1
00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:03,001
Sheldon, you're wrong.
2
00:00:03,067 --> 00:00:06,134
Wolverine was not born with bone claws.
Howard,
3
00:00:06,201 --> 00:00:07,834
you know me to be
a very smart man.
4
00:00:07,867 --> 00:00:11,834
Don't you think
if I were wrong, I'd know it?
5
00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,734
Okay, first of all...
Give it up, dude.
6
00:00:13,767 --> 00:00:16,267
You're arguing
with a crazy person.
7
00:00:16,334 --> 00:00:17,667
I'm not crazy.
8
00:00:17,734 --> 00:00:19,267
My mother had me tested.
9
00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:22,667
Hey, guys.
What are you doing here?
10
00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:24,567
What do you mean?
It's new comic book night.
11
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,567
Yeah, but since you and Penny
finally hooked up, we thought
12
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:30,234
you two would be having
bouncy naked yum-y night.
13
00:00:30,301 --> 00:00:33,067
There's more to life
than sex, Raj.
14
00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,267
Okay, who had "Leonard flames out
with Penny in less than 24 hours"?
15
00:00:35,334 --> 00:00:37,468
I did.
16
00:00:37,533 --> 00:00:39,134
Nothing flamed out.
17
00:00:39,201 --> 00:00:41,134
We don't have to have sex
every night, you know.
18
00:00:41,201 --> 00:00:45,134
You don't have to,
but it's highly recommended.
19
00:00:45,201 --> 00:00:47,468
Yeah, take advantage
of that window of opportunity
20
00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:50,600
before it slams shut
on your little dinky.
21
00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:52,667
It's not a matter
of opportunity.
22
00:00:52,734 --> 00:00:54,001
We're getting to know
each other.
23
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:55,600
There's a learning curve.
24
00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:56,700
What's there to learn?
25
00:00:56,767 --> 00:00:58,267
You get naked, do nasty
things to each other,
26
00:00:58,301 --> 00:01:00,134
then somebody makes
scrambled eggs and salami.
27
00:01:00,201 --> 00:01:01,368
Easy peasy.
28
00:01:01,434 --> 00:01:02,700
Perhaps what Leonard
29
00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:04,334
is oblique referring to
30
00:01:04,434 --> 00:01:06,767
is the occurrence of some sort
of sexual dysfunction.
31
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:10,267
Okay, who had
"Leonard gets a floppy disk"?
32
00:01:10,301 --> 00:01:12,800
Oh, a clever--
albeit obsolete, euphemism
33
00:01:12,867 --> 00:01:15,334
for insufficient blood flow to
the male sex organ.
34
00:01:15,401 --> 00:01:17,667
(singsongy chuckle)
35
00:01:17,734 --> 00:01:19,700
Nothing like that happened,
all right?
36
00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:21,834
The sex was... just fine.
37
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,867
Just fine?
38
00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:28,001
Oh, dude, the fourth Harry
Potter movie was "just fine."
39
00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:29,967
I'm not saying it was bad.
40
00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:32,633
I'm just saying it...
wasn't great.
41
00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:33,767
Okay, when you say
"it wasn'great,"
42
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,034
do you mean for both of you?
43
00:01:35,101 --> 00:01:37,034
Because we can totally see
it not being great for her.
44
00:01:37,101 --> 00:01:38,567
Am I right?
Oh, yeah.
45
00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:41,234
To tell you the truth,
I think we were both a little--
46
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:42,301
I don't know...
47
00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:43,700
Disappointed? Let down?
48
00:01:43,767 --> 00:01:45,767
Ashamed? Horrified?
Repulsed?
49
00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:49,034
All I know is, it wasn't the way
I dreamed it would be.
50
00:01:49,101 --> 00:01:53,834
Sex is never the way
I dream it's gonna be.
51
00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:56,001
That's because
in your dreams,
52
00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:58,600
you're a horse
from the waist down.
53
00:01:59,633 --> 00:02:02,533
Excuse me,
Wolverine: Origin.
