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English (HI) Subtitles.
[MP4] The Big Bang Theory S08E20 (720p) The Fortification Implementation - HDTV [KoTuWa]
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00:00:02,647 --> 00:00:03,980
You're wrong.
No, I'm not.
3
00:00:03,982 --> 00:00:06,382
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
4
00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:08,375
Settle this. Those
little animated pictures
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00:00:08,386 --> 00:00:11,020
on the Internet, are they
called "gifs" or "jifs"?
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00:00:11,022 --> 00:00:12,622
Well, the G stands
for "graphics."
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00:00:12,624 --> 00:00:14,524
That's a hard G,
so I'd say "gif."
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00:00:14,526 --> 00:00:17,460
W... The guy who invented
it says it's "jif."
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00:00:17,462 --> 00:00:21,130
I'm sorry, do you mean
the guy or the juy?
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00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,234
Well, I'll give you
three guesses
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00:00:24,236 --> 00:00:26,236
why I'm so irritated.
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00:00:26,238 --> 00:00:29,973
Something happened different
from the way you wanted it.
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00:00:30,809 --> 00:00:32,942
I guess news travels fast.
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It's true,
a select group of scientists
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00:00:35,747 --> 00:00:37,413
was invited
to a weekend symposium
16
00:00:37,415 --> 00:00:39,382
at a former home
of Richard Feynman,
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and I wasn't included.
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00:00:41,019 --> 00:00:43,586
Oh, Sheldon, I'm sure it's
not because they don't think
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you're an elite scientist.
Yeah,
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I bet you anything it's
just 'cause you're a pain in the ass.
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You're just saying that
to make me feel better.
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Look, you can spend
the rest of the day
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00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,967
being bitter about this.
Agreed.
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I was gonna say "or,"
but why bother?
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
26
00:01:04,676 --> 00:01:08,011
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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00:01:08,013 --> 00:01:09,646
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
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00:01:09,648 --> 00:01:12,181
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
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00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:14,851
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
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00:01:14,853 --> 00:01:17,520
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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00:01:19,424 --> 00:01:21,391
♪ Bang! ♪
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x20 ♪
The Fortification Implementation
Original Air Date: 2015-04-09
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Sync, corrected by elderman
@elder_man
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Hey, Raj.
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Hey, I got you
a little gift.
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00:01:34,592 --> 00:01:37,159
Oh, that's a lot
of Girl Scout Cookies.
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00:01:37,161 --> 00:01:39,027
You know me.
I'm from India.
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00:01:39,029 --> 00:01:41,196
I can't resist children begging.
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00:01:42,299 --> 00:01:44,733
So, how's it going
with the title to the house?
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Great, it's all done.
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00:01:45,669 --> 00:01:46,735
The lawyer
tracked down my father
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00:01:46,737 --> 00:01:48,237
and got him to sign it over.
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I didn't have to meet him,
I didn't have to talk to him,
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I don't even know where he is.
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Wow, so you're not curious
at all?
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Nope.
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00:01:55,679 --> 00:01:57,279
Hm. What if he's in prison?
49
00:01:57,281 --> 00:01:59,047
What if he's a spy?
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00:01:59,049 --> 00:02:01,884
What if he's
in a Beatles cover band?
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00:02:03,053 --> 00:02:05,220
I'm just saying, if he's got
your nose and haircut,
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he'd make a killer Ringo.
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00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,460
Thanks again for
agreeing to do this.
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00:02:11,462 --> 00:02:13,929
Oh, it's cool; I've never been
on a podcast before.
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00:02:13,931 --> 00:02:15,898
Well, you picked
a good one to start.
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Wil's had lots of great guests.
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00:02:17,167 --> 00:02:18,834
Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner,
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00:02:18,836 --> 00:02:21,303
Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden...
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Those are Star Trek people.
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Yes!
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00:02:24,441 --> 00:02:25,507
I only figured that out
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00:02:25,509 --> 00:02:27,209
because I've never heard
of any of them.
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I deserve that.
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I invited you on my show
and I drove here.
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Sorry.
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00:02:33,851 --> 00:02:35,384
Okay, so, this is
basically gonna be
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just like a little talk show.
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00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:38,320
Uh, we're gonna take some calls,
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we'll talk about what
it was like on the set
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00:02:40,024 --> 00:02:41,256
of Serial Ape-ist 2.
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It should be really fun.
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This is exciting.
