1
00:00:06,669 --> 00:00:09,070
Having a little trouble
catching your breath there?
2
00:00:10,702 --> 00:00:13,202
No, no, I'm good.
3
00:00:13,203 --> 00:00:15,036
If my P.E. teachers had told me
this is what I was training for,
4
00:00:15,229 --> 00:00:16,729
I would have tried
a lot harder.
5
00:00:18,596 --> 00:00:22,830
"Do or do not.
There is no try."
6
00:00:25,098 --> 00:00:27,597
Did you just quote Star Wars?
7
00:00:27,598 --> 00:00:32,665
I believe I quoted
Empire Strikes Back.
8
00:00:34,866 --> 00:00:37,032
Oh, my God.
9
00:00:37,033 --> 00:00:39,266
I'm lying in bed
with a beautiful woman
10
00:00:39,267 --> 00:00:40,666
who can quote Yoda.
11
00:00:45,601 --> 00:00:49,001
I love you, Penny.
12
00:00:52,869 --> 00:00:54,903
Oh...
13
00:00:57,637 --> 00:01:00,336
Thank you.
14
00:01:02,238 --> 00:01:04,037
You're welcome.
15
00:01:04,871 --> 00:01:07,638
I just wanted
to put that out there.
16
00:01:07,639 --> 00:01:09,272
Oh, yeah, no,
I-I'm-I'm glad.
17
00:01:09,273 --> 00:01:10,539
Good.
18
00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:12,072
Glad is good.
Yeah.
19
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,872
Yeah...
20
00:01:14,873 --> 00:01:15,872
No, no...
21
00:01:15,873 --> 00:01:18,506
Um...
22
00:01:18,507 --> 00:01:21,707
So, it's getting
pretty late.
23
00:01:21,708 --> 00:01:23,607
We should probably
go to sleep.
Yeah.
24
00:01:23,608 --> 00:01:26,308
Okay.
Yeah, probably.
25
00:01:26,309 --> 00:01:27,909
Okay, good night, sweetie.
Good night.
26
00:01:32,243 --> 00:01:35,843
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
27
00:01:35,844 --> 00:01:39,177
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
28
00:01:39,178 --> 00:01:40,844
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
29
00:01:40,845 --> 00:01:43,344
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
30
00:01:43,345 --> 00:01:46,012
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
31
00:01:46,013 --> 00:01:48,679
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
32
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,579
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
33
00:01:50,580 --> 00:01:51,847
♪ Bang! ♪
34
00:01:51,857 --> 00:01:56,753
The Big Bang Theory 3x19
The Wheaton Recurrence
Original Air Date on April 12, 2010
35
00:01:56,763 --> 00:02:00,160
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
36
00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:06,851
Hey, Leonard, where
do you come down on giant ants?
37
00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:10,645
Sheldon says impossible.
38
00:02:10,646 --> 00:02:12,378
Howard and I say
not only possible,
39
00:02:12,379 --> 00:02:15,945
but as a mode of transportation,
way cooler than a Batmobile.
40
00:02:17,147 --> 00:02:19,113
You are ignoring
the square-cube law.
41
00:02:19,114 --> 00:02:20,580
The giant ant would be crushed
42
00:02:20,581 --> 00:02:22,313
under the weight
of its own exoskeleton.
43
00:02:22,314 --> 00:02:23,781
And for the record,
44
00:02:23,782 --> 00:02:26,415
the appropriate ranking of cool
modes of transportation is:
45
00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:28,715
jet pack, hoverboard,
transporter, Batmobile,
46
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,848
and then giant ant.
47
00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:33,449
Seriously?
48
00:02:33,450 --> 00:02:34,816
You have nothing better to do
49
00:02:34,817 --> 00:02:38,817
than sit around and discuss
the possibility of giant ants?
50
00:02:38,818 --> 00:02:40,316
What's with him?
51
00:02:40,317 --> 00:02:44,017
Perhaps he's at a sensitive
point in his monthly cycle.
52
00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:49,052
Are you saying
he's man-strating?
53
00:02:50,186 --> 00:02:52,919
Not literally.
54
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,420
But as far back
as the 17th century,
55
00:02:55,421 --> 00:02:57,387
scientists observed
a 33-day fluctuation
56
00:02:57,388 --> 00:02:58,787
in men's hormone levels.
