1 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,713 All right, just a few more feet and.... 2 00:00:13,885 --> 00:00:17,116 Here we are, gentlemen, the Gates of Elzebub. 3 00:00:17,589 --> 00:00:18,783 - Good Lord. - Oh. 4 00:00:18,959 --> 00:00:22,190 Don't panic. This is what the last 97 hours have been about. 5 00:00:22,363 --> 00:00:23,387 Stay frosty. 6 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:28,093 There's a horde of armed goblins on that gate guarding the Sword of Azeroth. 7 00:00:28,272 --> 00:00:31,366 Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders, raise your wands. 8 00:00:31,543 --> 00:00:32,635 Lock and load. 9 00:00:32,812 --> 00:00:34,973 Raj, blow the gates. 10 00:00:35,148 --> 00:00:36,376 Blowing the gates. 11 00:00:37,051 --> 00:00:41,078 Control, shift B. 12 00:00:43,259 --> 00:00:46,023 - Oh, my God, so many goblins. - Aah! 13 00:00:46,198 --> 00:00:48,257 Don't just stand there. Slash and move. 14 00:00:48,434 --> 00:00:49,594 Stay in formation. 15 00:00:49,769 --> 00:00:53,364 - Leonard, you got one on your tail. - That's all right, my tail's prehensile. 16 00:00:53,541 --> 00:00:54,701 I got him, Leonard. 17 00:00:54,976 --> 00:00:58,673 Tonight, I spice my meat with goblin blood. 18 00:00:58,849 --> 00:01:00,680 Raj, it's a trap. They're flanking us. 19 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,410 - Oh, he's got me. - Oh! 20 00:01:02,588 --> 00:01:05,079 Sheldon, he's got Raj. Use your sleep spell. 21 00:01:05,492 --> 00:01:07,016 Sheldon. Sheldon. 22 00:01:07,194 --> 00:01:11,255 I've got the Sword of Azeroth. 23 00:01:11,433 --> 00:01:14,493 - Forget the sword, Sheldon, help Raj. - There is no more Sheldon. 24 00:01:14,671 --> 00:01:16,866 I am the sword master. 25 00:01:17,041 --> 00:01:19,475 - Leonard, look out. - Damn it, man, we're dying here. 26 00:01:19,645 --> 00:01:21,044 Goodbye, peasants. 27 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:23,541 The bastard teleported. 28 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:28,651 He's selling the Sword of Azeroth on eBay. 29 00:01:29,159 --> 00:01:31,684 You betrayed us for money? Who are you? 30 00:01:31,862 --> 00:01:33,124 I'm a rogue knight elf. 31 00:01:33,298 --> 00:01:35,789 Don't you people read character descriptions? 32 00:01:35,968 --> 00:01:38,436 Wait, wait, wait. Somebody just clicked "Buy It Now." 33 00:01:38,605 --> 00:01:41,836 I am the sword master. 34 00:02:05,179 --> 00:02:06,578 Whoo! I'm all sweaty. 35 00:02:06,748 --> 00:02:08,841 Wanna log on to Second Life and go swimming? 36 00:02:09,018 --> 00:02:11,316 I just built a virtual pool. 37 00:02:11,622 --> 00:02:14,887 No. I can't look at you or your avatar right now. 38 00:02:18,999 --> 00:02:21,160 Sounds like your neighbor's home. 39 00:02:22,536 --> 00:02:24,094 Excuse me. 40 00:02:24,272 --> 00:02:27,673 Don't forget the mail you took so you'd have an excuse to talk to her. 41 00:02:27,845 --> 00:02:30,177 Oh, right, right, right. 42 00:02:30,348 --> 00:02:33,784 Stealing snail mail, very old school. I like it. 43 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:38,456 Penny, the mailman did it again. He-- Oh, sorry. 44 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,457 Um, no, hi, Leonard. This is Doug. 45 00:02:40,629 --> 00:02:43,826 - Doug, this is my neighbor, Leonard. - What's up, bro? 46 00:02:45,603 --> 00:02:47,468 Not much. 47 00:02:49,008 --> 00:02:50,532 Bro. Heh. 48 00:02:51,078 --> 00:02:52,306 Is everything okay? 49 00:02:52,479 --> 00:02:54,777 yeah, no. I just-- I got your mail again, here. 50 00:02:54,949 --> 00:02:57,474 Oh, thank you. I've got to talk to that mailman. 51 00:02:57,654 --> 00:02:59,884 Oh, no, that's probably not such a good idea. 52 00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:05,895 Civil servants have a documented propensity to, you know, snap, so.... 53 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,691 Okay. Well, thank you again. 54 00:03:08,869 --> 00:03:10,860 No problem. Bye. 55 00:03:11,239 --> 00:03:14,299 Oh, and bye, bro. Heh. 56 00:03:21,588 --> 00:03:23,818 Penny for your thoughts. 