Yeah.
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00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:44,960
So, how many people listen?
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00:02:44,962 --> 00:02:46,228
Most people download it later,
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00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:48,297
but usually a few thousand
people listen live.
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What?! A few thousand people
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listen to you talk
about nerd stuff?
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Again, right in the ears,
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straight to the feelings.
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Can you please pass the salt?
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Sure.
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It's not like I was invited
to Richard Feynman's house
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and have anything better to do.
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Is this how the rest
of the night's going to be?
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00:03:12,957 --> 00:03:15,257
I don't know the future.
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00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:18,493
Do you think there's a chance
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00:03:18,495 --> 00:03:20,495
that an asteroid
could hit the Earth,
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00:03:20,497 --> 00:03:23,966
destroying Feynman's house
and everyone in it?
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00:03:23,968 --> 00:03:26,134
No, Sheldon.
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00:03:26,136 --> 00:03:29,471
Then buckle up;
you're in for a cranky night.
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According to the codicil
of the Relationship Agreement
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which you insisted upon,
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we're not allowed to pout
or be moody on date night.
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You know I just put that in
because of uterus stuff.
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Well, it applies to you, too.
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00:03:44,054 --> 00:03:46,855
I was afraid you might
bring this up,
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00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:50,025
so I have a work-around.
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00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,898
There you go.
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00:04:01,939 --> 00:04:04,706
As far as you're concerned,
I'm smiling.
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00:04:06,076 --> 00:04:07,976
Although, I must admit,
I'm smiling a little bit
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00:04:07,978 --> 00:04:10,312
at the moment because
this loophole is so brilliant.
102
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So, Bernadette, have you thought
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about how you're going
to redecorate this place?
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You know, I'm thinking
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00:04:18,756 --> 00:04:20,255
ripping up the carpets,
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00:04:20,257 --> 00:04:21,990
maybe lose the wallpaper,
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00:04:21,992 --> 00:04:23,325
all new light fixtures...
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00:04:23,327 --> 00:04:25,160
You know,
if you knocked out this wall,
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00:04:25,162 --> 00:04:26,895
it would give you an
open floor plan,
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00:04:26,897 --> 00:04:31,033
and then-- it's a little scary,
but could be fun--
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Indoor fire pit.
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(doorbell rings)
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Hey, I grew up
in this house, okay?
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No one's knocking anything down.
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Okay, okay.
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00:04:42,179 --> 00:04:43,512
When he's at Comic-Con,
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I'm bringing in
a wrecking ball.
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Can I help you?
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Hi. Are you Howard Wolowitz?
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00:04:52,089 --> 00:04:53,655
Yes.
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00:04:53,657 --> 00:04:55,357
Um, this is a little weird,
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00:04:55,359 --> 00:04:57,492
but a lawyer was trying
to contact my father,
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00:04:57,494 --> 00:05:00,095
because his name was still
on the title for this house.
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00:05:00,097 --> 00:05:02,531
W... uh, who's your father?
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00:05:02,533 --> 00:05:04,399
Sam Wolowitz.
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00:05:04,401 --> 00:05:05,901
(chuckles)
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00:05:05,903 --> 00:05:08,370
S-Sam Wolowitz is my father.
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00:05:08,372 --> 00:05:10,272
I know.
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00:05:10,274 --> 00:05:14,242
Well, wait, so if we have
the same father...
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I mean,
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00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:16,545
are you saying
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you're my half-brother?
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I think so.
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00:05:19,383 --> 00:05:20,649
(chuckles)
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00:05:20,651 --> 00:05:23,685
Bernadette, weird things
are happening out here!
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00:05:26,657 --> 00:05:28,990
I think I started to suspect
it was a bad movie
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00:05:28,992 --> 00:05:32,894
when I looked at the script
and saw the title,
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00:05:32,896 --> 00:05:35,530
Serial Ape-ist 2:
139
00:05:35,532 --> 00:05:38,533
Monkey See, Monkey Kill.
140
00:05:38,535 --> 00:05:39,868
Uh, spoiler alert:
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00:05:39,870 --> 00:05:42,571
after the monkey sees, it kills.
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00:05:42,573 --> 00:05:44,773
Psst.
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00:05:44,775 --> 00:05:46,508
I've just been handed a note.
144
00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:48,777
I'm going to read it.
145
00:05:48,779 --> 00:05:52,114
"Wil, do you want
more Diet Coke?