57
00:02:58,788 --> 00:03:00,554
Interesting.
58
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:04,288
That might explain my weepy days
in the middle of the month.
59
00:03:05,322 --> 00:03:08,022
You know what I'm talking about.
60
00:03:12,624 --> 00:03:15,157
Okay, forget
giant ants.
61
00:03:15,158 --> 00:03:17,424
How about giant rabbits?
62
00:03:18,291 --> 00:03:20,391
Big or small,
I don't like rabbits.
63
00:03:20,392 --> 00:03:22,291
They always look like they're
about to say something,
64
00:03:22,292 --> 00:03:24,159
but they never do.
65
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,292
Rabbits do have
a respiratory system
66
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:27,993
that would support great size.
67
00:03:27,994 --> 00:03:30,559
And on a side note, they
are one of the few mammals
68
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,794
whose scrotum is in front
of the penis.
69
00:03:35,628 --> 00:03:39,494
Maybe that's what
they want to talk about.
70
00:03:39,495 --> 00:03:41,828
Leonard, where do you
stand on giant rabbits
71
00:03:41,829 --> 00:03:43,562
and scrotal position?
72
00:03:43,563 --> 00:03:45,829
I honestly don't care.
73
00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:47,530
Really?
74
00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:50,030
Because every time we've talked
about unusual animal genitals,
75
00:03:50,031 --> 00:03:51,730
you've always had
some pretty strong
76
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,030
and controversial opinions.
77
00:03:53,031 --> 00:03:55,464
What do you want from me?
78
00:03:55,465 --> 00:03:57,431
I just don't give a rat's ass.
79
00:03:57,432 --> 00:04:01,732
Would that be a giant rat's ass?
80
00:04:01,733 --> 00:04:04,733
For the record,
giant rats are possible.
81
00:04:04,734 --> 00:04:06,533
Can we please talk
about something else?
82
00:04:06,534 --> 00:04:07,533
Maybe something vaguely related
83
00:04:07,534 --> 00:04:09,634
to life as we know it
on this planet?
84
00:04:09,635 --> 00:04:11,634
Okay, how about this
for a topic:
85
00:04:11,635 --> 00:04:16,268
Why is Leonard being
a giant douche?
86
00:04:16,269 --> 00:04:19,668
Assuming giant douches
are possible.
87
00:04:19,669 --> 00:04:21,202
Of course they are.
88
00:04:21,203 --> 00:04:23,269
Leonard's being one.
89
00:04:23,270 --> 00:04:26,236
Maybe he's having
a lover's spat with Penny.
90
00:04:26,237 --> 00:04:27,870
No, there was no spat.
91
00:04:27,871 --> 00:04:30,271
Oh, but something happened.
92
00:04:30,272 --> 00:04:31,671
I don't want to talk about it.
93
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:34,638
But I sense you're going to and
I don't want to hear about it.
94
00:04:34,639 --> 00:04:36,338
Excuse me.
95
00:04:36,339 --> 00:04:38,105
What'd you do, Romeo?
96
00:04:38,106 --> 00:04:40,106
You pour maple syrup
all over your body
97
00:04:40,107 --> 00:04:43,306
and ask her if she was in
the mood for a short stack?
98
00:04:46,441 --> 00:04:49,908
Did you think it would be funny
to put on a pair of her panties
99
00:04:49,909 --> 00:04:53,141
and jump around, but it wound up
just creeping her out?
100
00:04:53,142 --> 00:04:55,642
What? No.
101
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,542
I'm just asking, dude.
102
00:04:57,543 --> 00:05:00,042
It happens.
103
00:05:01,577 --> 00:05:04,010
You guys still on
for bowling tonight?
104
00:05:04,011 --> 00:05:05,410
Oh, yes.
105
00:05:05,411 --> 00:05:08,677
In fact, I've prepared some
trash talk for the occasion.
106
00:05:08,678 --> 00:05:10,977
You bowl like your mama.
107
00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:13,445
Unless, of course,
she bowls well.
108
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,245
In which case,
you bowl nothing like her.
109
00:05:15,246 --> 00:05:18,612
Oh. Ouch.
