0
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,800
English (HI) Subtitles.
[MP4] The Big Bang Theory S08E22 (720p) The Graduation Transmission - HDTV [KoTuWa]
1
00:00:02,018 --> 00:00:03,919
It's, like,
the best one they make,
2
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:05,954
I just can't get it to work.
I'll figure it out.
3
00:00:05,956 --> 00:00:09,391
It streams HD video straight
to your phone while it's flying.
4
00:00:09,393 --> 00:00:10,792
Nice.
5
00:00:10,794 --> 00:00:13,095
Where were you
when I was single?
6
00:00:15,698 --> 00:00:18,433
Okay, we should leave in
about an hour. You all packed?
7
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,769
Uh, yeah, I just need to throw
in a few last minute things--
8
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:23,071
you know, makeup,
underwear, clothes.
9
00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:25,641
If your bathroom floor
10
00:00:25,643 --> 00:00:27,643
counts as a carry-on,
you're packed.
11
00:00:28,578 --> 00:00:30,145
Leonard,
have you ever given
12
00:00:30,147 --> 00:00:31,680
a high school
commencement speech before?
13
00:00:31,682 --> 00:00:33,382
Nope. It's pretty exciting.
14
00:00:33,384 --> 00:00:35,784
Aren't you afraid
of being blinded?
15
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,519
How would I be blinded?
16
00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:39,187
At the end of the ceremony,
17
00:00:39,189 --> 00:00:41,923
all the students throw
those pointy hats in the air.
18
00:00:43,059 --> 00:00:44,459
It's all pomp and circumstance
19
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,029
until someone loses an eye.
20
00:00:47,031 --> 00:00:48,664
I'll take my chances.
21
00:00:48,666 --> 00:00:49,865
Fine.
22
00:00:49,867 --> 00:00:51,133
I wonder if they make
23
00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:53,368
"I told you so"
cards in braille.
24
00:00:55,104 --> 00:00:56,938
Look, the problem
with commencement speeches
25
00:00:56,940 --> 00:00:58,907
is that they're boring.
26
00:00:58,909 --> 00:01:01,143
Ooh, do you own
a T-shirt cannon?
27
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:04,012
Why would he own
a T-shirt cannon?
28
00:01:04,014 --> 00:01:06,114
I don't know. Why do I own one?
29
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,483
I think it's really nice
30
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,018
that you're sharing
this experience with Penny.
31
00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:11,520
Mm, I thought
it'd be fun
32
00:01:11,522 --> 00:01:13,388
to show her my old
stomping grounds.
33
00:01:13,390 --> 00:01:16,858
I even know the exact spot
where they used to stomp me.
34
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:19,094
Well, now you
get to go back
35
00:01:19,096 --> 00:01:20,462
as a successful
scientist.
36
00:01:20,464 --> 00:01:22,464
With a beautiful girl
on your arm.
37
00:01:22,466 --> 00:01:25,334
And a pointy hat sticking
out of your eyeball.
38
00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:28,970
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
39
00:01:28,972 --> 00:01:32,307
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
40
00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:33,942
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
41
00:01:33,944 --> 00:01:36,478
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
42
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,147
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
43
00:01:39,149 --> 00:01:41,817
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
44
00:01:41,819 --> 00:01:43,752
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
45
00:01:43,754 --> 00:01:45,687
♪ Bang! ♪
46
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:49,688
♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x22 ♪
The Graduation Transmission
Original Air Date: 2015-04-23
47
00:01:49,689 --> 00:01:54,789
Sync, corrected by elderman
@elder_man
48
00:01:54,883 --> 00:01:56,701
How'd you get
ready so fast?
49
00:01:56,702 --> 00:01:58,034
Oh, I pack light.
50
00:01:58,036 --> 00:01:59,703
Once, I got through
an entire spring break
51
00:01:59,705 --> 00:02:01,905
with nothing
but a long T-shirt and a belt.
52
00:02:03,474 --> 00:02:04,841
Why did you need a belt?
53
00:02:04,843 --> 00:02:07,778
It's called an
evening look.
54
00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:09,980
I've never been to
New Jersey before.