146
00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:56,151
Also, we have juice."
147
00:05:57,588 --> 00:06:00,155
I-I didn't want to interrupt.
148
00:06:01,258 --> 00:06:02,791
Uh, that voice you just heard
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00:06:02,793 --> 00:06:04,626
belongs to Leonard,
Penny's fiancé.
150
00:06:04,628 --> 00:06:06,628
Uh, Leonard, why don't you grab
some headphones and join us?
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00:06:06,630 --> 00:06:08,163
Really?
Yeah.
152
00:06:08,165 --> 00:06:09,498
(chuckles) Yeah, great.
153
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,333
So, while Leonard
gets set up,
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00:06:11,335 --> 00:06:12,901
let's take a call.
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00:06:12,903 --> 00:06:14,469
Hello, caller, you are on
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00:06:14,471 --> 00:06:16,905
with Penny and Wil
from Serial Ape-ist 2.
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00:06:16,907 --> 00:06:18,173
WOMAN:
I don't have a question.
158
00:06:18,175 --> 00:06:20,308
I just want to say
I'm a big fan of the movie.
159
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:21,877
I've seen it, like, ten times.
160
00:06:21,879 --> 00:06:24,312
Okay, well, I'll apologize
for the first time,
161
00:06:24,314 --> 00:06:26,581
but the other nine are on you.
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00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:28,150
(chuckles)
163
00:06:28,152 --> 00:06:29,518
Thanks a lot, caller.
164
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:30,920
You know that the movie
actually has
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00:06:30,921 --> 00:06:32,053
a little bit
of a cult following.
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00:06:32,055 --> 00:06:33,221
Really?
Yeah.
167
00:06:33,223 --> 00:06:34,556
I was at
a science-fiction convention,
168
00:06:34,558 --> 00:06:37,893
and I saw a woman dressed
as your half-ape character.
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00:06:37,895 --> 00:06:39,294
Oh, if she was
170
00:06:39,296 --> 00:06:41,463
with an Indian guy dressed
like a banana,
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00:06:41,465 --> 00:06:44,199
that was just my friends,
Howard and Raj.
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00:06:45,335 --> 00:06:47,769
All right, it's time
for a very special guest caller,
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00:06:47,771 --> 00:06:49,371
a friend of mine,
who you probably know
174
00:06:49,373 --> 00:06:51,773
as the director
of such movies as Clerks,
175
00:06:51,775 --> 00:06:53,441
or from podcasts and books
176
00:06:53,443 --> 00:06:55,210
where he often reminds you
that he's the guy
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00:06:55,212 --> 00:06:56,378
who directed Clerks.
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00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:57,746
Hello, Kevin Smith.
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00:06:57,748 --> 00:06:59,681
KEVIN: Hey, man,
yo, is everything okay, Wil?
180
00:06:59,683 --> 00:07:01,750
'Cause it's been,
like, two minutes
181
00:07:01,752 --> 00:07:04,653
and you haven't even brought up
Stand By Me.
182
00:07:06,290 --> 00:07:07,556
Hey, Kevin!
183
00:07:07,558 --> 00:07:09,157
It's really exciting
to talk to you.
184
00:07:09,159 --> 00:07:10,325
It really is.
185
00:07:10,327 --> 00:07:12,360
Oh, you guys are very sweet.
So, Penny, listen,
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00:07:12,362 --> 00:07:13,695
I saw your movie.
187
00:07:13,697 --> 00:07:15,831
Oh, wow. I wish it was better.
188
00:07:15,833 --> 00:07:16,898
Oh, don't worry about it.
189
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:18,867
Have you seen some
of Kevin's films?
190
00:07:19,970 --> 00:07:22,637
You're cruisin'
for a beatin', Wheaton.
191
00:07:24,174 --> 00:07:25,907
Anyway, man,
I dug the ape movie, Penny.
192
00:07:25,909 --> 00:07:27,876
And I thought you were, like,
really great in it.
193
00:07:27,878 --> 00:07:29,044
Aw.
194
00:07:29,046 --> 00:07:30,212
You know, I'm in the movie, too.
195
00:07:30,214 --> 00:07:31,813
Yeah, whatever. Penny!
196
00:07:31,815 --> 00:07:35,317
Penny, how come you're not
in more stuff, man?
197
00:07:35,319 --> 00:07:36,518
I'd cast you in a minute.
