1
00:00:01,838 --> 00:00:02,704
We're pinned down!
2
00:00:02,706 --> 00:00:03,805
We can't get through!
3
00:00:03,807 --> 00:00:05,406
Sheldon, get over here and help!
4
00:00:05,408 --> 00:00:07,008
Okay, one second.
5
00:00:09,312 --> 00:00:11,546
Sheldon, why are you
jumping up and down?
6
00:00:11,548 --> 00:00:13,047
I'm trying to shoot.
7
00:00:13,049 --> 00:00:14,182
Then use the shoot button,
8
00:00:14,184 --> 00:00:16,784
not the "wonderful thing
about Tiggers" button!
9
00:00:16,786 --> 00:00:19,153
Aw.
10
00:00:19,155 --> 00:00:21,055
That's it, we're dead.
11
00:00:21,057 --> 00:00:22,423
Okay, challenge them again.
12
00:00:22,425 --> 00:00:24,392
Doing it right now.
13
00:00:24,394 --> 00:00:25,626
Oh, they can't.
14
00:00:25,628 --> 00:00:29,364
There's an important
Little League game tomorrow.
15
00:00:29,366 --> 00:00:33,167
No wonder they beat us,
they're jocks.
16
00:00:33,169 --> 00:00:34,969
What happened to me?
17
00:00:34,971 --> 00:00:36,871
I used to excel at these things.
18
00:00:36,873 --> 00:00:38,806
Kids are always better
at video games.
19
00:00:38,808 --> 00:00:40,742
Well, I don't like it.
20
00:00:40,744 --> 00:00:43,184
Mm, if it makes you feel better,
you still dress like a child.
21
00:00:44,547 --> 00:00:45,880
No, but it's not
just video games.
22
00:00:45,882 --> 00:00:48,716
I downloaded the new O.S.
for my phone, took me a week
23
00:00:48,718 --> 00:00:52,353
to stop accidentally texting
kissy faces to everyone.
24
00:00:52,355 --> 00:00:55,056
Oh, so our love is not real?
25
00:00:55,058 --> 00:00:57,725
Well, I-I know how you feel.
26
00:00:57,727 --> 00:01:00,328
I tried one of those
electronic Japanese toilets,
27
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:03,631
practically shot myself
across the room.
28
00:01:04,601 --> 00:01:05,967
I guess I just need to face it,
29
00:01:05,969 --> 00:01:07,568
I'm no longer a wunderkind.
30
00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:10,738
Now I just
wonder what's for lunch.
31
00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:11,572
Hot dogs.
32
00:01:11,574 --> 00:01:14,242
Yay.
33
00:01:14,244 --> 00:01:17,879
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
34
00:01:17,881 --> 00:01:21,215
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
35
00:01:21,217 --> 00:01:22,850
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
36
00:01:22,852 --> 00:01:25,386
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
37
00:01:25,388 --> 00:01:28,055
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
38
00:01:28,057 --> 00:01:30,725
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
39
00:01:30,727 --> 00:01:32,627
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
40
00:01:32,629 --> 00:01:33,023
♪ Bang! ♪
41
00:01:33,024 --> 00:01:36,524
♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x22 ♪
The Cognition Regeneration
Original Air Date on April 27, 2017
42
00:01:36,525 --> 00:01:38,525
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
43
00:01:38,526 --> 00:01:40,827
I didn't know you could drink
while you're breastfeeding.
44
00:01:40,829 --> 00:01:43,630
Yeah, they say the yeast in beer
helps with milk production.
45
00:01:43,632 --> 00:01:45,965
I'm pretty sure that's a myth,
let me check.
46
00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:49,035
Ruin it for me and I'll break
this glass over your head.
47
00:01:49,037 --> 00:01:51,504
To denial.
48
00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:54,140
Oh, I'm gonna get another.
49
00:01:54,142 --> 00:01:55,575
You want food?
50
00:01:55,577 --> 00:01:59,012
Yeah, breastfeeding burns, like,
5,000 calories a day.
51
00:01:59,014 --> 00:02:00,780
Do not touch that phone.
52
00:02:04,419 --> 00:02:05,618
Penny?
53
00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:07,820
Oh, Zack. Hey.
54
00:02:07,822 --> 00:02:09,422
What are the odds
of running into you here?
55
00:02:09,424 --> 00:02:12,325
Well, it's a bar,
so pretty good.
56
00:02:12,327 --> 00:02:14,160
Uh, what's new?
57
00:02:14,162 --> 00:02:15,361
Oh, tons of stuff.
