1 00:00:00,589 --> 00:00:01,915 Penny, hello. 2 00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:03,853 Hey, Sheldon. 3 00:00:04,332 --> 00:00:05,639 What is shaking? 4 00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:09,575 I'm sorry? 5 00:00:09,829 --> 00:00:11,931 It's colloquial, a conversation opener. 6 00:00:13,707 --> 00:00:16,083 So, do you find the weather satisfying? 7 00:00:16,203 --> 00:00:19,850 Are you currently sharing in the triumph of some local sports team? 8 00:00:20,898 --> 00:00:23,443 What's wrong with you? You're freaking me out. 9 00:00:23,906 --> 00:00:26,756 I'm striking up a casual conversation with you. 10 00:00:26,966 --> 00:00:27,966 S'up? 11 00:00:33,409 --> 00:00:34,959 Please don't do that. 12 00:00:35,449 --> 00:00:38,241 All right, but I'm given to understand that when you have something awkward 13 00:00:38,361 --> 00:00:39,594 to discuss with someone, 14 00:00:39,714 --> 00:00:42,044 it's more palatable to preface it with banal chit chat. 15 00:00:44,037 --> 00:00:46,187 So, this wasn't the awkward part? 16 00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,123 All right. 17 00:00:54,545 --> 00:00:55,545 S'up? 18 00:00:57,644 --> 00:00:59,471 Oh, good, I used that right. 19 00:01:00,612 --> 00:01:04,742 Anyway, you're aware that Leonard has entered into a new romantic relationship 20 00:01:04,862 --> 00:01:07,112 which includes a sexual component? 21 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,290 Okay, feeling the awkward now. 22 00:01:13,989 --> 00:01:15,566 Her name is Dr. Stephanie Barnett 23 00:01:15,686 --> 00:01:18,956 and she is a highly distinguished surgical resident at Freemont Memorial. 24 00:01:19,117 --> 00:01:20,505 - Leonard told me. - Good. 25 00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:24,623 What he may have left out is how important this relationship is to me. 26 00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:27,882 To you? 27 00:01:28,192 --> 00:01:30,951 See, of the handful of women Leonard's been involved with, 28 00:01:31,071 --> 00:01:33,921 she's the only one I have ever found tolerable. 29 00:01:38,949 --> 00:01:40,399 Well, what about me? 30 00:01:41,385 --> 00:01:43,499 The statement stands for itself. 31 00:01:45,821 --> 00:01:47,068 Aren't you sweet? 32 00:01:47,263 --> 00:01:49,638 Anyway, should you have any interaction with her, 33 00:01:49,758 --> 00:01:53,184 it would be most helpful that she not see you as a sexual rival. 34 00:01:55,672 --> 00:01:57,856 Yeah, I think she's pretty safe. 35 00:01:58,323 --> 00:02:01,152 You say that now, but consider the following scenario: 36 00:02:01,272 --> 00:02:04,216 You're sitting in your apartment, it's late, you're alone. 37 00:02:04,336 --> 00:02:08,110 Your hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen and progesterone 38 00:02:08,892 --> 00:02:10,675 and suddenly even Leonard 39 00:02:10,841 --> 00:02:13,177 seems like a viable sexual candidate. 40 00:02:15,383 --> 00:02:16,474 Or a "hookup" 41 00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:19,244 as it's referred to by today's urban youth. 42 00:02:19,658 --> 00:02:22,187 - Really? - Yes. Now, should that happen, 43 00:02:22,307 --> 00:02:25,368 I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido. 44 00:02:28,829 --> 00:02:30,590 I could think about you. 45 00:02:33,788 --> 00:02:35,338 Fine, whatever works. 46 00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:39,768 Always nice talking to you, Sheldon. 47 00:02:39,987 --> 00:02:41,137 Peace out! 48 00:03:04,031 --> 00:03:05,581 Subtitles: sub-way.fr 49 00:03:17,347 --> 00:03:18,897 This is very pleasant. 50 00:03:20,866 --> 00:03:22,860 Glad you're enjoying yourself. 51 00:03:23,075 --> 00:03:26,244 And you said there'd never be enough pasta for the three of us. 52 00:03:26,851 --> 00:03:28,201 I stand corrected. 53 00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:31,171 You know, Italian housewives have a rule of thumb. 54 00:03:31,291 --> 00:03:34,052 A handful of dry pasta about an inch in diameter 55 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,800 is sufficient for each person 56 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,270 as it doubles in volume when cooked. 