1 00:00:01,718 --> 00:00:05,021 Buona sera, Luigi's Pizza. 2 00:00:05,022 --> 00:00:06,556 Buona sera. 3 00:00:06,557 --> 00:00:09,442 It means good evening in Italian. 4 00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,112 May I say, having to explain that to you calls into question 5 00:00:12,190 --> 00:00:15,325 the authenticity of your ristorante? 6 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,617 Okay, I'm out of here. 7 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,268 Un momento. 8 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:20,736 Oh, for heaven's sake. 9 00:00:20,737 --> 00:00:22,772 Now you're being deliberately stupid. 10 00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,208 Where are you going? 11 00:00:25,209 --> 00:00:26,709 I'm having dinner with Priya at Raj's. 12 00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:28,711 I think Howard's going to be there. You want to join us? 13 00:00:28,712 --> 00:00:30,246 But tonight's Thursday. 14 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,048 On Thursdays, everybody comes over here 15 00:00:32,049 --> 00:00:33,482 and has pizza. 16 00:00:33,483 --> 00:00:34,951 Or a reasonable facsimile 17 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,153 prepared by someone claiming to be Luigi, 18 00:00:37,154 --> 00:00:39,889 but who sounds suspiciously like Jackie Chan. 19 00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:43,092 Can't we make a one-time exception for tonight? 20 00:00:43,093 --> 00:00:44,493 We could. 21 00:00:44,494 --> 00:00:46,812 We could also stop using the letter "M," 22 00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:50,866 but I think that idea is isguided and oronic. 23 00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,468 Just come with me to Raj's. 24 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,854 Well, I don't want to go to a party. 25 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,906 It's not a party. It's the same group of people 26 00:00:56,907 --> 00:00:58,524 who hang out here hanging out over there. 27 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:02,111 I'm sorry, but five people eating and chatting is a party. 28 00:01:02,112 --> 00:01:04,847 How come it's not a party when we do it here? 29 00:01:04,848 --> 00:01:06,549 Because we don't throw parties. 30 00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,551 I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon. 31 00:01:08,552 --> 00:01:10,369 I'm going to see Priya. Everyone's over there. 32 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:11,487 You coming or not? 33 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,673 Well, no, sir, and do you know why? 34 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,691 In a word: tradition. 35 00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:19,395 Every Thursday night for the last eight years, 36 00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:22,048 you and I and our friends have gathered here 37 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:26,035 in this very spot to break bread covered with cheese and sauce, 38 00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:28,170 discuss the issues of the day, 39 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,439 and yes, share a laugh or two. 40 00:01:31,541 --> 00:01:34,343 But I guess our rich heritage means nothing to you. 41 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,544 I guess you're right. 42 00:01:35,545 --> 00:01:36,845 - See you later. - Wait! 43 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:38,648 Leonard! Wait! 44 00:01:38,649 --> 00:01:40,549 What am I going to do for dinner? 45 00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:42,652 Come with me to Raj's and eat there. 46 00:01:42,653 --> 00:01:43,953 I can't do that. 47 00:01:43,954 --> 00:01:47,156 What if he serves haggis and blood pudding? 48 00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:50,993 I really doubt that's what he'll serve. 49 00:01:50,994 --> 00:01:52,561 But what if he does? 50 00:01:52,562 --> 00:01:53,862 I'll be obliged to dine 51 00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:56,365 on liver and lungs stuffed in a sheep's stomach. 52 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:59,135 And frankly, blood pudding is essentially the same thing. 53 00:01:59,136 --> 00:02:01,337 I don't know why he's serving both. 54 00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:02,672 What do you want to do? 55 00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:05,274 You want to come with me, or do you want to sit here alone? 56 00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,209 No, I'll go to your haggis party. 57 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,928 But I'm telling you. 58 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:13,316 This is adness. This is utter and complete adness. 59 00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:16,936 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 60 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:20,272 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 61 00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,907 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 62 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:24,443 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 63 00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:27,129 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 64 00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:29,765 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 65 00:02:29,766 --> 00:02:31,701 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 66 00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:32,681 ♪ Bang! ♪ 67 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:35,394 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x17 ♪ The Toast Derivation Original Air Date on February 24, 2011 68 00:02:35,419 --> 00:02:37,519 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com == 69 00:02:37,594 --> 00:02:39,444 - Oh, dear! - What? 70 00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:40,834 Raj's television. 