1
00:00:03,016 --> 00:00:05,452
I cannot believe you made
up your own game.
2
00:00:06,311 --> 00:00:08,966
"Research Lab" is more than a game.
3
00:00:09,447 --> 00:00:10,696
It's like the slogan says:
4
00:00:10,821 --> 00:00:13,794
"The physics is theoretical,
but the fun is real."
5
00:00:15,796 --> 00:00:17,809
We must not be playing it right.
6
00:00:19,529 --> 00:00:23,197
All right, five.
One, two, three, four, five.
7
00:00:24,035 --> 00:00:27,235
Look at that. My Department
of Defense research grant is renewed.
8
00:00:28,470 --> 00:00:29,314
Great roll!
9
00:00:29,439 --> 00:00:32,317
Now you can demolish
your Soviet-style cyclotron
10
00:00:32,442 --> 00:00:34,514
and build the large Hadron Collider.
11
00:00:38,024 --> 00:00:39,372
You're a natural at this.
12
00:00:39,618 --> 00:00:42,255
And as the first beta testers,
you two'll have quite the edge
13
00:00:42,380 --> 00:00:44,668
when we play with Wolowitz
and Koothrappali on Sunday.
14
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:49,215
I don't think we can play on Sunday.
15
00:00:49,503 --> 00:00:50,530
Why not?
16
00:00:50,865 --> 00:00:53,511
Because of the reasons
that Penny will now tell you.
17
00:00:55,062 --> 00:00:57,181
I have to pick up
my friend Justin from the airport.
18
00:00:57,351 --> 00:00:59,725
She has to pick up
her friend Justin at the airport.
19
00:00:59,895 --> 00:01:02,061
And I can't play
'cause I'm going with her... right?
20
00:01:03,294 --> 00:01:04,838
If you want.
There may not be room.
21
00:01:04,963 --> 00:01:07,650
He's got a lot of stuff...
like guitars and amplifiers...
22
00:01:08,183 --> 00:01:11,820
- Wait. What are you talking about?
- My friend Justin.
23
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:14,240
Pay attention.
That's why she can't play on Sunday.
24
00:01:15,059 --> 00:01:16,575
- Who is this Justin?
- Your turn.
25
00:01:16,745 --> 00:01:19,245
- I told you about him.
- No, you didn't.
26
00:01:19,414 --> 00:01:23,143
My friend from Omaha, plays the guitar,
he's coming to LA looking for work,
27
00:01:23,268 --> 00:01:25,376
I told him he could crash
on my couch for a few weeks.
28
00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:28,860
Come on... if you roll a six, Penny
dies horribly in a nuclear meltdown.
29
00:01:30,974 --> 00:01:33,426
See what I mean
when I say the fun is real?
30
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:37,138
Hang on. Some guy is going
to be sleeping on your couch?
31
00:01:37,589 --> 00:01:39,741
He's not "some guy." He's my friend.
32
00:01:40,076 --> 00:01:43,019
So by "friend,"
do you mean "friend friend,"
33
00:01:43,188 --> 00:01:46,046
"gay friend," or "ex-boyfriend
who you're now platonic with
34
00:01:46,171 --> 00:01:48,482
"but still might have a thing
for you friend"?
35
00:01:49,153 --> 00:01:51,277
Well, he's definitely not gay.
36
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:55,613
A definitely not gay musician
sleeping on my girlfriend's couch.
37
00:01:58,549 --> 00:02:00,620
We went out a little bit,
a long time ago.
38
00:02:00,789 --> 00:02:02,705
But we were never like "going out."
39
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:05,120
Okay, not to be pedantic,
but last I checked
40
00:02:05,245 --> 00:02:07,627
"went out" was in fact the past
tense of "going out"...
41
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,921
which I think we all know
is a popular euphemism
42
00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:11,723
for "saw each other naked."
43
00:02:13,552 --> 00:02:14,975
I'll just roll for you.
44
00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:18,512
Do you have a problem
with Justin staying with me?
45
00:02:18,773 --> 00:02:20,139
What was your first clue?
46
00:02:20,822 --> 00:02:22,691
Industrial accident.
47
00:02:24,153 --> 00:02:26,145
You know what?
Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot.
48
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:29,565
I'm not talking to you like that!
I'm saying the whole idea is idiotic!