55
00:02:09,982 --> 00:02:11,882
It gets a bad rap from shows
56
00:02:11,884 --> 00:02:14,050
like Jersey Shore
and Real Housewives.
57
00:02:14,052 --> 00:02:15,685
So it's not
really like that?
58
00:02:15,687 --> 00:02:17,854
No, it's like that.
59
00:02:18,856 --> 00:02:20,624
Well, I'm excited
to show you around.
60
00:02:20,626 --> 00:02:22,726
You think we'll have time
to visit your mom over there?
61
00:02:22,728 --> 00:02:25,796
Yes. We'll also have time to put
my junk in a garlic press,
62
00:02:25,798 --> 00:02:28,165
but I'm not
doing that either.
63
00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:30,934
(phone chimes)
64
00:02:30,936 --> 00:02:32,436
Uh-oh.
65
00:02:32,438 --> 00:02:34,171
I just got an alert.
66
00:02:34,173 --> 00:02:35,372
Our flight's
been canceled.
67
00:02:35,374 --> 00:02:36,406
What?
68
00:02:36,408 --> 00:02:37,841
Yeah, looks like
there's a big storm
69
00:02:37,843 --> 00:02:39,376
all up the East Coast.
70
00:02:39,378 --> 00:02:41,278
Well, can we get
on another airline?
71
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,646
I don't think so.
72
00:02:42,648 --> 00:02:43,947
So, that's it?
73
00:02:43,949 --> 00:02:44,949
We're not going?
74
00:02:44,950 --> 00:02:47,217
I guess not.
(scoffs)
75
00:02:47,219 --> 00:02:48,251
Well, that sucks.
76
00:02:48,253 --> 00:02:49,352
Yeah.
77
00:02:49,354 --> 00:02:50,620
I worked hard on
that speech, too.
78
00:02:50,622 --> 00:02:52,823
Oh. You could tell it to me.
79
00:02:52,825 --> 00:02:54,458
Oh, thank you,
but I'm okay.
80
00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:55,859
Are you sure?
81
00:02:55,861 --> 00:02:57,494
I could pretend I'm a
high school cheerleader
82
00:02:57,496 --> 00:02:59,830
who can't control herself
around esteemed alumni.
83
00:03:01,866 --> 00:03:03,934
Greetings, distinguished
cheerleaders.
84
00:03:03,936 --> 00:03:06,203
Ooh!
85
00:03:07,338 --> 00:03:09,840
Okay, the WiFi extender
is on, the camera's on,
86
00:03:09,842 --> 00:03:11,174
they're both on
the same network;
87
00:03:11,176 --> 00:03:12,509
we should be
getting an image.
88
00:03:12,511 --> 00:03:14,911
All I see is a black screen.
89
00:03:14,913 --> 00:03:16,546
And my own reflection.
90
00:03:18,015 --> 00:03:19,082
I look sad.
91
00:03:21,252 --> 00:03:22,986
Maybe we should
recalibrate it.
92
00:03:22,988 --> 00:03:24,688
All right.
Step one:
93
00:03:24,690 --> 00:03:26,723
rapidly flip
the calibration switch
94
00:03:26,725 --> 00:03:28,758
from the fully up
to the fully down positions
95
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,427
for at least ten times.
96
00:03:30,429 --> 00:03:33,330
It actually says "at least"?
97
00:03:33,332 --> 00:03:34,965
Yeah.
98
00:03:34,967 --> 00:03:36,533
Why would they say "at least"?
99
00:03:36,535 --> 00:03:37,968
Is it ten toggles?
100
00:03:37,970 --> 00:03:39,903
Is it 100 toggles? You know?
101
00:03:39,905 --> 00:03:41,771
Is it 1,000 toggles?
102
00:03:41,773 --> 00:03:43,573
10,000 toggles?
100,000 toggles?
103
00:03:43,575 --> 00:03:46,076
Sheldon!
104
00:03:46,078 --> 00:03:48,979
You see where
I'm going with this.
105
00:03:48,981 --> 00:03:51,081
Just flip the switch
106
00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:54,217
until the lights on the drone
change to solid yellow.
