1
00:00:10,014 --> 00:00:12,742
Sheldon, it's not a great time!
2
00:00:12,792 --> 00:00:14,567
What do you want?
3
00:00:14,767 --> 00:00:16,921
Hello to you, too.
4
00:00:17,546 --> 00:00:20,120
I'm sorry, but
this is important.
5
00:00:20,548 --> 00:00:22,033
What is it?
6
00:00:22,078 --> 00:00:26,079
Back to the Future II was in the
Back to the Future III case...
7
00:00:26,478 --> 00:00:28,973
and Back to the Future
III was-- get this--
8
00:00:28,979 --> 00:00:31,813
in the Back to the
Future II case.
9
00:00:32,264 --> 00:00:33,521
So?
10
00:00:34,044 --> 00:00:39,180
So, did you do that, or am I
in the house with an intruder?
11
00:00:39,899 --> 00:00:42,017
Sheldon, I got to go inside.
12
00:00:42,064 --> 00:00:44,409
It's getting rough out here.
13
00:00:45,822 --> 00:00:48,740
You're dodging the question;
I knew it was you.
14
00:00:52,361 --> 00:00:53,711
What was that?
15
00:00:53,956 --> 00:00:55,207
What was what?
16
00:00:55,219 --> 00:00:56,594
This isn't a very
good connection,
17
00:00:56,606 --> 00:00:59,891
but it sounded like someone
just released a kraken.
18
00:01:01,337 --> 00:01:02,675
Okay,
19
00:01:02,786 --> 00:01:04,670
I'm hanging up now.
20
00:01:04,687 --> 00:01:06,864
You know there's no
such thing as a...
21
00:01:09,213 --> 00:01:11,469
No...!
22
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,925
Penny... Penny...
23
00:01:14,956 --> 00:01:16,741
Penny...!
24
00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:18,867
What's the matter?
25
00:01:19,010 --> 00:01:20,885
Um...
26
00:01:21,058 --> 00:01:24,307
well, I was worried that you
might be missing Leonard.
27
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,874
And that might be causing
you to have bad dreams,
28
00:01:29,037 --> 00:01:31,434
like the kind you'd get if you
watched Clash of the Titans
29
00:01:31,453 --> 00:01:33,462
right before you went to bed.
30
00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:37,579
Sweetie, did you
have a bad dream?
31
00:01:38,562 --> 00:01:40,518
- To be honest, I did.
- Aw.
32
00:01:40,992 --> 00:01:44,513
Back to the Future II was in the
Back to the Future III case.
33
00:01:45,263 --> 00:01:46,935
Leonard did it.
34
00:01:47,302 --> 00:01:49,598
- Good night.
- No, wait.
35
00:01:50,461 --> 00:01:52,547
Perhaps I should sleep here
36
00:01:52,663 --> 00:01:55,233
so you don't miss
Leonard as much,
37
00:01:55,552 --> 00:01:58,117
uh, 'cause you're being
kind of a baby about it.
38
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,519
You know what? That would
make me feel better.
39
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:07,623
Thank you.
You're welcome.
40
00:02:11,886 --> 00:02:13,476
Good night.
41
00:02:15,626 --> 00:02:19,131
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
42
00:02:19,159 --> 00:02:22,930
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
43
00:02:22,961 --> 00:02:24,268
♪ The Earth began to cool
44
00:02:24,293 --> 00:02:27,232
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
45
00:02:27,262 --> 00:02:29,208
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
46
00:02:29,224 --> 00:02:32,073
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
47
00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:34,106
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
48
00:02:34,131 --> 00:02:35,224
♪ Bang! ♪
49
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,742
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x01 ♪
The Hofstadter Insufficiency
Original Air Date on September 26, 2013
50
00:02:37,774 --> 00:02:40,774
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
51
00:02:41,387 --> 00:02:44,543
I think you'd be pleased to hear that
this morning in the parking garage,
52
00:02:44,572 --> 00:02:48,816
I saw this oil stain on the ground that was
shaped just like my ex-girlfriend, Lucy,
53
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,954
and I didn't get upset at all.
54
00:02:52,628 --> 00:02:53,633
I'm proud of you.
55
00:02:53,648 --> 00:02:56,855
Well, you should be, 'cause
she was looking good.
