1 00:00:00,070 --> 00:00:01,600 English (HI) Subtitles. The Big Bang Theory S09E17 [KoTuWa] The Celebration Experimentation 2 00:00:03,022 --> 00:00:05,436 So Sheldon, there's something I've been wanting to talk about 3 00:00:05,437 --> 00:00:07,337 but I know it's kind of a touchy subject. 4 00:00:07,339 --> 00:00:09,540 Way to narrow it down to everything. 5 00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:12,543 What is it? 6 00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:13,877 Well, your birthday's coming up. 7 00:00:13,879 --> 00:00:15,078 And you've never let us celebrate it. 8 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,014 And I was hoping maybe this year we could. 9 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:20,317 Oh, I suppose that's a discussion we could have. 10 00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:27,157 Okay, great, I mean, 11 00:00:27,159 --> 00:00:29,760 it doesn't have to be a big party or anything. 12 00:00:29,762 --> 00:00:31,962 I was just... 13 00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:35,899 Where'd he go? 14 00:00:35,901 --> 00:00:37,067 W-Wait a minute. 15 00:00:37,069 --> 00:00:39,469 You mention his birthday and he vanishes? 16 00:00:39,471 --> 00:00:42,773 Well, where's that information been this whole time? 17 00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:47,477 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 18 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,814 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 19 00:00:50,816 --> 00:00:52,449 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 20 00:00:52,451 --> 00:00:54,985 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 21 00:00:54,987 --> 00:00:57,654 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 22 00:00:57,656 --> 00:01:00,324 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 23 00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:02,226 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 24 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,827 ♪ Bang! ♪ 25 00:01:03,829 --> 00:01:07,829 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x17 ♪ The Celebration Experimentation Original Air Date on February 25, 2016 26 00:01:07,830 --> 00:01:11,630 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 27 00:01:15,039 --> 00:01:16,672 Well, where is he? 28 00:01:16,674 --> 00:01:17,806 Sheldon? 29 00:01:17,808 --> 00:01:18,841 I'll check his room. 30 00:01:18,843 --> 00:01:20,175 Surprise! (both scream) 31 00:01:20,177 --> 00:01:21,310 Oh, my God! 32 00:01:21,312 --> 00:01:23,279 Just one example 33 00:01:23,281 --> 00:01:25,881 of how birthdays can be terrible. 34 00:01:25,883 --> 00:01:28,150 Now, can we please 35 00:01:28,152 --> 00:01:29,518 drop this subject and pick a new one? 36 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,054 Yeah, I suggest “how thick can a soup get 37 00:01:32,056 --> 00:01:33,556 before it becomes a stew?” 38 00:01:33,558 --> 00:01:35,991 You know, the answer, it may surprise you. 39 00:01:35,993 --> 00:01:38,861 I'm sorry I brought it up. 40 00:01:38,863 --> 00:01:40,095 Yeah, what is the problem? 41 00:01:40,097 --> 00:01:41,130 Is it about getting older? 42 00:01:41,132 --> 00:01:43,566 Please, look at this porcelain skin. 43 00:01:43,568 --> 00:01:46,368 I'm like a human sink. 44 00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:51,574 But it's the one day a year that's just all about you. 45 00:01:51,576 --> 00:01:53,542 One day. (laughs) 46 00:01:56,881 --> 00:01:58,147 Right. 47 00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:02,051 Can you please just tell me why? 48 00:02:02,053 --> 00:02:05,120 Fine. 49 00:02:05,122 --> 00:02:07,289 As you know, I have a twin sister 50 00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:09,792 with whom I obviously share a birthday. 