1 00:00:00,989 --> 00:00:03,137 Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:03,383 --> 00:00:05,950 Can I have your attention, please? 3 00:00:06,252 --> 00:00:10,138 We're all here tonight because we have no one to be with. 4 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,940 We've got to stop defining 5 00:00:11,942 --> 00:00:16,594 our self-worth by whether or not we're in a relationship. 6 00:00:16,596 --> 00:00:20,765 We are a community, and as long 7 00:00:20,767 --> 00:00:24,435 as we have each other, we're never truly alone. 8 00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,991 That was cool. 9 00:00:29,993 --> 00:00:31,209 What you said. 10 00:00:31,211 --> 00:00:33,378 Thank you. 11 00:00:35,214 --> 00:00:37,949 Uh... would you like to, uh... 12 00:00:37,951 --> 00:00:41,118 get a cup... a cup of coffee...? 13 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,453 Okay. 14 00:00:47,676 --> 00:00:49,878 Later, losers! 15 00:00:52,598 --> 00:00:55,150 So then I went to Cambridge, which was wonderful 16 00:00:55,152 --> 00:00:57,402 not only because it's a good school 17 00:00:57,404 --> 00:01:01,272 but because it totally looks like Hogwarts. 18 00:01:01,274 --> 00:01:03,024 That's where I fell in love with astronomy, 19 00:01:03,026 --> 00:01:05,827 and now I'm an astrophysicist at Caltech, 20 00:01:05,829 --> 00:01:08,196 so I guess you could say, uh, 21 00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:11,649 Raj is my name and stars are my game. 22 00:01:11,651 --> 00:01:15,119 And rhyming is also my game. 23 00:01:15,121 --> 00:01:18,923 So, uh, two games. 24 00:01:18,925 --> 00:01:20,375 Uh, anyway, that-that's enough about me. 25 00:01:20,377 --> 00:01:22,544 I want to hear everything about you. 26 00:01:23,395 --> 00:01:25,346 I have to go to the bathroom. 27 00:01:25,348 --> 00:01:28,433 I go to the bathroom, too. 28 00:01:28,435 --> 00:01:31,219 Sometimes more frequently than I care to admit. 29 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:34,973 Oh, I've had it checked out, it's nothing. 30 00:01:36,308 --> 00:01:39,694 Hmm! This is going great! 31 00:01:40,613 --> 00:01:44,348 Mmm... can I have a refill on my chai tea? 32 00:01:44,350 --> 00:01:45,800 Yes... 33 00:01:45,802 --> 00:01:48,102 I have a good feeling about this. 34 00:01:50,956 --> 00:01:53,141 I should have bought condoms. 35 00:01:55,461 --> 00:01:59,080 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 36 00:01:59,082 --> 00:02:02,417 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 37 00:02:02,419 --> 00:02:04,052 ♪ The Earth began to cool 38 00:02:04,054 --> 00:02:06,588 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 39 00:02:06,590 --> 00:02:09,257 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 40 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,943 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 41 00:02:11,945 --> 00:02:13,845 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 42 00:02:13,847 --> 00:02:14,813 ♪ Bang! ♪ 43 00:02:14,814 --> 00:02:17,814 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x17 ♪ The Monster Isolation Original Air Date on February 21, 2013 44 00:02:17,815 --> 00:02:20,415 == sync, corrected by elderman == 45 00:02:20,417 --> 00:02:24,136 Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 46 00:02:24,138 --> 00:02:27,806 Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags. 47 00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:33,929 My apologies that this episode is coming late. 48 00:02:33,931 --> 00:02:37,199 I did shoot one last week, in honor of Black History Month, 49 00:02:37,201 --> 00:02:39,068 but I was informed by my roommate 50 00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:41,904 that my spot-on portrayal of George Washington Carver 51 00:02:41,906 --> 00:02:45,140 could be considered "wildly racist." 