54
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,567
Miniseries issue two, page2.
55
00:02:05,633 --> 00:02:07,500
Retractable bone claws.
56
00:02:07,567 --> 00:02:09,834
If you people spent less time
thinking about sex
57
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:11,734
and more time concentrating
on comic books,
58
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,934
we'd have far fewer of these
embarrassing moments.
59
00:02:16,301 --> 00:02:19,633
* Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state *
60
00:02:19,734 --> 00:02:23,101
* Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! *
61
00:02:23,134 --> 00:02:24,667
* The Earth began to cool
62
00:02:24,734 --> 00:02:27,900
* The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developedools *
63
00:02:27,967 --> 00:02:30,067
* We built the Wall
* We built the pyramids *
64
00:02:30,134 --> 00:02:32,600
* Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery *
65
00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:34,167
* That all started
with a big ban*
66
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,501
Sheldon, dinner's here.
67
00:02:44,568 --> 00:02:46,434
Tandoori Palace?
68
00:02:46,468 --> 00:02:48,034
No, we went somewhere new.
69
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,301
You're good naturedly
ribbing me, aren't you?
70
00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:56,434
No, look, Mumbai Palace.
71
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,227
Why?
72
00:02:57,233 --> 00:02:58,901
Why would we change?
73
00:02:58,968 --> 00:02:59,900
We had a perfectly good palace.
74
00:02:59,934 --> 00:03:02,867
Tandoori Palace is our palace.
75
00:03:02,934 --> 00:03:04,501
Trust me, this will be
just fine.
76
00:03:04,568 --> 00:03:05,501
(scoffs)
77
00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:06,733
You are the authority
78
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:09,667
on "just fine."
79
00:03:11,668 --> 00:03:12,668
What's that supposed to mean?
80
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,468
What's "Not bad, but not great"?
81
00:03:15,534 --> 00:03:16,700
(stifled chuckles)
82
00:03:17,834 --> 00:03:19,468
What are they talking about?
83
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:21,234
I don't know.
I know.
84
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:22,334
As I'm sure you're aware...
Duh-duh-duh-duh-
85
00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:23,934
duh-duh.
86
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,800
If that's Morse code,
that's terrible.
87
00:03:28,134 --> 00:03:29,468
As I was saying,
you and Leonard had
88
00:03:29,534 --> 00:03:30,967
a disappointing
sexual encounter.
89
00:03:31,034 --> 00:03:32,101
Earlier this evening,
90
00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:34,267
Leonard characterized it
as "just fine."
91
00:03:34,334 --> 00:03:35,733
So what you're seeing
here is a continuation
92
00:03:35,767 --> 00:03:37,967
of the mocking that followed.
93
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:41,800
Okay, yeah, well,
94
00:03:41,867 --> 00:03:43,501
I'm just gonna go
eat my dinner elsewhe.
95
00:03:43,568 --> 00:03:45,667
Maybe an airplane
headed for a mountainside.
96
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,733
Penny, wait.
97
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,201
Aah!
98
00:03:50,267 --> 00:03:52,700
What is wrong with you?
99
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:55,967
(door slams)
100
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,501
I sense I may have crossed
some sort of line.
101
00:03:59,568 --> 00:04:02,034
Yeah, you...
No, don't tell him.
102
00:04:02,101 --> 00:04:05,267
Let's see if he can
figure it out.
103
00:04:09,534 --> 00:04:11,800
Ugh, I am so embarrassed!
104
00:04:11,867 --> 00:04:13,000
Please don't be mad
105
00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:14,267
What did you tell them?
106
00:04:14,334 --> 00:04:17,101
Nothing bad, just that last night
was fine.
107
00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:19,501
Fine? You said it was fine?
108
00:04:19,568 --> 00:04:21,700
Yeah, it's a perfectly
good word.
109
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,534
You put it in front
of "wine" or "dining,"
110
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,934
and you've really got something.
