1 00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:03,001 Sheldon, you're wrong. 2 00:00:03,067 --> 00:00:06,134 Wolverine was not born with bone claws. Howard, 3 00:00:06,201 --> 00:00:07,834 you know me to be a very smart man. 4 00:00:07,867 --> 00:00:11,834 Don't you think if I were wrong, I'd know it? 5 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,734 Okay, first of all... Give it up, dude. 6 00:00:13,767 --> 00:00:16,267 You're arguing with a crazy person. 7 00:00:16,334 --> 00:00:17,667 I'm not crazy. 8 00:00:17,734 --> 00:00:19,267 My mother had me tested. 9 00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:22,667 Hey, guys. What are you doing here? 10 00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:24,567 What do you mean? It's new comic book night. 11 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,567 Yeah, but since you and Penny finally hooked up, we thought 12 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:30,234 you two would be having bouncy naked yum-y night. 13 00:00:30,301 --> 00:00:33,067 There's more to life than sex, Raj. 14 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,267 Okay, who had "Leonard flames out with Penny in less than 24 hours"? 15 00:00:35,334 --> 00:00:37,468 I did. 16 00:00:37,533 --> 00:00:39,134 Nothing flamed out. 17 00:00:39,201 --> 00:00:41,134 We don't have to have sex every night, you know. 18 00:00:41,201 --> 00:00:45,134 You don't have to, but it's highly recommended. 19 00:00:45,201 --> 00:00:47,468 Yeah, take advantage of that window of opportunity 20 00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:50,600 before it slams shut on your little dinky. 21 00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:52,667 It's not a matter of opportunity. 22 00:00:52,734 --> 00:00:54,001 We're getting to know each other. 23 00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:55,600 There's a learning curve. 24 00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:56,700 What's there to learn? 25 00:00:56,767 --> 00:00:58,267 You get naked, do nasty things to each other, 26 00:00:58,301 --> 00:01:00,134 then somebody makes scrambled eggs and salami. 27 00:01:00,201 --> 00:01:01,368 Easy peasy. 28 00:01:01,434 --> 00:01:02,700 Perhaps what Leonard 29 00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:04,334 is oblique referring to 30 00:01:04,434 --> 00:01:06,767 is the occurrence of some sort of sexual dysfunction. 31 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:10,267 Okay, who had "Leonard gets a floppy disk"? 32 00:01:10,301 --> 00:01:12,800 Oh, a clever-- albeit obsolete, euphemism 33 00:01:12,867 --> 00:01:15,334 for insufficient blood flow to the male sex organ. 34 00:01:15,401 --> 00:01:17,667 (singsongy chuckle) 35 00:01:17,734 --> 00:01:19,700 Nothing like that happened, all right? 36 00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:21,834 The sex was... just fine. 37 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,867 Just fine? 38 00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:28,001 Oh, dude, the fourth Harry Potter movie was "just fine." 39 00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:29,967 I'm not saying it was bad. 40 00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:32,633 I'm just saying it... wasn't great. 41 00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:33,767 Okay, when you say "it wasn'great," 42 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,034 do you mean for both of you? 43 00:01:35,101 --> 00:01:37,034 Because we can totally see it not being great for her. 44 00:01:37,101 --> 00:01:38,567 Am I right? Oh, yeah. 45 00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:41,234 To tell you the truth, I think we were both a little-- 46 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:42,301 I don't know... 47 00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:43,700 Disappointed? Let down? 48 00:01:43,767 --> 00:01:45,767 Ashamed? Horrified? Repulsed? 49 00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:49,034 All I know is, it wasn't the way I dreamed it would be. 50 00:01:49,101 --> 00:01:53,834 Sex is never the way I dream it's gonna be. 51 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:56,001 That's because in your dreams, 52 00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:58,600 you're a horse from the waist down. 53 00:01:59,633 --> 00:02:02,533 Excuse me, Wolverine: Origin. 54 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,567 Miniseries issue two, page2. 55 00:02:05,633 --> 00:02:07,500 Retractable bone claws. 56 00:02:07,567 --> 00:02:09,834 If you people spent less time thinking about sex 57 00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:11,734 and more time concentrating on comic books, 58 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,934 we'd have far fewer of these embarrassing moments. 59 00:02:16,301 --> 00:02:19,633 * Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state * 60 00:02:19,734 --> 00:02:23,101 * Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! * 61 00:02:23,134 --> 00:02:24,667 * The Earth began to cool 62 00:02:24,734 --> 00:02:27,900 * The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developedools * 63 00:02:27,967 --> 00:02:30,067 * We built the Wall * We built the pyramids * 64 00:02:30,134 --> 00:02:32,600 * Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery * 65 00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:34,167 * That all started with a big ban* 66 00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,501 Sheldon, dinner's here. 67 00:02:44,568 --> 00:02:46,434 Tandoori Palace? 