198
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,420
Seriously?
Oh, yeah, man.
199
00:07:38,422 --> 00:07:40,255
I'm actually in pre-production
on a movie right now.
200
00:07:40,257 --> 00:07:41,356
Way different
201
00:07:41,358 --> 00:07:42,724
than anything I've ever
done before.
202
00:07:42,726 --> 00:07:45,060
It's called Clerks 3.
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00:07:45,062 --> 00:07:46,595
You should come over
204
00:07:46,597 --> 00:07:48,396
and read for a part.
205
00:07:48,398 --> 00:07:50,599
Oh, my, I would love that.
206
00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:52,000
You have a new job.
207
00:07:52,002 --> 00:07:53,635
Well, maybe I can do both.
208
00:07:53,637 --> 00:07:56,104
I don't think you can do both.
209
00:07:56,106 --> 00:07:58,440
I don't think I asked you.
210
00:07:58,442 --> 00:08:00,275
Yeah, you tell him, Penny.
211
00:08:01,578 --> 00:08:04,679
Stay out of it, Kevin Smith.
212
00:08:05,849 --> 00:08:08,149
Do you think there comes
a point in life
213
00:08:08,151 --> 00:08:11,353
when it stops feeling bad
to be left out of things?
214
00:08:11,355 --> 00:08:12,754
Probably not.
215
00:08:12,756 --> 00:08:14,856
It's an evolutionary advantage
216
00:08:14,858 --> 00:08:17,025
to be included
in group activities.
217
00:08:17,027 --> 00:08:18,593
You know what?
218
00:08:18,595 --> 00:08:20,595
I used to be a fan of evolution,
219
00:08:20,597 --> 00:08:22,330
but I've since evolved,
220
00:08:22,332 --> 00:08:24,900
and now I think it's dumb.
221
00:08:26,003 --> 00:08:27,702
Being left out
is a terrible feeling.
222
00:08:27,704 --> 00:08:29,804
No one understands that
better than I do.
223
00:08:29,806 --> 00:08:31,640
Hey, look at that.
224
00:08:31,642 --> 00:08:34,743
Even in your example,
you're all by yourself.
225
00:08:36,513 --> 00:08:38,747
When there was
a lice epidemic at my school,
226
00:08:38,749 --> 00:08:40,582
everybody got it except me.
227
00:08:40,584 --> 00:08:43,418
I tried to fool everyone
by sprinkling sugar in my hair,
228
00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:46,821
but I just got attacked by bees.
229
00:08:47,925 --> 00:08:49,891
I can just picture
them all right now
230
00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:51,126
at Feynman's house,
231
00:08:51,128 --> 00:08:52,327
probably discussing Schrodinger
232
00:08:52,329 --> 00:08:54,329
and at the same time,
233
00:08:54,331 --> 00:08:56,665
not discussing Schrodinger.
234
00:08:56,667 --> 00:08:58,233
See?
235
00:08:58,235 --> 00:09:02,170
They're missing out
on hilarious jokes like that.
236
00:09:02,172 --> 00:09:04,372
And at the same time, not.
237
00:09:06,009 --> 00:09:08,076
It reminds me of when
my stupid brother and sister
238
00:09:08,078 --> 00:09:09,711
would build forts
in the living room
239
00:09:09,713 --> 00:09:11,313
and wouldn't let me in.
240
00:09:11,315 --> 00:09:13,949
I hated that so much.
241
00:09:13,951 --> 00:09:16,184
You know,
242
00:09:16,186 --> 00:09:17,385
there's nothing I can do
243
00:09:17,387 --> 00:09:19,287
about getting you invited
to the symposium,
244
00:09:19,289 --> 00:09:21,456
but if you wanted...
245
00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,358
we could build a fort.
246
00:09:24,194 --> 00:09:26,294
Isn't that a little juvenile?
247
00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:28,463
More juvenile than this?
248
00:09:32,035 --> 00:09:33,168
I'll get the blankets.
249
00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:34,869
You Google how
to have childlike fun.
250
00:09:38,275 --> 00:09:40,075
You know what,
I'm being a bad host.
251
00:09:40,077 --> 00:09:41,276
Let me get some more coffee.
252
00:09:41,278 --> 00:09:43,678
Oh, let me do it, Howard.
No, I got it.
253
00:09:46,016 --> 00:09:47,615
So, Josh, what do you do?
254
00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:49,951
I'm studying oceanography
down in San Diego.
