1
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,874
Hey, how are things going
with your parents?
2
00:00:04,875 --> 00:00:07,676
Not great.
They hired divorce attorneys.
3
00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:09,378
You know, speaking
of attorneys,
4
00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:11,647
if I ever needed
a lawyer,
5
00:00:11,649 --> 00:00:14,950
I would not hire
She-Hulk.
6
00:00:15,853 --> 00:00:17,786
You know what?
That was almost on topic.
7
00:00:17,788 --> 00:00:20,289
I'm gonna say,
"Good job, Sheldon."
8
00:00:21,192 --> 00:00:23,292
Wait, She-Hulk's
a lawyer?
9
00:00:23,294 --> 00:00:25,127
Yeah, she works at
a law firm in New York.
10
00:00:25,129 --> 00:00:28,397
Yes, but she's the only
monster at the firm.
11
00:00:28,399 --> 00:00:30,299
Between you, me
and the wall,
12
00:00:30,301 --> 00:00:33,736
I think she's an
affirmative action hire.
13
00:00:34,939 --> 00:00:36,939
Anyway, Dad's gonna
be here in town,
14
00:00:36,941 --> 00:00:39,475
so I won't be able to do
Christmas dinner this year.
15
00:00:39,477 --> 00:00:41,477
If you're not up
to hosting Christmas dinner,
16
00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:42,711
I'm happy to do it.
17
00:00:42,713 --> 00:00:44,279
You can even
bring your father.
18
00:00:44,281 --> 00:00:46,048
That would be nice.
19
00:00:46,050 --> 00:00:47,182
I've always wanted to do
20
00:00:47,184 --> 00:00:48,817
a traditional
Victorian Christmas.
21
00:00:48,819 --> 00:00:51,820
Parlor games,
goose and figgy pudding...
22
00:00:51,822 --> 00:00:54,490
Ugh!
23
00:00:54,492 --> 00:00:56,024
English pudding.
24
00:00:56,026 --> 00:00:57,793
Y-You get yourself all
excited for pudding,
25
00:00:57,795 --> 00:01:00,829
and here comes a cake
with raisins in it.
26
00:01:00,831 --> 00:01:02,598
I'm not going.
27
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:03,766
You're going.
28
00:01:03,768 --> 00:01:05,934
Why do you hate me?
29
00:01:05,936 --> 00:01:07,469
I don't hate you.
30
00:01:07,471 --> 00:01:08,437
I love you.
31
00:01:08,439 --> 00:01:09,671
Well, you call it love,
32
00:01:09,673 --> 00:01:11,707
but it has a lot
of raisins in it.
33
00:01:14,145 --> 00:01:15,911
Amy, good luck getting
these guys excited
34
00:01:15,913 --> 00:01:17,312
about a dinner
with a theme.
35
00:01:17,314 --> 00:01:20,949
I gave up when no one cared
about my Tom Hanks-giving.
36
00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:25,154
I think a Victorian Christmas
sounds nice.
37
00:01:25,156 --> 00:01:25,888
I agree.
Why not?
38
00:01:25,890 --> 00:01:26,955
Me, too.
39
00:01:26,957 --> 00:01:29,057
You guys suck!
40
00:01:29,059 --> 00:01:32,661
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
41
00:01:32,663 --> 00:01:35,998
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
42
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,633
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
43
00:01:37,635 --> 00:01:40,169
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
44
00:01:40,171 --> 00:01:42,838
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
45
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,507
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
46
00:01:45,509 --> 00:01:47,442
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
47
00:01:47,444 --> 00:01:49,376
♪ Bang! ♪
48
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:53,377
♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x11 ♪
The Clean Room Infiltration
Original Air Date on December 11, 2014
49
00:01:53,378 --> 00:01:59,878
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
50
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:03,004
You know the best part
of working in the clean room?
51
00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:04,039
No allergies.
52
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,340
Check it out.
53
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,511
Oh, that-that...
that's a lot of oxygen.
54
00:02:11,515 --> 00:02:13,815
We should get
going to Amy's.
55
00:02:13,817 --> 00:02:15,517
Can you believe
there was a time
56
00:02:15,519 --> 00:02:17,319
when we would have
needed an array
57
00:02:17,321 --> 00:02:20,088
of giant Cherenkov telescopes
to detect cosmic particles?