58
00:02:15,363 --> 00:02:17,930
Put artificial grass
in my backyard, got engaged,
59
00:02:17,932 --> 00:02:22,268
had a scary mole
that turned out to be Sharpie.
60
00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:23,603
Well, congratulations.
61
00:02:23,605 --> 00:02:25,938
That's what
my dermatologist said.
62
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:28,641
No, on-on getting engaged,
good for you.
63
00:02:28,643 --> 00:02:30,143
Oh, thanks. How about you?
64
00:02:30,145 --> 00:02:31,244
Hey, how's Leonard?
65
00:02:31,246 --> 00:02:32,645
Is he still smart?
66
00:02:33,647 --> 00:02:35,814
Yes, yes, he's working
for the government
67
00:02:35,816 --> 00:02:37,983
on an infinite
persistence gyroscope.
68
00:02:37,985 --> 00:02:39,387
Of course, the first time
I say it right,
69
00:02:39,388 --> 00:02:41,254
he's not even here.
70
00:02:41,256 --> 00:02:42,723
I love that little guy.
71
00:02:42,725 --> 00:02:45,058
Hey, we should
all have dinner sometime.
72
00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:46,960
Uh, yeah, sure,
I'll check with Leonard.
73
00:02:46,962 --> 00:02:49,129
Cool, I'll check with Sara.
74
00:02:49,131 --> 00:02:52,232
Sara, pull up my calendar.
75
00:02:54,036 --> 00:02:56,103
It never works for me.
76
00:02:59,408 --> 00:03:03,376
I've been thinking about
our recent humiliation.
77
00:03:03,378 --> 00:03:05,912
You're gonna
have to be more specific.
78
00:03:05,914 --> 00:03:08,248
At the hands of those teenagers.
79
00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:11,218
More.
80
00:03:12,087 --> 00:03:13,820
Boy teenagers.
81
00:03:13,822 --> 00:03:16,022
Oh, the video game.
Yeah, that was bad.
82
00:03:16,024 --> 00:03:19,760
I started doing some reading
on cognitive vitality,
83
00:03:19,762 --> 00:03:23,997
and I came across an area of
research called "super-aging."
84
00:03:23,999 --> 00:03:25,866
You know who's a super-ager?
Jennifer Lopez.
85
00:03:25,868 --> 00:03:28,135
Like, what is her secret?
86
00:03:28,971 --> 00:03:30,904
Now, this is rare.
87
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:35,075
I don't know which one of you
I want to stop talking first.
88
00:03:35,077 --> 00:03:37,010
The theory
89
00:03:37,012 --> 00:03:38,645
is that if you really tax
your brain,
90
00:03:38,647 --> 00:03:40,580
the neurofibers
will become thicker
91
00:03:40,582 --> 00:03:42,849
and the glial cells
more lustrous.
92
00:03:42,851 --> 00:03:45,152
Like JLo's hair.
93
00:03:45,154 --> 00:03:49,156
Boy, it is neck and
neck right now.
94
00:03:49,158 --> 00:03:50,891
How is super-aging any different
95
00:03:50,893 --> 00:03:52,659
than, like,
doing crossword puzzles?
96
00:03:52,661 --> 00:03:54,628
Well, it's not just doing
simple cognitive tasks.
97
00:03:54,630 --> 00:03:56,763
You need to push your brain
out of its comfort zone
98
00:03:56,765 --> 00:03:58,832
and reach mental exhaustion.
99
00:03:58,834 --> 00:04:00,500
I drive you to work every day,
100
00:04:00,502 --> 00:04:02,536
my brain must look
like the Hulk.
101
00:04:04,006 --> 00:04:05,972
If you really want
to challenge yourself,
102
00:04:05,974 --> 00:04:07,541
you could learn to speak Hindi.
103
00:04:07,543 --> 00:04:11,411
Jab mein aat saal ka
tha Maine seekha tha.
104
00:04:12,648 --> 00:04:14,181
Could you say that in English?
105
00:04:14,183 --> 00:04:16,116
I actually, I never
learned Hindi.
106
00:04:19,121 --> 00:04:21,054
Hey, you ready to go?
107
00:04:21,056 --> 00:04:22,622
Yeah, I guess.
108
00:04:22,624 --> 00:04:24,391
What's the matter?
109
00:04:24,393 --> 00:04:26,359
Honestly? It's a little strange
110
00:04:26,361 --> 00:04:27,861
having dinner
with your ex-boyfriend,
111
00:04:27,863 --> 00:04:30,030
and it's not like
we have a lot to talk about.