68 00:02:46,468 --> 00:02:48,034 No, we went somewhere new. 69 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,301 You're good naturedly ribbing me, aren't you? 70 00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:56,434 No, look, Mumbai Palace. 71 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,227 Why? 72 00:02:57,233 --> 00:02:58,901 Why would we change? 73 00:02:58,968 --> 00:02:59,900 We had a perfectly good palace. 74 00:02:59,934 --> 00:03:02,867 Tandoori Palace is our palace. 75 00:03:02,934 --> 00:03:04,501 Trust me, this will be just fine. 76 00:03:04,568 --> 00:03:05,501 (scoffs) 77 00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:06,733 You are the authority 78 00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:09,667 on "just fine." 79 00:03:11,668 --> 00:03:12,668 What's that supposed to mean? 80 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,468 What's "Not bad, but not great"? 81 00:03:15,534 --> 00:03:16,700 (stifled chuckles) 82 00:03:17,834 --> 00:03:19,468 What are they talking about? 83 00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:21,234 I don't know. I know. 84 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:22,334 As I'm sure you're aware... Duh-duh-duh-duh- 85 00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:23,934 duh-duh. 86 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,800 If that's Morse code, that's terrible. 87 00:03:28,134 --> 00:03:29,468 As I was saying, you and Leonard had 88 00:03:29,534 --> 00:03:30,967 a disappointing sexual encounter. 89 00:03:31,034 --> 00:03:32,101 Earlier this evening, 90 00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:34,267 Leonard characterized it as "just fine." 91 00:03:34,334 --> 00:03:35,733 So what you're seeing here is a continuation 92 00:03:35,767 --> 00:03:37,967 of the mocking that followed. 93 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:41,800 Okay, yeah, well, 94 00:03:41,867 --> 00:03:43,501 I'm just gonna go eat my dinner elsewhe. 95 00:03:43,568 --> 00:03:45,667 Maybe an airplane headed for a mountainside. 96 00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,733 Penny, wait. 97 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,201 Aah! 98 00:03:50,267 --> 00:03:52,700 What is wrong with you? 99 00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:55,967 (door slams) 100 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,501 I sense I may have crossed some sort of line. 101 00:03:59,568 --> 00:04:02,034 Yeah, you... No, don't tell him. 102 00:04:02,101 --> 00:04:05,267 Let's see if he can figure it out. 103 00:04:09,534 --> 00:04:11,800 Ugh, I am so embarrassed! 104 00:04:11,867 --> 00:04:13,000 Please don't be mad 105 00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:14,267 What did you tell them? 106 00:04:14,334 --> 00:04:17,101 Nothing bad, just that last night was fine. 107 00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:19,501 Fine? You said it was fine? 108 00:04:19,568 --> 00:04:21,700 Yeah, it's a perfectly good word. 109 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,534 You put it in front of "wine" or "dining," 110 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,934 and you've really got something. 111 00:04:29,167 --> 00:04:32,301 Okay, well, let me ask you this: 112 00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:34,034 How was last night for you? 113 00:04:34,101 --> 00:04:37,867 It was... okay. 114 00:04:37,934 --> 00:04:39,834 Okay. 115 00:04:39,867 --> 00:04:42,301 Yeah, it's a perfectly good word. 116 00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,334 I mean, you put it in front of "okay 117 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,167 you really got something. 118 00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:49,034 All right, look, let's not overreact, you know 119 00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:50,468 For a lot of couples, it takes time 120 00:04:50,534 --> 00:04:52,067 to get to know each other's rhythms. 121 00:04:52,134 --> 00:04:54,201 Learn what the other person was and likes. 122 00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:56,167 So, you've been through this before? 123 00:04:56,234 --> 00:04:57,534 No. 124 00:04:59,334 --> 00:05:01,334 Okay-dokay. 125 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:05,201 You know, I think this is one of those things where 126 00:05:05,234 --> 00:05:06,767 talking about it is not going to make it better. 127 00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:07,867 Want a glass of wine? 128 00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:10,167 So much. Okay 129 00:05:10,201 --> 00:05:12,034 See, we should've do this last night. 130 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,967 You know, have a little wine, take the edge off. 131 00:05:15,034 --> 00:05:17,767 Actually, ethyl alcohol inhibits electrical conduction 132 00:05:17,867 --> 00:05:20,633 in the nerve cells and stimulates reuptake receptors 133 00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:25,900 of inhibitory neurotramitters like gamma-aminobutyric acid. 134 00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:30,834 Don't talk, just drink. 135 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,867 No, you're misunderstanding. 136 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:38,267 A shiksa goddess isn't an actual goddess. 