255
00:09:49,953 --> 00:09:52,153
Oh, how nice.
256
00:09:55,892 --> 00:09:58,560
I loved Finding Nemo.
257
00:09:59,496 --> 00:10:00,562
Enough chitchat.
258
00:10:00,564 --> 00:10:02,263
How do we know you are
who you say you are?
259
00:10:02,265 --> 00:10:04,599
Why would I lie?
260
00:10:04,601 --> 00:10:06,901
Okay, you got me there.
261
00:10:08,005 --> 00:10:10,572
You here looking for money?
No.
262
00:10:10,574 --> 00:10:13,041
A kidney, cornea,
piece of his liver?
263
00:10:13,043 --> 00:10:14,409
No.
264
00:10:14,411 --> 00:10:16,277
You're in a Beatles cover band
265
00:10:16,279 --> 00:10:19,547
and you need Howard to replace
your dad as Ringo.
266
00:10:20,984 --> 00:10:22,851
Why don't you help
with the coffee?
267
00:10:22,853 --> 00:10:25,820
Okay, but something
smells fishy.
268
00:10:25,822 --> 00:10:26,855
And not just because
269
00:10:26,857 --> 00:10:28,323
you work around sea animals.
270
00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:30,458
That actually
sounds interesting,
271
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:32,160
and I'd like
to learn more about it.
272
00:10:34,831 --> 00:10:36,364
Hey, you okay?
273
00:10:36,366 --> 00:10:37,899
Not really.
274
00:10:37,901 --> 00:10:40,502
This guy shows up
out of the blue,
275
00:10:40,504 --> 00:10:42,070
and now I have a brother?
276
00:10:42,072 --> 00:10:45,340
My father has another family?
277
00:10:45,342 --> 00:10:47,175
I get it.
278
00:10:47,177 --> 00:10:48,977
What do you want to do?
279
00:10:48,979 --> 00:10:50,979
I don't know. I...
280
00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:52,814
I'd just like him to go away.
281
00:10:52,816 --> 00:10:54,482
I can't deal with this.
282
00:10:54,484 --> 00:10:56,451
All right, I've got your back.
283
00:10:56,453 --> 00:10:58,620
Thank you. Come on.
284
00:11:00,023 --> 00:11:01,189
And I'd like to point out
285
00:11:01,191 --> 00:11:04,526
this wall just provided
a lot of privacy!
286
00:11:06,463 --> 00:11:08,063
I can't believe
my brother's an astronaut.
287
00:11:08,065 --> 00:11:09,964
That's amazing. What was it like?
Listen, dude,
288
00:11:09,966 --> 00:11:11,266
it's time for you
to hit the road.
289
00:11:11,268 --> 00:11:13,735
Hey, hey, the young man asked
a good question.
290
00:11:22,709 --> 00:11:24,242
So, for those of you
just tuning in,
291
00:11:24,244 --> 00:11:25,576
we are listening
292
00:11:25,578 --> 00:11:27,945
to a really fun fight between my costar...
No, no, no.
293
00:11:27,947 --> 00:11:29,180
We're not fighting;
we're just...
294
00:11:29,182 --> 00:11:30,615
having a conversation.
295
00:11:30,617 --> 00:11:32,316
All right.
296
00:11:32,318 --> 00:11:35,186
We're listening
to a really fun conversation
297
00:11:35,188 --> 00:11:38,356
between my costar
from Serial Ape-ist 2
298
00:11:38,358 --> 00:11:40,024
and her fiancé,
who doesn't believe
299
00:11:40,026 --> 00:11:42,526
women should have dreams.
300
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:47,632
Give me back that juice.
301
00:11:48,568 --> 00:11:50,434
What is the harm
if I audition?
302
00:11:50,436 --> 00:11:51,836
Well, what if you get it?
303
00:11:51,838 --> 00:11:53,938
I don't know, I make a movie,
304
00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:55,573
become rich and famous,
305
00:11:55,575 --> 00:11:56,774
win an Oscar, a Golden Globe
306
00:11:56,776 --> 00:11:58,809
and live an incredibly
wonderful life.
307
00:11:58,811 --> 00:12:01,512
From a Kevin Smith movie?
308
00:12:02,582 --> 00:12:04,882
KEVIN:
Oh, I'm hanging up now.
309
00:12:04,884 --> 00:12:06,250
Don't you listen
to him, buddy.
