1
00:00:02,514 --> 00:00:04,181
Hey, Bernie.
2
00:00:04,183 --> 00:00:07,067
Hey, how's my little
astronautie hottie?
3
00:00:07,069 --> 00:00:08,502
Okay, I guess.
4
00:00:08,504 --> 00:00:11,238
It's just,
being cooped up in this...
5
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,657
tin can for weeks on end
is starting to get to me.
6
00:00:13,659 --> 00:00:15,326
Well, hang in there.
You just have a couple more
7
00:00:15,328 --> 00:00:16,677
days to go,
and then you'll be home.
8
00:00:16,679 --> 00:00:19,063
I know.
9
00:00:19,065 --> 00:00:20,147
I got to get back to work.
10
00:00:20,149 --> 00:00:21,148
I love you.
11
00:00:21,150 --> 00:00:22,149
Love you too.
12
00:00:22,151 --> 00:00:23,250
Hey, Bernie?
13
00:00:23,252 --> 00:00:27,204
Before you go, can you
do something for me?
14
00:00:27,206 --> 00:00:28,656
What do you want me to do?
15
00:00:28,658 --> 00:00:31,342
Okay, here it is.
16
00:00:31,344 --> 00:00:34,661
I really miss gravity.
17
00:00:34,663 --> 00:00:39,467
Can you drop something
so I can watch it fall?
18
00:00:40,952 --> 00:00:43,337
Really, you're serious?
19
00:00:46,424 --> 00:00:50,094
Okay.
20
00:00:50,096 --> 00:00:53,981
Oh, baby, you're killing me.
21
00:00:56,134 --> 00:00:57,851
Ugh.
22
00:00:57,853 --> 00:00:58,819
Hey, Sheldon?
23
00:00:58,821 --> 00:01:00,120
Hi. This came
for you today.
24
00:01:00,122 --> 00:01:01,071
It's from your mom.
25
00:01:01,073 --> 00:01:02,540
Oh!
26
00:01:02,542 --> 00:01:04,291
Thank you, Penny.
Mm-hmm.
27
00:01:04,293 --> 00:01:06,160
Yeah, w... here.
28
00:01:08,430 --> 00:01:10,130
For your troubles.
29
00:01:10,132 --> 00:01:13,334
Oh, boy, a whole dollar.
30
00:01:13,336 --> 00:01:15,302
Now, I can quit my paper route.
31
00:01:16,588 --> 00:01:17,955
So, what's in it?
32
00:01:17,957 --> 00:01:19,240
Mmm, doesn't matter.
33
00:01:19,242 --> 00:01:22,142
Half the time, he just ends up
playing with the box.
34
00:01:22,144 --> 00:01:25,712
Yeah, it's journals and research
papers I wrote as a child.
35
00:01:25,714 --> 00:01:28,065
Aw, how cute.
36
00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:29,416
Is this like a diary?
37
00:01:29,418 --> 00:01:32,169
No, that's my
potty training journal.
38
00:01:32,171 --> 00:01:34,605
Really, your
potty training journal?
39
00:01:34,607 --> 00:01:35,656
Yeah.
40
00:01:35,658 --> 00:01:37,358
And forgive my crude penmanship.
41
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,893
I didn't start typing
until I was six.
42
00:01:42,163 --> 00:01:45,499
"August 7, 8:42 a.m.
This is humiliating.
43
00:01:45,501 --> 00:01:47,067
What was wrong with diapers?"
44
00:01:49,088 --> 00:01:51,171
There are some charts
in the back
45
00:01:51,173 --> 00:01:52,840
where I kept track
of shape, color
46
00:01:52,842 --> 00:01:55,075
and consistency.
Oh!
47
00:01:55,827 --> 00:01:57,595
Disgusting.
48
00:01:57,597 --> 00:02:01,415
No, what's disgusting
is he's still keeping track.
49
00:02:02,217 --> 00:02:03,634
Why do you need
all this stuff...?
50
00:02:03,636 --> 00:02:04,768
No, no, no, no...
Sorry!
51
00:02:04,770 --> 00:02:06,020
I am glad you asked.
52
00:02:06,022 --> 00:02:07,137
Oh!
53
00:02:07,139 --> 00:02:10,474
Yeah, are you familiar
with the Higgs boson?
