1 00:00:00,350 --> 00:00:01,673 Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:04,240 We conclusively proved super-asymmetry, 3 00:00:04,241 --> 00:00:07,260 and yet somehow we-we still feel like imposters. 4 00:00:07,330 --> 00:00:09,090 Yeah, there should be a term for that. 5 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,830 Oh, for crying out loud, there is a term for that! 6 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,930 It's called "imposter syndrome," 7 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,000 and you don't have it, because you can't have it 8 00:00:16,070 --> 00:00:18,089 if you are imposters, and you are! 9 00:00:18,090 --> 00:00:20,950 We're the ones who discovered super-asymmetry, 10 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:23,320 so if anyone's gonna feel like they have imposter syndrome, 11 00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:27,130 it's us because we're not imposters, they are! 12 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,130 You're imposters and you're frauds! 13 00:00:33,140 --> 00:00:35,500 I think what President Siebert is trying to say is that 14 00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:38,340 this is a setback and we should adopt a different strategy. 15 00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:40,970 I-I'm sorry. I-I just... I-I snapped. 16 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,610 Oh, you're sorry. It's all better, then. 17 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,450 Listen up, you have shot to win a Nobel Prize, 18 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:47,850 and you're blowing it. 19 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,050 I think what President Siebert is trying to say 20 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,490 is that you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize, 21 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,090 and you're blowing it. 22 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,530 Uh, that's exactly what he said. 23 00:00:58,590 --> 00:01:01,830 Yes, but I said it in my calming HR voice. 24 00:01:04,270 --> 00:01:07,100 So, obviously, 25 00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:09,370 I'm really sorry about my outburst. 26 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,640 (STAMMERS) Calling you frauds was unacceptable. 27 00:01:11,710 --> 00:01:13,340 I feel terrible about it. 28 00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:15,280 It has caused her a lot of stress. 29 00:01:15,340 --> 00:01:16,780 She chewed through her night guard 30 00:01:16,850 --> 00:01:19,550 like it was a piece of jerky. 31 00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:21,450 What you said was really hurtful, 32 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,380 especially because I thought we were friends. 33 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,590 Why would you think that? 34 00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,590 Ouch. 35 00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:31,590 Ignore them; they're just mean people. 36 00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:33,930 Uh, not mean, just sorry. 37 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,260 Seem mean, are sorry. Happens all the time. 38 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:39,630 It's okay. I talked to my therapist, 39 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,640 and she made me realize that what you said 40 00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:44,370 was really more about your own insecurities. 41 00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:48,240 I'm sorry, what? 42 00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:50,680 There you go, she's sorry. We all heard it. Moving on. 43 00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:52,680 Yes, obviously, 44 00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:54,680 you're angry at all the attention we're getting 45 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:56,680 for our discovery and you're lashing out. 46 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,550 Well, uh, technically, she lashed out. 47 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,860 I contained myself, which I don't think 48 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,120 I'm getting enough credit for. 49 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,490 The point is we should take it as a compliment 50 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,060 that even you guys think we will win the Nobel Prize. 51 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,330 Uh, no, we-we certainly do not think that. 52 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,870 The Nobel Committee will realize 53 00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:16,470 that we came up with this theory. 54 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:17,540 But we proved it. 55 00:02:17,610 --> 00:02:18,710 By accident. 56 00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:21,310 All breakthroughs happen by accident. 57 00:02:21,380 --> 00:02:24,040 No, they don't! 58 00:02:25,780 --> 00:02:27,380 Look, the Nobel Committee doesn't like infighting, 59 00:02:27,450 --> 00:02:29,550 so if the four of you don't stop sniping at each other, 60 00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:31,420 the award's gonna go to someone else entirely. 61 00:02:31,490 --> 00:02:33,720 He's right. 62 00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:35,990 You know, like it or not, we can't avoid each other. 63 00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:38,560 Let's at least try to be civil. 64 00:02:38,630 --> 00:02:39,630 Agreed. 65 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,460 You know, when you think about it, 66 00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:44,830 we're linked together the same way that super-asymmetry 67 00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:47,330 links together every atom in the universe. Hmm. 68 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,440 That's not what it does at all! 69 00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:53,770 Well, that's the great thing about science. 70 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,440 We all get to have our own opinions. 71 00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:06,090 I'm still not talking. That's impressive, right? 