71 00:02:40,835 --> 00:02:42,202 I just realized 72 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:44,804 we're about to spend an evening watching a plasma screen 73 00:02:44,805 --> 00:02:48,041 with a cluster of dead pixels in the upper left-hand corner. 74 00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,592 So don't watch TV. 75 00:02:49,593 --> 00:02:50,844 Read a book. 76 00:02:50,845 --> 00:02:52,479 And be a social pariah? 77 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,414 Oh, you know that's not my style. 78 00:02:54,415 --> 00:02:56,883 Ugh! 79 00:02:58,753 --> 00:03:02,322 The audible sigh is a show of exasperation, right? 80 00:03:02,323 --> 00:03:03,523 Right. 81 00:03:03,524 --> 00:03:06,393 Is it about me or the dead pixels? 82 00:03:07,695 --> 00:03:09,229 Hey, you're just in time. 83 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,530 We made Tex-Mex. 84 00:03:10,531 --> 00:03:11,731 Oh, sounds great. 85 00:03:11,732 --> 00:03:13,733 Oh, Indians making Tex-Mex. 86 00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:16,102 Might as well have had the Chinese pizza. 87 00:03:17,705 --> 00:03:18,938 Hey, you. 88 00:03:18,939 --> 00:03:21,174 Hi. 89 00:03:21,175 --> 00:03:23,610 That's got to be fun for you, huh? 90 00:03:25,012 --> 00:03:27,414 Watching Hofstadter suck the saliva 91 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,882 out of your sister's mouth? 92 00:03:30,117 --> 00:03:32,585 Excuse me. Before this evening goes any further, 93 00:03:32,586 --> 00:03:35,755 we need to decide where everyone is going to sit. 94 00:03:35,756 --> 00:03:37,790 There is no assigned seats, Sheldon. 95 00:03:37,791 --> 00:03:39,626 Just sit anywhere. Make yourself comfortable. 96 00:03:39,627 --> 00:03:41,060 Oh, what fun. 97 00:03:41,061 --> 00:03:44,097 We're like hippies at a love-in. 98 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,399 Just sit here. 99 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,968 Right on, man. Right on. 100 00:03:50,571 --> 00:03:52,472 Oh, look. 101 00:03:52,473 --> 00:03:57,210 it's Harry Potter and 98% of The Sorcerer's Stone. 102 00:03:57,211 --> 00:04:00,413 Okay, we've got fajitas 103 00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,999 with all the fixins, so you make your own. 104 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,250 Wonderful. 105 00:04:04,251 --> 00:04:06,052 Dinner, some assembly required. 106 00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:09,672 Do you want a margarita, Sheldon? 107 00:04:09,673 --> 00:04:10,757 A margarita?! 108 00:04:10,758 --> 00:04:13,393 Where are we?! What is happening?! 109 00:04:14,562 --> 00:04:17,096 Oh. Hey, Sheldon. 110 00:04:17,097 --> 00:04:18,131 What can I get you? 111 00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:20,366 Water. Neat. 112 00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:22,552 With a little umbrella. 113 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,337 Where are all your friends? 114 00:04:24,338 --> 00:04:27,724 Sadly, Penny, this evening, I am the Dark Knight, 115 00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,893 roaming these mean streets alone. 116 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,212 A windbreaker for my cape, 117 00:04:32,213 --> 00:04:36,282 and a stern expression for my cowl. 118 00:04:37,084 --> 00:04:39,319 Okay. 119 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,721 Excuse me? 120 00:04:41,722 --> 00:04:44,390 Isn't this the point where the world-weary barkeep 121 00:04:44,391 --> 00:04:46,493 absentmindedly wipes down the bar 122 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:49,229 and coaxes the woes out of the troubled patron? 123 00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:52,916 Well, I was getting your stupid umbrella, but all right. 124 00:04:55,769 --> 00:04:58,037 What's troubling you, buddy? 125 00:04:59,974 --> 00:05:03,309 I don't think your heart's in it, but since you asked... 126 00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:06,613 Apparently, because Leonard is dating Raj's sister, 127 00:05:06,614 --> 00:05:08,932 we're all forced to hang out at his apartment. 128 00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,518 Oh, the horror. 129 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:12,769 Indeed. 130 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:15,121 Yeah, at one point, Raj put on reggae music, 131 00:05:15,122 --> 00:05:17,156 and his sister took off her shoes. 132 00:05:17,157 --> 00:05:19,792 It was like the last days of Caligula. 133 00:05:24,331 --> 00:05:26,533 Oh, I have to get this. 134 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,334 Umbrella? 135 00:05:29,169 --> 00:05:30,870 Ugh! 136 00:05:30,871 --> 00:05:33,740 Wonder what she's exasperated about. 137 00:05:33,741 --> 00:05:35,074 Hello? 138 00:05:35,075 --> 00:05:37,010 Sheldon, are you all right? 139 00:05:37,011 --> 00:05:38,678 When last we spoke, you were going to 140 00:05:38,679 --> 00:05:41,214 take a taxi home from Raj's, but according to Facebook, 141 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,149 you just checked in at the Cheesecake Factory. 142 00:05:43,150 --> 00:05:44,784 Yes, I was in a taxi, 143 00:05:44,785 --> 00:05:46,919 but the driver didn't look at all 144 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,521 like the photograph on his license, 145 00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:51,157 so I leapt out and ran for it. 146 00:05:51,158 --> 00:05:52,559 Wise. 147 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,444 There you go. 148 00:05:54,445 --> 00:05:56,863 Just like recovering alcoholics drink in the Caribbean. 149 00:05:56,864 --> 00:05:58,781 Hi, bestie. 150 00:05:58,782 --> 00:06:00,366 Oh. Hi, Amy. 151 00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:01,668 How you been? 152 00:06:01,669 --> 00:06:03,269 Fine. 153 00:06:03,270 --> 00:06:06,139 From this angle, I can see up your nose. 154 00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:08,841 Yeah, it's a great time to be alive, isn't it? 155 00:06:08,842 --> 00:06:10,543 Don't worry. My problems can wait 156 00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:13,012 while you two hens finish your clucking. 