1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,270 So, you see, what you're eating is not technically yogurt, 2 00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:04,910 because it doesn't have enough live acidophilus cultures. 3 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,420 It's really just ice milk with carrageenan added for thickness. 4 00:00:08,430 --> 00:00:10,530 Oh, that's very interesting. 5 00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:13,530 It's also not pink and has no berries. 6 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,010 Yeah, but it doesn't really answer my question. 7 00:00:17,020 --> 00:00:18,550 What was your question again? 8 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,730 Do you want some? 9 00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:22,700 Right. No. 10 00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:24,060 - I'm lactose intolerant. - Right. 11 00:00:24,070 --> 00:00:26,550 - So, gas. - Yeah, got it. 12 00:00:27,220 --> 00:00:30,390 Well... good night. 13 00:00:44,270 --> 00:00:45,540 What are you doing? 14 00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:48,210 Oh, there's a draft. 15 00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:50,620 I didn't feel a draft. 16 00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:53,770 Why don't we just go into, uh, your... 17 00:00:53,780 --> 00:00:56,670 Yeah, you know what, maybe we should slow things down a little. 18 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,520 No, no, I didn't mean to go into your apartment to go fast. 19 00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:01,540 No, I know. 20 00:01:01,550 --> 00:01:04,440 I know what you meant, it's just... this is only our first date. 21 00:01:04,450 --> 00:01:05,840 Yeah, okay, sure, no problem. 22 00:01:05,850 --> 00:01:10,710 Why don't we just figure out where we're going and when we want to get there, 23 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:15,490 and then rate of speed equals distance over time. 24 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,520 Solve for R. 25 00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:22,080 Or we could just wing it. 26 00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:24,720 That might work too. 27 00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:26,820 - Good night, Leonard. - Good night. 28 00:01:31,770 --> 00:01:34,090 He's coming... screensaver! 29 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:42,220 Oh, hey, Leonard. How was your date? 30 00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:44,290 Bite me. 31 00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:48,870 Sheldon, how could you just sit there and let them spy on me? 32 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:49,880 They were clever, Leonard. 33 00:01:49,890 --> 00:01:54,450 They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing. 34 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,070 You should thank us. 35 00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:00,800 When future generations try to determine why your relationship with Penny crashed and burned, 36 00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:04,100 this right here is the black box. 37 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,750 What are you talking about? The date went fine. 38 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,760 Dude, she said she wants to slow things down. 39 00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,880 Okay, so she said she wants to slow things down. 40 00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:15,850 It's like saying, "I'm really enjoying this meal. 41 00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:18,230 I'm going to slow down and savor it". 42 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,600 No, it's like, "this fish tastes bad, 43 00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:26,850 so I'm gonna slow down and spit it out". 44 00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:30,010 - You being the fish. - I'm not the fish. 45 00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:32,250 Oh, really? Did you make a second date? 46 00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:34,150 Well, no, we sort of decided to wing it. 47 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,270 Oh, even I know that's lame. 48 00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:40,490 Okay, all right, let's assume your hypothesis. 49 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:43,960 We went to dinner, we talked, we laughed, we kissed. 50 00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:45,820 Where could I have possibly gone wrong? 51 00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,010 Think back, Leonard. 52 00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:49,140 The littlest things can set women off. 53 00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:54,020 Like, "hey, the waitress is hot, I bet we could get her to come home with us". 54 00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:55,840 Or, "how much does your mom weigh? 55 00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:58,230 I want to know what I'm getting into". 56 00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,650 I didn't say anything like that. 57 00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:02,540 Good,'cause they don't work. 58 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,260 They also don't care for it if you stare at them and hyperventilate. 59 00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:08,330 Sadly, that's my home run swing. 60 00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:10,640 Look, everything went fine. 61 00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:14,940 I didn't even have to refer to my impromptu conversation starters. 62 00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:17,790 That woman across the hall is into me. 63 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,610 Let's go to the tape. 64 00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:23,710 Look at her reaction to the good night kiss. 65 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:28,230 No change in respiration, pupils un-dilated, no flushing of the chest. 66 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,150 Nice close-up, by the way. 67 00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:33,810 Interesting. Her jaws are clenched: no tongue access. 68 00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:37,610 Clearly a bad sign amongst mating humans. 69 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,250 That's not a bad sign. 70 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:43,540 Please, you might as well have been two iguana with no dewlap enlargement. 