52 00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:48,777 My heart goes out to the members 53 00:02:48,779 --> 00:02:50,746 of the African-American community, 54 00:02:50,748 --> 00:02:54,083 who, like me, have been kept down by The Man. 55 00:02:56,019 --> 00:03:00,522 Now, Fun with Flags is not just for the flag aficionado; 56 00:03:00,524 --> 00:03:04,126 it's also for the flag novice, so, to help me with that, 57 00:03:04,128 --> 00:03:07,763 please welcome my friend, neighbor, and flag virgin-- 58 00:03:07,765 --> 00:03:10,032 yeah, not a real virgin. 59 00:03:11,601 --> 00:03:13,769 She's had coitus many times. 60 00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:19,791 Sometimes within earshot of this flag enthusiast. 61 00:03:19,793 --> 00:03:22,578 Once while he was trying to watch The Incredibles. 62 00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:26,148 Penny. 63 00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:28,150 Hello. 64 00:03:28,152 --> 00:03:29,601 So, Penny, I understand 65 00:03:29,603 --> 00:03:31,987 you would like to learn more about flags. 66 00:03:31,989 --> 00:03:33,689 Yeah, I can't tell you how many times 67 00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:35,658 I've been at a party where everyone's talking about flags 68 00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:38,577 and I just couldn't join in. Yeah. 69 00:03:38,579 --> 00:03:40,796 Well, you came to the right place. 70 00:03:44,034 --> 00:03:48,003 Uh, I'm sorry, can we just pause for a minute? 71 00:03:48,005 --> 00:03:49,872 What's wrong? 72 00:03:49,874 --> 00:03:51,457 I just think it might look more natural 73 00:03:51,459 --> 00:03:53,658 if you talked to me instead of the camera, 74 00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:55,594 you know, like, like a real conversation. 75 00:03:55,596 --> 00:03:57,680 It's something we work on in my acting class. 76 00:03:57,682 --> 00:03:58,931 Interesting. 77 00:03:58,933 --> 00:04:01,600 A few people in the comments section have said 78 00:04:01,602 --> 00:04:04,136 that my delivery is robotic. 79 00:04:06,006 --> 00:04:08,307 Perhaps that isn't the compliment it sounds like. 80 00:04:08,309 --> 00:04:11,060 Yeah, let's try it again, and maybe, this time, 81 00:04:11,062 --> 00:04:13,195 you could work on your body language a bit. 82 00:04:13,197 --> 00:04:15,447 You know, when you're all hunched like that, 83 00:04:15,449 --> 00:04:16,699 you're shutting the audience out, 84 00:04:16,701 --> 00:04:18,901 but when you're relaxed and open, 85 00:04:18,903 --> 00:04:20,402 you're inviting them in. 86 00:04:20,404 --> 00:04:22,020 Right. 87 00:04:22,022 --> 00:04:25,574 And which one do I want? 88 00:04:25,576 --> 00:04:27,626 Let's try open. 89 00:04:27,628 --> 00:04:29,745 If our friend, the flag, has taught me anything, 90 00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:32,131 it's to go where the wind takes you. 91 00:04:32,133 --> 00:04:34,833 As long as you remain firmly attached to a rigid pole. 92 00:04:36,136 --> 00:04:38,003 And... action. 93 00:04:47,964 --> 00:04:49,732 So, Penny... 94 00:04:49,734 --> 00:04:53,936 what sort of flag questions keep you awake at night? 95 00:04:59,092 --> 00:05:01,293 Um, well, I'm from Nebraska. 96 00:05:01,295 --> 00:05:03,512 So what can you tell me about the state flag? 97 00:05:03,514 --> 00:05:06,365 Gosh, Penny... 98 00:05:06,367 --> 00:05:08,217 what'd you have for breakfast? 99 00:05:08,219 --> 00:05:12,037 A big glass of good question juice? 