1
00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:03,525
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...

2
00:00:03,568 --> 00:00:04,961
The drug I've been working on

3
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,354
for the past five years
just got approved by the FDA.

4
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,486
Wow.
Oh.
Congratulations.
Was that the

5
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:10,184
decongestant
you developed?
No,

6
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:13,578
we had to rebrand that as
a solvent for mining equipment.

7
00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:17,365
It's her
anti-inflammatory drug.Oh.

8
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:19,584
Yep, three years of testing
and no reported side effects.

9
00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:21,891
Hmm, so it works.
Eh.

10
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:26,200
Well, congratulations,
I'm so happy for you.

11
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:27,549
Yeah, well,
I'm happy for you

12
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,246
because I want you
to head up my sales team.

13
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:32,510
Really? Me? Don't you want
someone with more experience?

14
00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:34,382
No, the job's all yours.

15
00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:36,253
All right, now I'm sure
some of you are wondering,

16
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:37,733
"Who is this woman?

17
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:40,083
"How did she get to be in charge
of the sales team?

18
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:42,607
Is it because she's friends
with Dr. Rostenkowski?"

19
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,219
Because she is.

20
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:48,222
"Is it because she was
Miss Cornhusker 2001

21
00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:50,224
and still fits
in those very same jeans?"

22
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,400
Because she was, and she does

23
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,879
and they're actually
a little baggy.

24
00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:59,102
"And the absence of side effects
means that Inflaminex

25
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:01,496
"can be taken in conjunction
with other medications.

26
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:03,802
It's a brand-new day."
[exhales]

27
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Such a good tagline, I forgot,
who came up with that?

28
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,677
You did.That's right, I did.

29
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,158
Okay, I know it's late
and I've been

30
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,376
working you guys really hard,

31
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,725
so I have a little treat
for you.

32
00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,858
We get to go home?
No.

33
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:18,991
You get to stay here
and get vitamin B12 shots.

34
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:20,123
[team members groan]

35
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,907
Oh, my God.
You guys are still here?

36
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:25,259
We're happy to be here.
It's a brand-new day.

37
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:29,263
It's 12:15, it's literally
a brand-new day.

38
00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:32,527
Everybody go home.[scoffs]

39
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,051
All right, fine.
Go, get out of here.

40
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,009
Go on. [sighs]

41
00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:39,534
I think things
are going pretty good.

42
00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:42,014
Are you aware that Dave's
in the break room crying?

43
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:43,799
Yeah, I told him
if he's gonna be a crybaby,

44
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,409
go to the break room.

45
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:46,802
I just really want
to be prepared

46
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,804
for this conference.You're gonna
do great.

47
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,806
You really think so?Of course;
they're scared of you,

48
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,938
you're scared of me--
The system works.

49
00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:58,422
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

50
00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:01,817
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

51
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:03,558
♪ The Earth began to cool

52
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:06,169
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

53
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,650
♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids♪

54
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:11,348
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

55
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,263
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

56
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:14,960
♪ Bang!♪

57
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:24,318
Okay, Howie,
I'm going.

58
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Have a great conference.Thanks.

59
00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:29,192
Remember, I'm leaving
you with two babies.

60
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I expect to see two
babies when I get back,

61
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and they better be the same
two babies because I'll know.

62
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I think I'm capable
of babysitting.

63
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Don't call it babysitting;
they're your children.

64
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:41,378
It's called parenting.

65
00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:42,553
What's the difference?

66
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:44,729
You don't get paid.

67
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,559
Now, the emergency
contacts are on the fridge

68
00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:50,039
and I left money for
food on the table.

69
00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:51,649
Oh, sounds like I do get paid.

70
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,651
[chuckles]

71
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:55,000
Don't worry.

72
00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:56,741
I got this covered.

73
00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:58,569
I know you do.

74
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Quick question,
where are the kids right now?

75
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They're upstairs.

76
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,096
They're at daycare.They're at daycare?

77
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They're upstairs!Why are you
messing with me?!

78
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,453
[clears throat]

79
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:16,021
Wow. That's a lot of
luggage for a weekend.

80
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:17,501
[groans]
I know.

81
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,590
I didn't know what to wear,
so I brought a few options.