110
00:05:18,613 --> 00:05:22,547
That is what is referred
to as a burn on you.
111
00:05:24,347 --> 00:05:26,614
Did you ask her
to start waxing?
112
00:05:26,615 --> 00:05:27,581
No.
113
00:05:27,582 --> 00:05:29,548
Did you start waxing?
114
00:05:29,549 --> 00:05:30,681
No.
115
00:05:30,682 --> 00:05:32,348
While making love,
116
00:05:32,349 --> 00:05:34,248
did you accidentally
spank your own ass
117
00:05:34,249 --> 00:05:36,550
and cry out, "Mommy"?
118
00:05:43,518 --> 00:05:45,517
I'm walking away from you now.
119
00:05:45,518 --> 00:05:47,884
That wasn't a no.
120
00:05:47,885 --> 00:05:50,719
Yeah, I think
we're getting close.
121
00:05:51,886 --> 00:05:55,519
Did you take a Benadryl and fall
asleep while pleasuring her?
122
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,353
Because you can die that way.
123
00:05:58,354 --> 00:06:01,220
Oh, that would be
a good way to go.
124
00:06:03,089 --> 00:06:04,787
Hi.
125
00:06:04,788 --> 00:06:05,722
Oh, hey.
126
00:06:05,723 --> 00:06:06,855
Good, Penny.
127
00:06:06,856 --> 00:06:08,655
bowling tonight
at 7:00.
128
00:06:08,656 --> 00:06:10,656
Oh, right, bowling.
129
00:06:10,657 --> 00:06:12,889
You don't have to come
if you don't want to.
130
00:06:12,890 --> 00:06:14,390
No, no, it's okay.
131
00:06:14,391 --> 00:06:17,023
I mean, let's face it, you guys
would get creamed without me.
132
00:06:17,024 --> 00:06:18,390
We would indeed.
133
00:06:18,391 --> 00:06:19,790
In this particular case,
134
00:06:19,791 --> 00:06:22,658
your lack of femininity
works to our advantage.
135
00:06:24,859 --> 00:06:27,358
It's always nice
chatting with you, Sheldon.
136
00:06:27,359 --> 00:06:29,292
Sarcasm?
137
00:06:29,293 --> 00:06:32,193
Thinly veiled contempt.
138
00:06:32,194 --> 00:06:35,326
7:00.
Got it.
139
00:06:35,327 --> 00:06:37,793
Pacific Daylight time!
Bite me!
140
00:06:37,794 --> 00:06:41,561
Please reserve that butch spirit
for the lanes.
141
00:06:48,863 --> 00:06:51,296
I thought you were bringing
your own bowling shoes.
142
00:06:51,297 --> 00:06:54,764
These are my own bowling shoes.
143
00:06:54,765 --> 00:06:56,731
Then what's with
the disinfectant?
144
00:06:56,732 --> 00:06:59,098
I know where my feet have been.
145
00:07:03,499 --> 00:07:04,532
Hey, Penny!
146
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:06,666
And you guys.
147
00:07:08,101 --> 00:07:11,400
Albino Bob couldn't make it,
so I brought a substitute.
148
00:07:11,401 --> 00:07:13,533
I believe some of you know
149
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:16,000
Wil Wheaton.
150
00:07:18,069 --> 00:07:19,868
Hi, Sheldon. How's it going?
151
00:07:19,869 --> 00:07:22,502
Well, well, well.
152
00:07:22,503 --> 00:07:24,435
If it isn't Wil Wheaton,
153
00:07:24,436 --> 00:07:27,069
the Green Goblin
to my Spider-Man.
154
00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:29,369
the Pope Paul V
to my Galileo,
155
00:07:29,370 --> 00:07:32,304
the Internet Explorer
to my Firefox.
156
00:07:32,305 --> 00:07:34,038
You're not still
carrying a grudge
157
00:07:34,039 --> 00:07:37,071
because I beat you at
that card tournament, are you?
158
00:07:37,072 --> 00:07:38,505
I'm the proud owner
159
00:07:38,506 --> 00:07:40,705
of WilWheatonstinks.com, .net,
and .org.
160
00:07:40,706 --> 00:07:42,072
What does that tell you?
161
00:07:42,073 --> 00:07:45,873
It tells me that I am
living rent-free right here.