54
00:02:10,476 --> 00:02:13,444
Of course, it is...
it's been in the news.
55
00:02:13,446 --> 00:02:16,397
And it's a very famous boson.
56
00:02:17,616 --> 00:02:18,816
Nice try.
57
00:02:18,818 --> 00:02:21,485
Now, in 1964, Dr. Peter Higgs,
58
00:02:21,487 --> 00:02:23,487
accomplished self-promoter
and physicist,
59
00:02:23,489 --> 00:02:26,407
he wrote a paper
postulating the existence
60
00:02:26,409 --> 00:02:28,942
of a subatomic particle
called the Higgs boson.
61
00:02:28,944 --> 00:02:30,377
Now, initially,
62
00:02:30,379 --> 00:02:34,248
the paper was rejected, but
recently, he was proven right.
63
00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:36,967
And now he's on the fast
track to win a Nobel prize.
64
00:02:36,969 --> 00:02:40,137
Yeah, that's basically what I said.
Yeah...
65
00:02:40,139 --> 00:02:44,791
The point is Higgs
is being celebrated for work
66
00:02:44,793 --> 00:02:46,760
he did 50 years ago, so that
67
00:02:46,762 --> 00:02:49,129
got me thinking,
perhaps I've already hit
68
00:02:49,131 --> 00:02:52,149
upon the idea
that will win me my Nobel prize.
69
00:02:52,151 --> 00:02:54,101
I didn't know
they gave Nobel prizes
70
00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:56,303
for making boom-boom
in the potty.
71
00:02:57,489 --> 00:02:59,139
You really think
72
00:02:59,141 --> 00:03:02,076
there's some kind
of scientific discovery in here?
73
00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:04,578
Well, this box only covers
my work through nursery school.
74
00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:06,196
There's a good deal
more to come.
75
00:03:06,198 --> 00:03:09,316
I didn't really hit my academic
stride until I cut out
76
00:03:09,318 --> 00:03:12,002
that time-suck
known as "playing outdoors."
77
00:03:12,004 --> 00:03:13,954
So, you're going to spend
78
00:03:13,956 --> 00:03:15,656
hours and hours combing
through all this stuff?
79
00:03:15,658 --> 00:03:17,791
That's a good point.
80
00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:19,710
My time is much too valuable.
81
00:03:19,712 --> 00:03:22,212
You know, perhaps I should
find someone to do it for me.
82
00:03:22,214 --> 00:03:23,931
You know, someone with
a rudimentary understanding
83
00:03:23,933 --> 00:03:28,185
of science, but whose real
talents lie in menial labor.
84
00:03:32,907 --> 00:03:34,808
Not gonna happen.
85
00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:37,227
Yeah, well, if I didn't
think you could handle it,
86
00:03:37,229 --> 00:03:38,612
I wouldn't be asking.
87
00:03:38,614 --> 00:03:41,515
If you want help,
just hire a grad student.
88
00:03:41,517 --> 00:03:42,683
Maybe I could do it.
89
00:03:42,685 --> 00:03:45,369
You, really?
90
00:03:45,371 --> 00:03:48,122
You can assess
the quality of my work?
91
00:03:48,124 --> 00:03:49,623
Okay, um, here.
92
00:03:49,625 --> 00:03:51,742
I wrote this
when I was five years old.
93
00:03:51,744 --> 00:03:56,196
"A proof that algebraic topology
can never have a non-self
94
00:03:56,198 --> 00:03:59,299
contradictory set
of abelion groups."
95
00:04:03,238 --> 00:04:06,206
I'm just a blonde monkey
to you, aren't I?
96
00:04:10,428 --> 00:04:12,846
You said it, not me.
97
00:04:12,848 --> 00:04:16,517
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
98
00:04:16,519 --> 00:04:20,104
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
99
00:04:20,106 --> 00:04:21,655
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
100
00:04:21,657 --> 00:04:24,274
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
101
00:04:24,276 --> 00:04:26,427
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
102
00:04:26,429 --> 00:04:29,229
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
103
00:04:29,231 --> 00:04:31,348
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
104
00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:32,224
♪ Bang! ♪
105
00:04:32,225 --> 00:04:35,225
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x03 ♪
The Higgs Boson Observation
Original Air Date on October 11, 2012
106
00:04:35,226 --> 00:04:38,126
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
107
00:04:38,127 --> 00:04:40,826
All right, Ms. Jenson.