58
00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:23,224
And here we are building
our own multi-wire detector
59
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:26,194
like a couple of badasses.
60
00:02:26,196 --> 00:02:28,196
I know. If we were still single,
61
00:02:28,198 --> 00:02:31,466
we'd be tripping
over all that booty.
62
00:02:31,468 --> 00:02:35,503
Ladies do love a man dressed
like a kitchen garbage bag.
63
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,411
Oh, no.
64
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,314
How the hell
did a pigeon get in here?
65
00:02:46,316 --> 00:02:48,350
You shut the loading doors, right?
I thought you did.
66
00:02:48,352 --> 00:02:50,518
Do you know what a
disaster this is?!
67
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,021
You mean 'cause this room isn't
supposed to have dust in it,
68
00:02:53,023 --> 00:02:55,991
and we just let in
a flying crap machine?!
69
00:02:55,993 --> 00:02:58,827
What do we do?
Should we call someone?
70
00:02:58,829 --> 00:03:01,696
And tell them that we
compromised all the equipment?
71
00:03:01,698 --> 00:03:04,065
Let's just get it out of
here before anyone knows.
72
00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:05,367
Okay, how do we catch it?
73
00:03:05,369 --> 00:03:07,769
Well, what if we turn
off all the lights
74
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:10,038
except for one, and
it'll come to it.
75
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,907
It's not a moth!
76
00:03:12,909 --> 00:03:15,276
Don't yell at me.
77
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,612
You're not gonna get
any good ideas out of me
78
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:18,680
if you're yelling.
79
00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:20,248
Okay, so if I remain calm,
80
00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:23,218
I'll get more gems like,
"Turn off the lights"?!
81
00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:24,786
Great, we're turning
on each other.
82
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:27,055
That's just what the
bird wants us to do!
83
00:03:29,326 --> 00:03:32,527
So, Dr. Koothrappali,
long flight?
84
00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:34,963
20 hours.
Oh, that's rough.
85
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:38,066
Not at all. Did you know that
when you fly transcontinental
86
00:03:38,068 --> 00:03:41,436
without your wife, you don't
pray for the plane to crash?
87
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,107
Can you please talk
about anything else?
88
00:03:46,109 --> 00:03:48,376
Forgive me.
89
00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:49,577
How are you
and Leonard?
90
00:03:49,579 --> 00:03:51,479
Oh, great.
Everything's good.
91
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:54,015
I see you got engaged.
Yes, we did.
92
00:03:54,017 --> 00:03:55,083
Let me tell you a story.
93
00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:56,618
Dad!
94
00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,653
Sorry.
95
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,156
I'm sure you won't grow
to hate each other.
96
00:04:04,861 --> 00:04:07,362
Hey, Leonard. What's up?
97
00:04:07,364 --> 00:04:10,432
What? How did that happen?
98
00:04:10,434 --> 00:04:11,466
Yeah, okay.
99
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,268
I'll be there as soon as I can.
100
00:04:13,270 --> 00:04:15,470
Sorry. I have to run
to the university.
101
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:16,571
What's going on?
102
00:04:16,573 --> 00:04:19,374
There's been a problem
with our experiment.
103
00:04:19,376 --> 00:04:21,443
A bird got into the clean room.
104
00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:23,945
You want me to come?
Uh, no.
105
00:04:23,947 --> 00:04:26,214
You had a long flight.
You stay here and relax.
106
00:04:26,216 --> 00:04:28,716
"Relax."
Easy for you to say.
107
00:04:28,718 --> 00:04:31,052
Your mother isn't cleaning out
your bank account.
108
00:04:31,054 --> 00:04:35,490
40 years,
the woman never cleaned a thing.
109
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,258
You're just
gonna leave him here?
110
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:39,494
"Relax," he says.
Yup. Bye.
111
00:04:41,898 --> 00:04:44,933
♪ Here comes Santa Claus,
here comes Santa Claus ♪
112
00:04:44,935 --> 00:04:46,501
♪ Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪
113
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:49,104
♪ Vixen and Blitzen
and all his reindeer ♪
114
00:04:49,106 --> 00:04:50,839
♪ Pulling on
the reins... ♪
115
00:04:50,841 --> 00:04:52,006
Yeah, I appreciate the ride...