100 00:05:12,039 --> 00:05:15,424 The Nebraska state flag is simply the state seal 101 00:05:15,426 --> 00:05:18,260 on a field of blue. 102 00:05:29,923 --> 00:05:32,391 Spread your legs; invite them in. 103 00:05:37,447 --> 00:05:39,364 I'm telling you, something's wrong. 104 00:05:39,366 --> 00:05:42,100 I can always feel it when Raj is in trouble. 105 00:05:42,102 --> 00:05:44,736 Geez, how close were you guys before we got married? 106 00:05:44,738 --> 00:05:46,738 Don't look under that rock. 107 00:05:48,075 --> 00:05:49,208 Raj, you okay? 108 00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:50,242 You in there? 109 00:05:50,244 --> 00:05:51,577 Go away! 110 00:05:52,545 --> 00:05:53,879 Come on, buddy, open up. 111 00:05:53,881 --> 00:05:55,297 We're worried about you. 112 00:05:55,299 --> 00:05:57,416 Oh, just because I stopped going to work 113 00:05:57,418 --> 00:06:00,836 and answering my phone you think something bad happened? 114 00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:03,622 Maybe something good happened. 115 00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:05,457 Did something good happen? 116 00:06:05,459 --> 00:06:06,625 Of course not! 117 00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:09,961 Nothing good ever happens! 118 00:06:13,799 --> 00:06:15,350 Whoa. 119 00:06:15,352 --> 00:06:16,819 What? 120 00:06:16,821 --> 00:06:18,803 Nope, just-just... whoa. 121 00:06:24,494 --> 00:06:27,746 It smells pretty ripe in here. 122 00:06:27,748 --> 00:06:31,667 You kind feel it in your eyes. 123 00:06:32,535 --> 00:06:33,769 Raj, what's going on? 124 00:06:33,771 --> 00:06:37,206 I was humiliated by yet another woman. 125 00:06:37,208 --> 00:06:39,258 You didn't kill her and chop her up-- 126 00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:40,626 that's not what we're smelling, right? 127 00:06:40,628 --> 00:06:42,594 No. 128 00:06:42,596 --> 00:06:44,513 I took her for coffee, 129 00:06:44,515 --> 00:06:46,849 and she snuck out the bathroom window 130 00:06:46,851 --> 00:06:47,966 to get away from me. 131 00:06:47,968 --> 00:06:49,618 Oh, you poor baby. 132 00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:51,270 I went and looked. 133 00:06:51,272 --> 00:06:53,472 It was a high and tiny window. 134 00:06:54,257 --> 00:06:56,725 She must have been very motivated. 135 00:06:58,094 --> 00:07:00,445 I'm sorry. That's awful, but come on. 136 00:07:00,447 --> 00:07:02,180 you got to shake it off. 137 00:07:02,182 --> 00:07:03,649 Yeah, you can't stay in your apartment 138 00:07:03,651 --> 00:07:05,016 for the rest of your life. 139 00:07:05,018 --> 00:07:06,318 Why not? 140 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,787 With online shopping and overnight delivery, 141 00:07:08,789 --> 00:07:10,122 I can get anything I want. 142 00:07:10,124 --> 00:07:11,456 Look, 143 00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:12,791 I just ordered a case 144 00:07:12,793 --> 00:07:14,376 of Dinty Moore beef stew 145 00:07:14,378 --> 00:07:17,462 and two live lobsters on Amazon. 146 00:07:17,464 --> 00:07:18,881 Lobsters overnight? 147 00:07:18,883 --> 00:07:20,299 Oh, you're kidding. Let me see. 148 00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:21,884 Well, I'll be. 149 00:07:21,886 --> 00:07:23,585 Look, you can throw in a couple steaks 150 00:07:23,587 --> 00:07:25,370 and have a surf and turf. 151 00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:27,422 The surf and turf sounds good. 152 00:07:27,424 --> 00:07:30,175 See if they corn on the cob. 153 00:07:30,177 --> 00:07:31,677 Guys! 154 00:07:31,679 --> 00:07:33,262 We're trying to get him out of here, 155 00:07:33,264 --> 00:07:34,763 not you in. 156 00:07:34,765 --> 00:07:36,598 You're wasting your time. 157 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,568 Just please, leave me alone. 