1
00:00:03,282 --> 00:00:05,292
Oh, hey, Stuart,
I got you
2
00:00:05,293 --> 00:00:07,826
a little souvenir
from my trip to space.
3
00:00:07,828 --> 00:00:10,296
Well, Howard,
that's very nice of you.
4
00:00:10,298 --> 00:00:12,298
Yeah, maybe. Open it first.
5
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:15,534
It's my official
NASA portrait.
6
00:00:18,071 --> 00:00:21,106
"To Stuart, your comic book
store is out of this world.
7
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:24,310
Just like the guy
in this picture was."
8
00:00:24,312 --> 00:00:26,579
For the record, he also thinks
the Walgreens
9
00:00:26,581 --> 00:00:30,249
and the dry cleaners
are out of this world.
10
00:00:30,251 --> 00:00:31,417
That's not true.
11
00:00:31,419 --> 00:00:32,751
At the Walgreens,
12
00:00:32,753 --> 00:00:36,722
I was "over the moon"
for their store-brand antacids.
13
00:00:36,724 --> 00:00:38,457
Hey, Stuart, I see
you're getting ready
14
00:00:38,459 --> 00:00:39,625
for your Halloween party.
15
00:00:39,627 --> 00:00:42,328
Yeah, it's my annual attempt
to meet women.
16
00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:44,597
Ninth time's the charm.
17
00:00:45,799 --> 00:00:47,333
Would you like me to help?
18
00:00:47,335 --> 00:00:50,636
I do have a certain je ne sais
quois when it comes to soirees.
19
00:00:50,638 --> 00:00:53,105
Thanks, but I can't afford
je ne sais quois.
20
00:00:53,107 --> 00:00:55,374
How much for just quois?
21
00:00:55,376 --> 00:00:57,009
You know,
you don't worry about money.
22
00:00:57,011 --> 00:00:58,978
I'll take care of everything.
Really?
23
00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:01,513
Yeah, you'll love it. Ain't no
party like a Koothra-party.
24
00:01:03,851 --> 00:01:05,584
But you know
what wasn't a party?
25
00:01:05,586 --> 00:01:06,719
That hotel in Kazakhstan
26
00:01:06,721 --> 00:01:08,420
they put you up in
before the launch.
27
00:01:08,422 --> 00:01:09,722
I mean,
it's your last night on Earth.
28
00:01:09,724 --> 00:01:11,490
You'd think you'd get
one porn channel.
29
00:01:13,059 --> 00:01:15,160
Have you noticed
that Howard can take any topic
30
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:18,664
and use it to remind you
that he went to space?
31
00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:20,733
Interesting hypothesis.
32
00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:21,967
Let's apply the
scientific method,
33
00:01:21,969 --> 00:01:24,336
perform an experiment.
Okay.
34
00:01:24,338 --> 00:01:27,773
Hey, Howard, any thoughts on
where we should get dinner?
35
00:01:27,775 --> 00:01:29,842
Anywhere but the Space Station.
36
00:01:30,944 --> 00:01:34,513
On a good day, dinner was
a bag full of meat loaf.
37
00:01:34,515 --> 00:01:36,799
But, hey, you don't go there
for the food,
38
00:01:36,801 --> 00:01:38,684
you go there for the view.
39
00:01:38,686 --> 00:01:40,252
It's fascinating.
40
00:01:40,254 --> 00:01:42,587
Let me see if I can
duplicate the result.
41
00:01:42,589 --> 00:01:45,140
Howard, I've
always thought
42
00:01:45,142 --> 00:01:47,259
the lemon was an
underrated fruit.
43
00:01:47,261 --> 00:01:49,094
Care to weigh in?
44
00:01:49,096 --> 00:01:52,448
Not really.
45
00:01:52,450 --> 00:01:54,199
Oh, well.
46
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,485
You know, people say the Soyuz
capsule was a lemon.
47
00:01:57,737 --> 00:01:59,938
But, hey, that baby got me
to space and back.