157 00:06:13,847 --> 00:06:15,715 Look, Sheldon, Leonard is dating Priya. 158 00:06:15,716 --> 00:06:17,250 She is staying with Raj. 159 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:20,119 That means you're all probably gonna be hanging out there more. 160 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:23,122 Penny, I'm sorry you got dragged into this. 161 00:06:23,123 --> 00:06:24,324 I know you're devastated 162 00:06:24,325 --> 00:06:26,659 that your ex-boyfriend has found an exciting new lover 163 00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:28,761 with flawless, caramel-colored skin. 164 00:06:28,762 --> 00:06:31,998 Okay, I'm not upset about Leonard and Priya. 165 00:06:31,999 --> 00:06:34,734 Your flaring nostrils indicate otherwise. 166 00:06:35,869 --> 00:06:37,470 Cluck-cluck-cluck. 167 00:06:38,872 --> 00:06:40,139 Sheldon, look at me. 168 00:06:40,140 --> 00:06:41,474 I think it's time 169 00:06:41,475 --> 00:06:42,675 to face the fact 170 00:06:42,676 --> 00:06:44,978 that Leonard is the nucleus of your social group. 171 00:06:44,979 --> 00:06:46,479 Where he goes, the group goes. 172 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,014 Leonard the nucleus? 173 00:06:48,015 --> 00:06:49,815 That makes no sense. 174 00:06:49,816 --> 00:06:51,150 I'm the whimsical elf 175 00:06:51,151 --> 00:06:53,319 that everyone looks to for a good time. 176 00:06:54,989 --> 00:06:56,389 I'm not saying that you're not fun. 177 00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:59,392 You're the most fun person I know. 178 00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:03,296 A lot of people think I'm fun to be around. 179 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,231 Don't be needy, bestie. 180 00:07:05,232 --> 00:07:07,900 That's probably part of what chased Leonard away. 181 00:07:09,370 --> 00:07:11,437 What I am saying, Sheldon, 182 00:07:11,438 --> 00:07:13,106 is that your group is Leonard-centric. 183 00:07:13,107 --> 00:07:15,708 If it were a town, it would be Leonardville. 184 00:07:15,709 --> 00:07:18,645 If it were an Islamic nation, Leonardstan. 185 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:21,047 If it were the birthplace of motion pictures, 186 00:07:21,048 --> 00:07:23,249 we'd all be singing "Hooray for Leonardwood." 187 00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:24,884 Ooh, I got one. 188 00:07:24,885 --> 00:07:26,419 If you guys were a band, 189 00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:29,088 you'd be called Leonard and the Leonards. 190 00:07:30,257 --> 00:07:32,825 So needy. 191 00:07:35,129 --> 00:07:37,280 What you doing? 192 00:07:37,281 --> 00:07:40,083 I'm setting out snacks. 193 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,535 You do realize everyone's eating at Raj's again tonight. 194 00:07:42,536 --> 00:07:47,273 I didn't say the snacks were for you now, did I, Nosy Rosie? 195 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,912 You're having people over? 196 00:07:52,913 --> 00:07:55,248 Yes. Must be killing you wondering who. 197 00:07:55,249 --> 00:07:56,716 Fine, I'll tell you. 198 00:07:58,118 --> 00:07:59,485 Stuart from the comic bookstore, 199 00:07:59,486 --> 00:08:00,987 Barry Kripke from the university, 200 00:08:00,988 --> 00:08:03,189 Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack 201 00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:05,324 and TV's LeVar Burton. 202 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,494 Really? 203 00:08:08,495 --> 00:08:10,263 LeVar Burton's coming here? 204 00:08:10,264 --> 00:08:12,799 Possibly. I Tweeted him. 205 00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:16,736 Okay, well, tell him I loved him on Star Trek. 206 00:08:16,737 --> 00:08:20,173 Please, Leonard, stop trying to horn in on my new friends. 207 00:08:20,174 --> 00:08:22,709 Of course. Good night. 208 00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:25,128 Leonard. Yeah? 209 00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:27,613 We had a good run, you and I. 210 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,251 Okay. 211 00:08:33,053 --> 00:08:35,121 But change is a part of life. 212 00:08:35,122 --> 00:08:37,023 It certainly is. 213 00:08:37,024 --> 00:08:38,991 Okay. 214 00:08:39,927 --> 00:08:41,694 I have guests coming. 215 00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:45,064 I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave now. 216 00:08:45,933 --> 00:08:47,900 I am leaving. 217 00:08:47,901 --> 00:08:50,403 Don't make this harder than it is, Leonard. 218 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:52,271 Good-bye, Sheldon. 219 00:08:52,272 --> 00:08:54,073 And good-bye to you, sir. 220 00:09:00,347 --> 00:09:01,881 He'll be back. 221 00:09:01,882 --> 00:09:03,466 Of course I'll be back. 222 00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:05,651 I live here! 223 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,495 Well, it would appear 224 00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:24,797 LeVar Burton won't be joining us. 225 00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:27,066 Let's get started. 226 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,435 I thought we'd begin by going around the room, 227 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:30,703 introducing ourselves 228 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,139 and saying a little bit about why we're here. 229 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,840 Okay. I'm Sheldon. 230 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,075 Uh, for regular readers 231 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,577 of The New England Journal of High Energy Physics, 232 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,045 I need no introduction. 