71 00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:46,780 And the worst sign of all is you're here and not there. 72 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:50,940 I'm not there because I'm taking things slow, which, 73 00:03:50,950 --> 00:03:55,050 by the way, compared to you guys, approaches warp speed. 74 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,490 And take down that camera. 75 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,820 He was a lot more fun when he had no hope. 76 00:04:05,340 --> 00:04:07,200 Give him time. 77 00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:14,860 78 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:24,070 79 00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:29,340 The Big Bang Theory Season 2 - Episode 1 "The Bad Fish Paradigm" 80 00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:41,480 Oh, hi Penny. 81 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:45,550 FYI, the hot water is inadequate on machine two, so colors only, 82 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,460 and four is still releasing the fabric softener too early in the cycle, 83 00:04:48,490 --> 00:04:50,230 so I'd avoid using that for your delicates. 84 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,220 Thanks. 85 00:04:54,930 --> 00:04:56,200 Oh, good Lord... 86 00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:59,820 why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock? 87 00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:07,740 Sheldon, can I ask you a question? 88 00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:12,210 I would prefer that you not, but I won't go so far as to forbid it. 89 00:05:12,220 --> 00:05:15,270 All right, I heard yes, so... 90 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,070 Okay, here's my question. 91 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:22,190 Has Leonard ever dated, you know, a regular girl? 92 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,570 Well, I assume you're not referring to digestive regularity. 93 00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:30,810 Because I've come to learn that such inquiries are inappropriate. 94 00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:36,760 No, I meant, has he ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac? 95 00:05:36,780 --> 00:05:43,170 Oh. Well, a few years ago, he did go out with a woman who had a PhD in French literature. 96 00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:46,180 How is that not a brainiac? 97 00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:49,250 Well, for one thing, she was French. 98 00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:53,700 For another, it was literature. 99 00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:01,220 So... 100 00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:07,000 do you think that if Leonard and I keep dating, he'll eventually get bored with me? 101 00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:15,500 - That depends. - On what? 102 00:06:15,510 --> 00:06:19,160 - Do you have a working knowledge of quantum physics? - No. 103 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:23,030 - Do you speak Klingon? - No. 104 00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:26,200 - You know any card tricks? - Okay, you know what... 105 00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:29,350 I get it. 106 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:32,840 Leonard has no business being involved with a waitress-slash-actress 107 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:37,490 who felt so insecure that she lied to him about finishing community college. 108 00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,070 Why would you lie about that? 109 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,200 Well, he was going on and on about this college and that grad school, and I... 110 00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:45,740 I didn't want him to think I was some kind of stupid loser. 111 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:50,530 You thought the opposite of "stupid loser" was "community college graduate"? 112 00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:59,480 You know, there are a lot of successful people in this country who are community college graduates. 113 00:06:59,490 --> 00:07:02,010 Yeah, but you are neither. 114 00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:06,030 Right. Okay, look, this is between you and me. 115 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,560 You cannot tell Leonard any of this. 116 00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:13,290 - You're asking me to keep a secret? - Yeah. 117 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:17,930 Well, I'm sorry, but you would have had to express that desire before revealing the secret, 118 00:07:17,940 --> 00:07:22,260 so that I could choose whether or not I wanted to accept the covenant of secret keeping. 119 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,300 You can't impose a secret on an ex post facto basis. 120 00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:29,250 What? 121 00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:31,670 Secret keeping is a complicated endeavor. 122 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,130 One has to be concerned not only about what one says, 123 00:07:34,140 --> 00:07:37,310 but about facial expressions, autonomic reflexes. 124 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:43,620 When I try to deceive, I myself have more nervous tics than a Lyme disease research facility. 125 00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:50,240 It's a joke. 126 00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,480 It relies on the homonymic relationship between "tick", 127 00:07:52,490 --> 00:07:57,440 the bloodsucking arachnid, and "tic", the involuntary muscular contraction. 128 00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:03,730 I made it up myself. 129 00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:10,290 Okay, look, if Leonard finds out that I lied, I will absolutely die of embarrassment. 130 00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:11,510 Physiologically impossible. 131 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,360 Oh, Sheldon, please. 132 00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:16,750 Look, I am asking you as a friend. 133 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:21,810 So you're saying that friendship contains within it an inherent obligation to maintain confidences? 134 00:08:21,830 --> 00:08:23,510 Well, yeah. 135 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,880 Interesting. 136 00:08:25,890 --> 00:08:28,680 One more question, and perhaps I should have led with this. 137 00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:31,390 When did we become friends? 