112
00:04:30,032 --> 00:04:31,832
What? He loves you, okay?
113
00:04:31,834 --> 00:04:33,200
And he's interested
in your work.
114
00:04:33,202 --> 00:04:36,636
You could talk about
the infinite perspective...
115
00:04:36,638 --> 00:04:39,139
I swear I know it.
116
00:04:39,141 --> 00:04:41,174
It'll be fine, let's just go.
117
00:04:41,176 --> 00:04:42,976
Well, and his fiancée will
be there, so you know,
118
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:45,545
if the conversation lags, we
can talk about their wedding.
119
00:04:46,849 --> 00:04:48,448
Come on, I spent
an entire plane ride
120
00:04:48,450 --> 00:04:50,784
with you talking about
the trailer for Deadpool 2.
121
00:04:50,786 --> 00:04:53,153
Ha! I knew you weren't asleep.
122
00:04:54,823 --> 00:04:55,956
Hey, guys.
123
00:04:55,958 --> 00:04:57,791
Hi.
Hi. Hey, where's your fiancée?
124
00:04:57,793 --> 00:05:00,160
Oh, she couldn't make it.
She had an emergency.
125
00:05:00,162 --> 00:05:01,494
Oh, no, what happened?
126
00:05:01,496 --> 00:05:04,164
I didn't ask.
127
00:05:06,802 --> 00:05:08,168
Hey.
128
00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:09,536
- Hey.
- Hey.
129
00:05:09,538 --> 00:05:11,304
What smells so good?
130
00:05:11,306 --> 00:05:13,506
Raj is teaching me
to make croissants.
131
00:05:13,508 --> 00:05:15,942
Is this part
of your super-aging?
132
00:05:15,944 --> 00:05:18,345
Yes. Yeah, it seemed
daunting at first,
133
00:05:18,347 --> 00:05:19,479
but then I realized,
134
00:05:19,481 --> 00:05:22,148
it's like the chemistry set
I had as a kid.
135
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:23,149
Only, when your brother
eats this,
136
00:05:23,151 --> 00:05:25,185
no one has to call
Poison Control.
137
00:05:25,187 --> 00:05:26,753
Okay.
138
00:05:26,755 --> 00:05:28,688
Shall we?
139
00:05:32,094 --> 00:05:33,960
Oh, my God.
140
00:05:33,962 --> 00:05:38,331
It's light, it's
flaky, it's buttery.
141
00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:41,568
You don't need to have sex with
him, just eat one of these.
142
00:05:42,771 --> 00:05:44,671
Yes, it is delicious.
143
00:05:44,673 --> 00:05:47,173
Wha... Physicist,
baker, lover,
144
00:05:47,175 --> 00:05:48,375
what can't I do?
145
00:05:48,377 --> 00:05:51,645
Well, clearly mental
tasks are not enough.
146
00:05:51,647 --> 00:05:53,747
Maybe you need to challenge
your motor skills.
147
00:05:53,749 --> 00:05:56,783
For the last time, I am not
having a tickle fight with you.
148
00:05:58,220 --> 00:05:59,419
You want a real challenge,
149
00:05:59,421 --> 00:06:02,489
try keeping me from
eating more of these.
150
00:06:02,491 --> 00:06:04,925
You're just using food
151
00:06:04,927 --> 00:06:06,793
to mask the fear that
you're fundamentally unlovable
152
00:06:06,795 --> 00:06:09,963
and therefore
going to be alone forever.
153
00:06:09,965 --> 00:06:12,899
Damn it, he's good at that, too.
154
00:06:16,171 --> 00:06:17,704
Thanks.
155
00:06:17,706 --> 00:06:20,106
Wow, working on a top secret
government project,
156
00:06:20,108 --> 00:06:22,409
that is so cool.
Aw.
157
00:06:22,411 --> 00:06:25,211
Do you have a bodyguard
to keep spies away?
158
00:06:25,213 --> 00:06:28,548
I have Sheldon,
that keeps most people away.
159
00:06:29,851 --> 00:06:30,984
I miss that guy.
160
00:06:30,986 --> 00:06:32,986
He's like
the Swedish Chef Muppet.
161
00:06:32,988 --> 00:06:35,722
I don't know what he's saying,
but he's funny.
162
00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:39,693
Oh, I know what he's saying,
and he's not, he's not funny.
163
00:06:39,695 --> 00:06:41,795
So, Penny,
what's going on with you?