57 00:03:39,433 --> 00:03:41,355 - That's very interesting. - Thank you. 58 00:03:41,475 --> 00:03:44,198 She doesn't mean it. She's just being nice. 59 00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:50,183 Well, since Leonard seems to be dropping the conversational ball, 60 00:03:50,303 --> 00:03:52,360 I guess I'll just have to pick it up. 61 00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:02,420 Have you ever witnessed a violent crime? 62 00:04:05,249 --> 00:04:06,407 - No. - Good. 63 00:04:06,785 --> 00:04:08,356 What's your favorite fruit? 64 00:04:09,981 --> 00:04:11,003 Strawberries. 65 00:04:11,192 --> 00:04:13,942 Technically not a fruit, but all right. 66 00:04:15,525 --> 00:04:17,469 Where did you do your medical internship? 67 00:04:17,629 --> 00:04:19,804 Lawrence Memorial in Galveston, Texas. 68 00:04:20,071 --> 00:04:21,973 Really? That's where I was born! 69 00:04:24,702 --> 00:04:25,977 You're kidding! 70 00:04:26,138 --> 00:04:28,848 I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital. 71 00:04:29,203 --> 00:04:32,149 When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter. 72 00:04:32,886 --> 00:04:35,200 - Why, what happened? - Radiation burns. 73 00:04:36,368 --> 00:04:39,157 A little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner. 74 00:04:39,901 --> 00:04:42,576 I'm sorry, you tried to build your own CAT scanner? 75 00:04:42,881 --> 00:04:44,704 No, I didn't try, I succeeded. 76 00:04:45,146 --> 00:04:47,215 In fact, I was briefly able to see the inside 77 00:04:47,335 --> 00:04:50,601 of my sister's guinea pig, Snowball, before he caught fire. 78 00:04:51,622 --> 00:04:53,773 It led to an interesting expression in our house: 79 00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:56,430 "Not a Snowball's chance in a CAT scanner." 80 00:05:01,174 --> 00:05:02,180 Excuse me. 81 00:05:03,224 --> 00:05:04,640 When I come back, just for fun, 82 00:05:04,849 --> 00:05:06,607 the subject will be alternative history. 83 00:05:06,727 --> 00:05:09,360 Specifically, how would the Civil War have gone differently 84 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,148 if Lincoln had been a robot sent from the future? 85 00:05:17,486 --> 00:05:20,136 Look at that, there's even pasta left over. 86 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,617 Do you understand that this was supposed to be a date? 87 00:05:23,779 --> 00:05:26,385 I do. Do you? Because frankly, 88 00:05:26,505 --> 00:05:28,582 you've been in a foul mood since I sat down. 89 00:05:32,183 --> 00:05:35,697 Okay, here's my question. Why did you sit down? 90 00:05:37,241 --> 00:05:40,280 To help. Look, if you fail at this relationship, 91 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,136 and history suggests you will, 92 00:05:43,772 --> 00:05:45,668 then we risk losing the medical officer 93 00:05:45,788 --> 00:05:48,173 that our landing party has always needed. 94 00:05:51,065 --> 00:05:52,515 What landing party? 95 00:05:54,314 --> 00:05:56,696 You're Kirk, I'm Spock, Wolowitz is Scotty, 96 00:05:56,816 --> 00:05:59,612 Koothrappali is the guy who always gets killed... 97 00:06:01,698 --> 00:06:03,407 and now we've got McCoy. 98 00:06:11,782 --> 00:06:14,877 So, we're all standing around looking at the post-op X ray 99 00:06:15,145 --> 00:06:18,447 and there it is, clear as day, right in the guy's chest cavity... 100 00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:20,155 one of my earrings. 101 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:24,048 Oh, my God, what did you do? 102 00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:25,881 What do you think I did? 103 00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:27,964 I discreetly slipped off the other earring, 104 00:06:28,084 --> 00:06:31,218 put it in my pocket and then got the hell out of there! 105 00:06:32,149 --> 00:06:34,302 I have a bone to pick with you, sir. 106 00:06:36,217 --> 00:06:37,157 Hi, Sheldon. 107 00:06:37,277 --> 00:06:38,908 Hi, Stephanie. I'm sorry I'm late, 108 00:06:39,028 --> 00:06:42,378 but your companion left the most indecipherable invitation. 109 00:06:42,957 --> 00:06:44,281 What invitation? 110 00:06:46,045 --> 00:06:48,047 "We're going to the movies." 