverware.
431
00:18:43,366 --> 00:18:45,515
Why is Raj asleep
on our couch?
432
00:18:45,585 --> 00:18:47,647
Oh. I needed some help
so he came by,
433
00:18:47,716 --> 00:18:49,318
played with the kids,
read them some stories,
434
00:18:49,386 --> 00:18:51,841
put them down for their nap
and made dinner.
435
00:18:52,804 --> 00:18:54,129
What'd you do?
436
00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:56,147
Ate dinner.
437
00:18:58,052 --> 00:18:59,912
Okay, look,
I don't think I'm cut out
438
00:18:59,981 --> 00:19:01,002
to be a stay-at-home dad.
439
00:19:01,069 --> 00:19:04,145
And since you want to,
you should stay home.
440
00:19:04,214 --> 00:19:06,351
I-I do definitely want to,
441
00:19:06,489 --> 00:19:09,556
but I know how much this means
to you and it was just one day.
442
00:19:09,625 --> 00:19:11,692
So, don't give up.
443
00:19:13,192 --> 00:19:14,786
You don't want to
stay home, either.
444
00:19:14,855 --> 00:19:16,083
Do you?
445
00:19:16,274 --> 00:19:17,888
When I went by the office
they gave me
446
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:20,575
coffee and cookies
and no one peed on me.
447
00:19:22,339 --> 00:19:24,513
I miss that so much.
448
00:19:25,050 --> 00:19:29,544
Well, I love the kids,
but I also love my job.
449
00:19:29,665 --> 00:19:31,731
And sleep.
450
00:19:32,033 --> 00:19:34,778
I know. I took a two-hour nap
on the couch in my office.
451
00:19:34,847 --> 00:19:37,638
I took a three-hour nap on
the floor in the living room.
452
00:19:38,729 --> 00:19:39,911
How do you feel now?
453
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:42,638
Honestly? Still tired.
454
00:19:43,612 --> 00:19:45,325
Me, too.
455
00:19:45,622 --> 00:19:46,692
I love you.
456
00:19:46,761 --> 00:19:48,062
I love you, too.
457
00:19:48,142 --> 00:19:49,608
And we'll figure this all out.
458
00:19:49,691 --> 00:19:50,950
Yeah.
459
00:19:53,082 --> 00:19:54,683
Everyone's asleep.
460
00:19:55,302 --> 00:19:58,255
You want to head
upstairs and...
461
00:19:58,359 --> 00:19:59,841
you know.
462
00:20:01,403 --> 00:20:02,934
Let's just do it right here.
463
00:20:03,026 --> 00:20:05,838
Oh, oh, I like
the way you think.
464
00:20:12,216 --> 00:20:15,846
♪♪