56
00:02:57,573 --> 00:03:00,365
Dear Lord!
You're an astronomer.
57
00:03:00,422 --> 00:03:02,414
Although you may
have earthly woes,
58
00:03:02,445 --> 00:03:04,811
get your mind back
on the stars.
59
00:03:04,864 --> 00:03:09,416
Gee, even the lowly dung beetle chooses to
plot its course by using the Milky Way.
60
00:03:09,485 --> 00:03:10,826
Is that true?
61
00:03:10,910 --> 00:03:13,136
Everything I say is true.
62
00:03:13,356 --> 00:03:16,584
Now, of course, the dung beetle
also enjoys eating feces,
63
00:03:16,622 --> 00:03:21,099
living in feces and making
little balls out of feces. So...
64
00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:25,866
pick and choose which aspects of
its lifestyle you want to embrace.
65
00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:28,306
Come on,
you can talk to girls now.
66
00:03:28,319 --> 00:03:30,414
It shouldn't be hard for you
to meet someone new.
67
00:03:30,435 --> 00:03:34,158
How can I meet someone new when
everywhere I look, I see Lucy's face?
68
00:03:34,283 --> 00:03:38,348
Tell me you don't see her smile in
the crust of this chicken pot pie.
69
00:03:39,656 --> 00:03:41,572
Oh, will you stop it!
70
00:03:45,653 --> 00:03:48,925
Now, listen to me. There's a welcome
party for incoming post-docs tonight.
71
00:03:48,957 --> 00:03:53,605
Go to it and meet someone who
isn't made of grease or pie.
72
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:57,168
You think you're so cool
because your wife is a person?
73
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:03,517
Look, Bernie's at a
neuroscience conference with Amy--
74
00:04:03,552 --> 00:04:04,565
I'll go with you.
75
00:04:04,572 --> 00:04:05,960
- You would do that for me?
- Of course.
76
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:08,194
You're my friend. I
want you to be happy.
77
00:04:08,275 --> 00:04:09,338
Thanks.
78
00:04:09,365 --> 00:04:12,179
Oh, Sheldon, since Amy's out of
town, would you like to join us?
79
00:04:12,838 --> 00:04:14,919
I want you to be happy, too,
80
00:04:14,992 --> 00:04:17,976
but not enough to do
anything about it.
81
00:04:20,879 --> 00:04:23,235
Howie, stop. I can't
talk like that.
82
00:04:23,257 --> 00:04:25,301
Amy's right here.
83
00:04:25,897 --> 00:04:30,494
Sheldon, stop. For the last time,
I will not bring home bed bugs.
84
00:04:31,310 --> 00:04:34,353
The hotel's nice.
There's a pool, a gym--
85
00:04:34,378 --> 00:04:35,728
the bar looks like fun.
86
00:04:35,749 --> 00:04:39,188
Because I looked in the
bed, and there are no bugs.
87
00:04:39,741 --> 00:04:41,392
Aw, I love you, too.
88
00:04:41,470 --> 00:04:45,324
If I don't talk to you before you go
to sleep, I'll meet you in dreamland.
89
00:04:45,675 --> 00:04:46,925
Good night.
90
00:04:47,508 --> 00:04:50,582
No, I will not consider
sleeping in my garment bag.
91
00:04:53,714 --> 00:04:54,951
Penny,
92
00:04:54,976 --> 00:04:57,089
did you ever wonder how
Starfleet captains...
93
00:04:57,101 --> 00:04:58,698
No.
94
00:05:01,082 --> 00:05:03,266
Well, now that I've piqued
your interest,
95
00:05:03,285 --> 00:05:06,394
welcome to the exciting
world of 3D chess.
96
00:05:07,143 --> 00:05:09,222
Why don't you just admit you
only want to play this game
97
00:05:09,247 --> 00:05:12,363
because you always play it
with Leonard and you miss him?
98
00:05:12,823 --> 00:05:15,356
You overestimate his
significance in my life.
99
00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:16,468
Oh...
100
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:21,572
Do I miss how he makes a face on
my toaster waffle with syrup?
101
00:05:21,925 --> 00:05:22,997
No.
102
00:05:24,076 --> 00:05:27,855
Do I miss the way he fixes the zipper
on my jacket when it gets stuck?
103
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,293
I don't think so.