107
00:03:54,219 --> 00:03:56,419
All right,
that seems simple enough.
108
00:03:56,421 --> 00:03:59,489
Initiating calibration sequence.
109
00:03:59,491 --> 00:04:01,558
One, two, three, four,
110
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:05,328
five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten.
111
00:04:07,865 --> 00:04:11,301
Well, I suppose ten
is technically "at least ten."
112
00:04:13,204 --> 00:04:16,072
But they're still getting
at least one angry letter.
113
00:04:18,209 --> 00:04:20,744
Now I rotate
it horizontally
114
00:04:20,746 --> 00:04:24,781
on its center axis until
the lights turn green.
115
00:04:24,783 --> 00:04:26,950
Initiating rotation sequence.
116
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,922
Don't look at me, initiate.
117
00:04:34,892 --> 00:04:36,459
Oh...
What does red and yellow mean?
118
00:04:36,461 --> 00:04:38,094
It means the
calibration failed.
119
00:04:38,096 --> 00:04:39,529
We have to start over.
120
00:04:39,531 --> 00:04:40,463
Oh. Very well.
121
00:04:40,465 --> 00:04:43,567
Reinitiating
calibration sequence.
122
00:04:43,569 --> 00:04:45,302
One, two, three, four,
123
00:04:45,304 --> 00:04:48,738
five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten...
124
00:04:51,108 --> 00:04:53,944
...eleven.
125
00:04:55,179 --> 00:04:58,648
It's a good thing
I didn't send that letter.
126
00:05:01,319 --> 00:05:03,520
(Skype ringtone plays)
127
00:05:04,789 --> 00:05:07,190
Mm. Hello, Daddy. What's up?
128
00:05:07,192 --> 00:05:09,626
Not much, just wanted to see
how my son's doing.
129
00:05:09,628 --> 00:05:11,561
Very well, thank you.
130
00:05:11,563 --> 00:05:13,663
Are you still dating
that dermatologist?
131
00:05:13,665 --> 00:05:16,366
If you could feel
how soft my skin is,
132
00:05:16,368 --> 00:05:19,035
you wouldn't have to ask.
133
00:05:19,037 --> 00:05:22,172
Oh, and there's something else
I wanted to ask you.
134
00:05:22,174 --> 00:05:26,409
Why did you spend a month's rent
on a toy helicopter?!
135
00:05:26,411 --> 00:05:30,180
Oh, you're where that bill goes.
136
00:05:30,182 --> 00:05:33,316
I'm tired of indulging
your foolish lifestyle.
137
00:05:33,318 --> 00:05:34,884
It's time you learned
responsibility.
138
00:05:34,886 --> 00:05:36,453
And the only way
to teach you that
139
00:05:36,455 --> 00:05:37,921
is to cut off your allowance.
140
00:05:37,923 --> 00:05:39,723
No, Daddy, no!
141
00:05:39,725 --> 00:05:41,992
There are lots of other ways
to teach me responsibility.
142
00:05:41,994 --> 00:05:43,660
I know, you can give me an egg
143
00:05:43,662 --> 00:05:46,363
and make me take care of it
for a week!
144
00:05:46,365 --> 00:05:48,665
No, my mind is made up.
145
00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:49,966
Starting now,
you're on your own.
146
00:05:49,968 --> 00:05:53,837
But, Daddy,
I-I miss my family so much,
147
00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:56,106
and with you and Mummy
getting a divorce,
148
00:05:56,108 --> 00:05:57,907
I feel sad and empty.
149
00:05:57,909 --> 00:05:59,476
Buying a little toy
150
00:05:59,478 --> 00:06:02,212
every now and then
helps me fill that void.
151
00:06:02,214 --> 00:06:04,447
So while I can't
hug you every day,
152
00:06:04,449 --> 00:06:06,116
flying that helicopter...
153
00:06:06,118 --> 00:06:07,283
I'm cutting you off.
154
00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:11,454
Just to be clear,
financially or mid-sentence?
155
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:15,759
No red and yellow,
156
00:06:15,761 --> 00:06:17,227
no red and yellow.