138 00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:37,300 I.E., I couldn't become Green Lantern unless I was chosen by the Guardians of Oa, 139 00:08:37,310 --> 00:08:42,480 but given enough start-up capital and an adequate research facility, I could be Batman. 140 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:50,500 - You could be Batman? - Sure. I'm Batman. See? 141 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,470 - Hi, guys. - Hi, Penny. 142 00:08:56,870 --> 00:09:00,570 Penny, if you're not doing anything Friday night, I thought maybe we could go see a movie. 143 00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:03,550 Oh, um, you know, I think I have the dinner shift on Friday. 144 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,190 Okay, what about Saturday? 145 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,340 You know, I'm not sure. The manager hasn't posted the schedule yet. 146 00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:10,470 - How about I let you know? - Great. 147 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,450 So you just let me know when you know. Okay, so... 148 00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:16,500 Oh, God, I am the bad fish. 149 00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:19,710 What did I do wrong? 150 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,850 Why are you asking me? 151 00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:25,190 I have no information about your interactions with Penny other than what you have provided me, 152 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,600 nor do I have any method of learning such things. 153 00:09:30,610 --> 00:09:32,690 - What does that mean? - Nothing. 154 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,100 You seem to be implying an informational back-channel 155 00:09:35,110 --> 00:09:37,420 between me and Penny where obviously none exists. 156 00:09:37,430 --> 00:09:38,460 No, I didn't. 157 00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:42,220 I just think you need to be careful how you phrase things, sir. 158 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,150 What's going on with you? 159 00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:48,080 I might ask you the same question. 160 00:09:48,090 --> 00:09:52,000 Why do you insist on attempting to drag me into matters which have nothing to do with me, 161 00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:56,130 but exist between you and Penny, a person to whom I barely speak? 162 00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:06,480 What's wrong with your face? 163 00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:09,780 There's no reason to bring my looks into this. 164 00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:13,260 - Good day, Leonard. - What? 165 00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:15,530 I said, "good day". 166 00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:20,450 Good day? 167 00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:24,430 Also today, we have a fresh-caught Alaska salmon, 168 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,030 and that's served with a teriyaki glaze and sticky rice. 169 00:10:27,050 --> 00:10:27,800 Our soup of the day is... 170 00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:30,600 You must release me from my oath. 171 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,470 Sheldon, I'm working. 172 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,370 Why don't you take a minute to decide? 173 00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:41,330 I can't keep your secret, Penny. 174 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:45,990 I'm going to fold like an energy-based de novo protein in conformational space. 175 00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:49,110 Like a Renaissance tryptich. 176 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,050 Like a cheap suit. 177 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:54,280 Look, why is it so hard for you to keep one little secret? 178 00:10:54,290 --> 00:10:56,360 I'm constitutionally incapable. 179 00:10:56,370 --> 00:11:00,240 That's why I was refused clearance for a very prestigious government research fellowship 180 00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:03,610 at a secret military supercollider located beneath a fake agricultural station 181 00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:07,180 12.5 miles southeast of Traverse City, Michigan. 182 00:11:11,850 --> 00:11:14,810 Which you did not hear about from me. 183 00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:18,550 Look, just forget I told you about me... 184 00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:20,840 not graduating from community college, okay? 185 00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:22,450 Forget? You want me to forget? 186 00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:24,930 This mind does not forget. 187 00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:29,280 I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me. 188 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,640 - It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay... 189 00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,210 Look, you promised me you would keep my secret, 190 00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:38,490 so you're just gonna have to figure out a way to do it. 191 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,950 Leonard, I'm moving out. 192 00:11:42,550 --> 00:11:44,800 What do you mean you're moving out? Why? 193 00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:47,720 There doesn't have to be a reason. 194 00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:50,580 Yeah, there kinda does. 195 00:11:50,590 --> 00:11:51,820 Not necessarily. 196 00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:54,700 This is a classic example of Munchausen's Trilemma. 197 00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:58,910 Either the reason is predicated on a series of sub-reasons leading to an infinite regression, 198 00:11:58,930 --> 00:12:01,290 or it tracks back to arbitrary axiomatic statements, 199 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:02,730 or it's ultimately circular, 200 00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:05,940 I.E. I'm moving out because I'm moving out. 201 00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:09,290 I'm still confused. 202 00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:12,650 Leonard, I don't see how I could have made it any simpler. 203 00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:16,750 Hey, qu'est que s'up? 204 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,850 We just got back from that exhibit of those plasticized human cadavers. 