104
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,005
Do I miss how we say "good
night" to each other
105
00:05:33,017 --> 00:05:36,000
through the walls of our
bedroom using Morse code?
106
00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:43,924
Okay, I get it, I get it. You
are an emotionless robot.
107
00:05:43,961 --> 00:05:45,897
Well, I try.
108
00:05:47,152 --> 00:05:49,227
All right, let's just get
this stupid game over with.
109
00:05:49,239 --> 00:05:50,858
- Great. I'll go first.
- Okay.
110
00:05:51,058 --> 00:05:53,192
- By the way, how are you
with zippers? - Why?
111
00:05:53,217 --> 00:05:57,263
Well, I really need to go to the bathroom,
and this one's gone all cattywampus.
112
00:06:00,598 --> 00:06:04,727
Wow, your work on jellyfish neural
nets sounds so interesting.
113
00:06:04,852 --> 00:06:05,865
It is.
114
00:06:05,909 --> 00:06:08,476
You can download my paper
off the university server.
115
00:06:08,514 --> 00:06:10,602
I will. You can
download my paper
116
00:06:10,615 --> 00:06:13,717
on the Van Allen Belts from the
university server as well.
117
00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:15,211
I will.
118
00:06:17,593 --> 00:06:19,293
All right.
119
00:06:33,413 --> 00:06:36,438
- How'd it go?
- Well, if you like dry, factual statements
120
00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:40,447
interspersed with painful moments
of silence, it was bananas.
121
00:06:41,990 --> 00:06:45,040
Check it out. Mrs. Davis from
Human Resources is here.
122
00:06:45,126 --> 00:06:47,322
She's probably on the lookout
for sexual harassment.
123
00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:48,497
Oh, great.
124
00:06:48,515 --> 00:06:51,331
There go my chances
of being sexually harassed.
125
00:06:52,297 --> 00:06:56,253
I heard her husband left her
for a hot, young undergrad.
126
00:06:56,294 --> 00:06:59,078
That's so much better
than the old, ugly ones.
127
00:07:04,198 --> 00:07:06,319
Mr. Wolowitz, Dr. Koothrappali.
128
00:07:06,341 --> 00:07:08,364
Mrs. Davis,
nice to see you.
129
00:07:09,027 --> 00:07:13,610
You know, I recently read a fascinating
article on infidelity among penguins.
130
00:07:15,293 --> 00:07:16,698
Okay.
131
00:07:16,731 --> 00:07:20,655
So if the fact that your husband left
you makes you feel unattractive,
132
00:07:20,668 --> 00:07:24,544
just remember, penguins get
cheated on, and they're adorable.
133
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,784
It was better when you
couldn't talk to women.
134
00:07:42,843 --> 00:07:46,119
I was thinking of going to the lecture
on posterior cingulate cortex lesions
135
00:07:46,139 --> 00:07:48,348
in the formation of
autobiographical memory.
136
00:07:48,377 --> 00:07:50,366
Oh, brain lesions
are fascinating.
137
00:07:50,423 --> 00:07:53,082
Unless they're yours,
then they're a drag.
138
00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:56,269
To the advancement of science.
139
00:07:56,344 --> 00:07:59,266
And to the sick and dying
who make it possible.
140
00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:04,160
This is fun; we never really get
to talk shop with Penny around.
141
00:08:04,187 --> 00:08:06,256
We usually just end up
talking about boys.
142
00:08:06,356 --> 00:08:10,781
Which is fine, but it's nice to mix it up
with a little intellectual conversation.
143
00:08:10,956 --> 00:08:12,955
From the two gentlemen
at the bar.
144
00:08:12,974 --> 00:08:14,663
Oh, my gosh, boys
bought us drinks!
145
00:08:14,683 --> 00:08:16,800
Boys bought us drinks!
146
00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:19,403
Thank you, thank you,
thank you so much.
147
00:08:21,024 --> 00:08:22,630
- Be cool.
- You be cool!
148
00:08:22,655 --> 00:08:25,381
Guys are hitting on us, and
not just to get to Penny.
149
00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:29,672
You're right. Thank you.
150
00:08:34,295 --> 00:08:36,161
Ooh! Bad move.
151
00:08:37,622 --> 00:08:38,749
Really? Why?