111
00:04:29,167 --> 00:04:32,301
Okay, well, let me ask you this:
112
00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:34,034
How was last night for you?
113
00:04:34,101 --> 00:04:37,867
It was... okay.
114
00:04:37,934 --> 00:04:39,834
Okay.
115
00:04:39,867 --> 00:04:42,301
Yeah, it's a perfectly
good word.
116
00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,334
I mean, you put it in front of "okay
117
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,167
you really got something.
118
00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:49,034
All right, look,
let's not overreact, you know
119
00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:50,468
For a lot of couples,
it takes time
120
00:04:50,534 --> 00:04:52,067
to get to know
each other's rhythms.
121
00:04:52,134 --> 00:04:54,201
Learn what the other person
was and likes.
122
00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:56,167
So, you've been
through this before?
123
00:04:56,234 --> 00:04:57,534
No.
124
00:04:59,334 --> 00:05:01,334
Okay-dokay.
125
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:05,201
You know, I think this is
one of those things where
126
00:05:05,234 --> 00:05:06,767
talking about it is not
going to make it better.
127
00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:07,867
Want a glass of wine?
128
00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:10,167
So much.
Okay
129
00:05:10,201 --> 00:05:12,034
See, we should've
do this last night.
130
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,967
You know, have a little wine,
take the edge off.
131
00:05:15,034 --> 00:05:17,767
Actually, ethyl alcohol
inhibits electrical conduction
132
00:05:17,867 --> 00:05:20,633
in the nerve cells and
stimulates reuptake receptors
133
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:25,900
of inhibitory neurotramitters
like gamma-aminobutyric acid.
134
00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:30,834
Don't talk, just drink.
135
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,867
No, you're misunderstanding.
136
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:38,267
A shiksa goddess
isn't an actual goddess.
137
00:05:38,334 --> 00:05:40,934
And we don't pray to them.
138
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,568
We prey on them.
139
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,101
Whatever, dude.
140
00:05:45,201 --> 00:05:47,900
The point is, Leonard's
got one and you don't.
141
00:05:47,967 --> 00:05:49,934
Is this it?
142
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,867
It was inappropriate to discuss
Leonard and Penny's sex life
143
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:54,367
in front of Leonard and Penny.
144
00:05:54,434 --> 00:05:57,900
Oh, good!
145
00:05:57,934 --> 00:05:59,101
(sighs with relief)
146
00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:00,633
Now I can eat.
147
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,934
(cricket chirping)
148
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,834
What's that?
149
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,334
Sounds like a cricket.
Hang on.
150
00:06:11,401 --> 00:06:15,733
(cricket chirping)
151
00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:17,434
Based on the number
of chirps per minute
152
00:06:17,468 --> 00:06:18,867
and the ambient temperature
in this room,
153
00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:21,967
it is a snowy tree cricket.
154
00:06:22,034 --> 00:06:24,468
Oh, give me a freakin' break.
155
00:06:24,534 --> 00:06:26,767
How would you
possibly know that?
156
00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:28,334
In 1890, Emile Dolbear
157
00:06:28,401 --> 00:06:29,534
determined that there was
158
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,767
a fixed relationship
between the number
159
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,568
ofhirps per minute
of the snowy tree cricket
160
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,034
and the ambient temperature.
161
00:06:34,101 --> 00:06:35,700
A precise relationship
that is not preesent
162
00:06:35,767 --> 00:06:37,700
with ordinary field crickets.
163
00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:40,201
How do you know what the exact
temperature of the room is?
164
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,134
Under the terms of my roommate
agreement with Leonard,
165
00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:43,767
I've had unilateral control
of the thermostat
166
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,834
ever since the sweaty night
of '06.
167
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:50,667
Ok, you were right about
wolverine and bone claws,
168
00:06:50,733 --> 00:06:53,800
but you're wrong
about the cricket.
169
00:06:53,834 --> 00:06:55,101
Howard, don't embarrass
yourself.