233 00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,447 If you're not familiar 234 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,731 with that publication, 235 00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:45,384 there's a free copy in your goody bag. 236 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,271 Stuart? 237 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,391 Um... Hi. 238 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:53,659 I'm Stuart. 239 00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,461 I run a comic bookstore, 240 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:59,431 which for financial reasons, I'm currently living in. 241 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,200 And I guess 242 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,670 what I'm hoping for most out of tonight is a hot shower. 243 00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,539 It's very nice, Stuart. 244 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,290 Zack? 245 00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:10,409 I'm Zack, and I'm, uh... 246 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,712 Uh... 247 00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,016 Could you come back to me? 248 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,634 Of course. 249 00:10:18,635 --> 00:10:20,619 Barry? 250 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,787 I'm Barry Kwipke, and I'm here 251 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,356 because you told me there was going to be a whaffle. 252 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,993 When is the whaffle? 253 00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:29,461 Patience, patience, Barry. 254 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,646 The whaffle... 255 00:10:30,647 --> 00:10:33,899 The raffle is the grand finale 256 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:37,603 to an evening-long festival of fun and folly. 257 00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,705 - One more question... - Yes, you must be present to win. 258 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,542 Okay, I'm ready. 259 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,411 I'm Zach, and I'm, uh... 260 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,880 Oh, crap, why is this so hard? 261 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,252 Oh, hey. 262 00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,888 Hi. Yo, P-dog. 263 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,006 What's up? 264 00:10:57,007 --> 00:10:58,290 We're here to kidnap you 265 00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,859 for a girls' night out. 266 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:03,512 the term "kidnap" is being used playfully. 267 00:11:03,513 --> 00:11:05,731 I kind of figured that. 268 00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:08,467 Good. Now put this pillowcase over your head. 269 00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,569 No. 270 00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,404 She used to be much more fun, 271 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,507 until Leonard punched her in the heart. 272 00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:18,344 We just thought you might want to go out 273 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,479 and have a good time, maybe go dancing. 274 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,015 Oh. Gee, thanks, but I'm not really in the mood. 275 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,084 You do understand that it will distract you 276 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,886 from obsessing over the rich variety 277 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,287 of sweet loving that your ex-boyfriend 278 00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,357 is currently receiving from the fiery jewel of Mumbai. 279 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,826 Okay, look, 280 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,294 if I agree to go out with you guys, 281 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,996 will you promise to stop pestering me 282 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,030 about Leonard and Priya? 283 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,732 Yes. Sure. 284 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,333 All right. I'll go change. Come on in. 285 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,886 If you'd have let me bring the chloroform, 286 00:11:43,887 --> 00:11:46,505 we wouldn't have had to put up with all this jibber-jabber. 287 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,610 Anyway, after we get done snowboarding, 288 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,729 I go back to the lodge and get in the Jacuzzi. 289 00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:56,849 There's no one around, so naturally, I'm free-balling it. 290 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,850 Next thing I know, 291 00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,852 this beautiful chick shows up, 292 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,122 drunk out of her skull, wants to get in with me. 293 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,323 Question. 294 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:07,693 Was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub? 295 00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:10,896 Really? That's your question? 296 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:11,864 What's the difference? 297 00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,133 "Jacuzzi" is a commercial brand. 298 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,001 "Hot tub" is the generic term. 299 00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,202 I.E., all Jacuzzis 300 00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:18,304 are hot tubs, 301 00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:20,806 but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis. 302 00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,742 Is that like all thumbs are fingers, 303 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,844 but not all fingers are thumbs? 