57 00:03:24,992 --> 00:03:27,859 - What's the matter? - No, I'm fine. 58 00:03:28,031 --> 00:03:30,864 Penny's fine, the guy she's kissing is really fine. 59 00:03:31,969 --> 00:03:35,336 Kissing? What kind of kissing? Cheeks, lips, chase, French? 60 00:03:37,043 --> 00:03:39,034 What is wrong with you? 61 00:03:39,948 --> 00:03:41,677 I'm a romantic. 62 00:03:43,486 --> 00:03:45,647 Don't tell me that your hopeless infatuation... 63 00:03:45,822 --> 00:03:47,722 ...is devolving into pointless jealousy. 64 00:03:47,892 --> 00:03:50,759 Look, I'm not jealous. I'm just a little concerned for her. 65 00:03:50,929 --> 00:03:52,988 Didn't like the look of the guy she was with. 66 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,963 Because he looks better than you? 67 00:03:56,138 --> 00:03:57,662 yeah. 68 00:03:58,407 --> 00:04:00,204 He was kind of dreamy. 69 00:04:00,844 --> 00:04:02,937 At least now you can retrieve the black box... 70 00:04:03,114 --> 00:04:06,572 ...from the smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her... 71 00:04:06,752 --> 00:04:10,620 ...and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again. 72 00:04:11,926 --> 00:04:15,987 I disagree. Love is not a sprint. It's a marathon. 73 00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:21,103 A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms... 74 00:04:21,273 --> 00:04:24,242 ...or hits you with the pepper spray. 75 00:04:24,845 --> 00:04:26,107 No, I'm done with Penny. 76 00:04:26,714 --> 00:04:29,649 I'm gonna be more realistic and go after someone my own speed. 77 00:04:29,819 --> 00:04:31,878 - Like who? - I don't know. 78 00:04:32,055 --> 00:04:33,079 Olivia Geiger? 79 00:04:33,256 --> 00:04:37,124 The dietitian at the cafeteria with the limp and the lazy eye? 80 00:04:38,731 --> 00:04:41,199 - yeah. - Well, I don't think you have a shot there. 81 00:04:42,704 --> 00:04:45,832 I have noticed that Leslie Winkle recently started shaving her legs. 82 00:04:46,008 --> 00:04:49,068 Now, given that winter is coming, one can assume she's signaling... 83 00:04:49,246 --> 00:04:50,440 ...sexual availability. 84 00:04:51,349 --> 00:04:53,340 I don't know. you guys work in the same lab. 85 00:04:53,719 --> 00:04:55,812 - So? - There are pitfalls. 86 00:04:55,989 --> 00:04:57,479 Trust me, I know. 87 00:04:57,658 --> 00:05:00,786 When it comes to sexual-harassment law... 88 00:05:00,963 --> 00:05:03,932 ...I'm a bit of a self-taught expert. 89 00:05:05,469 --> 00:05:08,802 Howard, if I were to ask Leslie Winkle out, it would just be for dinner. 90 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:12,809 I'm not gonna walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me. 91 00:05:12,981 --> 00:05:15,245 Oh, then you're probably okay. 92 00:05:18,955 --> 00:05:20,923 - Hello, Leslie. - Hi, Leonard. 93 00:05:21,092 --> 00:05:23,185 - I'd like to propose an experiment-- - Goggles. 94 00:05:23,362 --> 00:05:24,659 Right. 95 00:05:26,766 --> 00:05:29,792 - I would like to propose an experiment. - Hang on. 96 00:05:29,971 --> 00:05:33,338 I'm trying to see how long it takes a 500-kilowatt oxygen-iodine laser... 97 00:05:33,509 --> 00:05:35,636 ...to heat up my cup of noodles. 98 00:05:36,748 --> 00:05:39,546 I've done it. About two seconds, 2.6 for minestrone. 99 00:05:46,328 --> 00:05:49,525 Anyway, I was thinking more of a biosocial exploration... 100 00:05:49,699 --> 00:05:51,564 ...with a neurochemical overlay. 101 00:05:53,238 --> 00:05:55,570 Wait, are you asking me out? 102 00:05:56,475 --> 00:05:58,909 I was going to characterize it as the modification... 103 00:05:59,079 --> 00:06:03,209 ...of our colleague/friendship paradigm with the addition of a date-like component. 104 00:06:03,385 --> 00:06:07,219 But we don't need to quibble over terminology. 105 00:06:07,391 --> 00:06:09,291 What sort of experiment would you propose? 106 00:06:09,461 --> 00:06:11,986 There is a generally accepted pattern in this area. 107 00:06:12,165 --> 00:06:15,396 I pick you up, take you to a restaurant, then we would see a movie. 108 00:06:15,569 --> 00:06:17,901 Probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents... 109 00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,166 ...of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock. 110 00:06:20,811 --> 00:06:21,835 Interesting. 