162
00:07:46,707 --> 00:07:48,240
You ready to bowl?
163
00:07:48,241 --> 00:07:49,907
Oh, I'm ready.
164
00:07:49,908 --> 00:07:52,741
I don't know if Stuart told you
what you're up against tonight,
165
00:07:52,742 --> 00:07:55,274
but before you stands
the co-captain of the
166
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:59,642
East Texas Christian Youth
Holy Roller Bowling League
championship team.
167
00:08:00,343 --> 00:08:02,976
Seven- to 12-year-old division.
168
00:08:02,977 --> 00:08:05,376
Also, Penny's
pretty good.
169
00:08:07,678 --> 00:08:10,444
Great. Then it's on.
170
00:08:12,078 --> 00:08:17,178
Oh, foolish Wil Wheaton,
it was never off.
171
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,912
Yes!
172
00:08:20,913 --> 00:08:23,246
A common spare.
173
00:08:23,247 --> 00:08:26,481
The Miss Congeniality
of the bowling pageant.
174
00:08:26,482 --> 00:08:27,681
Before you jump
on Twitter
175
00:08:27,682 --> 00:08:30,014
to tout your modest
accomplishment,
176
00:08:30,015 --> 00:08:32,482
watch how it's really done.
177
00:08:32,483 --> 00:08:35,715
I am the ball.
178
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,816
My thoughts are its thoughts.
179
00:08:38,817 --> 00:08:41,350
Its holes are my holes.
180
00:08:50,052 --> 00:08:51,952
Yes.
181
00:08:51,953 --> 00:08:53,285
Tweet that,
Tweety Bird.
182
00:08:53,286 --> 00:08:56,719
Hey, I just wanted
to tell you
183
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,053
I'm a big fan.
184
00:08:58,054 --> 00:08:59,487
Oh, thanks.
185
00:08:59,488 --> 00:09:02,020
I'm sure you're probably sick
of Star Trek questions,
186
00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:04,387
but Whoopi Goldberg--
you ever hit that?
187
00:09:07,856 --> 00:09:10,655
Ah, beer.
188
00:09:10,656 --> 00:09:14,555
The magic elixir that can turn
this poor, shy Indian boy
189
00:09:14,556 --> 00:09:16,823
into the life of the party.
190
00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,390
Oh, yeah.
191
00:09:24,358 --> 00:09:26,291
Chili cheese fry?
192
00:09:26,292 --> 00:09:28,892
Yes. I love
chili cheese fries.
193
00:09:28,893 --> 00:09:30,458
Really? You love them?
194
00:09:30,459 --> 00:09:31,593
Yeah, why?
195
00:09:31,594 --> 00:09:33,693
No reason.
I'm just glad to hear
196
00:09:33,694 --> 00:09:37,360
you're comfortable saying
you love something.
197
00:09:37,361 --> 00:09:39,827
Do you really want to get
into this right now?
198
00:09:39,828 --> 00:09:41,494
Get into what?
199
00:09:41,495 --> 00:09:43,595
Why wouldn't you love
the chili cheese fries?
200
00:09:43,596 --> 00:09:45,728
They've been in your
life a long time.
201
00:09:45,729 --> 00:09:47,028
They make you happy.
202
00:09:47,029 --> 00:09:48,729
They deserve to know.
203
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:51,662
Look, you just caught me
by surprise last night.
204
00:09:51,663 --> 00:09:53,296
I didn't know what to say.
205
00:09:53,297 --> 00:09:55,230
Okay, well, now you've had
some time to think about it.
206
00:09:55,231 --> 00:09:56,497
So, what do you want to say?
207
00:09:56,498 --> 00:09:57,830
I'm not sure.
208
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,698
How can you not be sure?
209
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,664
Okay, this isn't the place
to have this conversation.
210
00:10:01,665 --> 00:10:03,998
No, the place to have
the conversation was in bed
211
00:10:03,999 --> 00:10:05,632
after I said, "I love yo""
212
00:10:05,633 --> 00:10:07,532
and you said, "Thank you.
Good night""
213
00:10:07,533 --> 00:10:09,699
Don't push it, Leonard.
214
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:11,600
I am not pushing anything.
You are.