164
00:06:41,797 --> 00:06:43,630
How's the job?
165
00:06:43,632 --> 00:06:45,665
Uh, it's okay, I'm still
in pharmaceutical sales.
166
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,000
She's doing amazing.
167
00:06:47,002 --> 00:06:48,802
She can actually make
a side effect,
168
00:06:48,804 --> 00:06:50,937
like 10% chance
of liver failure,
169
00:06:50,939 --> 00:06:54,975
sound like a 90% chance
of liver success.
170
00:06:54,977 --> 00:06:57,544
Yeah, lying isn't
my favorite part of the job.
171
00:06:57,546 --> 00:07:00,146
Actually, I'm not crazy
about a lot of it.
172
00:07:00,148 --> 00:07:01,114
Hey, if you're not happy there,
I've been looking
173
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,782
for a new head of sales
at my company.
174
00:07:02,784 --> 00:07:05,185
And we don't sell drugs,
just menus,
175
00:07:05,187 --> 00:07:06,419
so the only lie
you'll be telling
176
00:07:06,421 --> 00:07:08,588
is we print on recycled paper.
177
00:07:10,525 --> 00:07:12,759
We don't.
178
00:07:13,695 --> 00:07:15,962
Oh, that's a nice offer.
179
00:07:15,964 --> 00:07:17,230
You know,
we'd make a great team.
180
00:07:17,232 --> 00:07:19,399
Or as we say
in the menu business,
181
00:07:19,401 --> 00:07:22,569
I can't do this
without "Me N U."
182
00:07:23,472 --> 00:07:26,439
Right, 'cause it spells "menu."
183
00:07:26,441 --> 00:07:28,608
Yeah, right? It's funny.
I got a lot of menu jokes,
184
00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:30,510
but that's my favorite.
185
00:07:33,348 --> 00:07:36,950
All right, this is everything.
186
00:07:36,952 --> 00:07:38,485
What do you want to learn?
187
00:07:38,487 --> 00:07:41,054
It really doesn't matter,
as long as it's challenging.
188
00:07:41,056 --> 00:07:45,058
Okay, well, how about,
oh, I teach you
189
00:07:45,060 --> 00:07:48,495
some close-up... magic.
190
00:07:48,497 --> 00:07:51,431
Howard, I'm trying
to make myself uncomfortable,
191
00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:53,133
not everyone else.
192
00:07:54,536 --> 00:07:56,569
So you wanted to learn
something physical
193
00:07:56,571 --> 00:07:58,872
and you came
to Howard Wolowitz?
194
00:07:59,875 --> 00:08:01,941
Hey, the circus arts
195
00:08:01,943 --> 00:08:04,644
are very physically
and mentally demanding.
196
00:08:04,646 --> 00:08:06,446
Have you ever tried to juggle?
197
00:08:06,448 --> 00:08:08,014
Yes, I'm juggling
my love for you
198
00:08:08,016 --> 00:08:10,650
and my embarrassment of you
right now.
199
00:08:10,652 --> 00:08:14,521
And it's hard, isn't it?
200
00:08:16,024 --> 00:08:18,024
So the key is,
201
00:08:18,026 --> 00:08:20,627
the moment one ball
is at the top of its arc,
202
00:08:20,629 --> 00:08:22,462
you toss the next one.
203
00:08:22,464 --> 00:08:24,497
Hmm?
Okay, I think I got that.
204
00:08:24,499 --> 00:08:26,099
Uh, h-hold on.
205
00:08:26,101 --> 00:08:29,235
There's a, an old saying
in juggling.
206
00:08:29,237 --> 00:08:31,204
Is it "I'm going to die alone"?
207
00:08:34,076 --> 00:08:37,944
No, it's "if you want
to have fun, start with one."
208
00:08:38,713 --> 00:08:40,447
Yours we think,
but we do not say.
209
00:08:41,550 --> 00:08:43,983
All right, just toss it up
and catch it a few times,
210
00:08:43,985 --> 00:08:45,018
get comfortable with it.
211
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:46,386
Okay.
212
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:53,126
Just to be on the safe side,
213
00:08:53,128 --> 00:08:56,296
am I in any danger of
getting juggler's elbow?
214
00:08:56,298 --> 00:08:58,164
No.
215
00:08:58,166 --> 00:09:02,836
Are you sure? 'Cause
I'm feeling a twinge.
216
00:09:04,072 --> 00:09:05,638
See, that wasn't so bad.
217
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:06,806
He even picked up the check.
218
00:09:06,808 --> 00:09:08,007
Yeah.