111 00:06:22,012 --> 00:06:24,572 And would you agree the primary way we would evaluate... 112 00:06:24,749 --> 00:06:28,617 ...the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical reaction... 113 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:32,224 - ...during the good-night kiss? - Heart rate, pheromones, etcetera, yes. 114 00:06:32,861 --> 00:06:34,852 Why don't we stipulate the date goes well... 115 00:06:35,031 --> 00:06:36,828 ...and move to the key variable? 116 00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,696 - you mean kiss you now? - yes. 117 00:06:38,869 --> 00:06:41,929 - Define the parameters of the kiss. - Closed mouth, but romantic. 118 00:06:42,108 --> 00:06:43,871 - Mint? - Thank you. 119 00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:54,855 - Shall I count down from three? - No, I think it needs to be spontaneous. 120 00:07:01,969 --> 00:07:04,233 - What do you think? - you proposed the experiment. 121 00:07:04,406 --> 00:07:06,806 I think you should present your findings first. 122 00:07:06,976 --> 00:07:08,534 Fair enough. 123 00:07:08,712 --> 00:07:13,706 On the plus side, it was a good kiss, reasonable technique, no extraneous spittle. 124 00:07:14,988 --> 00:07:17,218 On the other hand, no arousal. 125 00:07:18,359 --> 00:07:19,849 - None? - None. 126 00:07:20,829 --> 00:07:22,057 Ah. 127 00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:25,526 Well, thank you for your time. 128 00:07:25,702 --> 00:07:27,397 - Thank you. - Hmm. 129 00:07:31,545 --> 00:07:33,012 None at all? 130 00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:43,113 Sheldon, if you were a robot and I knew and you didn't... 131 00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,958 ...would you want me to tell you? 132 00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,892 That depends. 133 00:07:50,071 --> 00:07:55,737 When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it? 134 00:07:57,014 --> 00:08:01,041 Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side. 135 00:08:01,621 --> 00:08:03,589 Okay. Uh, let me ask you this. 136 00:08:03,991 --> 00:08:05,982 When I learn that I'm a robot... 137 00:08:06,161 --> 00:08:09,892 ...would I be bound by Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics? 138 00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:14,326 you might be bound by them right now. 139 00:08:17,109 --> 00:08:18,133 That's true. 140 00:08:18,311 --> 00:08:22,748 - Have you ever harmed a human being? - Of course not. 141 00:08:22,918 --> 00:08:26,115 Have you ever harmed yourself, except in cases where a human being... 142 00:08:26,289 --> 00:08:27,950 ...would have been endangered? 143 00:08:28,125 --> 00:08:30,616 - Well, no. - I smell robot. 144 00:08:34,334 --> 00:08:38,236 - Hey, what's going on? - Internet's been down for half an hour. 145 00:08:40,543 --> 00:08:42,101 Also, Sheldon may be a robot. 146 00:08:44,182 --> 00:08:46,742 So how did it go with Leslie? 147 00:08:46,919 --> 00:08:51,253 Oh, we tried kissing, but the Earth didn't move. 148 00:08:51,425 --> 00:08:55,862 I mean, any more than the 383 miles that it was gonna move anyway. 149 00:08:57,701 --> 00:08:59,794 Oh, I've seen that look before. 150 00:08:59,971 --> 00:09:03,338 This is just gonna be two weeks of moping and tedious emo songs... 151 00:09:03,509 --> 00:09:06,967 ...and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats. 152 00:09:08,817 --> 00:09:10,546 I don't know if I can take it. 153 00:09:11,454 --> 00:09:13,354 you could power down. 154 00:09:15,659 --> 00:09:19,425 Well, as usual, Wolowitz has the solution. 155 00:09:20,132 --> 00:09:23,260 I happen to know a place where there are plenty of eligible women... 156 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,235 ...and Leonard could have his pick. 157 00:09:35,154 --> 00:09:37,054 Remember the Latin hips. 158 00:09:37,424 --> 00:09:40,291 Shoulders stay still and we sway. 159 00:09:45,535 --> 00:09:47,833 One, two, three. 160 00:09:48,507 --> 00:09:50,600 Five, six, seven. 