82
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Was one of the options the
option to never come back?

83
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[sighs]

84
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:27,032
[chuckles] I just really want
this weekend to go well.

85
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Doesn't answer my
question, but okay.

86
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I love you.

87
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:32,429
I love you, too.
Thanks.

88
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:33,909
And you're gonna do great.

89
00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:36,651
Just relax, stay out of your
head, and try to enjoy it.

90
00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:38,392
Aw. That reminds me
of what I said to you

91
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,829
the first time
we slept together.

92
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,266
I still use it.

93
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,789
It's a mantra.Yeah.

94
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,052
Oh, thank goodness!

95
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,140
I caught you before you left.

96
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,141
I'm just going
for the weekend.

97
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:50,142
Just the weekend.

98
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,014
You all heard her say it.

99
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:54,712
So, your convention
is in San Diego, right?Yes.

100
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,888
Great. I need you to settle
a bet for Amy and me.

101
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:59,282
I say,
when it's not Comic-Con,

102
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,153
no one will be dressed
as superheroes.

103
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:02,198
Mm-hmm.

104
00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:06,115
And I say fewer people will
be dressed as superheroes

105
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:07,247
but still some.

106
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:10,728
A crazy person in a cape
doesn't count.

107
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:14,297
Mm, why not?
It counts at Comic-Con.

108
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,647
Also, if you get a chance
to sneak into Hall H,

109
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last year, I left my neck
pillow under my seat.

110
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Uh, third row,
second from the aisle.

111
00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:24,307
I'll see what I can do.

112
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:25,961
Thank you.
At least there will be

113
00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:28,050
one superhero in San Diego.

114
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,359
So, Leonard, what are you
gonna do while Penny's away?

115
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:33,577
I don't know.

116
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:36,667
Maybe watch a movie
with subtitles.

117
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,495
If you're looking for
something outside the norm,

118
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,497
I have invented
a new chess variant

119
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:43,805
where the bishops can
also move like knights.

120
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:46,547
What do you call that,
Bishops Be Crazy?

121
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:48,723
First of all,

122
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:51,682
it would be
"Bishops AreCrazy."

123
00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:53,293
Not if you're being crazy.

124
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,078
Checkmate.

125
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:58,689
Hey, guys.

126
00:04:58,733 --> 00:04:59,864
Hey.Hello.

127
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:01,388
Where are the kids?

128
00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:03,390
I thought they were with you.

129
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,521
What? No! I...I'm kidding.

130
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:06,480
They're at daycare.
[chuckles]

131
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:10,266
What about me makes you think
my heart can handle that joke?

132
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,616
Hey.

133
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,706
You guys want to come hang out
at my place this weekend?

134
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,404
So we can help you babysit?

135
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,101
Uh, it's not babysitting.

136
00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:20,885
They're my children.

137
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,887
They're not our children.

138
00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:25,194
Oh. Well, for you guys,
then, it is babysitting.

139
00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:26,500
No offense,
Howard,

140
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:27,849
but I don't want
to spend my weekend

141
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,894
around your loud, sticky babies.

142
00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:32,723
You can't insult my
kids. I amoffended.

143
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,508
N-No, you can't be.
I said "no offense."

144
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:37,380
That's like "no backsies"
but for offense.

145
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:40,252
What do you say? We'll
play some board games.

146
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,210
It'll be like a party.

147
00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,385
Three guys playing a board game

148
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,387
doesn't sound
like much of a party.

149
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:47,303
[chuckles] Someone doesn't
remember college very well.

150
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:52,308
As opposed to the leading
nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory,

151
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,440
our product

152
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:54,919
greatly reduces
the risk of ulcers.

153
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:56,747
So it won't burn a hole
in your stomach. [chuckles]

154
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,836
And it won't burn a hole
in your wallet, either!

155
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,272
Okay.
[chuckles]

156
00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:02,013
I got this.
[chuckles]

157
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,232
Thank you for stopping by.

158
00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:05,016
It's a brand-new day!

159
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,628
See? You're doing great.Yeah.

160
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,499
Mediocre actress,
great drug pusher.

161
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,327
Who knew?

162
00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,285
Inflaminex, huh?

163
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:14,591
So what can you
tell me about it?