51 00:02:09,794 --> 00:02:11,827 Every year we'd have a party. 52 00:02:11,829 --> 00:02:13,395 No one I invited would ever come, 53 00:02:13,397 --> 00:02:14,830 because they didn't like me. 54 00:02:15,967 --> 00:02:17,566 I'm sorry. 55 00:02:17,568 --> 00:02:18,801 Oh, that part wasn't so bad. 56 00:02:18,803 --> 00:02:20,002 I didn't like them, either. 57 00:02:20,004 --> 00:02:21,670 But then I'd inevitably spend 58 00:02:21,672 --> 00:02:25,240 the whole day being tortured by my sister's friends. 59 00:02:25,242 --> 00:02:27,142 Oh, you poor thing. 60 00:02:27,144 --> 00:02:29,478 When I was six, they told me Batman was coming to my party. 61 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,347 I waited by the door for hours. 62 00:02:31,349 --> 00:02:33,382 Closest thing to Batman I saw 63 00:02:33,384 --> 00:02:35,618 was when a robin flew into the window. 64 00:02:37,388 --> 00:02:40,055 You realize none of those things would happen now? 65 00:02:40,057 --> 00:02:41,957 I do, but why do you care 66 00:02:41,959 --> 00:02:44,093 if I celebrate my birthday at all? 67 00:02:44,095 --> 00:02:47,296 Well, you made my last birthday so memorable, 68 00:02:47,298 --> 00:02:49,264 I wanted to return the favor. 69 00:02:49,266 --> 00:02:50,432 PENNY: Yeah, if you had 70 00:02:50,434 --> 00:02:51,900 a party now, you have plenty of friends 71 00:02:51,902 --> 00:02:53,102 that would love to come. 72 00:02:53,104 --> 00:02:54,703 And we live here, so we have no choice. 73 00:02:54,705 --> 00:02:56,739 Yeah. 74 00:02:57,975 --> 00:02:59,241 Very well. 75 00:02:59,243 --> 00:03:01,210 You may celebrate my life by throwing a party 76 00:03:01,212 --> 00:03:04,279 with cake, presents and a shower of admiration and love. 77 00:03:04,281 --> 00:03:06,482 But then you owe me big-time. 78 00:03:08,986 --> 00:03:11,086 You have any idea what you're getting 79 00:03:11,088 --> 00:03:12,488 Sheldon for his birthday? 80 00:03:12,490 --> 00:03:14,657 He's been fascinated with dinosaurs lately. 81 00:03:14,659 --> 00:03:16,025 Maybe we could get him a fossil. 82 00:03:16,027 --> 00:03:18,027 Well, just don't get anything Jurassic. 83 00:03:18,029 --> 00:03:21,497 He feels like that whole chunk of time has gone Hollywood. 84 00:03:23,134 --> 00:03:25,434 Hey, uh, you know, 85 00:03:25,436 --> 00:03:28,103 he told a sad story about how his sister 86 00:03:28,105 --> 00:03:31,407 tricked him into thinking Batman was coming to his party. 87 00:03:31,409 --> 00:03:32,741 That's funny. 88 00:03:32,743 --> 00:03:34,510 Let's do that. 89 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,013 Maybe we could get Batman to actually show up. 90 00:03:38,015 --> 00:03:40,616 You mean, some guy in a lame suit? 91 00:03:40,618 --> 00:03:42,885 Or a real Batman. Hey, Stuart? 92 00:03:42,887 --> 00:03:45,454 Didn't you try to get Adam West to do a signing here once? 93 00:03:45,456 --> 00:03:47,956 Yeah, but there was kind of a scheduling conflict. 94 00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:50,893 He, uh, wanted to know when he'd get paid. 95 00:03:50,895 --> 00:03:52,828 And I wouldn't tell him. 96 00:03:54,298 --> 00:03:56,231 Can I get his contact info? 97 00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:58,634 Sure, uh, but just so you know, 98 00:03:58,636 --> 00:03:59,968 he's kind of a diva. 99 00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:01,837 He is? Oh, yeah. 100 00:04:01,839 --> 00:04:02,938 Won't take the bus. 101 00:04:02,940 --> 00:04:04,239 He won't pack his own lunch. 102 00:04:04,241 --> 00:04:07,710 Won't let you spend the night on his couch. 103 00:04:09,847 --> 00:04:12,915 Okay, so how do you feel about party balloons? 