157
00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:18,995
Yay!
It's green!
158
00:06:18,997 --> 00:06:20,463
We did it!
159
00:06:20,465 --> 00:06:21,898
Oh!
160
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:26,236
God, if it's this much fun to
rotate, imagine when we fly it.
161
00:06:26,238 --> 00:06:29,039
Okay, now all I have to do
is rotate it vertically
162
00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:32,275
until the lights turn off.
163
00:06:32,277 --> 00:06:34,110
Oh, no!
Oh!
164
00:06:34,112 --> 00:06:37,213
All right,
playtime's over.
165
00:06:37,215 --> 00:06:38,948
Let's open
this baby up.
166
00:06:38,950 --> 00:06:41,217
Won't that void the warranty?
167
00:06:41,219 --> 00:06:45,355
Sheldon, I have a master's
degree in engineering.
168
00:06:45,357 --> 00:06:48,992
I wipe my bottom
with warranties.
169
00:06:50,127 --> 00:06:51,828
Except for AppleCare.
170
00:06:51,830 --> 00:06:54,798
That pays for itself
in the long run.
171
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:58,001
Hi.
172
00:06:58,003 --> 00:06:59,235
Hey, where'd you go?
173
00:06:59,237 --> 00:07:02,305
I got you a little something
to cheer you up.
174
00:07:02,307 --> 00:07:03,273
Really?
175
00:07:03,275 --> 00:07:04,908
Sex last night,
pancakes this morning--
176
00:07:04,910 --> 00:07:07,677
Am I dying?
(chuckles)
177
00:07:07,679 --> 00:07:10,346
Just open it.
178
00:07:10,348 --> 00:07:11,514
A cap and gown?
179
00:07:11,516 --> 00:07:13,116
Why do I need a cap and gown?
180
00:07:13,118 --> 00:07:16,152
Because you are giving
your commencement speech.
181
00:07:16,154 --> 00:07:17,153
What are you talking about?
182
00:07:17,155 --> 00:07:18,521
I called your old high school
183
00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:21,958
and convinced them to let you
give your speech over Skype.
184
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:22,992
Really?
185
00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:23,994
That's amazing!
186
00:07:23,995 --> 00:07:26,096
And you gave me the robes
to give it in.
187
00:07:26,098 --> 00:07:27,297
Thank you.
188
00:07:27,299 --> 00:07:28,231
Yeah, now about those--
189
00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:29,766
uh, they came from
a costume shop,
190
00:07:29,768 --> 00:07:32,268
and all they had left
was sexy graduate,
191
00:07:32,270 --> 00:07:33,336
so they...
192
00:07:33,338 --> 00:07:36,139
might be a little short.
193
00:07:36,141 --> 00:07:39,008
Short and sexy,
that's my wheelhouse.
194
00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:40,810
Yeah!
195
00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:52,789
Boy, oh, boy,
that's a lot of pieces.
196
00:07:52,791 --> 00:07:54,691
You know
what they all do, right?
197
00:07:54,693 --> 00:07:56,860
Yes, of course.
198
00:07:56,862 --> 00:07:58,128
What about this one?
199
00:07:58,130 --> 00:08:00,930
Well, I...
how familiar are you
200
00:08:00,932 --> 00:08:03,366
with miniaturized
integrated logic circuits?
201
00:08:03,368 --> 00:08:04,501
Not very.
202
00:08:04,503 --> 00:08:05,668
That right there
is a miniaturized
203
00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:06,870
integrated logic circuit.
204
00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:12,075
So, can you
get it working?
205
00:08:12,077 --> 00:08:14,744
I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
206
00:08:14,746 --> 00:08:17,147
I've built components
for the space station.
207
00:08:17,149 --> 00:08:20,850
I thought the zero-gravity
toilet didn't work.
208
00:08:20,852 --> 00:08:22,552
It worked fine,
209
00:08:22,554 --> 00:08:25,355
it just wasn't designed
for Russian cosmonauts
210
00:08:25,357 --> 00:08:28,024
and their potato-based diet.
211
00:08:28,026 --> 00:08:29,692
Hey, guys.