164
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:16,419
Well, we...Oh, don't waste your time.

165
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:19,422
His name is Danny. He works for
one of the other drug companies.

166
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,598
Hey, nothing wrong with
checking out the competition.

167
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:24,384
Aw, we don't see you
as competition.

168
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:25,907
You should.

169
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:28,823
Our anti-inflammatory is hitting
the market this year, too.

170
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:30,955
Well, ours has zero
drug interaction risk.

171
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,957
Yeah. So does an Altoid.

172
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,133
Speaking of Altoids,

173
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:36,439
why don't you go get one?

174
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:37,440
[chuckles]:
Okay.

175
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:39,442
Let's everyone calm down.

176
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:40,965
If you can't find
a pill for that here,

177
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,837
then you're not trying
hard enough.

178
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,621
It's all right.

179
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,014
I'll go.

180
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:48,495
I don't know what
it is about that guy,

181
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,148
but he just gets
on my nerves.

182
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:51,846
Well, you scared
the bad man away.

183
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:52,934
Who's a good girl?

184
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,809
They're still asleep.

185
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:01,116
Apparently, when
I put someone down for a nap,

186
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:03,945
they sleep hard.

187
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:06,251
That's a weird brag, Howard.

188
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:07,339
[doorbell rings]

189
00:07:07,383 --> 00:07:08,906
I'll get it.

190
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:12,562
Bernadette thinks I have poor
parenting skills. [chuckles]

191
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:16,566
Maybe she's basing that
on your poor husbanding skills.

192
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,438
Who can say?

193
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,875
I'm bad at a lot of things.

194
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:24,356
Hello.Hi.

195
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,402
Hey. I didn't think
you were coming.

196
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,056
Um, I changed my mind.

197
00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:30,188
I thought it'd be fun to spend
some time with your children.

198
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:31,494
Where are the
little scamps?

199
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:32,495
"Scamps"?I'm sorry.

200
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:33,975
Tykes. Rug rats.

201
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:35,890
What is the PC
term these days?

202
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,196
What's going on?

203
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,330
We were in the bookstore,
and I found this.

204
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:43,637
Experimenting
with Babies:

205
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:48,598
50 Amazing Science Projects
You Can Perform on Your Kid.

206
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,078
You can't experiment
on his kids.

207
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,427
Yeah, you're
not their father.

208
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,037
You can't experiment on my kids.

209
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:56,258
[sighs] Fine. Can I at least
play a game with them?

210
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:57,477
Perhaps...

211
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,522
How Developed
is Your Peripheral Vision?

212
00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:03,613
Mine's great.
I saw that.

213
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,056
You know, these experiments
are pretty harmless.

214
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,755
There's one where you just put
the baby in front of a mirror

215
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,844
and you watch them
watch themselves.

216
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,846
That sounds adorable.
Let me see.

217
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,891
How come when she talks
about experiments on babies,

218
00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:22,676
you think it's adorable,
but when I do it,

219
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,329
everyone gets upset?

220
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:26,723
I think I can speak
for all of us.

221
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,682
You're just creepy.

222
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,774
No offense.

223
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:36,951
Hey, this one we can do
with both Michael and Halley.

224
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:38,605
It's called Grabby Hands.

225
00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:41,999
Wasn't that your nickname
in high school?

226
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,479
No, it was Mama's Boy.

227
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,090
But the joke was on them,
because I love my mom.

228
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,918
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Guys, listen,

229
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:49,703
you secure them both
in car seats

230
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,487
and slowly spin a toy

231
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,967
at the end of the
string above them.

232
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,272
The younger baby
tends to reach

233
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:55,578
with either hand,

234
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,798
and the older baby prefers
the dominant hand.

235
00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:59,713
That is kind of interesting.

236
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,932
And it's not really
experimenting onthe kids.

237
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:04,195
It's more like experimenting
with the kids.

238
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:05,675
AMY: Well, I guess
if you think about it,

239
00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:07,198
it's kind of like
playing games with them.

240
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:08,591
WOLOWITZ:
Okay, you know what,

241
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,201
when they wake up,
we can try one or two of these.

242
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:12,247
[gasps]
Yay!

243
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:16,251
[loudly]:
I said, "Yay!"