158 00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:44,907 Now what? 159 00:07:44,909 --> 00:07:46,725 I don't know. 160 00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:50,061 We could go to Red Lobster and talk about it. 161 00:07:51,063 --> 00:07:52,781 We're all thinking it. 162 00:07:52,783 --> 00:07:55,334 I just had the decency to wait for him to leave. 163 00:08:01,892 --> 00:08:04,259 Hello, Sheldon. 164 00:08:04,261 --> 00:08:05,377 Hello. 165 00:08:05,379 --> 00:08:06,878 How's the final stage 166 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,114 of your nicotine addiction study going? 167 00:08:09,116 --> 00:08:10,682 Fine. 168 00:08:10,684 --> 00:08:12,684 Just hold on. 169 00:08:12,686 --> 00:08:14,853 Mommy's on the phone! 170 00:08:16,139 --> 00:08:17,639 Sorry. 171 00:08:17,641 --> 00:08:20,475 We've cut the monkeys down to one cigarette a day, 172 00:08:20,477 --> 00:08:22,260 so things are a little intense. 173 00:08:23,346 --> 00:08:25,530 Makes me miss my marijuana-abusing flatworms. 174 00:08:25,532 --> 00:08:28,200 Those guys were mellow. 175 00:08:28,202 --> 00:08:29,901 Good news. 176 00:08:29,903 --> 00:08:33,238 Uh, the latest episode of Fun with Flags is online. 177 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,157 Oh, that's right. How'd it go with Penny? 178 00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:36,758 Much better than I expected. 179 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,444 She even gave me some helpful tips 180 00:08:39,446 --> 00:08:41,330 about acting and body language. 181 00:08:41,332 --> 00:08:43,281 Watch. 182 00:08:44,116 --> 00:08:46,468 Welcome to my world. 183 00:08:46,470 --> 00:08:49,354 Not welcome to my world. 184 00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:51,807 Welcome. 185 00:08:51,809 --> 00:08:54,126 Not welcome. 186 00:08:54,128 --> 00:08:56,895 Subtle, but powerful. 187 00:08:56,897 --> 00:08:58,130 I know. 188 00:08:58,132 --> 00:09:00,799 I'm still learning to control it. 189 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:03,018 Did you tell Penny how helpful she was? 190 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,636 Why would I do that? 191 00:09:04,638 --> 00:09:08,306 Because she's your friend, and she did a nice job. 192 00:09:08,308 --> 00:09:09,858 I'm sure she'd like to hear it. 193 00:09:09,860 --> 00:09:12,744 All right. 194 00:09:13,613 --> 00:09:16,014 I didn't mean now. Hello? 195 00:09:17,785 --> 00:09:19,551 Yeah, yeah, you want a cigarette. 196 00:09:19,553 --> 00:09:20,852 Well, I'd like a normal boyfriend. 197 00:09:20,854 --> 00:09:23,372 Deal with it. 198 00:09:25,625 --> 00:09:26,708 Oh, hi. What's up? 199 00:09:26,710 --> 00:09:29,327 Um... 200 00:09:29,329 --> 00:09:31,029 You need me to shut the door 201 00:09:31,031 --> 00:09:33,432 so you can do your knocking thing? 202 00:09:34,217 --> 00:09:35,851 No. 203 00:09:35,853 --> 00:09:37,168 I didn't start yet; it's fine. 204 00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:39,271 Okay. So, what do you need? 205 00:09:39,273 --> 00:09:40,972 Well, I was thinking 206 00:09:40,974 --> 00:09:43,341 about you helping me out last night... 207 00:09:43,343 --> 00:09:46,111 Penny. 208 00:09:47,980 --> 00:09:50,782 And I just wanted to tell you... 209 00:09:50,784 --> 00:09:52,034 Penny. 210 00:09:52,036 --> 00:09:55,821 ...that the answer to the question, 211 00:09:55,823 --> 00:09:58,407 "Who did a great job?" is you. 212 00:09:59,191 --> 00:10:01,660 Penny. 213 00:10:01,662 --> 00:10:03,412 Really? 