49
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,845
"You accidentally stare
at a helium-argon laser.
50
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,758
"Lose one turn and a retina."
51
00:02:34,891 --> 00:02:36,822
How is that not talking
to me like I'm an idiot?
52
00:02:36,992 --> 00:02:39,659
It's my friend, it's my couch,
and it's my freakin' life!
53
00:02:39,828 --> 00:02:41,138
It's also your roll.
54
00:02:42,045 --> 00:02:43,496
You know what?
It is your life.
55
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,410
If you want to have some stupid
guitarist stay on your couch, then fine!
56
00:02:46,535 --> 00:02:50,294
Why don't you just rent some bunk beds
and invite The Black Eyed Peas?!
57
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,290
If I want to invite
the entire lineup of Lollapalooza
58
00:02:53,415 --> 00:02:55,841
to sleep in my apartment, I will,
and it's none of your business!
59
00:02:56,011 --> 00:02:58,427
Are you listening to yourself?
Do you know how childish you sound?
60
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:01,097
Now I'm a child?
Well, at least I'm not an idiot anymore!
61
00:03:01,321 --> 00:03:02,806
The two aren't mutually exclusive!
62
00:03:03,211 --> 00:03:04,474
You are such a...
63
00:03:04,983 --> 00:03:06,518
What the hell is he doing?!
64
00:03:06,688 --> 00:03:09,312
He's drowning us out.
He doesn't like fighting.
65
00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:11,365
Just stop!
Look, the fight is over!
66
00:03:12,085 --> 00:03:13,108
And FYI,
67
00:03:13,278 --> 00:03:15,902
you never even heard
of The Black Eyed Peas until you met me!
68
00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:17,376
I heard of 'em!
69
00:03:19,174 --> 00:03:20,905
Didn't know they were a band.
70
00:03:22,858 --> 00:03:25,161
Sheldon, she's gone.
You can turn off the blender.
71
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,593
Has your relationship reached
its inevitable ugly end?
72
00:03:36,826 --> 00:03:39,259
No, we just had a little spat.
73
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:40,904
Look on the bright side.
74
00:03:41,029 --> 00:03:42,906
As the result of Penny's forfeit,
75
00:03:43,031 --> 00:03:46,496
you have become the world's
first winner of "Research Lab."
76
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,270
Would you like
a commemorative snow cone?
77
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:54,567
Episode 307:
The Guitarist Amplification
78
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,304
Sync: Jess, Linwelin, Loky
79
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,922
www.subbercafe.fr
80
00:04:19,836 --> 00:04:21,434
I don't get
how she can just announce
81
00:04:21,559 --> 00:04:23,845
that an old boyfriend is going
to be sleeping on her couch.
82
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,474
I thought of a game
we can play in the car.
83
00:04:26,685 --> 00:04:28,018
I don't want to play a game.
84
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:31,270
It's called "Scientists."
Now, I will name three scientists,
85
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,838
then you will put them in order
86
00:04:32,963 --> 00:04:35,315
of the size of their contribution
to their respective fields.
87
00:04:35,527 --> 00:04:37,453
To make this game
even more compelling,
88
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:40,737
you must consider only the contribution
of the man to the field,
89
00:04:41,032 --> 00:04:43,105
not the validity
of the field itself.
90
00:04:43,230 --> 00:04:45,607
For example:
Abu Musa Jabir ibn Hayyan
91
00:04:45,732 --> 00:04:48,777
made a greater contribution
to the discredited field of alchemy
92
00:04:48,902 --> 00:04:51,129
than Halbert Vanderplatt
made to neurobiology.
93
00:04:51,254 --> 00:04:52,946
Okay, ready to have some fun?
94
00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:56,835
An old boyfriend
who's definitely not gay.
95
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,715
That's what a guy likes
to hear... "definitely."
96
00:04:59,926 --> 00:05:01,664
All right, I'll start
with an easy one:
97
00:05:02,473 --> 00:05:05,635
Isaac Newton, Madame Curie
and Niels Bohr.
98
00:05:06,391 --> 00:05:08,932
And then I say one little thing
and I end up being the bad guy!
99
00:05:09,144 --> 00:05:12,269
Hint: Madame Curie had
her husband to help her.
100
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,852
What am I supposed to say?
101
00:05:13,977 --> 00:05:16,273
"Sure, Penny, I'm cool
with your old boyfriend
102
00:05:16,443 --> 00:05:17,756
sleeping in your apartment."