152
00:08:38,775 --> 00:08:42,038
My queen can now take
your rook from below.
153
00:08:42,294 --> 00:08:45,259
So that means I lose, right?
It's over!
154
00:08:46,471 --> 00:08:48,763
If I make this move...
155
00:08:49,305 --> 00:08:52,163
but I won't because we're
having too much fun.
156
00:08:54,258 --> 00:08:55,944
Okay, let's take a break.
157
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,456
We're all out of alcohol.
158
00:08:58,903 --> 00:09:01,098
I wasn't going to get alcohol.
159
00:09:07,594 --> 00:09:11,075
Gosh, I wonder what Leonard's
doing right now. I miss him so much.
160
00:09:11,169 --> 00:09:14,144
Well, if you'd like,
we could call him.
161
00:09:14,261 --> 00:09:16,450
I-I mean that you
could call him.
162
00:09:16,607 --> 00:09:19,870
As I've explained, the absence of
my friends does not cause me pain.
163
00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:25,738
As rock and roll bad boy, Paul Simon, once
said, "I am a rock. I am an i-i-i-island."
164
00:09:27,594 --> 00:09:30,694
- I'm calling him.
- Oh, goodie! Put him on speakerphone!
165
00:09:38,934 --> 00:09:41,838
Excuse me, ladies, but
my pants are buzzing.
166
00:09:44,015 --> 00:09:46,592
North Sea, how can I "kelp" you?
167
00:09:48,437 --> 00:09:49,404
Leonard?
168
00:09:49,468 --> 00:09:51,329
Penny? Hey, it's Penny.
169
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:52,989
Everybody say hi to Penny.
170
00:09:53,004 --> 00:09:54,767
Hi, Penny!
171
00:09:55,732 --> 00:09:58,319
Wow, it sounds like
you're having a good time.
172
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:01,274
Best time of my life!
173
00:10:03,665 --> 00:10:05,960
Isn't it 5:30
in the morning there?
174
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:10,048
Is it? Hey, everybody,
it's 5:30 in the morning!
175
00:10:12,628 --> 00:10:16,307
Uh... okay, well, we were just calling
you because we were missing you.
176
00:10:16,331 --> 00:10:17,713
Iceberg!
177
00:10:17,735 --> 00:10:19,254
Uh-oh, hang on.
178
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:22,174
- Are you in danger?
- No, it's a drinking game.
179
00:10:22,192 --> 00:10:25,005
Whenever we see an
iceberg, we take a shot!
180
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:29,330
Berg! Berg! Berg! Berg!
Berg! Berg--
181
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,143
Leonard, Leonard?
182
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:36,707
I cannot believe we
were missing that jerk.
183
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:39,319
You were.
184
00:10:44,116 --> 00:10:45,664
So what happened?
How'd it go?
185
00:10:45,671 --> 00:10:48,970
It's fine. I thanked them again and
let them know we're not available.
186
00:10:48,994 --> 00:10:52,419
So I can drink this without
having to give up the goodies?
187
00:10:52,888 --> 00:10:54,504
Yes, it's all cool.
188
00:10:55,442 --> 00:10:59,113
Although, if you wanted to talk to
one of them, no one would blame you.
189
00:10:59,319 --> 00:11:01,460
And why would no one blame me?
190
00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:04,761
I don't know what I'm saying.
191
00:11:06,081 --> 00:11:09,720
Well, it sounds like you're saying
that I could do better than Sheldon.
192
00:11:09,808 --> 00:11:12,175
Boy, these drinks are strong!
193
00:11:13,413 --> 00:11:17,274
Hoo, mama, I'm gonna be
hugging the toilet tonight!
194
00:11:19,369 --> 00:11:22,455
No, tell me, I want to know
what you meant by that.
195
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:28,496
I just meant that you're not married
and your boyfriend's kind of...
196
00:11:28,633 --> 00:11:30,262
Sheldon.
197
00:11:31,678 --> 00:11:35,443
And your husband is extremely Howard.
What's your point?
198
00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:39,086
Sorry.
I have no point.
199
00:11:39,122 --> 00:11:40,941
That was a stupid thing to say.
200
00:11:40,981 --> 00:11:43,262
Can we please just go back
to having a nice time?