215
00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:14,500
You don't get to decide when
I'm ready to say "I love you!"
216
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:22,902
Ah, the premature
"I love you."
217
00:10:22,903 --> 00:10:27,202
I guessed "premature."
Does that count?
218
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:34,783
Penny.
219
00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:36,809
Penny.
220
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,439
Penny.
221
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:43,240
What?
222
00:10:43,241 --> 00:10:44,874
This is for you.
223
00:10:46,308 --> 00:10:47,841
Ice cream?
224
00:10:47,842 --> 00:10:51,408
I've been familiarizing myself
with female emotional crises
225
00:10:51,409 --> 00:10:54,676
by studying the
comic strip Cathy.
226
00:10:56,577 --> 00:11:00,877
When she's upset, she says,
"Ack!" and eats ice cream.
227
00:11:03,411 --> 00:11:05,511
Um...
228
00:11:05,512 --> 00:11:07,144
Ack!
229
00:11:08,579 --> 00:11:12,312
If you were a cat, I would have
brought you a lasagna.
230
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,812
Did Leonard send you over here?
231
00:11:15,813 --> 00:11:17,513
No, we haven't spoken
232
00:11:17,514 --> 00:11:19,413
since your abrupt departure
last night
233
00:11:19,414 --> 00:11:20,947
caused us to forfeit to Stuart
234
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,214
and his dastardly ringer
Wil Wheaton.
235
00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:25,281
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
236
00:11:25,282 --> 00:11:28,849
I'm not too proud to admit
that I cried myself to sleep.
237
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:30,016
Again, I'm sorry.
238
00:11:30,017 --> 00:11:32,216
And let me tell you,
sleep did not
239
00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:34,282
come easily with Leonard
in the next room
240
00:11:34,283 --> 00:11:37,250
singing along
with Alanis Morrisette.
241
00:11:39,018 --> 00:11:40,283
You're kidding.
242
00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:43,084
No. Clearly another woman
in dire need of ice cream.
243
00:11:44,119 --> 00:11:45,785
All right, Sheldon,
what part of this
244
00:11:45,786 --> 00:11:47,252
is supposed to make me
feel better?
245
00:11:47,253 --> 00:11:48,885
The part where
I tell you
246
00:11:48,886 --> 00:11:50,285
I've engineered a rematch
247
00:11:50,286 --> 00:11:52,586
with Stuart's team
for tonight.
248
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,487
Oh, honey, I don't know.
249
00:11:54,488 --> 00:11:56,420
Things are a little weird
with Leonard right now.
250
00:11:56,421 --> 00:11:58,587
You want me to remove
him from the team?
251
00:11:58,588 --> 00:12:00,388
I'm the captain.
I can do that.
252
00:12:00,389 --> 00:12:03,022
No, no, that's okay.
253
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,589
Just let me talk to him,
and I'll get back to you.
254
00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:08,322
When are you going
to talk to him?
255
00:12:08,323 --> 00:12:10,590
I don't know.
256
00:12:10,591 --> 00:12:12,890
He's in the laundry room now.
Now woulbe a good time.
257
00:12:12,891 --> 00:12:16,124
You're not gonna leave me alone
until I do it, are you?
258
00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:19,457
Oh, I think we both know
the answer to that question.
259
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,159
I think we should
talk now.
260
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,860
Wha...? No, it's okay.
261
00:12:29,861 --> 00:12:32,460
We don't have to talk 'cause
there's nothing to talk about.
262
00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:33,494
Everything's good.
263
00:12:33,495 --> 00:12:35,061
Really?
264
00:12:35,062 --> 00:12:36,560
So, you didn't get all snarky
265
00:12:36,561 --> 00:12:39,895
'cause I said somethingice
to a bowl of chili fries?
266
00:12:39,896 --> 00:12:42,995
All right, maybe I overreacted.
267
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:46,429
So we're in two different places
emotionally. So what?
268
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:49,397
And maybe I'm a little ahead
of you. That's fine.
269
00:12:49,398 --> 00:12:52,197
In fact, it makes sense,
'cause let's face it,
270
00:12:52,198 --> 00:12:55,164
I've been in this relationship
two years longer than you.
271
00:12:57,133 --> 00:13:00,399
Look, Leonard, you have
how much I care about you.
272
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,298
It's just that I've
said the "L" word
273
00:13:02,299 --> 00:13:05,566
too soon before, and it
didn't work out very well.
274
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,199
Really?
275
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,767
I wouldn't know
what that's like.
276
00:13:08,768 --> 00:13:10,100
I'm sorry.
277
00:13:10,101 --> 00:13:12,067
You know what I'm
talking about, though.
278
00:13:12,068 --> 00:13:13,035
Yeah, I do.
279
00:13:13,036 --> 00:13:15,468
So, we're good?
280
00:13:15,469 --> 00:13:18,068
Yes, that's what
I'm telling you.
281
00:13:18,069 --> 00:13:20,302
We are good. We are great.
282
00:13:20,303 --> 00:13:22,403
All right! Fence mended,
problem swept under the rug.
283
00:13:22,404 --> 00:13:24,536
Time to bowl!
284
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:26,936
Yes, I was eavesdropping.
285
00:13:26,937 --> 00:13:28,771
There's a lot at stake here.
286
00:13:31,538 --> 00:13:33,304
Attention, all bowlers:
287
00:13:33,305 --> 00:13:36,805
I've taken the liberty of having
these made for our rematch.
288
00:13:39,106 --> 00:13:40,673
"The Wesley Crushers"?
289
00:13:40,674 --> 00:13:42,073
No, not The Wesley Crushers.
290
00:13:42,074 --> 00:13:44,306
The Wesley Crushers.
291
00:13:44,307 --> 00:13:45,440
I don't get it.
292
00:13:45,441 --> 00:13:46,674
Wesley Crusher was
293
00:13:46,675 --> 00:13:49,541
Wil Wheaton's character
on Star Trek.
294
00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:50,775
Still don't get it.
295
00:13:50,776 --> 00:13:53,142
It's a blindingly clever play
on words.
296
00:13:53,143 --> 00:13:55,776
By appropriating his character's
name and adding the S,
297
00:13:55,777 --> 00:14:00,443
we imply that we we'll be
the crushers of Wesley.
298
00:14:01,377 --> 00:14:02,643
Okay, I'm sorry, honey,
299
00:14:02,644 --> 00:14:04,877
but The Wesley Crushers sounds
like a bunch of people
300
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,044
who like Wesley Crusher.
301
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:08,245
No! Again,
it's not the Wesley Crushers.
302
00:14:08,246 --> 00:14:10,811
It's the Wesley Crushers.
303
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,546
No, if you want it to mean
you're crushing Wesley,
304
00:14:15,547 --> 00:14:17,646
it'd be the Wesley Crushers.
305
00:14:17,647 --> 00:14:19,579
Do you people even hear
yourselves?
306
00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:21,247
It's not The Wesley Crushers.
307
00:14:21,248 --> 00:14:22,580
It's not The Wesley Crushers.
308
00:14:22,581 --> 00:14:25,114
It's The Wesley Crushers.
309
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:26,214
Hey, look.
310
00:14:26,215 --> 00:14:28,081
They named their team after me.
311
00:14:29,149 --> 00:14:30,615
No, it's not the...
312
00:14:30,616 --> 00:14:32,282
Never mind.
313
00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:38,450
So, we're all clear on the bet
and the stakes?
314
00:14:38,451 --> 00:14:41,217
Oh, yes. The losers will be
publicly humiliated
315
00:14:41,218 --> 00:14:43,484
in a fashion to be chosen
by the victor.
316
00:14:43,485 --> 00:14:47,352
I plan on having you
publish a scientific paper
317
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:50,952
expounding the discredited
Velikovsky hypothesis.
318
00:14:51,787 --> 00:14:54,286
Ouch again.
319
00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:57,253
Hey, Sheldon,
320
00:14:58,255 --> 00:14:59,720
I just wanted you to know
321
00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:01,754
that I'm really looking forward
to wiping the floor with you.
322
00:15:01,755 --> 00:15:03,021
Oh, yes?
323
00:15:03,022 --> 00:15:06,689
Well, before I respond,
let me ask you a question.
324
00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:09,689
Is your mother
a good or poor bowler?
325
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,190
After you.
326
00:15:17,191 --> 00:15:19,224
No, after you... as we are
327
00:15:19,225 --> 00:15:23,024
currently crushing you, Wesley.
328
00:15:24,426 --> 00:15:26,059
It's customary
329
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:29,426
for the player on the right-hand
lane to bowl first.
330
00:15:30,694 --> 00:15:32,726
All right.
331
00:15:40,862 --> 00:15:42,695
It's a custom, not a rule.
332
00:15:42,696 --> 00:15:46,029
I so loathe you.
333
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:48,096
That's right, Sheldon.
334
00:15:48,097 --> 00:15:50,430
Embrace the dark side.
335
00:15:52,597 --> 00:15:55,397
That's not even
from your franchise!
336
00:15:56,265 --> 00:15:58,265
I, um, I want you
to know that
337
00:15:58,266 --> 00:16:01,699
even though we're
on opposite sides,
338
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:03,932
I, I bear you no ill will.
339
00:16:03,933 --> 00:16:06,399
Thank you, Stuart.
It's nice to know.
340
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,700
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
341
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,233
People from
opposite sides
342
00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:10,866
often have good
relationships.
343
00:16:10,867 --> 00:16:12,567
You know,
Romeo and Juliet...
344
00:16:12,568 --> 00:16:15,301
Tony and Maria
from West Side Story,
345
00:16:15,302 --> 00:16:20,369
what's-his-name and the
big blue chick in Avatar.
346
00:16:21,370 --> 00:16:23,602
I'm gonna bowl now.
347
00:16:26,538 --> 00:16:28,370
Be the ball, Howard.
348
00:16:28,371 --> 00:16:30,937
Leave me alone, Sheldon.
349
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:40,972
You weren't the ball.
350
00:16:42,207 --> 00:16:44,907
Hey, thanks.
351
00:16:44,908 --> 00:16:46,206
This is fun, huh?
352
00:16:46,207 --> 00:16:47,506
Yeah.
353
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,574
It's good that we got out
and did something physical.
354
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:52,041
Mm-hmm.
Gets us out of our heads.
355
00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,541
You get in your head,
356
00:16:53,542 --> 00:16:55,241
you start to overthink,
overanalyze,
357
00:16:55,242 --> 00:16:56,542
obsess, you worry.
358
00:16:56,543 --> 00:16:58,042
That's not what
we're doing tonight.
359
00:16:58,043 --> 00:17:00,042
Tonight we're just throwing
a ball at some pins.
360
00:17:00,043 --> 00:17:01,476
Yeah, that's right.
361
00:17:01,477 --> 00:17:03,177
Mm-hmm, and someday--
we don't know when--
362
00:17:03,178 --> 00:17:04,876
maybe you'll love me back.
363
00:17:07,244 --> 00:17:08,444
Ooh, I'm up.
364
00:17:11,112 --> 00:17:14,312
ALL
Shel-don! Shel-don!
Shel-don! Shel-don!
365
00:17:14,312 --> 00:17:15,912
Excuse me.
366
00:17:15,913 --> 00:17:20,280
I don't know who you're chanting
for as I am currently the ball.
367
00:17:21,614 --> 00:17:24,047
The ball! The ball!
368
00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:29,548
The ball! The ball!
The ball! The ball!
369
00:17:30,348 --> 00:17:32,449
Thank you, Jesus!
370
00:17:34,650 --> 00:17:36,549
As my mother would say.
371
00:17:41,350 --> 00:17:42,817
I'm glad you
patched things up
372
00:17:42,818 --> 00:17:44,150
with your boyfriend.
373
00:17:44,151 --> 00:17:46,217
Oh, yeah, me, too.
374
00:17:46,218 --> 00:17:48,251
It's always tough when
the "L" bomb gets dropped
375
00:17:48,252 --> 00:17:49,884
and you're not
ready for it.
376
00:17:49,885 --> 00:17:51,351
Tell me about it.
377
00:17:51,352 --> 00:17:53,152
I dated this one girl,
378
00:17:53,153 --> 00:17:56,052
and I told her
that I loved her,
379
00:17:56,053 --> 00:17:58,386
and she said
she wasn't sure.
380
00:17:58,387 --> 00:18:01,320
And she strung me along
for almost two years.