310
00:12:06,252 --> 00:12:07,485
You're awesome.
311
00:12:07,487 --> 00:12:09,487
You're one of the greatest
directors of our time.
312
00:12:09,489 --> 00:12:12,189
I don't have
a part for you, Wheaton.
313
00:12:12,992 --> 00:12:14,992
And that was Kevin Smith.
314
00:12:14,994 --> 00:12:17,361
Thanks a lot.
315
00:12:17,363 --> 00:12:18,963
I'm just trying to protect you.
316
00:12:18,965 --> 00:12:21,232
How many times did I see you
get your heart broken
317
00:12:21,234 --> 00:12:23,067
trying to make it
as an actress?
318
00:12:23,069 --> 00:12:24,702
Okay, instead of protecting me,
why don't you try
319
00:12:24,704 --> 00:12:26,504
being excited when
something good happens?
320
00:12:26,506 --> 00:12:28,773
I'm always excited for you!
321
00:12:28,775 --> 00:12:30,508
I'm excited that you found
this new job
322
00:12:30,510 --> 00:12:31,976
where you're making
decent money.
323
00:12:31,978 --> 00:12:34,178
Decent? I make twice
what you make.
324
00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:35,880
Wait, twice?!
325
00:12:35,882 --> 00:12:37,548
Yeah.
326
00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:41,218
Like, "times two" twice?
327
00:12:42,288 --> 00:12:44,355
For those of you at home,
Leonard just found out
328
00:12:44,357 --> 00:12:47,591
his fiancée makes
way more money than he does.
329
00:12:47,593 --> 00:12:49,994
Let's listen.
330
00:12:49,996 --> 00:12:51,963
I went to school
for half my life.
331
00:12:51,965 --> 00:12:53,030
I have a doctorate.
332
00:12:53,032 --> 00:12:55,700
I'm still paying off
college loans.
333
00:12:55,702 --> 00:12:56,801
Well, how much do you owe?
334
00:12:56,803 --> 00:12:58,903
Maybe I can help you out.
335
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:03,908
Wil, can we just turn off
the podcast for a little bit?
336
00:13:03,910 --> 00:13:05,376
For those of you at home,
337
00:13:05,378 --> 00:13:07,678
I am shaking my head "no."
338
00:13:15,088 --> 00:13:16,487
How's it going, Sheldon?
339
00:13:16,489 --> 00:13:19,190
Wonderful!
340
00:13:20,026 --> 00:13:22,193
I just finished
hanging the lights.
341
00:13:22,195 --> 00:13:23,394
Can I come in?
342
00:13:23,396 --> 00:13:25,262
Yes, oh,
but enter through the side.
343
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:28,332
Batman is
a load-bearing blanket.
344
00:13:32,538 --> 00:13:34,638
Amazing.
345
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,140
I know.
346
00:13:36,142 --> 00:13:37,508
This isn't the printout.
347
00:13:37,510 --> 00:13:39,410
This is my real face.
348
00:13:40,513 --> 00:13:42,013
What are we doing?
349
00:13:42,015 --> 00:13:43,314
This is a fort.
350
00:13:43,316 --> 00:13:45,783
Let's sit on the floor.
351
00:13:45,785 --> 00:13:47,952
Roughing it? Okay.
352
00:13:50,189 --> 00:13:51,689
(gasps)
353
00:13:51,691 --> 00:13:54,892
Everything looks
so big from down here.
354
00:13:56,162 --> 00:13:59,397
This must be
how Leonard feels.
355
00:14:02,769 --> 00:14:04,335
I'm surprised
you could hear me
356
00:14:04,337 --> 00:14:06,404
with this Thin Mint
in your ear!
357
00:14:06,406 --> 00:14:07,805
(laughs)
358
00:14:07,807 --> 00:14:09,473
Yeah, pretty cool, huh?
359
00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:10,441
Yeah.
360
00:14:10,443 --> 00:14:14,378
Anyway,
I should probably get going.
361
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:15,713
Howie, have you
noticed how often
362
00:14:15,715 --> 00:14:18,482
people say that
when you start to do magic?
363
00:14:19,152 --> 00:14:21,685
Sorry, I have a long drive.
364
00:14:21,687 --> 00:14:24,522
Well, I hope I get
to see you again.
365
00:14:24,524 --> 00:14:26,123
(chuckles)
I hope so, too.