137 00:05:38,334 --> 00:05:40,934 And we don't pray to them. 138 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,568 We prey on them. 139 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,101 Whatever, dude. 140 00:05:45,201 --> 00:05:47,900 The point is, Leonard's got one and you don't. 141 00:05:47,967 --> 00:05:49,934 Is this it? 142 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,867 It was inappropriate to discuss Leonard and Penny's sex life 143 00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:54,367 in front of Leonard and Penny. 144 00:05:54,434 --> 00:05:57,900 Oh, good! 145 00:05:57,934 --> 00:05:59,101 (sighs with relief) 146 00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:00,633 Now I can eat. 147 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,934 (cricket chirping) 148 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,834 What's that? 149 00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,334 Sounds like a cricket. Hang on. 150 00:06:11,401 --> 00:06:15,733 (cricket chirping) 151 00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:17,434 Based on the number of chirps per minute 152 00:06:17,468 --> 00:06:18,867 and the ambient temperature in this room, 153 00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:21,967 it is a snowy tree cricket. 154 00:06:22,034 --> 00:06:24,468 Oh, give me a freakin' break. 155 00:06:24,534 --> 00:06:26,767 How would you possibly know that? 156 00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:28,334 In 1890, Emile Dolbear 157 00:06:28,401 --> 00:06:29,534 determined that there was 158 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,767 a fixed relationship between the number 159 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,568 ofhirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket 160 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,034 and the ambient temperature. 161 00:06:34,101 --> 00:06:35,700 A precise relationship that is not preesent 162 00:06:35,767 --> 00:06:37,700 with ordinary field crickets. 163 00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:40,201 How do you know what the exact temperature of the room is? 164 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,134 Under the terms of my roommate agreement with Leonard, 165 00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:43,767 I've had unilateral control of the thermostat 166 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,834 ever since the sweaty night of '06. 167 00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:50,667 Ok, you were right about wolverine and bone claws, 168 00:06:50,733 --> 00:06:53,800 but you're wrong about the cricket. 169 00:06:53,834 --> 00:06:55,101 Howard, don't embarrass yourself. 170 00:06:55,134 --> 00:06:57,267 The science chirps for itself. 171 00:06:57,301 --> 00:07:01,134 (chuckling): Humorous word play. 172 00:07:01,201 --> 00:07:02,767 No, no, not this time. 173 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,000 I know insects, my friend. 174 00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,700 I spent nearly all my 175 00:07:05,767 --> 00:07:07,201 childhood years capturing them with nets, 176 00:07:07,267 --> 00:07:09,201 putting them in glass jars, sticking pins through them, 177 00:07:09,267 --> 00:07:11,534 mounting them on corrugated cardboard with Dymo labels 178 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,101 underneath, identifying the genus and species. 179 00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,334 In Latin. 180 00:07:19,167 --> 00:07:22,534 Oh, dude, you are never getting a shiksa goddess. 181 00:07:23,534 --> 00:07:25,834 (cricket chirping) 182 00:07:25,867 --> 00:07:27,733 That is a snowy tree cricket. 183 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,367 Oecanthus fultoni. 184 00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:32,667 I was done with Latin by fifth grade. 185 00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:34,234 Okay, okay, tell you what. 186 00:07:34,301 --> 00:07:36,234 I am willing to bet anything 187 00:07:36,301 --> 00:07:37,501 that's an ordinary field cricket. 188 00:07:37,568 --> 00:07:39,568 I can't take your money. 189 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,267 What's the matter, you chicken? 190 00:07:41,334 --> 00:07:44,167 I've always found that an inappropriate slur. 191 00:07:44,234 --> 00:07:45,568 Chickens are not by nature, 192 00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:46,767 at all timid. 193 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,267 In fact, when I was young, 194 00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,667 my neighbor's chicken got loose 195 00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:52,633 and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house. 196 00:07:54,468 --> 00:07:56,101 Chickens can't climb trees. 197 00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:57,501 Thank God. 198 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:00,900 Okay, 199 00:08:00,967 --> 00:08:02,934 I believe a chicken made you his bitch. 200 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,067 But the cricket thing, I don't buy. 201 00:08:06,134 --> 00:08:07,234 Bet it. 202 00:08:07,301 --> 00:08:09,667 Fair enough. 203 00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:12,000 What stakes do you propose? 204 00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,200 first appearance Fanta of Silver Surfer48, 205 00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:20,534 against your Flash 123, 206 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,333 the classic Flash of two worlds issue. 