48
00:02:05,745 --> 00:02:09,081
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
49
00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:12,801
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
50
00:02:12,803 --> 00:02:14,336
♪ The Earth began to cool
51
00:02:14,338 --> 00:02:17,006
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
52
00:02:17,008 --> 00:02:19,775
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
53
00:02:19,777 --> 00:02:22,027
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
54
00:02:22,029 --> 00:02:24,013
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
55
00:02:24,015 --> 00:02:25,015
♪ Bang! ♪
56
00:02:25,016 --> 00:02:28,516
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x05 ♪
The Holographic Excitation
Original Air Date on October 25, 2012
57
00:02:28,517 --> 00:02:31,517
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
58
00:02:31,566 --> 00:02:33,433
Ladies night
at the Cheesecake Factory.
59
00:02:33,435 --> 00:02:35,636
Does it get any better
than this?
60
00:02:35,638 --> 00:02:37,420
I hope so.
61
00:02:37,422 --> 00:02:41,291
Question. Do you think your
husband's fondness
62
00:02:41,293 --> 00:02:43,360
for turtlenecks is an
expression of longing
63
00:02:43,362 --> 00:02:46,129
for his
missing foreskin?
64
00:02:47,832 --> 00:02:51,652
It's not getting any better.
65
00:02:52,821 --> 00:02:55,372
Uch. It's Leonard.
66
00:02:55,374 --> 00:02:57,440
He wants to go costume
shopping later.
67
00:02:57,442 --> 00:02:59,326
I thought you liked Halloween.
I do, it's just
68
00:02:59,328 --> 00:03:01,912
he wants to go to that party
at the comic book store.
69
00:03:01,914 --> 00:03:04,581
A lot of the guys that hang out
there are kind of creepy.
70
00:03:04,583 --> 00:03:07,617
Like my husband?
And my boyfriend?
71
00:03:09,137 --> 00:03:11,088
I'm, I'm sorry, Amy.
72
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,623
You were saying something
about Howard's foreskin?
73
00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:15,759
Nice try, but you have
to go to that party
74
00:03:15,761 --> 00:03:16,977
'cause we're going.
75
00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:18,061
Yeah, I'm gonna go.
76
00:03:18,063 --> 00:03:19,846
It's just not my idea
of a good time.
77
00:03:19,848 --> 00:03:23,133
Leonard does thing he doesn't
like to make you happy.
78
00:03:23,135 --> 00:03:26,636
Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
Isn't that, like, his job?
79
00:03:26,638 --> 00:03:28,355
Then what's your job?
80
00:03:28,357 --> 00:03:30,540
Letting him make me happy.
81
00:03:31,693 --> 00:03:33,694
I just think in relationships
82
00:03:33,696 --> 00:03:35,645
you get back
what you put into them.
83
00:03:35,647 --> 00:03:37,080
That's not always true.
84
00:03:37,082 --> 00:03:39,649
Last night I gave Sheldon
my best come-hither look,
85
00:03:39,651 --> 00:03:41,151
and he responded
by explaining how
86
00:03:41,153 --> 00:03:44,321
wheat came
to be cultivated.
87
00:03:44,323 --> 00:03:47,791
I guess I could probably try
a little harder.
88
00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:50,677
You could start by taking
an interest in his work.
89
00:03:50,679 --> 00:03:52,012
Yeah, that's kind of a problem.
90
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:52,980
Why?
91
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,265
Not really clear on
what he does.
92
00:03:55,267 --> 00:03:57,684
He's an experimental
physicist.
93
00:03:57,686 --> 00:04:00,670
Yeah, I'm not really clear on
what that means.
94
00:04:01,889 --> 00:04:04,408
He takes hypotheses
and designs protocols
95
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,009
to determine
their accuracy.
96
00:04:06,011 --> 00:04:08,228
Yeah, you're really
just making it worse.
97
00:04:10,481 --> 00:04:12,949
What kind of tea
would you like?
98
00:04:12,951 --> 00:04:16,403
I think I'm gonna try
green tea
99
00:04:16,405 --> 00:04:17,704
mixed with lemon zinger.
100
00:04:17,706 --> 00:04:20,657
Two tea bags in one cup?
101
00:04:20,659 --> 00:04:22,876
You're not at a rave.
102
00:04:26,030 --> 00:04:28,799
So, listen, Sheldon,
I was thinking,
103
00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,084
since this is gonna be
our first
104
00:04:31,086 --> 00:04:32,836
Halloween party
as boyfriend and girlfriend,
105
00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:36,540
I thought it might be fun for us
to go in a couples costume.
106
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:39,059
I couldn't agree more.