111 00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:50,572 What movie? What theater? What time? 112 00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:54,552 If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you, 113 00:06:54,672 --> 00:06:56,768 you couldn't have done a better job. 114 00:06:57,136 --> 00:06:58,574 Clearly I could have. 115 00:07:00,124 --> 00:07:03,104 It took me nearly 20 minutes to browse the history on your computer 116 00:07:03,224 --> 00:07:05,426 to see what movie times you looked up. 117 00:07:06,541 --> 00:07:08,055 Wait here, I'll find us seats. 118 00:07:08,407 --> 00:07:10,797 - We have seats. - Not the right seats. 119 00:07:22,102 --> 00:07:23,421 What is he doing? 120 00:07:23,541 --> 00:07:25,891 He's finding the acoustic sweet spot. 121 00:07:30,490 --> 00:07:31,986 Does he always do this? 122 00:07:32,106 --> 00:07:34,456 Sometimes he brings a toy xylophone. 123 00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:43,751 I am really sorry about this. 124 00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:46,238 No, it's fine. You know, he's sweet. 125 00:07:54,363 --> 00:07:57,413 My apologies, you've been sitting in it all along. 126 00:07:57,678 --> 00:08:00,880 - You want to slide over one? - No, just sit here. 127 00:08:16,786 --> 00:08:18,424 Oh, yeah, this is it. 128 00:08:25,435 --> 00:08:26,360 What, Sheldon? 129 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,472 What, Sheldon?! What, Sheldon?! 130 00:08:29,691 --> 00:08:31,328 Tell me what you see here. 131 00:08:31,448 --> 00:08:34,763 The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial? 132 00:08:35,466 --> 00:08:37,331 This is Stephanie's Facebook page. 133 00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:40,522 Now, where it should say "in a relationship," what does it say? 134 00:08:40,745 --> 00:08:42,272 "Stephanie Barnett is single." 135 00:08:42,392 --> 00:08:44,160 Furthermore, earlier this evening, 136 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,152 she threw a digital sheep at some guy named Mike. 137 00:08:49,818 --> 00:08:50,716 Who's Mike?! 138 00:08:50,836 --> 00:08:53,494 Why does he get a digital sheep and not you? 139 00:08:53,940 --> 00:08:55,861 It's just her Facebook page 140 00:08:55,981 --> 00:08:58,064 and we've only been going out a couple of weeks. 141 00:08:58,184 --> 00:09:00,647 You don't see it, do you? We're losing her. 142 00:09:04,481 --> 00:09:06,470 I'm going to make this very simple for you. 143 00:09:06,590 --> 00:09:09,428 You are not in this relationship. 144 00:09:10,798 --> 00:09:12,428 I am. 145 00:09:12,863 --> 00:09:15,987 Ergo, you have no say 146 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:19,351 in anything that happens between me and Stephanie. 147 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,653 I'm afraid I can't allow that. 148 00:09:24,394 --> 00:09:26,299 Pursuant to Starfleet General Order 104, 149 00:09:26,419 --> 00:09:28,025 Section A: You are deemed unfit 150 00:09:28,145 --> 00:09:30,591 and I hereby relieve you of your command. 151 00:09:33,654 --> 00:09:36,538 General Order 104, Section A does not apply in this situation. 152 00:09:36,862 --> 00:09:40,342 - Give me one good reason why not. - Because this is not Star Trek! 153 00:09:51,407 --> 00:09:52,407 What? 154 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,292 This is banana bread. 155 00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,298 This is a door knob. 156 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:03,355 It's my understanding that an unsolicited gift of food 157 00:10:03,475 --> 00:10:05,758 can be a precursor to an impromptu invitation 158 00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,299 to come in and chat. 159 00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:12,240 Would you like to come in? 160 00:10:12,409 --> 00:10:14,908 I suppose I could spare a few minutes. 161 00:10:18,810 --> 00:10:20,183 Were you robbed? 162 00:10:24,522 --> 00:10:25,944 How can you be sure? 163 00:10:27,182 --> 00:10:28,390 What do you want? 164 00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:31,211 I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you, 165 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:34,093 but Leonard is failing in yet another relationship. 