205 00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:24,080 And some of those skinless chicks were hot! 206 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,900 If you'll excuse me, I'm going to pack. 207 00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:32,960 That's kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia. 208 00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:37,380 It's not you, Howard. He says he's moving out. 209 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,270 What did you do? 210 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,900 Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television? 211 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:43,500 No. 212 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,230 Did you take a band-aid off in front of him? 213 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,210 No. 214 00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:49,730 Did you buy generic ketchup, forget to rinse the sink, 215 00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:52,710 talk to him through the bathroom door? 216 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:56,830 Adjust the thermostat, cook with cilantro, pronounce the "t" in often? 217 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,330 No. 218 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:04,170 Did you make fun of trains? 219 00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:08,400 No, I didn't do anything. He's just gone insane. 220 00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:11,460 Well, we all knew this day was coming. 221 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:14,760 That was fast. 222 00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:17,860 It's my pre-packed disaster evacuation bag. 223 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:22,000 It's recommended by the Department of Homeland Security. 224 00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:24,390 And Sarah Connor. 225 00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:26,840 Where are you going to live? 226 00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:29,730 Until I find a permanent place, I will stay with friends. 227 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,000 Bye. 228 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,220 Well... you can't stay with me. 229 00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:38,120 I have a teeny-tiny apartment. 230 00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:42,490 Excuse me, but isn't hosting guests an aspect of "manushya yajna", 231 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:47,580 one of the five central religious duties or sacrifices of the Hindu householder? 232 00:13:50,570 --> 00:13:53,580 I hate trains. 233 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:02,160 Don't be ridiculous, you love trains. 234 00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:05,070 Yes, I do. Come on. 235 00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:09,170 See you later, Leonard. 236 00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:17,360 This could work. 237 00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:28,340 This is a very old building. 238 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,480 60 years. It used to be a watch factory. 239 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,240 What? 240 00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:37,600 Don't you worry about the residual radium from the luminous dials? 241 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,620 Not until now! 242 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:44,210 I can't believe I didn't bring my Geiger counter. 243 00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:47,390 I had it on my bed and I didn't pack it. 244 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,980 Well, if you're not comfortable staying here, Sheldon... 245 00:14:48,990 --> 00:14:51,700 I'm kidding, I packed it. 246 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,150 It was a joke. 247 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,100 I was subverting the conversational expectations. 248 00:14:56,110 --> 00:15:00,080 I believe they call that the, uh, ol' switcharoo. 249 00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:03,510 Terrific. 250 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,360 Is that woman Aishwarya Rai? 251 00:15:08,380 --> 00:15:10,150 Yes, isn't she an amazing actress? 252 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,760 Actually, I'd say she's a poor man's Madhuri Dixit. 253 00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:16,010 How dare you! 254 00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:18,180 Aishwarya Rai is a goddess. 255 00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:22,810 By comparison, Madhuri Dixit is a leprous prostitute. 256 00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:27,510 Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. 257 00:15:28,190 --> 00:15:31,770 Obviously, you're not that familiar with Indian cinema. 258 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,150 Who is it? 259 00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:43,690 Stripper-Gram! 260 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,540 Tag, you're It. 261 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:54,700 Shouldn't you put him in a brown paper bag and set him on fire? 262 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,700 I've never slept on an air mattress before. 263 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,070 No lumbar support whatsoever. 264 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:08,230 Maybe you'd be happier on a park bench. 265 00:16:08,570 --> 00:16:11,780 I don't see any way to get a park bench in here. 266 00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,450 Do you want to switch? 267 00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:14,810 No, that's fine. 268 00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:18,500 I'm perfectly comfortable sleeping on a bouncy castle. 269 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,890 Get out of bed. We're switching. 270 00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:25,070 - Now, only if you want to. - Just get in the bed! 271 00:16:25,490 --> 00:16:27,340 What's going on? 272 00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:30,910 Are you boys roughhousing? 273 00:16:31,430 --> 00:16:33,600 We're just talking, Ma! 274 00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:36,150 If you don't settle down right now, 275 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:41,150 I'm not going to let you have any more sleepovers! 