207 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,467 All right, you have a wager. 208 00:08:25,534 --> 00:08:28,101 Hmm. Great. 209 00:08:28,168 --> 00:08:29,600 Now how are you going to settle it, hmm? 210 00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,233 There is no way to determine the species 211 00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:33,068 of the cricket without examining it. 212 00:08:33,134 --> 00:08:37,934 (cricket chirping) 213 00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:41,367 (chirping continues) 214 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,200 I wonder what the non-thetic people are doing tonight. 215 00:08:45,267 --> 00:08:47,534 (cricket chirping) 216 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,467 More wine? Hit me. 217 00:09:05,834 --> 00:09:07,101 I don't see anything. 218 00:09:07,168 --> 00:09:09,534 Shh! 219 00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:13,467 (cricket chirping) 220 00:09:13,534 --> 00:09:15,001 Hallway. 221 00:09:18,701 --> 00:09:19,901 (groaning) 222 00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:21,967 One at a time. 223 00:09:29,567 --> 00:09:31,400 (deep growling) 224 00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:34,967 What was that? 225 00:09:35,034 --> 00:09:37,867 My stomach. 226 00:09:37,901 --> 00:09:39,901 Indian food doesn't agree with me. 227 00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:44,300 Ironic, isn't it? 228 00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,867 Shh! 229 00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:48,200 (chirpinresumes) 230 00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:50,600 (whispering): Elevator shaft. 231 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,333 (chirping) 232 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,934 Help me open it. 233 00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:57,168 Are you crazy? 234 00:09:57,233 --> 00:09:59,467 We can't go down an empty elevator shaft. 235 00:09:59,534 --> 00:10:01,400 Fine, if you don't want to proceed, 236 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,600 then you forfeit the bet, 237 00:10:02,634 --> 00:10:04,600 and I'll take possession of your Fantastic Four. 238 00:10:05,634 --> 00:10:06,967 Let's open her up. 239 00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:11,967 Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you? 240 00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:13,467 Don't push me, Sheldon. 241 00:10:13,534 --> 00:10:17,101 I may be small, but I took kung fu when I was 13, 242 00:10:17,134 --> 00:10:19,634 and I remember a good deal of it. 243 00:10:19,701 --> 00:10:20,834 Oh, really? 244 00:10:20,901 --> 00:10:22,567 Well, I grew up with an older brother 245 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,434 and a very contentious twin sister. 246 00:10:24,467 --> 00:10:26,168 And I believe I could easily best you 247 00:10:26,233 --> 00:10:28,767 in any physical confrontation-- be it noogies, swirlies 248 00:10:28,767 --> 00:10:31,233 or the classic "Why are you hitting yourself?" 249 00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:37,567 Ooh, big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken. 250 00:10:41,134 --> 00:10:43,134 (both chuckle) 251 00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:48,467 What are we drinking now? 252 00:10:48,534 --> 00:10:50,500 Peppermint schnapps. 253 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,634 Why would you buy peppermint schnapps? 254 00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:56,634 Because I like peppermint, 255 00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:59,667 and it's fun to say schnapps. 256 00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:02,467 (both laugh) 257 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,500 Hey, Leonard? What? 258 00:11:04,567 --> 00:11:07,001 Schnapps. 259 00:11:07,068 --> 00:11:09,034 Schnapps. 260 00:11:09,101 --> 00:11:11,101 You're right, that is fun. 261 00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:16,101 Be careful. 262 00:11:16,168 --> 00:11:18,101 If I were not being careful, 263 00:11:18,168 --> 00:11:20,934 your telling me to be careful would not make me careful. 264 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,500 (cricket chirping) 265 00:11:25,834 --> 00:11:27,934 Stairwell. 266 00:11:28,001 --> 00:11:29,934 Uh-oh, flashlight went out. 267 00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:32,434 I need some batteries. 268 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,500 Fellas? 269 00:11:36,467 --> 00:11:38,467 Hello? 270 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,367 It's really dark down here. 271 00:11:44,701 --> 00:11:46,667 (vomiting) 272 00:11:46,701 --> 00:11:49,500 Oh, sweetie. 273 00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:52,534 You really can't hold your liquor, can you? 274 00:11:53,634 --> 00:11:55,233 I'm okay. 275 00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,567 Just a little mouthwash, 276 00:11:56,634 --> 00:12:00,200 and then I'm gonna rock your world. 277 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:05,434 (vomiting) 278 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,233 Are you okay? 279 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:08,400 (vomiting) 280 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,133 Ugh, Toby, what did you do in a past life 281 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,034 to be so disgusting now? 282 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:22,300 His name isn't Toby. 283 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,601 Toby is an absurd name for a cricket. 