244
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:21,256
Thank you.
It's a brand-new day.

245
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,388
Wow, we got
a pretty good crowd here.

246
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,477
I know. But not
as big as that booth.

247
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,522
What's going on
over there?

248
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,393
Yeah, that's Chantix.

249
00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:31,919
Ray Liotta's signing
autographs until 2:00.

250
00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:33,921
[phone ringing]

251
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:36,184
Hey, I thought we weren't
supposed to have our phones

252
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,315
in the booth.

253
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:40,231
That's a "you" rule,
not a "me" rule.

254
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,843
Hey, can I help you?

255
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,496
Actually, I'm looking
for the bathroom.

256
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,455
Ah, yes. It's right next
to the laxative booth.

257
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,500
[laughs] Clever, right?

258
00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:52,592
So we meet again.

259
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:55,203
Oh, yeah. Uh, Danny, right?
How's your launch going?

260
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,508
Good.

261
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,641
Is Dr. Rostenkowski around?

262
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,817
No, she stepped out for a call,
although I wouldn't be surprised

263
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:03,385
if she's in line
to meet Ray Liotta.

264
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,692
Yeah. Something tells me
she's not crazy about me.

265
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:08,520
Yeah. Something tells me that,
too, and it was her.

266
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:11,785
Well, it doesn't matter, I was
actually hoping to talk to you.

267
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,090
Really?
Yeah.

268
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,397
You've done a terrific job
with Inflaminex.

269
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,095
We're always on the lookout
for great salespeople.

270
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,706
I think we could make you happy.

271
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,185
Uh, thanks,
but I'm pretty happy.

272
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:23,448
I could be more happy.Tell it to your shrink, Karen.

273
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:28,149
Hey, Howie, everything okay?

274
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,716
Yeah, everything's great.

275
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:33,807
I was just wondering if we had
any large barbecue tongs.

276
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:36,374
Uh, bottom left drawer.
Are you guys grilling?

277
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:38,899
Nope, just playing games
with the kids.

278
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,596
Why do you need tongs?

279
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,424
Love you, too, bye.

280
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,469
I-I bet Michael grabs it
before Halley.

281
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,080
[Halley and Neil cooing]Not a chance.

282
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:48,691
Halley's a year older, you know
she's gonna get it first.

283
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:51,302
I just think
he wants it more. Come on.

284
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:52,869
Come on, you got this.
You got this, Michael

285
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:55,437
Grab it. Grab it, Halley.
I believe in you.

286
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,787
Oh! That was so close.
Just keep on trying.

287
00:10:57,831 --> 00:11:00,703
Hey. Hey, y-you guys want to
make this more interesting?

288
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,705
By establishing
a double-blind protocol

289
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,968
so we have a foundation
to publish? Yes.

290
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:10,670
Look, here's my card. Maybe we
can get a drink this weekend.

291
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,106
Oh, I don't know.
I'm pretty busy.

292
00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,281
I have to inventory
all the giveaways.

293
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:15,500
Hey, beat it. Shoo.

294
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:18,416
So what did he want?

295
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,157
Nothing.
He offered her
a job.

296
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:22,290
No one likes a tattletale,
Karen.

297
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,988
So, what's up, traitor?

298
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:27,338
Dammit, Karen.

299
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,559
Okay, you want to engage
the babies.

300
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:32,909
The subjects.

301
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:35,695
The babies.Fine. The babies.

302
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:38,785
Baby-A and Baby-B.

303
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:41,178
Engage them for a minute and
take note of their reactions.

304
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:44,312
There's something familiar
about all this.

305
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:45,443
Okay, go.

306
00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:46,575
Hello, baby.

307
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:47,794
Are you having
a pleasant day?

308
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:51,362
Oh, my G--
This is my entire childhood.

309
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:55,192
Leonard, Leonard,
you're tainting my data.

310
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:58,369
Uh, it's like word for word.

311
00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:00,589
How much time is left?35 seconds.

312
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,460
Oh really?
He's not reacting at all.

313
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,071
Sheldon, he's a baby.

314
00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:06,160
That's not how you talk
to him, okay? J-Just watch.

315
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:08,423
Hey.

316
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,990
Halley.