304 00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:28,814 Surprisingly, yes. 305 00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:31,150 Nice. 306 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:34,153 Now, what exactly are toes? 307 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:38,223 Can you please get back to the drunk girl? 308 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,826 I'd like something to think about in the shower. 309 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,061 Oh, yeah. 310 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,330 Right. Anyway, she takes off all of her clothes, 311 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,732 climbs into the hot tub, and the first thing I notice... 312 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:49,068 The water level rose. 313 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:51,637 No. 314 00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:52,788 Of course it did. 315 00:12:52,789 --> 00:12:54,039 It's said that Archimedes, 316 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,424 the ancient Greek mathematician, 317 00:12:55,425 --> 00:12:57,576 discovered the principle of displacement 318 00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,445 while taking a bath. 319 00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:01,513 Terrific. Go ahead, Zack. 320 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,083 Naked drunk girl, free-balling, continue. 321 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,385 Forgive me, but I think you'll find 322 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,919 my story is more interesting. 323 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,489 Does yours have wet breasts in it? 324 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,291 Better. 325 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,926 It has a gold crown. 326 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,160 You see, the king 327 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:16,928 wondered how much gold was in it 328 00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:19,398 and charged Archimedes with coming up with the solution. 329 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,600 Because the crown was irregularly shaped, 330 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,818 there was no way to mathematically 331 00:13:22,819 --> 00:13:23,869 determine its volume. 332 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:26,989 But, while bathing, Archimedes realized 333 00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:28,357 he could immerse the crown 334 00:13:28,358 --> 00:13:32,077 and measure the amount the water rose. 335 00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:37,116 So, long story short, I nailed her. 336 00:13:41,838 --> 00:13:44,289 When he finished, he shouted "Eureka!" 337 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,291 No, I always shout, "Holy moly!" 338 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,496 Don't know why. Just do. 339 00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:53,816 All right, that concludes 340 00:13:53,817 --> 00:13:56,134 the "getting to know you" portion of the evening. 341 00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:59,021 Who's ready to play some vintage video games? 342 00:13:59,022 --> 00:14:00,806 And tonight's selections include 343 00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:04,326 ColecoVision's "Smurf Rescue in Gargamel's Castle," 344 00:14:04,327 --> 00:14:06,495 Atari's "Cookie Monster Munch," 345 00:14:06,496 --> 00:14:09,314 and for you text adventure aficionados, 346 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,717 "Zork." 347 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:15,621 Pick me, pick me. I'm fun. 348 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:20,542 That all sucks the big hairy meatball. 349 00:14:20,543 --> 00:14:21,593 How about I go get 350 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,262 the karaoke machine out of my car, 351 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:26,098 get plastered and blow the roof off this place? 352 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,433 Great, I'll make a beer run. 353 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,068 And I'll take a shower. 354 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,335 We'll meet back here in 15. 355 00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:32,004 Check. 356 00:14:36,192 --> 00:14:38,477 I'm unhappy. 357 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,280 This is delicious. 358 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:42,531 Where'd you learn to make chili? 359 00:14:42,532 --> 00:14:44,716 When I was at university in England, 360 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,218 my flatmate was from Texas. 361 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,855 I hope she wasn't anything like my flatmate from Texas. 362 00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,357 Sheldon is a bit quirky, isn't he? 363 00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,426 Oh, please. That crazy bastard's looking 364 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:57,563 at quirky in the rearview mirror. 365 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,733 Did you know that, per our roommate agreement, 366 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,303 I have to wash my feet before I get in the shower? 367 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:05,337 And not in the sink. 368 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,840 We each have special buckets. 369 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:09,875 Raj, did you ever tell your sister 370 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,144 about the time Sheldon got punched by Bill Gates? 