1
00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:04,569
But I think, by the
end of the honeymoon,

2
00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:07,224
we really started to feel
like a married couple.

3
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:09,226
But the good kind,
like on TV,

4
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:11,489
not like my parents.Yeah.

5
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,230
You're not a real married couple
until you can pee

6
00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:15,406
with the door open
and she's okay with it.

7
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:19,236
I told you, I'm
not okay with it.

8
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,630
She loves it.

9
00:00:21,673 --> 00:00:25,199
So, we got everybody gifts.

10
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:26,635
Aw.

11
00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,116
Did you forget about us

12
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:31,292
until you were at the airport?

13
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:32,684
No.

14
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,860
We forgot about you
until we were on the plane.

15
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,123
Luckily,
there was Wi-Fi,

16
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:37,994
and I have Amazon Prime.

17
00:00:39,778 --> 00:00:41,215
I heart New York.

18
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:44,131
Aw, the baby's gonna love
throwing up on this.

19
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,133
Look, it doesn't have
to just be New York.

20
00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:47,612
That's the beauty of it.

21
00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:50,659
Uh, the initials "N.Y."
can stand for anything you like.

22
00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:52,313
For instance, I
understand that there is

23
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,576
an elderly rock-and-roll
musician named Neil Young.

24
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,317
Perhaps you heart him.

25
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,755
Or if not him, Egyptian
table tennis silver medalist

26
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:01,844
Noha Yossry.

27
00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,150
Or Nana Yamaguchi,

28
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,152
the Japanese voice actress

29
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:07,719
who starred in
Sally the Witch.

30
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:10,374
Did you just google
the initials "N.Y."?

31
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:11,767
I had Wi-Fi and a
long plane flight.

32
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:13,595
Draw your own
conclusions.

33
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:17,860
Well, guys, that was very,
very thoughtful of you. I...

34
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:22,952
Did you get me a double XL?

35
00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:25,259
I told you.You were right, dear.

36
00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:30,177
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

37
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:33,310
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

38
00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,138
♪ The Earth began to cool

39
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,793
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

40
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:40,404
♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids♪

41
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:43,059
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

42
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,930
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

43
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,497
♪ Bang!♪

44
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:58,944
Sheldon, that's not how
you write a thank you card.

45
00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:00,424
What's wrong with it?

46
00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:02,644
"Dear Aunt Helen,

47
00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:04,994
"thank you so much for
the lovely place setting.

48
00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:06,822
"If my handwriting
looks strained,

49
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:09,085
"that is because this is
the 16th thank you card

50
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,914
"Amy has forced me to write.

51
00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:14,569
"The muscles in my
wrist are cramping

52
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:18,007
"as I struggle to
finish this sentence.

53
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:20,009
"Ow, ow, oh, the pain.

54
00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:22,229
Love, Sheldon."

55
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:24,796
Fine.

56
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,842
"And Amy."

57
00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,714
Ow.

58
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,717
This one is from
Leonard and Penny.

59
00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:33,936
Aw.

60
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:36,852
"The perfect gift for
the perfect couple."

61
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:39,811
Save that card. We may need
to throw it back in their faces.

62
00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:42,074
I wonder what it could be.

63
00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:43,815
Oh, could be anything.

64
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,904
A flute, a letter opener,

65
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,210
one of those pens

66
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:49,865
where you put the bikini
back on the naked lady.

67
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,084
Oh.

68
00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:54,739
Isn't this nice?

69
00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:58,395
What is it?

70
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,005
You know, it's, uh,

71
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:02,051
it's one of those...

72
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:07,361
Nope, doesn't do that.

73
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:08,797
Oh, maybe it's candy.

74
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,191
Lick it.

75
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,367
I don't want to
lick it. You lick it.

76
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,804
I'm not gonna lick it.
I just brushed my teeth.

77
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,893
Is it from one of
your dumb sci-fi shows?

78
00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:20,939
Uh, none of the sci-fi shows
I watch are dumb.

79
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:23,377
Sheldon...Okay, Westworld.

80
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,030
But this has nothing
to do with that show,

81
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:27,207
other than it's
also inexplicable.

82
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,947
Well, Leonard and Penny
are our best friends.

83
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,210
They know us
better than anyone.

84
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:31,907
They said it's
the perfect gift.

85
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:34,170
We must be
missing something.

86
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:42,570
You don't...

87
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:46,748
think it's a marital
aid, do you?

88
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,664
Don't be silly.

89
00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:53,755
Amy, how is this big glass shaft
going to aid our marriage?

90
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,064
Do you think
when Krypto the Superdog

91
00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:01,806
is out flying,
Superman has to fly after him

92
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,721
with a little baggie?

93
00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:06,811
Hmm. Haven't really
thought about it before.

94
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:08,291
But he doesn't
need a baggie,

95
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:12,208
because he just blasts the
poop with his heat vision.

96
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,731
You've thought about it before.

97
00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,385
Oh, I've thought
about it a lot.[chuckles]

98
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:16,734
[chuckles]

99
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,959
What is wrong
with Stuart's face?

100
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:27,092
I think he's smiling.

101
00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:29,921
Oh, my God, are
they flirting?

102
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:31,401
Oh, they're
way past flirting.

103
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:34,404
I caught them making out
at Sheldon's wedding.

104
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:38,930
Are you sure she wasn't trying
to breathe life back into him?

105
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,149
I don't think so.

106
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:41,455
When I used that much tongue
at CPR training,

107
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:44,545
I had to buy the dummy.

108
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,155
Ooh, I have class.

109
00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,156
I should go.

110
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,331
Oh. Okay.

111
00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:50,202
Bye.Bye.

112
00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:51,421
[chuckles]

113
00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,776
[both chuckle]

114
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,865
See ya, guys.

115
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:02,867
Bye.Bye.

116
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:06,088
So, what's her deal?

117
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:09,221
Is she into you or does
she just hate her parents?

118
00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:10,266
I-I don't know.

119
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,399
We kissed a little
at the wedding,

120
00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:13,791
and it was great.

121
00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:15,445
But we haven't really talked
about it since then.

122
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:18,100
So I-I don't know
how she feels about me.

123
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,754
Well, she patted you
on the head,

124
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:23,018
so I'm guessing she feels
like you're such a good boy!

125
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:25,107
[chuckles]

126
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,414
Seriously, do you think
I should ask her out?

127
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,024
A-Absolutely.

128
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,504
Don't let love get away.

129
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:33,550
It is the most important thing
in the world.

130
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,247
Without it,
life is

131
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:37,641
dark and meaningless
and all you're left with

132
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,251
is the judgmental gaze
of your dog

133
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:43,255
as you finish off a bag
of Doritos on the toilet.

134
00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:44,692
Thanks.

135
00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:47,085
You're a real good pal.

136
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,350
And now you're
a good boy!

137
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,875
[smooches]

138
00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,402
I can't stop thinking
about that present.

139
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:00,882
It's driving me crazy.

140
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,231
Me, too!

141
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:04,233
The card said it was
the perfect gift.

142
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:07,062
But it's not a dinosaur fossil
or matching pocket watches,

143
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:09,673
so I don't see
how it can be.

144
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,109
Maybe we're trying too hard.

145
00:06:11,153 --> 00:06:12,546
Maybe it's something simple.

146
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:13,764
[gasps] Like
Leonard and Penny.

147
00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:15,418
Yes, good.

148
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:17,638
We just need to
think like them.

149
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:20,249
[inhales, exhales]
Okay.

150
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:23,252
What gift can I get us

151
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:28,475
to express how grateful we are
to have us in their lives?

152
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,781
Way to make it simple.

153
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,174
I'm just gonna ask them.

154
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,568
No, you can't;
it'll hurt their feelings.

155
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:36,134
I'm okay with that.

156
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,614
And they'll know
you weren't smart enough

157
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,050
to figure it out
on your own.

158
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:41,531
You're right.
Oh, this is awful.

159
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,620
And I can't even comfort
myself by stroking

160
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:47,276
the fossilized tibia
of a Pentaceratops.

161
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:48,756
Let's just go to sleep.

162
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:50,758
We'll look at it in the morning
with fresh eyes,

163
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:52,194
and maybe it'll come to us.

164
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:53,282
Fine.

165
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:02,465
Or we go tear apart that box
and look for a clue.

166
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,946
Staying up past my bedtime
and solving mysteries?

167
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:06,817
Who knew married life
could be this good?

168
00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:16,044
What's wrong
with his face?

169
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,872
A lot of people have
been asking that.

170
00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,439
He's... smiling.

171
00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:23,268
Hey, Stuart,
you look pretty happy.

172
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,574
Oh, yeah.

173
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:27,011
I, uh, asked Denise out
on a date,

174
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:29,144
and she said yes.Aw.

175
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:30,493
That's great.

176
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,408
But don't smile like that
in front of Halley.

177
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,845
She just started sleeping
through the night.

178
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,456
Sorry. I'm excited.

179
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:39,720
I haven't been on a date
in a long time.

180
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,243
Back when I was dating,
I'd always wear

181
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:43,332
a new pair of underwear,
just in case.

182
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:46,509
It's also been a long time
since I bought new underwear.

183
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:47,945
And I probably should,

184
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:52,210
because these are no longer
tighty nor whitey.

185
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:53,473
Okay, I'm out.

186
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,085
If there's a chance
someone's gonna see you naked,

187
00:07:57,128 --> 00:08:00,697
it's also polite to make sure
you're well-groomed down there.

188
00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:03,483
I get it, Howard.
I've been busy!

189
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,226
Hello.

190
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:09,576
Hey.I just wanted

191
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:12,535
to pop over and hand-deliver
this thank you note

192
00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:15,320
for your very thoughtful
wedding gift.PENNY: Oh.

193
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:16,887
Oh, good. You
guys liked it?

194
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:19,237
Well, we liked it a lot more
than things that aren't it,

195
00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,978
I'll tell you that.

196
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,414
Well, yeah, that's great.

197
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:24,199
Because when we saw it,
we thought, "Amy and Sheldon

198
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:25,635
just have to have that."

199
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,419
Oh, do tell.
Now, paint a picture for me,

200
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,247
like where you were
when you found it

201
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:32,250
and what you thought
we'd enjoy doing with it.

202
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,645
Do you not know what it is?

203
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:36,907
PENNY:
Of course he knows

204
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:40,128
what it is. He's
the smartest man in the world.

205
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:42,609
Well, I don't know
about the world.

206
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:45,568
Some of those Chinese fellas
are pretty clever.

207
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,570
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going

208
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,616
to return home and use your gift

209
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,488
in the manner
which it was intended.

210
00:08:54,795 --> 00:08:55,839
[laughing]

211
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,449
He-He's never gonna
figure it out.

212
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,451
I know.[thumping]

213
00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:01,671
SHELDON:
What are you?!

214
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,718
Gosh, this makes me happy.Yeah.

215
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:05,893
[laughs]

216
00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:10,332
Howard, I don't
often say this,

217
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:12,073
but, good, you're here. Now,

218
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,857
do you know

219
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:16,381
what Leonard and Penny got
us for our wedding gift?

220
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,557
Well...[stammers]
Don't answer.

221
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,688
I don't want to know.

222
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,342
I just want to
know if you know.

223
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:21,648
I do know.Okay, great.

224
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:24,259
I believe that Amy and
I have figured it out.

225
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,653
Is it a clue to
a scavenger hunt

226
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:29,090
that will lead us
to the actual present?

227
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,657
If you're asking

228
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,007
if you and Amy should spend
the next couple days

229
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:35,662
running all over town searching
for the next clue,

230
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:38,708
I'm gonna have to say yes.

231
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:39,709
I knew it!

232
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:41,102
This is so much fun.

233
00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:43,583
Oh, it really is.
[chuckles]

234
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,149
Oh, Leonard,
thank you again.

235
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:48,196
We love the gift.Aw.

236
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,501
Does he know what it is?

237
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:50,764
No, not even close.

238
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,592
He thinks it's a clue
to a scavenger hunt.

239
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:53,636
[laughs]

240
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,117
So, so happy.

241
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,858
Well, what is it?
What did you give them?

242
00:09:57,901 --> 00:10:00,469
Oh, i-it's just this
dumb crystal wand

243
00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:02,906
that Howard and Bernadette
gave us for our wedding.

244
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,647
Penny and I
made each other miserable

245
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,649
trying to figure out
what it was, and we thought,

246
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:10,610
"Why not pass that fun along
to Sheldon and Amy."

247
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:11,915
Wait a minute. Did--

248
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,352
did you give them the
crystal chakra wand

249
00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:16,616
that I gave you
for yourwedding?

250
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,924
Yeah, that's exactly
what we did.

251
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:23,623
You said you liked it!

252
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,799
Yeah, that's exactly
what I said.

253
00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:36,679
Wow. A scavenger hunt.

254
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,725
That's exciting.

255
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:41,336
I had a bit of a scavenger hunt
myself last night.

256
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,424
I was trying
to find the remote.

257
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,905
I looked under
one of the cushions.

258
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,254
Wasn't there.

259
00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:48,517
Then I lifted the cushion
a little higher.

260
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,562
Bingo.

261
00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:52,564
Riveting.

262
00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:55,306
So, do you know what it is?

263
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,134
Of course I know what it is.

264
00:10:57,178 --> 00:11:00,485
It's a silicon dioxide crystal,
otherwise known as quartz.

265
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,531
Are you sure?

266
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:06,448
Am I sure? Is basalt a mafic
extrusive igneous rock formed

267
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:09,712
by the rapid cooling
of magnesium and iron-rich lava?

268
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,671
Yeah, I'm sure.

269
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,934
Okay, so it's quartz.

270
00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,413
That's got
to mean something.

271
00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:17,111
What do we know
about quartz?

272
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:18,373
I'll google it.

273
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,418
Or you can ask me, the geologist

274
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:22,246
who won the MacArthur
Genius Grant.

275
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,727
Got it!

276
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,990
Quartz, from the
German "quarz"

277
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:30,211
which sounds the same, but
is spelled without a "T".

278
00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:33,736
Interesting. No "T".

279
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,304
What is not "T"?

280
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:37,871
Coffee!

281
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:40,482
The coffee shop
where we first met!

282
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:43,137
All right, let's go.
Sorry.

283
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:46,923
I think I just had an adrenaline
rush from having visitors.

284
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:53,887
Hey, Raj, will you, um,
smell something for me?

285
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,758
Uh, that depends.

286
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:58,413
Actually, it doesn't depend.
Just no.

287
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:02,373
I'm trying out some new colognes
for my date with Denise.

288
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:03,810
Oh, and you just came over here

289
00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:06,377
to rub it in my face
that you have a date?No.

290
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,249
I came over here
because I need advice,

291
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:11,165
and you've gone out with
more women than anybody I know.

292
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,080
Huh. I guess you're right.

293
00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:15,647
Sheldon's the smart one,
Howard's the funny one,

294
00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:18,476
and apparently,
I'm the ladies' man.

295
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,391
Which one's Leonard?

296
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:21,566
Oh, yeah, right.

297
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,351
I guess Leonard's
the forgettable one.

298
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,179
Okay, let's have a whiff.

299
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:27,007
Oh.

300
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:30,532
[sniffs]
Hmm. Smells like Paco Rabanne.

301
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,795
Ooh, you're good.
I bought it at a swap meet.

302
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:35,537
It's actually called
"Smells Like Paco Rabanne."

303
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,539
It's great.
She's gonna love it.

304
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,062
I hope so.

305
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:42,109
I really like Denise, and I
don't want to screw this up.

306
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:43,632
Hey, relax.

307
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:46,243
Trust your instincts.
That's what I do.

308
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:49,333
And that works for you?

309
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:54,338
Actually... no.

310
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,820
I've made a mess of my life,
and I'm...

311
00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,127
I'm all alone.

312
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:06,481
Okay, I think
it'd be best for both of us

313
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:09,789
if I pretend to get
a phone call and just walk away.

314
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,227
Yeah, that would be best.

315
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,925
Hello. This is Stuart.

316
00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,014
[whispering]:
Sorry. I got to take this.

317
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:22,149
Uh, why, yes, I'd
love to take a survey.

318
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,112
Okay, this is where
we first met.

319
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:30,635
There's got to be a clue
here somewhere.

320
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:32,246
[gasps] We sat at that table.

321
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,119
Excuse me.

322
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,904
I'm sorry.
We're on a scavenger hunt.

323
00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:39,209
Just pretend
we're not here.

324
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,210
Oh, I found something!

325
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,255
[shrieks]
It's gum.

326
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,651
Maybe they left it
behind the counter.

327
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:50,873
I met my wife here,
and we sat at this very table,

328
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,006
so if you play your cards right,
in eight years,

329
00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:54,398
you could marry this woman.

330
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:56,226
That's my sister.

331
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,317
Well, don't tell people.
That's not okay.

332
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:04,931
Sheldon, look,
I asked the barista

333
00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:06,497
if anyone
left anything for us,

334
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:08,630
and she said to look
in this lost and found box.

335
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,850
But why would it be in
the lost and found box?

336
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:15,550
Because we were lost,
and then we found each other.

337
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:18,118
It makes perfect sense.

338
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:20,555
Oh. And look at this.

339
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:22,078
A locket.

340
00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:24,559
And that stone in front--
I bet it's quartz.

341
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,561
This must be it. This
must be the actual gift.

342
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:27,475
Open it up.
What's inside?

343
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:30,347
Nothing. It's empty.

344
00:14:30,391 --> 00:14:32,349
Of course.

345
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:34,177
Our life together
is just starting,

346
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:36,701
and they want us to fill
it with our memories.

347
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:41,881
This might be
the best wedding gift ever.

348
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:43,970
[gasps] They also left us
a pair of sunglasses

349
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,146
because our
future's so bright!

350
00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:50,541
They thought of everything!

351
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,764
Oh.

352
00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:57,157
Look what Halley drew.

353
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,854
Yeah, she made it at daycare.

354
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,203
It's pretty good, huh?

355
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:02,858
Is it?

356
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,905
Wow. Gentile moms are tough.

357
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,603
[knocking on door]

358
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:11,519
STUART: Guys, I need
to show you something,

359
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:14,478
but you have to promise
not to make fun of me.

360
00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:16,524
Of course.

361
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:24,184
Whoa.

362
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:26,708
Yeah. I was worried
about the date

363
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:30,581
so I got my hair colored to make
me feel a little more confident,

364
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:34,237
but that just made me look
paler, so I-I got a spray tan.

365
00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:35,760
Have you tried
showering,

366
00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:37,588
seeing if you
could scrub it off?

367
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,634
I did.

368
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:42,245
You're gonna need
some new towels.

369
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,813
And a bathmat.

370
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,511
And a toilet seat.

371
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:56,085
I'm picking her up in an hour.

372
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,567
What am I gonna do?!

373
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:01,221
Don't you mean
what are you gonna

374
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:02,918
"Oompa Loompa doompety do"?

375
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,966
You said you weren't
gonna make any jokes.

376
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,664
I'm sorry. I'll stop.
[mouthing]

377
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:11,013
[giggles]

378
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,710
Look, it's only
a spray tan.

379
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,756
It'll fade in a couple days.

380
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,584
Why don't you cancel
the date and reschedule?

381
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:19,587
Oh, but I was really
looking forward to tonight.

382
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:22,024
You know what? Then go.
Tell her what happened.

383
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:24,200
Maybe she'll be flattered.WOLOWITZ:
And if not,

384
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:27,899
swing by the chocolate factory
and see if they're hiring.

385
00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:30,859
That wasn't a joke. That was
a legitimate suggestion.

386
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:34,950
[Skype ringing]

387
00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:37,605
DR. KOOTHRAPPALI:
Hello?

388
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,172
Hey, Dad.

389
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:42,827
Rajesh. What a nice surprise,
calling me on my birthday.

390
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:47,615
Yes. That's why I'm calling.

391
00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:50,139
And-and what better gift
to give you than the gift

392
00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:53,273
of marrying an Indian woman,
just like you've always wanted.

393
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,014
My goodness, Rajesh,
this is exciting news.

394
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,450
Who is she?

395
00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,365
You tell me.

396
00:16:58,408 --> 00:16:59,627
What?

397
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:03,370
I want you
to arrange a marriage for me.

398
00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:06,112
I'm just so tired
of being single,

399
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:09,854
and I'm finally just...
I'm-I'm ready to settle down.

400
00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:12,596
I can't just call up
some girl's dad

401
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,337
and make her marry you.

402
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:18,080
It's-it's not 2015 anymore.

403
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:21,257
I know that, but I can't do this
on my own. I need your help.

404
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:22,693
[sighs]

405
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,521
Well, then, I'm going
to need your help, too.

406
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:27,742
If I'm going to find a woman
to set you up with,

407
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:30,527
you're going to need
to stop Instagramming pictures

408
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:33,617
of you and your dog
wearing matching sweaters.

409
00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:37,012
Fine, if that's what it takes
to show you that I'm serious.

410
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,796
Uh, quick question.

411
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,537
Do you mean justInstagram,
or all my social...?

412
00:17:40,581 --> 00:17:42,365
All of them!

413
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,715
Okay, deal.

414
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:47,718
All right.
Let me ask you a question.

415
00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:49,981
What do you think of this woman?

416
00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:52,419
Oh. Oh, my God, she's beautiful.

417
00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,899
Is that who you're going
to set me up with?

418
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:57,989
No! That's who I'mdating.

419
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:03,691
But maybe
she has an older sister.

420
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:09,000
So we put a little picture of me

421
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:11,394
and a little picture
of Sheldon in it.

422
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:19,141
In-in the locket?

423
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:20,882
Yes.

424
00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:24,103
That was in
a lost and found box?

425
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:26,931
Exactly.

426
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:29,673
Where we hid it?

427
00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:31,936
So really, you gave us
three amazing gifts.

428
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,503
You gave the locket,
the adventure

429
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:36,550
and the realization
that Amy and I can do anything

430
00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:38,769
as long as we
work together.

431
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:41,946
We wrote you a special
thank you note.Oh.

432
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,299
Are those words?

433
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,651
No.

434
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:54,568
It's a secret code that you two
get to figure out together.

435
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:59,181
Hint: it's based
on Sanskrit,

436
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,618
but not the Sanskrit
you're thinking of.

437
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,011
[laughs]

438
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:07,233
And best of all, you can't use
the Internet to cheat.

439
00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:09,365
Because we locked you
out of your Wi-Fi,

440
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:12,803
and the answer to this
is your new password.

441
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:19,027
I'm no longer happy.

442
00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:22,813
Hey, guys. Great news.

443
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:25,251
I'm getting married.

444
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:27,949
Huh?
What?
No.

445
00:19:28,993 --> 00:19:31,082
Well, I-I haven't met her yet,

446
00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,084
but her name is Anu.

447
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:33,911
My father says she comes
from a good family.

448
00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:35,304
She's in her 30s.

449
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,088
She works
in hospitality management.

450
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,656
So, as long as I can get
through six to ten dates

451
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:42,485
without revealing
my true self...

452
00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:46,054
...this is happening.

453
00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:49,449
I know just what we're giving
them for a wedding gift.

454
00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:58,806
Oh.

455
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:02,026
Oh, my God.

456
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,246
Yeah.

457
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,161
I wanted to look my best
for our date,

458
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:11,427
and I made a series
of bad decisions...

459
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:17,477
...one of which is hidden
by my pants.

460
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,088
Wow. [laughs]

461
00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:23,526
Do you still want
to go out with me?

462
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:27,965
Absolutely. Hey, maybe we
can go find Nemo together.

463
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:30,185
That's a good one.

464
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,231
[clears throat]

465
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,711
Do your 63 other crayon
friends know you're out?

466
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,931
Are you just gonna
make fun of me all night?

467
00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:38,454
Probably.
Great.

468
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:40,195
So what are we thinking,
Chinese?

469
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,241
Yeah, I'm in the mood
for orange chicken.