212
00:08:29,694 --> 00:08:31,127
Hey.
Hello.
213
00:08:31,129 --> 00:08:33,096
I have to return the helicopter.
My father...
214
00:08:33,098 --> 00:08:36,332
What did you do?!
215
00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:38,701
Well, don't worry.
216
00:08:38,703 --> 00:08:40,069
He went to MIT.
217
00:08:40,071 --> 00:08:41,871
He can solve any problem,
218
00:08:41,873 --> 00:08:45,308
as long as it doesn't originate
in a Russian man's colon.
219
00:08:55,017 --> 00:08:56,617
I don't freaking
believe this!
220
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:57,985
Relax, it'll be fine.
221
00:08:57,987 --> 00:08:59,620
No, you have to put
this back together
222
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,455
right now,
so I can return it!
223
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:03,124
You can't return it.
224
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:06,127
Howard wiped his bottom
with the warranty.
225
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,962
What?!
226
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,697
I think metaphorically.
227
00:09:09,699 --> 00:09:12,133
But he was in the bathroom
for a while.
228
00:09:14,403 --> 00:09:15,770
Howard, my father cut me off.
229
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:17,438
I have to get my money back
for this!
230
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,739
Calm down.
231
00:09:18,741 --> 00:09:19,974
Okay.
232
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,709
Okay, you're right.
233
00:09:21,711 --> 00:09:23,611
It's time for me to step up
234
00:09:23,613 --> 00:09:25,580
and take responsibility
for my life.
235
00:09:26,515 --> 00:09:27,982
Be a man.
236
00:09:30,285 --> 00:09:33,321
Hello, Mummy.
237
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,689
Hello, Rajesh.
238
00:09:34,691 --> 00:09:36,624
What a nice surprise.
239
00:09:36,626 --> 00:09:37,925
Well, I've been
thinking about you.
240
00:09:37,927 --> 00:09:39,060
How are you doing?
241
00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:40,661
Are you happy, Mummy?
242
00:09:41,296 --> 00:09:43,297
Such a sweet boy for asking.
243
00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:47,368
Can't believe you come from
the poison seed of your father.
244
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:49,837
Well, I like to think
I take mostly after you.
245
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,272
Anyway,
speaking of Daddy,
246
00:09:51,274 --> 00:09:53,608
I had a very strange
conversation with him.
247
00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:55,943
He said he couldn't afford
to send me money anymore
248
00:09:55,945 --> 00:09:58,179
because of
his active social life.
249
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:02,817
What does that mean,
"active social life"?
250
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,185
Well, let's not talk about him
251
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,487
or whatever shenanigans
he may or may not be up to.
252
00:10:06,489 --> 00:10:07,588
Let's talk about you.
253
00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:10,925
Rajesh, is your father
seeing someone?
254
00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:12,426
All I know, Mummy, is that
255
00:10:12,428 --> 00:10:15,596
he's a single wealthy doctor,
and now, for some reason,
256
00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:18,866
there's no money
for your little boy.
257
00:10:20,469 --> 00:10:23,204
Well, however much money
your father was giving you,
258
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,338
I'll give you more.
259
00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:26,273
Thank you, Mummy, I love you!
260
00:10:26,275 --> 00:10:28,442
(quietly):
Helicopters for everybody!
261
00:10:30,912 --> 00:10:33,214
What's taking so long?
262
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:34,682
LEONARD: I don't think
this is gonna work.
263
00:10:34,684 --> 00:10:36,050
Just let me see.
264
00:10:41,490 --> 00:10:44,191
Sweetie, you know
you're supposed to wear clothes
265
00:10:44,193 --> 00:10:45,860
underneath a graduation gown.
266
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,895
A: surprised you know that.
267
00:10:49,031 --> 00:10:52,199
B: I wanted to look like
a sexy graduate for you.
268
00:10:52,201 --> 00:10:53,167
Oh.
269
00:10:53,169 --> 00:10:54,301
Well, you do.
270
00:10:54,303 --> 00:10:55,736
Oh. Thank you.
271
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,505
Yeah.