214 00:10:03,414 --> 00:10:06,030 Yes, you were very natural in front of the camera, 215 00:10:06,032 --> 00:10:08,884 and I found your suggestions extremely helpful. 216 00:10:08,886 --> 00:10:12,036 Aw, sweetie, you just made my day. 217 00:10:12,038 --> 00:10:13,538 Okay. 218 00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:17,342 Hey, my acting class is putting on a play Friday night. 219 00:10:17,344 --> 00:10:19,428 I could put you and Amy on the guest list. 220 00:10:19,430 --> 00:10:20,712 Oh, that sounds terrible. 221 00:10:20,714 --> 00:10:23,047 Why would I want to do that? 222 00:10:24,117 --> 00:10:25,550 That's right. 223 00:10:25,552 --> 00:10:29,521 They're no good without the lighter. 224 00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:32,657 Well, so much for your advice on complimenting Penny. 225 00:10:32,659 --> 00:10:34,392 Why? What happened? 226 00:10:34,394 --> 00:10:35,494 She tried to rope us into going 227 00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:37,228 to her acting class to see a play. 228 00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:38,363 Don't worry. 229 00:10:38,365 --> 00:10:39,531 Luckily, I had the good sense 230 00:10:39,533 --> 00:10:42,918 to drown that kitten in the river. 231 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,121 Sheldon, that's very rude. 232 00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:47,572 She helped you with your show. 233 00:10:47,574 --> 00:10:49,241 The right thing to do is reciprocate 234 00:10:49,243 --> 00:10:50,709 by going to see her play. 235 00:10:50,711 --> 00:10:52,705 Oh, so many crazy rules. 236 00:10:57,535 --> 00:10:58,864 That better be Tootsie Rolls 237 00:10:58,889 --> 00:11:00,061 you're throwing at me! 238 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,273 Penny. Penny. 239 00:11:05,275 --> 00:11:06,858 Penny. 240 00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:08,493 Oh yeah, much better. 241 00:11:10,662 --> 00:11:11,645 What? 242 00:11:11,647 --> 00:11:12,980 Amy pointed out to me 243 00:11:12,982 --> 00:11:15,283 that since you did something nice for me, 244 00:11:15,285 --> 00:11:18,036 I'm obligated to do something nice for you. 245 00:11:18,038 --> 00:11:19,287 So... 246 00:11:19,289 --> 00:11:22,290 yes, I'll go to your dopey play. 247 00:11:23,542 --> 00:11:25,159 Hey, I don't want you to go anymore. 248 00:11:25,161 --> 00:11:26,627 Why not? 249 00:11:26,629 --> 00:11:27,712 You should go 'cause you want to go, 250 00:11:27,714 --> 00:11:28,846 not because you have to. 251 00:11:28,848 --> 00:11:30,998 Oh, Dear Lord, more rules? Where does it stop? 252 00:11:32,101 --> 00:11:34,635 Can I want to go 253 00:11:34,637 --> 00:11:37,722 because I have to want to go? 254 00:11:37,724 --> 00:11:39,440 Okay. Do whatever you want. 255 00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:41,142 Yeah, but now, wait. 256 00:11:41,144 --> 00:11:43,177 Do whatever I want... 257 00:11:43,179 --> 00:11:46,280 or whatever I have to want? 258 00:11:47,282 --> 00:11:49,283 Oh, for God's sake, just come to the play. 259 00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:50,618 All right. 260 00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:53,071 I don't want to, but at least that makes sense. 261 00:11:58,256 --> 00:12:01,852 You know, I haven't seen Raj in several days. 262 00:12:01,853 --> 00:12:05,054 Is he no longer a part of our social group? 263 00:12:05,056 --> 00:12:08,074 And if so, should we be interviewing for a replacement? 264 00:12:09,543 --> 00:12:12,145 Perhaps, this time, we go Latin. 265 00:12:15,699 --> 00:12:18,918 He's just decided he's never leaving his apartment again. 266 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,369 Oh, brilliant. 