284 00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:25,701 What would you name him? 285 00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,367 An appropriate cricket name. 286 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,734 For example, Jiminy. 287 00:12:29,801 --> 00:12:31,034 All right, 288 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,500 Sheldon, here we go. 289 00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:35,034 Kleingast's Field Guide to North American Insects. 290 00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:36,734 He's Toby. 291 00:12:36,801 --> 00:12:39,267 Right here. 292 00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:40,300 See it? 293 00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:41,334 The common field cricket, 294 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,500 AK Gryllus assimilis, 295 00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:45,034 which is Latin for "suck it, you lose." 296 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:47,100 Hang on. 297 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,734 Voilá. 298 00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:50,334 The snowy tree cricket. 299 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,334 AKA Oecanthus fultoni, 300 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,567 which is Latin for I'll suck nothing. 301 00:12:54,634 --> 00:12:55,834 Of course I'm joking 302 00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:58,567 because the Latin for that is nihil exsorbibo. 303 00:12:58,634 --> 00:13:01,068 That is not Toby, 304 00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:02,167 this is Toby. 305 00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:03,901 Raj, what do you think? 306 00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:06,767 Oh, I really don't care anymore. 307 00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:10,867 God, I had the most horrible night. 308 00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:15,233 Obviously another carnal fiasco with the shiksi goddess. 309 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,001 Shiksa. Shik-sa. 310 00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:19,167 Forgive me. 311 00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:22,167 Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas. 312 00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:25,500 And if it was, it wasn't spoken for long. 313 00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:26,667 Yeah, fine, whatever. 314 00:13:26,734 --> 00:13:28,701 The point is, you're wrong again. 315 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,167 We haven't established that I'm wrong once. All right. 316 00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:32,400 Tell you what. Let's go down 317 00:13:32,434 --> 00:13:33,901 to the Entomology Department 318 00:13:33,934 --> 00:13:35,233 and let Professor Crawley tell us 319 00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:37,133 what kind of cricket Toby is. 320 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,400 He's a snowy treericket, 321 00:13:38,467 --> 00:13:40,100 and his name is Jiminy. 322 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:43,068 I bet I could throw a rock in this room 323 00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:45,634 and come up with three better friends. 324 00:13:52,634 --> 00:13:55,434 Holy crap. 325 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:02,534 It's like Silence of the Lambs down here. 326 00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,100 (screams) 327 00:14:07,068 --> 00:14:09,300 Don't do that! 328 00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,300 You're such a girl. 329 00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:12,400 They're just bugs. 330 00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:13,834 Yeah, well, I don't like bugs, okay? 331 00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:14,968 They freak me out. 332 00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:16,334 Interesting. 333 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,701 You're afraid of insects and women. 334 00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:22,233 Ladybugs must render you catatonic. 335 00:14:23,734 --> 00:14:26,667 It was a joke. 336 00:14:26,734 --> 00:14:29,334 I made it to lessen your discomfort. 337 00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:31,901 You're welcome. 338 00:14:31,968 --> 00:14:33,634 (footsteps) 339 00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:38,500 (chuckling): Don't knock. 340 00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:39,767 Just walk in. 341 00:14:39,801 --> 00:14:42,467 Why be polite to the world's leading expert 342 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,500 on the dung beetle? 343 00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:46,167 Excuse me, 344 00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,901 are you Professor Crawley? 345 00:14:47,968 --> 00:14:50,001 Who wants to know? 346 00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:53,500 I'm Dr. Cooper from the Physics Department. 347 00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:55,167 Couldn't wait, huh? 348 00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:56,233 I'm sorry? 349 00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:57,701 I haven't even packed yet, 350 00:14:57,734 --> 00:14:59,767 and you're already measuring my lab 351 00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:04,068 for one of your godless laser machines. 352 00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:06,133 No, you don't understand. 353 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,734 We just want to ask you a question. 354 00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:10,734 Let me ask you one first. 355 00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:12,767 What's a world renowned entomologist 356 00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:14,434 with a doctorate 357 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:17,001 and 20 years of experience to do with his life 358 00:15:17,068 --> 00:15:20,500 when the university cuts off the funding for his lab, huh? 359 00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:22,534 Ask rhetorical questions 360 00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:25,200 that make people uncomfortable? 361 00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:27,467 (sarcastic laugh) 362 00:15:27,534 --> 00:15:29,901 What's your deal? 363 00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:33,601 Are they planning to outsource my job to Bangalore? 364 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,634 I'm from New Delhi. 365 00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,634 Maybe you should find another entomologist. 366 00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:41,400 No, no. We're here. Let's settle this. 367 00:15:41,434 --> 00:15:44,233 Professor, can you identify our cricket? 368 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,667 Of course I can. 369 00:15:45,734 --> 00:15:49,334 I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet. 370 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,801 Not that that's going 371 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:54,133 to keep me from having to move in with my daughter in Oxnard. 372 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,634 And we're not talking 373 00:15:55,701 --> 00:15:58,167 Oxnard at the beach. No! 374 00:15:58,233 --> 00:15:59,434 We're talking Oxnard 375 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,467 in the onion fields. 376 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,701 Well, could you look at Toby? 377 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,200 Toby? 378 00:16:10,968 --> 00:16:13,267 What a stupid name for a cricket. 379 00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,267 Told ya. 380 00:16:16,334 --> 00:16:17,968 It's a field cricket. 381 00:16:18,034 --> 00:16:19,200 Yes! No, no, wait. 382 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,200 Dr. Crawley, are you sure? 383 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,567 Young man, I've been studying insects 384 00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:24,934 since I was eight years old. 385 00:16:24,968 --> 00:16:26,801 You know what they used to call me 386 00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:27,834 in school? 387 00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:29,867 Creepy Crawley. 388 00:16:29,934 --> 00:16:31,767 Cruel as that may be, 389 00:16:31,801 --> 00:16:33,867 that is not in itself a credential. 390 00:16:34,901 --> 00:16:37,167 Let me show you something. 391 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,834 See that? 392 00:16:38,901 --> 00:16:41,001 That's a Crawley's dung beetle. 393 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,634 I discovered it after spending six months slogging 394 00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,667 through a Bornean rain forest, 395 00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:48,200 while my wife was back home 396 00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:50,867 shacking up with a two-bit ornithologist 397 00:16:50,934 --> 00:16:52,867 who lives on a sailboat 398 00:16:52,934 --> 00:16:55,634 and likes to wear boot-cut jeans! 399 00:16:55,701 --> 00:16:57,834 So, when I tell 400 00:16:57,901 --> 00:17:01,233 you that that's a common field cricket, 401 00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:03,801 you can take that to the damn bank! 402 00:17:03,867 --> 00:17:05,601 'Cause God knows I can't! 403 00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:08,400 That tramp took me for everything! 404 00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:16,534 Well, apparently, I was wrong. 405 00:17:16,601 --> 00:17:18,601 Congratulations. 406 00:17:25,068 --> 00:17:26,667 Enjoy Oxnard. 407 00:17:28,467 --> 00:17:31,068 I'm sure your daughter's looking forward to having you. 408 00:17:38,634 --> 00:17:40,100 Oh, hey, Sheldon. 409 00:17:40,134 --> 00:17:41,934 What you got there? new comic book? 410 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,067 Old comic book. 411 00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:47,067 I just retrieved it from my safe deposit box. 412 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:50,100 What do you have a safe deposit box for? 413 00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:53,100 Old comic books. 414 00:17:53,134 --> 00:17:55,267 I lost this to Wollowitz 415 00:17:55,301 --> 00:17:58,267 in an ill-considered cricket wager. 416 00:17:58,301 --> 00:18:00,967 What, do they have Wii cricket now? 417 00:18:02,401 --> 00:18:04,467 That can't be very popular. 418 00:18:04,534 --> 00:18:06,668 Penny, I'd rather not talk about it. 419 00:18:06,733 --> 00:18:08,334 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 420 00:18:08,401 --> 00:18:09,833 I'm not feeling so hot either. 421 00:18:10,934 --> 00:18:13,467 Why would that make me feel better? 422 00:18:13,534 --> 00:18:16,034 I don't know, empathy? 423 00:18:20,334 --> 00:18:22,134 Anyway, I'm just saying, 424 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,134 that you're feeling upset about something with Howard, 425 00:18:24,167 --> 00:18:25,967 and I'm upset about something with Leonard. Yes, 426 00:18:26,034 --> 00:18:28,167 yes, the disappointing sex. 427 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,833 That's an inexact parallel. 428 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:33,467 You and Leonard can always return to being friends, 429 00:18:33,534 --> 00:18:35,000 whereas I can never return to a state 430 00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:37,134 in which Wolowitz has not bested me 431 00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:39,833 like Mrs. Riley's chicken. 432 00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:41,967 What's Mrs. Riley's chicken? 433 00:18:42,034 --> 00:18:45,034 A chicken that was owned by MrsRiley. 434 00:18:46,234 --> 00:18:47,934 Okay, forget the chicken. 435 00:18:47,934 --> 00:18:50,334 Well, I wish I could. 436 00:18:50,367 --> 00:18:51,934 No, no. 437 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,767 You may be right about me and Leonard. 438 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,100 Of course I'm right. 439 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:57,934 What are the odds I'd be wrong twice in one week? 440 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,301 No, I mean, we can always go back to being friends. 441 00:19:00,334 --> 00:19:02,401 I just said that. 442 00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:03,867 This conversation has started to circle. 443 00:19:09,334 --> 00:19:10,601 Hello. Meeting adjourned. 444 00:19:10,668 --> 00:19:11,967 Hey. 445 00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:14,401 What's going on? 446 00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:15,900 Oh, you'd like to catch up 447 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,601 on the events of the day. All right. 448 00:19:17,668 --> 00:19:20,134 Well, there was a half-hour wait at the bank 449 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,733 to get into my safe deposit box, 450 00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:24,434 I was forced to talk to Penny about your sexual problems, 451 00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:25,900 and, oh, yes, 452 00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:27,900 in a moment filled with biblical resonance, 453 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,967 pride wenteth before my fall, 454 00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:33,767 causing my Flash 123 to goeth to Wolowitz. 455 00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:35,000 Wait a minute. 456 00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:37,568 You talked to Penny about our sex life? 457 00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,401 Leonard, it astonishes me 458 00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:41,401 how you continually fixate on the trivial. 459 00:19:41,467 --> 00:19:44,201 I lost a bet to Wolowitz. 460 00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,534 Right, right. 461 00:19:45,568 --> 00:19:47,134 You're saying you talked to Penny? 462 00:19:47,201 --> 00:19:48,467 Ye-Yes. 463 00:19:48,534 --> 00:19:49,201 Interesting. 464 00:19:49,234 --> 00:19:51,034 Hardly. 465 00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,167 Excuse me. 466 00:19:52,201 --> 00:19:54,634 Have I crossed some sort of line again? 467 00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,668 Little bit. 468 00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:59,733 Hmm. 469 00:20:03,734 --> 00:20:04,734 Oh, who cares? 470 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:12,134 Oh, hey. Hey. 471 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,867 Uh, what did Sheldon say to you? 472 00:20:13,934 --> 00:20:14,901 Not a lot. 473 00:20:14,967 --> 00:20:16,567 Just that we always have the option 474 00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:18,300 of going back to being friends. 475 00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,467 Is that what you want? 476 00:20:20,534 --> 00:20:21,767 I don't know. 477 00:20:21,801 --> 00:20:23,434 I mean, you have to admit 478 00:20:23,467 --> 00:20:26,168 things seemed simpler when we were just friends. 479 00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:28,034 I guess. 480 00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:29,667 It would take the pressure off. 481 00:20:29,734 --> 00:20:31,967 It would, wouldn't it? 482 00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:35,168 So, we'll just be friends. 483 00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:36,333 Good. 484 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,767 Good. 485 00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:39,767 Come here. Hmm. 486 00:20:39,801 --> 00:20:43,767 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 487 00:20:52,967 --> 00:20:55,134 Okay-dokay.