108
00:04:40,827 --> 00:04:43,661
Uh, before we begin,
may I offer you a refreshment?
109
00:04:43,663 --> 00:04:45,997
Water, coffee, tea,
110
00:04:45,999 --> 00:04:48,166
a marijuana cigarette?
111
00:04:49,035 --> 00:04:50,485
No, thanks. I'm fine.
112
00:04:50,487 --> 00:04:52,020
Now, are you sure?
113
00:04:52,022 --> 00:04:55,123
Everyone's smoking them.
114
00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:57,559
I think they're the best.
115
00:04:57,561 --> 00:04:58,944
I don't do drugs.
116
00:04:58,946 --> 00:05:00,562
Excellent, yeah.
117
00:05:00,564 --> 00:05:01,846
That was a ruse.
118
00:05:01,848 --> 00:05:03,348
They're not the best.
119
00:05:03,350 --> 00:05:05,183
Physics is the best.
120
00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:06,518
And by the way,
121
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,020
coffee was also
an unacceptable choice.
122
00:05:09,022 --> 00:05:12,741
All right, so I see here
you're from Des Moines, Iowa.
123
00:05:12,743 --> 00:05:15,327
Uh, you're summa cum laude
in theoretical physics
124
00:05:15,329 --> 00:05:16,695
from Stanford University.
125
00:05:16,697 --> 00:05:21,700
Oh, and two years ago, you had
a persistent ear infection.
126
00:05:21,702 --> 00:05:23,969
I hope that didn't
cause any hearing loss.
127
00:05:23,971 --> 00:05:25,770
No, of course not.
128
00:05:25,772 --> 00:05:27,255
How did you know about that?
129
00:05:27,257 --> 00:05:29,924
I did a comprehensive
background check.
130
00:05:29,926 --> 00:05:33,645
Medical records, credit reports,
criminal history.
131
00:05:33,647 --> 00:05:36,631
I trust you paid off
those parking tickets.
132
00:05:36,633 --> 00:05:38,049
Yes, I did.
133
00:05:38,051 --> 00:05:41,219
Hearing unimpaired, good.
134
00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:44,155
Look, Dr. Cooper,
I really want this position.
135
00:05:44,157 --> 00:05:46,024
It would be
an incredible honor to work
136
00:05:46,026 --> 00:05:47,609
for a man of your brilliance.
137
00:05:47,611 --> 00:05:51,229
Flattery will not get you
this job, Ms. Jenson.
138
00:05:51,231 --> 00:05:53,698
It's not flattery
if it's the truth.
139
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,034
Oh, well, thank you.
140
00:05:56,036 --> 00:05:57,502
Welcome aboard.
141
00:05:59,155 --> 00:06:01,039
You talk to Howard lately?
142
00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:02,123
Uh, yeah, last night.
143
00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:05,510
He kept making me
drop pencils for him.
144
00:06:07,296 --> 00:06:09,431
I got uncomfortable.
145
00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:10,748
Hey, Sheldon,
hope you're hungry.
146
00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:12,634
They're serving
macaroni and...
147
00:06:12,636 --> 00:06:15,136
cheese.
148
00:06:17,323 --> 00:06:19,524
Smooth.
149
00:06:21,527 --> 00:06:22,861
Hi.
150
00:06:22,863 --> 00:06:23,945
Hello.
151
00:06:23,947 --> 00:06:25,697
Sheldon, aren't you
going to introduce us?
152
00:06:25,699 --> 00:06:27,816
No. I have people
for that now.
153
00:06:27,818 --> 00:06:29,484
You're up.
154
00:06:29,486 --> 00:06:31,602
I'm Alex,
Dr. Cooper's new assistant.
155
00:06:31,604 --> 00:06:34,272
Ah, congratulations and may God
have mercy on your soul.
156
00:06:35,941 --> 00:06:37,275
I'm Leonard. This is Raj.
157
00:06:37,277 --> 00:06:38,576
It's nice to meet you.
158
00:06:38,578 --> 00:06:40,128
I'm so excited
to be working with Dr...
159
00:06:40,130 --> 00:06:41,129
Yeah, please reserve
160
00:06:41,131 --> 00:06:43,081
chitchat for your breaks,
Ms. Jenson.
161
00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:46,000
Yeah, FYI,
there will be no breaks.
162
00:06:47,336 --> 00:06:50,255
I should probably get to work.
163
00:06:52,174 --> 00:06:53,341
She seems nice.
164
00:06:53,343 --> 00:06:54,592
Hey, you already
got a girlfriend.
165
00:06:54,594 --> 00:06:56,294
I call dibs.
166
00:06:56,296 --> 00:06:59,080
All I said was,
"She seems nice."
167
00:06:59,082 --> 00:07:00,965
Yeah, well, I love her.
168
00:07:08,491 --> 00:07:10,842
Hey, I wasn't expecting
to hear from you today.
169
00:07:10,844 --> 00:07:12,026
Everything okay?
170
00:07:12,028 --> 00:07:14,746
Uh, no, not really.
171
00:07:15,898 --> 00:07:17,549
What's wrong?
172
00:07:17,551 --> 00:07:19,451
Well, remember the...
Soyuz capsule
173
00:07:19,453 --> 00:07:21,269
they were sending
to bring us home?
174
00:07:21,271 --> 00:07:22,237
Uh-huh.
175
00:07:22,239 --> 00:07:23,505
It's delayed.
176
00:07:23,507 --> 00:07:25,323
We're gonna be here
at least another week.
177
00:07:25,325 --> 00:07:26,624
Maybe ten days.
178
00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:29,427
It's the Russians,
so you don't know.
179
00:07:31,514 --> 00:07:34,716
They left dogs up here
in the '60s.
180
00:07:36,669 --> 00:07:38,219
Come on, Howard.
181
00:07:38,221 --> 00:07:40,305
No one's leaving you up there.
182
00:07:40,307 --> 00:07:42,557
I don't know how much longer
I can take this.
183
00:07:42,559 --> 00:07:46,444
I can't sleep, and zero gravity
is giving me crazy acid reflux.
184
00:07:47,481 --> 00:07:50,231
I'm down to my last three Tums.
185
00:07:51,517 --> 00:07:53,318
You're going to be fine.
186
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,954
You survived that Weight
Watchers cruise with your mom.
187
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,825
And they ran out
of low-fat ice cream on day two.
188
00:08:02,261 --> 00:08:05,363
Just calm down and take
a few deep breaths.
189
00:08:05,365 --> 00:08:06,831
Okay, okay.
190
00:08:10,053 --> 00:08:13,338
What am I doing?
I'm using up all the oxygen.
191
00:08:16,759 --> 00:08:21,129
If I die, promise you'll never
have sex with another man.
192
00:08:26,335 --> 00:08:28,937
Oh, yeah.
193
00:08:30,456 --> 00:08:33,658
I'm a man-eater now.
194
00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:37,779
Okay, for the final touch,
this is an eyelash curler.
195
00:08:37,781 --> 00:08:41,533
You just place it on your lashes
and squeeze it closed.
196
00:08:41,535 --> 00:08:44,085
Oh, I don't know.
197
00:08:44,087 --> 00:08:46,871
Looks like something used
by Tinker Bell's gynecologist.
198
00:08:49,875 --> 00:08:53,077
Who I hope for her sake
is not Captain Hook, so...
199
00:08:58,083 --> 00:08:59,217
Who are you calling?
200
00:08:59,219 --> 00:09:00,685
I'm going to
video-chat Sheldon.
201
00:09:00,687 --> 00:09:01,603
Mmm.
202
00:09:01,605 --> 00:09:03,054
If my new look
leads to phone sex,
203
00:09:03,056 --> 00:09:05,173
I'm going to have to ask you
to leave the room.
204
00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:08,843
Dr. Cooper's office.
205
00:09:08,845 --> 00:09:10,778
Oh, hello. Who are you?
206
00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:13,047
I'm Alex,
Dr. Cooper's assistant.
207
00:09:13,049 --> 00:09:14,015
Can I help you?
208
00:09:14,017 --> 00:09:15,466
I'd like to speak to Sheldon.
209
00:09:15,468 --> 00:09:17,969
I'm sorry. He's asked me
to hold all calls
210
00:09:17,971 --> 00:09:20,271
unless you're Stephen Hawking,
his mother
211
00:09:20,273 --> 00:09:22,607
or himself from the future.
212
00:09:23,442 --> 00:09:24,709
All right.
213
00:09:24,711 --> 00:09:26,544
Well, tell him Amy called.
Last name?
214
00:09:26,546 --> 00:09:27,945
He knows my last name.
215
00:09:27,947 --> 00:09:29,614
I'm his girlfriend.
216
00:09:29,616 --> 00:09:31,549
We have a contract
and everything.
217
00:09:31,551 --> 00:09:33,801
I'll send you a PDF.
218
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:37,555
All right, I will
tell him you called.
219
00:09:39,558 --> 00:09:41,676
Hmm, that's weird.
What?
220
00:09:41,678 --> 00:09:45,129
Sheldon told me he had
a new assistant named Alex.
221
00:09:45,131 --> 00:09:47,382
He didn't mention
that Alex was a girl.
222
00:09:47,384 --> 00:09:49,884
Maybe he didn't notice.
223
00:09:49,886 --> 00:09:51,152
You're right.
224
00:09:51,154 --> 00:09:52,770
I don't have to worry
about Sheldon.
225
00:09:52,772 --> 00:09:55,490
No, you do not.
226
00:09:56,742 --> 00:09:59,344
It's her I have to worry about.
227
00:09:59,346 --> 00:10:00,862
Oh, Amy, really?
228
00:10:00,864 --> 00:10:02,897
She is not going to come on
to Sheldon.
229
00:10:02,899 --> 00:10:04,282
Oh, really?
230
00:10:04,284 --> 00:10:06,701
Look at this face.
231
00:10:09,071 --> 00:10:11,589
How can any woman
spend eight hours a day
232
00:10:11,591 --> 00:10:15,076
alone with this face
and not fall in love with it?
233
00:10:15,078 --> 00:10:17,078
Well, for starters,
234
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,214
at some point,
that face starts talking.
235
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:26,646
Amy, this is crazy.
236
00:10:26,648 --> 00:10:28,514
You have nothing
to be suspicious about.
237
00:10:28,516 --> 00:10:29,732
I'm not suspicious.
238
00:10:29,734 --> 00:10:32,185
I just want to stop in,
say hi to my boyfriend
239
00:10:32,187 --> 00:10:33,603
and meet his new assistant.
240
00:10:33,605 --> 00:10:36,572
Aha!
241
00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:41,477
Can we go now?
242
00:10:41,479 --> 00:10:42,645
Hang on.
243
00:10:49,536 --> 00:10:50,553
What are you doing?
244
00:10:50,555 --> 00:10:52,088
Isn't it obvious?
245
00:10:52,090 --> 00:10:55,458
I'm spreading my scent
to mark my territory.
246
00:10:56,710 --> 00:10:59,879
Come on, Amy.
That is not gonna work.
247
00:10:59,881 --> 00:11:03,049
Really? Because just before you
became my best friend,
248
00:11:03,051 --> 00:11:06,052
I did this
all over your apartment.
249
00:11:10,691 --> 00:11:13,092
Has your, uh, assistant
said anything about me?
250
00:11:13,094 --> 00:11:14,810
In fact, she has.
251
00:11:14,812 --> 00:11:19,248
Uh, her exact words were,
"What is that guy's problem?"
252
00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:23,402
I'm in her head.
Let the dance begin.
253
00:11:26,106 --> 00:11:28,124
Here's your frozen yogurt,
Dr. Cooper.
254
00:11:28,126 --> 00:11:29,458
This should be fun.
255
00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:31,193
Half chocolate,
half vanilla,
256
00:11:31,195 --> 00:11:33,079
side by side, not swirled?
Yes.
257
00:11:33,081 --> 00:11:35,047
Half a teaspoon of sprinkles?
Rainbow, not chocolate.
258
00:11:35,049 --> 00:11:36,866
Two cherries?
One on top, one on the bottom.
259
00:11:36,868 --> 00:11:38,834
Stems removed?
Um...
260
00:11:38,836 --> 00:11:40,052
top one, yes.
261
00:11:40,054 --> 00:11:41,737
I didn't check the one
on the bottom.
262
00:11:41,739 --> 00:11:43,839
Oh...!
263
00:11:45,542 --> 00:11:47,460
I'm so sorry, Dr. Cooper.
264
00:11:47,462 --> 00:11:48,811
It's all right, Alex.
265
00:11:48,813 --> 00:11:51,614
I'm not mad at you;
I'm just disappointed.
266
00:11:53,433 --> 00:11:55,001
Wait, Alex.
Do you want to join us?
267
00:11:55,003 --> 00:11:56,018
Um...
268
00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:57,353
Uh, Alex, a moment.
269
00:11:57,355 --> 00:12:00,389
I need a word with
Dr. Hofstadter.
270
00:12:02,476 --> 00:12:03,826
Do you think it's appropriate
271
00:12:03,828 --> 00:12:06,362
for her to sit with us,
given her station?
272
00:12:07,347 --> 00:12:09,532
Given her what?
273
00:12:09,534 --> 00:12:12,785
If I've learned anything from
British television shows on PBS,
274
00:12:12,787 --> 00:12:17,623
it's that servants dine
downstairs with their own kind.
275
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:20,409
What?
276
00:12:20,411 --> 00:12:22,911
It's a kindness, Leonard.
277
00:12:22,913 --> 00:12:25,681
Otherwise, you're cruelly
tempting them with a glimpse
278
00:12:25,683 --> 00:12:29,051
of a world that's just beyond
their soot-stained fingertips.
279
00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:32,087
Oh, sure.
280
00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:33,422
Please join us.
281
00:12:33,424 --> 00:12:36,809
Oh, okay. Thank you.
282
00:12:36,811 --> 00:12:38,611
So, Alex, what's the topic
of your dissertation?
283
00:12:38,613 --> 00:12:40,646
I'm looking
for Trojan asteroids
284
00:12:40,648 --> 00:12:42,214
at Earth's L-Five
Lagrange point.
285
00:12:42,216 --> 00:12:44,233
Oh, that happens to be
286
00:12:44,235 --> 00:12:46,369
Dr. Koothrappali's
field of expertise.
287
00:12:46,371 --> 00:12:49,071
You two have a lot
to talk about.
288
00:12:50,824 --> 00:12:52,592
Is that true?
289
00:13:03,887 --> 00:13:05,287
Is he all right?
290
00:13:05,289 --> 00:13:07,506
No.
291
00:13:10,377 --> 00:13:15,147
But compared to your boss,
he's the poster boy for sanity.
292
00:13:15,149 --> 00:13:17,800
It's okay, I've been around
scientists all my life.
293
00:13:17,802 --> 00:13:19,518
My dad's an astronomer at SETI.
294
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,989
Oh, SETI-- the Search for
Extraterrestrial Intelligence.
295
00:13:22,991 --> 00:13:25,691
You should introduce him
to Sheldon. The search is over.
296
00:13:25,693 --> 00:13:28,977
So, what kind of research
are you doing?
297
00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:30,229
High-energy lasers.
298
00:13:30,231 --> 00:13:31,414
Ooh. Military?
299
00:13:31,416 --> 00:13:33,416
Not yet, but I can remove
unwanted hair
300
00:13:33,418 --> 00:13:34,983
from two miles away.
301
00:13:36,987 --> 00:13:37,953
You were right.
302
00:13:37,955 --> 00:13:39,488
I had nothing
to worry about.
303
00:13:39,490 --> 00:13:41,691
That skank's your
problem, not mine.
304
00:13:42,526 --> 00:13:44,993
You're very funny,
Dr. Hofstadter.
305
00:13:44,995 --> 00:13:45,928
Thank you.
306
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:48,497
Aah! Cherry stem!
Cherry stem!
307
00:13:51,718 --> 00:13:54,904
How you doing, Howie?
You feeling a little better?
308
00:13:54,906 --> 00:13:59,492
Oh, a lot better, thanks.
One sec.
309
00:14:00,510 --> 00:14:03,562
Listen close.
I don't have a lot of time.
310
00:14:03,564 --> 00:14:04,864
I need you to go to my house.
311
00:14:04,866 --> 00:14:07,199
In my bedroom, you'll find
a model rocket.
312
00:14:07,201 --> 00:14:10,119
I want you to take it
and bring it back to your place.
313
00:14:10,121 --> 00:14:11,754
Okay...
314
00:14:11,756 --> 00:14:14,990
Step two: Build a version
roughly 14 stories high.
315
00:14:16,076 --> 00:14:18,327
Fill it full of rocket fuel
and come get me.
316
00:14:18,329 --> 00:14:20,696
I'll leave the door unlocked.
317
00:14:23,533 --> 00:14:25,534
Howie, honey, maybe you should
talk to someone,
318
00:14:25,536 --> 00:14:27,837
let them know you're having
a little anxiety.
319
00:14:27,839 --> 00:14:29,638
No, no, I'm fine.
320
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,640
No anxiety!
321
00:14:31,642 --> 00:14:33,709
We should probably talk in code.
322
00:14:33,711 --> 00:14:36,378
From now on, "frog" is me,
"sandwich" means you
323
00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:38,981
and "lemon" means rocket.
So, come on, sandwich,
324
00:14:38,983 --> 00:14:42,351
build me a lemon 'cause froggy
wants to come home!
325
00:14:47,557 --> 00:14:51,527
Look at you,
putting on a brave face.
326
00:14:51,529 --> 00:14:53,896
There's nothing
to be brave about.
327
00:14:53,898 --> 00:14:55,164
Everything's fine.
328
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:56,782
Really?
329
00:14:56,784 --> 00:14:59,168
I don't know how much you know
about primate behavior,
330
00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:01,504
but Sheldon's assistant
was clearly courting Leonard.
331
00:15:03,039 --> 00:15:05,374
Were she a mandrill,
she would have bent over
332
00:15:05,376 --> 00:15:06,959
and displayed her brightly
colored hindquarters
333
00:15:06,961 --> 00:15:09,178
like a big red welcome mat.
334
00:15:10,614 --> 00:15:12,748
By the way, you try that
at the junior prom,
335
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,467
you get kicked out.
336
00:15:16,269 --> 00:15:19,522
Okay, maybe she was flirting
with him, but who cares?
337
00:15:19,524 --> 00:15:20,689
Look, I don't even know
338
00:15:20,691 --> 00:15:22,558
where my relationship is
with Leonard is right now.
339
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,727
So says your
prefrontal cortex.
340
00:15:24,729 --> 00:15:26,896
But meanwhile, the limbic system
of your brain is calculating
341
00:15:26,898 --> 00:15:29,648
that if another woman
is attracted to Leonard,
342
00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:30,983
it must be because
he's desirable.
343
00:15:30,985 --> 00:15:33,569
Well, of course
he's desirable.
344
00:15:33,571 --> 00:15:35,321
I mean, he's great.
345
00:15:35,323 --> 00:15:38,624
He's smart, he's sweet,
and, ooh, in the bedroom, whew,
346
00:15:38,626 --> 00:15:41,494
let me tell you,
he really tries.
347
00:15:43,947 --> 00:15:45,965
So it does bother you.
348
00:15:45,967 --> 00:15:48,617
Fine, it bothers
me a little.
349
00:15:48,619 --> 00:15:49,885
No. You know what?
350
00:15:49,887 --> 00:15:51,837
This is stupid.
It doesn't bother me.
351
00:15:53,423 --> 00:15:55,007
Okay, it bothers me.
352
00:15:55,976 --> 00:15:58,126
But only because she
wouldn't stop laughing.
353
00:15:58,128 --> 00:16:00,429
Leonard is not that funny.
354
00:16:01,765 --> 00:16:02,898
And there you have it;
355
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:05,684
prefrontal cortex reasoning
versus limbic lust.
356
00:16:05,686 --> 00:16:08,070
If this were a boxing match,
they might call it
357
00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:11,974
"The thrilla adjacent
to the amygdala."
358
00:16:14,445 --> 00:16:15,828
If you were
a brain scientist,
359
00:16:15,830 --> 00:16:18,581
you would be busting
a gut right now!
360
00:16:22,269 --> 00:16:24,003
So, how was work today?
361
00:16:24,005 --> 00:16:25,788
Ah, it was
all right, I guess.
362
00:16:25,790 --> 00:16:28,941
Got to Heimlich a
cherry stem out of Sheldon.
363
00:16:28,943 --> 00:16:30,843
Caught Raj right in the eye.
364
00:16:30,845 --> 00:16:32,344
Oh!
365
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:34,847
You're kidding.
366
00:16:34,849 --> 00:16:36,131
No, Raj had to go to the nurse.
367
00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:38,767
Wow. Anything else?
368
00:16:38,769 --> 00:16:43,439
Mmm, the nurse is a woman,
so he couldn't talk to her.
369
00:16:43,441 --> 00:16:45,340
She had to bring him
a Grover puppet
370
00:16:45,342 --> 00:16:47,509
so he could point at what hurt.
371
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:52,932
Is that it?
372
00:16:52,934 --> 00:16:54,850
Isn't that enough?
373
00:16:54,852 --> 00:16:56,886
It had the weaponized fruit
and a puppet.
374
00:16:56,888 --> 00:16:58,821
What more do you want?
375
00:16:58,823 --> 00:17:02,190
Oh, good, Leonard, you're here.
Science news.
376
00:17:02,192 --> 00:17:05,077
This will interest you.
And, Penny, feel free
377
00:17:05,079 --> 00:17:06,495
to paint your nails.
378
00:17:07,864 --> 00:17:09,698
What do you got?
379
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:11,166
I believe Alex may
have unearthed
380
00:17:11,168 --> 00:17:12,635
the grade school
science project
381
00:17:12,637 --> 00:17:14,870
that could be my ticket
to the Nobel Prize.
382
00:17:14,872 --> 00:17:15,838
Behold.
383
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:19,008
"Magnets: What Do
They Stick To?"
384
00:17:20,510 --> 00:17:24,647
If the answer is "metal,"
it's not exactly groundbreaking.
385
00:17:24,649 --> 00:17:27,233
The original title was
"A Rederivation
386
00:17:27,235 --> 00:17:29,818
of Maxwell's Equations
Regarding Electromagnetism""
387
00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:32,605
I dumbed it down because some
of the more religious people
388
00:17:32,607 --> 00:17:35,223
in town were starting
to say I was a witch.
389
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,062
Sheldon thinks the approach in
this paper might change the way
390
00:17:40,064 --> 00:17:41,563
we calculate ferromagnetic
hysteresis.
391
00:17:41,565 --> 00:17:44,533
Oh, it's about time.
I hated the old way.
392
00:17:45,919 --> 00:17:47,653
Hi. I'm Penny.
Alex.
393
00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:49,204
Uh, do you work
with Dr. Hofstadter?
394
00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:50,956
In a way.
395
00:17:53,143 --> 00:17:56,879
We've kind of been involved
in a five-year experiment.
396
00:17:56,881 --> 00:17:59,081
Oh. Well, you're lucky.
He seems very talented.
397
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:01,917
And I'm sure a lot of people
want to work with him.
398
00:18:01,919 --> 00:18:05,087
Well, a lot of people can't.
399
00:18:05,089 --> 00:18:07,106
Uh, hey.
400
00:18:07,974 --> 00:18:09,108
Where are we going?
401
00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:12,361
My limbic system wants
to take your pants off.
402
00:18:15,081 --> 00:18:16,482
She seems nice.
403
00:18:17,511 --> 00:18:21,029
Notice people on your own time.
We're working.
404
00:18:25,441 --> 00:18:27,542
Hey, Howie, how you feeling?
405
00:18:27,544 --> 00:18:29,143
Better. Much better.
406
00:18:29,145 --> 00:18:32,530
The other astronauts
held me down,
407
00:18:32,532 --> 00:18:35,483
gave me a shot.
408
00:18:40,356 --> 00:18:42,957
Oh...
409
00:18:42,959 --> 00:18:46,527
Attention, people of Earth:
410
00:18:46,529 --> 00:18:51,732
Tonight, there will be two moons
in the sky.
411
00:18:53,118 --> 00:18:54,902
Howie, stop that.
412
00:18:54,904 --> 00:18:57,205
NASA's watching this!
413
00:18:57,207 --> 00:19:00,658
Put your pants back on!
414
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:02,757
Whee!
415
00:19:05,379 --> 00:19:07,279
Whee!
416
00:19:07,391 --> 00:19:11,391
== sync, corrected by elderman ==