103
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,943
"It doesn't
matter if you're cool or not
104
00:05:20,113 --> 00:05:23,195
"because I'm Penny and I'm pretty
and I can do whatever the hell I want!"
105
00:05:23,709 --> 00:05:27,432
"You think you're doing me a favor
by being in a relationship with me!"
106
00:05:27,557 --> 00:05:30,412
"I'm doing you a favor just by
being in the same room as you!"
107
00:05:30,623 --> 00:05:31,927
Leonard! Stop the car!
108
00:05:33,728 --> 00:05:34,652
What?
109
00:05:34,777 --> 00:05:37,085
I can't listen to the
two of you fight anymore.
110
00:05:42,448 --> 00:05:45,083
- Come on, we're late.
- Calm down. We'll make the movie.
111
00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:47,752
I believe my alarm is appropriate,
given the situation.
112
00:05:47,877 --> 00:05:49,280
The movie starts in 17 minutes.
113
00:05:49,405 --> 00:05:51,998
We'll need to make all the lights
on Colorado Boulevard,
114
00:05:52,123 --> 00:05:54,728
plus skip the concession stand,
and preshow urination.
115
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:59,668
Dude, I wish you had said something
before I pounded that last Red Bull.
116
00:06:00,887 --> 00:06:02,591
Go, go, Power Rangers, go!
117
00:06:08,003 --> 00:06:09,451
We're going to the movies.
118
00:06:09,707 --> 00:06:10,619
No, we're not.
119
00:06:11,915 --> 00:06:15,042
We're standing in the hallway,
suffering through an awkward encounter.
120
00:06:16,423 --> 00:06:17,500
Hang on.
121
00:06:18,319 --> 00:06:20,345
They're showing a new digital
print of Time Bandits.
122
00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:23,089
- You wouldn't want to come, would you?
- Not really, no.
123
00:06:23,301 --> 00:06:26,458
Invitation pointlessly offered,
invitation declined as expected,
124
00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:29,272
everyone's civil, nobody's fighting.
Have a nice evening.
125
00:06:31,653 --> 00:06:33,253
Just give us a minute.
126
00:06:33,501 --> 00:06:35,177
Take all the time you need.
127
00:06:39,374 --> 00:06:41,734
So, are we going to talk
about last night?
128
00:06:42,214 --> 00:06:43,611
Are you ready to apologize?
129
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,697
Wrong answer.
But thank you for playing.
130
00:06:48,217 --> 00:06:49,901
Come on.
This is stupid.
131
00:06:50,026 --> 00:06:52,036
There it is again!
You think I'm stupid!
132
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:54,914
There's a difference between
being stupid and acting stupid!
133
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:58,042
Well, there's a difference between
being a jerk and being an ass!
134
00:06:59,465 --> 00:07:01,692
No, there isn't!
They're synonyms!
135
00:07:04,656 --> 00:07:06,806
Well, that was rather unpleasant.
136
00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:10,440
Yeah, I don't think I need
my preshow urination anymore.
137
00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:15,512
When that woman moved in 3 years ago,
I told you not to talk to her,
138
00:07:15,637 --> 00:07:17,561
and now, we're going
to be late for the movies.
139
00:07:22,152 --> 00:07:25,068
Hey! Look! Amazing Spider-Man 183.
140
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,279
Got it.
141
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,843
Remember this one?
Spider-Man loses a big fight
142
00:07:29,968 --> 00:07:32,242
and then his girlfriend
breaks up with him.
143
00:07:35,651 --> 00:07:39,291
Want me to get it for you?
It'll help take your mind off things.
144
00:07:39,756 --> 00:07:42,670
- Hey, guys. What's going on?
- We need to kill a couple hours
145
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:44,616
till the next showing
of Time Bandits.
146
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,508
No problem, I was thinking
of closing early and going home, but...
147
00:07:48,947 --> 00:07:51,165
let's face it, that's just
a slightly smaller lonely room
148
00:07:51,290 --> 00:07:52,928
filled with comic books.
149
00:07:54,468 --> 00:07:55,718
Thanks, Stuart.
150
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:59,654
Let me ask you something.
Do you think it's okay for Penny
151
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:01,647
to have an ex-boyfriend sleep
on her couch?