107
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:41,311
Really? I find that inconsistent
108
00:04:41,313 --> 00:04:43,747
with everything I know
about you.
109
00:04:43,749 --> 00:04:45,882
Oh, oh, on the contrary.
110
00:04:45,884 --> 00:04:48,518
Couples costumes are one
of the few benefits
111
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:49,986
of being in a relationship.
112
00:04:49,988 --> 00:04:52,489
Now imagine this:
113
00:04:52,491 --> 00:04:55,442
you and I entering
Stuart's party
114
00:04:55,444 --> 00:04:58,945
and all eyes turn to see
America's most beloved
115
00:04:58,947 --> 00:05:00,113
and glamorous couple.
116
00:05:00,115 --> 00:05:01,281
Yeah?
117
00:05:01,283 --> 00:05:03,900
R2-D2 and C-3PO!
118
00:05:05,436 --> 00:05:08,088
Dibs on 3PO.
119
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:11,758
Sheldon, when I said
couples costume,
120
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,593
I meant like Romeo and Juliet
121
00:05:13,595 --> 00:05:15,962
or Cinderella
and Prince Charming,
122
00:05:15,964 --> 00:05:19,266
not two robots from some
silly movie I don't even like.
123
00:05:19,268 --> 00:05:20,934
Okay!
124
00:05:23,471 --> 00:05:24,971
I'm gonna let that slide
125
00:05:24,973 --> 00:05:27,190
because I know you're hopped up
on tea bags.
126
00:05:29,727 --> 00:05:32,112
I make compromises
for you all the time.
127
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,764
Just this once,
can't we find something
128
00:05:34,766 --> 00:05:36,233
that we're both happy with?
129
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:40,904
Fine. How about one
of the most beguiling
130
00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:44,040
and influential couples
of the 20th century?
131
00:05:44,042 --> 00:05:46,343
Hewlett and Packard.
132
00:05:47,462 --> 00:05:50,163
Dibs on Hewlett.
133
00:05:50,832 --> 00:05:52,382
What, you want to be Hewlett?
134
00:05:54,802 --> 00:05:56,970
Anybody home?
135
00:05:56,972 --> 00:05:58,972
Hey-hey-hey,
what are you doing here?
136
00:05:58,974 --> 00:06:01,475
I just thought I'd
stop by and say hello.
137
00:06:01,477 --> 00:06:03,310
Oh, what a nice surprise.
Oh.
138
00:06:03,312 --> 00:06:05,395
I don't think you've
ever seen my lab before.
139
00:06:05,397 --> 00:06:07,647
No, I know.
It's long overdue.
140
00:06:07,649 --> 00:06:09,099
So, what ya doing?
141
00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:11,985
Better not be building
a robot girlfriend.
142
00:06:11,987 --> 00:06:14,654
No. Although Howard was
making some real strides
143
00:06:14,656 --> 00:06:17,607
in that area until
he met Bernadette.
144
00:06:17,609 --> 00:06:19,359
You're kidding.
Nope.
145
00:06:19,361 --> 00:06:21,528
Now the Lisatronic 3000
just sits in a box
146
00:06:21,530 --> 00:06:23,163
waiting for the phone to ring.
147
00:06:26,584 --> 00:06:28,151
Ooh! What's going on in here?
148
00:06:28,153 --> 00:06:29,669
Oh, no, no, no,
don't look in there.
149
00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:30,820
What, is it secret?
150
00:06:30,822 --> 00:06:32,422
No, it's a nitrogen laser.
151
00:06:32,424 --> 00:06:35,509
It'll cook your eyeball
like a soft-boiled egg.
152
00:06:35,511 --> 00:06:37,878
Oh. You might want
to put a sign on it.
153
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,131
Sign right there.
154
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:44,184
Ah. "Danger," sure, sure.
155
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,352
Yeah. What's, what's that?
156
00:06:45,354 --> 00:06:48,355
Uh, that is an
integrated ion trap
157
00:06:48,357 --> 00:06:50,106
and time-of-flight
mass spectrometer.
158
00:06:50,108 --> 00:06:52,609
Wow. High-techie-techie.
159
00:06:53,711 --> 00:06:55,812
What's this little box?
160
00:06:55,814 --> 00:06:59,983
That is a pencil
sharpener.
161
00:06:59,985 --> 00:07:01,902
Ooh, low-techie-techie.
162
00:07:01,904 --> 00:07:04,687
So, what are you
working on right now?
163
00:07:04,689 --> 00:07:07,207
It's actually pretty neat.
Yeah?
164
00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:09,709
Yeah. It's a front-projected
holographic display
165
00:07:09,711 --> 00:07:11,962
combined with laser-based
finger tracking.
166
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:14,197
Here, I'll show you.
167
00:07:14,199 --> 00:07:17,384
We'll just put this
pencil over here.
168
00:07:17,386 --> 00:07:19,803
Sharp. Thanks to the machine
we saw earlier.
169
00:07:23,057 --> 00:07:24,558
Very good.
170
00:07:25,676 --> 00:07:30,597
And then a laser will map
the reflective surface...
171
00:07:30,599 --> 00:07:33,316
and voilà.
172
00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:37,654
Wow. That is amazing.
173
00:07:40,575 --> 00:07:43,026
You know, there's a foundational
idea in string theory
174
00:07:43,028 --> 00:07:45,829
that the whole universe
may be a hologram.
175
00:07:45,831 --> 00:07:47,747
What do you mean?
176
00:07:49,734 --> 00:07:51,734
Oh!
177
00:07:51,736 --> 00:07:53,336
Wow.
178
00:07:53,338 --> 00:07:54,454
Uh-huh.
179
00:07:54,456 --> 00:07:56,072
Well, the holographic principle
suggests
180
00:07:56,074 --> 00:07:59,909
that what we all experience
every day in three dimensions
181
00:07:59,911 --> 00:08:05,382
may really just be information
182
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:07,250
on a surface located
183
00:08:07,252 --> 00:08:10,353
at the farthest reaches
of our cosmos.
184
00:08:11,556 --> 00:08:15,758
So it's possible
that our lives are
185
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,194
really just acting
out a painting
186
00:08:18,196 --> 00:08:21,481
on the largest canvas
in the universe.
187
00:08:21,483 --> 00:08:23,483
Hmm.
188
00:08:23,485 --> 00:08:24,868
What?
189
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:28,822
Sometimes I forget
how smart you are.
190
00:08:35,413 --> 00:08:37,780
You should visit
more often.
191
00:08:40,468 --> 00:08:41,718
What are you doing?
192
00:08:43,504 --> 00:08:45,555
Take off your clothes.
193
00:08:45,557 --> 00:08:47,140
What? Here? Now?
194
00:08:47,142 --> 00:08:48,341
Yeah. You got a problem
with that?
195
00:08:48,343 --> 00:08:51,311
No, no. It's kind of crazy.
196
00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:53,480
I've never fooled around
in the lab before.
197
00:08:53,482 --> 00:08:54,764
Really? Never?
198
00:08:54,766 --> 00:08:56,483
No. I did have a shot
with the Lisatronic,
199
00:08:56,485 --> 00:08:59,903
but the extension cord
wasn't long enough.
200
00:09:04,775 --> 00:09:08,028
Before I forget, I'd like
your opinion on the menus
201
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:10,363
I've prepared
for the Halloween party.
202
00:09:10,365 --> 00:09:14,817
The theme is "food
that goes bump in the night."
203
00:09:15,886 --> 00:09:20,040
"Creature from
the Black Forest Ham Lagoon."
204
00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:24,010
On Sesame seed Bunzillas.
205
00:09:25,012 --> 00:09:29,165
"Night of the Living
Garlic Bread"?
206
00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:33,436
It's funny because "bread"
sounds like "dead".
207
00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:37,891
I'm sorry, but these
are just ordinary foods
208
00:09:37,893 --> 00:09:40,510
with the names bent
into tortured puns.
209
00:09:40,512 --> 00:09:43,613
The dishes themselves
are in no way Halloweenie.
210
00:09:43,615 --> 00:09:46,182
Ooh, Hallow-weenies!
211
00:09:47,535 --> 00:09:48,851
That's a good one.
212
00:09:48,853 --> 00:09:52,522
They'll pair nicely
with my "Draculoni and Cheese."
213
00:09:53,557 --> 00:09:55,241
How do I do it?!
214
00:09:57,211 --> 00:09:58,461
That reminds me, I was thinking
215
00:09:58,463 --> 00:10:00,029
about wearing my NASA jumpsuit
as a costume.
216
00:10:00,031 --> 00:10:01,748
But then I realized everyone
would be, like,
217
00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:03,032
"Where's your costume?
218
00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:05,218
Why are you wearing your work
clothes, you nut?"
219
00:10:06,754 --> 00:10:09,089
Hello, boys.
220
00:10:12,827 --> 00:10:14,177
What are you smiling at?
221
00:10:14,179 --> 00:10:16,763
Nothing.
222
00:10:17,665 --> 00:10:19,215
You know where's there's
a lot of nothing.
223
00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:21,234
Space.
224
00:10:25,723 --> 00:10:30,059
Boy, it's nice to sleep in
a bed with gravity again.
225
00:10:30,061 --> 00:10:31,861
Did I tell you
about the night
226
00:10:31,863 --> 00:10:32,779
my retainer floated out
227
00:10:32,781 --> 00:10:34,247
of my mouth
and into the air lock?
228
00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:39,085
Yeah, you mentioned it
once or twice.
229
00:10:39,087 --> 00:10:41,171
So, here we are,
230
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:44,124
just a couple
of young newlyweds.
231
00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:45,759
What to do?
232
00:10:45,761 --> 00:10:48,344
What to do to you?
233
00:10:52,249 --> 00:10:56,803
Astronaut Wolowitz,
reporting for booty.
234
00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:00,857
Preparing thrusters.
235
00:11:01,759 --> 00:11:03,860
We have liftoff.
236
00:11:07,765 --> 00:11:10,099
Are we clear to jettison
that nightgown?
237
00:11:10,101 --> 00:11:12,152
Okay, we need to talk.
238
00:11:12,154 --> 00:11:14,204
What?
239
00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:16,072
Howie, I know you
went to space.
240
00:11:16,074 --> 00:11:18,041
I'm incredibly
proud of you.
241
00:11:18,043 --> 00:11:19,626
But you might want to try
242
00:11:19,628 --> 00:11:20,944
and not bring it up
every minute.
243
00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:23,630
I don't talk about it
every minute.
244
00:11:23,632 --> 00:11:26,783
Tonight at dinner you went on
about it for an hour straight.
245
00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:28,918
What was I supposed
to talk about?
246
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,504
We were eating
at Johnny Rockets.
247
00:11:31,506 --> 00:11:33,973
I'm just saying,
248
00:11:33,975 --> 00:11:36,142
people are getting
a little tired of it.
249
00:11:36,144 --> 00:11:39,229
So, I did this
amazing thing
250
00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:42,148
and I'm never allowed
to mention it?
251
00:11:42,150 --> 00:11:43,633
Of course you can.
252
00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:45,968
But maybe a good
rule would be
253
00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:47,937
to wait for people
to bring it up.
254
00:11:47,939 --> 00:11:52,141
Okay, no problem.
255
00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:53,193
It won't happen again.
256
00:11:53,195 --> 00:11:54,977
I love you.
257
00:11:54,979 --> 00:11:56,479
I love you, too.
258
00:11:58,332 --> 00:12:01,701
I can't tell you how
many times I dreamed
259
00:12:01,703 --> 00:12:06,456
I was in bed here
with you when I was...
260
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:09,042
you know.
261
00:12:09,044 --> 00:12:13,012
What, I can't even point?
262
00:12:18,039 --> 00:12:21,675
So, basically, this is what's
called mag-lev technology.
263
00:12:21,677 --> 00:12:24,711
It uses very powerful
electromagnets
264
00:12:24,713 --> 00:12:27,430
to create a force strong
enough to overcome gravity.
265
00:12:27,432 --> 00:12:29,432
Here, you hold this.
266
00:12:29,434 --> 00:12:31,551
Whoa! That's heavy.
267
00:12:31,553 --> 00:12:34,020
Yeah. Oh, uh, you don't have
on any jewelry, do you?
268
00:12:34,022 --> 00:12:36,172
No. Why?
269
00:12:36,174 --> 00:12:38,692
A grad student forgot to take
out one of his piercings.
270
00:12:38,694 --> 00:12:40,977
Now he's on a
transplant list
271
00:12:40,979 --> 00:12:42,812
waiting for a
nipple his size.
272
00:12:44,148 --> 00:12:46,783
Now watch this.
273
00:12:49,354 --> 00:12:52,989
Whoa!
That is very cool.
274
00:12:52,991 --> 00:12:55,241
Sometimes I like
to turn this on
275
00:12:55,243 --> 00:12:58,378
and pretend I'm the
super villain Magneto.
276
00:12:59,664 --> 00:13:01,965
It's getting a little
less cool, Leonard.
277
00:13:01,967 --> 00:13:05,218
But what I really am is
a very smart scientist
278
00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:06,970
who understands the
mechanics of the universe
279
00:13:06,972 --> 00:13:09,322
and is wearing the sexy black
underwear you bought him.
280
00:13:09,324 --> 00:13:11,207
There we go.
281
00:13:13,711 --> 00:13:16,513
So, I thought the photo
booth for the party could
282
00:13:16,515 --> 00:13:18,598
either be creepy like
a mummy's tomb,
283
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,568
or they also have the Tardis
from Doctor Who.
284
00:13:21,570 --> 00:13:23,520
A Tardis makes no sense.
285
00:13:23,522 --> 00:13:26,389
It's a time machine
from a science-fiction show.
286
00:13:26,391 --> 00:13:27,957
It has nothing to do
with Halloween.
287
00:13:27,959 --> 00:13:30,443
That being said,
if you don't get a Tardis,
288
00:13:30,445 --> 00:13:32,328
you stink
and your party stinks.
289
00:13:33,848 --> 00:13:35,448
Do you have a preference?
290
00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:36,950
I don't care. Get the Tardis.
291
00:13:36,952 --> 00:13:41,337
Yes! This party just
became a major rager.
292
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,339
Oh, by the way,
293
00:13:43,341 --> 00:13:44,991
can I borrow your
bullwhip and fedora?
294
00:13:44,993 --> 00:13:47,127
Yeah, sure, whatever.
295
00:13:47,129 --> 00:13:50,213
I was thinking of dressing up
as Indiana Jones'
296
00:13:50,215 --> 00:13:51,965
mocha-skinned love child.
297
00:13:53,968 --> 00:13:56,553
"Indian" Jones.
298
00:13:58,022 --> 00:14:00,340
Clever.
299
00:14:00,342 --> 00:14:01,691
What's wrong with you?
300
00:14:01,693 --> 00:14:03,259
Nothing.
301
00:14:03,261 --> 00:14:05,195
Oh, Howard, I've got
a party to plan.
302
00:14:05,197 --> 00:14:07,997
Don't make me
pull it out of you.
303
00:14:07,999 --> 00:14:10,033
Okay, here it is.
304
00:14:10,035 --> 00:14:12,819
Bernadette said you guys are
all sick of me
305
00:14:12,821 --> 00:14:15,638
talking about my trip to space.
306
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,073
Is that true?
307
00:14:17,075 --> 00:14:20,043
No.
Yes.
308
00:14:21,112 --> 00:14:23,580
We seem to have
different approaches here.
309
00:14:23,582 --> 00:14:25,281
I was going
for helpful honesty.
310
00:14:25,283 --> 00:14:28,785
I have no idea
what you're doing.
311
00:14:28,787 --> 00:14:31,905
It's called being nice.
312
00:14:31,907 --> 00:14:33,256
Okay. If you think
being nice
313
00:14:33,258 --> 00:14:35,425
will get him to shut up,
I'll try it.
314
00:14:37,895 --> 00:14:40,680
You know what, guys? Never mind.
I just won't talk
315
00:14:40,682 --> 00:14:44,184
about the greatest achievement
of my life ever again.
316
00:14:44,186 --> 00:14:46,969
Look at that,
the problem solved itself.
317
00:14:53,577 --> 00:14:56,112
Hello, boys.
318
00:14:58,382 --> 00:15:01,334
What if we were to go
319
00:15:01,336 --> 00:15:03,987
as dinner table favorites
salt and pepper?
320
00:15:03,989 --> 00:15:06,873
You know salt makes me retain
water and my cousin William
321
00:15:06,875 --> 00:15:10,293
was ground to death
in a pepper factory accident.
322
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:13,213
How about
Raggedy Ann and Andy?
323
00:15:13,215 --> 00:15:14,347
I loved them
growing up.
324
00:15:14,349 --> 00:15:15,632
No, I don't think so.
325
00:15:15,634 --> 00:15:18,167
Those dolls represent
three things I do not care for:
326
00:15:18,169 --> 00:15:20,837
clowns, children
and raggediness.
327
00:15:23,307 --> 00:15:24,841
I think it's a lost cause.
328
00:15:24,843 --> 00:15:28,344
No. There are certain things
that say to the world,
329
00:15:28,346 --> 00:15:30,747
"I have a boyfriend,
and he's not made up."
330
00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,182
Matching costumes,
331
00:15:33,184 --> 00:15:35,585
hickeys and sex tapes.
332
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,688
Pick one.
333
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:41,457
What's a hickey?
334
00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,175
How do I look?
335
00:15:59,177 --> 00:16:00,326
Fine.
336
00:16:00,328 --> 00:16:04,597
Uh-oh, is someone a little blue?
337
00:16:08,485 --> 00:16:10,653
Come on, Howie,
that's like the funniest thing
338
00:16:10,655 --> 00:16:12,856
I've ever said in my life.
339
00:16:12,858 --> 00:16:14,274
What do you say?
You ready to go?
340
00:16:14,276 --> 00:16:18,027
To tell you the truth,
I'm not really in the mood.
341
00:16:18,029 --> 00:16:19,279
What are you talking about?
342
00:16:19,281 --> 00:16:21,898
It'll be fun.
All your friends'll be there.
343
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:24,066
Yeah, some friends.
They all think I'm boring.
344
00:16:24,068 --> 00:16:25,585
Maybe you should go
without me.
345
00:16:25,587 --> 00:16:28,037
No, if I'm there alone,
people might think
346
00:16:28,039 --> 00:16:31,774
I'm just a really short
person from Avatar.
347
00:16:31,776 --> 00:16:34,260
I'm sorry.
I just don't want to go.
348
00:16:34,262 --> 00:16:38,214
Hey, I just spent the last three
hours coloring myself blue.
349
00:16:38,216 --> 00:16:39,966
I'm gonna be
washing paint out
350
00:16:39,968 --> 00:16:42,101
of my Smurf for a month!
351
00:16:43,037 --> 00:16:45,104
Fine.
352
00:16:45,106 --> 00:16:47,140
Two weeks ago
I was an astronaut.
353
00:16:47,142 --> 00:16:49,692
Yeah, well, now you're a Smurf.
Keep walking.
354
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:55,031
♪
355
00:16:55,033 --> 00:16:57,567
Oh, my God,
you guys look adorable!
356
00:16:57,569 --> 00:16:58,735
Thanks, so do you.
357
00:16:58,737 --> 00:17:00,553
Slutty cop?
358
00:17:00,555 --> 00:17:01,771
No, sexy cop.
359
00:17:01,773 --> 00:17:06,776
Slutty cop only came
with a skirt and two badges.
360
00:17:06,778 --> 00:17:08,578
And Albert Einstein?
361
00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:10,880
Ja, und later
she's going to arrest me
362
00:17:10,882 --> 00:17:14,584
for goink fashter
zen da shpeed of light.
363
00:17:14,586 --> 00:17:17,337
I thought we said
in the car, no accents?
364
00:17:17,339 --> 00:17:19,672
Sorry, Officer.
365
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:26,012
Hello!
366
00:17:27,848 --> 00:17:29,298
It's a great party!
367
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:31,134
Thank you!
368
00:17:31,136 --> 00:17:35,104
The monster foods,
they're really fun.
369
00:17:35,106 --> 00:17:36,522
Oh, yes, thank you.
370
00:17:36,524 --> 00:17:39,909
I like to think of fun things
like that because I'm fun.
371
00:17:39,911 --> 00:17:43,529
I'm not clinically depressed
at all.
372
00:17:43,531 --> 00:17:45,748
Sheldon, get in here!
373
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:58,378
I should've picked hickey.
374
00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:00,513
Hey, hey,
look at you guys!
375
00:18:00,515 --> 00:18:04,300
I'm Raggedy Ann, and
he's Raggedy C-3PO.
376
00:18:05,135 --> 00:18:08,004
It was a compromise.
I lost.
377
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,641
Can you believe
Stuart's walking around
378
00:18:11,643 --> 00:18:13,142
taking credit
for this party?
379
00:18:13,144 --> 00:18:14,844
Who cares?
380
00:18:14,846 --> 00:18:16,980
What do you mean "who cares"?
Look at what I pulled off here.
381
00:18:16,982 --> 00:18:21,017
The deejay's on fire, there's
a Tardis photo booth in the back room,
382
00:18:21,019 --> 00:18:23,119
and, oh, my God, the food!
383
00:18:23,121 --> 00:18:26,105
Stuart wanted Kraft
Draculoni and cheese.
384
00:18:26,107 --> 00:18:28,157
You're right, the party's
fantastic. Please, tell me more.
385
00:18:28,159 --> 00:18:30,359
I haven't heard enough
about it all week
386
00:18:30,361 --> 00:18:32,528
because hearing about that
never gets old!
387
00:18:32,530 --> 00:18:34,113
Is this about the
space thing again?
388
00:18:34,115 --> 00:18:35,765
Well, I'm not allowed
to talk about it,
389
00:18:35,767 --> 00:18:38,551
but since you brought it up,
I went to space!
390
00:18:38,553 --> 00:18:41,287
Space, space, space!
Space, space, space!
391
00:18:41,289 --> 00:18:44,540
Whoa, Drinky Smurf.
392
00:18:45,426 --> 00:18:47,293
Can I talk to you
for a second?
393
00:18:47,295 --> 00:18:49,712
Great, now I'm in trouble.
394
00:18:49,714 --> 00:18:51,347
You happy?!
395
00:18:52,032 --> 00:18:54,017
You, out!
396
00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:57,320
You are being very rude!
397
00:18:57,322 --> 00:18:59,572
No, I'm not.
They're all being rude.
398
00:18:59,574 --> 00:19:00,623
And you're being rude.
399
00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:01,941
Me? What did I do?
400
00:19:01,943 --> 00:19:05,695
"Oh, Howie...
401
00:19:05,697 --> 00:19:08,781
"stop talking
about space so much.
402
00:19:08,783 --> 00:19:11,567
Nobody likes it."
403
00:19:11,569 --> 00:19:15,171
I don't sound like that.
404
00:19:16,857 --> 00:19:18,007
You're my wife.
405
00:19:18,009 --> 00:19:19,742
You're supposed
to be on my side.
406
00:19:19,744 --> 00:19:21,994
I'm always on your side.
407
00:19:21,996 --> 00:19:24,530
Then why are you trying
to take this away from me?
408
00:19:24,532 --> 00:19:26,799
Being an astronaut is
409
00:19:26,801 --> 00:19:30,920
the coolest thing
I'm ever gonna do.
410
00:19:30,922 --> 00:19:34,590
If I stop talking about it,
then I'm just...
411
00:19:34,592 --> 00:19:36,492
Just what?
412
00:19:36,494 --> 00:19:41,197
Just plain old
Howard Wolowitz again.
413
00:19:41,199 --> 00:19:45,451
Plain old Howard Wolowitz
is the best guy I know.
414
00:19:45,453 --> 00:19:47,120
You're just saying that.
415
00:19:47,122 --> 00:19:50,439
No, I'm not.
I married him.
416
00:19:50,441 --> 00:19:52,575
On purpose.
417
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,444
Come here.
418
00:19:55,446 --> 00:19:56,779
I love you.
419
00:19:56,781 --> 00:19:58,447
I love you, too.
420
00:20:05,289 --> 00:20:08,508
Nothing to see here.
Just sexy police business.
421
00:20:10,094 --> 00:20:12,095
Just explaining
the theory of relativity.
422
00:20:12,846 --> 00:20:14,597
Twice.
423
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,152
Hey, what you watching?
424
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:21,788
I don't know.
425
00:20:21,789 --> 00:20:25,824
Raj sent me some video
of Buzz Aldrin.
426
00:20:26,368 --> 00:20:30,353
Here you go.
It's a Milky Way.
427
00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:34,757
The Milky Way's
a galaxy in space.
428
00:20:34,759 --> 00:20:36,926
I've been in space.
429
00:20:39,763 --> 00:20:42,599
Here's a Mars bar.
430
00:20:42,601 --> 00:20:44,267
I'm an astronaut.
431
00:20:49,657 --> 00:20:51,340
And this one's a Moon Pie.
432
00:20:51,342 --> 00:20:54,861
I walked on the Moon.
433
00:20:54,863 --> 00:20:57,013
What have you done?
434
00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:02,080
Okay, I get it.
435
00:21:02,082 --> 00:21:06,082
== sync, corrected by elderman ==