201
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:46,412
We could, but unfortunately
my brain is lesion-free
202
00:11:46,432 --> 00:11:50,252
and I remember that rotten thing you
just said about my sweet baboo.
203
00:11:50,685 --> 00:11:53,722
Come on. I apologize. Can
we please just let it go?
204
00:11:54,752 --> 00:11:56,812
- Sure.
- Thanks.
205
00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:01,765
Your husband's weird and his
clothes are ridiculous.
206
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,049
I can't believe it!
207
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:08,165
All this time I've been doing nothing
but sit around and miss that guy.
208
00:12:08,196 --> 00:12:09,578
And you know what
the worst part is?
209
00:12:09,591 --> 00:12:13,380
That you're having to process your
emotional pain without vodka?
210
00:12:18,711 --> 00:12:20,180
No.
211
00:12:20,858 --> 00:12:22,561
Yes.
212
00:12:23,624 --> 00:12:25,818
But you know what
the second-worst part is?
213
00:12:25,835 --> 00:12:27,485
He does not miss me at all.
214
00:12:27,573 --> 00:12:30,168
Allow me to comfort you.
215
00:12:30,396 --> 00:12:33,011
At least you've got your health.
216
00:12:36,105 --> 00:12:38,723
Really? Tha-That's it?
That's comforting?
217
00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:42,284
Um, uh, in a hundred years,
218
00:12:42,309 --> 00:12:45,312
you'll both be dead
and it won't matter?
219
00:12:46,782 --> 00:12:48,801
No! Come on! You're
supposed to say,
220
00:12:48,826 --> 00:12:53,595
"Of course he misses you. The only reason
he's partying is to cover up his pain."
221
00:12:53,808 --> 00:12:56,173
Oh, no, I don't think
that's true at all.
222
00:12:58,366 --> 00:12:59,797
This is ridiculous.
223
00:12:59,827 --> 00:13:02,773
Why am I upset just because
he's off having a good time?
224
00:13:02,836 --> 00:13:04,042
Well...
225
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:07,067
perhaps you're obsessively
picturing him
226
00:13:07,088 --> 00:13:10,765
engaged in drunken coitus
with another woman.
227
00:13:14,142 --> 00:13:16,597
Is that it?
Did I get it right?
228
00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:22,085
Okay, tha-that's great. You can stop
trying to make me feel better now.
229
00:13:22,118 --> 00:13:24,843
Actually, I can't.
Before Leonard left,
230
00:13:24,868 --> 00:13:27,352
he made me promise that
I'd take care of you.
231
00:13:27,642 --> 00:13:29,403
- He did?
- Yes.
232
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:31,853
Oh, that's really sweet.
233
00:13:31,871 --> 00:13:36,042
Plus, if I do a good job, he said
he'd bring me back a sailor's cap.
234
00:13:38,792 --> 00:13:40,651
Now I miss him even more.
235
00:13:40,773 --> 00:13:41,864
Well,
236
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:45,339
if it's any consolation, I'm
sure Leonard's tormented
237
00:13:45,364 --> 00:13:50,180
every moment he's away from your
warm embrace and cherry lips.
238
00:13:52,244 --> 00:13:55,020
- Thanks.
- Oh, seriously?
239
00:13:58,084 --> 00:14:00,041
Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Davis?
240
00:14:00,271 --> 00:14:01,570
What?
241
00:14:01,872 --> 00:14:04,666
I'd like to apologize
for being insensitive.
242
00:14:05,029 --> 00:14:07,641
And for possibly making
penguins seem like jerks,
243
00:14:07,654 --> 00:14:10,740
'cause 99% of them
are stand-up guys.
244
00:14:12,295 --> 00:14:13,886
Forget about it.
245
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:18,133
You know, you-you and I, you
and I have a lot in common.
246
00:14:18,289 --> 00:14:21,083
- Is that right?
- Oh, yes, I-I, too,
247
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,405
am in the throes of heartbreak.
248
00:14:24,016 --> 00:14:26,141
Okay, fine,
I'll tell you about it.
249
00:14:28,723 --> 00:14:32,359
Here is a hot beverage
to comfort you.
250
00:14:33,032 --> 00:14:36,738
It's in a to-go cup. Make
of that what you will.
251
00:14:39,833 --> 00:14:42,949
Come on. It's still early.
Let's do something.