170
00:06:55,134 --> 00:06:57,267
The science chirps for itself.
171
00:06:57,301 --> 00:07:01,134
(chuckling):
Humorous word play.
172
00:07:01,201 --> 00:07:02,767
No, no, not this time.
173
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,000
I know insects, my friend.
174
00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,700
I spent nearly all my
175
00:07:05,767 --> 00:07:07,201
childhood years
capturing them with nets,
176
00:07:07,267 --> 00:07:09,201
putting them in glass jars,
sticking pins through them,
177
00:07:09,267 --> 00:07:11,534
mounting them on corrugated
cardboard with Dymo labels
178
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,101
underneath, identifying
the genus and species.
179
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,334
In Latin.
180
00:07:19,167 --> 00:07:22,534
Oh, dude, you are never
getting a shiksa goddess.
181
00:07:23,534 --> 00:07:25,834
(cricket chirping)
182
00:07:25,867 --> 00:07:27,733
That is a snowy tree cricket.
183
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,367
Oecanthus fultoni.
184
00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:32,667
I was done with Latin
by fifth grade.
185
00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:34,234
Okay, okay, tell you what.
186
00:07:34,301 --> 00:07:36,234
I am willing to bet anything
187
00:07:36,301 --> 00:07:37,501
that's an ordinary
field cricket.
188
00:07:37,568 --> 00:07:39,568
I can't take your money.
189
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,267
What's the matter, you chicken?
190
00:07:41,334 --> 00:07:44,167
I've always found that
an inappropriate slur.
191
00:07:44,234 --> 00:07:45,568
Chickens are not by nature,
192
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:46,767
at all timid.
193
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,267
In fact, when I was young,
194
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,667
my neighbor's chicken got loose
195
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:52,633
and chased me up the big elm
tree in front of our house.
196
00:07:54,468 --> 00:07:56,101
Chickens can't climb trees.
197
00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:57,501
Thank God.
198
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:00,900
Okay,
199
00:08:00,967 --> 00:08:02,934
I believe a chicken
made you his bitch.
200
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,067
But the cricket thing,
I don't buy.
201
00:08:06,134 --> 00:08:07,234
Bet it.
202
00:08:07,301 --> 00:08:09,667
Fair enough.
203
00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:12,000
What stakes do you propose?
204
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,200
first appearance
Fanta of Silver Surfer48,
205
00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:20,534
against your Flash 123,
206
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,333
the classic Flash
of two worlds issue.
207
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,467
All right, you have a wager.
208
00:08:25,534 --> 00:08:28,101
Hmm.
Great.
209
00:08:28,168 --> 00:08:29,600
Now how are you going to
settle it, hmm?
210
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,233
There is no way
to determine the species
211
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:33,068
of the cricket
without examining it.
212
00:08:33,134 --> 00:08:37,934
(cricket chirping)
213
00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:41,367
(chirping continues)
214
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,200
I wonder what the non-thetic
people are doing tonight.
215
00:08:45,267 --> 00:08:47,534
(cricket chirping)
216
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,467
More wine?
Hit me.
217
00:09:05,834 --> 00:09:07,101
I don't see anything.
218
00:09:07,168 --> 00:09:09,534
Shh!
219
00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:13,467
(cricket chirping)
220
00:09:13,534 --> 00:09:15,001
Hallway.
221
00:09:18,701 --> 00:09:19,901
(groaning)
222
00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:21,967
One at a time.
223
00:09:29,567 --> 00:09:31,400
(deep growling)
224
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:34,967
What was that?
225
00:09:35,034 --> 00:09:37,867
My stomach.
226
00:09:37,901 --> 00:09:39,901
Indian food doesn't
agree with me.
227
00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:44,300
Ironic, isn't it?
228
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,867
Shh!
229
00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:48,200
(chirpinresumes)
230
00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:50,600
(whispering):
Elevator shaft.
231
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,333
(chirping)
232
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,934
Help me open it.
233
00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:57,168
Are you crazy?