104 00:04:12,917 --> 00:04:14,550 Uh, Mylar balloons, yes. 105 00:04:14,552 --> 00:04:16,151 Latex balloons, no. 106 00:04:16,153 --> 00:04:18,287 Water balloons, I will jump off the roof 107 00:04:18,289 --> 00:04:20,489 and aim for your car. 108 00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:23,592 All right, what about music? 109 00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:24,993 I enjoy marching bands 110 00:04:24,995 --> 00:04:27,730 and Tibetan throat singing. 111 00:04:27,732 --> 00:04:29,164 No music it is. 112 00:04:30,434 --> 00:04:31,767 What kind of cake do you like? 113 00:04:31,769 --> 00:04:34,703 Well, my favorite is chocolate with strawberry frosting, 114 00:04:34,705 --> 00:04:36,572 three layers, and if there's 115 00:04:36,574 --> 00:04:38,340 writing on it, make sure it's not all caps. 116 00:04:38,342 --> 00:04:41,844 I don't need my dessert yelling at me. 117 00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:46,915 Hey, so what was Adam West like on the phone? 118 00:04:46,917 --> 00:04:48,217 Uh, nice guy. 119 00:04:48,219 --> 00:04:49,918 But it was a little weird to hear Batman say, 120 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:53,856 “Don't ring the doorbell or my poodles will go crazy.” 121 00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:56,859 You know, Adam West is my favorite Batman? 122 00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:58,160 Well, 123 00:04:58,162 --> 00:05:00,496 after Michael Keaton, Christian Bale 124 00:05:00,498 --> 00:05:02,731 and Batman from The Lego Movie. 125 00:05:04,001 --> 00:05:05,300 Don't say that to him. 126 00:05:05,302 --> 00:05:07,669 What? He beat out George Clooney. 127 00:05:07,671 --> 00:05:08,670 And that's something. 128 00:05:08,672 --> 00:05:11,039 Like, I love me some Clooney. 129 00:05:11,041 --> 00:05:13,442 Don't say that to anyone. 130 00:05:15,679 --> 00:05:18,046 Thank you so much for helping us, Stuart. 131 00:05:18,048 --> 00:05:19,748 Oh, I-I was just 132 00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:21,416 glad to be invited. 133 00:05:21,418 --> 00:05:24,453 To be honest, I don't always feel like I'm part of the group. 134 00:05:24,455 --> 00:05:25,621 Okay, sweetie, we're on the clock here. 135 00:05:25,623 --> 00:05:28,123 Can you hate yourself and frost at the same time? 136 00:05:28,125 --> 00:05:29,424 (door opens) 137 00:05:29,426 --> 00:05:31,960 Hello, I hope I'm not too early. 138 00:05:31,962 --> 00:05:32,895 No, no, no. Come on in. 139 00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:35,464 And how is the radiant mommy-to-be? 140 00:05:35,466 --> 00:05:36,932 Doing great. 141 00:05:36,934 --> 00:05:38,967 Y-You're pregnant? 142 00:05:38,969 --> 00:05:39,935 Yeah. 143 00:05:39,937 --> 00:05:41,937 Sounds like something 144 00:05:41,939 --> 00:05:44,907 a member of the group might know. 145 00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,175 Yeah, birthday party first. 146 00:05:46,177 --> 00:05:48,243 Pity party later. 147 00:05:50,815 --> 00:05:52,047 Are you crazy? 148 00:05:52,049 --> 00:05:53,749 How can you put Michael Keaton 149 00:05:53,751 --> 00:05:56,084 in front of Christian Bale? 150 00:05:56,086 --> 00:05:58,253 Oh, please. 151 00:06:00,224 --> 00:06:03,725 Even my poodles know Bale's overrated. 152 00:06:03,727 --> 00:06:05,794 Thank you! 153 00:06:05,796 --> 00:06:07,696 That's why I say Keaton's number one. 154 00:06:07,698 --> 00:06:09,364 He brought a sense of humor to the role. 155 00:06:09,366 --> 00:06:11,466 Oh, if you're gonna factor in a sense of humor, 156 00:06:11,468 --> 00:06:14,636 then I should be at the top of the list. 157 00:06:14,638 --> 00:06:17,472 It should be me, 158 00:06:17,474 --> 00:06:18,607 Keaton, Kilmer, 159 00:06:18,609 --> 00:06:20,242 Lego, Bale, 160 00:06:20,244 --> 00:06:22,444 and that pretty boy Clooney. 