219
00:09:08,009 --> 00:09:09,609
Although, when he was trying
to figure out the tip,
220
00:09:09,611 --> 00:09:11,644
I'm pretty sure I saw smoke
coming out of his ears.
221
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,716
You're not really considering
working for him, are you?
222
00:09:16,718 --> 00:09:19,452
Well, maybe, I mean, it
seems kind of perfect.
223
00:09:19,454 --> 00:09:21,121
I have sales experience,
224
00:09:21,123 --> 00:09:23,123
and I've been a waitress,
so I have restaurant experience,
225
00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:25,558
and if he's figuring out
my Christmas bonus,
226
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,360
we could buy a boat.
227
00:09:27,362 --> 00:09:30,230
Don't you think it might
be a little weird
228
00:09:30,232 --> 00:09:32,265
to work for someone
you used to date?
229
00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:36,136
You work with Sheldon,
you tell me.
230
00:09:36,138 --> 00:09:39,672
Yeah, it's weird.
231
00:09:43,078 --> 00:09:46,212
Okay, are you seriously jealous
of me working with Zack?
232
00:09:46,214 --> 00:09:47,914
No, no, I-I'm not jealous,
I just think
233
00:09:47,916 --> 00:09:50,183
you have got a good thing
going where you are right now,
234
00:09:50,185 --> 00:09:51,451
and you make
great money
235
00:09:51,453 --> 00:09:53,253
and you haven't slept
with any of your coworkers.
236
00:09:53,255 --> 00:09:57,757
Great, so you want me to stay
at a job I'm not happy at?
237
00:09:57,759 --> 00:09:59,359
Uh...
238
00:09:59,361 --> 00:10:00,693
You okay?
239
00:10:00,695 --> 00:10:04,097
You kind of look like Zack
trying to figure out that tip.
240
00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:08,234
Of course I don't want
you to be unhappy,
241
00:10:08,236 --> 00:10:09,869
but I also want
you to be smart,
242
00:10:09,871 --> 00:10:12,639
and working for an ex-boyfriend
isn't very smart.
243
00:10:14,843 --> 00:10:16,963
You don't have to stop,
just slow down, I'll jump out.
244
00:10:22,035 --> 00:10:24,202
Amy, look,
I'm on a unicycle!
245
00:10:25,705 --> 00:10:29,841
How did you get
from croissants to a unicycle?
246
00:10:29,843 --> 00:10:32,043
I hurt myself juggling.
247
00:10:32,812 --> 00:10:34,579
Where did
you get it?
248
00:10:34,581 --> 00:10:35,847
Howard said
I could borrow it,
249
00:10:35,849 --> 00:10:38,650
Bernadette said forever.
250
00:10:38,652 --> 00:10:41,052
Have you tried
letting go of the rope?
251
00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:44,188
What, are you crazy?
I'm on a unicycle.
252
00:10:44,190 --> 00:10:46,491
All right, well, have fun.
253
00:10:46,493 --> 00:10:48,293
Wait, I need help
getting down.
254
00:10:48,295 --> 00:10:50,495
Well, what do you want me to do?
255
00:10:50,497 --> 00:10:51,796
Drag out our mattress
and put it over here,
256
00:10:51,798 --> 00:10:53,298
then go across the hall,
get their mattress
257
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:54,332
and put it over here.
258
00:10:54,334 --> 00:10:55,900
But before you
do any of that,
259
00:10:55,902 --> 00:10:57,669
scratch my nose.
260
00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:04,208
So you told her
she was being dumb?
261
00:11:04,210 --> 00:11:08,079
No, I told her she was
being not smart.
262
00:11:08,848 --> 00:11:11,716
Which was dumb.
263
00:11:11,718 --> 00:11:14,385
Why did you even go
to dinner with the guy?
264
00:11:14,387 --> 00:11:16,554
We covered this, I'm dumb.
265
00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:20,425
So he's my ex-boyfriend,
who cares?
266
00:11:20,427 --> 00:11:22,393
I can't believe Leonard
would be so insecure.
267
00:11:22,395 --> 00:11:23,628
Really?
268
00:11:23,630 --> 00:11:26,497
I have no trouble
believing that at all.
269
00:11:26,499 --> 00:11:28,199
And Zack's engaged.
270
00:11:28,201 --> 00:11:30,201
Leonard has no reason
to feel threatened.
271
00:11:30,203 --> 00:11:33,104
We're talking about
the same Leonard, right?
272
00:11:34,674 --> 00:11:37,208
So you think it's fine
if she works for Zack?