366
00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:29,960
I've always dreamed of having
a brother to play catch with.
367
00:14:30,797 --> 00:14:32,630
Keep dreaming.
368
00:14:33,332 --> 00:14:34,665
Hey, I threw out the first pitch
369
00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:36,534
at an Angels game.
Wow.
370
00:14:36,536 --> 00:14:39,270
He did it with a robot.
371
00:14:40,073 --> 00:14:42,973
You had sex with a robot?
372
00:14:42,975 --> 00:14:45,142
That's not what she meant.
373
00:14:45,144 --> 00:14:46,777
But technically, yes.
374
00:14:49,482 --> 00:14:50,981
Hang on, if you're making
all this money,
375
00:14:50,983 --> 00:14:52,616
where is it?
376
00:14:52,618 --> 00:14:53,751
In a safe place.
377
00:14:53,753 --> 00:14:55,286
What does that mean,
under your bed?
378
00:14:55,288 --> 00:14:56,654
No, it means
379
00:14:56,656 --> 00:14:59,023
a diversified portfolio
of stocks and bonds.
380
00:14:59,025 --> 00:15:00,424
I'm not overly conservative.
381
00:15:00,426 --> 00:15:04,061
I'm young, so my guy said I
can afford to take some risks.
382
00:15:04,063 --> 00:15:06,664
Wait a minute, you have "a guy"?
383
00:15:06,666 --> 00:15:07,965
Don't you have a guy?
384
00:15:07,967 --> 00:15:11,202
Why would I have a guy?
I don't have any money!
385
00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:13,170
Oh, sweetie,
386
00:15:13,172 --> 00:15:15,606
you should really
get some money.
387
00:15:15,608 --> 00:15:17,842
For those of you listening
at home,
388
00:15:17,844 --> 00:15:20,845
how great is this?
389
00:15:20,847 --> 00:15:23,647
Wil, I'm begging you,
just please turn that off.
390
00:15:23,649 --> 00:15:26,283
Sure.
391
00:15:26,285 --> 00:15:28,352
And we're back.
392
00:15:28,354 --> 00:15:31,755
Leonard, why are you making
such a big deal out of this?
393
00:15:31,757 --> 00:15:34,391
So our roles have changed a bit
over the last couple years.
394
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:35,759
This is the way life is.
395
00:15:35,761 --> 00:15:38,028
And I'm sure in time
they'll change again.
396
00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:41,298
Great, you're not only
more successful than me,
397
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,367
now you're more mature.
398
00:15:43,369 --> 00:15:45,569
Okay, look, would it
make you feel better
399
00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:48,873
if I did something dumb like
sneak out of work one day
400
00:15:48,875 --> 00:15:51,509
to go audition for
a Kevin Smith movie?
401
00:15:51,511 --> 00:15:53,844
That would be great, thank you!
402
00:15:55,047 --> 00:15:56,413
I'm just gonna jump
in here real quick.
403
00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:57,882
Leonard, a moment ago,
404
00:15:57,884 --> 00:16:01,118
you were dead set against Penny
resuming her acting career,
405
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,620
but now you're all for it.
406
00:16:02,622 --> 00:16:05,990
Is it fair to say that
she played you like a violin?
407
00:16:07,193 --> 00:16:09,493
Yes, it is, Wil.
408
00:16:12,131 --> 00:16:14,165
So, I have to ask,
409
00:16:14,167 --> 00:16:16,567
was the robot sexy?
410
00:16:16,569 --> 00:16:18,669
(chuckles)
It was actually
411
00:16:18,671 --> 00:16:21,438
just a mechanical hand.
412
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,708
'Cause that's all
you need, right?
413
00:16:25,845 --> 00:16:27,178
You are my brother.
414
00:16:29,315 --> 00:16:31,882
Okay, so the final four forts
415
00:16:31,884 --> 00:16:34,451
in the first annual
best fort ever contest,
416
00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:36,520
or "fort off," are...
417
00:16:37,657 --> 00:16:38,956
...Fort Knox,
418
00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:40,424
Fort Ticonderoga,
419
00:16:40,426 --> 00:16:42,927
Fort Sumter and...
420
00:16:42,929 --> 00:16:45,196
Fort Cozy McBlanket.
421
00:16:46,532 --> 00:16:47,798
I'd say...
422
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,767
Knox over Ticonderoga
423
00:16:49,769 --> 00:16:50,868
'cause it's got the gold.