252
00:14:43,599 --> 00:14:48,240
Well, I have been toying around
with an idea for 4-D chess.
253
00:14:48,568 --> 00:14:49,969
How about we just talk?
254
00:14:50,005 --> 00:14:51,143
All right.
255
00:14:51,207 --> 00:14:53,473
- In 4-D chess...
- No.
256
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,812
Come on, let's talk
about our lives.
257
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,848
Tell me something about
you I don't know.
258
00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:00,580
Hmm.
259
00:15:02,376 --> 00:15:05,039
I own nine pairs of pants.
260
00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:09,463
Okay, that-that's a good start,
261
00:15:09,482 --> 00:15:11,938
but I was thinking maybe something
a little more personal.
262
00:15:12,016 --> 00:15:13,842
- I see.
- Hmm.
263
00:15:15,066 --> 00:15:18,222
I own nine pairs of underpants.
264
00:15:21,347 --> 00:15:23,115
How about I go first?
265
00:15:23,135 --> 00:15:25,712
But I don't want to know how
many underpants you own.
266
00:15:26,219 --> 00:15:29,618
Although, based on the floor of your
bedroom, I'd say it's a thousand.
267
00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:33,725
Okay, look, here's something
people do not know about me.
268
00:15:34,191 --> 00:15:35,811
When I first moved out
to L.A.,
269
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:40,272
I did a topless scene in a low-budget
horror movie about a killer gorilla.
270
00:15:40,338 --> 00:15:42,538
Ugh! After I did it,
I felt so ashamed.
271
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,125
Thankfully, that thing
never came out.
272
00:15:45,538 --> 00:15:47,462
I've seen that.
273
00:15:49,102 --> 00:15:50,315
Yeah.
274
00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:52,478
Serial Apeist.
275
00:15:54,591 --> 00:15:57,835
- Howard found it online the
day we met you. - Oh, God...
276
00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:01,336
And it was literally the moment
you walked out the door.
277
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:07,301
But I see the type of personal
revelations you're going for.
278
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,898
Okay, here's one I thought
I'd take to the grave.
279
00:16:10,921 --> 00:16:12,204
Okay.
280
00:16:12,824 --> 00:16:14,237
Hmm.
281
00:16:14,876 --> 00:16:16,259
A while back,
282
00:16:16,491 --> 00:16:19,164
YouTube changed
its user interface
283
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:23,676
from a star-based rating system
to a thumbs-up rating system.
284
00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:26,355
I tell people I'm okay with it,
285
00:16:26,524 --> 00:16:28,524
but I'm really not.
286
00:16:33,695 --> 00:16:35,745
That's your big revelation?
287
00:16:35,970 --> 00:16:37,409
Yes.
288
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:40,312
Whew! I feel ten pounds lighter.
289
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:45,434
Okay, you know what? I give up.
I'm going to bed.
290
00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:48,891
Here's something else
you don't know about me:
291
00:16:48,953 --> 00:16:50,841
you just hurt my feelings.
292
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:52,296
What did I do?
293
00:16:52,347 --> 00:16:55,402
I opened up and shared something
deeply upsetting to me,
294
00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:57,864
and you treated it
as if it were nothing.
295
00:16:58,796 --> 00:17:00,546
I-I didn't think
it was a big deal.
296
00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:03,417
It is to me; that's the point.
297
00:17:06,003 --> 00:17:07,687
Sheldon, you are right.
298
00:17:07,702 --> 00:17:10,215
I'm really sorry. I
should've known better.
299
00:17:10,824 --> 00:17:12,934
Your apology is accepted.
300
00:17:13,223 --> 00:17:14,554
Thank you.
301
00:17:14,911 --> 00:17:16,764
- How about a hug?
- How about a hearty handshake?
302
00:17:16,795 --> 00:17:18,569
Come on.
303
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:26,652
Now I know how you felt getting
mauled by that sex-crazed gorilla.
304
00:17:43,594 --> 00:17:45,786
- Good night.
- Mm-hmm.
305
00:17:52,347 --> 00:17:55,448
It was rather flattering to
have strangers send us drinks.
306
00:17:55,848 --> 00:17:57,873
Yeah, that felt nice.
307
00:17:59,348 --> 00:18:01,518
Maybe tomorrow morning
308
00:18:01,617 --> 00:18:05,218
we put on some hot pants and see if
we can score us some free omelets.