116
00:04:52,008 --> 00:04:54,109
♪ Bells are ringing,
children singing ♪
117
00:04:54,111 --> 00:04:56,878
♪ All is merry
and bright ♪
118
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,247
♪ So hang your stockings
and say your prayers ♪
119
00:04:59,249 --> 00:05:02,484
♪ 'Cause Santa Claus
is coming tonight... ♪
120
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,819
Why'd you turn it off?
121
00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:07,856
Because in the last ten minutes,
Santa came to town,
122
00:05:07,858 --> 00:05:11,860
kissed Mommy and ran Grandma
over with a reindeer.
123
00:05:11,862 --> 00:05:13,995
I had a drunk uncle
who did all those things.
124
00:05:13,997 --> 00:05:16,264
Nobody sings songs about him.
125
00:05:16,266 --> 00:05:19,734
Maybe you'd like it more if you
thought of Santa as a superhero
126
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,403
and his power is bringing joy
to children.
127
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:25,173
My uncle was accused
of that, too.
128
00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:28,209
It turned out
to be legal in Oklahoma.
129
00:05:28,211 --> 00:05:30,178
Okay, new subject.
130
00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:32,080
Let's talk
about presents.
131
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,748
What did you get Amy?
132
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,283
Oh, we're not exchanging gifts.
133
00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:38,486
Come on, Sheldon, you
have to get her something.
134
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:39,988
Why should I?
135
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:41,923
She knows
that I don't like Christmas,
136
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,859
and yet, every year,
she forces me to celebrate it.
137
00:05:44,861 --> 00:05:47,896
Not only am I going to this
foolish dinner against my will.
138
00:05:47,898 --> 00:05:50,298
At the Christmas tree lot,
there was mistletoe,
139
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,433
and she kissed me
under it in public.
140
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,703
Like we were the stars
of a Tijuana sex show.
141
00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:59,641
She's just excited
about the holidays.
142
00:05:59,643 --> 00:06:03,711
Yes, and she's not taking
my feelings into account at all.
143
00:06:03,713 --> 00:06:05,914
Maybe it's time
I teach her a lesson.
144
00:06:05,916 --> 00:06:07,715
How?
145
00:06:07,717 --> 00:06:11,719
Hmm. It'd have
to be something heinous,
146
00:06:11,721 --> 00:06:14,923
something that makes her
as miserable as she's making me.
147
00:06:14,925 --> 00:06:17,325
Oh, I've got it.
148
00:06:18,728 --> 00:06:21,596
This is good.
149
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:22,764
What?
150
00:06:22,766 --> 00:06:25,900
I'm going to buy her a present.
151
00:06:25,902 --> 00:06:29,971
Yeah, you're gonna
have to walk me through that.
152
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,173
With gift-giving, there's
an implied social contract.
153
00:06:32,175 --> 00:06:33,508
If I show up
154
00:06:33,510 --> 00:06:36,344
tonight with a present,
and she doesn't have one for me,
155
00:06:36,346 --> 00:06:38,980
she'll feel terrible.
156
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,282
Then you're both sad?
157
00:06:41,284 --> 00:06:43,518
Yes.
158
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,886
Maybe she'll feel so guilty,
159
00:06:44,888 --> 00:06:47,055
she'll never make me celebrate
the holidays again.
160
00:06:47,057 --> 00:06:51,993
So your evil plot here is to buy
your girlfriend a present?
161
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,528
That's right.
162
00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:56,598
So stay on my good side, or I'll
get you a little something, too.
163
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,672
Okay, here's the plan.
164
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,874
I'm gonna put the food
in the bag,
165
00:07:06,876 --> 00:07:10,078
and when he lands in the bag
to eat it, we close it up.
166
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,280
A Slim Jim?
167
00:07:12,282 --> 00:07:14,282
It's all I could find.
It'll work.
168
00:07:14,284 --> 00:07:15,416
Sure.
169
00:07:15,418 --> 00:07:17,252
If the pigeon's stoned
or a trucker.
170
00:07:19,956 --> 00:07:21,289
Okay, well, what's your plan?
171
00:07:21,291 --> 00:07:22,490
I told you my plan.
172
00:07:22,492 --> 00:07:24,158
Let's call Building Services
and get help.