161 00:06:24,014 --> 00:06:26,181 Really? 162 00:06:26,183 --> 00:06:27,749 You're ahead of Bale? 163 00:06:27,751 --> 00:06:29,718 The man who personified the words, 164 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,754 (deep voice): “I'm Batman.” 165 00:06:32,756 --> 00:06:34,356 I never had to say I'm Batman. 166 00:06:34,358 --> 00:06:35,557 I showed up. 167 00:06:35,559 --> 00:06:38,026 People knew I was Batman. 168 00:06:39,296 --> 00:06:41,697 Everywhere I went-- on the TV show, 169 00:06:41,699 --> 00:06:42,898 mall openings... 170 00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:46,068 Julie Newmar's bungalow. 171 00:06:48,739 --> 00:06:51,173 I'm sold-- you're ahead of Bale. 172 00:06:52,309 --> 00:06:54,877 There's another reason I should be higher on the list. 173 00:06:54,879 --> 00:06:56,311 All those other guys 174 00:06:56,313 --> 00:06:59,448 had muscles built into their costumes. 175 00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:01,717 All I had in my Batsuit 176 00:07:01,719 --> 00:07:05,687 was 100%, grade-A West. 177 00:07:08,459 --> 00:07:10,893 Can we just all agree we're worried about Affleck? 178 00:07:10,895 --> 00:07:13,028 Sure. Yeah, of course. 179 00:07:14,365 --> 00:07:16,365 What's an Affleck? 180 00:07:19,303 --> 00:07:22,004 Is there a reason I had to leave my own apartment? 181 00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:23,672 Well, I think they just want you to see it 182 00:07:23,674 --> 00:07:25,274 for the first time all decorated. 183 00:07:25,276 --> 00:07:28,944 But who's gonna tell them they're doing it wrong? 184 00:07:28,946 --> 00:07:32,180 Well, I'm... I'm sure they'll ask you to give a speech, 185 00:07:32,182 --> 00:07:34,917 and that's when you just tear 'em a new one. 186 00:07:34,919 --> 00:07:37,819 Have to say, you... 187 00:07:37,821 --> 00:07:39,755 you do look good in that suit. 188 00:07:39,757 --> 00:07:41,189 Oh. Thank you. 189 00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:43,325 Maybe later I'll, uh... 190 00:07:43,327 --> 00:07:47,062 get to see you in your birthday suit. 191 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:52,000 But this is my birthday suit. 192 00:07:53,437 --> 00:07:56,204 Are you having a stroke? 193 00:07:57,641 --> 00:07:58,840 Because that's the kind of thing 194 00:07:58,842 --> 00:08:00,275 that just ruins a birthday party. 195 00:08:02,713 --> 00:08:05,247 So, Mother, I'm surprised you came all this way 196 00:08:05,249 --> 00:08:06,348 for Sheldon's birthday. 197 00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:07,482 Oh, I was happy to. 198 00:08:07,484 --> 00:08:09,418 He did come to my 60th. 199 00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:13,288 Oh. You had a party for your 60th? 200 00:08:13,290 --> 00:08:15,590 Oh, I wouldn't call it a party. 201 00:08:15,592 --> 00:08:17,559 Just a few close friends. 202 00:08:18,963 --> 00:08:20,929 And your sister and brother. 203 00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:25,701 You know, to be fair, we did get married in Vegas 204 00:08:25,703 --> 00:08:26,735 and didn't invite her. 205 00:08:26,737 --> 00:08:29,638 And I never did thank you for that, dear. 206 00:08:32,242 --> 00:08:34,042 (ringtone plays) AMY: Oh. 207 00:08:34,044 --> 00:08:37,045 Penny says everyone's there. Are you ready? 208 00:08:37,047 --> 00:08:39,648 (takes deep breath) I am. 209 00:08:46,991 --> 00:08:49,257 Oh. Wait. Are you all right? 210 00:08:49,259 --> 00:08:52,094 No, I just... I got a little light-headed. 211 00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,528 Oh, d-do you need a minute? 