424
00:16:50,870 --> 00:16:52,770
Mm-hmm.
And McBlanket over Sumter
425
00:16:52,772 --> 00:16:55,573
'cause it has
a higher thread count.
426
00:16:56,309 --> 00:16:58,275
(phone rings)
Oh.
427
00:16:58,277 --> 00:17:00,978
10:00.
428
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,146
Date night's over.
429
00:17:02,148 --> 00:17:03,414
Wait, no.
430
00:17:03,416 --> 00:17:04,915
We haven't picked a winner.
431
00:17:04,917 --> 00:17:07,384
We both know
this one's gonna win.
432
00:17:07,386 --> 00:17:09,153
Well, of course we do.
433
00:17:09,155 --> 00:17:10,921
Fort Knox doesn't have a secret
434
00:17:10,923 --> 00:17:13,090
physics lending library.
435
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,227
Come on, I'll help
you take this down.
436
00:17:16,229 --> 00:17:17,294
Well, wait.
437
00:17:17,296 --> 00:17:19,363
What if, just this once,
438
00:17:19,365 --> 00:17:21,699
we suspend
the date night parameters
439
00:17:21,701 --> 00:17:24,468
and you stay later?
440
00:17:26,305 --> 00:17:30,341
Well, as long as we're
suspending the parameters,
441
00:17:30,343 --> 00:17:31,942
I could stay really late
442
00:17:31,944 --> 00:17:35,312
and we could have
our first sleepover.
443
00:17:35,314 --> 00:17:37,615
That's a big step.
444
00:17:37,617 --> 00:17:40,784
It's a big fort.
445
00:17:42,388 --> 00:17:43,988
Very well.
446
00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:46,824
I will agree
to a family-friendly,
447
00:17:46,826 --> 00:17:49,627
G-rated, boy-girl sleepover.
448
00:17:51,664 --> 00:17:52,963
PG.
449
00:17:52,965 --> 00:17:56,400
Some scenes may be too intense
for younger viewers.
450
00:17:56,402 --> 00:17:58,636
G-rated,
451
00:17:58,638 --> 00:18:01,739
with a warning for families
with babies and toddlers.
452
00:18:04,043 --> 00:18:05,876
You got yourself a sleepover.
453
00:18:07,146 --> 00:18:08,412
Do you need to borrow
454
00:18:08,414 --> 00:18:09,780
a toothbrush or pajamas?
455
00:18:09,782 --> 00:18:11,749
Would it alarm you to know
456
00:18:11,751 --> 00:18:14,485
that I hid those things here
two years ago
457
00:18:14,487 --> 00:18:16,720
just in case this ever came up?
458
00:18:18,958 --> 00:18:20,190
It would,
459
00:18:20,192 --> 00:18:23,127
but you know how much
I admire preparedness.
460
00:18:24,864 --> 00:18:26,530
How did you know we'd be
in the living room?
461
00:18:26,532 --> 00:18:29,366
Who says this is
the only one I hid?
462
00:18:42,877 --> 00:18:45,043
Hello? What is this?
463
00:18:45,045 --> 00:18:47,679
We built a fort!
464
00:18:47,681 --> 00:18:49,882
Are those my sheets?
465
00:18:49,884 --> 00:18:52,217
Yes, they are.
466
00:18:52,219 --> 00:18:53,619
Okay.
467
00:18:53,621 --> 00:18:55,320
Well, you kids have fun.
468
00:18:55,322 --> 00:18:56,655
I'm gonna go to sleep.
469
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:59,291
Leonard, don't you want to see
the inside of the fort?
470
00:18:59,293 --> 00:19:00,592
Yeah, I'm good.
471
00:19:00,594 --> 00:19:01,927
Oh, come on.
472
00:19:01,929 --> 00:19:04,096
I really wanted to tell someone
they can't come in.
473
00:19:04,098 --> 00:19:05,797
Okay, fine.
474
00:19:05,799 --> 00:19:08,934
Sheldon, may I please
visit your fort?
475
00:19:08,936 --> 00:19:10,469
I want to say no,
476
00:19:10,471 --> 00:19:12,271
but it's too glorious.
Get in here!
477
00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:17,487
Thank you.
Okay, have a seat on the floor.
478
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,021
SHELDON:
Not there. That's my spot.
479
00:19:22,468 --> 00:19:28,968
Sync, corrected by elderman
@elder_man