152
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,122
- She's obviously way out of line.
- Thank you!
153
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:07,155
But if she dumps you, she'll have
a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning
154
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,489
and you'll have a new girlfriend
when you figure out how to build one.
155
00:08:12,844 --> 00:08:15,661
So the only question is:
how long until you fold?
156
00:08:16,156 --> 00:08:17,531
I am not going to fold.
157
00:08:17,656 --> 00:08:20,108
Well, excuse me, I don't think
Penny's out of line at all.
158
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,558
You don't own her.
159
00:08:21,907 --> 00:08:23,406
It's like my girl Beyoncé says:
160
00:08:23,531 --> 00:08:26,027
"If you like it,
you shoulda put a ring on it."
161
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,207
At the very least, when she found out
Leonard was upset about it,
162
00:08:31,332 --> 00:08:32,720
she should've backed off.
163
00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:35,804
Like when a guy's upset cause his friend
agreed to take a cooking class with him
164
00:08:35,929 --> 00:08:39,476
and then doesn't show up because
he's doing a juice fast with his mother?
165
00:08:40,221 --> 00:08:42,072
I didn't know
you were upset about that.
166
00:08:42,197 --> 00:08:44,102
Really! Did you miss all
the subtle indicators,
167
00:08:44,227 --> 00:08:46,192
like me saying,
"Howard, I am upset."
168
00:08:46,549 --> 00:08:48,903
- Okay, sorry.
- Maybe it means something different.
169
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:51,947
Back in India, it means
you're upset with a guy named Howard!
170
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,845
- I said I'm sorry.
- Sorry doesn't make up for the fact
171
00:08:54,970 --> 00:08:57,409
that I had to make chicken
and rice with this vegan guy.
172
00:08:57,534 --> 00:08:59,721
Do you know
what vegan chicken and rice is?
173
00:08:59,846 --> 00:09:00,846
Rice!
174
00:09:01,785 --> 00:09:03,411
Well, you think I was having fun,
175
00:09:03,536 --> 00:09:05,571
sitting around all night
listening to my mother say,
176
00:09:05,696 --> 00:09:08,248
"Have you ever peed so much
in your life?"
177
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,659
My God, you are such a mama's boy.
178
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:15,345
- Hey, don't bring my mother into this!
- You brought your mother into this!
179
00:09:15,709 --> 00:09:16,931
Stop it, both of you!
180
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,097
All this fighting, I might as well
be back with my parents!
181
00:09:20,222 --> 00:09:22,911
"Damn it, George, I told you if you
didn't quit drinkin' I'd leave you!"
182
00:09:23,036 --> 00:09:24,693
"I guess that makes you a liar.
183
00:09:24,818 --> 00:09:26,732
"Cause I'm drunk as hell
and you're still here!"
184
00:09:27,222 --> 00:09:29,484
"Stop yelling!
You're making Sheldon cry!"
185
00:09:29,609 --> 00:09:31,348
"I'll tell you
what's making Sheldon cry!
186
00:09:31,473 --> 00:09:33,197
"That I let you name him Sheldon!"
187
00:09:40,535 --> 00:09:42,385
Boy, what got him so upset?
188
00:09:43,476 --> 00:09:46,226
Oh, sure, you can tell
when Sheldon's upset.
189
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,136
Thank you very much.
Come back soon.
190
00:09:57,231 --> 00:09:59,245
With the other half of my tip.
191
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,353
Hey, Sheldon.
What are you doing here?
192
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,564
This is a restaurant.
It's lunchtime.
193
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:09,524
I would think, as a waitress,
you'd be familiar with the paradigm.
194
00:10:10,127 --> 00:10:11,374
Is Leonard coming?
195
00:10:11,863 --> 00:10:15,405
I believe he is waiting for you to come
crawling back to him and apologize.
196
00:10:15,790 --> 00:10:18,304
- That's not gonna happen.
- I assumed that would be your attitude.
197
00:10:18,429 --> 00:10:20,494
- Hence, my true purpose in coming here.
- Which is?
198
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,205
I want you to crawl back to him
and apologize.
199
00:10:23,587 --> 00:10:24,758
I'm busy.
200
00:10:24,883 --> 00:10:26,240
Excuse me, miss.
201
00:10:26,365 --> 00:10:28,080
I'd like to order lunch.