212 00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,664 (exhales) No. 213 00:08:55,666 --> 00:08:58,000 No, if I can walk past that pet shop 214 00:08:58,002 --> 00:09:01,436 with the parrot in the window, I suppose I can do this. 215 00:09:06,377 --> 00:09:08,844 OTHERS: Happy birthday! 216 00:09:08,846 --> 00:09:10,645 (whooping, clapping) 217 00:09:10,647 --> 00:09:11,980 Speech! Speech! 218 00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:14,850 Come on, Sheldon, say something. 219 00:09:14,852 --> 00:09:16,084 Uh, um... 220 00:09:16,086 --> 00:09:18,587 uh, thank you all so much for coming. 221 00:09:18,589 --> 00:09:19,821 Uh, Beverly. 222 00:09:19,823 --> 00:09:21,823 Wil Wheaton. 223 00:09:21,825 --> 00:09:24,326 Adam West, for some reason. 224 00:09:25,696 --> 00:09:28,463 Batman finally came to your party. 225 00:09:28,465 --> 00:09:31,199 Happy birthday, Sherman. 226 00:09:34,371 --> 00:09:35,804 SHELDON: Thank you. 227 00:09:35,806 --> 00:09:37,672 This is all so thoughtful. 228 00:09:37,674 --> 00:09:40,609 (heartbeat thumping loudly) 229 00:09:46,316 --> 00:09:48,150 (panting): Excuse me. 230 00:09:55,492 --> 00:09:57,359 I still get paid, don't I? 231 00:10:06,859 --> 00:10:09,326 Okay, I'd better go in there and talk to him. 232 00:10:09,328 --> 00:10:11,295 Well, don't you think I'm the one who should go in? 233 00:10:11,297 --> 00:10:14,098 No offense, but I've known the guy a really long time. 234 00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:15,966 Well, I've, you know, 235 00:10:15,968 --> 00:10:18,702 seen him without pants on. 236 00:10:19,505 --> 00:10:22,639 Again, no offense, but so have I. 237 00:10:22,641 --> 00:10:24,908 Well, he's seen me without pants on. 238 00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:25,876 Again, no... 239 00:10:25,878 --> 00:10:28,078 Okay, this is ridiculous. 240 00:10:29,482 --> 00:10:31,181 (knocking) 241 00:10:31,183 --> 00:10:32,082 Sheldon? 242 00:10:32,084 --> 00:10:33,083 Can I come in? 243 00:10:33,085 --> 00:10:34,451 (sighs) 244 00:10:34,453 --> 00:10:37,087 How do you know I'm not using the facilities? 245 00:10:37,089 --> 00:10:39,857 Because you e-mail me your bathroom schedule once a week, 246 00:10:39,859 --> 00:10:41,425 even though I've clicked unsubscribe, 247 00:10:41,427 --> 00:10:42,960 like, a thousand times. 248 00:10:49,201 --> 00:10:50,868 So... 249 00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:52,503 what's going on? 250 00:10:52,505 --> 00:10:53,904 I don't know. 251 00:10:53,906 --> 00:10:55,639 I-I looked around the room, 252 00:10:55,641 --> 00:10:57,741 and I saw all the faces and the presents, 253 00:10:57,743 --> 00:11:00,110 and it... it was just too much. 254 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,646 I get that. 255 00:11:04,884 --> 00:11:07,284 Hey, you want to just bring a few people in here? 256 00:11:07,286 --> 00:11:09,186 You know, Wil Wheaton in the bathtub, 257 00:11:09,188 --> 00:11:11,522 Batman on the toilet. 258 00:11:11,524 --> 00:11:13,724 It'll be like the weirdest Comic-Con ever. 259 00:11:16,562 --> 00:11:18,829 I know that you worked hard to put this together. 260 00:11:18,831 --> 00:11:20,330 I'm sorry I'm ruining it. 261 00:11:20,332 --> 00:11:21,598 Oh, pl... You're not ruining it. 262 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,634 Look, at some point, Raj will try to get everyone 263 00:11:23,636 --> 00:11:24,935 to do the Electric Slide. 264 00:11:24,937 --> 00:11:26,637 Now, that will ruin it. 265 00:11:28,407 --> 00:11:30,808 I don't think I can go back out there. 