273
00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:38,810
I don't know, maybe.
274
00:11:38,812 --> 00:11:41,679
Well, he is much more
attractive than Leonard.
275
00:11:42,549 --> 00:11:43,948
Yes,
276
00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:47,585
but that's gonna be true of
a lot of guys she works for.
277
00:11:48,989 --> 00:11:51,522
Yeah, but she also
used to sleep with Zack.
278
00:11:52,325 --> 00:11:53,858
Again...
279
00:11:56,429 --> 00:11:58,496
I would never let Howard
work with an ex.
280
00:11:58,498 --> 00:11:59,564
What, you wouldn't trust him?
281
00:11:59,566 --> 00:12:01,199
I wouldn't trust her.
282
00:12:01,201 --> 00:12:05,036
He's thin and sexy
like a Jewish greyhound.
283
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:10,174
Yeah, that-that is
the sexiest dog.
284
00:12:11,378 --> 00:12:12,844
And I'd like to think
Howie wouldn't take a job
285
00:12:12,846 --> 00:12:14,112
I was uncomfortable with.
286
00:12:14,114 --> 00:12:15,513
'Cause he's scared of you?
Terrified.
287
00:12:15,515 --> 00:12:16,714
Yeah.
288
00:12:17,884 --> 00:12:19,851
You know what? I'm with
Leonard, this isn't cool.
289
00:12:19,853 --> 00:12:21,252
Thank you.
290
00:12:21,254 --> 00:12:22,387
I disagree.
291
00:12:22,389 --> 00:12:24,589
Penny is a strong,
independent woman.
292
00:12:24,591 --> 00:12:26,958
The more you try to control her,
the more she'll push back.
293
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,393
So you think it's okay?
294
00:12:28,395 --> 00:12:30,094
Oh, no, she's gonna leave you
for someone,
295
00:12:30,096 --> 00:12:32,230
might as well
get it over with.
296
00:12:37,404 --> 00:12:38,703
What are you doing?
297
00:12:38,705 --> 00:12:40,938
I'm returning this stuff
to Howard.
298
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:42,306
Oh.
299
00:12:42,308 --> 00:12:44,308
Well, Bernadette made me
promise if you didn't want it,
300
00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:46,911
we'd give it
to a homeless clown.
301
00:12:49,015 --> 00:12:50,948
What happened to
learning the unicycle?
302
00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:52,684
Oh, I stopped that,
it was dumb.
303
00:12:52,686 --> 00:12:58,289
Uni, bi, tri, menstrual,
all cycles are dumb.
304
00:12:58,291 --> 00:13:00,258
You said juggling was dumb, too.
305
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:01,859
Well, it is.
306
00:13:01,861 --> 00:13:05,063
If I wanted to hold three things
at once, I'd wear cargo pants.
307
00:13:05,065 --> 00:13:06,798
Sheldon, is it possible that
308
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,802
when things get really
difficult, you just give up?
309
00:13:10,804 --> 00:13:13,171
Are you calling me a quitter?
310
00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:15,039
Well, if you honestly...
311
00:13:15,041 --> 00:13:16,307
This conversation
is over.
312
00:13:21,114 --> 00:13:22,580
His mother warned me.
313
00:13:23,416 --> 00:13:25,016
Everybody warned me.
314
00:13:26,853 --> 00:13:28,352
Actually, he warned me.
315
00:13:33,159 --> 00:13:35,727
Hey.
Hi.
316
00:13:35,729 --> 00:13:36,828
You want to talk?
317
00:13:36,830 --> 00:13:40,298
That doesn't seem to be
where I shine.
318
00:13:41,601 --> 00:13:43,735
How about I just give you
one of these?
319
00:13:44,938 --> 00:13:47,238
Look, we can have a
reasonable conversation
320
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:48,506
and I won't get mad.
321
00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:54,612
I don't like it after sex,
and I don't like it now.
322
00:13:59,152 --> 00:14:01,385
Yeah, sorry.
Yeah.
323
00:14:01,387 --> 00:14:02,787
All right,
just come here.
324
00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:05,790
Look, I get me working
with Zack is weird
325
00:14:05,792 --> 00:14:07,425
and I don't want you
to be uncomfortable.
326
00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:08,993
Well, thanks.
327
00:14:08,995 --> 00:14:11,496
And I don't want you to be
stuck at a job you don't like.
328
00:14:11,498 --> 00:14:12,897
Then what do we do?