234
00:09:57,233 --> 00:09:59,467
We can't go down an empty
elevator shaft.
235
00:09:59,534 --> 00:10:01,400
Fine, if you don't
want to proceed,
236
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,600
then you forfeit the bet,
237
00:10:02,634 --> 00:10:04,600
and I'll take possession
of your Fantastic Four.
238
00:10:05,634 --> 00:10:06,967
Let's open her up.
239
00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:11,967
Are you bothered that I can
so easily manipulate you?
240
00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:13,467
Don't push me, Sheldon.
241
00:10:13,534 --> 00:10:17,101
I may be small, but I took
kung fu when I was 13,
242
00:10:17,134 --> 00:10:19,634
and I remember
a good deal of it.
243
00:10:19,701 --> 00:10:20,834
Oh, really?
244
00:10:20,901 --> 00:10:22,567
Well, I grew up
with an older brother
245
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,434
and a very contentious
twin sister.
246
00:10:24,467 --> 00:10:26,168
And I believe I could
easily best you
247
00:10:26,233 --> 00:10:28,767
in any physical confrontation--
be it noogies, swirlies
248
00:10:28,767 --> 00:10:31,233
or the classic
"Why are you hitting yourself?"
249
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:37,567
Ooh, big talk from a man who
was once treed by a chicken.
250
00:10:41,134 --> 00:10:43,134
(both chuckle)
251
00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:48,467
What are we drinking now?
252
00:10:48,534 --> 00:10:50,500
Peppermint schnapps.
253
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,634
Why would you buy
peppermint schnapps?
254
00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:56,634
Because I like peppermint,
255
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:59,667
and it's fun to say schnapps.
256
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:02,467
(both laugh)
257
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,500
Hey, Leonard?
What?
258
00:11:04,567 --> 00:11:07,001
Schnapps.
259
00:11:07,068 --> 00:11:09,034
Schnapps.
260
00:11:09,101 --> 00:11:11,101
You're right,
that is fun.
261
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:16,101
Be careful.
262
00:11:16,168 --> 00:11:18,101
If I were not being careful,
263
00:11:18,168 --> 00:11:20,934
your telling me to be careful
would not make me careful.
264
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,500
(cricket chirping)
265
00:11:25,834 --> 00:11:27,934
Stairwell.
266
00:11:28,001 --> 00:11:29,934
Uh-oh, flashlight went out.
267
00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:32,434
I need some batteries.
268
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,500
Fellas?
269
00:11:36,467 --> 00:11:38,467
Hello?
270
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,367
It's really dark down here.
271
00:11:44,701 --> 00:11:46,667
(vomiting)
272
00:11:46,701 --> 00:11:49,500
Oh, sweetie.
273
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:52,534
You really can't hold
your liquor, can you?
274
00:11:53,634 --> 00:11:55,233
I'm okay.
275
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,567
Just a little mouthwash,
276
00:11:56,634 --> 00:12:00,200
and then I'm gonna rock
your world.
277
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:05,434
(vomiting)
278
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,233
Are you okay?
279
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:08,400
(vomiting)
280
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,133
Ugh, Toby, what did you do
in a past life
281
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,034
to be so disgusting now?
282
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:22,300
His name isn't Toby.
283
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,601
Toby is an absurd name
for a cricket.
284
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:25,701
What would you name him?
285
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,367
An appropriate cricket name.
286
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,734
For example, Jiminy.
287
00:12:29,801 --> 00:12:31,034
All right,
288
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,500
Sheldon, here we go.
289
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:35,034
Kleingast's Field Guide
to North American Insects.
290
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:36,734
He's Toby.
291
00:12:36,801 --> 00:12:39,267
Right here.
292
00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:40,300
See it?
293
00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:41,334
The common field cricket,
294
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,500
AK Gryllus assimilis,
295
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:45,034
which is Latin
for "suck it, you lose."
296
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:47,100
Hang on.
297
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,734
Voilá.