266 00:11:31,610 --> 00:11:33,377 That's fine. 267 00:11:44,690 --> 00:11:47,191 You know, I hate that your sister and her friends 268 00:11:47,193 --> 00:11:49,493 used to torture you. 269 00:11:49,495 --> 00:11:51,228 But what I hate even more 270 00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:54,765 is, if I was there, I would have tortured you, too. 271 00:11:56,936 --> 00:11:59,903 Based on this pep talk, I'd say you're still doing it. 272 00:11:59,905 --> 00:12:02,339 (scoffs) My point is, 273 00:12:02,341 --> 00:12:04,308 there was a time I never would've been friends 274 00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:06,510 with someone like you, and now... 275 00:12:06,512 --> 00:12:08,245 you are one of my favorite people. 276 00:12:08,247 --> 00:12:10,581 So, if what you need is 277 00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:13,250 to spend your birthday in a bathroom, 278 00:12:13,252 --> 00:12:16,386 I'm happy to do it with you. 279 00:12:18,057 --> 00:12:20,290 Well, everyone will think I'm weird. 280 00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:29,500 Sweetie, you are weird. 281 00:12:30,803 --> 00:12:32,703 Everyone knows you're weird, 282 00:12:32,705 --> 00:12:33,971 but they're all still here 283 00:12:33,973 --> 00:12:36,540 because they care about you so much. 284 00:12:36,542 --> 00:12:37,741 (knocking) 285 00:12:37,743 --> 00:12:38,842 KRIPKE: Hello. 286 00:12:38,844 --> 00:12:40,277 Some of us need to check our hair 287 00:12:40,279 --> 00:12:43,247 because we might have a shot with Leonard's mother. 288 00:12:46,552 --> 00:12:48,485 Leonard. Hey. 289 00:12:48,487 --> 00:12:49,753 It's been a while. 290 00:12:49,755 --> 00:12:50,888 Leslie. 291 00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:52,523 I can't remember the last time we talked. 292 00:12:52,525 --> 00:12:54,258 So much has changed. 293 00:12:55,895 --> 00:12:58,228 Has it? 294 00:12:59,698 --> 00:13:01,632 Yeah, uh, um, Penny and I got married. 295 00:13:01,634 --> 00:13:03,066 Wow, congratulations. 296 00:13:03,068 --> 00:13:04,334 You know, actually, 297 00:13:04,336 --> 00:13:06,103 I thought you'd be living with Sheldon forever. 298 00:13:06,105 --> 00:13:08,038 Yeah, well... 299 00:13:09,808 --> 00:13:11,074 Don't be a stranger. 300 00:13:12,144 --> 00:13:14,111 Okay, everybody, 301 00:13:14,113 --> 00:13:15,345 Sheldon is gonna come back out, 302 00:13:15,347 --> 00:13:16,680 but I think he's a little embarrassed, 303 00:13:16,682 --> 00:13:19,316 so let's all be extra nice, okay? 304 00:13:19,318 --> 00:13:20,751 What are you looking at me for? 305 00:13:20,753 --> 00:13:22,185 I'm a saint. (chuckles) 306 00:13:22,187 --> 00:13:24,187 But a sinner in the sack. 307 00:13:28,193 --> 00:13:29,493 Hello, everyone. 308 00:13:29,495 --> 00:13:30,594 I-I... 309 00:13:30,596 --> 00:13:32,462 I'd like to apologize for my behavior. 310 00:13:32,464 --> 00:13:35,198 I hope it hasn't put a damper on the party. 311 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,167 So, just, please, enjoy yourselves. 312 00:13:37,169 --> 00:13:38,335 That's good. 313 00:13:38,337 --> 00:13:41,805 (party chatter resumes) 314 00:13:41,807 --> 00:13:44,207 Oh, this is quickly getting out of hand. 315 00:13:44,209 --> 00:13:46,276 If I may, 316 00:13:46,278 --> 00:13:48,579 I-I'd like to propose a toast. 317 00:13:48,581 --> 00:13:50,981 Um, thank you all for coming tonight. 318 00:13:50,983 --> 00:13:52,049 I know it's customary 319 00:13:52,051 --> 00:13:54,985 for the birthday boy to receive presents, 320 00:13:54,987 --> 00:13:57,220 but I feel like I got the greatest gift 321 00:13:57,222 --> 00:13:58,589 the day he was born. 322 00:13:58,591 --> 00:13:59,623 ALL: Aw. 323 00:13:59,625 --> 00:14:01,625 Hear, hear. KOOTHRAPPALI: Cheers. 324 00:14:01,627 --> 00:14:03,961 Amy, that was lovely. 325 00:14:03,963 --> 00:14:05,462 You know, 326 00:14:05,464 --> 00:14:06,430 this is fun. 327 00:14:06,432 --> 00:14:07,598 Let's do more. 328 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,900 Someone else say something wonderful about me. 329 00:14:09,902 --> 00:14:12,202 Sheldon, I don't think everyone... 