202
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,967
- Fine. What do you want?
- I have a few questions.
203
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,011
First, I notice that you offer
soup and a half-sandwich?
204
00:10:38,837 --> 00:10:41,693
Where exactly does
the half-sandwich come from?
205
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:44,226
Are you giving me half
of someone else's sandwich,
206
00:10:44,942 --> 00:10:48,077
or do I have to wait for someone else
to order the other half?
207
00:10:48,483 --> 00:10:50,565
No, Sheldon,
they just make a half-sandwich.
208
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,442
You can't make a half-sandwich.
209
00:10:52,612 --> 00:10:56,113
If it's not half of a whole sandwich,
it's just a small sandwich.
210
00:10:56,629 --> 00:10:59,700
Fine, it's soup and a small sandwich.
Is that what you want?
211
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,967
Of course not. I'll have my usual.
212
00:11:02,977 --> 00:11:03,700
Great.
213
00:11:03,825 --> 00:11:05,789
Aren't you going to ask me
if I want a beverage?
214
00:11:06,127 --> 00:11:07,564
Don't you usually get lemonade?
215
00:11:07,689 --> 00:11:08,876
Do you want lemonade?
216
00:11:09,087 --> 00:11:11,503
- Anything else?
- I want you to apologize to Leonard.
217
00:11:12,961 --> 00:11:15,293
I am not going to apologize.
I've done nothing wrong.
218
00:11:15,418 --> 00:11:17,318
- He is completely overreacting.
- Irrelevant.
219
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:20,629
The disruption in your relationship
is making my life intolerable.
220
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,724
Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon,
but this really isn't about you.
221
00:11:24,694 --> 00:11:25,944
I don't follow.
222
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:30,022
Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there.
Look, Sheldon, I have to go.
223
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,859
All right, let's assume, ad argumentum,
that in this case, Leonard is wrong.
224
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,402
Leonard is wrong.
225
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:38,694
Considering the number of transgressions
you've committed that he's overlooked,
226
00:11:38,819 --> 00:11:41,241
don't you think that, just this once,
you could return the favor?
227
00:11:41,981 --> 00:11:43,493
I'm coming. Good-bye, Sheldon.
228
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:50,906
What do you mean,
transgressions I've committed?
229
00:11:51,631 --> 00:11:54,546
Were you under the impression
Leonard has no complaints about you?
230
00:11:54,716 --> 00:11:55,846
Like what?!
231
00:11:55,971 --> 00:11:58,204
I see you, you're making
a little check sign in the air.
232
00:11:58,329 --> 00:11:59,663
Just hold your horses.
233
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:03,472
- What does Leonard complain about?
- Your driving.
234
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,454
The plethora
of stuffed animals on your bed
235
00:12:05,579 --> 00:12:07,934
that stare at him
during your amorous activities.
236
00:12:09,820 --> 00:12:11,813
Your constant tardiness,
your singing.
237
00:12:11,983 --> 00:12:13,858
- My singing?
- That's actually from my list.
238
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,151
But Leonard would be a fool
if he didn't agree with it.
239
00:12:16,846 --> 00:12:19,619
If Leonard has so many problems with me,
why hasn't he just said so?
240
00:12:19,744 --> 00:12:22,240
Because, according to him,
you're oversensitive and have a temper.
241
00:12:22,972 --> 00:12:24,826
Oh, really?
Well, then, do me a favor
242
00:12:24,996 --> 00:12:27,244
and tell Leonard
that he can drop dead!
243
00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:34,043
And she wonders
why she's constantly undertipped.
244
00:12:39,697 --> 00:12:40,881
Good, you're home.
245
00:12:41,006 --> 00:12:42,775
- I need you to do me a favor.
- Sure.
246
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,500
Go apologize to Penny.
247
00:12:45,509 --> 00:12:47,476
- What?!
- Right now would be good.
248
00:12:49,006 --> 00:12:51,186
Although, a few minutes ago
would have been better.
249
00:12:52,026 --> 00:12:55,983
Seems you don't like my stuffed animals,
my driving or my punctuality.
250
00:12:56,244 --> 00:12:58,318
What? Who would tell you
something like that?
251
00:12:58,488 --> 00:13:00,654
Why would you tell her
something like that?
252
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,323
It doesn't matter why he told me.
It's true, isn't it?