276 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,990 For God's sake, Ma, I'm 27 years old! 277 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,470 And it's not even a school night! 278 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,820 Comfy now? 279 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:03,070 That poster of Halle Berry is a little unnerving. 280 00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:05,720 So don't look at it. 281 00:17:05,730 --> 00:17:07,820 She's like my fourth favorite Catwoman. 282 00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:08,650 No kidding. 283 00:17:08,670 --> 00:17:12,380 Yeah, Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eartha Kitt, and then her. 284 00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:14,100 What about Lee Merriweather? 285 00:17:14,110 --> 00:17:16,950 Oh, I forgot about Lee Merriweather. 286 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,780 Well, I'm glad that's settled. 287 00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:22,920 That makes Halle Berry my fifth favorite Catwoman. 288 00:17:22,930 --> 00:17:25,960 It's Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfieffer, Eartha Kitt, Lee Merriweather... 289 00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:28,260 Please, I'm begging you. Go to sleep. 290 00:17:28,270 --> 00:17:31,690 I'm trying. I'm counting Catwomen. 291 00:17:35,870 --> 00:17:38,580 She did make a fine mutant in the X-Men movies, though. 292 00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:39,550 Oh, for God's sake. 293 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:40,860 She's not my favorite of the X-Men. 294 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,120 In order that would be: Wolverine, Cyclops.. 295 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,680 Oh, wait, I forgot Professor X. 296 00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:49,050 Professor X, Wolverine, Cyclops, Iceman, then Storm, Angel, the Beast.. 297 00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:51,090 No, wait, Nightcrawler. 298 00:17:51,110 --> 00:17:56,300 Professor X, Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Cyclops, Iceman, then Storm, Angel... 299 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,910 I'm coming! 300 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:06,700 There he is. There my old buddy bud bud. 301 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,050 What's with him? 302 00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:15,560 Koothrappali dumped him on me, and he couldn't get to sleep, 303 00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:20,380 so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handful of my mom's Valium in it... 304 00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:25,080 but he still wouldn't shut up, so tag, you're it. 305 00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:31,780 I'm ba-a-a-ack. 306 00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:33,980 I still don't know why you left. 307 00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:35,270 I can't tell you. 308 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,590 Why not? 309 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,700 I promised Penny. 310 00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:41,280 You promised Penny what? 311 00:18:41,290 --> 00:18:44,550 I wouldn't tell you the secret. 312 00:18:47,810 --> 00:18:51,030 What secret? Tell me the secret. 313 00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:57,570 Mom smokes in the car. 314 00:18:58,810 --> 00:19:02,680 Jesus is okay with it but we can't tell Dad. 315 00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:06,730 Not that secret. The other secret. 316 00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:09,740 - I'm Batman! Shh! - Damn it! Sheldon! 317 00:19:13,490 --> 00:19:17,050 You said Penny told you a secret. What's the secret? 318 00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:21,080 Okay, I'll tell you, but you can't tell Leonard. 319 00:19:22,210 --> 00:19:24,290 I promise. 320 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:27,060 Penny lied about graduating from community college 321 00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:31,150 'cause she's afraid she's not smart enough for Leonard. 322 00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:37,880 So it's nothing I did? It's her problem? 323 00:19:37,890 --> 00:19:41,180 I drank milk that tasted funny. 324 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:48,070 Penny thinks I'm too smart for her. That's ridiculous. 325 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,690 I know. 326 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:54,350 Most of your work is extremely derivative. 327 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,280 And don't worry, that's not a secret. 328 00:19:57,290 --> 00:20:00,200 Everybody knows. 329 00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:08,740 Listen, I know what's been bothering you about us, and I have the answer. 330 00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:09,680 What are you talking about? 331 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,390 Okay, first, I want to say that it's not Sheldon's fault. 332 00:20:12,410 --> 00:20:14,360 He tried very hard to keep your secret. 333 00:20:14,370 --> 00:20:18,310 If Howard hadn't drugged him, he would've taken it to his grave. 334 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,360 He told you? 335 00:20:19,370 --> 00:20:20,930 Yes, but it's okay. 336 00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:24,980 Now that we know what the problem is there's a simple solution. 337 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,380 Pasadena City College? 338 00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:31,300 A place for fun, a place for knowledge. 339 00:20:33,540 --> 00:20:37,860 See, this man here is playing hackey-sack, and this girl's gonna be a paralegal. 340 00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,390 Oh, I get it. 341 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:45,610 Because Dr. Leonard Hofstadter can't date a girl without a fancy college degree. 342 00:20:45,630 --> 00:20:47,240 Well, it's really not that fancy. 343 00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:49,910 It's just a city college. 344 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,640 Right, but I have to have some sort of degree to date you? 345 00:20:52,650 --> 00:20:54,380 That doesn't matter to me at all. 346 00:20:54,390 --> 00:20:57,060 So it's fine with you if I'm not smart. 347 00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:59,950 Absolutely. 348 00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:07,020 Okay, this time I know where I went wrong. 349 00:21:09,190 --> 00:21:11,010 Bite me!