298
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:50,334
The snowy tree cricket.
299
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,334
AKA Oecanthus fultoni,
300
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,567
which is Latin for
I'll suck nothing.
301
00:12:54,634 --> 00:12:55,834
Of course I'm joking
302
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:58,567
because the Latin for that
is nihil exsorbibo.
303
00:12:58,634 --> 00:13:01,068
That is not Toby,
304
00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:02,167
this is Toby.
305
00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:03,901
Raj, what do
you think?
306
00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:06,767
Oh, I really don't care anymore.
307
00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:10,867
God, I had the most
horrible night.
308
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:15,233
Obviously another carnal fiasco
with the shiksi goddess.
309
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,001
Shiksa. Shik-sa.
310
00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:19,167
Forgive me.
311
00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:22,167
Yiddish was not spoken
in East Texas.
312
00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:25,500
And if it was,
it wasn't spoken for long.
313
00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:26,667
Yeah, fine, whatever.
314
00:13:26,734 --> 00:13:28,701
The point is,
you're wrong again.
315
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,167
We haven't established that I'm wrong once.
All right.
316
00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:32,400
Tell you what.
Let's go down
317
00:13:32,434 --> 00:13:33,901
to the Entomology
Department
318
00:13:33,934 --> 00:13:35,233
and let Professor
Crawley tell us
319
00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:37,133
what kind of cricket
Toby is.
320
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,400
He's a snowy
treericket,
321
00:13:38,467 --> 00:13:40,100
and his name
is Jiminy.
322
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:43,068
I bet I could throw
a rock in this room
323
00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:45,634
and come up
with three better friends.
324
00:13:52,634 --> 00:13:55,434
Holy crap.
325
00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:02,534
It's like Silence
of the Lambs down here.
326
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,100
(screams)
327
00:14:07,068 --> 00:14:09,300
Don't do that!
328
00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,300
You're such a girl.
329
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:12,400
They're just bugs.
330
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:13,834
Yeah, well,
I don't like bugs, okay?
331
00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:14,968
They freak me out.
332
00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:16,334
Interesting.
333
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,701
You're afraid of
insects and women.
334
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:22,233
Ladybugs must render
you catatonic.
335
00:14:23,734 --> 00:14:26,667
It was a joke.
336
00:14:26,734 --> 00:14:29,334
I made it to lessen
your discomfort.
337
00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:31,901
You're welcome.
338
00:14:31,968 --> 00:14:33,634
(footsteps)
339
00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:38,500
(chuckling): Don't knock.
340
00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:39,767
Just walk in.
341
00:14:39,801 --> 00:14:42,467
Why be polite to the world's
leading expert
342
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,500
on the dung beetle?
343
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:46,167
Excuse me,
344
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,901
are you Professor Crawley?
345
00:14:47,968 --> 00:14:50,001
Who wants to know?
346
00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:53,500
I'm Dr. Cooper
from the Physics Department.
347
00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:55,167
Couldn't wait, huh?
348
00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:56,233
I'm sorry?
349
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:57,701
I haven't even packed yet,
350
00:14:57,734 --> 00:14:59,767
and you're already
measuring my lab
351
00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:04,068
for one of your godless
laser machines.
352
00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:06,133
No, you don't understand.
353
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,734
We just want to ask you
a question.
354
00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:10,734
Let me ask you one first.
355
00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:12,767
What's a world renowned
entomologist
356
00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:14,434
with a doctorate
357
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:17,001
and 20 years of experience
to do with his life
358
00:15:17,068 --> 00:15:20,500
when the university cuts off
the funding for his lab, huh?
359
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:22,534
Ask rhetorical questions
360
00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:25,200
that make people
uncomfortable?
361
00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:27,467
(sarcastic laugh)
362
00:15:27,534 --> 00:15:29,901
What's your deal?
363
00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:33,601
Are they planning to outsource
my job to Bangalore?
364
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,634
I'm from New Delhi.
365
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,634
Maybe you should find
another entomologist.