371 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,313 - Oh, God, you're kidding. - Nope. 372 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,048 Gates gave a speech at the university. 373 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,683 Sheldon went up to him afterwards and said, 374 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,384 "Maybe if you weren't so distracted 375 00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:20,853 by sick children in Africa, 376 00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:23,789 you could have put a little more thought into Windows Vista." 377 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,560 Bam. Right in the nose. 378 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,997 Made me proud to own a PC. 379 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:34,066 I'd like to propose a toast 380 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,668 to a rare and wonderful Sheldon-free evening. 381 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:40,105 Hear, hear. Cheers. 382 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,940 You realize that's the first time we've ever done that 383 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,759 without having to listen to Sheldon tell us 384 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,544 why it's called a toast? 385 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,746 Why is it called a toast? 386 00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,014 Oh, the ancient Romans 387 00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:51,116 put spiced toast in their punch bowls. 388 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,255 Sheldon tells it better. 389 00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:57,990 He kind of does. 390 00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,224 Yeah. 391 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,896 Aw, hell, I miss him. 392 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,800 So, where do you guys want to go dancing? 393 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,569 We were hoping you'd know a place. 394 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,938 Yes, perhaps somewhere packed tightly 395 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,239 with young, beautiful bodies 396 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,908 sweating and writhing against each other 397 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,509 in a glorious orgy of the flesh. 398 00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:20,579 Oh, yeah, I know that place. 399 00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:23,515 What do you think? 400 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,150 That should display enough of your bosom 401 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,220 to attract a new mate, or a hungry infant. 402 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,490 Okay, let's go through this one more time. 403 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,225 Just because Leonard has a new girlfriend 404 00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,777 does not mean I need to go out and hook up with some guy. 405 00:16:35,778 --> 00:16:37,462 But you could if you wanted to, right? 406 00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:39,097 Well, yeah, I guess. 407 00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:41,166 Pick out the hottest guy in the room, 408 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,602 take him home, do unspeakable things to him, 409 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,737 then kick him to the curb with a smile on his face 410 00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:48,440 and teeth marks on his heinie? 411 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,293 More or less. 412 00:16:51,294 --> 00:16:54,446 What's that like? 413 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,048 I don't know. 414 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,416 It's fun while you're doing it. 415 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,585 And then after, it's mostly embarrassment, 416 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,987 self-loathing and regret. 417 00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:06,358 I would take that deal all day long. 418 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,794 Yeah, well, it's not gonna happen tonight. 419 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,229 You know, for the first time in my life, 420 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,064 I am not in a relationship, 421 00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,498 and I'm totally okay with it. 422 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,934 You know, if being on your own is new to you, 423 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,537 I'd be happy to share some tension-relieving techniques 424 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:22,407 for ladies I've perfected over the years. 425 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:25,344 For example, do you have an electric toothbrush? 426 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:28,313 Um, no. 427 00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:30,949 You should get one. 428 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,985 What's that? 429 00:17:32,986 --> 00:17:35,487 It appears to be something preserved 430 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,539 between two pieces of acrylic. 431 00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:39,524 Oh, it's a snowflake from the North Pole. 432 00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,026 Leonard gave it to me last year. 433 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,695 Oh, God, that is so romantic. 434 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,797 Yeah, it was. 435 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,200 Leonard's really one of a kind. 436 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,135 Saying that while holding a snowflake 437 00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:52,204 is a bit heavy-handed, don't you think? 