253
00:13:03,802 --> 00:13:06,279
Yeah, it's true,
but I can live with that stuff.
254
00:13:06,404 --> 00:13:08,589
What I can't live with is
you casually informing me
255
00:13:08,714 --> 00:13:11,665
that a guy's staying in your apartment
without even asking me first!
256
00:13:12,049 --> 00:13:15,095
That isn't your problem!
Your problem is you don't trust me!
257
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,339
Sheldon, have you ever once heard me say
that I don't trust Penny?
258
00:13:19,587 --> 00:13:21,466
Sheldon?
Where did he go?
259
00:13:22,270 --> 00:13:24,669
Your yelling must have
freaked him out again.
260
00:13:24,794 --> 00:13:27,681
Where are you going?! You walk away
in the middle of an argument?!
261
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,868
I'm gonna find your roommate
before he hurts himself
262
00:13:29,993 --> 00:13:31,518
trying to cross the street!
263
00:13:32,387 --> 00:13:33,690
Why didn't you say so?
264
00:13:33,815 --> 00:13:35,801
Now I need your permission
for that, too?!
265
00:13:35,926 --> 00:13:37,652
I can't read your mind, Penny!
266
00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:40,298
Really? Why not?
You're so smart, and I'm so dumb!
267
00:13:47,689 --> 00:13:49,467
Stop knocking!
It's open!
268
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,581
Tell my parents that
our dark matter research
269
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,994
is at a critical juncture,
270
00:13:54,119 --> 00:13:56,042
and I can't come home
for my cousin wedding.
271
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,773
Ask our son what we're supposed to say
to Mr. and Mrs. Cheldry,
272
00:13:59,898 --> 00:14:01,849
whose daughter, Lakshmi
is flying in from London,
273
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,650
for the sole purpose of meeting him.
274
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:05,594
I didn't ask you
to set me up with her.
275
00:14:05,763 --> 00:14:07,517
- You should be thanking us!
- Yes.
276
00:14:07,642 --> 00:14:09,723
Lakshmi just got
her stomach stapled.
277
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,192
You have an opportunity
to get in good with her
278
00:14:13,317 --> 00:14:15,687
before she loses weight,
and her self-esteem goes up.
279
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,147
I don't care!
280
00:14:17,477 --> 00:14:19,775
And why don't you think I can find
a woman for myself?
281
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,715
Because you're 27, and the closest thing
we have to a daughter-in-law
282
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,640
is that Jewish boy Howard.
283
00:14:25,593 --> 00:14:27,959
That is completely below the belt.
284
00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:31,084
Sheldon, tell my parents
that Howard and I are just friends.
285
00:14:33,461 --> 00:14:35,461
Howard and I are just friends!
286
00:14:39,275 --> 00:14:41,375
Fine. I'll come home
for Sanjay's wedding.
287
00:14:50,372 --> 00:14:52,766
What are you doing?
He's not a lost dog.
288
00:14:53,462 --> 00:14:55,156
Why don't you just let me find him
289
00:14:55,281 --> 00:14:57,268
while you sit there
hitting your imaginary brake?
290
00:14:58,209 --> 00:15:01,728
The brake might be imaginary,
but that stop sign you just ran wasn't.
291
00:15:01,853 --> 00:15:02,900
What stop sign?
292
00:15:03,025 --> 00:15:04,775
Eyes on the road.
Eyes on the road!
293
00:15:14,861 --> 00:15:18,382
Howard, answer the door!
I'm busy!
294
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:21,389
I'm busy, too!
You answer it.
295
00:15:21,514 --> 00:15:23,922
I can't! I'm on the toilet!
296
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,857
For God's sake,
I don't need to hear that!
297
00:15:26,982 --> 00:15:29,032
Can't you just say, "I'm busy"?
298
00:15:29,332 --> 00:15:32,848
I said I'm busy,
but that wasn't good enough for you!
299
00:15:33,237 --> 00:15:35,520
I hope it's one of those
home invasion deals,
300
00:15:35,645 --> 00:15:37,242
and they shoot me in the head!
301
00:15:37,832 --> 00:15:41,740
Well, if it's a home invader,
don't tell them I'm on the toilet!
302
00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:47,883
There's no one there.
303
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,494
You're hearing things,
you crazy old lady!
304
00:15:54,708 --> 00:15:56,458
Stuart, have you seen Sheldon?