166 00:10:34,473 --> 00:10:37,366 - He's having problems with Stephanie? - She's sending virtual livestock 167 00:10:37,486 --> 00:10:39,224 to random men on the Internet. 168 00:10:40,115 --> 00:10:42,644 If I have any hope of keeping them together, I need data. 169 00:10:42,815 --> 00:10:45,862 Specifically, I need to know exactly what Leonard did 170 00:10:45,982 --> 00:10:48,906 that caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks. 171 00:10:51,668 --> 00:10:53,823 - What? - Again, urban slang. 172 00:10:53,943 --> 00:10:56,390 In which, I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency. 173 00:10:58,023 --> 00:11:00,216 So, what is the "down" and the "low"? 174 00:11:00,541 --> 00:11:02,760 And don't worry, this is all entirely confidential, 175 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,029 so, you feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom. 176 00:11:07,454 --> 00:11:09,099 We never got to the bedroom. 177 00:11:09,842 --> 00:11:10,858 Because? 178 00:11:14,413 --> 00:11:17,429 All right, you know what? I'll tell you what happened. 179 00:11:19,273 --> 00:11:20,501 We were young, 180 00:11:20,876 --> 00:11:22,268 we were very much in love, 181 00:11:22,388 --> 00:11:23,973 but we could only communicate 182 00:11:24,093 --> 00:11:26,913 through a time-traveling mailbox at my lake house. 183 00:11:31,745 --> 00:11:33,735 It's not enough that you made me watch that movie, 184 00:11:33,855 --> 00:11:35,480 but now you mock me with it? 185 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,578 Gentlemen, I have a question 186 00:11:41,749 --> 00:11:43,831 about dating and relationships. 187 00:11:49,488 --> 00:11:52,005 You told me you were going to have the talk with him. 188 00:11:53,292 --> 00:11:55,749 I've been waiting for someone to have the talk with me. 189 00:11:56,889 --> 00:11:58,728 More to the point, it's about finding a way 190 00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,514 to keep Leonard and Stephanie together. 191 00:12:00,684 --> 00:12:01,932 I don't think you can. 192 00:12:02,102 --> 00:12:03,151 Why not? 193 00:12:03,312 --> 00:12:06,328 Look at Leonard's record. 27 days with Joyce Kim. 194 00:12:06,448 --> 00:12:08,742 During which she defected to North Korea. 195 00:12:10,361 --> 00:12:12,236 Two booty calls with Leslie Winkle. 196 00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:15,112 For which she awarded him the nickname "Speed of Light Leonard." 197 00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:19,792 - And the three hour dinner with Penny. - Which would have been two and a half 198 00:12:19,912 --> 00:12:22,249 if they ordered the souffle when they sat down. 199 00:12:22,998 --> 00:12:24,653 Based on the geometric progression, 200 00:12:24,773 --> 00:12:27,800 his relationship with Stephanie should have ended after 20 minutes. 201 00:12:28,379 --> 00:12:32,035 Yes, I'm aware of the math. Y equals 27 days over 12 to the nth. 202 00:12:32,155 --> 00:12:33,755 The issue remains. 203 00:12:34,935 --> 00:12:37,342 How do we circumvent his inevitable rejection? 204 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,896 If you want to guarantee his appeal to Stephanie, 205 00:12:40,016 --> 00:12:43,131 your best bet would be to kill all the other men on the planet. 206 00:12:45,354 --> 00:12:47,952 Here's what you shouldn't do. Don't shpritz him with that body spray 207 00:12:48,072 --> 00:12:50,407 from the commercial where the women undress when they smell it. 208 00:12:50,527 --> 00:12:52,011 That doesn't work at all. 209 00:12:55,590 --> 00:12:57,296 No matter how much you put on. 210 00:12:59,243 --> 00:13:01,193 That's all you've got? Apocalyptic genocide 211 00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:02,858 and "go easy on the cologne"? 212 00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:13,443 What? 213 00:13:25,357 --> 00:13:26,612 Zucchini bread. 214 00:13:28,423 --> 00:13:29,947 - Thank you. - May I come in? 215 00:13:32,151 --> 00:13:32,970 I see. 216 00:13:33,090 --> 00:13:35,448 Apparently, my earlier inquiry regarding you and Leonard 217 00:13:35,568 --> 00:13:36,902 crossed some sort of line. 218 00:13:38,073 --> 00:13:39,196 I apologize. 219 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,323 Well, thank you. 220 00:13:41,663 --> 00:13:43,742 Have you and I returned to a social equilibrium? 221 00:13:43,912 --> 00:13:45,244 - Yes. - Great. 222 00:13:45,414 --> 00:13:46,414 New topic. 223 00:13:46,982 --> 00:13:49,358 Where are you in your menstrual cycle? 224 00:13:52,769 --> 00:13:53,710 What?! 225 00:13:53,881 --> 00:13:57,330 I've been doing some research online, and apparently, female primates, 226 00:13:57,450 --> 00:13:59,800 you know, apes, chimpanzees, you... 227 00:14:01,461 --> 00:14:04,763 They find their mate more desirable when he's courted by another female. 228 00:14:04,934 --> 00:14:08,333 Now, this effect is intensified when the rival female is secreting 229 00:14:08,453 --> 00:14:10,487 the pheromones associated with ovulation. 230 00:14:10,648 --> 00:14:12,942 Which brings me back to my question. Where are you... 231 00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:18,398 Clearly, I'm 14 days too early. 232 00:14:21,655 --> 00:14:24,904 All I'm saying is if they can cure yellow fever and malaria, 233 00:14:25,024 --> 00:14:27,701 why can't they do something about lactose intolerance? 234 00:14:30,017 --> 00:14:32,020 Leonard, you're going to have to let this go. 235 00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:35,459 You had a little cheese dip, you farted. I thought it was cute. 236 00:14:41,391 --> 00:14:43,625 - You want some more wine? - Yeah, I mean... 237 00:14:43,745 --> 00:14:45,846 I assume I'm not driving anywhere tonight. 238 00:14:58,377 --> 00:14:59,657 What are you doing? 239 00:15:00,155 --> 00:15:01,973 I have a craving for white asparagus 240 00:15:02,093 --> 00:15:04,367 that apparently is destined to go unsatisfied. 241 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,461 Excuse me. 242 00:15:14,253 --> 00:15:16,710 - What is wrong with you? - I'm helping you with Stephanie. 243 00:15:16,881 --> 00:15:19,089 By making constipated moose sounds? 244 00:15:20,591 --> 00:15:22,709 When I fail to open this jar and you succeed, 245 00:15:22,829 --> 00:15:24,718 it will establish you as the "alpha" male. 246 00:15:24,889 --> 00:15:26,511 You see... when a female 247 00:15:26,683 --> 00:15:28,767 witnesses an exhibition of physical domination, 248 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,620 she produces the hormone oxytocin. 249 00:15:30,740 --> 00:15:32,558 If the two of you then engage in intercourse, 250 00:15:32,678 --> 00:15:34,963 this will create the biochemical reaction in the brain 251 00:15:35,083 --> 00:15:37,837 which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love." 252 00:15:43,255 --> 00:15:45,622 Would it work if I just punched you in the face? 253 00:15:47,326 --> 00:15:49,762 Yes, actually it would, but let's see how the lid goes. 254 00:15:51,081 --> 00:15:53,789 I'm not strong enough, Leonard, you'll have to do it. 255 00:15:55,199 --> 00:15:58,053 - For God's sakes. - Go ahead, it's pre-loosened. 256 00:16:12,753 --> 00:16:14,184 You want some help with that? 257 00:16:17,133 --> 00:16:18,133 I got it. 258 00:16:18,638 --> 00:16:20,588 He's got it, and that's not surprising. 259 00:16:20,708 --> 00:16:22,541 It's something I long ago came to peace with 260 00:16:22,661 --> 00:16:24,354 in my role as the beta male. 261 00:16:27,198 --> 00:16:28,198 Open it. 262 00:16:36,499 --> 00:16:38,041 - Are you okay? - No, I'm not. 263 00:16:38,212 --> 00:16:40,178 - I'm bleeding. - Like a gladiator! 264 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:45,298 - Honey, you're going to need stitches. - Stitches? With a needle? 265 00:16:45,941 --> 00:16:47,592 Well, yeah, I mean, just a few. 266 00:16:49,898 --> 00:16:51,096 Yeah, hang on a sec. 267 00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:04,028 FYI, I was defrosting a steak in there. 268 00:17:08,519 --> 00:17:10,834 What a beautiful job Stephanie did. 269 00:17:11,829 --> 00:17:14,351 I might have gone with a mattress suture instead of a blanket stitch, 270 00:17:14,471 --> 00:17:16,121 but you can't argue with her results. 271 00:17:16,707 --> 00:17:18,331 It's a shame it won't scar. 272 00:17:18,451 --> 00:17:21,958 The war wound is a time-honored badge of masculinity. 273 00:17:24,029 --> 00:17:26,953 I can't remember a time when you weren't talking. 274 00:17:28,446 --> 00:17:31,577 Just for the record, my efforts to establish you as the alpha male 275 00:17:31,697 --> 00:17:33,630 were not aided by you bursting into tears. 276 00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:35,352 I did not burst into tears, 277 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,309 my eyes just got a little watery. 278 00:17:37,479 --> 00:17:38,479 Watery? 279 00:17:38,948 --> 00:17:41,403 She stuck a needle into my hand! 280 00:17:42,719 --> 00:17:44,628 Hey, how's my big cry baby? 281 00:17:46,609 --> 00:17:47,694 I didn't cry. 282 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,421 I'm just teasing you. 283 00:17:50,759 --> 00:17:51,948 But, yeah, you did. 284 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:56,161 It's all good. What do you say we get you home and put you to bed? 285 00:17:56,516 --> 00:17:58,369 Are you still going to spend the night? 286 00:17:58,966 --> 00:18:00,957 No, I think that you probably need to rest. 287 00:18:01,128 --> 00:18:04,564 She's right. As long as you're vomiting, coitus is contra-indicated. 288 00:18:06,116 --> 00:18:08,086 Thank you, Dr. Cooper. 289 00:18:08,719 --> 00:18:10,746 You're welcome, Dr. Hofstadter. 290 00:18:14,070 --> 00:18:16,470 Okay, I'm going to go get your discharge papers. 291 00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:20,602 What? 292 00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:23,282 You seem like a perfectly pleasant person. 293 00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:26,759 I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you. 294 00:18:34,515 --> 00:18:36,099 Can you open this for me? 295 00:18:36,738 --> 00:18:38,785 - Can I see your stitches? - Sure. 296 00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:46,395 Answering the question once and for all 297 00:18:46,515 --> 00:18:48,710 why Wolowitz bailed out of medical school. 298 00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:52,511 - Leonard, congratulations. - What for? 299 00:18:52,671 --> 00:18:54,363 Your Facebook status update. 300 00:18:54,483 --> 00:18:57,472 Leonard Hofstadter is "in a relationship." 301 00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,804 What? No, that's not right. 302 00:19:00,425 --> 00:19:03,593 Oh, man, did you switch your status before she did? 303 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:07,979 Speaking as an expert, way to look needy. 304 00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:12,085 Seriously? You went first, after only two weeks? 305 00:19:12,430 --> 00:19:13,790 That's bold... 306 00:19:14,261 --> 00:19:16,149 It's not bold, it's a mistake. 307 00:19:16,269 --> 00:19:18,098 I didn't change my status. 308 00:19:18,218 --> 00:19:19,673 Well, then who did? 309 00:19:24,635 --> 00:19:27,213 I had no choice. He cried in front of her. 310 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,339 You hacked my Facebook account? 311 00:19:31,855 --> 00:19:32,992 It's hardly hacking 312 00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:36,018 when you use the same password for everything, "Kal-El." 313 00:19:37,841 --> 00:19:40,765 Are you insane? Now she's going to think I'm desperate. 314 00:19:40,928 --> 00:19:44,875 You've destroyed this relationship! And you know what the worst part is? 315 00:19:44,995 --> 00:19:47,229 You don't even understand what you did wrong 316 00:19:47,349 --> 00:19:50,817 because you can't conceive of something that you are not an expert in! 317 00:19:51,704 --> 00:19:54,114 - In which I am not an expert. - Don't even! 318 00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:59,576 I don't want to hear another word out of you. 319 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,783 What's wrong, Lassie? Timmy fall down the well? 320 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,173 She just updated her Facebook status. 321 00:20:13,562 --> 00:20:15,856 "Stephanie Barnett is in a relationship 322 00:20:15,976 --> 00:20:17,677 "with Leonard Hofstadter." 323 00:20:19,056 --> 00:20:20,056 Really? 324 00:20:23,057 --> 00:20:24,060 Look at that. 325 00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:25,676 I have a girlfriend. 326 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,644 If I am permitted to speak again, 327 00:20:28,764 --> 00:20:31,207 Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win.