309
00:18:08,058 --> 00:18:11,771
So, hypothetically, if-if we
were to have gone with them,
310
00:18:11,859 --> 00:18:13,809
which one would you have picked?
311
00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:19,129
I think I would have gone with the
short one with the goofy haircut.
312
00:18:19,173 --> 00:18:21,711
Oh, good, 'cause I liked
the tall thin one.
313
00:18:21,747 --> 00:18:24,385
He seemed intelligent,
kind of a loner,
314
00:18:24,453 --> 00:18:29,058
maybe a little sexually inexperienced,
like I'd have to teach him a thing or two.
315
00:18:31,869 --> 00:18:33,051
Not my guy.
316
00:18:33,069 --> 00:18:35,019
I caught him staring at my rack.
317
00:18:36,066 --> 00:18:40,045
It'd be nice to be with a man who wants
to know what's underneath my cardigan.
318
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,338
FYI, it's another cardigan.
319
00:18:46,363 --> 00:18:49,422
Your short sexed-up guy
kind of sounds like Howard.
320
00:18:49,494 --> 00:18:52,762
Your brainy virgin kind
of sounds like Sheldon.
321
00:18:53,536 --> 00:18:55,371
- Good night.
- Night.
322
00:18:58,575 --> 00:19:01,290
All right, Dr. Koothrappali,
it's been nice talking to you,
323
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,395
but I need to go home and
relieve my babysitter.
324
00:19:03,528 --> 00:19:05,639
Yeah, I can relate
to being a single parent.
325
00:19:05,655 --> 00:19:07,243
I have a dog.
326
00:19:07,945 --> 00:19:10,294
Yeah, it's exactly
the same thing.
327
00:19:10,481 --> 00:19:11,657
Good night.
328
00:19:11,714 --> 00:19:13,380
Mrs. Davis...
329
00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:15,100
I, uh,
330
00:19:15,194 --> 00:19:16,525
I must confess,
331
00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:20,495
I came here tonight in a futile attempt
to pick up some lonely postdoc,
332
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:24,201
but instead I got to connect
with you at a human level.
333
00:19:24,428 --> 00:19:26,065
That's a
334
00:19:26,141 --> 00:19:28,141
much better evening.
335
00:19:28,539 --> 00:19:30,208
You're a lovely person.
336
00:19:30,533 --> 00:19:31,846
Are you hitting on me?
337
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:34,249
No, no, no, that would be crazy!
338
00:19:34,324 --> 00:19:35,866
I mean, if I were hitting
on you, you'd know it
339
00:19:35,886 --> 00:19:39,030
'cause you'd feel uncomfortable
and a little sad for me.
340
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,524
You're sweet.
341
00:19:45,172 --> 00:19:47,089
Good night, Dr. Koothrappali.
342
00:19:47,397 --> 00:19:49,004
Good night.
343
00:19:50,893 --> 00:19:53,111
Looks like she accepted
your apology.
344
00:19:53,144 --> 00:19:56,657
And then some. I think
we had a moment.
345
00:19:57,638 --> 00:19:59,263
Oh, please, you did not
have a moment.
346
00:19:59,288 --> 00:20:01,571
Who died and made you
king of moments?
347
00:20:03,945 --> 00:20:06,453
Okay, fine. Let's say
there was a moment.
348
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,679
- There was.
- There wasn't.
349
00:20:07,697 --> 00:20:09,317
But...
350
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:12,848
But even if there was, what
are you gonna do about it?
351
00:20:13,448 --> 00:20:18,576
I will slowly seduce her until
she falls helpless into my bed,
352
00:20:18,614 --> 00:20:20,539
hungry for the pleasure
only I can give her.
353
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,605
- So nothing.
- No, not a thing.
354
00:20:26,679 --> 00:20:28,110
Ah...
355
00:20:28,818 --> 00:20:34,930
I'm so glad the police finally caught that
psychotic genetically engineered ape.
356
00:20:40,050 --> 00:20:42,124
That is my girlfriend!
I swear to God!
357
00:20:43,705 --> 00:20:47,301
Leonard! Leonard!
Leonard! Leonard!
358
00:20:50,741 --> 00:20:55,741
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther