1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,700
Oh, look,
Saturn 3 is on.
2
00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:04,600
I don't want to watch Saturn 3.
Deep Space Nine is better.
3
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,100
How is Deep Space Nine
better than Saturn 3?
4
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:11,800
Simple subtraction
will tell you it's six better.
5
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:15,800
Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.
6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,700
In what sense is that a compromise?
7
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,200
Well, five is partway
between three... Never mind.
8
00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:27,100
I'll tell you what.
How about we go rock-paper-scissors?
9
00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:28,800
I don't think so.
10
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:32,000
Anecdotal evidence suggests
that in the game of rock-paper-scissors,
11
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,700
players familiar with each other
will tie 75 to 80% of the time
12
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,800
due to the limited number
of outcomes.
13
00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:41,200
I suggest
rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock.
14
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,200
- What?
- It's very simple.
15
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,500
Scissors cuts paper.
Paper covers rock.
16
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,000
Rock crushes lizard.
Lizard poisons Spock.
17
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,000
Spock smashes scissors.
Scissors decapitates lizard.
18
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,400
Lizard eats paper.
Paper disproves Spock.
19
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:57,900
Spock vaporizes rock.
20
00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:01,000
And as it always has,
rock crushes scissors.
21
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:05,600
Okay, I think I got it.
22
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:10,200
Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock!
23
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,400
Hello, boys.
24
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,100
Ahoy, matey.
25
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,300
Noticed the eye patch, did you?
26
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,000
It's all part of a technique
I've been studying for picking up women.
27
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,800
You employ a visual display
28
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:34,800
designed to make yourself
distinctive and memorable.
29
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,700
Oh, yes, like the male peacock
with brilliant plumage
30
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,500
or the rutting baboon
with engorged hindquarters.
31
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,600
Or in this case,
the bar mitzvah boy with pinkeye.
32
00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,700
Mock me if you will,
but it works.
33
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,900
You show up at a club
in something distinctive,
34
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,100
scope out your target
and toss out some negs.
35
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,600
- What are negs?
- A neg is a negative compliment
36
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,600
that throws a pretty woman
off her game,
37
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,000
like "Normally,
I'm not turned on by big teeth,
38
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,700
but on you, they work."
39
00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:07,100
I got a whole list of 'em.
Who wants to be my wingman?
40
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:10,800
You're not gonna need a wingman.
You're gonna need a paramedic.
41
00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:13,800
Your scooter's blocking my car.
42
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,400
Did you get pinkeye again?
43
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,000
Step one:
she notices the eye patch.
44
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,600
May I say, Penny,
45
00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:25,900
not a lot of women
could look as hot as you do
46
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,500
with such greasy hair?
47
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,200
Just move your stupid scooter
48
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:39,900
before I pick it up
and throw it in the dumpster.
1
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,900
I'm sorry, but I'm not going
to watch The Clone Wars TV series
2
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,200
until I've seen
The Clone Wars movie.
3
00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:22,500
I prefer to let George Lucas
disappoint me in the order he intended.
4
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,900
I want to watch it now.
5
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,000
Then I believe we've arrived
at another quintessential
6
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:31,400
rock-paper-scissors-
lizard-Spock moment.
7
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,800
Watch whatever you want.
8
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,600
I saw what you did there.
9
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,800
What'd I do?
10
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:52,800
What's wrong?
11
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,100
- Okay, we'll be right there.
- What happened?
12
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,600
Howard's at the Mars Rover lab.
He says he's in trouble.
13
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:00,800
Defcon 5.
14
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,100
Defcon 5?
15
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,300
Well, there's no need to rush.
16
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,800
- What?
- Defcon 5 means "no danger."
17
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,400
Defcon 1 is a crisis.
18
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,900
How can 5
not be worse than 1?
19
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:13,900
Star Trek V worse than I.
20
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:19,200
First of all, that's a comparison
of quality, not intensity.
21
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:22,100
Secondly, Star Trek I
is orders-of-magnitude worse
22
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,600
than Star Trek V.
23
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,300
Are you joking?
Star Trek V is the standard
24
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,400
against which all badness
is measured.
25
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:29,400
No, no.
26
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:33,200
Star Trek V has specific failures
in writing and direction,
27
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,200
while Star Trek I
fails across the board:
28
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,000
art direction, costuming,
music, sound editing.
29
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,300
Can we just forget I said Defcon
and go?
30
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,200
Star Trek V.
31
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,700
Will you at least stipulate
32
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,900
that Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
is inarguably the best?
33
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,200
I have three words for you:
Wrath of Khan.
34
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,500
- Thank God, you're here.
- What's the emergency?
35
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,000
I got the Mars Rover
stuck in a ditch.
36
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,000
Where?
37
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:05,500
On a dusty highway
just outside Bakersfield.
38
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,400
Where do you think?
On Mars!
39
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,700
Is everything okay?
40
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:11,900
Yeah, baby, I'll be right in.
41
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,300
You brought a girl
to the Mars Rover control room?
42
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,100
Yeah, I picked her up in the bar.
She's a doctor.
43
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,600
One free barium enema,
44
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:22,900
and my mother won't care
she's not Jewish.
45
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,000
Wait a minute.
So the eye patch and the insults worked?
46
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,700
No, there were three other guys
with eye patches. It was a fiasco.
47
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:36,200
What did work was, "How'd you like
to visit a secret government facility?"
48
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,400
So what exactly
do you want us to do?
49
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:40,500
You and Raj help me
get the Rover out of the ditch
50
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,900
and you get Stephanie out
before somebody notices her.
51
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,000
- She doesn't exactly have clearance.
- Really?
52
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:47,100
They don't let strange
women from honky-tonks
53
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,700
come in and play with $200 million
government projects on distant planets?
54
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,500
Yes, I was bad.
Maybe she'll spank me.
55
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:54,900
Can we please move on?
56
00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,300
It's getting late,
so do I get to drive this thing or what?
57
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,300
No. I'm sorry,
but something's come up.
58
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,000
Kind of a Mars Rover...
59
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,300
Mars Rover
can Howard come over...
60
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:12,400
situation.
61
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,100
So my friend Leonard
is gonna take you home.
62
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,700
Okay. Let's go, friend Leonard.
63
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:24,000
- I'll call ya.
- So are you a scientist like Howard?
64
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,400
No one's a scientist like Howard.
65
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,100
My mother is so gonna love her.
66
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:34,300
How nice. Maybe they can carpool
when they visit you in federal prison.
67
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,600
I'm sorry.
I totally interrupted you.
68
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,000
What were you saying?
69
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,200
Just said Howard's a terrific guy.
70
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:51,100
He's got a great sense of humor.
71
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,500
He loves his mother...
72
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:54,700
a lot.
73
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,400
People say "too much."
74
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,400
I really like
that you're such a loyal friend.
75
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:01,200
Yeah, I am loyal.
76
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,900
If you look at the big picture.
77
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,000
Out of curiosity,
did he ever have a shot with you?
78
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:15,100
Are you insane?
The guy was wearing an eye patch.
79
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,300
Then why did you...?
80
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,000
He said that I could drive a car...
on Mars.
81
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:22,600
Got it.
82
00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:26,300
So, can I see you again?
83
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,900
You're not gonna see me now.
84
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,100
Cool.
85
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,400
Anything?
86
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,700
Actually, I was just
checking my e-mail.
87
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:47,300
But, no,
the Rover is not responding.
88
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,300
I believe the appropriate metaphor here
involves a river of excrement
89
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,900
and a Native American water vessel
without any means of propulsion.
90
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,000
Hang on.
There's got to be other options.
91
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,900
You could try calling Triple-A.
92
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,300
But based on NASA's latest timetable,
they won't get there for 35 years.
93
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,400
Plus I understand
you have to be standing
94
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,100
next to the vehicle
with your card when they arrive.
95
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,200
Oh, snap.
96
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,000
Snap what?
97
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,000
- I guess we have to turn to Plan B.
- What's Plan B?
98
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,900
Erase hard drives,
scrap surveillance tapes,
99
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,700
wipe our fingerprints
off every surface and run.
100
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,600
Why wasn't that Plan A?
101
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,500
A NASA spokesman states
that due to the loss of data,
102
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,500
they will most likely be unable
to determine the cause
103
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,500
of the Mars Rover's malfunction.
104
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:40,400
Thank God for Plan B.
105
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,900
Didn't you say
you worked on the Mars Rover?
106
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,400
No, you're mistaken.
107
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:48,900
When we first met,
108
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,800
you said that if I went out with you,
I could drive a car on Mars.
109
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,800
I don't know
what you're talking about.
110
00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:02,900
Will you all excuse me?
Leonard is subtly signaling
111
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,400
that he'd like
to talk to me in private.
112
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,300
No. I remember specifically.
113
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,400
You started by asking
if I was from Mars
114
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,800
because my ass
was out of this world.
115
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,000
That does sound like me,
but no.
116
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,000
Is there some problem?
117
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:25,700
Listen, I have to kinda
sneak out for a while.
118
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,400
- All right, good-bye.
- No, wait!
119
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:32,000
If anyone asks you where I went,
you don't know.
120
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:35,000
- Where are you going?
- I can't tell you that.
121
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,300
Who would ask me?
122
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:40,500
I can't tell you that, either.
123
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:44,600
You brought me in here to inform me
you can't tell me where you're going
124
00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:47,100
and you can't tell me
who might ask?
125
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:51,600
Yeah, I really didn't
think this through.
126
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,600
- Leonard, a moment.
- What?
127
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:58,300
If someone, and of course,
we don't know who this would be,
128
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,800
does ask where you've gone,
what should I say?
129
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,200
I don't know.
Just tell 'em I went to the office.
130
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,100
- Are you going to the office?
- No.
131
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,100
Then how can I say it convincingly?
132
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,500
Just say,
"Leonard went to the office."
133
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,900
All right.
Leonard went to the office.
134
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,600
What is...? No, not like that!
135
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,500
- Just, "Leonard went to the office."
- It would've worked out a lot better
136
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,800
if you'd just told me
you were going to the office.
137
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,900
I'm going to the office.
138
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:29,900
See? Why don't I believe you?
139
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,000
I'm going out for a while.
140
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,600
Doesn't anyone want to know
where he's going?
141
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:53,900
Okay, where is he going?
142
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,300
Leonard is going to the office.
143
00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:12,900
- So how was work today?
- Busy.
144
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:15,000
I removed an appendix,
a gall bladder
145
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,300
and about a foot
and a half of bowel.
146
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,100
I'm hoping that was
three different guys.
147
00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,000
No, just the one.
148
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,000
He didn't make it.
149
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,300
So, how was your day?
150
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,400
You know, I'm a physicist, so...
I thought about stuff.
151
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,400
That's it?
152
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,000
I wrote some of it down.
153
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,300
- Are you done eating?
- Yeah.
154
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:44,700
Good.
155
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:51,400
If I knew you were waiting,
I would've swallowed that lasagna whole.
156
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,600
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.
Leave a message.
157
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,700
It's me again, Howard.
158
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,000
If you're free Friday,
159
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,600
maybe we could have
a little something to eat at my place.
160
00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:06,600
My mom cooks a hell of a brisket.
161
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:09,600
Let me know.
162
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,100
It's Howard.
163
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,600
I've had her brisket.
Melts in your mouth.
164
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,300
Maybe we should think
about going to the bedroom.
165
00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:24,700
Good idea.
166
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,900
There's a bed in there,
and I'm very, very, very pro-bed.
167
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:34,000
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.
Leave a message.
168
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,700
Hey, it's me again.
169
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,200
Just want to let you know
170
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,100
the head count for dinner Friday
has gone up.
171
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:46,300
My Aunt Betty and Uncle Elliot
are coming in from Palm Springs.
172
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,300
If anybody should ask,
173
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,700
you're half-Jewish
on your mother's side.
174
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,000
Okay, call me.
175
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:54,900
It's Howard.
176
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,400
Don't you think we should tell him
you're not interested?
177
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,300
Do you want me to stop
and call him back right now?
178
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,600
Dear God, no!
179
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,800
You've reached Dr. Stephanie Barnett.
Leave a message.
180
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,400
Hey, it's me again.
181
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,700
My cousins from Fort Lauderdale
are flying in to meet you
182
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,900
so that means we're gonna
have to move the dinner
183
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,400
to a restaurant.
184
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:31,700
Tell her we're going
to the Olive Garden!
185
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,700
I have a coupon from the paper.
186
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:40,000
We're not going
to the Olive Garden, Ma!
187
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,400
Mr. Bigshot with his Red Lobster.
188
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,800
I'll call you back
when we firm up the details.
189
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:51,600
It's Howard.
190
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,800
- New shirts?
- Yeah, a couple.
191
00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:02,300
- Nice.
- Thank you.
192
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,000
So, who's the girl?
193
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,000
I'm sorry?
194
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,000
Well, last time you bought a new shirt
was when we were dating.
195
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,400
So what we did
was in fact dating?
196
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,800
Well, yeah, we did have a date.
197
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,300
Exactly. Thank you.
198
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,700
Do me a favor, tell Koothrappali that
next time you see him.
199
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,800
So, who is she?
200
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,300
- She's a doctor.
- Nice.
201
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,000
A doctor doctor,
or a you kind of doctor?
202
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,200
Doctor doctor.
203
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:35,600
Surgical resident.
204
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,200
Smart, pretty.
205
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,500
Let me ask you something.
206
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,100
If your friend thinks
he's dating someone,
207
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:47,800
but he's not because, in fact,
you're dating her,
208
00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:49,700
does that make you a bad person?
209
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,900
- That depends.
- On what?
210
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:53,900
Is that friend Wolowitz?
211
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,100
Screw him. You're fine.
212
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,100
Are you sure?
213
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,400
Well, have you slept
with her yet?
214
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:07,600
You dog!
215
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:10,900
Good for you.
216
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,500
- Does that change things?
- No.
217
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,900
- So why'd you ask?
- I'm nosy.
218
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,500
See ya.
219
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,400
Howard, get the door!
220
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,800
Really? Is that what you do
when someone knocks?!
221
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,800
Thank you. I had no idea!
222
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:39,100
Hey, buddy. What brings you
to my little slice of hell?
223
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,400
Who is it?!
224
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,200
It's Leonard!
225
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,900
You're gonna have to play outside!
226
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,400
I'm not dressed to receive!
227
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,500
No one cares, Ma!
228
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,100
So, what's up?
229
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,900
Listen, I need to talk to you
about something.
230
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:00,900
Momentito.
231
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:02,900
Yello.
232
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:06,600
Thanks for calling me back.
I was worried...
233
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,800
No, I understand.
234
00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:22,800
Sure, we can be friends.
Absolutely.
235
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,300
Thanks for calling.
236
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,600
You have a nice day, too.
237
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:29,900
You are dead to me.
238
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:38,100
Who gets the extra dumpling?
239
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,400
Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock.
240
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,600
Okay, one of us is going to have
to stop putting up Spock.
241
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,300
How do we decide that?
242
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,100
- Hey, guys.
- Hello.
243
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,500
Hi, Howard.
244
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,000
Howard is employing
a schoolyard paradigm
245
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:15,100
in which you are,
for all intents and purposes, deceased.
246
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:19,300
He intends to act on this
by not speaking to you,
247
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,700
feigning an inability to hear you
when you speak
248
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,600
and otherwise refusing
to acknowledge your existence.
249
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,900
That's just ridiculous.
Why are you cooperating with him?
250
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:30,400
I don't make the rules, Leonard.
251
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,500
Howard, come on.
I didn't plan on this.
252
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:36,100
These things just happen.
253
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,600
Usually not to me,
but they do happen.
254
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:42,500
Did someone just feel
a cold breeze?
255
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,100
I believe this is an extension
of the death metaphor.
256
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,600
The cold breeze is the so-called
ectoplasmic issue
257
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,600
of a disembodied soul passing by.
258
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,400
Screw it.
I'm just gonna eat the dumpling.
259
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,700
- Come on in.
- Is this a bad time?
260
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,000
Yes, but I don't see
a better one on the horizon.
261
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
If it isn't Mrs. Dead to Me.
262
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:16,100
I'm sorry, you violated
the terms of your metaphor
263
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,300
by acknowledging her existence.
I'm out.
264
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,000
He just won't listen to me.
265
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:24,900
Okay, I guess it'll just be
the three of us then.
266
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:27,400
Lisa's gonna be disappointed.
267
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:29,100
Lisa?
268
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:32,600
My roommate. She just went through
a really bad breakup,
269
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,500
I thought she might like
to meet somebody fun like you.
270
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,800
Leonard, Stephanie,
you're alive!
271
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,200
It's a miracle!
1
00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:46,100
So, anyway, Lisa,
I just wanted to tell you again
2
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,100
how much I enjoyed the other night,
3
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,400
and again,
I'm sorry for how it ended.
4
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,100
But again, if you could
let me know about Friday.
5
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,600
My mother needs a head count
6
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,900
so she can know
how big a brisket to get.
7
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:01,500
Howard, look at this.
8
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,700
Anyway, call me.
9
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,100
It's Howard.
10
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:09,000
It's unclear how the Mars Rover
got into the crevice,
11
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,900
but one thing's certain:
12
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,600
the data which it has sent back
13
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,900
contain the first clear indications
14
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,200
that there may have been
life on Mars.
15
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:20,900
It's a scientific discovery
16
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,700
that has staggering implications
for all mankind.
17
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,300
Unfortunately, we'll never know
who's responsible.
18
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,400
Son of a bitch.