267 00:12:20,371 --> 00:12:23,139 I've been itching to pull that trigger. 268 00:12:23,141 --> 00:12:26,609 He's upset because he can't get anywhere with women. 269 00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:30,079 Would it help if I gave him some pointers? 270 00:12:34,919 --> 00:12:36,886 I'm just funnin' ya. 271 00:12:42,076 --> 00:12:43,159 Hi. 272 00:12:43,161 --> 00:12:44,444 I don't know if you remember me, 273 00:12:44,446 --> 00:12:46,613 but I was here the other night at your party. 274 00:12:46,615 --> 00:12:49,165 Oh, yeah, you left with Raj. 275 00:12:49,167 --> 00:12:51,567 Uh, yeah. 276 00:12:51,569 --> 00:12:53,219 You're the one? 277 00:12:53,221 --> 00:12:54,570 Okay, let me tell you something. 278 00:12:54,572 --> 00:12:56,339 That guy you blew off 279 00:12:56,341 --> 00:12:58,758 happens to be my best friend. 280 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,376 Okay? He was devastated. 281 00:13:00,378 --> 00:13:02,545 Sorry. 282 00:13:02,547 --> 00:13:04,080 Can you just give him this? 283 00:13:04,082 --> 00:13:06,049 Okay. 284 00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:07,350 But I gotta warn you, 285 00:13:07,352 --> 00:13:10,803 Raj is a proud, passionate man. 286 00:13:10,805 --> 00:13:13,106 If you go running out on him again, 287 00:13:13,108 --> 00:13:16,442 you're only gonna get, like, three or four more chances 288 00:13:16,444 --> 00:13:17,944 before you are history. 289 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,282 Come on, she came back. 290 00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:23,483 This is good news. 291 00:13:23,485 --> 00:13:24,784 You should celebrate. 292 00:13:24,786 --> 00:13:26,953 I don't want to celebrate. 293 00:13:31,825 --> 00:13:34,043 Not even a little? 294 00:13:34,045 --> 00:13:35,912 I mean... we could have a pants party. 295 00:13:35,914 --> 00:13:37,297 Go put some on. 296 00:13:38,132 --> 00:13:39,615 Why would I want her number? 297 00:13:39,617 --> 00:13:41,334 I don't want anything to do with this woman. 298 00:13:41,336 --> 00:13:43,086 Oh, come on, Raj... No, you don't get it. 299 00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:45,388 I want nothing to do with any woman. 300 00:13:45,390 --> 00:13:47,590 My heart is stone. 301 00:13:49,226 --> 00:13:51,094 From now on, I'm a monk. 302 00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:53,896 I renounce all worldly pleasures. 303 00:13:53,898 --> 00:13:55,515 Except for lobster. 304 00:13:56,984 --> 00:13:59,152 And garlic butter. 305 00:13:59,154 --> 00:14:01,854 Boy, I want to tell you it's her loss, 306 00:14:01,856 --> 00:14:04,524 but you are not making it easy. 307 00:14:06,026 --> 00:14:09,362 You're-you're a good friend for trying to help, but... 308 00:14:09,364 --> 00:14:10,980 I've made my choice. 309 00:14:12,032 --> 00:14:13,149 All right. 310 00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:15,585 Well, I'll see you around. 311 00:14:15,587 --> 00:14:17,587 See you. 312 00:14:17,589 --> 00:14:19,639 Oh, wait-- take her number. 313 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,657 I don't want the temptation. 314 00:14:21,659 --> 00:14:23,960 Okay. 315 00:14:23,962 --> 00:14:25,628 I must be strong so I don't stray 316 00:14:25,630 --> 00:14:26,879 from my true purpose: 317 00:14:26,881 --> 00:14:29,098 the study of the universe. 318 00:14:30,968 --> 00:14:34,003 All right. 319 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,894 Thanks for ruining lobster for me. 320 00:14:47,184 --> 00:14:48,151 Wait! 321 00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:49,518 Give me the number! 322 00:14:51,405 --> 00:14:52,955 Give me the number! 323 00:14:52,957 --> 00:14:54,657 Give me the number! 