329
00:14:12,899 --> 00:14:14,432
Well, I don't love it,
but if you really want
330
00:14:14,434 --> 00:14:16,567
to take this job, I'll find
a way to deal with it.
331
00:14:16,569 --> 00:14:19,070
No, I know you'll try,
but it'll make you miserable,
332
00:14:19,072 --> 00:14:20,938
which will make me
miserable, and...
333
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:22,940
I'm just gonna stay
where I'm at for now.
334
00:14:22,942 --> 00:14:24,375
No, no, no, no,
you're-you're unhappy there
335
00:14:24,377 --> 00:14:26,511
and then you're gonna blame
me for making you stay,
336
00:14:26,513 --> 00:14:28,679
and it's fine, I'll
just-- I'll suck it up.
337
00:14:28,681 --> 00:14:30,481
You don't need to do that,
it's okay.
338
00:14:30,483 --> 00:14:32,483
Yeah, see, now I feel terrible,
339
00:14:32,485 --> 00:14:35,353
like I'm being selfish
and holding you back.
340
00:14:39,392 --> 00:14:41,192
What? Say something.
341
00:14:45,465 --> 00:14:46,964
Yeah, that is pretty annoying.
342
00:14:51,271 --> 00:14:52,270
I made you tea.
343
00:14:52,272 --> 00:14:53,871
Thank you.
344
00:14:53,873 --> 00:14:55,706
I'm sorry I called you
a quitter.
345
00:14:55,708 --> 00:14:59,043
It's okay, I stopped being
upset about that.
346
00:14:59,045 --> 00:15:01,913
And no, the irony
is not lost on me.
347
00:15:02,882 --> 00:15:04,282
What are you reading?
348
00:15:04,284 --> 00:15:06,350
This article says the
peak age for making
349
00:15:06,352 --> 00:15:08,586
a Nobel Prize-winning
discovery is 40.
350
00:15:08,588 --> 00:15:09,587
So?
351
00:15:09,589 --> 00:15:11,956
So I'm running out of time.
352
00:15:11,958 --> 00:15:14,892
That's ridiculous,
you're a brilliant man.
353
00:15:14,894 --> 00:15:17,428
The best years of your life
are still ahead of you.
354
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:20,898
Oh, you have to say that,
you're sweet on me.
355
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:22,567
Well, if you're really
worried about your career,
356
00:15:22,569 --> 00:15:25,002
maybe you should consider
spending a little less time
357
00:15:25,004 --> 00:15:26,938
with video games
and comic books.
358
00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:28,339
Hey!
359
00:15:28,341 --> 00:15:30,808
I thought you were sweet on me.
360
00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:34,145
Okay, fine, let's say you
never win a Nobel Prize.
361
00:15:34,147 --> 00:15:37,048
Let's say you spend your life
doing solid scientific research
362
00:15:37,050 --> 00:15:38,482
surrounded by
friends and loved ones
363
00:15:38,484 --> 00:15:40,284
who appreciate you,
364
00:15:40,286 --> 00:15:44,088
not for what you've accomplished
but for who you are as a man.
365
00:15:44,090 --> 00:15:46,457
Wouldn't that be
a life well-lived?
366
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:48,826
You're so cute.
367
00:15:50,029 --> 00:15:52,196
I'm gonna go learn
how to walk on stilts.
368
00:15:55,768 --> 00:15:56,968
So many warnings.
369
00:16:00,874 --> 00:16:02,206
Okay, are you sure
about this?
370
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:04,242
Absolutely. I just
want you to be happy.
371
00:16:04,244 --> 00:16:07,478
And maybe a little turned on
about how selfless I'm being.
372
00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:11,749
Penny, what's up?
373
00:16:11,751 --> 00:16:14,619
Hey, uh, so I've been
thinking about it
374
00:16:14,621 --> 00:16:16,320
and I want to take the job.
375
00:16:16,322 --> 00:16:18,356
Oh, bad news.
376
00:16:18,358 --> 00:16:20,625
When my fiancée found out
that I was offering a job
377
00:16:20,627 --> 00:16:23,227
to my ex-girlfriend,
she said it was a stupid idea
378
00:16:23,229 --> 00:16:25,563
and threw a shoe at me.
379
00:16:26,432 --> 00:16:28,966
Oh, so
there's no job?
380
00:16:28,968 --> 00:16:32,837
Nope, just a little bump
on my forehead.
381
00:16:32,839 --> 00:16:34,405
Okay, thanks anyway.