366
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:41,400
No, no. We're here.
Let's settle this.
367
00:15:41,434 --> 00:15:44,233
Professor, can you identify
our cricket?
368
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,667
Of course I can.
369
00:15:45,734 --> 00:15:49,334
I can identify every insect
and arachnid on the planet.
370
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,801
Not that
that's going
371
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:54,133
to keep me from having to move
in with my daughter in Oxnard.
372
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,634
And we're not talking
373
00:15:55,701 --> 00:15:58,167
Oxnard at the beach. No!
374
00:15:58,233 --> 00:15:59,434
We're talking
Oxnard
375
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,467
in the onion fields.
376
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,701
Well, could you
look at Toby?
377
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,200
Toby?
378
00:16:10,968 --> 00:16:13,267
What a stupid name
for a cricket.
379
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,267
Told ya.
380
00:16:16,334 --> 00:16:17,968
It's a field cricket.
381
00:16:18,034 --> 00:16:19,200
Yes!
No, no, wait.
382
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,200
Dr. Crawley, are you sure?
383
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,567
Young man, I've been
studying insects
384
00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:24,934
since I was eight years old.
385
00:16:24,968 --> 00:16:26,801
You know what
they used to call me
386
00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:27,834
in school?
387
00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:29,867
Creepy Crawley.
388
00:16:29,934 --> 00:16:31,767
Cruel as that may be,
389
00:16:31,801 --> 00:16:33,867
that is not in itself
a credential.
390
00:16:34,901 --> 00:16:37,167
Let me show you something.
391
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,834
See that?
392
00:16:38,901 --> 00:16:41,001
That's a Crawley's dung beetle.
393
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,634
I discovered it after spending
six months slogging
394
00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,667
through a Bornean rain forest,
395
00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:48,200
while my wife
was back home
396
00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:50,867
shacking up with a two-bit
ornithologist
397
00:16:50,934 --> 00:16:52,867
who lives on a sailboat
398
00:16:52,934 --> 00:16:55,634
and likes to wear
boot-cut jeans!
399
00:16:55,701 --> 00:16:57,834
So, when I tell
400
00:16:57,901 --> 00:17:01,233
you that that's a common
field cricket,
401
00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:03,801
you can take that
to the damn bank!
402
00:17:03,867 --> 00:17:05,601
'Cause God knows
I can't!
403
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:08,400
That tramp took me
for everything!
404
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:16,534
Well, apparently,
I was wrong.
405
00:17:16,601 --> 00:17:18,601
Congratulations.
406
00:17:25,068 --> 00:17:26,667
Enjoy Oxnard.
407
00:17:28,467 --> 00:17:31,068
I'm sure your daughter's looking
forward to having you.
408
00:17:38,634 --> 00:17:40,100
Oh, hey, Sheldon.
409
00:17:40,134 --> 00:17:41,934
What you got there?
new comic book?
410
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,067
Old comic book.
411
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:47,067
I just retrieved it
from my safe deposit box.
412
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:50,100
What do you have a safe
deposit box for?
413
00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:53,100
Old comic books.
414
00:17:53,134 --> 00:17:55,267
I lost this
to Wollowitz
415
00:17:55,301 --> 00:17:58,267
in an ill-considered
cricket wager.
416
00:17:58,301 --> 00:18:00,967
What, do they have
Wii cricket now?
417
00:18:02,401 --> 00:18:04,467
That can't be very popular.
418
00:18:04,534 --> 00:18:06,668
Penny, I'd rather
not talk about it.
419
00:18:06,733 --> 00:18:08,334
Well, if it makes you feel
any better,
420
00:18:08,401 --> 00:18:09,833
I'm not feeling so hot either.
421
00:18:10,934 --> 00:18:13,467
Why would that make
me feel better?
422
00:18:13,534 --> 00:18:16,034
I don't know, empathy?