161 00:09:51,177 --> 00:09:54,203 I think Mrs. Tishman's got her eye on you. 162 00:09:54,649 --> 00:09:56,981 I've been there. you're in for a treat. 163 00:10:11,842 --> 00:10:12,866 Oh, good Lord. 164 00:10:23,659 --> 00:10:25,650 God, that's a good song. 165 00:10:26,229 --> 00:10:29,392 If you're compiling a mix CD for a double suicide. 166 00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:33,729 Oh, I hope that scratching post is for you. 167 00:10:33,907 --> 00:10:36,899 I know what you're thinking. I've taken your asthma into account. 168 00:10:37,078 --> 00:10:39,069 There's a feline geneticist in San Diego... 169 00:10:39,248 --> 00:10:42,274 ...who's developed the cutest little hypoallergenic calicos. 170 00:10:42,452 --> 00:10:44,352 - Listen-- - I've been thinking about names. 171 00:10:44,522 --> 00:10:49,016 I'm kind of torn between Einstein, Newton and Sergeant Fuzzy Boots. 172 00:10:49,529 --> 00:10:52,293 Do you think you can satisfy your need for a relationship... 173 00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:54,697 ...with a genetically-altered cat? 174 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:58,705 Maybe, if it's a cute little cuddly cat. 175 00:10:58,876 --> 00:11:01,401 Oh, come on, Leonard.... 176 00:11:03,082 --> 00:11:04,879 This is obviously about Penny. 177 00:11:07,154 --> 00:11:08,553 It doesn't matter. 178 00:11:08,724 --> 00:11:11,625 The woman's not interested in me. The woman rejected me. 179 00:11:11,794 --> 00:11:14,160 Okay, look. Ahem. 180 00:11:14,865 --> 00:11:18,357 You have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny... 181 00:11:18,537 --> 00:11:22,200 ...as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of a black hole... 182 00:11:22,376 --> 00:11:25,777 ...is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker. 183 00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:33,147 Nevertheless, I do feel obligated to point out to you... 184 00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:35,350 ...that she did not reject you. 185 00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:37,455 you did not ask her out. 186 00:11:39,034 --> 00:11:40,433 you're right. 187 00:11:40,835 --> 00:11:42,666 I didn't ask her. I should ask her out. 188 00:11:42,838 --> 00:11:45,033 No, no, no. That was not my point. 189 00:11:45,609 --> 00:11:48,442 My point was, don't buy a cat. 190 00:11:48,614 --> 00:11:50,582 No, but you're right. 191 00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:52,945 I should march over there and ask her out. 192 00:11:53,487 --> 00:11:56,513 Oh, goody, we're getting a cat. 193 00:11:58,461 --> 00:12:00,429 Oh, yeah-- No. 194 00:12:03,668 --> 00:12:05,636 - Oh, hey, Leonard. - Good afternoon, Penny. 195 00:12:05,805 --> 00:12:08,171 So, hi, hey. Uh.... 196 00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:11,301 I was wondering if you had plans for dinner. 197 00:12:11,479 --> 00:12:12,844 Uh, you mean, dinner tonight? 198 00:12:14,351 --> 00:12:16,911 There is an inherent ambiguity in the word "dinner." 199 00:12:17,088 --> 00:12:19,955 Technically, it refers to the largest meal of the day. 200 00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:22,650 So to clarify here, by dinner, I mean supper. 201 00:12:23,029 --> 00:12:24,826 - Supper? - Or dinner, you know. 202 00:12:26,134 --> 00:12:28,728 I was thinking 6:30 if you can go, or a different time. 203 00:12:28,904 --> 00:12:30,064 Uh, 6:30 is great. 204 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,707 Really? 205 00:12:33,644 --> 00:12:35,839 - Great. - Yeah, I like hanging out with you guys. 206 00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:37,039 Us guys? 207 00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:40,083 Oh, you know, Sheldon, Howard, Raj. Who all is coming? 208 00:12:41,155 --> 00:12:42,554 They... 209 00:12:43,392 --> 00:12:45,690 ...might all be there. 210 00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:49,526 Or a subset of them might be there. 211 00:12:49,701 --> 00:12:51,965 Algebraically speaking, there are too many unknowns. 212 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,129 For example, Sheldon had Quizno's for lunch. 