1
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Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...

2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,094
Can you believe our little lamb
is finally getting married?

3
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:10,010
He can't believe it.

4
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,186
And neither can I.

5
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[laughing]Hi, Dad. How you doing?

6
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[voice breaking]: Then by
the power vested in me...

7
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:23,327
by
EvenYouCanPerformWeddings.com...

8
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,679
...I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

9
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You may kiss the bride.

10
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[crowd cheering]

11
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Good morning, wife.

12
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[chuckles]

13
00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:44,435
Good morning, husband.

14
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I can't believe
we're actually married.

15
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It's official.
According to tradition,

16
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we should hang
the bedsheets outside

17
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so the villagers can see
that we consummated.

18
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,751
I don't think that
that's appropriate,

19
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:58,101
considering where we're
starting our honeymoon.

20
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,147
Well, I suppose you're right.

21
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,673
Although,
when you think about it,

22
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Lego is the perfect metaphor
for marital congress.

23
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Two pieces that interlock
with a satisfying snap.

24
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Oh, that'sthe sound
you were making.

25
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Oh, I almost forgot.

26
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:20,776
While you were sleeping,
I ordered room service.

27
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Really?

28
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Voilà!

29
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You thought it was going
to be food, didn't you?

30
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

31
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♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

32
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♪ The Earth began to cool

33
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♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

34
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♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids♪

35
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♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

36
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♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

37
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♪ Bang!♪

38
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Is it nice having Sheldon and
Amy away on their honeymoon?

39
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Yeah, because now Leonard and
I get all this alone time.

40
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But you're not alone.
We're here.

41
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Yes. [sighs]
Yes, you are.

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BERNADETTE:
Would you like us to leave so
you and Leonard can talk about

43
00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:12,088
all the things
you have in common?

44
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LEONARD: Ha, ha, she
called your bluff.

45
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KOOTHRAPPALI: So, something
pretty cool happened.

46
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,922
Channel 3 asked me to be
on the news tomorrow night

47
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to talk about
the meteor shower.

48
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Oh, that's great.
Hey!
Congratulations.

49
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:25,145
You know, that's how Neil
deGrasse Tyson got his start.

50
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He went from the
Hayden Planetarium

51
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to guesting on
the local news

52
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to ruining everyone's
favorite movies on the Internet.

53
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KOOTHRAPPALI:
Now it's happening to me.

54
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Ooh, I should probably
make a list

55
00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:39,202
of all the scientific
inaccuracies in Mamma Mia 2.

56
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You're gonna go on live TV and
admit you've seen that movie?

57
00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:44,294
Hey, your husband's
the one who took me.

58
00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:48,603
Meryl Streep andCher?
Yeah, I saw it.

59
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[loud noise]

60
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Sounds like
someone's in there.

61
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My God, what if Sheldon
and Amy are getting robbed?

62
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Or worse, what if
they're back early?

63
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They're not; they
just posted a picture

64
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in front of the
Statue of Liberty.

65
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Real or Lego?
Lego.

66
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So, what should we do?
Should someone go check it out?

67
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I would, but I got to
be on TV tomorrow.

68
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Got to protect the money.

69
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Oh, yeah, someone's
definitely in there.

70
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,676
Okay, let's go into
our apartment.

71
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We'll lock the door,
we'll call the pol...

72
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Hello?! Anyone in there?!

73
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,467
Yes?
Oh, uh, Mr. Fowler.

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Sorry, we didn't
know you were here.

75
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We-we actually thought someone
was breaking in. [chuckles]

76
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And we were ready
to take them down.

77
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Amy asked me
to water her plants.

78
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She doesn't have
any plants.

79
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Oh.

80
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Well, you caught me
in a lie.

81
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Have a good day.

82
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That was weird, right?

83
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Was it?
I-I honestly can't tell anymore.

84
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Hey, did you even see
Mamma Mia 1?

85
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Didn't need to.
The sequel stands on its own.

86
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Here you go.

87
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If you need any recommendations
while visiting New York,

88
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please don't hesitate
to contact me.

89
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Well, it is our honeymoon.

90
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So we are going
to be quite busy.

91
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Got it.

92
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Harry Potterplay,
parts one and two.

93
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And tomorrow,
a tour of the sites

94
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where Nikola Tesla lived,
worked and slowly went crazy.

95
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And, of course, coitus.

96
00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:40,541
Ah.

97
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:43,457
Well, enjoy New York.
And, I guess, coitus.

98
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Really, Sheldon?

99
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You want to do it again?

100
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,163
Don't act surprised.

101
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It's clearly marked
on the schedule.

102
00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:57,601
Now,

103
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shall we steam the wrinkles
out of our wizard robes,

104
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:03,868
or make vigorous,
socially sanctioned love?

105
00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:06,741
Either way, I can check
something off my to-do list.

106
00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:09,787
Socially sanc-- Oh, wow.
Yeah, there it is right there.

107
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:15,140
Uh, hurry.
Raj is on next.

108
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All right. I can't believe
they canceled Vampire Diaries

109
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but they'll show this.

110
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This is the news.

111
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And that was a woman torn
between two hunky vampires.

112
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What is your point?

113
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[pounding on door across hall]

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MRS. FOWLER:
Larry? I know you're in there!

115
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Is that Amy's mom?

116
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MRS. FOWLER:
Let me in.

117
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[shouting]:
Let me in!

118
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Either that or the Big Bad Wolf.

119
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Larry?

120
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Mrs. Fowler,
are you okay?

121
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Oh, I'm okay. It's my husband
you should worry about.

122
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Oh, we do.

123
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[knocks]

124
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Larry, come on.

125
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I don't think he's in there.

126
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I mean, he came by to water
the imaginary plants,

127
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but then he left.

128
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You are so naive.

129
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:11,283
Blondie here is gonna
chew you up and spit you out.

130
00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:14,461
Well, don't tell him.

131
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Come on, you have an extra key.
Open it up.

132
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All right,
but I'm telling you

133
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he's not in there.

134
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There. See?

135
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Oh, he's in here.

136
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I can smell his Axe body spray.

137
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He wears Axe body spray.

138
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:36,918
You happy? You smell
like Amy's dad.

139
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:41,618
Larry?
Ooh, come on.

140
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:44,055
Ah, shouldn't we mind
our own business?

141
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:46,971
Wow, sometimes it's like
you don't know me at all.

142
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See, he's not here.

143
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You don't know him
like I do.

144
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To be fair, we don't
know either of you.

145
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Satisfied?

146
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,950
Oh, yeah, now I smell him.

147
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Man, that is one
hot weather girl.

148
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How come if I say that
I get in trouble?

149
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:22,006
You want to say it?
You can say it.

150
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Nice try.

151
00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:32,452
You're gonna have to find
some other way

152
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:34,932
to not have sex
with me tonight.

153
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:37,413
And it's not weather girl,
it's weather woman.

154
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[scoffs]

155
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And with us today
to talk about

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the upcoming meteor shower and
the best places to view it,

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Caltech astrophysicist
Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali.

158
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Thank you for being here.Thank you for having me.

159
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I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson
was unavailable.

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[laughs]
Yeah.

161
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What do you mean, "yeah"?

162
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Not important.

163
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:03,178
So, what can we expect
to see from

164
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this meteor shower?

165
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:07,487
Well, I think you can count
on a lot of flaming gas,

166
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:08,966
which is what
you would have gotten

167
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:12,100
from your first choice,
Neil deGrasse Tyson.

168
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:15,364
Pull up, Raj, pull up!

169
00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:19,324
Sounds like there's no love lost
between you and Dr. Tyson.

170
00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,283
Oh, no, I love Neil.

171
00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:24,155
I mean, not as much as Neil
loves Neil, but who does, right?

172
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:25,635
[chuckling]

173
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:29,813
I want to look away,
but I can't.

174
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,816
Oh, you know, I'm told we
are out of time, [chuckles]

175
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:35,819
having learned nothing
about meteor showers

176
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:39,083
and too much about
Dr. Koothrappali.

177
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:41,695
Thank you.

178
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,180
Do you know what I love
about Broadway theater?

179
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,139
It's so interactive.

180
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,010
Uh-huh.

181
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,839
You're so close to the actors.
It's like you're in the play.

182
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,319
Uh-huh.

183
00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:58,712
I mean, you yell,
"Harry, watch out,"

184
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he looks right at you.

185
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:03,630
And not just Harry,
everyone onstage.

186
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:07,503
At the risk of sounding
redundant, uh-huh.

187
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,461
All right, well,
it's a bit late,

188
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:11,333
but I did block out
the rest of the evening

189
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:12,464
for conjugal relations.

190
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:14,292
Should we shower?

191
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,816
I mean before, not during.

192
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:18,296
That's how you fall
and break a hip.

193
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,515
You know,
I'm a little jet-laggy.

194
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,517
Maybe we can revisit this
in the morning.

195
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,650
Oh, no can do.
If we miss tonight,

196
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,695
it's not scheduled
until Thursday at 6:00.

197
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,610
And that'll have
to be "no frills,"

198
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,308
'cause we've got a 6:30
reservation at Benihana.

199
00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:33,660
Sheldon, do we really
have to do this on a schedule?

200
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:36,619
Are you suggesting spontaneity?

201
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,882
I-I guess, yeah.

202
00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:42,364
So, now that we're married,
sex can occur at any time?

203
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,148
Like, we can be
brushing our teeth,

204
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:46,281
and suddenly your minty-fresh
tongue is in my mouth?

205
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:47,674
No, thank you.

206
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:50,633
Really? Would it be so bad
to mix it up a little?

207
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,940
Mix it up?
Who are you, Betty Crocker?

208
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:55,203
Where are you going?

209
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,683
Uh, to take a shower.

210
00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:58,641
Now that sex can happen
at any time,

211
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,730
I always have to be ready.

212
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:03,298
Should probably live
under a waterfall.

213
00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:05,343
Well, you don't have to worry
about sex happening tonight.

214
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:08,520
Oh. Well, thanks,
but I'm still gonna rinse off.

215
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,958
I touched a lot of stuff
in the gift shop.

216
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:17,573
No message, no note.
Who would do that?

217
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,792
What kind of
husband would...

218
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,794
If you let him talk,
maybe you'll find out.

219
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:23,840
Fine. Larry?

220
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,151
Well, there you go.
What more can he say?

221
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:31,326
Let's go home.

222
00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:34,372
I think I'll stay.

223
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:38,072
Well, if you're going to stay,
then I'll stay.

224
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:40,378
All right, well, you know
who doesn't need to stay?

225
00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:41,597
Us. Come on.

226
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,994
Penny, come on.

227
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,125
Aw.

228
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:56,003
I don't think those two
are gonna make it.

229
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,709
Poor Mr. Fowler, I really feel
sorry for the little guy.

230
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,624
I know. After they had Amy,

231
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,801
she should've just eaten him
and been done with it.

232
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:15,979
Look at you retaining facts
from a nature show. [chuckles]

233
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:19,026
I know, really,
what did he ever see in her?

234
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:21,593
He's so, so sweet, and
she's such a ballbuster.

235
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:24,205
Some guys think
strong women are sexy.

236
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,989
Yeah, but they seem to have
nothing in common.

237
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:30,298
Yeah, well, sometimes
opposites attract.

238
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:34,302
Wait, are-are you saying
we are like them?

239
00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:37,087
I don't know, maybe a little.

240
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:41,875
So you're the sweet, quiet one
and I'm Amy's mom?

241
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,268
Is that what you're saying?

242
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:56,541
Hey, check out what Neil
deGrasse Tyson just tweeted.

243
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,282
"I've been informed
that some random,

244
00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,631
attention-seeking nobody

245
00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:02,460
took a cheap shot at me
on the local news."

246
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:06,203
That's me.
Guys, he's talking about me!

247
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,075
You know, I cut you
a lot of slack

248
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,511
'cause you come
from another country,

249
00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:12,340
but you've been here
a long time.

250
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,822
Raj, you need to apologize
to Dr. Tyson.

251
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:18,085
Why? This could be good for me.

252
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:20,478
Everybody loves
a good Twitter feud.

253
00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:21,741
Neil and I
could be like

254
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:24,613
the new, uh, Katy Perry
and Taylor Swift.

255
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,267
Come on, Raj,
you're better than this.

256
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:27,790
Oh, leave room for dessert

257
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,792
'cause I'm gonna
make you eat those words.

258
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:33,143
[clears throat]
"Dear Dr. Tyson,

259
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,798
"much like epithelial tissue,

260
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,322
it appears I've gotten
under your skin."

261
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,803
iPhone drop,

262
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:43,675
but I won't
'cause I don't have AppleCare.

263
00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:47,157
[phone chimes]
What'd he say?

264
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:51,640
"Nice try, genius.
The skin isepithelial tissue."

265
00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:54,382
Oh, it's on.

266
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:58,560
He's Katy, I'm T-Swift.
[clears throat]

267
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:05,872
What are you gonna do?
He's from another country.

268
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:11,486
TOUR GUIDE: And here we have
the former hotel where Tesla

269
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:14,315
perfected the three-phase
alternating current motor.

270
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:16,186
That's wrong.
I'm gonna say something.

271
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,753
Don't.

272
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:21,235
Well, then how will everyone
know I'm the smartest boy here?

273
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:23,019
Just let it go.

274
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,760
Is everything all right?

275
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,501
You seem testy
this morning.

276
00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:27,763
I'm not testy.

277
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,199
I'll have to take
your word for it.

278
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,985
There's no test for testy.

279
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:35,075
Is it possible that
you're sexually frustrated?

280
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:37,033
Okay, now I'm testy.

281
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:39,470
If you had adhered
to my coital schedule,

282
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:42,212
your brain would be floating
on a sea of oxytocin right now.

283
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:45,259
Don't talk to me about my brain.
I'm a neurobiologist.

284
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,914
Then you should know
the benefits of the special hug

285
00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:49,872
that grown-ups
give each other.

286
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,571
Sheldon, everybody's
listening.

287
00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:55,835
Of course they're listening;
we're interesting.

288
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,010
Unlike that guy.

289
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,622
I-I'm walking
away from you.

290
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,803
I'm only
recently married.

291
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,632
Do I stay here? Do I follow?
Say something useful.

292
00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:20,990
Morning, sunshine.

293
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:26,169
So I see you're making espresso.

294
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,170
Yup.

295
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:28,998
Just need that extra jolt

296
00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:32,654
for a successful day
of ballbusting.

297
00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:35,831
Really? I don't,
I don't think you do.

298
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:39,226
You know, you compared us to
the strangest couple we know,

299
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,705
and we know
Amy and Sheldon,

300
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:44,274
Howard and Bernadette,
Raj and his twitchy little dog.

301
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,755
I-I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.

302
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,757
Because it wasn't nice
or because it wasn't true?

303
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,715
It's not true. [stammers]

304
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:53,762
Mrs. Fowler is an angry,
vindictive woman,

305
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,765
whereas you are warm
and-and loving,

306
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,332
quick to forgive.

307
00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:00,160
Oh, please.

308
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:03,337
I-I'm serious.
And I'm nothing like Amy's dad.

309
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,992
He's a mousy little man
who can't stand up for himself.

310
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:12,302
My point is you're not like her,
so we're not like them.

311
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:15,392
Well, 30 years from now,
are you gonna hide from me

312
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,046
because I'm so scary?

313
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:20,354
Hey, I-I don't think
you're scary.

314
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:23,531
Yes, I flinch when
you make sudden moves, but...

315
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:27,578
...that says more about
my childhood than you.

316
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,928
Aw.

317
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,240
Your turn.

318
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,590
Hang on, I'm checking
to see if Neil replied

319
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,766
to my latest
smackdown.

320
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:44,508
Really? Don't you think this
Twitter feud is a little silly?

321
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:45,945
Absolutely not.

322
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,947
It's-it's two
respected scientists

323
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:50,036
debating opposing views
in a public forum.

324
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:53,604
You called him
Mike Tyson's little sister.

325
00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:57,521
Yeah, and now Mike Tyson's
mad at me, too.

326
00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:02,613
Raj, you're not going to impress
anyone by attacking him.

327
00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:06,182
Oh, Bernadette,
you sound so old right now.

328
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:13,494
He said he needs a break,
and I'm too much for him.

329
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:15,757
Oh. I'm sure he
didn't mean that.

330
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,542
He said I'm overbearing!

331
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:22,459
Oh, please, you're just
the right amount of bearing.

332
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:25,680
Look, I know he loves you.

333
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:28,378
If you just give him some space,
I'm sure he'll come back.

334
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,119
You really think so?

335
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:31,816
Yeah, I do.

336
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:35,646
You're a good person, Penny.

337
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:39,520
I hope we get to spend
lots of time together.

338
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,829
Me, too.

339
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:49,443
Yes?
Hit the road.

340
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,836
But...
Now!

341
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,621
Can I get my stuff?

342
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:56,493
Be quick about it!
[whimpers]

343
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,719
Hello.Hello.

344
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:07,548
I brought you two hot dogs.

345
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:09,158
A-Aren't you
gonna eat one?

346
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:11,726
From a street cart?
Are you crazy?

347
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,555
I'm amazed that
I'm holding them.

348
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,122
I'm not really hungry.

349
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:21,475
You realize that I'm not
a particularly physical person.

350
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:24,391
I know.
When I was little,

351
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:27,089
and people asked me what
I wanted to be when I grew up,

352
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:30,266
I'd always say,
"A brain in a jar."

353
00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:31,876
Sure.

354
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,357
Yeah, but I want to be
a good husband to you,

355
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:38,318
and intimacy
is a part of that.

356
00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:40,537
Please put those down.

357
00:17:40,581 --> 00:17:42,757
I'm just worried
that if I don't schedule

358
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,934
our bedroom endeavors,
then I may not think about them,

359
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:48,415
and you'll grow
cold and distant

360
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:52,767
and seek solace in the arms of
a heavily-muscled longshoreman.

361
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:55,509
Where would I find
a longshoreman?

362
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,554
Along the shore.
It's in the name.

363
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:04,387
Sheldon, I could never be
with anybody but you.

364
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,215
That's good to know.

365
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:07,912
I wouldn't want
to fight a man

366
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:11,177
who's brave enough
to touch a fish.

367
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,398
How's this for
a compromise?

368
00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:19,272
Make all the schedules you want,
just don't tell me about them.

369
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:21,100
Excellent.

370
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,232
I'll create an algorithm
that'll generate

371
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:25,582
a pseudo-random schedule.
Yeah, and do you know why

372
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:27,758
it won't be a true
random schedule?

373
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:30,761
Because the generation
of true random numbers

374
00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:33,373
remains an unsolved problem
in computer science.

375
00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:34,722
Come with me.

376
00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:36,245
Where are we going?To the hotel room.

377
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,029
And when we get there,
I'm gonna need you

378
00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:40,554
to say that again,
except naked.
[gasps]

379
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:57,875
[ringtone playing]

380
00:18:57,919 --> 00:19:00,965
Go for Dr. K.

381
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:02,967
NEIL deGRASSE TYSON:
Is this Rajesh Koothrappali?

382
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:04,273
Yes. Who is this?

383
00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:06,971
Neil deGrasse Tyson.

384
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,671
[stammers] Uh, w-wow.

385
00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:12,194
[chuckles]

386
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:14,849
How fun is this
Twitter thing, huh?

387
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:16,807
You think you're funny?

388
00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:19,854
I'm-I'm not Seinfeld funny, but
I did an open mic night once.

389
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,638
You're not funny.

390
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:24,337
Yeah, that's what they said
at the Chuckle Hut.

391
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,208
How about this:

392
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:29,211
I've got a book signing at
Vroman's in Pasadena next week.

393
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:32,432
Why don't you come by and say
some of those things to my face.

394
00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:33,781
[chuckles]:
Oh, no,

395
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:36,653
but thanks for the invite.

396
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:39,134
Smart move, and the next time
you pick up your phone,

397
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:43,878
remember, I'm the guy who kicked
Pluto out of the solar system.

398
00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:46,185
And it deserved it, sir.

399
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,448
Thank you. Bye-bye.

400
00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:52,495
Well, that was fun.

401
00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:55,716
Let's see who else needs
a deGrasse kickin'.

402
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:03,027
Bill Nye the Science Guy.

403
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:06,379
Hey, Bill, Neil Tyson.
We've got to talk.

404
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:12,994
Captioning sponsored by
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405
00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:15,039
Captioned by
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