423
00:18:20,334 --> 00:18:22,134
Anyway, I'm just saying,
424
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,134
that you're feeling upset
about something with Howard,
425
00:18:24,167 --> 00:18:25,967
and I'm upset about something
with Leonard.
Yes,
426
00:18:26,034 --> 00:18:28,167
yes, the disappointing sex.
427
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,833
That's an inexact
parallel.
428
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:33,467
You and Leonard can always
return to being friends,
429
00:18:33,534 --> 00:18:35,000
whereas I can never
return to a state
430
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:37,134
in which Wolowitz
has not bested me
431
00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:39,833
like Mrs. Riley's
chicken.
432
00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:41,967
What's Mrs. Riley's chicken?
433
00:18:42,034 --> 00:18:45,034
A chicken that was owned
by MrsRiley.
434
00:18:46,234 --> 00:18:47,934
Okay, forget the chicken.
435
00:18:47,934 --> 00:18:50,334
Well, I wish I could.
436
00:18:50,367 --> 00:18:51,934
No, no.
437
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,767
You may be right
about me and Leonard.
438
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,100
Of course I'm right.
439
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:57,934
What are the odds I'd be
wrong twice in one week?
440
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,301
No, I mean, we can always go
back to being friends.
441
00:19:00,334 --> 00:19:02,401
I just said that.
442
00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:03,867
This conversation has
started to circle.
443
00:19:09,334 --> 00:19:10,601
Hello. Meeting adjourned.
444
00:19:10,668 --> 00:19:11,967
Hey.
445
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:14,401
What's going on?
446
00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:15,900
Oh, you'd like
to catch up
447
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,601
on the events of the
day. All right.
448
00:19:17,668 --> 00:19:20,134
Well, there was a half-hour wait
at the bank
449
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,733
to get into my safe deposit box,
450
00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:24,434
I was forced to talk to Penny
about your sexual problems,
451
00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:25,900
and, oh, yes,
452
00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:27,900
in a moment filled
with biblical resonance,
453
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,967
pride wenteth before my fall,
454
00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:33,767
causing my Flash 123
to goeth to Wolowitz.
455
00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:35,000
Wait a minute.
456
00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:37,568
You talked to Penny
about our sex life?
457
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,401
Leonard, it astonishes me
458
00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:41,401
how you continually fixate
on the trivial.
459
00:19:41,467 --> 00:19:44,201
I lost a bet to Wolowitz.
460
00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,534
Right, right.
461
00:19:45,568 --> 00:19:47,134
You're saying you talked
to Penny?
462
00:19:47,201 --> 00:19:48,467
Ye-Yes.
463
00:19:48,534 --> 00:19:49,201
Interesting.
464
00:19:49,234 --> 00:19:51,034
Hardly.
465
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,167
Excuse me.
466
00:19:52,201 --> 00:19:54,634
Have I crossed some
sort of line again?
467
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,668
Little bit.
468
00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:59,733
Hmm.
469
00:20:03,734 --> 00:20:04,734
Oh, who cares?
470
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:12,134
Oh, hey.
Hey.
471
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,867
Uh, what did Sheldon
say to you?
472
00:20:13,934 --> 00:20:14,901
Not a lot.
473
00:20:14,967 --> 00:20:16,567
Just that we always
have the option
474
00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:18,300
of going back
to being friends.
475
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,467
Is that what you want?
476
00:20:20,534 --> 00:20:21,767
I don't know.
477
00:20:21,801 --> 00:20:23,434
I mean, you have to admit
478
00:20:23,467 --> 00:20:26,168
things seemed simpler
when we were just friends.
479
00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:28,034
I guess.
480
00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:29,667
It would take
the pressure off.
481
00:20:29,734 --> 00:20:31,967
It would, wouldn't it?
482
00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:35,168
So, we'll just be friends.
483
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:36,333
Good.
484
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,767
Good.
485
00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:39,767
Come here.
Hmm.
486
00:20:39,801 --> 00:20:43,767
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
487
00:20:52,967 --> 00:20:55,134
Okay-dokay.