213 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,867 Sometimes he finds that filling, other times he doesn't. 214 00:12:57,045 --> 00:13:00,344 It's no fault of Quizno's. They have a varied menu. 215 00:13:01,818 --> 00:13:03,547 Okay, whatever, it sounds like fun. 216 00:13:04,288 --> 00:13:05,653 Great. 217 00:13:05,824 --> 00:13:07,348 - Did we say a time? - Six-thirty. 218 00:13:07,526 --> 00:13:08,550 Still good? 219 00:13:08,728 --> 00:13:10,355 - It's fine. - It's not carved in stone. 220 00:13:10,531 --> 00:13:11,793 No. Six-thirty is great. 221 00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:14,058 I'll get my chisel. Heh-heh. 222 00:13:15,104 --> 00:13:16,765 Why? 223 00:13:18,742 --> 00:13:22,838 To carve the-- Okay, I'll see you at 6:30. 224 00:13:33,497 --> 00:13:35,328 How do I look? 225 00:13:39,772 --> 00:13:41,603 Could you be more specific? 226 00:13:43,311 --> 00:13:45,711 Can you tell I'm perspiring a little? 227 00:13:46,548 --> 00:13:50,985 No. The dark crescent-shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely. 228 00:13:53,225 --> 00:13:55,022 - What time is your date? - Six-thirty. 229 00:13:55,228 --> 00:13:57,594 Perfect, that gives you two hours and 15 minutes... 230 00:13:57,764 --> 00:14:00,961 ...for that dense molecular cloud of Aramis to dissipate. 231 00:14:01,937 --> 00:14:05,304 - Is it too much? - Not if you're a rugby team. 232 00:14:06,978 --> 00:14:09,913 By the way, you didn't join us because you stuffed yourself... 233 00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:12,312 ...with a chicken carbonara sub at Quizno's. 234 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:13,878 Why would I join you? 235 00:14:14,889 --> 00:14:16,379 No reason. 236 00:14:18,794 --> 00:14:21,228 Oh, you know what? Maybe this isn't such a good idea. 237 00:14:21,398 --> 00:14:23,798 Oh, no, well, now, there's always the possibility... 238 00:14:23,968 --> 00:14:26,163 ...that alcohol and poor judgment on her part... 239 00:14:26,338 --> 00:14:28,704 ...might lead to a nice romantic evening. 240 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:33,509 you're right. Alcohol, poor judgment. It could go well. 241 00:14:34,117 --> 00:14:37,177 Of course, there's the other possibility that this day kicks off... 242 00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:40,414 ...an unpleasant six months of you passing awkwardly in the hall... 243 00:14:40,592 --> 00:14:43,459 ...until one of you breaks down and moves to another zip code. 244 00:14:43,897 --> 00:14:46,923 you could have stopped at, "It could go well." 245 00:14:47,535 --> 00:14:49,560 If I could have, I would have. 246 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,566 I mean, I'm a perfectly nice guy. There's no reason... 247 00:14:52,743 --> 00:14:55,541 ...we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. 248 00:14:55,714 --> 00:15:00,344 Maybe take a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common. 249 00:15:00,521 --> 00:15:03,319 "you love pottery? I love pottery." 250 00:15:03,758 --> 00:15:06,386 you know, there's a pause. We both know what's happening. 251 00:15:06,562 --> 00:15:08,530 We kiss. It's a little tentative at first. 252 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:11,691 But I realize, she's kissing me back, she's biting my lower lip. 253 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,997 She wants me. This thing is going the distance. 254 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:16,165 We're gonna have sex. Oh, God, oh, my God. 255 00:15:18,914 --> 00:15:21,508 Is the sex starting now? 256 00:15:22,218 --> 00:15:23,583 I'm having a panic attack. 257 00:15:23,754 --> 00:15:27,087 Oh, okay. Well, then, calm down. 258 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,124 If I could, I wouldn't be having an attack. 259 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:31,695 - That's why they call it a panic attack. - All right. 260 00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:33,423 Would you just sit down? 261 00:15:33,601 --> 00:15:36,161 - yeah, sit down. Now close your eyes. - Why? 262 00:15:36,338 --> 00:15:37,532 - Well, just do it. - Okay. 263 00:15:37,707 --> 00:15:40,699 Now, try to increase your alpha-wave activity. 264 00:15:40,878 --> 00:15:43,642 - What? - It's a biofeedback technique. 265 00:15:43,815 --> 00:15:45,942 It's relaxation through brainwave manipulation. 266 00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:48,280 I read it in Journal of American Neuroscience. 267 00:15:48,455 --> 00:15:51,151 It was sparsely sourced, but I think the science is valid. 268 00:15:51,327 --> 00:15:53,887 I probably have it here somewhere. 269 00:15:54,064 --> 00:15:56,191 Who am I kidding? I can't go through with this. 270 00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:58,096 - you need to call her and cancel. - Me? 271 00:15:58,270 --> 00:15:59,794 - yes. - What should I tell her? 272 00:15:59,972 --> 00:16:02,372 - I don't know. Tell her I'm sick. - Okay. 273 00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:05,067 Not the kind that would make her wanna take care of me. 274 00:16:05,247 --> 00:16:09,479 But nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable if I wanna try this again. 275 00:16:09,653 --> 00:16:12,144 Got it. So I'm assuming nothing venereal. 276 00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:19,390 I'll just tell her that you had a routine colonoscopy... 277 00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:21,398 ...and haven't quite bounced back. 278 00:16:21,570 --> 00:16:23,970 - Give me the phone. - I thought you wanted to cancel. 279 00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:26,938 I can't. If I don't show up, she'll still be expecting you. 280 00:16:27,645 --> 00:16:29,510 Why would she be expecting me? 281 00:16:30,515 --> 00:16:34,542 Stop asking me all these questions. I need to take another shower. 282 00:16:37,793 --> 00:16:40,455 - Are the rest of the guys meeting us here? - Oh, yeah. 283 00:16:40,630 --> 00:16:41,961 No. 284 00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:44,558 Turns out that Raj and Howard had to work... 285 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:50,198 ...and Sheldon had a colonoscopy, and he hasn't quite bounced back yet. 286 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,442 Ooh, my uncle just had a colonoscopy. 287 00:16:53,615 --> 00:16:57,711 You're kidding. Well, then, that's something we have in common. 288 00:16:58,255 --> 00:16:59,950 How? 289 00:17:00,125 --> 00:17:06,621 We both have people in our lives who wanna nip intestinal polyps in the bud. 290 00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,602 So, what's new in the world of physics? 291 00:17:15,714 --> 00:17:17,272 Nothing. 292 00:17:18,184 --> 00:17:19,674 Really? Nothing? 293 00:17:19,853 --> 00:17:25,348 Well, with the exception of string theory, not much has happened since the 1930s... 294 00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:27,257 ...and you can't prove string theory. 295 00:17:27,431 --> 00:17:32,869 At best you can say, "Hey, look, my idea has an internal logical consistency." 296 00:17:34,007 --> 00:17:37,670 Ah. Well, I'm sure things will pick up. 297 00:17:41,784 --> 00:17:43,775 What's new at the Cheesecake Factory? 298 00:17:43,954 --> 00:17:46,388 Oh, uh, not much. 299 00:17:46,558 --> 00:17:50,961 Oh, we do have a chocolate key lime that's moving pretty well. 300 00:17:51,131 --> 00:17:52,655 Good. 301 00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:54,566 Good. 302 00:17:57,507 --> 00:18:01,671 Uh, what about your, uh, hallway friend? 303 00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:06,250 Doug? Oh, yeah. I don't know. I mean, you know, he's nice and funny, but-- 304 00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,684 - Can I get you started with some drinks? - No. Bzzz. 305 00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:12,085 - You were saying, "But...."? - I'd like a drink. 306 00:18:12,261 --> 00:18:15,526 Just say the "but" thing about Doug, and then I'll get her back. 307 00:18:16,133 --> 00:18:18,966 Okay, well, it-- I don't know. It's just me. 308 00:18:19,137 --> 00:18:21,298 I'm still getting over this break-up with Kurt. 309 00:18:21,474 --> 00:18:24,272 And this thing with Doug would just be rebound sex. 310 00:18:24,845 --> 00:18:29,043 Ugh. Don't get me started on rebound sex. 311 00:18:29,418 --> 00:18:30,885 It's just-- It's my pattern. 312 00:18:31,054 --> 00:18:33,249 I break up, then I find some cute guy... 313 00:18:33,424 --> 00:18:37,155 ...and then it's just 36 meaningless hours of.... 314 00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:38,558 you know. 315 00:18:40,601 --> 00:18:42,034 I'm not sure that I do. Um.... 316 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:48,207 Is that one 36-hour experience or is that 36 hours spread out over... 317 00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:51,838 ...say, one glorious summer? 318 00:18:52,018 --> 00:18:53,485 No. It's usually over a weekend. 319 00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:56,418 And trust me, you do not feel good after it. 320 00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:59,021 Well, chafing, right? 321 00:19:00,196 --> 00:19:01,254 Emotionally. 322 00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:04,332 Of course, yeah. Emotional chafing. 323 00:19:11,412 --> 00:19:13,573 Hey, do you wanna see something cool? 324 00:19:14,984 --> 00:19:19,182 I can make this olive go into this glass without touching it. 325 00:19:19,457 --> 00:19:22,085 - How? - Physics. 326 00:19:27,368 --> 00:19:29,598 Wow, centrifugal force. 327 00:19:29,771 --> 00:19:33,070 Actually, it's centripetal force, which is an inward force... 328 00:19:33,243 --> 00:19:36,542 ...generated by the glass acting on the olive. Ooh. 329 00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:38,645 Excuse me. 330 00:19:38,818 --> 00:19:41,946 Now, if you were biting on the olive... 331 00:19:42,123 --> 00:19:45,650 ...you'd be on a non-inertial reference frame and would-- 332 00:19:47,063 --> 00:19:50,260 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm okay. 333 00:19:50,935 --> 00:19:52,459 Did you spill ketchup? 334 00:19:52,638 --> 00:19:54,970 - No. - I'm not okay. 335 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,643 Are you sure, You don't wanna go to the emergency room? 336 00:19:58,815 --> 00:19:59,839 No, no. I'm okay. 337 00:20:00,017 --> 00:20:01,416 It's stopped bleeding. 338 00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:04,555 Anyway, you did throw up. Isn't that a sign of a concussion? 339 00:20:04,724 --> 00:20:07,989 yes, but I get carsick too, so.... 340 00:20:08,162 --> 00:20:09,186 Okay. 341 00:20:09,364 --> 00:20:11,059 Sorry about your car, by the way. 342 00:20:11,233 --> 00:20:14,862 Oh, no, it's fine. You got most of it out the window. 343 00:20:15,472 --> 00:20:17,372 The poor guy on the bike. 344 00:20:20,112 --> 00:20:21,136 I had a nice time. 345 00:20:21,614 --> 00:20:23,241 yeah, me too. 346 00:20:24,318 --> 00:20:25,615 Well, um, good night. 347 00:20:26,354 --> 00:20:27,685 Good night. 348 00:20:28,658 --> 00:20:30,285 - Leonard. - yeah? 349 00:20:31,061 --> 00:20:33,325 Was this supposed to be a date? 350 00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:35,793 This? 351 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,393 No. 352 00:20:39,106 --> 00:20:40,664 No, of course not. 353 00:20:40,841 --> 00:20:44,072 This was just you and me hanging out with guys who didn't show up... 354 00:20:44,247 --> 00:20:47,375 ...because of work and a colonoscopy. 355 00:20:48,687 --> 00:20:50,177 Okay. I was just checking. 356 00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:55,793 When I take a girl on a date, and I do, heh... 357 00:20:57,198 --> 00:20:59,132 ...she knows she's been dated. 358 00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:02,829 Capital D. Heh. 359 00:21:03,274 --> 00:21:07,802 Bold face, underlined, like, dated. 360 00:21:08,781 --> 00:21:11,614 I think I might have a concussion. I'm gonna go lay down. 361 00:21:11,786 --> 00:21:13,219 Good night. 362 00:21:16,827 --> 00:21:20,160 - So how was your date? - Awesome. Heh. 363 00:21:24,371 --> 00:21:27,397 Score one for liquor and poor judgment. 364 00:21:27,447 --> 00:21:31,997 Repair and Synchronization by Rajibul Hasan Ronnie, Dhaka, Bangladesh