330 00:14:12,204 --> 00:14:14,304 Wolowitz, perfect. Everyone listen to Wolowitz. 331 00:14:15,608 --> 00:14:17,374 Okay, then, uh, (clears throat) 332 00:14:17,376 --> 00:14:19,142 Sheldon, (chuckles) 333 00:14:19,144 --> 00:14:20,777 we've known each other a long time. 334 00:14:20,779 --> 00:14:24,147 And it is a pleasure to work with you 335 00:14:24,149 --> 00:14:25,816 and call you my friend. 336 00:14:25,818 --> 00:14:27,551 Little generic. Keep thinking. We'll circle back. 337 00:14:27,553 --> 00:14:29,052 Wil Wheaton, go. 338 00:14:30,556 --> 00:14:33,890 Sheldon, I know that we've had our ups and downs, 339 00:14:33,892 --> 00:14:35,959 but I can honestly say 340 00:14:35,961 --> 00:14:37,461 that my life is so much more interesting 341 00:14:37,463 --> 00:14:38,662 because you are in it. 342 00:14:38,664 --> 00:14:42,165 We may have met because you are a fan of Star Trek. 343 00:14:42,167 --> 00:14:44,635 But I have become a fan of Sheldon Cooper. 344 00:14:44,637 --> 00:14:46,403 Live long and prosper, buddy. 345 00:14:46,405 --> 00:14:47,471 And happy birthday. 346 00:14:47,473 --> 00:14:48,739 ALL: Cheers. 347 00:14:48,741 --> 00:14:51,008 That's how you do it, Wolowitz. 348 00:14:51,010 --> 00:14:53,043 Now you see 349 00:14:53,045 --> 00:14:54,511 why he's famous and you're not. 350 00:14:56,915 --> 00:14:58,448 Sheldon, 351 00:14:58,450 --> 00:15:00,917 I know the future holds great things for you, 352 00:15:00,919 --> 00:15:03,620 and we all can't wait to see what they are. 353 00:15:03,622 --> 00:15:05,856 Happy birthday, dear. 354 00:15:05,858 --> 00:15:07,758 ALL: Cheers. 355 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,292 Someone call Animal Control. 356 00:15:09,294 --> 00:15:11,862 There's a cougar on the loose. 357 00:15:13,165 --> 00:15:14,598 Barry, stop. 358 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,233 Seriously, Barry, stop. 359 00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:21,271 And it was Gandhi who said, 360 00:15:21,273 --> 00:15:23,640 “Live as if you were to 361 00:15:23,642 --> 00:15:25,809 “die tomorrow. 362 00:15:25,811 --> 00:15:28,211 “Learn as if you were to live 363 00:15:28,213 --> 00:15:29,613 forever.” 364 00:15:29,615 --> 00:15:31,248 And it was Sheldon Cooper who said “Let's speed this up. 365 00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:33,717 A lot of people want to talk”" 366 00:15:33,719 --> 00:15:36,620 Uh, in the past, I would've said something obnoxious, 367 00:15:36,622 --> 00:15:38,889 like, “Happy birthday, dumbass”. 368 00:15:38,891 --> 00:15:40,991 But I'm not gonna do it. 369 00:15:40,993 --> 00:15:42,659 You and I have both grown a lot, 370 00:15:42,661 --> 00:15:45,262 and it's just so nice to see you all again. 371 00:15:45,264 --> 00:15:46,663 So... 372 00:15:46,665 --> 00:15:48,065 happy birthday, Sheldon. 373 00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:49,366 Oh. 374 00:15:49,368 --> 00:15:51,435 Oh, now, you know I hate change. Say it. 375 00:15:51,437 --> 00:15:53,036 Happy birthday, dumbass! 376 00:15:53,038 --> 00:15:54,871 (cheering) 377 00:15:54,873 --> 00:15:56,540 Happy birthday, young man. 378 00:15:56,542 --> 00:16:00,043 And if any of you have enjoyed seeing me here today, 379 00:16:00,045 --> 00:16:02,646 I'm also available for Comic-Cons, 380 00:16:02,648 --> 00:16:05,782 bachelor parties, bar mitzvahs... 381 00:16:05,784 --> 00:16:09,319 I can't think of anything to say that hasn't already been said. 382 00:16:09,321 --> 00:16:11,555 So, here's to you, Sheldon. 383 00:16:11,557 --> 00:16:12,889 Hear, hear. Hear, hear. 384 00:16:12,891 --> 00:16:14,157 Thank you, Bernadette. 