72 00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:10,190 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 73 00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:13,430 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 74 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,090 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 75 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,860 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 76 00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:20,370 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 77 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,070 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 78 00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:24,970 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 79 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,610 ♪ Bang! ♪ 80 00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:34,200 You... No, no, no, no. Your money's no good here. 81 00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:41,440 Well, I'm glad that we hashed all that out, 82 00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:44,380 and moving forward, may the best team win. 83 00:03:44,450 --> 00:03:45,910 I couldn't agree more. 84 00:03:45,980 --> 00:03:48,450 (QUIETLY): We're the best team. 85 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,450 Greg Pemberton, you old so-and-so. 86 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,090 (CHUCKLES) Very good to see you. 87 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,560 Uh, let me introduce you to my colleague, Dr. Campbell. 88 00:03:55,630 --> 00:03:57,830 Uh, Kevin, this is Barry Kripke. We went to college together. 89 00:03:57,890 --> 00:04:00,560 Great to meet you. Well, you have my number. 90 00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:02,630 We should hit up the buffet at the strip club 91 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,170 while you're in town. 92 00:04:04,230 --> 00:04:06,930 Nothing beats a lap dance and a baked potato bar, huh? 93 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,200 (CHUCKLES) 94 00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:09,570 You can come, too. 95 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,640 That's a hard pass. 96 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,010 I'll walk you out. 97 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,040 PEMBERTON: Good to see you, Barry. 98 00:04:16,110 --> 00:04:18,350 You're the best! 99 00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:19,850 Oh... 100 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,280 God, I hate that guy. 101 00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:25,490 That's strange; you seem quite fond of him. 102 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:29,020 I was only being polite. Pemberton is a grade A weasel. 103 00:04:29,090 --> 00:04:30,930 How do I know you're not just being polite 104 00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:32,560 when you say it's nice to see me? 105 00:04:32,630 --> 00:04:35,930 I have literally never said that to you. 106 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,600 Why do you say he's a weasel? 107 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,800 (SIGHS) Pemberton's whole M.O. 108 00:04:41,870 --> 00:04:44,670 was to take other people's ideas and turn them in as his own. 109 00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:46,810 That's exactly what he's doing to us. 110 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,680 I'm not surprised. I heard the only work he did on his thesis 111 00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:52,980 was googling, "Where can I buy a thesis?" 112 00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:57,080 Well, plagiarism is a pretty serious charge. Are you sure? 113 00:04:57,150 --> 00:04:59,520 You want proof? I can make some calls. 114 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,360 You'd do that for us? 115 00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:04,430 I really don't want to see that guy win a Nobel. 116 00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:06,660 I also don't want to see you win a Nobel. 117 00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:08,500 Ooh, this is tricky. 118 00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:12,830 I don't know, Barry. It sounds a little sleazy. 119 00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:15,840 Well, let me know if you change your mind. 120 00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:18,670 Sleazy is where I thrive. 121 00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:24,010 So I was talking to my mom 122 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,850 about our Pemberton and Campbell situation. 123 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,250 Really? What'd she say? 124 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,820 Apparently, Old Testament God would bring down his wrath 125 00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:31,220 on them for being deceitful, 126 00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,320 but New Testament God would forgive them. 127 00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:38,130 So couldn't we just bring down our wrath 128 00:05:38,190 --> 00:05:40,530 and ask the New Testament God to forgive us? 129 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,830 You know, I asked her that very question. And? 130 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:45,470 She said I was full of California sass. 131 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,200 Oh, good, you're all here. Uh, we're wrestling 132 00:05:49,270 --> 00:05:51,570 with an ethical question, and perhaps you could help. 133 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,210 Sure, what's up? Yeah. Fire away. 134 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,710 If we have damaging and embarrassing information 135 00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:59,450 about someone, should we keep it to ourselves or expose them? 136 00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:05,820 Quick question: Does it happen to do with online tastes 137 00:06:05,890 --> 00:06:08,260 that might or might not reflect their real-life tastes? 138 00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:11,960 I know all about your tall girl website. 139 00:06:12,030 --> 00:06:13,730 It goes on our credit card. 140 00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:18,270 It's Dr. Pemberton. 141 00:06:18,330 --> 00:06:20,400 Kripke says he plagiarized his thesis, 142 00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:21,970 and that he can prove it. 143 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:25,410 Wow. Well, that's not gonna sit well with the Nobel Committee. 144 00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:27,470 Hang on. I don't think it's fair to use something 145 00:06:27,540 --> 00:06:29,980 someone did in school against them. 146 00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:33,150 Relax, he said it's not you. 147 00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:35,120 I don't know. If someone's a cheater, 148 00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:38,020 they should be held accountable no matter how long ago it was. 149 00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:41,920 (LAUGHS): Okay, now you just sound crazy. 