173
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,528
And admit that we contaminated
the clean room?
174
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,064
No, admit that you
contaminated the clean room.
175
00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:32,233
Why do you keep assuming
it was me?
176
00:07:32,235 --> 00:07:34,469
Because you do this kind
of thing all the time,
177
00:07:34,471 --> 00:07:36,371
and then you try
to cover it up.
178
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,373
Like when?
179
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,808
What about when you
flipped the Mars Rover,
180
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:42,477
or lost Koothrappali's dog,
181
00:07:42,479 --> 00:07:45,013
or almost drove off
with that baby?
182
00:07:45,015 --> 00:07:48,716
Again, it looked like my car,
and the baby didn't even cry
183
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,885
until his mother punched me
with her keys.
184
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,521
Fine, put the Slim Jim
in the garbage bag.
185
00:07:53,523 --> 00:07:55,490
Well, what if you said it
186
00:07:55,492 --> 00:07:56,824
without sounding
so condescending?
187
00:07:56,826 --> 00:07:59,093
I can try, but your
plan has the words
188
00:07:59,095 --> 00:08:01,162
"garbage bag" and
"Slim Jim" in it!
189
00:08:01,164 --> 00:08:03,364
Hey, what's going on?
Oh.
190
00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:04,899
Genius here wants
to catch a bird
191
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,934
with a garbage bag
and a Slim Jim.
192
00:08:11,274 --> 00:08:14,909
Should have put it
in the bag first.
193
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,604
So, if you don't
mind me asking,
194
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:27,638
do you think you might
start dating again?
195
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,106
It's much too soon for that.
196
00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:31,108
Why? Do you know someone?
197
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:34,178
No, but if things don't
work out with me and Leonard,
198
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,780
I'll give you a call.
199
00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:38,916
Wait. How much do you talk
about Star Trek?
200
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:44,155
Okay, let's get this
Victorian party started.
201
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,489
I've done some research
202
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,758
about some traditional
parlor games we can play.
203
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:48,993
Like what?
204
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:53,464
Well, there's a fun one
called Ball of Wool.
205
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:56,667
You take a ball of wool,
206
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:59,170
and you put it right
in the center of the table.
207
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,338
Then people sit
208
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,672
on opposite sides of the table
209
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,874
and try to blow the wool off.
210
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,347
Sorry.
She's taken, too.
211
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:13,584
You know what I think
your problem is?
212
00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:14,452
You're jealous
213
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,053
because you and I
used to be
214
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,789
best friends until
Koothrappali came along.
215
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,292
And you found somebody
you could push around?
216
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,593
Hey!
Stay out of this.
217
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:25,129
Okay.
218
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,264
You know, maybe I'm
best friends with Raj
219
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:29,200
because he doesn't think
he's smarter than me.
220
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,802
Actually...
I said, stay out of it!
221
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:34,639
N-No. No, Raj, go ahead,
say what you were gonna say.
222
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:35,840
All I'm gonna say is
223
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,875
you guys need
to stop this right now.
224
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:40,311
It-It's bad enough that
my parents are fighting,
225
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,613
now I have to hear
the two of you?
226
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:43,714
And who cares who's smarter?
227
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:45,282
If it's Leonard or me or...
228
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:47,918
you know, it's Christmas,
let's say it's Howard.
229
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:53,858
Well, if you're so smart,
you get the bird out.
230
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,092
No, you're the one
who let him in.
231
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,128
How do you know
it wasn't Leonard?
232
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,096
Come on.
233
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,669
What about that sweater?
234
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,137
No, it's not good enough.
235
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,439
It has to be perfect.
236
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,408
I think the nicest gifts
I've got from Howie
237
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,143
show how well
he knows me.
238
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,244
Hmm.
239
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,980
Let's see,
what do I know about Amy?
240
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:19,917
She loves medieval literature;
Chaucer's her favorite.
241
00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:23,754
And her eyes sparkle when
she watches old French movies.
242
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:28,159
I enjoy how harp music causes
her fingers to dance
243
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,261
as if she's playing along.
244
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:33,264
Wow, you really do love her.
245
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,933
I do.
246
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,903
Now, let's find
the kind of gift
247
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:42,206
that makes her feel
small and worthless.