382
00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:35,773
By
383
00:16:36,609 --> 00:16:38,409
Well, his
fiancée thought
384
00:16:38,411 --> 00:16:40,912
the idea of us working
together was stupid.
385
00:16:40,914 --> 00:16:42,880
You were right, I was wrong.
386
00:16:48,588 --> 00:16:49,620
Aren't you gonna say anything?
387
00:16:49,622 --> 00:16:51,756
Not if I want to be
doing this later.
388
00:16:57,830 --> 00:16:59,297
Hey, I didn't know
you were home.
389
00:16:59,299 --> 00:17:00,398
Where you been?
390
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,667
I went to
see your mom.
391
00:17:02,669 --> 00:17:04,135
Seriously,
where were you?
392
00:17:04,137 --> 00:17:06,537
I just told you, your mom's.
393
00:17:06,539 --> 00:17:08,039
Why?
394
00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:11,475
Well, since you find my magic
tricks so embarrassing,
395
00:17:11,477 --> 00:17:12,977
I got to wondering
396
00:17:12,979 --> 00:17:16,213
what cool hobbies
you had as a kid.
397
00:17:16,215 --> 00:17:18,115
Oh.
398
00:17:18,117 --> 00:17:20,785
What'd she say?
399
00:17:20,787 --> 00:17:22,687
She didn't say much of anything.
400
00:17:22,689 --> 00:17:24,555
But she said a lot!
401
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,294
Hi, Bernadette, remember me?
402
00:17:32,665 --> 00:17:34,699
First of all, that's not
what she sounds like,
403
00:17:34,701 --> 00:17:37,234
she's from South Carolina.
404
00:17:37,236 --> 00:17:39,804
I can't believe
you made fun of me
405
00:17:39,806 --> 00:17:44,141
all these years while you
were a closeted ventriloquist.
406
00:17:44,143 --> 00:17:48,045
Okay, it's not like I wanted
to be a ventriloquist.
407
00:17:48,047 --> 00:17:50,481
I was in beauty pageants
and I needed a talent
408
00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:51,515
besides spreading rumors
409
00:17:51,517 --> 00:17:54,051
that the other contestants
were pregnant.
410
00:17:54,053 --> 00:17:56,620
Well, since you enjoyed
411
00:17:56,622 --> 00:17:58,289
getting rid of all my stuff,
you know,
412
00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:00,658
maybe we should throw this
little lady in the wood chipper.
413
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:01,959
No!
414
00:18:01,961 --> 00:18:03,995
And the little lady has a name.
415
00:18:03,997 --> 00:18:05,863
Which is?
416
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:10,801
Tammy Jo St. Cloud.
417
00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:14,338
"Tammy Jo St. Cloud."
418
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:16,207
Oh, and I'm a dork for juggling.
419
00:18:16,209 --> 00:18:18,743
Sorry, you're
not a dork.
420
00:18:18,745 --> 00:18:21,512
You're a clown.
421
00:18:22,682 --> 00:18:24,148
Tammy Jo, don't say that,
422
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,383
you'll make him feel bad.
423
00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:27,318
Look at him,
424
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,187
what reason he got to feel good?
425
00:18:31,024 --> 00:18:33,457
All right, very funny.
426
00:18:33,459 --> 00:18:34,525
Don't listen to her,
427
00:18:34,527 --> 00:18:35,793
she's been in a box
for, like, 25 years.
428
00:18:36,763 --> 00:18:38,195
Yeah, back when his haircut
429
00:18:38,197 --> 00:18:41,032
was fashionable.
430
00:18:42,435 --> 00:18:43,701
That's enough, put her away.
431
00:18:43,703 --> 00:18:45,302
Oh, big daddy,
432
00:18:45,304 --> 00:18:46,604
I don't think so.
433
00:18:46,606 --> 00:18:49,407
You marry Miss Bernie,
you marry me.
434
00:18:50,610 --> 00:18:53,878
We all family now.
435
00:18:54,714 --> 00:18:56,414
All right,
you're freaking me out.
436
00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:57,948
Don't be that way.
437
00:18:57,950 --> 00:18:59,383
If you don't mind
a few splinters,
438
00:18:59,385 --> 00:19:01,552
we can have us a ménage à trois.
439
00:19:01,554 --> 00:19:02,753
Ooh!
440
00:19:08,585 --> 00:19:10,785
I'm doing it.
441
00:19:10,787 --> 00:19:12,720
I'm doing it.
442
00:19:12,722 --> 00:19:17,158
I'm tall and
I'm doing it!
443
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,410
Ah, man.
444
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:29,879
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man