385 00:16:14,159 --> 00:16:15,425 That was perfect. 386 00:16:15,427 --> 00:16:18,929 What? You gotta be kidding me? 387 00:16:18,931 --> 00:16:21,364 Sheldon, we've been together so long, 388 00:16:21,366 --> 00:16:24,000 it's hard to remember a time you weren't in my life. 389 00:16:24,002 --> 00:16:25,502 And believe me, I try. 390 00:16:25,504 --> 00:16:27,270 (laughter) 391 00:16:27,272 --> 00:16:28,638 You make me laugh. 392 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,841 You make me a better scientist. 393 00:16:30,843 --> 00:16:32,342 You make me crazy. 394 00:16:32,344 --> 00:16:33,944 You're more than just my roommate, 395 00:16:33,946 --> 00:16:35,679 you're my brother. 396 00:16:36,448 --> 00:16:37,581 Thank you. 397 00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:38,982 Happy birthday, buddy. 398 00:16:38,984 --> 00:16:40,817 ALL: Cheers. 399 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,587 Thank you. That-that was wonderful. 400 00:16:43,589 --> 00:16:44,654 PENNY: Oh, wait, wait, wait. 401 00:16:44,656 --> 00:16:46,523 Stuart didn't get to speak. 402 00:16:46,525 --> 00:16:48,892 Oh, oh, okay. Um... 403 00:16:48,894 --> 00:16:50,794 Uh, Sheldon, 404 00:16:50,796 --> 00:16:52,829 I've spent most of my life feeling invisible, 405 00:16:52,831 --> 00:16:54,898 but having you and everyone... 406 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:56,867 Hey, everybody, listen up. 407 00:16:58,070 --> 00:17:00,837 You nailed it. 408 00:17:00,839 --> 00:17:02,773 We've got someone who couldn't be here 409 00:17:02,775 --> 00:17:04,007 but really wanted to wish you 410 00:17:04,009 --> 00:17:05,709 a happy birthday. 411 00:17:06,845 --> 00:17:07,911 Hello, Sheldon. 412 00:17:07,913 --> 00:17:09,346 (gasps) 413 00:17:09,348 --> 00:17:11,281 Professor Hawking. (chuckles) 414 00:17:11,283 --> 00:17:13,350 Happy birthday to you. 415 00:17:13,352 --> 00:17:14,551 Thank you so much. 416 00:17:14,553 --> 00:17:15,519 I can't believe you're... 417 00:17:15,521 --> 00:17:16,686 Happy birthday to you. 418 00:17:16,688 --> 00:17:18,855 Oh, you're singing. Well, I'm sorry. 419 00:17:20,492 --> 00:17:22,359 Happy birthday, dear Sheldon. 420 00:17:22,361 --> 00:17:23,493 LEONARD: Uh, Professor Hawking, 421 00:17:23,495 --> 00:17:25,295 if you just give us one second, 422 00:17:25,297 --> 00:17:27,631 we'll light the candles, and we can all sing together. 423 00:17:27,633 --> 00:17:30,901 I was crushing it, but all right. 424 00:17:32,037 --> 00:17:33,570 Okay, while they get the cake, 425 00:17:33,572 --> 00:17:35,138 Sheldon, I just want to say, 426 00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:36,907 I hope you didn't think you were gonna get through tonight 427 00:17:36,909 --> 00:17:38,008 without a hug. 428 00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:39,276 (sighs) 429 00:17:39,278 --> 00:17:40,877 You know, I used to hate these hugs. 430 00:17:44,216 --> 00:17:46,383 Now they're just extremely irritating. 431 00:17:55,663 --> 00:17:57,596 Ready when you are, Professor Hawking. 432 00:17:57,598 --> 00:18:00,098 And a one, and a two... 433 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:04,770 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 434 00:18:04,772 --> 00:18:09,975 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 435 00:18:09,977 --> 00:18:15,981 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Sheldon ♪ 436 00:18:15,983 --> 00:18:21,253 ♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪ 437 00:18:21,255 --> 00:18:25,257 ...to you. 438 00:18:27,061 --> 00:18:28,861 (cheering) 439 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,966 So, who's taking me home? 440 00:18:36,217 --> 00:18:42,717 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man