248
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:12,570
You won!
249
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:17,842
Certainly doesn't
feel like it, does it?
250
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,411
You know, my wife used to throw
251
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,646
theme parties like this
all the time.
252
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:24,982
Oh, I guess that's
where Raj gets it from.
253
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:27,651
Well, he and his mother
spent a lot of time together
254
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:28,986
when he was young.
255
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,154
I was always working.
256
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:32,690
Hey, you know, Raj is dating
257
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,759
a doctor who works a lot.
258
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:37,061
Him and his mom have a type.
259
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:40,331
You g... Y-You got to laugh
at that, right?
260
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,200
No? All right.
261
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,706
All right, let me see
if I've got this straight.
262
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,742
A picture of you on my lap
263
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:53,811
is a way to punish
your girlfriend
264
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:55,813
for making you
celebrate Christmas?
265
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,381
Correct.
266
00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:01,252
Santa thinks dating you
may be punishment enough.
267
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,290
There's an argument
for that.
268
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,192
But I want to make sure.
269
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:09,026
Smile.
270
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,861
Ho, ho, ho!
271
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:19,036
Okay. On the
count of three,
272
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:21,238
I'll shoot the fire extinguisher
and get him airborne.
273
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,774
Howard, you wave the blanket
and guide him towards the exit.
274
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,876
Raj, you hold open the
curtain so he can fly out.
275
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,345
Are you sure a dummy
like me can handle something
276
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,481
as complicated
as a blanket?
277
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,650
Do you want the
fire extinguisher?
278
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,218
Yeah, I do.
Great.
279
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,519
Here you go.
280
00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:37,721
Okay.
281
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,393
One, two, three.
282
00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,765
Uh, you have to
take the pin out.
283
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,271
You miss the blanket now,
don't you?
284
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,142
On three.
285
00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:00,778
One, two, three.
286
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:10,855
What did you do?
287
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:12,823
It was an accident.
288
00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:14,959
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
289
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,861
Relax, it wasn't your fault.
290
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:18,495
Uh, maybe it's just stunned.
291
00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:20,097
Dude, i-it's not breathing.
292
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:23,500
Oh, no. I killed it.
293
00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:25,436
Oh, not again.
294
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:28,372
What do you mean, not again?
295
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,509
When I was ten,
296
00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:36,280
I was playing
in my backyard and...
297
00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:38,716
sat on a blue jay.
298
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,653
I mean, I tried
to bring it back to life
299
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,623
with electricity, but it just...
300
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,491
caught on fire.
301
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:53,631
The worst part was
it smelled delicious.
302
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,067
Uh, guys, I found
an article here
303
00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:59,236
that says you can do CPR
on birds.
304
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:00,738
Great! Do it!
305
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,439
I'm not doing it.
You killed him, you do it.
306
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,441
I'll do it.
No.
307
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:05,309
I need to do it.
308
00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:07,511
This is on me.
309
00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:13,083
Okay.
310
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:16,153
"Mouth over beak
and light chest compressions."
311
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:17,321
Don't blow too hard.
312
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:20,157
If you pop him, I will vomit.
313
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,260
Anything?
314
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:25,429
I am tasting a lot of Slim Jim.
315
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:31,769
Wait, wait, his wing moved!
316
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,771
Oh, he blinked his eyes!
He's alive!
317
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,205
It's a Christmas miracle!
318
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,841
I might argue a Hanukkah
miracle, but I'll take it.
319
00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:40,811
Come on, little guy, let's get
you outside. Get the curtain.
320
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:51,722
Someone should really
close that loading door.
321
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,064
Well, that's that.
322
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,732
The room's compromised.
323
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,567
They'll have to change
all the filters,
324
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,437
probably shut it down
for weeks.
325
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:09,340
You were right. Go ahead,
call Building Services.
326
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,542
Tell them it was my fault.
No, we're both to blame.
327
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,110
You know, let me take
the heat on this one.
328
00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:14,378
Yeah, just leave me out of it.
329
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,380
You know if they come here
and see crap everywhere,
330
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:18,749
they're just gonna
blame the Indian guy.
331
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:25,723
Hey. I'm sorry,
we're still here.
332
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,157
Is everything okay?
333
00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:28,559
It's kind of boring.