317
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:12,340
[baby talk]:
Who's your favorite uncle?

318
00:12:12,383 --> 00:12:14,951
HALLEY:
[giggles] Unka Koo.

319
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:18,563
I got a dud,
let's switch.

320
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:21,697
Keep trying. It's for science.

321
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,785
LEONARD:
Is that all
I was to her?

322
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:25,788
Just an experiment?

323
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,659
Michael. Michael,
you're making me look bad.

324
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:29,226
I-Interact with me.

325
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:30,706
[gasps] He grabbed my finger.

326
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,013
Oh, he's smiling.
I'm doing it.

327
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,538
That's time.Oh, really?

328
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,018
Can we do one more?

329
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:40,020
I think these guys need
to get some food.

330
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,195
By pushing a lever at the end

331
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:43,240
of an obstacle course
that we design?

332
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,026
No, by opening the door

333
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:48,115
to a hangar and letting
the airplane fly in.

334
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:52,032
Although, Sheldon, maybe
it could be an experiment.

335
00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:54,425
Are you suggesting
we color-code their food

336
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:56,253
so we can examine
their diapers later?

337
00:12:58,255 --> 00:12:59,517
Sure.

338
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:02,999
These diapers
are gonna be full of data.

339
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,787
I never thought I would see
Sheldon enjoying himself

340
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,832
around babies so much.

341
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:12,095
Yeah, how about that?

342
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:14,837
So he just happened
to stumble upon a book

343
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:17,318
about experimenting
with them the same day

344
00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:20,712
we were hanging out
with Howard's kids?

345
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:23,672
Yep, don't overthink it.

346
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,370
LEONARD:
Oh, my God.

347
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:30,940
At sleepaway camp my cabin
was called "Control Group."

348
00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,165
I can't believe you took
his business card.

349
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,428
I can't believe we're still
talking about this.

350
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,647
He handed it to me.
What was I supposed to do?

351
00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:43,910
Hand it back to him
and tell him

352
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:45,955
to stick it
where the sun don't shine.

353
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,262
You are not serious.

354
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:49,872
Serious as the hepatitis

355
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,962
their cholesterol medication
gave thousands of people.

356
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,790
Did it?

357
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,705
Maybe.

358
00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,882
You're not really
considering this, are you?

359
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:02,058
I don't know.
It's kinda flattering.

360
00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:04,887
Please, he's just using you
to get to me.

361
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,497
Or he's trying to get to me

362
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:08,630
because I'm really good
at my job.

363
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:09,892
[scoffs] Don't be so naive.

364
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:10,893
They're our number one
competitor.

365
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,677
They have a rival drug
coming out

366
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:14,810
with a name I wish
we thought of-- Forsootha.

367
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,769
It's got "soothe" right in it.

368
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:19,075
How did we miss that?

369
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:21,251
You know, our
brand recognition

370
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,862
is three times
higher than theirs.

371
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:25,647
And I did that with a stupid
product name and no assistant.

372
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:28,171
You only have this job
because I gave it to you.

373
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:29,303
You know who else
was begging you

374
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,696
to head up their sales team?
Nobody.

375
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:34,264
Well, you know who's
begging me now? Danny.

376
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,440
I can't believe this is how
you thank me.

377
00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:38,442
I thanked you
by thanking you.

378
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:40,923
And I sent you
that fancy box of pears.

379
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,620
What am I supposed to do
with 20 pears?

380
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:45,014
Have a pear party?

381
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,716
Ooh, a juicy pear.

382
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,677
Where are the kids?

383
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,071
Oh, Sheldon's helping Howard
give them a bath.

384
00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:00,508
Hmm. So you really think

385
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:02,684
you can trick Sheldon
into liking babies?

386
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:06,470
I slept with him;
I married him.

387
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:09,212
You want to be
against me?

388
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:13,216
Oh, you were right, Amy.

389
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:14,435
There were so many
valuable experiments

390
00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:16,959
to perform on them
during bath time.

391
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,788
You don't say.

392
00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:24,445
I do. I tested their object
permanence with a rubber duck,

393
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:27,578
and we took a run at Archimedes'
water displacement,

394
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:29,711
but that went
right over their heads.

395
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,539
Well, I'm glad
you had a good day.