381
00:18:01,321 --> 00:18:02,587
It was brutal.
382
00:18:02,588 --> 00:18:04,587
Oh, I'm sorry.
383
00:18:04,588 --> 00:18:05,787
Thanks.
384
00:18:05,788 --> 00:18:08,655
I wish she had just broken up
with me right there,
385
00:18:08,656 --> 00:18:11,122
and put me out
of my misery.
386
00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:12,122
Really?
387
00:18:12,123 --> 00:18:13,522
Yeah, would have
been kinder.
388
00:18:13,523 --> 00:18:14,823
Wil, you're up.
389
00:18:14,824 --> 00:18:16,457
Oh, that's me.
390
00:18:20,858 --> 00:18:23,691
Did you let Wil Wheaton
get in your head?
391
00:18:23,692 --> 00:18:24,958
What are you talking about?
392
00:18:24,959 --> 00:18:27,759
He's evil.
He plays evil mind games.
393
00:18:27,759 --> 00:18:29,625
Did he tell you
his grandmother died?
394
00:18:29,626 --> 00:18:30,692
No!
395
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:32,493
Well, if he does,
don't believe it.
396
00:18:32,494 --> 00:18:35,126
He's not above playing
the dead meemaw card.
397
00:18:38,462 --> 00:18:40,527
Yes!
398
00:18:40,528 --> 00:18:43,028
Enjoy the accolades now,
Wil Wheaton,
399
00:18:43,029 --> 00:18:45,161
but like your time
on Star Trek: Next Generation,
400
00:18:45,162 --> 00:18:48,628
your smug self-satisfaction
will be short-lived.
401
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,296
Penny, you're up.
402
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,363
All right, remember,
his meemaw's alive
403
00:18:53,364 --> 00:18:54,530
and be the ball.
404
00:18:54,531 --> 00:18:56,430
Yeah, I got it.
405
00:18:56,431 --> 00:18:57,964
We really need
a strike here.
406
00:18:57,965 --> 00:18:58,931
I know.
407
00:18:58,932 --> 00:19:00,798
So just take your time
and concentrate.
408
00:19:00,799 --> 00:19:01,765
Leonard, stop pressuring me.
409
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:02,832
I'm not pressuring you.
410
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:04,698
Yeah, you are!
Just back off!
411
00:19:04,699 --> 00:19:06,466
Okay, I'm sorry.
412
00:19:06,467 --> 00:19:07,499
I'll shut up.
413
00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:11,166
I didn't mean "shut up."
414
00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:15,134
Fine. Just tell me what to do,
and I'll do it.
415
00:19:15,135 --> 00:19:17,967
No...
416
00:19:17,968 --> 00:19:19,135
this isn't fair
417
00:19:19,136 --> 00:19:20,835
to you, Leonard. I'm sorry.
418
00:19:22,169 --> 00:19:23,502
Wait! Where are you going?
419
00:19:23,503 --> 00:19:24,836
Penny, come back!
420
00:19:24,837 --> 00:19:26,203
I'll get you ice cream!
421
00:19:26,204 --> 00:19:28,503
No, let her go.
422
00:19:28,504 --> 00:19:29,636
Are you insane?
423
00:19:29,637 --> 00:19:31,837
If she leaves, it's over!
424
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:35,170
I'm pretty sure
it's already over.
425
00:19:35,171 --> 00:19:37,904
Tough luck, Sheldon.
426
00:19:39,172 --> 00:19:41,805
You did this, didn't you?
427
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,972
Do you think I would
really break up a couple
428
00:19:43,973 --> 00:19:45,372
just to win
a bowling match?
429
00:19:45,373 --> 00:19:47,740
No, I suppose not.
430
00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:49,806
Good. Keep thinking that.
431
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,974
Whea-ton!
432
00:20:01,310 --> 00:20:02,644
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah,
I'm telling you,
433
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:07,143
the Match.com chicks are much
looser than on eHarmony.
434
00:20:09,278 --> 00:20:11,444
You know,
I-I gotta call you back.
435
00:20:11,445 --> 00:20:14,078
I won a bet,
and it's time to collect.
436
00:20:27,548 --> 00:20:30,781
I don't know about you,
but I feel empowered.
437
00:20:30,782 --> 00:20:33,148
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