272
00:10:57,507 --> 00:11:00,241
You're gonna be on Skype;
they're not gonna see your legs.
273
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,143
Well, I'm gonna go put on
some pants just in case.
274
00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:04,879
But I have to say,
this is very freeing.
275
00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:06,681
(chuckles)
276
00:11:06,683 --> 00:11:10,084
Add a belt and I'll take you
someplace nice.
277
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,086
Oh.
278
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,287
Done and done.
279
00:11:19,528 --> 00:11:21,996
Okay, I think
I've narrowed it down
280
00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:25,032
to a faulty pin on
the onboard communication chip.
281
00:11:25,034 --> 00:11:27,668
Very impressive.
282
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:29,770
You know, when you're
done with that,
283
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,606
can you look at this?
284
00:11:33,975 --> 00:11:36,210
It doesn't make smoke anymore.
285
00:11:36,212 --> 00:11:38,279
One toy at a time.
286
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,814
Mm. Sorry.
287
00:11:39,816 --> 00:11:41,182
Ah, maybe it's for the best.
288
00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:43,217
I hear locomotive smoke
289
00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:47,321
is the second leading cause of
death among train aficionados.
290
00:11:47,323 --> 00:11:48,589
What's the first one?
291
00:11:48,591 --> 00:11:50,825
Suicide.
292
00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:52,259
Wrong.
293
00:11:52,261 --> 00:11:53,594
Obesity.
294
00:11:55,564 --> 00:11:57,832
I have the tool you wanted.
295
00:11:57,834 --> 00:11:59,200
Thank you.
296
00:11:59,202 --> 00:12:01,102
You guys don't have
to go to the trouble.
297
00:12:01,104 --> 00:12:02,303
I'm back in the money now;
298
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:03,604
I can just buy
another helicopter.
299
00:12:03,606 --> 00:12:04,872
It's not about the money.
300
00:12:04,874 --> 00:12:06,240
It's about solving a problem.
301
00:12:06,242 --> 00:12:07,808
It's why I became an engineer.
302
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,144
It's what I like to do,
it's what I'm trained to do.
303
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,113
It's who I am.
304
00:12:12,115 --> 00:12:15,082
Oh, look at you--
the little engineer that could.
305
00:12:16,752 --> 00:12:18,619
Why don't you just
call tech support?
306
00:12:18,621 --> 00:12:21,388
Hey! Whoa!
Not cool!
307
00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:22,556
What?
308
00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:24,125
There's two kinds of
people in this world:
309
00:12:24,127 --> 00:12:25,559
those who call
tech support
310
00:12:25,561 --> 00:12:29,063
and those who make fun of the
people who call tech support.
311
00:12:29,065 --> 00:12:30,698
I call tech support
all the time.
312
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,066
Ha-ha!
You call tech support!
313
00:12:32,068 --> 00:12:33,734
What a baby!
314
00:12:34,903 --> 00:12:37,738
And now, for our
commencement address,
315
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:40,207
one of our
most distinguished alumni,
316
00:12:40,209 --> 00:12:45,312
noted Caltech physicist
Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
317
00:12:48,984 --> 00:12:51,285
Members of the faculty,
students,
318
00:12:51,287 --> 00:12:54,121
I'm excited to speak
to you today.
319
00:12:54,123 --> 00:12:55,389
I can't help but remember
320
00:12:55,391 --> 00:12:57,525
the last time
I was in this auditorium.
321
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,059
Two guys from the lacrosse team
322
00:12:59,061 --> 00:13:02,329
played keep-away
with my asthma inhaler.
323
00:13:02,331 --> 00:13:05,966
But enough about
my ten-year reunion.
324
00:13:05,968 --> 00:13:08,469
I'd also like
to take a moment
325
00:13:08,471 --> 00:13:10,437
to thank
my beautiful fiancée
326
00:13:10,439 --> 00:13:12,039
for to helping make
this speech possible,
327
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,008
even though weather
nearly prevented it.
328
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,477
Oh. Hello.
329
00:13:16,479 --> 00:13:18,345
I-I didn't know
he was gonna point it at me,
330
00:13:18,347 --> 00:13:21,415
so... don't do drugs
and stay in school.