305
00:15:56,584 --> 00:15:59,291
Yeah, he's over in
the graphic novel section.
306
00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,086
Built himself a little nest.
307
00:16:03,869 --> 00:16:04,869
Thank you.
308
00:16:07,516 --> 00:16:09,467
- Is everything okay?
- What do you mean?
309
00:16:10,022 --> 00:16:12,095
Sheldon told me
you and Leonard were having a fight?
310
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,457
Yeah, kind of.
It's no big thing.
311
00:16:15,582 --> 00:16:16,582
Good, good.
312
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:18,722
I love you.
313
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,939
I'm not leaving
until you talk to me.
314
00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:25,630
- What's going on?
- It's a little hard to explain.
315
00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:28,592
He does this thing where he pretends
he's in an alternate dimension
316
00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:30,845
that occupies the
same physical space we're in,
317
00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:32,720
but he can't perceive us.
318
00:16:34,457 --> 00:16:37,307
Don't flatter yourself.
I'm just ignoring you.
319
00:16:39,328 --> 00:16:42,080
Come on, Sheldon, let's go home.
Look, we're done fighting.
320
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,659
I've heard that before.
321
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:46,143
But then, the next thing you know,
I'm hiding in my bedroom,
322
00:16:46,268 --> 00:16:48,147
blaring a Richard Feynman lecture
323
00:16:48,272 --> 00:16:50,345
while my mom is shouting
that Jesus would forgive her
324
00:16:50,470 --> 00:16:52,665
if she put ground glass
in my dad's meatloaf.
325
00:16:54,128 --> 00:16:57,930
And my dad's on the roof skeet-shooting
her Franklin Mint collectible plates.
326
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:02,854
There's going to be no more shouting
and no skeet-shooting.
327
00:17:03,138 --> 00:17:05,899
Really?
Where's your friend Justin gonna sleep?
328
00:17:06,827 --> 00:17:08,499
Yeah... where's he gonna sleep?
329
00:17:08,624 --> 00:17:10,528
Oh, my God, would you let this go?!
330
00:17:10,698 --> 00:17:11,896
I'd let it go.
331
00:17:14,098 --> 00:17:15,266
Why should I let it go?
332
00:17:15,391 --> 00:17:17,577
Why don't you just tell the guy
to find another place?!
333
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:20,997
Oh, for God's sakes.
334
00:17:23,331 --> 00:17:25,205
So, you have childhood issues.
335
00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:27,174
We all have childhood issues.
336
00:17:27,299 --> 00:17:29,881
At some point, you just need
to grow up and get past them.
337
00:17:30,161 --> 00:17:31,174
Fire! Fire!
338
00:17:32,506 --> 00:17:34,219
Will you just let me
handle this, please?
339
00:17:44,374 --> 00:17:46,153
Please, try and understand.
340
00:17:46,278 --> 00:17:49,734
Leonard and I are in a relationship,
and occasionally, we're going to fight.
341
00:17:50,343 --> 00:17:53,635
But no matter what happens between us,
we will always love you.
342
00:17:56,206 --> 00:17:57,409
Right, Leonard?
343
00:17:58,149 --> 00:17:59,749
Always is a long time.
344
00:18:02,204 --> 00:18:03,354
Sure. Always.
345
00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:07,280
How about we buy you this robot,
and then we all go home?
346
00:18:09,268 --> 00:18:10,568
I want that one.
347
00:18:11,811 --> 00:18:13,174
Okay, you can have that one.
348
00:18:13,597 --> 00:18:16,067
Come on, he's just going
to play with it twice,
349
00:18:16,192 --> 00:18:19,114
and then it'll end up in his closet
with all the other junk.
350
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:21,599
Buy him the robot.
351
00:18:23,771 --> 00:18:25,519
Can I get this comic book, too?
352
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:26,855
Yes, you can.
353
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,195
We meet again.
354
00:18:43,001 --> 00:18:44,614
What did Justin say
when you told him
355
00:18:44,739 --> 00:18:46,385
he couldn't sleep on your couch?
356
00:18:46,510 --> 00:18:47,564
He's a musician.
357
00:18:47,689 --> 00:18:50,100
He'll sleep in his own vomit,
if he has to.
358
00:18:59,411 --> 00:19:03,000
I should have asked for much more
than a comic book and a robot.