396
00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,280
I did.
It's so funny,

397
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,238
we did all these experiments
on them

398
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,719
and they didn't even notice.

399
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:42,419
I know, I was worried it would
be obvious, but it wasn't.

400
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:47,468
I guess we should go and let
Howard get them ready for bed.

401
00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,557
Yeah. Do you think he'd let us
come back and do some more?

402
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,515
Maybe we could take them
to the park.

403
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,561
[gasps] Smart.
There'll be more babies.

404
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:55,650
It's a bigger sample size.

405
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,136
Where did Leonard go?

406
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:05,616
Just tell me the truth, Mother.

407
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:10,317
Was my whole childhood
just one big experiment?

408
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,666
BEVERLY [on phone]:
Of course not, dear.

409
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:14,974
It was thousands
of small experiments.

410
00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:20,805
So that's all I was to you,
a-a test subject?

411
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:24,026
No, you were my baby
and I found you fascinating.

412
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,507
Really?

413
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:30,032
Yes, watching you develop,
tracking your progress.

414
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:32,643
I know I'm not
the warmest of parents,

415
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,689
but it was time
we spent together,

416
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:39,433
and, honestly, those are
some of my fondest memories.

417
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:42,479
When did you stop?

418
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:46,179
Oh, I can't tell you,
the experiment isn't over.

419
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,923
Zangen's a fine company.

420
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:53,447
They got a couple
of good drugs,

421
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,492
but we control 60%
of the market.

422
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,494
Hell, commissions on just
our fungal creams

423
00:16:57,538 --> 00:17:00,062
will put you
in a new Mercedes.

424
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,411
Danny. Danny, look at me.

425
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,109
Does this face
sell fungal creams?

426
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:07,026
No. This face is cholesterol
drugs and above.

427
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:09,637
Playing hard to get, huh?

428
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:13,206
[laughs] No one's ever
accused me of that before.

429
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:16,557
Look, why don't I just give you
a number and see what you think?

430
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,776
Ooh, are-are you gonna
write it on a napkin

431
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:19,995
and slide it over to me?

432
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,390
No, I was just gonna say it.

433
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,305
Aw.
Do you want me

434
00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:26,915
to write it on a napkin
and slide it over to you?

435
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,438
Yah.

436
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,049
You got it.

437
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:35,271
Danny, you rat bastard.

438
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:36,925
What? I'm just making
your friend an offer.

439
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:39,145
Yeah, he's writing it on
a napkin like in the movies.

440
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,626
[scoffs] That's not an offer.

441
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,237
Do you know how amazing
this girl is?

442
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,587
Aw. You think I'm amazing?Stay out of this.

443
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:48,850
I'm serious..

444
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:50,504
Not only is she
a helluva salesperson,

445
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,462
she's the hardest worker
I've ever seen.

446
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,247
I know, that's why I'm trying
to steal her from you.

447
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:55,683
Well, then you're gonna have
to do a lot better than this,

448
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:56,945
because I promise you,

449
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,164
I'm not gonna let
her go without a fight.

450
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,905
You do not want that,
she's a biter.

451
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,559
Just think about it.

452
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:05,649
You know, I don't have to.

453
00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,173
Thanks, but I'm
happy where I am.

454
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,697
Let's go.

455
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:13,353
Can I just see
what he wrote on the napkin?

456
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:16,095
What napkin?

457
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,799
You know, spending time
with Michael and Halley today

458
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:27,976
really made me think
about our future children.

459
00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,111
Huh, what an interesting

460
00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:35,592
and completely
unforeseen development.

461
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,464
What are you thinking?

462
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:39,205
Well, I just can't decide.

463
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,598
Either five sets of triplets

464
00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:44,210
or three sets of quintuplets.

465
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:48,170
You know what? It doesn't matter
as long as they're healthy.

466
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,694
And divisible by three.

467
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,175
That's a lot
of babies, Sheldon.

468
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,916
Oh, only for humans.

469
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:58,093
For frogs, it's just
a drop in the bucket.

470
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,965
Well, I'm sorry
I'm not a frog.

471
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:03,054
Oh, don't feel bad, Amy.

472
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,839
You're good enough for me.

473
00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:07,668
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474
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:09,017
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