331
00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:22,216
They're graduating.
332
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,617
Okay, bye!
333
00:13:26,087 --> 00:13:28,355
All right, the power
supply is reconnected.
334
00:13:28,357 --> 00:13:29,757
I think we're
back in business.
335
00:13:29,759 --> 00:13:32,493
Let's just run a few tests
before we take it outside.
336
00:13:32,495 --> 00:13:34,195
Sheldon, we got WiFi?
Check.
337
00:13:34,197 --> 00:13:35,362
GPS?
Check.
338
00:13:35,364 --> 00:13:37,064
Battery charged?
Check.
339
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,501
Four hours of our lives gone?
Check.
340
00:13:40,503 --> 00:13:41,869
All right.
341
00:13:41,871 --> 00:13:43,037
All systems go.
342
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,039
In five...
343
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,841
...four, three, two, one.
344
00:13:46,843 --> 00:13:48,542
(electrical crackle)
345
00:13:52,547 --> 00:13:54,582
That's what my
train used to do.
346
00:13:57,986 --> 00:14:00,621
Ready to call
tech support?
347
00:14:00,623 --> 00:14:03,190
Give me the number.
348
00:14:03,192 --> 00:14:04,491
Probably wind up
349
00:14:04,493 --> 00:14:07,194
talking to some foreign guy
350
00:14:07,196 --> 00:14:11,332
who's reading from
the same manual I have.
351
00:14:12,767 --> 00:14:15,102
(phone ringing)
352
00:14:18,273 --> 00:14:20,274
It's my father, you jerks.
353
00:14:24,479 --> 00:14:25,679
Hello, Daddy.
354
00:14:25,681 --> 00:14:26,914
What did you say to your mother?
355
00:14:26,916 --> 00:14:27,916
Nothing.
356
00:14:27,917 --> 00:14:29,850
I was just calling to check in,
357
00:14:29,852 --> 00:14:31,185
make sure she's doing okay.
358
00:14:31,187 --> 00:14:32,486
Well, after talking to you,
359
00:14:32,488 --> 00:14:35,856
she seems to think
I'm some sort of playboy.
360
00:14:35,858 --> 00:14:37,191
Really?
361
00:14:37,193 --> 00:14:40,094
I don't know where
she'd get an idea like that.
362
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:42,696
You know Mummy
and her crazy imagination.
363
00:14:42,698 --> 00:14:45,966
I'm so lucky I take after you.
364
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:49,603
You think you take after me?
365
00:14:49,605 --> 00:14:50,971
Well, I try to.
366
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,640
I certainly wouldn't
be a scientist
367
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:56,477
if you hadn't been
my role model.
368
00:14:56,479 --> 00:15:00,347
Who wants to go to Vegas
in a real helicopter?!
369
00:15:03,852 --> 00:15:05,886
It was L. Frank Baum who said,
370
00:15:05,888 --> 00:15:11,025
"No thief, however skillful,
can rob one of knowledge,
371
00:15:11,027 --> 00:15:16,230
and that is why knowledge is
the best and safest treasure."
372
00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:19,433
Wow, I'm boring myself.
373
00:15:19,435 --> 00:15:21,268
(sighs)
374
00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:23,837
Sorry, I can't see
any of your faces right now,
375
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,739
but I bet they look like this.
376
00:15:30,211 --> 00:15:34,248
Uh, you know,
I-I wrote an entire speech
377
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:36,617
to say how high school
prepares you
378
00:15:36,619 --> 00:15:39,687
and what a wonderful
place it is,
379
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,989
but I hated it.
380
00:15:41,991 --> 00:15:44,591
Maybe high school's great
if you look like this...
381
00:15:46,594 --> 00:15:51,498
...but I didn't even feel like
I existed at that school.
382
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:54,101
And now that I think about it,
383
00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:56,670
I bet a lot of you
feel the same way.
384
00:15:56,672 --> 00:16:00,207
So, for the remainder
of my speech,
385
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:03,510
this is for the invisible kids.