150 00:06:41,990 --> 00:06:44,020 So you really think they should do this? 151 00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:46,260 (STAMMERS) It wouldn't just knock Pemberton 152 00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:49,260 out of Nobel contention, it would blow up his whole career. 153 00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:51,670 To that, I say kaboom! 154 00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:55,940 No, I meant it's a bad thing. 155 00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:57,370 No, no, I agree with Bernadette. 156 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,670 If Pemberton cheated, 157 00:06:58,740 --> 00:07:00,740 maybe he shouldn't have a career in the first place. 158 00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:02,640 There's plenty of people that didn't plagiarize. 159 00:07:02,710 --> 00:07:04,910 And a few of us who did, but it's only 'cause 160 00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:06,910 The Scarlet Letter was so boring. 161 00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:11,020 Aw, I love The Scarlet Letter. 162 00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:13,790 Th-That's where I got my taste for bad girls. 163 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:20,090 Ugh, why is this decision so hard? 164 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,760 Maybe because you want to win, 165 00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:24,500 but deep down you know it's not the honorable way to do it. 166 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,030 Otherwise, you would've done it already. 167 00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,740 That's really wise. 168 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,640 Yes, but it may just be the Indian accent. 169 00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:37,980 Do you think by not exposing Pemberton 170 00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:40,310 we're doing the right thing? 171 00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:41,950 Of course. 172 00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:45,220 Unless you think we're not doing the right thing. 173 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:47,050 Why would you think that I don't think 174 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,390 we're doing the right thing? 175 00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:52,060 You might think that if good people hold themselves 176 00:07:52,130 --> 00:07:54,060 to unrealistically high ethical standards, 177 00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:57,130 then they might lose out to their unscrupulous competitors. 178 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,300 Is that what you think? 179 00:07:58,370 --> 00:07:59,570 No. 180 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,400 No, I just thought if you thought we weren't 181 00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:04,340 doing the right thing, that's why you might think that. 182 00:08:04,410 --> 00:08:06,610 Well, if I did think that, 183 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,940 you might point out that people who claim 184 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,380 it's okay to do bad things to win 185 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:14,010 are bad people no matter what they tell themselves. 186 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,750 And I'd be right 187 00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:17,020 to point that out. 188 00:08:17,090 --> 00:08:18,750 Because you're a good person. 189 00:08:20,590 --> 00:08:23,160 I love talking to you. 190 00:08:23,230 --> 00:08:25,690 It's like talking to me, but with a girl voice. 191 00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:32,030 I'm just saying, Sheldon and Amy deserve to win, 192 00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:34,270 and sometimes that means doing what you got to do. 193 00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:36,970 Don't you think it's better to take the high road? 194 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,340 Yeah, and instead of guns, 195 00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:42,580 armies should carry candy canes that shoot wishes. 196 00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:44,210 So what's the worst thing you've ever done 197 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:45,810 to get something you wanted? 198 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,410 I'm not gonna tell you that. 199 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,820 Oh, come on. I'll tell you mine. 200 00:08:49,890 --> 00:08:52,590 (LAUGHS): Right, 'cause yours is gonna be 201 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:55,190 as bad as mine. Okay. 202 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:57,690 (CHUCKLES) Come on, just tell me. 203 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,630 Okay, fine. 204 00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:02,060 When we first met, there was another waitress 205 00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:04,100 at The Cheesecake Factory who thought you were cute, 206 00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:08,940 so I told her you had all the hepatitises, A through Z. 207 00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:11,570 There aren't 26 hepatitises. 208 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,440 Well, if she was smart enough to know that, 209 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:15,840 she wouldn't still be working at a Cheesecake Factory. 210 00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:17,640 Oh, she still works there? Who was it? 211 00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:19,180 Why does it matter? 212 00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:23,180 You're right, it doesn't matter 'cause I got the best one. 213 00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:26,720 Was it Susan? 214 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,160 Why? Because she's tall? 215 00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:30,360 Good night. 216 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,890 Can't believe it. 217 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,400 Sheldon loves telling on people when they break the rules. 218 00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:38,500 Yeah, well, maybe he's changed. 219 00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:40,570 He hasn't changed. Last week, when the vending machine 220 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,740 gave me two bags of chips, he called my mom. 221 00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:45,640 Well, that didn't ruin your life. 222 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:46,910 Well, it ruined my day. 223 00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:49,710 I had to talk to my mom, who, by the way, 224 00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:54,250 is-is polyamorous now, so that's fun to think about. 225 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,380 Look, I'm proud of Sheldon and Amy. 226 00:09:56,450 --> 00:09:58,650 You know? They want to win this thing on their own merits, 227 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,750 not by knocking out the competition. 228 00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:02,220 Yeah, but what if they don't win? 229 00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:04,390 Uh, Pemberton and Campbell have done an amazing job 230 00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:06,560 of associating their names with super-asymmetry. 231 00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:08,660 They have all the momentum right now. 232 00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:10,330 I don't like the idea of them losing either, 233 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,930 but this is their decision to make, not ours. 234 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,370 (SIGHS) 235 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,970 Maybe it is ours. 236 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,470 What do you mean? 237 00:10:17,540 --> 00:10:20,640 Well, I-if Sheldon and Amy don't want to expose Pemberton, 238 00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:23,180 that doesn't mean someone else can't do it for them. 239 00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:24,910 They'd never have to know. 240 00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:26,780 Really? You'd do that? 241 00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:28,120 They deserve the Nobel. 242 00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:30,620 I'm not gonna let two frauds steal it from them. 243 00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:33,320 And if that means getting my hands dirty, so be it. 244 00:10:33,390 --> 00:10:36,720 (LAUGHS) What's so funny? 245 00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:41,300 Just realized I've never actually seen your hands dirty. 246 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,730 All right, Hofstadter, here's all the proof you need. 247 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,570 Great, thanks. Just remember, 248 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:51,370 once you take this envelope, there's no turning back. 249 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,040 What if I look at it and decide not to use it? 250 00:10:57,610 --> 00:10:59,550 I had not considered that. 251 00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:01,850 Got to hand it to you, 252 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,680 you got a real talent for making things boring. 253 00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,750 Thanks. 254 00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:07,960 Hey, look at that, you did it again. 255 00:11:10,090 --> 00:11:11,230 Hi, Leonard. 256 00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:13,060 What? Nothing. 257 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,960 You okay? 258 00:11:15,030 --> 00:11:16,330 Uh, no, you are. 259 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,280 So guess what. There was a waitress 260 00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:27,280 at The Cheesecake Factory back in the day 261 00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:29,380 who kind of had a thing for me. 262 00:11:29,450 --> 00:11:33,020 Other than Bernadette? That does not sound right. 263 00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:34,450 Honest to God. 264 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,850 Oh, well, who was it? 265 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,350 It doesn't even matter. I'm happily married. 266 00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:40,860 The point is women... plural... Find me appealing. 267 00:11:40,930 --> 00:11:43,360 Okay. Okay, well, well, let's see. 268 00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:45,530 Okay? We-we know it wasn't Penny, 269 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,870 we know it wasn't Susan... Wait. 270 00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:49,270 How do we know it wasn't Susan? 271 00:11:49,340 --> 00:11:51,030 Uh, because she had a type. 272 00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:52,300 What type? 273 00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:55,140 Don't make me say it. 274 00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:58,140 Are you saying I'm not a handsome guy? 275 00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:00,910 See? It's mean, right? 276 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,220 Hold on, as we've established, 277 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,920 a minimum of two women think I'm attractive. 278 00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:11,090 Uh, yeah, you're right, it was totally Susan. 279 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,960 I didn't say it was her. I said it could've been. 280 00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:17,160 It could've been anybody. Marta, Gina, Annalise... 281 00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:20,730 It's a little creepy that you remember all their names. 282 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,230 Not just their names. 283 00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,330 The cars they drove, the color of their eyes, 284 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,440 and whether or not they had boyfriends. 285 00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:31,440 Your husband was acting kind of weird today. 286 00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:34,810 You sure you're not thinking about your husband? 287 00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:37,410 No. He was acting all sketchy. 288 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,280 Almost like he was guilty or something. 289 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,750 Oh. Well, that doesn't mean anything. 290 00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:43,750 I mean, Leonard has resting guilt face. 291 00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,760 Yeah, it's-it's like, "What are you guilty about, Leonard?" 292 00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:48,330 "Nothing." "Well, then, tell it to your face." (SCOFFS) 293 00:12:48,390 --> 00:12:50,460 Are you okay? 294 00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:52,260 I'm so okay, yeah. 295 00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,500 Then why are you acting guilty now? 296 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,400 Okay, look, Leonard knows 297 00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:59,870 that you and Sheldon decided to take the high road, 298 00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:01,340 so he went to Kripke for you. 299 00:13:01,410 --> 00:13:03,340 But that just means you didn't do anything wrong, 300 00:13:03,410 --> 00:13:05,210 and now you don't risk losing to those idiots. 301 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,110 Why did you tell me? 302 00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:09,480 Now that I know, I'm implicated. 303 00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:10,710 But you wanted me to. 304 00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,880 I also wanted you to be my jester 305 00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:15,350 at the Renaissance Fair, but that didn't happen. 306 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,890 I wanted to be a princess. 307 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,290 There was only one princess, and it was me! 308 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,460 Fine. I'm sorry I told you. 309 00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:26,430 And I forgive you. 310 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,270 'Cause that's what a princess would do. 311 00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,800 Kudos on the meatballs. 312 00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:34,810 They're nice and round. 313 00:13:36,610 --> 00:13:38,080 Thanks. Yeah. 314 00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:40,080 They're much better than those prolate spheroids 315 00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:42,580 you used to pass off as balls. 316 00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:44,310 Okay. 317 00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:47,180 Are you all right? You seem distracted. 318 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:50,820 Yeah, sorry. I'm just trying to figure something out. 319 00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:52,690 Is it what to get me for our anniversary? 320 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,360 'Cause I'll give you A HINT: it's already 321 00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:57,860 in my Amazon basket. Just click "buy now." 322 00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:00,430 I filled out the gift card for you. 323 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:03,670 Apparently, I'm the light of your life. 324 00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:07,500 Sheldon, if someone were gonna do something 325 00:14:07,570 --> 00:14:09,740 ethically murky on your behalf, 326 00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:11,580 would you rather know about it 327 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,880 or not know about it to retain your innocence? 328 00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:19,020 Well, now that I know there's a thing to know, I have to know. 329 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,690 Can't help myself; I'm a fact addict. 330 00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:23,420 That's not a real thing. 331 00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:25,660 And that's a fact. 332 00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:30,190 Leonard, I know what you're planning to do, 333 00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:31,460 and I said I didn't want to do it. 334 00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:32,700 What? You told him? 335 00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:34,130 Well, you told me. 336 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,700 Yeah, that's-that's probably where you heard it. 337 00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:39,470 You're not doing anything wrong. 338 00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,240 That's the point. I'm doing it. 339 00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:43,040 Yeah, but it's still wrong. 340 00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:44,780 Well, so is you and Amy not getting 341 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,210 the recognition for your discovery. 342 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,380 And if that means I have to do something shady 343 00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:50,650 so you don't have to, I'm okay with that. 344 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,180 But we're not. 345 00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:55,090 I mean, it's sweet that you want to help, but we don't want you 346 00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:57,250 compromising your integrity for us. 347 00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,760 Wait, what... really? 348 00:14:59,830 --> 00:15:02,090 I thought we were just worried about looking bad. 349 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,230 It could be both. 350 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,900 Okay. 351 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,030 But I'm gonna go with my reason. Yours is too complicated. 352 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,100 Hey. 353 00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:15,410 Hey. 354 00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:19,010 Listen, I did something kind of stupid today. 355 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,280 Okay. 356 00:15:21,350 --> 00:15:22,950 I went to The Cheesecake Factory 357 00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:26,320 to try to figure out who that waitress was. 358 00:15:26,390 --> 00:15:28,320 Howie. Don't worry, I didn't find out, 359 00:15:28,390 --> 00:15:31,250 because I realized I didn't even care. (CHUCKLES) 360 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,860 W-While I was there, I started asking myself, 361 00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:35,760 "Why does this mean anything to me?" 362 00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:41,500 And... I guess the truth is it was all about my vanity. 363 00:15:41,570 --> 00:15:45,440 And why should I need to be validated by another woman 364 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:50,570 liking me when the best woman in the world already loves me? 365 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:51,940 (SIGHS) 366 00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:54,510 And I just wanted you to know that. 367 00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:56,180 (CHUCKLES) 368 00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:57,710 The restaurant manager already called. 369 00:15:57,780 --> 00:15:59,580 You really creeped a lot of people out. 370 00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:04,820 And I regret that. (CHUCKLES) 371 00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:07,590 Because the only woman I want to creep out 372 00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:09,430 is the mother of my children. 373 00:16:11,830 --> 00:16:14,460 Well, you're off to a good start. 374 00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:20,400 Thank you for meeting us. 375 00:16:20,470 --> 00:16:21,570 No problem. 376 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,540 We never say no when someone wants to buy us lunch. 377 00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:26,080 We didn't say we were going to buy you lunch. 378 00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,080 Really? Apologies go down easier 379 00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:30,380 with free turkey club sandwiches. 380 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,350 This isn't another apology. 381 00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:35,820 There's something we have to give you. 382 00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:37,490 Yes. 383 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:41,860 Uh, we have proof that you plagiarized your thesis. 384 00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:44,360 It's why we invited you to this lunch. 385 00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:45,860 (GASPS) We invited them. 386 00:16:45,930 --> 00:16:49,430 That's the confusion over who's paying. 387 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,400 Hold on, are you blackmailing us? 388 00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,140 No, the opposite. 389 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,240 We're blackmailing you? 390 00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:01,680 How are you up for a Nobel?! 391 00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:03,550 SHELDON: We're giving you this 392 00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:05,720 so that no one can use it against you, 393 00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:08,220 because we want to win on our own merits, 394 00:17:08,290 --> 00:17:10,020 not by tearing you down. 395 00:17:10,090 --> 00:17:12,360 So it's true? You really did this? 396 00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,690 It was years ago, and I was going through 397 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,690 a very hard time. What hard time? 398 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,730 I had to write a thesis, and I wasn't smart enough to do it. 399 00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:23,170 You realize my name is attached to yours. 400 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,140 If this gets out, it ruins me, too. 401 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,900 It's not gonna get out. 402 00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:28,310 (SCOFFS) You know what? Linda was right. 403 00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:29,870 You're always looking for shortcuts. 404 00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:32,910 When did you talk to my ex-wife? 405 00:17:32,980 --> 00:17:33,980 She's not your ex-wife. 406 00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:35,280 You keep dragging your feet on those papers. 407 00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:38,320 Well, I'm trying to get the lake house. 408 00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:39,550 You're not getting the lake house. 409 00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:41,550 You're never getting the lake house. 410 00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,020 She picked it out, she decorated it. 411 00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:44,620 The lake house is hers. 412 00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,390 What is going on here? 413 00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:48,760 I'm in love with Linda! 414 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:53,430 You son of a bitch! 415 00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:00,200 (BOTH GRUNTING) 416 00:18:02,470 --> 00:18:04,910 That was my iced tea. 417 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,930 (SLURRING): Dr. Cooper, Dr. Fowler. 418 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,000 Just the guy I want to see. 419 00:18:14,070 --> 00:18:16,500 Are you drunk? 420 00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:19,470 I was, and then I still was. 421 00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:22,280 And now, I still was. 422 00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:25,010 Okay, can we help you? 423 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,980 Pemberton is out. 424 00:18:27,050 --> 00:18:30,020 Someone published all the information about his plagiarism. 425 00:18:30,090 --> 00:18:31,490 (WHISPERS): It was me. 426 00:18:33,790 --> 00:18:35,960 Someone else told Fermilab, and he lost his job. 427 00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:37,460 (WHISPERS): Also me. 428 00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:39,030 And someone is 429 00:18:39,090 --> 00:18:43,060 sleeping with his ex-wife and it's not me. 430 00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:45,330 I thought it was. 431 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,870 Not anymore. Apparently, just because I'm better 432 00:18:47,940 --> 00:18:51,000 than her husband doesn't mean I'm as good as her contractor. 433 00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:54,880 Women, huh? 434 00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:56,340 I-I think you need to go. 435 00:18:56,410 --> 00:18:58,410 No, wait. Hear me out. 436 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,080 Look, the three of us could team up. 437 00:19:00,150 --> 00:19:02,980 There's one small catch. Dr. Pemberton has been saying 438 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:04,790 a lot of bad stuff about me. 439 00:19:04,850 --> 00:19:07,320 But don't worry, I couldn't possibly have done any of it, 440 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,390 because I was with you guys the whole time. 441 00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:10,720 (WHISPERS): I did it. 442 00:19:14,430 --> 00:19:16,130 (STAMMERS) Frankly, I don't know what Linda 443 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,660 ever saw in either of them.