334
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,294
Although it did get exciting
for a minute
335
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:32,763
when Amy inhaled a wool ball.
336
00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:35,232
How much longer
do you think you'll be?
337
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:36,200
I don't know.
338
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:37,701
There's still
a bird in here.
339
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,970
We are gonna get in
a ton of trouble.
340
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,872
Honey, it's Christmas Eve.
Who even knows you're in there?
341
00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:43,907
No, our names are on
the sign-in sheet.
342
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:45,642
So erase them and walk out.
343
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:47,344
I can't do that.
344
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:48,479
Can't do what?
345
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:49,646
She says take our names
346
00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:51,081
off the sign-in sheet
and leave.
347
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,617
We can't do that.
Yeah.
348
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,289
♪ Jingle bells, jingle
bells, jingle all the way ♪
349
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,991
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪
350
00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:03,660
♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh, hey! ♪
351
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,630
Mmm. Amy,
352
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,499
that pudding was delicious.
353
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,368
If you like raisins.
354
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,670
Thank you. And it's figs.
355
00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:14,672
Oh.
356
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:16,673
Oh, in that case,
it was pretty good.
357
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:20,411
You feeling okay? You hardly
touched your goose.
358
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,180
It smelled too much
like blue jay.
359
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,416
Can I help you
clean up?
360
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,951
Oh, you Heimliched a ball
of wool out of me; you're good.
361
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,423
Uh, what do you say
we exchange gifts?
362
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:33,690
Oh, Sheldon,
we didn't bring any.
363
00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:35,325
I thought you hate
giving gifts.
364
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,327
Yeah, I do.
365
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:39,696
Which is why I got Amy this.
366
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,165
You got me something?
367
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,267
Oh, not just
something, no.
368
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:45,669
It's from the heart,
it's holiday-themed,
369
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:49,840
and I swallowed the gift receipt
so you cannot return it.
370
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,579
Look at you on Santa's lap.
371
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,214
That's so sweet.
372
00:16:57,216 --> 00:17:00,250
Of course it is.
It's the perfect gift.
373
00:17:00,252 --> 00:17:01,819
H-How are you feeling right now?
374
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:04,288
Guilty? Sad?
375
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,490
Wishing you were Jewish?
376
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,560
No, I love it.
377
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,727
Oh, really?
378
00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:12,229
Well, how about now?
379
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:17,334
Happy holidays to my dear Amy.
380
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:20,471
I hope you treasure this
381
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:24,308
as much as I treasure you.
382
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:27,544
And you got me nothing.
383
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,447
Christmas is ruined.
384
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,249
Let's never speak of it again.
385
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:35,052
Well, this was fun.
386
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,753
Actually,
387
00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:39,456
I did get you
something.
388
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:42,693
But what about our agreement?
389
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,562
Well, you got me
something. Here.
390
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:51,368
Cookies?
391
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:53,904
They're your Meemaw's
Christmas cookies.
392
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,007
I called and got
the recipe.
393
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:08,118
They're perfect.
394
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,456
It tastes like her hugs.
395
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:16,693
Merry Christmas, Sheldon.
396
00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:20,531
I can't believe this.
397
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:24,168
You're happy, I'm happy.
398
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,537
Well, maybe a holiday that's
all about giving isn't so...
399
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,072
Get your hand out of that box!
400
00:18:37,881 --> 00:18:39,013
Okay.
401
00:18:39,015 --> 00:18:42,917
The next game is called
Hot Boiled Beans.
402
00:18:44,754 --> 00:18:47,188
Of course it is.
403
00:18:47,190 --> 00:18:49,290
One person is sent
out of the room
404
00:18:49,292 --> 00:18:51,759
while the others
hide a small item.
405
00:18:51,761 --> 00:18:53,060
Then they invite
406
00:18:53,062 --> 00:18:54,895
the first person back by saying,
407
00:18:54,897 --> 00:18:57,131
"Hot boiled beans
and bacon for supper,
408
00:18:57,133 --> 00:19:00,634
hurry up before it gets cold."
409
00:19:02,973 --> 00:19:05,507
If you people think this is
better than Tom Hanks-giving,
410
00:19:05,509 --> 00:19:06,775
you're all crazy.
411
00:19:08,233 --> 00:19:14,733
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man