324 00:14:55,876 --> 00:14:59,145 So, Amy, what's going on with your addiction study? 325 00:14:59,147 --> 00:15:02,532 Sadly, I'm no longer associated with that project. 326 00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:03,716 Why? What happened? 327 00:15:03,718 --> 00:15:05,668 Typical bureaucratic nonsense. 328 00:15:05,670 --> 00:15:08,204 You can get animals addicted to a harmful substance, 329 00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:09,505 you can dissect their brains, 330 00:15:09,507 --> 00:15:11,474 but you throw their own feces back at them 331 00:15:11,476 --> 00:15:13,375 and suddenly you're "unprofessional." 332 00:15:15,562 --> 00:15:16,929 I'm sorry... 333 00:15:17,881 --> 00:15:19,482 ...that I asked. 334 00:15:21,018 --> 00:15:24,070 All right, let's get this stupid play over with. 335 00:15:24,072 --> 00:15:25,071 Uh, hang on. 336 00:15:25,073 --> 00:15:26,072 Empty your pockets. 337 00:15:26,074 --> 00:15:27,023 Why? 338 00:15:27,025 --> 00:15:28,057 You know why. 339 00:15:28,059 --> 00:15:29,225 The Nintendo DS. 340 00:15:33,063 --> 00:15:35,031 And the PSP. 341 00:15:40,137 --> 00:15:41,287 Now the Gameboy. 342 00:15:42,206 --> 00:15:43,739 Aw, for Pete's sake. 343 00:15:45,042 --> 00:15:46,408 Can we go now? 344 00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:47,576 Well, is that all of it? 345 00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:58,988 Just set it down. 346 00:16:01,108 --> 00:16:03,226 Just so you know, this is not a stupid play. 347 00:16:03,228 --> 00:16:05,695 A Streetcar Named Desire is an American classic. 348 00:16:05,697 --> 00:16:07,964 It's about streetcars? 349 00:16:07,966 --> 00:16:10,733 Oh, great. I won't need this. 350 00:16:24,665 --> 00:16:26,299 Just a sec. 351 00:16:26,301 --> 00:16:28,468 Oh, who says "just a sec"? 352 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:29,785 I hate myself! 353 00:16:34,508 --> 00:16:35,975 Hello. 354 00:16:35,977 --> 00:16:37,293 Hi. 355 00:16:37,295 --> 00:16:38,678 Uh, would you like to come in? 356 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,481 Oh, no, I can't stay. 357 00:16:41,483 --> 00:16:43,149 Oh. 358 00:16:43,151 --> 00:16:45,351 I just wanted to say... 359 00:16:45,353 --> 00:16:47,737 I'm sorry for running out of the coffee shop. 360 00:16:47,739 --> 00:16:48,804 That wasn't cool. 361 00:16:48,806 --> 00:16:49,939 So, uh... 362 00:16:49,941 --> 00:16:51,991 Yeah. 363 00:16:51,993 --> 00:16:54,110 I'm sorry. 364 00:16:54,945 --> 00:16:56,195 Wait. 365 00:16:57,614 --> 00:16:59,916 Can you at least tell me what went wrong? 366 00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:01,317 It's okay. 367 00:17:01,319 --> 00:17:02,668 I can take anything. 368 00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:03,819 Unless it's something I did, 369 00:17:03,821 --> 00:17:04,871 or said, or am. 370 00:17:04,873 --> 00:17:06,289 'Cause those are, like, my buttons. 371 00:17:08,876 --> 00:17:11,377 No, it's not any of that. 372 00:17:11,379 --> 00:17:12,962 It's just... 373 00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:14,931 I kind of have a hard time 374 00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:16,999 around people I don't know. 375 00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:18,217 Really? 376 00:17:18,219 --> 00:17:19,302 Then what were you doing 377 00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:20,686 at the comic book store that night? 378 00:17:20,688 --> 00:17:24,106 I've been trying to force myself into situations 379 00:17:24,108 --> 00:17:25,341 that I'm not comfortable with. 380 00:17:25,343 --> 00:17:27,727 I saw the flyer in the store window, 381 00:17:27,729 --> 00:17:30,146 and I made myself go in. 382 00:17:30,148 --> 00:17:32,181 I don't even like comic books. 