438 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,556 Let me see that. 439 00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:58,560 Oh, screw it. 440 00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:00,078 I can deal with a little self-loathing. 441 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,514 Let's go find me a heinie to bite. 442 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,149 Outstanding. 443 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,485 And if we fail, we can always stop at CVS 444 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:09,621 and pick you out a nice toothbrush. 445 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,941 I call mine "Gerard." 446 00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:18,030 That's kind of creepy. 447 00:18:19,115 --> 00:18:22,701 ♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪ 448 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,569 ♪ I couldn't if I tried ♪ 449 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,758 ♪ Oh, honey, if I get restless ♪ 450 00:18:29,759 --> 00:18:32,711 ♪ Baby, you're not that kind ♪ 451 00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:38,216 ♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪ 452 00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:41,086 Anybody do "Walking on Sunshine" yet? 453 00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,423 No. 454 00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,124 Dibs. 455 00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:51,330 I'm sorry, Sheldon bought a loom 456 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,532 and learned how to weave? 457 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,966 He actually got pretty good. 458 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,469 He made us all matching serapes. 459 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,605 I still wear mine when there's a nip in the air. 460 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,641 Now, was this before 461 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,743 or after he adopted the 25 cats? 462 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,645 Long before the cats. 463 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,146 I think it was around the time he tried 464 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,283 to declare our apartment a sovereign nation. 465 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,652 I still have some of the currency. 466 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,388 All my friends. 467 00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,556 All my friends. 468 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:21,193 All my friends. 469 00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:23,795 I think it's like Beetlejuice. 470 00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:26,431 We said his name too many times. 471 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:30,602 Come on in. Thank you. 472 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,004 Hey. I thought you were with your new buddies. 473 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,406 I had to leave. 474 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,708 They were having fun wrong. 475 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,144 Come here, Sheldon. Sit here with me. 476 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,328 Thank you. 477 00:19:40,329 --> 00:19:43,415 Would you like some homemade chili? 478 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,283 Are there beans in it? 479 00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:47,319 Yes. 480 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,487 Then it's not chili. 481 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,188 Real chili has no beans in it, 482 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,057 but you're from a foreign land, 483 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,793 so your ignorance is forgiven. 484 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:57,829 Sheldon, do you want some or not? 485 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,382 Yes, please. 486 00:20:00,383 --> 00:20:04,302 Your girlfriend's a little short-tempered. 487 00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,772 I'd like to propose a toast 488 00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:09,141 to friends, no matter how quirky. 489 00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:11,676 Cheers. 490 00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:15,647 Priya, do you know why this is called a toast? 491 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,315 Actually, I do. 492 00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,484 I believe the Romans used to put spiced toast 493 00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,520 in their punch bowls. 494 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,823 She's also a bit of a know-it-all. 495 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,960 Mmm. This is good. 496 00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:30,829 Whatever it is. 497 00:20:38,027 --> 00:20:40,562 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪ 498 00:20:40,563 --> 00:20:42,263 ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ 499 00:20:42,264 --> 00:20:44,499 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪ 500 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,867 ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ 501 00:20:45,868 --> 00:20:47,035 Hello? I... 502 00:20:47,036 --> 00:20:48,603 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪ 503 00:20:48,604 --> 00:20:50,939 ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ 504 00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:53,241 Oh, I don't think so. 505 00:20:55,117 --> 00:20:57,118 I am so done with Twitter. 506 00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,554 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com ==