386
00:16:03,512 --> 00:16:06,814
Uh, maybe you never fit in.
387
00:16:06,816 --> 00:16:09,283
Or maybe you're
the smallest kid in the school,
388
00:16:09,285 --> 00:16:11,485
or the heaviest or the weirdest.
389
00:16:11,487 --> 00:16:12,686
Maybe you're graduating
390
00:16:12,688 --> 00:16:14,955
and you still haven't had
your first kiss.
391
00:16:14,957 --> 00:16:16,991
By the way, 19;
392
00:16:16,993 --> 00:16:20,427
and Geraldine Coco,
wherever you are, thank you.
393
00:16:22,097 --> 00:16:24,198
Maybe you don't have
any friends.
394
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,034
And guess what? That's okay.
395
00:16:27,036 --> 00:16:29,303
While all the popular kids
are off doing--
396
00:16:29,305 --> 00:16:31,238
whatever, I don't know
what they were doing
397
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,539
'cause I was never there...
398
00:16:32,541 --> 00:16:35,075
I'll-I'll tell you later.
399
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,911
My point is,
400
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:40,014
while you're spending
all this time on your own,
401
00:16:40,016 --> 00:16:44,018
building computers
or practicing your cello,
402
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:47,888
what you're really doing
is becoming interesting.
403
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:50,991
And when people finally
do notice you,
404
00:16:50,993 --> 00:16:54,061
they're gonna find someone
a lot cooler than they thought.
405
00:16:54,063 --> 00:16:56,630
And for those of you
who were popular in high school,
406
00:16:56,632 --> 00:16:59,967
it's over, sorry.
407
00:16:59,969 --> 00:17:02,836
Thank you and congratulations.
408
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:09,643
TECH SUPPORT (recording):
Your call is important to us.
409
00:17:09,645 --> 00:17:11,979
All our technicians are busy
helping other customers.
410
00:17:11,981 --> 00:17:13,247
Please stay on the line
411
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,315
and someone will be
with you shortly.
412
00:17:15,317 --> 00:17:17,284
(flute music playing)
413
00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:27,194
What happened to me?
414
00:17:29,431 --> 00:17:32,266
When did I become
an old man
415
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,835
baffled by modern
technology?
416
00:17:34,837 --> 00:17:37,004
Next thing you know,
417
00:17:37,006 --> 00:17:38,972
I'll be hitching my pants
up to my armpits
418
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,008
and complaining about
419
00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:44,044
the awful music
the kids are listening to.
420
00:17:44,046 --> 00:17:47,214
It is awful, isn't it?
421
00:17:47,216 --> 00:17:49,383
Listen to that noise.
422
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,221
Hang on, hang on.
423
00:17:54,223 --> 00:17:55,889
It's working!
I did it!
424
00:17:55,891 --> 00:17:56,824
How'd you do that?
425
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,059
No idea, but
I did it!
426
00:18:01,429 --> 00:18:03,230
Maybe you shouldn't be
flying it inside.
427
00:18:03,232 --> 00:18:04,298
Well, I'm not flying it!
428
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,599
Then who is?
I don't know!
429
00:18:05,601 --> 00:18:08,168
Must be getting a WiFi signal
from somewhere else!
430
00:18:11,940 --> 00:18:13,707
Initiate landing sequence!
Initiate landing sequence!
431
00:18:13,709 --> 00:18:15,242
(screams)
432
00:18:15,944 --> 00:18:17,578
Hey, the camera's working!
433
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:18,645
Oh, look, it's me.
434
00:18:18,647 --> 00:18:20,481
(screams)
435
00:18:20,483 --> 00:18:23,050
(tech support talking
indistinctly over phone)
436
00:18:23,052 --> 00:18:26,587
Yes, it's a robot uprising!
Call the police!
437
00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:39,035
So you really think
they liked it?
438
00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:41,503
Oh, sweetie, it was
the best speech I...
439
00:18:41,505 --> 00:18:44,139
(both scream)
440
00:18:44,141 --> 00:18:46,075
Don't worry,
everyone in here is safe.
441
00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:54,962
Sync, corrected by elderman
@elder_man