383 00:17:32,183 --> 00:17:33,515 Yeah, me neither. 384 00:17:33,517 --> 00:17:34,567 Then what were you doing there? 385 00:17:34,569 --> 00:17:36,569 I lied. I love them. 386 00:17:38,605 --> 00:17:40,456 I only said that so you'd go out with me. 387 00:17:40,458 --> 00:17:43,209 Oh, you don't want to do that. 388 00:17:43,211 --> 00:17:44,627 I'm kind of broken. 389 00:17:44,629 --> 00:17:46,045 That's great. 390 00:17:46,047 --> 00:17:47,029 I'm broken, too. 391 00:17:47,031 --> 00:17:48,331 Oh, no, you're not. 392 00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:49,365 Oh, I totally am. 393 00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:50,666 If it wasn't for this beer, 394 00:17:50,668 --> 00:17:52,201 I couldn't even talk to you right now. 395 00:17:52,203 --> 00:17:53,369 I'm a wreck. 396 00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:56,255 There are many things seriously wrong with me. 397 00:17:57,540 --> 00:17:59,091 And not quirks, either. 398 00:17:59,093 --> 00:18:03,930 Like... diagnosable psychological problems. 399 00:18:05,015 --> 00:18:07,216 Maybe brain damage. 400 00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:13,389 Well, how do I know you're not just saying that? 401 00:18:14,207 --> 00:18:16,725 Go out with me on one date, 402 00:18:16,727 --> 00:18:18,861 and I promise you, you'll see. 403 00:18:20,563 --> 00:18:21,563 Okay. 404 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,833 Text me. 405 00:18:23,835 --> 00:18:25,251 Bye. 406 00:18:26,169 --> 00:18:27,453 You won't regret it. 407 00:18:27,455 --> 00:18:29,571 I'm the most pathetic guy you've ever met. 408 00:18:31,408 --> 00:18:33,876 And that, boys and girls... 409 00:18:33,878 --> 00:18:36,045 is how it's done. 410 00:18:41,003 --> 00:18:43,936 You love her very much, don't you? 411 00:18:43,938 --> 00:18:44,870 Yes. 412 00:18:44,872 --> 00:18:46,305 I think you have 413 00:18:46,307 --> 00:18:48,240 a great capacity for devotion. 414 00:18:48,242 --> 00:18:51,243 You'll be lonely when she passes on, won't you? 415 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,247 I understand what that is. 416 00:18:55,249 --> 00:18:56,482 To be lonely? 417 00:18:56,484 --> 00:18:57,966 She's pretty good, huh? 418 00:18:57,968 --> 00:18:59,418 She is. 419 00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:02,921 But when do they get to the part about streetcars? 420 00:19:06,676 --> 00:19:08,327 ...when I was a very young girl. 421 00:19:08,329 --> 00:19:12,464 When I was 16 years old, I made the discovery... 422 00:19:12,466 --> 00:19:14,650 love. 423 00:19:16,135 --> 00:19:17,102 All at once, 424 00:19:17,104 --> 00:19:19,405 and much, much too completely. 425 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,908 It was like you suddenly turned a blinding light 426 00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,527 on something that had always been half a shadow. 427 00:19:26,913 --> 00:19:29,148 That's how it struck the world for me. 428 00:19:30,984 --> 00:19:33,535 But I was unlucky. 429 00:19:33,537 --> 00:19:35,454 Deluded. 430 00:19:35,456 --> 00:19:36,688 She's remarkable. 431 00:19:36,690 --> 00:19:37,873 She really is. 432 00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:39,124 Our Penny's a star. 433 00:19:39,126 --> 00:19:40,659 ...and softness and tenderness which... 434 00:19:40,661 --> 00:19:42,994 How can she remember all those lines, 435 00:19:42,996 --> 00:19:45,047 but as a waitress, she can't remember 436 00:19:45,049 --> 00:19:47,049 "no tomato" on my hamburger? 437 00:19:47,051 --> 00:19:52,051 == sync, corrected by elderman ==